#dont blame gods or whatever

[sunnnfish]

I know you said don't worry about it but I am a chronic worrier so do you wish to elaborate on that fabiniku shirashiro au you mentioned

WELLLL IF YOU INSIST... twirling hair evilly. so first up fabiniku is short for a manga series Fantasy Bishojo Juniku Ojisan to. translated to. deep breath. Life with an Ordinary Guy Who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout. or other such translations. dont know if you know what fabiniku is so we're gonna explain it wheeeee.

so basic plot, maybe inferred from the title. these two guys in their 30s are like best friends who often go out drinking and go to mixers and all that and one of them is all like. i wanna get a giirrrlllllfriieennddd <- drunk in the bathroom while his friend comforts him. hope youre already recieving the shirashiro mindbeams. two hopeless romantic friends etc etc. and then. i forget exactly how we get to this but drunk sopping wet pathetic one (tachibana is his name) ends up saying like. i just wish i was a girl! or something to that effect. which catches the attention of an otherworldly god who takes it so literally and brings them both to this fantasy world in which tachibana has been turned into a drop dead beautiful and cute girl and his best friend is just still in his office suit. (jinguuji is his name). shenanigans ensue! highly recommended its so fun and interesting and subtly(?) queer. central themes of love and saving people. theres traumatic backstories and everything. really recommend just reading it.

BUT. shirashiro slots soooooo well into this setup it makes me genuinely sick. shirahama and tashiro still going to mixers from their office jobs because they just cant land a goddamn girlfriend. shirahama drunk and sick in the bathroom, tashiro with a hand on his back and throwing his arm over his shoulder to walk them home. shirahama, drunk, wish i was a cute girl! drop dead gorgeous! at least people would love me. transported to a fantasy world, shirahama gets to turned into a cute girl, not that tashiro is necessarily jealous, thatd be silly. she is really cute though. and shirahama, girl, shorter than tashiro for once, looking up like. has he always been this cool...? wait who said that.

theres also this whole bit where tachibana, girl, is a bit cursed with being so pretty that it literally charms any men in a however big radius. which jinguuji does sometimes fall victim to and it shows a little [<3 charmed] effect above his head. putting things together in my head This is also a bit like dating sim au. anyways. and theres this whole inner turmoil like Wait she may be cute but i know hes really just a guy. guys im so bad at explaining thiinnngggsss theres so many facets. read fabiniku.

theres also just so many moments in fabiniku that just line up. theres a bit about jinguuji letting his hair down and it was insanely tashiro coded. theres the way jinguuji is so observant but reserved. the character developments make sense. really truly just read fabiniku with shirashiro in mind and youll see it.

also like. look at them. come oonnnn.

theres also adjustments ive made in my head about their backstories n stuff but that would be so spoilery. once again: read fabiniku. im really bad at explaining things. just imaging me pointing and gesturing frantically and making weird noises. whatever. peace and love on planet shirashiro

#head in my hands IM BAD AT EXPLAINING THINNGGGSSS #really truly just read fabiniku with shirashiro lens #ive of course got all these like. minir differences in how scenes play out with shirashiro as opposed to original #all mapped out in my head. adjustments to backstories and all that #its just. so many coincidences. and the situation is so fun to play with #especially in regards to tashiro gender cause you THINK i would make tashiro the girl but no. making him inspect that feeling for himself #god. ive been in a car for hmm 6 hours now? dont blame me for being incoherant #<-would be exactly this incoherant regardless #whatever!!!! read fabiniku!!!!! #sunnfish.ask

[mrpenguinpants]

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!

I see a lot of ads for Reverse 1999 but I didn't realize it came out global! I've been wanting to look at it bc it looks SO COOL

-Lucky

I'm dragging my barely alive corpse through the mud. I think I posted about reverse 1999 like- 4 months ago. Oops. But if you did play it, thoughts? To be honest, it's a super pretty game. Characters look nice, the animations are fucking great, and I really like the art style. Everything else is pretty fucking meh for me.

#lucky #lucky anon #reverse 1999 #like don't get me wrong #it's a really interesting premise and the gameplay loop isn't horrible or anything #its at least different from other gacha games #and my god the fucking art and animations of the characters is what keeps me in the game #but man #it gets so stale?? #its nice that there's some strategy with each characters passives and whatever but you can kinda just brute force everything #and once you get it #its just the same loop all over again #and i dont really blame the creators because its kinda hard to make that kind of style of combat more interesting #but its still boring ya know? #the story as well #it had a really good premise #the storm and everything but like #first two chapters kinda #sucked? #not really sucked but i feel like it was sooo...meh? like it had such a strong start and then just kinda #stayed the same? #the overall story is good but when you're going through it chapter by chapter #holy shit its sooooo boring #like i feel like im reading filler with one sentence of progression #i actually liked the first event story with the robber #melenia??? something like that and the current event story with Shamane and kaalaa #BUT HOLY SHIT #THE FUCKING PAYOFF??? WAS SO ASS??? IT WAS SO GOOD AND THEN IT JUST ENDED #i was invested in this mystery and fucking meteor shower and this arcane vs human research thing #and the reuniting of siblings never seen before

[thechaotichorselord]

alright so i’ve lost 7 pounds, maybe 9, in 2 days

i am in a very depressed mood

i’ve just realized how limiting my household is based on people’s reactions

i feel lost

fun.

#i don’t fucking know #vent or whatever i don’t care #i’m exhausted #god i wish i didn’t want to draw #i wish i could stop #i feel so guilty #and wrong #i shouldn’t be this like #i don’t know how to say it #depressed #or dump my problems on people #i shouldn’t even be posting this here to begin with #i should appreciate what i have #because i have things others dont #but i can’t help but feel jealous or mad #why would you guilt trip me for asking for a free drawing app? #why would you yell at me to pass out during a panic attack? #why would you brush off all my issues and blame it on something unrelated? #why can’t you accept that you’re not helping me #“oh but we are don’t you see what we do for you” #dont you see how it hurts #all your hugs feel empty #you feel hollow #you feel like a distant memory #the things i like you turn into rewards #but you say im blaming you #you say im wrong #you make me doubt my issues #you make me feel like a selfish brat #oh well

[doveotion]

.

#diary #religion rant incoming lol #i keep thinking about Christianity lately and how its impacted me #theres something in me that wants to give all my hurt to somethinf bigger than me so i dont feel so alone #i didnt even realise i was doing it until last month but i pray often. its mostly just wishing for a better life #but sometimes i wake up early to the sun streaming through my blinds or i hug someone really tight or cry and i feel closer to god #its such a weird thing to talk about because religion undoubtedly traumatized me and I'll never fully heal from that #but i dont blame god or jesus or whatever. i blame men in power for that #i still dont know where i stand on religion #im neither religious nor atheist. i think agnostic is the closest term that could describe me but im more spiritual than anything #i guess im religious in the sense that i believe jesus was a humanitarian. he loved humanity even though they were going to be his downfall #i can relate to that kind of devotion.

[butchhansolo]

a reminder from your local trans guy to please pirate ahsoka if you watch it i'm so tired of the Yall Can't Even Boycott Chick Fil A phenomenon

#it's clear how shallow your support is when you drop it at the slightest inconvenience because of your favourite characters or whatever #it is not hard to pirate it. i do not blame you for wanting to watch it but dear god just pirate it so the disney stats dont go up #we cannot let them think they can do whatever they want and we'll eat the slop regardless #.txt #ahsoka #star wars #like i want to see the ghost crew and captain rex and all those guys too but it is of vital importance to Not add to the disney+ viewership

[thejugheadparadox]

i am really sad tonight

#i blame my dad but its actually my fault #today was good stuff is good i dont know why i cant just compartmentalise better #but there are things im so nervous about #and i want people to take me seriously and respect me and want to be friends with me so much #but i also curate a persona that resists that #and i dont even like it when people are nice to me #so whatever #my show was really really fucking good but no one knows and the cool people from it dont think im cool #bc literally why would they i made no effort to make them think so #but cool people do not make an effort so its just not gonna happen for me #and theres redacted which i am fucking terrified about #i dont work properly god bless

[arch-dieangelo]

I KNOW IT’S SELFISH, BUT I WANTED MY OWN LIFE

¹ the ti.tan’s curse, rick r.iordan   ² the bad beginning, lemony snicket   ³ the ti.tan’s curse, r.ick ri.ordan   ⁴ jane mersky leder   ⁵ the battle of the labyr.inth, ri.ck rio.rdan   ⁶ always gold, radical face

#mutuals can interact plz dont if ur a personal #& DI ANGELO—BIANCA. #MINE. #META. #like i said. only tangentially related to him. #i never ever would blame her for joining the eternal girl scouts. she did what she thought was best! and she was ALSO a child. #by that point she had been responsible for nico for 70+ years. imagine the exhaustion #she was under the assumption her parents were dead and that it was literally just her and nico against the world. #so she finds out shes a demigod and immediately joins up with a crew of immortal girls! i support her! #do i think that IF bianca had lived that nico and her would have had a good relationship? #absolutely not. #she was under way too much stress even if they both lived together at chb #or even if she was still with the hunters. because then nico is alone. theyd constantly worry about eachother even apart. it would be #unhealthy. always. theres no way around that #SHE DIED AND THE GODDESS SHE PLEDGED HER IMMORTAL LIFE TO WAS JUST LIKE OH WELL /SHRUG. #meanwhile her FATHER went 'damn i'll use the backup kid' #THAT HE MADE HER RAISE. #will always be angry about this whatever. whatever. #at the end of the day its the gods fault. and yes i do blame hades! he is not free of this he was a shitty dad.

[bl00dw1tch]

Am i fundamentally inhuman and unlovable and unfit to exist in modern society and actually secretly an evil fake bitch or am i just going to start my period in a few days.

#horse.txt #the world may never know..... #anyway ive felt especially hateful these past few days and im blaming that dream where i told a karen to khs #bc thats just been in my head on repeat ever since at Every inconvenience and i actually kind of hate it #bc i. have noticed it absolutely tanking my mood every time lmao #which makes acting normal (aka Nice) really fucking hard #i want to be i like being nice its like the only thing going for me but also i have SUCH a talent for pissing ppl off when i Let Go #and man. every day it gets more and more tempting. even though i know id regret it. #i just want to fucking. disappear off the face of the earth for 3 years and then come back to my friends n family as a whole person #instead of whatever the fuck i am now #i have nothing to fucking offer except for things im way too scared to give up. i feel like i can only be honest with complete strangers #but even then like. not really lmao #tale as old as fucking time #god i dont want to be here anymore #vent //

[saltedsolenoid]

Math is not going well

#ive had an uptick in memory issues lately (either due to brain fog or the System Dilemma) and it's fucking up my ability to do math #like. i dont remember half of my math work despite the fact that it's finished and right in front of me #so there's a test next period right #and i am. so. lost. #im looking at my attendance records and I've been here for the whole unit and i still dont remember any of it #so #uh #may jade harley be on my side and for the love of god PLEASE possess me again so i dont fail #because my mom will beat my ass if i do #godbless #(this is way out of the ordinary too. i remember numbrrs really well and I can't even remember the quadratic equation) #im super brain fogged today so ill just blame it on that or whatever

[ilynpilled]

#i dont think i have ever agreed with an opinion on jaime on twitter god bless #u guys will just have to not blame me for refusing to listen to asoiaf podcasts 😔🙏 #to be fair its like 2 years old and i accidentally came across it but lowkey half of the ppl on there believe this from what ive seen #ive been vaguely engaging in discourse recently so im gonna go back to not looking at asoiaf stuff over there lol #yall can think whatever #peace & love #even if u go by this logic AT LEAST attempt to deconstruct his attraction/love for these individuals and what his actions for them means #funny to me in general that cersei’s love for jaime is explored to hell and back #and yet the reverse is not at all #even though there is a lot there too

[evilmagician430]

(open image and zoom in to view better)

top ten DIABOLICAL women of science and medicine. number 1: the mad(die) scientist A.K.A. ""Dr. Friend""*

*she isnt a real doctor, not yet atleast

maddiefriend will become real in 5 seconds

#with her having a different model later on than the mossman model they used for her atfirst she would have different hair colors #my headcanon is that her hair is naturally dark and she dyes it ginger. #because of that one time she pretended to be gertrudes sister as an excuse to loiter around the acachalla house i guess #i dont think she thought that through. still really weird of her but love makes you irrational sometimes<3 /hj #anyways the hair color makes sense that way. the way i drew it isnt how dying your hair works though #youd have to bleach it first. i just eanted to convey the concept simpler #she is a really cool character and people tend to forget she has a personality outside of liking billy #which tbf that IS the central point of her character. but it makes her do weird shit like makes CLONES of him in her EVIL LAB #shes literally a mad scientist girl.... i gave her a little lalonde swag with the outfit and purple eyes i think. #wasnt directly intentional but i could tell i was doing it. blame it on me rereading homestuck #also i didnt feel like coloring in her freckles so theyre just black. whatever #GOD shes so scary. #venturiantale #taleblr #venturiantale fanart #maddie friend #maddiefriend #billy acachalla #<== hes there. just a little bit #mspaint #images that are horrid to see and look at #i need some1 two help me find that one txtpost someone on here made that was like #his flat ass and aimless gaze have captivated me #i liked a while ago but i didnt reblog... twas a mistake... mutuals help i think one of you reblogged it and thats how i saw it #not that it actually matters that much anyways. i just think itd be funny tohave a screencapture of it and draw maddie saying it. #free idea feel free to steal it right out from under me.

[blye-flower]

.

#my thing is always gonna be this #how are you upset with me because im trying to have a boundary??? #how are you upset with ME that YOURE ALWAYS OVERSTEPPING MY BOUNDARIES #like yes i babysitter im a babysitter but you cant expect me to babysit just cause you need a babysitter!?? like what??! #“oh we needed to go to another church and the kids didnt wanna go” okay?? so you just dropped them off without saying anything to me??! #you didnt even ask if i could you just assumed i would cause im home??? like i dont deserve a moment??? #like im not a parent #i dont have any kids and i definitely dont fucking plan on it so why tf do i feel like a single mother in my day to day?? #why do i never have any free time to myself why is my free time volunteered to making sure children are supervised??! #“well since you decided this im just gonna come get the kids” yeah im within my fucking right so why are you phrasing it like im wrong #god ive never been this frustrated that im fucking crying like can i have some fuckinf breathing space AWAY from other ppls kids #blymi rants #update:: my sister did in fact come and get them #and told the kids “yall cant stay home cause auntie doesnt feel like watching yall” #definitely feels like shes putting the blame on me cool cool cool #just peachy. #love that for me lets make it MY fault whatever #god i really cannot catch a fucking break #and trust and believe im gonna have to hear some stupid ass better than thou speech about how i need to help out my sister #“because shes a student a mother AND working” as if any of those choices are my fucking concern yep wonderful #especially for a sister. that while i love her. feels entitled to peoples help because shes “going through so much” #and now i cant even fucking relax or draw or write because im so fucking pissed #which is why i wanted the afternoon to myself ANYWAYS so no matter what the fucking days a goddamn bust for me regardless

[nomaishuttle]

i am just a small dog girlie and they are my best friends. i love them sm

#I LOVE LARGE DOGS AN EQUAL AMOUNT TO BE QUITE HONEST.. but i feel thats not super unpopular so i talk abt small dogs more #bc i need them 2 know I am with them when other ppl call them ugly or yappy or annoying #or aggressive i hate it when ppl label small dogs as aggressive when its like. Thats bc ppl dont train their dogs #and the dogs are very territorial andanxious and untrained #bc its 'funny'when a small dog is stressed out. eff etc my lecrure i do everytime i start thinkin bout dogs #but yss.. i fr just love dogs #ABD CATS I LOVE CATS TOO!!! i dont believe in the dichotomy i think theyre both good animals. and good for different ppl #abd its finr to have preferences but i hatee the whole like EWWWW CAT OWNER CAT MEAN SND EVIL!! and EWEW DOG OWNER DOG LOUD SND SNNOYING #like ok. whatever dude. what if we just loved our animals. and took care of them. yk. what if the world was made of pudding #and we all were like I personally wouldnt want to have a cat but i think its nice that you have one and that that makes you happy :] yk... #isnt there enough HATE and VIOLENCE in this world!!! #sry guys im waiting for my headphones to charge for my beddybye time so im just talkin. yk how it is #but yas. i love small dogs i love large dogs i get certain critiques for each.. and im glad that ppl are able to say I wouldnt be able to #live with or properly take care of this type of dog. i think thats a good thing #i just wish ppl wouldnt like. blame the dog. for being a dog #yk . idk.. they r our friends guys.. #ik irs like. Overly sensitive but seeing ppl call dogs stupid or ugly makes me so sad sometimes #bc like they fr cannot help it whatsoever. we literally bred them to look these ways #i think its fine to be like This dog is sort of silly looking bc i do that. some dogs just are very silly looking #but idk.. no need 2 be hateful. they r all gods creatures Grins.. #but anywaysbyas sry j rambled. i talk more abt small dogs even tho i love all dogs mainly bc ot THE HATERS! and also bc well famously my #favourite dog breed is the quintessential small dog. EL WAWA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[get-more-bald]

when you're an inherently bad person🤪

#im a firmly believe that people arent truly or inherently born evil. except me ofc #the thing is that. if im not a bad person or whatever. im just incredibly unpleasant to handle deal with or be around. which may be worse #because im actually trying to be fun to be around. in general. when im not stressed out of my mind or almost (or actively) crying. i do try #and if im inherently unpleasant. it explains everything but it means i wont ever have anyone. not really. #its like a have a bad smell around me that i cant get off. which i also fear may be the reality as well. #i do shower! i do use deodorant and sometimes the fuckign. body mists or perfumes or whatever. nice smelling shite i dont actually ever wan #to use but i must be somewhat pleasant #but do i use too much of it? not enough? do i shower the wrong way? should i isolate myself forever amd not subject people to that smell? #well! #vent post #also i never fucking smile which is apparently important in being approachable. but i can blame that on the autism #god i fucking hate being who i am #im not even talking about personality rn. being trans. and autistic the way i am. and whatever else i fucking probably am. and being a part #of this fucking family and living in this god damned place. i hate it all #its difficult and i dont want to be that anymore but i cant ever stop. i can move out in what. a couple of years? i could eventually go no #contact with that family? i couldnt. but i wont ever stop being who i am at my core. and thats so depressing and it wants me to kill myself #not in a painful way though. no cutting or whatever. pills or a quick jump would be enough

[scholarhect]

i will never outgrow responding to people in confusing ways but it will be ok because people are patient :)

#post tag #wish people online were more patient. constantly you see somebody fucking up an interaction in a way that would be forgiven irl #but is punished harshly here #and then everyone laughs and reblogs it #like. idk. please consider that we are all people on here and these are all interactions #when you make a joke at somebody’s expense there is a person on the other side of the screen being made fun of! #it doesn’t happen to me but i don’t really interact with strangers online much #i dont want to get too preachy here sorry. this was supposed to be a post about how i confuse people at the start of interactions constantly #but i stumble my way to the middle of the conversation and then it’s mostly ok. frequently #however i have been thinking about how mean people can be on here recently… idk #i slept 3 hours last night and i blame the fact that i saw a tweet that pissed me off and got mad for like an hour and a half #and eventually calmed down but still couldn’t fall asleep. for some reason #anyway i wanted to say that i’m not sure if the way people react to social missteps on here is the way people want to react to me when i do #it irl. or not #i don’t . like the idea that people might want to punish me for it but feel unable to due to pressure to be polite. pressure that then doesn #t exist online #i ​hope not. lol #however i do ask you (yes you. the girl reading this. or whatever) to step back & think ‘would i say this to somebody’s face’ next time you #want to reblog with an epic comeback #oh god my sentences are getting so long. girl who simply cannot stop talking #girl who is blogginggggg <3 #ANYWAY. enough. let’s return to my original point which was that i like it when people are nice to me

[fallowtail]

i try not to let it get to me but the knowledge i am always going to be The Stupid One in every situation i’m in just…really, really sucks. sigh. oh well. i stay silly :3c

#cant even blame it on being audhd because everyone else i know who is #is smart and talented and their brains work alright 😭 i'm just stupid and incapable #i feel like i’m the only person out there who does not get to experience any of the benefits or joys of these things #for me it is nothing but brain damage and endless suffering with no brightside or intelligence or anything #but then everyone tells me i’m the bad guy because if there was a magic button that would make me not audhd i would click it immediately #like why am i wrong for not wanting to suffer #everyone else seems to have a special interest or a fixation and they can remember information about those things but i...dont. i can't. LO #i do not experience the autistic joy everyone else talks about. i dont have the adhd focusing on what you like superpowers or whatever #my autism made me barely pass highschool and i couldnt handle community college and i had to drop out and i can barely handle having #an entry level job that everyone patronizes me about #i'm barely verbal and i am losing my ability to function to brainfog and everyone around me treats me like i'm their little pet idiot #but wanting to change that about myself makes me evil and bad or something i guess #sorry to whine on tumblr like the good old days but twitter is sick of my shit LOL 😭 #pmdd making me spiral worse than usual #one of those times where i'm realizing that if everyone else experiences these things totally different from me than maybe that was never #what was wrong with me in the first place lol. maybe i dont have an explanation and i'm back to being 10 15 19 24 sobbing wondering why im #like this. why i'm so stupid. not even in a self hating way in a legitimately proven way that i am functioning below average intelligence. #ok im done sorryyyyy god i forgot how good tumblr is to vent on #z