#even just wants someone to take over their brain for a bit so they arent filled with insane amounts of stress about fucking up.

[quietwingsinthesky]

i have been thinking about that ‘give your oc a kink’ post for days. because i think even would have a thing for hypnosis. yes, yes, for character reasons of overwhelming feelings of impending failure that make the idea of having the ability to choose anything at all be taken out of their hands look extremely appealing. but also because it would be so fucking funny in the worse timeline. imagine you get stuck in time hell with a guy whose whole thing is hypnotizing people, and u hate him. u hate him so. so much.

#i never let them just have a nice relaxing time huh #even just wants someone to take over their brain for a bit so they arent filled with insane amounts of stress about fucking up. #and no one around them will help out for silly reasons like ‘this is a bad coping mechanism’ and ‘having free will is important’ and #‘controlling someone’s mind is invasive’ #except for this one asshole. and they don’t even like him. #i cannot emphasize enough how much the core of this timeline is that even and the master do not fucking like each other. at all. #but the thing is: time bubble. #even can’t reasonably expect to survive on their own. and the master gets his kicks out of watching one of the doctor’s companions get Worse #when circumstances force their hand. and also its helpful to have a spare to be able to throw into pits before you jump in yourself to see #how deep they are. #something even is aware of. and on some level finds easier than their relationship with the doctor. there’s security in knowing someone will #destroy you. in choosing them to do it. or at least telling yourself that you had a choice when you picked them. #<3 healthy and normal relationship. #i got off topic this was about hypnosis. anyway the point of that was that its one thing to give a guy your death and another to (willingly) #let him fuck around in your head. no matter how appealing it looks some days. #and let me tell you: even’s had some days. #endgame for even getting out of this. (if they do. i haven’t decided.) but the endgame is someone on the surface whose face the doctor knows #and someone underneath who is a complete stranger. both metaphorically and physically as in: that suicide pill tooth is probably not the #last thing they end up letting the master stick in their body. even is at the end of the day a constant struggle to be a person and not a #reaction to the people around them. #dw oc #and maybe in a nicer timeline they meets river song and find kinky applications for hallucinagenic lipstick. i could let them be happy. #i could. i wont! but i could.

[joekeeryswife]

AHH girl dad! pedro is really just occupying my mind rn….

that one imagine with expecting! reader really has me in a chokehold but just thinking about how sweet pedro would be while your in labor

from the jump, he’d be by your side. the minute you feel your water break in bed and your contractions are feeling a little too real, hes right by your side. his old man brain is definitely a little discombobulated at first bit he’s definitely trying to get you out of your now soaked pjs and into some dry sweats to get you into the car.

thanks to you and all your nesting while pedro’s at work, all the hospital bags were set up and stocked fully for you, him, and the baby, along with the carseat already being installed, you guys were officially set up to be parents!!! pedro knows these contractions are really taking a toll on you so he’d give you all the time in the world to get your bum in the car. as soon as your both seated and settled, the drive over is filled with so much groaning and moaning and squeezing his hand with a freakishly amount of strength, because once again, contractions are indeed, a bitch.

but pedro will let you scream and shout all you need, hes just happy to be there with you. but he cant help but feel some sort of guilt. you both had entered this journey into parenthood but here you were carrying the heaviest load. so he did what he could best. after arriving in the hospital and being sent up to the suite you’d be staying in for the next few days, he’ your number 1 advocate. you want more ice chips? he’s already running down to grab you some more. one nurse isnt following the intended birth plan? best believe he is already asking for a new one. back hurts? hes the first to get behind you and rub it. hes going on walks with you, doing your lamaaze training (which he initially thought was dumb), holding you the exact way you need to be held, whispering sweet nothings, telling you how strong you are and how proud he is of you.

pedro makes it known that he wants to be as involved in the birthing process as possible, however he is needed. when its time to push, hes holding your leg up for you, praising you, helping the doctor count down on the pushes. as terrifying as it sounds, he had never been more glad to make such an effort. getting to watch beautiful, life-changing moment for the both you you. watching your daughter enter the world. i wholeheartedly believe the minute that little girl comes out, hes sobbing. i mean not that you arent but he just can’t express any other emotion what the overwhelming feeling of gratitude he feels. he feels incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful partner. he feels so lucky to have someone who was willing to go through all the troubles and challenges pregnancy presented to you. he feels incredibly lucky to have his heart grown even bigger for the newest addition into yalls life.

the minute your daughter is placed on you chest, it is the first time in a while that everything just feels right, and in place. your heart is more than content. you and your little family.🤍

i have so many thoughts in my mind about dad! pedro pascal, i just have no idea where to put them😭

Labour - p.p

hello angels! i’m honestly fuming because my last pedro fanfic got cut short- idk wtf is up with tumblr BUT… this request was the cutest thing i’ve ever read i don’t even think my writing is going to live up to it. i hope this is okay that it’s a part two to my last fanfic! enjoy angels (p.s dad! imagines are my fave so don’t be shy to put them in my inbox! x) 🤍 ⚠️age gap couple⚠️

taglist (don’t forget to add yourselves🤍) @1-john-4-19 @newtandminhoaretoocute @mavs101 @brilliantopposite187 @mimi-luvzyu (if there’s a line through your name i cannot tag you for some reason x)

"Pedro, get here right now" you shouted as you sat up in bed, looking down at the now soaking bedcovers. he had insisted you go lay down and rest as a few contractions throughout the day had worn you out and now, after an hour of sleep, your water had finally broke. you heard rapid foot steps approaching the bedroom and then the door fly open.

"what?" he looked frantic, and once he saw your anxious look on your face he knew. he walked to your side of the bed and lifted the bed covers off of you and held his hand out so he could help you up which you gently took ahold of. he could see the wet stain on the bedsheet but that was the last thing he was worrying about, he was worrying about you.

he helped you sit up and watched as a contraction surged through your body, making your face scrunch up and a small whimper escape your mouth, you squeezed his hand and tried breathing through it. after the contraction subsided you turned your body so your feet were flat on the floor, getting out of bed had gotten a lot harder and you always had to sit to catch your breath before you could get up.

"i'm sorry" you said as you looked back at the stained bed. he kept his gentle hold on your hand and lent in to give you a small kiss on your forehead. "hey, don't worry. it's only a bedsheet baby, are you okay?" once he saw you give him a small nod and a smile which reassured him enough he let go of your hand and walked to the chest of draws to get you some knew sweatpants then quickly made his way back to you.

"we gotta get you to the hospital love, you've gotta get changed" he helped you stand up which made his heart crush when he saw you breathing through yet another contraction. each one was coming with a whole new level of pain and it broke his heart that he couldn't do anything to take the pain away.

after that contraction finally subsided he helped you get changed into the fresh sweatpants and with that he grabbed your phone and your hand then helped you make your way to front door, he had to grab the baby's bags which were packed by you. you had started packing a month before your due date whilst Pedro was still working/doing interviews and he had never been more grateful that you had done that instead of rushing to do it at near your due date.

the car seat had been installed in the car three weeks ago just incase the baby decided they wanted to show up a little earlier than planned but they didn't, your due date was two days away and it looked like your baby would be coming right on time. once he was sure he had everything he quickly made his way back to you and helped you slip on your shoes and then to the elevator. the ride down to the car park of the apartment complex was filled with groans of pain as the contractions started to get closer together.

Pedro held your hand as the elevator finally stopped on the ground floor and guided you to the car which was luckily not to far away from the elevator, meaning you didn't have to walk far. "babe we have to stop for a second" you said, these contractions were really brutal, so brutal that they actually made you want to cry and that was rare. you had a very high pain tolerance so when Pedro saw you with teary eyes he knew these were really getting to you.

you hunched over slightly as a more painful contraction hit you, this time the pain went to the bottom of your back and lower stomach. Pedro let go of your hand and placed it on your back, rubbing it softly. "you're doing so well honey, so so well" he said as you stood up right again. all you wanted to do was sit down and with the car being in your view, maybe 15 steps away, you knew you needed to get there.

Pedro kept his hand on your back as you both started walking to the car again and you breathed a sigh of relief when you finally made it. he opened the passenger door for you and helped you into the seat. "you comfortable baby?" he asked you and watched you nod your head. you had heard from so many people that contractions hurt but you did not think they would hurt this much. he closed the car door and then made his way to the boot so he could put the bags away.

once he was settled in the drivers side he immediately started the car and started the thirty minute drive to the hospital. the whole ride to the hospital was filled with you groaning in pain with each contraction that came and with that came the soft words of encouragement Pedro spoke to you. this was probably the softest you'd ever heard him and it made your heart swell with love as he tried his best to make you feel better, 'you're doing so well my love, keep breathing that's it' 'you're gonna be such a good mama, you're doing brilliantly honey'

"mother fucker this hurts so much" you said as you squeezed Pedro's hand tightly. he took his eyes off of the road for a split second to look at you. he didn't know why but he felt guilty. you were both becoming parents, both on this pregnancy journey together yet you were the one that had dealt with the morning sickness, crazy hormone changes, cravings, back pain, and now contractions. "i know sweetheart but you're doing so well, we are almost there, five minutes tops" he lifted your hand to his mouth and placed a small kiss there for comfort.

-

you were finally at the hospital in the room where you would give birth to your baby. the nurse had checked and you were only 7cm dilated meaning you had another 3 to go. you were hunched over the bed, trying to get some sort of relief from the pain in your back, laying down did not help at all so you had to stick to this. Pedro was behind you, massaging the bottom of your back as you groaned in pain.

he watched the monitor which was tracking all of your contractions and saw that this one was a lot worse than the other ones. "that's it honey, well done. you're doing amazing" his words of encouragement filled your ears as your hand grabbed onto the bed sheets, keeping them in a tight grasp until the contraction subsided.

"that one was so bad" you said as you stood up straight and turned to face Pedro. he had a sympathetic look on his face. "i know" he opened his arms and you immediately 'fell' into him, needing one of his hugs. they always calmed you down somehow and right now you needed to calm down. "i'm so hungry" you said with a sigh.

you, for some reason, were only allowed to eat ice chips and all you wanted was a burger and actual chips but you couldn't, not until after you'd given birth. "we've run out of ice baby, let me go get you some" and with a kiss on forehead he pulled away from you to go find a nurse. within 5 minutes he was back with more ice chips. "here you are" he said lifting the spoon filled with ice chips up to your lips so you could eat them. "thank you sweetie" you said as you chewed on the ice. he lent in to kiss you on the lips and said a small "you're welcome" before feeding you more ice.

Pedro had been a bit weary of one particular nurse, she was in her mid 30s and was the most judgemental person he'd ever met. she was just not listening to a thing you had suggested and she was just one of those nurses who never listened to their patient, whatever the nurse wanted to do that's what was happening with no debate.

Pedro finally had enough of her when she almost made you cry with her harsh words and judgmental stares which lingered a little to long so she knew you'd notice. you both got judged on a daily basis on social media for your age gap but you had never had any bad experiences in real life, people were always so kind to you and in the thousands of judgemental people where were thousands of supportive people who always said how cute you guys were.

he had waited until she left before he slipped out of the room to speak to someone about getting a different nurse. you were in so much pain and having a nurse who wasn't making you feel any better was not something he'd ever want you to go through. luckily, there was an older nurse who was more than happy to take over. she must of been in her 60s. she followed Pedro back to your room and introduced herself to you. already the atmosphere had changed, she was so sweet to both of you and there was definitely no judgement coming from her.

"y/n, i think because you've been stuck at 7cm for the past two hours you go for a little walk around the ward, it doesn't have to be a long one but it could speed this up a bit and it also means you don't have to be stuck in this room" Mary, the new nurse said to you with a smile. she left you and Pedro alone and with that you both started walking around the maternity ward, hoping that this would finally speed up the process and will allow you both to finally meet your baby.

-

"that's it y/n you're doing absolutely amazing, keep that push" Pedro was holding your left leg and looking at his baby being born. you let go of the push and let your head fall back onto the pillow for a second just so you could catch your breath. "well done sweetheart" you heard Pedro say as you felt a small kiss on your forehead.

"and again y/n, push with this next contraction. well done" you heard Mary say as you pushed as hard as you could through the pain, groaning and the pain became almost unbearable. "that's it sweetheart, keep going" he was still holding your leg but was now by you, comforting you as you pushed. "okay stop pushing sweetie, that was amazing pushing y/n, i can see the head" Mary smiled and your heart swelled at the thought of your baby being here any second.

"okay, another contraction coming, give this one a big push y/n. this will probably be your last one" and as soon as that contraction came, your chin was to your chest as you pushed. you groaned as you felt your baby finally coming out. Pedro was now up again, wanting to see his baby come into the world. as soon as you heard that loud cry coming from your baby, instant tears started falling down both yours and Pedro's cheeks.

"you did it baby, i'm so proud of you" he said, tears rolling down his face as he kissed you passionately. "congratulations you two, it's a girl" Mary quickly put the baby on your chest and you looked down at this beautiful bundle of joy. Pedro thought he could never love anything more than he loved you, but as soon as he set eyes on his daughter his love for her grew, no words could describe how much he loved her.

"hi my angel, it's so nice to finally meet you" you whispered to her as you gently grabbed ahold of her tiny hand. she was beautiful. utterly perfect. Mary took your baby to the other side of the room where she would be weighed and would have all the regular checks any baby had, leaving you and Pedro alone. you moved over in the bed, allowing him to lay down next to you and as soon as he did he pulled you into his embrace.

"thank you" you heard him whisper as a few small kisses were planted on your forehead. he was grateful, grateful that you'd you went through this entire pregnancy and carried your baby, grateful that you'd chosen to do this with him and grateful that you'd grown your baby and now she was here with you both, where she belonged.

you looked up at him and saw that his tears hadn't stopped, they were still flowing freely down his flushed cheeks. you reached your hand up to wipe the tear streaks and smiled. "you don't have to thank me-" "no i do. you have done so much these past 9 months and i'm so grateful for that. i could have never done what you have and and i'm just really really lucky" he said, leaning down to kiss you again.

after a few short minutes of it being just the two of you, Mary brought over a wrapped up bundle of joy who was looking around the room with her dough eyes. "8 ibs and 6 Oz. she's really healthy. i'm going to leave you two alone for a while to give you time to adjust but just ring the buzzer if you need anything. again congratulations, she's absolutely beautiful" after she passed you your baby, you both said thank you and watched as she left the room.

"she's got so much hair" you whispered as you looked down at her, running your hand carefully over the top of her head. she was the most precious thing you'd ever seen. Pedro watched the two of you together, he had never in his left felt like this. he just felt pure love and adoration for the two of you. "she looks just like you baby, she's so beautiful" he kissed your forehead and let his hand stroke her cheek. this was love and he was so excited for the journey ahead.

#fanfiction #imagines #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal requests #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal x fem!reader #dad!pedro pascal

[dist0rt1on]

SAMPO KOSKI: FOOL'S DISCOVERY

Synopsis: How you helped a fool realize his own feelings.

> Pairings: Sampo Koski x Gn!Reader

> Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst and Hurt-Comfort???

> Contents: Sampo being a part of The Masked Fools, backstory of your relationship with him, confessions, mostly ooc i guess? No proofread btw im sleepy

> Words: 3.8k

> A/N: Sorry if it's not rlly accurate to Sampo i just have a lot of 'what ifs' with him and this got birthed ig

Sampo Koski is everyone's friend. A charismatic, humorous, cunning man. He's certainly a hot topic in all areas. Though, everyone around him views him as a skilled-yet-idiotic criminal. Or... maybe that's what Sampo himself wants them to think. After all, he tells himself every day that people like him are better suited to be shadowy comic reliefs anyway. Even so, no one knows how the gears behind his brain work.

Sampo Koski is a silver-tongued 'salesman' and an eloquent mercenary. He holds so much information that makes it so hard for people to not approach him for help. With the right price, he's willing to do all sorts of jobs for his lovely customers. Though, he isn't afraid of betraying his customer if he were to get paid on a higher price for it. You can't blame him, can you? Living in the underworld itself isn't easy. You gotta be willing to accept the opportunity for some extra cash if you want to survive.

Sampo Koski is a common enemy. Despite how much conflict Belobog's regions has over the years, most of the citizens in both overworld and underworld would agree that they share a similar distaste for the bi-haired man himself.

Lastly, Sampo Koski is a fool. A following fool who also thinks that the world is a joke. Just like a drama, or a soap opera that runs every day to be witnessed by the people in the audience's seats. No matter how endless the pain and suffering became, it could always be shoved away by laughter. Joy eliminates pain, after all. Laughter is a God-given right to avoid pain. Or so he heard.

Days would usually pass by just like night and day. Except you can't really see the 'day' on the underworld. Business after business through the years, he never thought of having to love someone. Not to mention someone even loving him in the first place. Though, that mindset shattered when he met you. Or specifically, after he spent so much time with you.

You two met in one of the underworld's desolate alleyways. You, who were mistaken as Sampo's anonymous customer, were trying to find some peace. Gazing upon the ceiling with wonder. 'How many more years are we supposed to endure all the suffering in the underworld before the fragmentum consumes us all?' You sigh sadly.

That thought was quickly replaced with a sense of caution after hearing faint footsteps coming your way. You turn your head in that direction, noticing a certain bi-haired man of your age with a sweet smile on his face and a waving hand.

"Hello, dearest customer! You must be the anonymous fella who asked for my services, I assume?" He approached you with his signature, charming smile. Which made you look up to him in response .

"Huh? You must've gotten the wrong person, buddy. Never called anyone for some services. Sorry..." You responded, albeit a bit confused about the salesman's arrival.

Just by your tone and expression alone, he could confirm that you were telling him the truth. Yet, he's not done with you yet. It's simple, he wants to lure you into becoming his customer too. He wants to make a profit in every corner. It's in his natural 'salesman' instincts, after all. But... there's just something about you that scratches his mind. Oh well, he can deal with it later.

"Sorry about that! The name's Sampo Koski. If you ever need someone to take care of things for you... Sampo Koski is the man for the job, who's at your service." He winks at you 'innocently'.

Though, you weren't oblivious to these types of people.

"Ah... so you're that type of businessman, arent you?" You raise an eyebrow, to which the man responded with a chuckle.

"As I said, All sorts of business are welcomed — as long as you've got the cash." He gives you a sly grin.

He saw you opening your mouth to respond to him in a brief second. Yet, before you could mutter something out, familiar marching noises filled the area from both sides of the alleyway.

...Damn Vagrants. They were surrounding the area with their weapons raised at you two. In the middle of the ambush, a masked man turned out to be the leader of said Vagrants.

By their similar physique and posture, Sampo could easily confirm that the leader is the same man who anonymously asked for his services in the first place.

Sampo himself knew that there was a possibility of this happening, but eh. He's a man who'll take any opportunity at any given moment. But he needs some entertainment too. He'd be lying if he told himself that he wasn't amused by this capture or murder attempt.

The masked man began to blabber as unprofessionally as one could blabber. Openly explaining their plans to the two while thinking that they'll be able to kill you two easily while also thinking that you play a part in the 'businesses' yourself.

By the leader's naivety, Sampo would listen intently and imagine a better scenario of said plan. But he chose to ignore the leader and decided to look in your direction.

Ah, you were trembling from head to toe. Fear and confusion wash your face as you try to get into a defensive state.

Living in the underworld for years, of course, you've learned basic self-defense to protect yourself from danger. But against more than one vagrant who has their weapons up and ready to knock the daylights over you at any moment? You cant- you won't stand a chance against them. Not without a weapon. Not without wielding an element.

'What the... hell's happening...?' You thought, panicking over the situation you accidentally got yourself into.

Sampo Koski is a man who'd rather flee before things get rougher than it already is. Unless he had no other choice. When people who targeted him managed to find or corner him, he'd usually try to charm them with his presence. Then using their confusion as the opening of his escape to flee the scene and leave the problems to the nearest bystanders. If there were any.

But this time, it was different. He didn't instantly come up with a plan to flee. Instead, he was focused on you. But why?

Because of your innocent look that was quickly washed away by your fear? No, that's not it... He thinks.

Because of your pitiful state? It could be? But... was that really the problem? Because...

He doesn't understand.

He can't wrap his head around this unfamiliar feeling.

Fleeing was always the best option for him. But for some reason, everything inside himself was telling him to not leave the poor bystander alone.

Why? He never had second thoughts before fleeing the scene before.

...

Maybe... Sampo Koski himself... had taken an interest in you. Yes, that must be it.

And helping you would certainly lead you to his debt. And Sampo wouldn't mind that. He'd be delighted.

"Hey- Were you even listening to me...!?" The leader shouted in an offended tone due to Sampo ignoring all his speech. But Sampo didn't seem to care this time around.

Instead, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder in a swift motion. Pulling you close as he whispers to your ear.

"Close your eyes and hold your breath. Trust me, okay?" He whispers in a soft tone.

Maybe because you were desperate to survive in this current situation that you did what he told you to do. Your body slowly tenses up as you close your eyes and hold your breath. He slowly removed his hold on you and pulls away as he pulls out some tricks up his sleeve.

Even if your vision was currently replaced by a dark void, it didn't stop you from hearing the chaos around you.

You could feel movements from Sampo's side as you could hear him throwing a few items into the ground.

"What the...? Is this... a bomb...!?"

"N-no... Its... they're smoke bombs...!"

"Gah-...! Everyone, stand... down...!"

You hear your attackers panic as they one by one lose their consciousness and fall to the ground.

Sampo approached the powerless leader who had lost his balance and gave him a shit-eating grin as he looked down at him.

"Wow, you really surprised the Sampo Koski with that ambush. As for the return, I decided to give you a surprise of my own~ How'dya like it?" He chuckles.

The leader gritted his teeth. "Y-You bastard... You'll pay... for this..." he threatens Sampo before losing consciousness completely.

Sampo then hurriedly rushed to your side and grabbed your trembling arm. "Let's go now, friend. You better keep up if you don't want to be left behind~"

Before you could even respond, he runs off from the alleyway with you.

Finally residing in a safe spot, Sampo carefully lets go of your arm. "Are you hurt, friend?" He asked as he sees you calm down.

"Sampo, was it? I... can't thank you enough for helping me escape from that. Even though I was just a passerby who got into your situation." You sigh.

"But... Is there anything I can repay you with...? I don't have a lot of cash on me, but when I do... I'll definitely pay you back though... I-I'm sorry..." You looked away. Hoping that the man in front of you won't be disappointed and decides to kill you after knowing you can't pay him back right at this moment.

Sampo chuckles as he looks at you in amusement. "Don't worry, you could still pay me back, ya'know?"

You set your eyes on him again, raising an eyebrow. "What...? But I told you I don't have much cash on me... Unless... gh...! You're not gonna do something to me, are you...!?" You point at the man in accusation. Sweating over the fact that he might do unimaginable things to you.

He quickly places a finger in front of your lips. "Ah, shushushushush... Don't paint me as a greedy and disrespectful businessman, friend. I, Sampo Koski, am still a gentleman with a heart. I was wondering if you could take up an offer instead." He pulled his gloved finger away from your lips.

"That is...?" You await his words as you see him extend his hand.

"Why don't we become business partners, hmm? You look like an interesting fella. I can't help but think that there's more to you than what meets the eye." He started to say.

"I'll deal with most of the things out there while you deal with other crucial things while hidden in the background. Ah, don't worry. We'll split the payment to our agreement. So how about it? Do you accept this offer?"

Any sane person in the underworld wouldn't trust his offer unless they were desperate. But usually, they'd harshly reject his offers. That's why... he was really surprised when you instantly placed your hands in his with no hesitation at all.

"Alright. You look like a fun guy to be with, and I bet you got a lot of surprises huh? I guess it won't hurt to become business partners with you." You smirk as if you weren't terrified a few minutes ago.

"You bet. I won't let you down, so you better do your best, partner." He smiles as you two shake hands in agreement.

That was the day you and the infamous Sampo Koski meet. Ever since that day, you did different kinds of jobs with him.

At first, the two of you were nothing but business partners. He informs you of a mission, and you help him from the shadows, split the pay, and part ways.

But the more you two started working together, the closer you two became. And now, even after the business itself was settled, you'll kill your boring ol' time to spend your day with him.

Like watching a fierce boxing match in the fight club while cheering for your favorite fighters.

"Huh... both of them are so tough! I'm still wondering how robots are qualified for a boxing match, but whatever. Beat him up, Mechanical Master!" You cheer for your favorite fighter.

You could hear Sampo laughing next to you. "In your dreams, partner. Greyback Whale's the much stronger one between them!"

"Buuut we gotta be real now, don't we? I'm a much better fighter than anyone from the fight club~ You've witnessed it yourself, yeah?" He winks with a sense of pride as you snorted in response.

"Yeah, yeah... I guess I gotta admit you're way faster and stronger than them, huh? How fierce and mighty of you, Mr. Sampo~ I might need an autograph from you one day." You playfully stick your tongue out as you tease him. Sampo responds with a playful smirk.

Or you'd spend the day with him by taking a stroll in the mines. Well... a little bit annoying when the two of you have a 50% chance of getting attacked by vagrants, fragmentum creatures, or even robots. But it's nice to back him up on a fight once in a while.

"Hey, partner! Wanna see how fast I could knock them out with these babies alone?" He cockily twirls his daggers as he focuses his eyes on the surrounding enemies.

"Hmm... sure. Knock them out in under 10 seconds, and ill fight alongside you if we have any business for the day." You challenged the man.

In a blink of an eye, you see his daggers getting thrown at the enemies. It was almost a blur. You looked in awe as you witness daggers flying as swiftly as the wind, knocking out enemies with their single touch.

The group of enemies didn't even last 5 seconds as those daggers finally return to the hands of their master. "3.5 seconds. Now, you were saying?"

"Hah, you never fail to surprise me... do you?"

You and Sampo became inseparable. You two were like puzzle pieces who complete each other.

Sampo is the strength and the brain. The active mercenary in his business who deals with all the fights and the talk.

Meanwhile you, you were the heart. The vigilant partner who usually tends to Sampo's wounds if he was unlucky enough to get them.

For a doctor, Natasha's treatments are of a much better quality. But Sampo couldn't help it. No matter how light or brutal the wounds were, he always ends up wanting to get treated in your care.

"Gah... good thing I patched you up just in time... You were on the blink of collapsing, you know...? Don't be so reckless with yourself!" You scold the man as you try to patch the smaller cuts on his arm.

"Should I just call Dr. Natasha to treat you...? I don't think I'm doing a good job on this..."

"No, no. You don't need to. You're doing a great job, okay? And sorry... I was a bit unlucky this time. But I promise I'll be more careful next time, haha." He reassured you with a weak smile.

It was a nice feeling though, Sampo thought. Even if you were scolding him plenty of times, he always notices your careful hands as you patched him up. Him knowing that you hoped your touch won't hurt Sampo more than he already is.

Even if Sampo has a quite friendly demeanor on him, he never lets his guard down. Even to the people he trusts. But there's one thing he noticed...

He started to let his guard down over the time when you two were alone. Relaxing his body to the fullest.

It felt weird at first, Sampo admits. But he quickly came to an acceptable conclusion.

Sampo Koski had developed a soft spot for you.

Now finally, the present. As of today, the blockade between the underworld and the overworld had been lifted by the help of the trailblazers from beneath the sky. It was a miracle, really. You almost couldn't believe it.

Due to Sampo's part in helping them as well, he gets a temporary pass to walk on the overworld's ground freely without any guards arresting him.

He would've used this opportunity to sneakily gain some extra cash, but he decided to go against that idea.

Not when you looked at him with those sparkling eyes. Telling him that you wanted to explore the place and the sceneries with him. And so he did.

But he never expected this one particular day.

The day you asked him to meet up with you somewhere in the overworld's administrative district.

You, holding out a cheap, single-flower bouquet for him only. Muttering multiple things he can't seem to catch. But from where this is going, he knew. By his body language that told you that he was caught off-guard, he knew what's gonna happen next.

You, looking deep into his eyes, as you successfully have the courage to tell him how you feel towards him

"I love you, Sampo Koski. I really do."

There you stood, red-faced as you closed your eyes shut. Getting ready to return some comebacks of your own when he gives you a flurry of his teases.

...

What you expected didn't come.

You slowly opened your eyes to a sight you never thought you would see one day.

The Sampo Koski you know... was also standing there red-faced. But... his eyes widened, and tears slowly fall to his cheeks.

Sampo Koski is a man who knows what love is, but had yet to experience it. Well, maybe he did. But after years of getting disliked or even despised by many people in the country he resides in, even if he were to blame for that, he began to gradually forget what 'love' or 'warmth' means to him.

But today, you had easily told him the specific word and answer to his own conflicted feelings about you.

'I love you, Sampo Koski.'

'Love.'

...

"H-Hey... not that I doubt it or anything, but... Do I... even deserve this kinda thing...?" He tries to maintain his playful tone, but his cracked voice quickly ruined it in an instant.

Sampo Koski is a man who usually denies his negative feelings. Every time he gets sad, hurt, angry, or many other things, he always brushes it away and laughs it off as if it was a laughing matter, to begin with. Unconsciously straying him from his understanding of his own emotions.

No, his usual playful, cunning, charismatic attitude isn't a facade or some sort. It's just Sampo being Sampo. It's just that his mindset of joy diluting all sorrow was making him unconsciously bottle up all that pain.

He always knew that the universe is merciless, but he prefers choosing the path of laughing it off. It was the guidance he got, after all. But was it because of amusement or denial? Who knows...

He is a masked fool, after all.

But your sudden confession had shattered that bottle of his. Many of his mixed emotions were scattered in his mind. Starting to swirl around his surroundings. He was getting overwhelmed.

'Why? Im an awful man. I don't deserve your love. Your kindness.'

'You deserve better.'

'So why me?'

'Why me?'

...

"Of course, you deserve this. You deserve everything, honestly. Thanks to you, I've never been so happy in my entire life. And... I know we spend our days together, but I want to share a much closer bond with you. Because... I've never loved someone this much before. You deserve my love, Sampo. And you'll always do." Your lips curved up into a sweet smile as Sampo looks at you in shock.

Sampo Koski is jealous of you. Envious that you had managed to tell or identify your feelings he's been struggling with so easily.

But you looked so beautiful at that moment. Your genuine, kind smile and your flowing hair matching the rhythm of the wind. The sun's warm light favors you and your beautiful presence alone.

You then lowered the arm that was holding the bouquet. "But, it's okay. I get it if you're not ready yet. Whatever the outcome, ill accept it. Just don't let it ruin our friendship, okay? I'll be waiting for your answer. Once you're ready, okay?" You turn around, getting ready to leave so you could give him some space.

...

"Don't you fucking dare..."

"Huh?" Before you could turn around to see him again, you felt arms wrapping around your waist from behind you. Holding you tight as if you were about to disappear from his very life.

"Don't you dare leave me here... especially after saying that..." he begs in a soft tone.

...

Sampo rests his head on your shoulder. "...I love you too. Even if things were hell down there, hoping to see you every time I woke up in the morning... gave me a reason to keep going. No matter how hard things became, you never left my side... And... I'm so grateful for all that... You're so... precious... to me..."

Sampo finally gets it. The differences in his feelings before you came into his life, and after.

Once, the man wandered the world on his own. With both worlds having a distaste in him while laughing in a sense he used to call 'joy'. Never letting his guard down on every corner, even on his own 'home'.

But when you came into his pitiful life, he started laughing with you. Not in a sense of that so-called joy he once believed could wash away all pain and suffering, but in a sense of comfort and warmth. You had sneaked your way into his heart and made it your home. His home.

He twirled your body around to face him. Tears were still in his eyes as he sniffles on his snot. But still, a big smile was present on his face.

"Hah... Thank you, my dear... Thank you for everything... Mhm... So, are we officially together now...?" He looks at you with that usual goofy grin.

"Of course! Ah... I love you so much...!" You were also trembling with joy as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Looking up to him with the same sense of affection.

"Too bad." He smirks as he leans closer to your ear. "You might say that you love me. But I love you more, my love." He whispers.

Sampo Koski is a man who wants to be loved, and to love back. And with the opportunity you gave him, he'll never waste his chance. He hasn't told it directly to your face, but he vows to protect your life, your heart, everything.

"*sniff* You know... I would kiss you right now, but... I'd rather have our first kiss at a more... romantic moment." He gently presses his lips to your forehead as you giggle in response.

"Saving that for our first date, huh... Pretty boy?" Your cheeks started to warm up more.

"Maybe, maybe not... Who knows?" He coos as he carefully strokes your hair. Kissing your cheek as you hum softly.

Maybe... he could send his final regards to the guys and girls at the tavern to run away with you, one day. He hopes.

_________________________________________

#diswrites🗑🔥 #sampo x reader #sampo koski x reader #sampo x you #sampo koski #hsr sampo #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr fluff #fluff #slight angst #hurt/comfort #i feel a little silly #im gonna explode #ok just reread this and fuck its not really sampo ish #first writing pls enjoy (not)

[zapsoda]

"what is a crush?" is such a fascinating question to explore why dont we talk about this more. like just for funsies. it feels like such a vast and ill defined concept yet many of us seem to have at least somewhat of an agreement on what it means.

in my mind. and my experience. a crush is when you like someone a lot. more than you like other people you like. this does not necessarily mean romantically. i entirely believe in platonic feelings of this variety. i think some people call those squishes but i think thats even stupider than the word crush, personally.

anyways. to elaborate. the effect is like a high. from my understanding. i dont really get out. in their vicinity your heart rate goes up. you get nervous. but not in the way that you feel nervous before going into an interview or walking on a glass bridge, its like when youre getting seated on a roller coaster just before it takes off.

it is exactly like being in the line of sight of a monster in a survival horror game.

except the monster is a person.

despite this, you might be a bit more impulsive. its entirely contradictory, its illogical, yet you push to worsen that anxiety. maybe you will talk to that person. maybe you will sit a little closer.

you have this gnawing, desperate, urge to put yourself in the way of danger. against all signs of danger, you want to get closer.

because every time you do this you have the chance of getting a sweet shot of dopamine. maybe they looked your way and werent visibly repulsed. maybe they waved to you. maybe they said hi. maybe even they spoke to you, like a normal human being.

the thrill is addictive. something about this person and the danger your brain tries so desperately to tell you that they put you in makes you fall deeper and deeper.

you start thinking about them when they arent around. you wonder what theyre doing. you wonder what they think of you. you wonder if its possible that maybe, just maybe, they dont even utterly abhor you. its a scandalous thought. whats next, youll be planning the wedding? yeah, maybe.

slowly, it takes over your brain. what was once a passing interest, now consumes many of your waking thoughts. you cant go too long without another hit. you cant see your future without it. without them.

your fantasies become more extreme. what would maximize the thrill and the rush. maybe if you touched hands, maybe if you got them to laugh, maybe if you stayed a little longer.

see, your brain builds up a tolerance to it. each moment, each high period overwhelms your neurons, it requires more and more just to satisfy your craving.

now youve fallen in. hook, line, and sinker.

thats just my experience though, id love to hear what other people have to say on the matter.

[overplannedbutunnamednpc]

Things You Said When 1, 4, 18, 25 for Clover ☘️💛

and More........ because we're so fucking normal about them.

this IS just fanfiction so bekah gets to read about Them. but i also wanted to write about them. its called mutualism.

yall who are playing DONT READ!!! idk if theres spoilers i'm not bothering keeping explicit spoilers out of here (writing this before I write all of em). but if yall arent playing dia with us check it out. these guys are sooooooo . rachel knows. rebekah knows. if yall wanna know and youre NOT in their game. come hither....... welcome to my maze..... and then dm me about it. directors commentary etc

Clover

1. Things you said before you knew any better

Honeybee's hair is softer than Clover knew someone's hair could actually be.

It's not that it's actually feathers, because Clover has felt Honeybee's feathers, and they're soft, yeah, but they don't feel like hair or anything. Even the ones that tuft up around his ears don't feel like hair, so it's not just that Honeybee has hair that's all feather vane, or vane that’s all hair. His hair's just really fucking soft.

Clover knows this, because Clover has been playing with it for a half an hour, mostly marveling.

It's not the shampoo he uses. Clover's used that, stole it even though it's the good stuff all the way from Waterdeep and Honeybee complains about it whenever he notices that the bottles run out twice as fast as they used to. Well, it's technically Clover's shower, so Clover's calling them even.

His head’s lolled back to rest on their knee, and though they shouldn’t be letting him sit on the floor in case it aggravates his bum leg, they’ve said nothing yet. They’ll help him up when they’re ready to move. One day they’ll actually go to bed at a reasonable hour. The night is stretching long and dark and quiet before them, though, and its temptation is as real tonight as Honeybee’s loose-limbed relaxation, as it’s always been. So tonight might not be that night.

Gods above and so below, they need a deep-clean.

They just need to clean him out of the creases of their brain, where he stuck like - well, like honey, in the niches of its comb. Someone needs to take a good handful of steel wool and lye and pluck the troublesome organ from between their ears and cleanse them of Honeybee.

That, or Honeybee needs to stop - it was a couple of things. It was a list of things, little things, things Clover is better off forgetting just for now, things like the little crease by his eyes, the lopsidedness of his smile, the - the stupid tattoo that peeked out the back of all of his shirts, right at the perfect spot to place their hand on the back of his neck, and the way that when they do give into the temptation to handle him there, he actually relaxes into it, like he's been waiting for the callous on their thumb to swipe over the knob of his vertebrae at his nape, every time.

They don’t mind it, sometimes, the anticipation of it. They’re fairly assured it was anticipation, anyway, but the two of them have a lot to do together that, quite frankly, Clover would be distracted from if their choices were between “cold night of surveillance” and “warm night in bed with Honeybee”. There’s only so much delayed gratification one person can take, and they’ve delayed it long enough that they are fairly sure if they broke now it would not be a temporary issue of distraction.

So, they can wait.

At least tonight isn’t a cold night of surveillance, or they would both be being very derelict in duty indeed.

That reminds them.

"Honeybee?"

"Mm?" Maybe they were wrong about not getting to bed at a reasonable hour. Honeybee sounds as if he’d been dozing a little. Whoops. Maybe they’ll carry him to bed, make up for it.

"Will you come with me, to my mother’s?"

The question rouses Honeybee a bit, makes him move to twist and look at them properly. They let his hair go to allow the movement, then twine their fingers back into his hair in a loose fist, because he’s suddenly between their knees facing them and they need to control that situation quickly, before they either throw all their musings about anticipation to the wayside or get distracted from the question they are asking or both.

"Really?"

Clover nods. "She wants to meet you, and—" They pause, considering their words, thumb rubbing over the section of soft hair it’s found itself over. "You’re… a part of my life now. You should come."

Honeybee looks a little skeptical. "And… Luckey?"

The right question to ask. Clover shrugs, though. "I agree with you, about Ult’s people. Half of them must have left by now, and he hasn’t made any real moves in a bit. I don’t think there’s much for them to do right now. Especially with practically no one here anymore." Ultiss was a bit… smug, every time they saw him now, his eyes always lingering on them too long, but that doesn’t change the fact that he hasn’t been doing anything, and there’s only… four? five? of them left in town. "They might come back, but… I haven’t really seen anything that worries me, and you said you didn’t either, so… yes. Come with me. Let’s take a break."

Honeybee brightens, incrementally. This is another thing he does that sticks in Clover’s head. The way he brightens up like a cloud’s revealed the sun on a spring day. It’s too deep into winter for there to be any more flowers, but the ones Clover did put on him seemed to refuse to wilt for longer than they should, probably for exactly this reason. Waiting for the sun. Clover’s always waiting for it, and Honeybee never disappoints.

4. Things you said instead of “I love you”

This is actually a pretty shitty room.

Not the worst inn room Clover’s ever stayed in, but not top thirty, certainly. Probably not even top fifty. Definitely not nice enough to justify the amount of coin Clover had forked over for it.

Probably because I was tipsy. Or maybe it was that obvious how bad I wanted a single. That’s a bit embarrassing.

Well, not as much anymore. Honeybee saw through the single room thing, too. He didn’t seem to mind.

Honeybee.

Clover is playing it cool. At least as much as one can when still… sticky, because they and Honeybee had just.

Don’t freak out about that.

It was a good thing! They never thought otherwise. Months of buildup and they had, actually, made good on it. And it was good. Shit, it was good. Months of buildup were perhaps worth the late lone nights type of good.

It is new, though, for sure. Good-new, yeah, despite the shitty room and clumsy attempt to manufacture intimacy, regardless of the fact that it worked.

How many seconds is us recovering before it becomes us just not talking?

Not a question they know how to answer. Honeybee's face is tucked into the crook of their neck, and he's not, like, lying down, but this could definitely go to cuddling if they shifted a little bit and he went to his side. That's a good sign, hopefully.

Okay. Talk. You've caught your breath. He needs to know this wasn't just- and you need to know he's not just drunk.

They swallow. "That was."

Honeybee nods against their neck.

They chuckle, mostly just to get rid of the post-coital nervous energy. "Yeah."

Honeybee draws away. The curtains in the room aren't drawn, so there's only a little bit of light in the room, and Clover's darkvision softens him into shades of gray. His hair is bright white, reflective even with barely any light to do so with, and the honey of his skin has gone rich-dark gray, and whatever spark that lives in those eyes of his fixes down on Clover, who can't help the smile, because he is gorgeous. His neck's a little bruised - their fault, but they're not apologizing - and his breathing's still a little fast, and when they lick their lips, his eyes flick down to them.

We can kiss now.

The realization is a very welcome one. They actually sit up slightly for it, which would make Honeybee shift to move away and give them room if they didn't also grab the back of his hair and pull him down to kiss them again. Then again.

Because they haven't actually talked, they keep the number to only three before releasing him. He doesn't go far, though, and they incentivize as much by running a wondering hand up one of his thighs to a hip. He has such nice hip bones. And collar bones. And the bones in his wrist don't lose him any points, either. If they keep up the having-sex-with-each-other thing, they'll almost certainly find some other parts of his anatomy to have new appreciation for. In many ways, they already have, though that appreciation can't be called aesthetic at all quite yet.

Talk. Talk.

Unsure if they're ordering themselves or Honeybee, Clover complies anyway. "I hope you had expectations, because that far exceeded mine."

"Oh, yeah," Honeybee replies, then pauses. “That’s- you mean you had high expectations and I still exceeded them, right?”

Clover chuckles. “Yes. Great expectations, still surpassed.” They start rubbing their thumb over their favorite spot on Honeybee’s hip, where the tattoo is. “I…”

You should probably say it. This would be the time. You’ve been biting it back for how long? This is a good time.

It would be, that’s true. Honeybee’s breathing’s evened a little now that they’ve exchanged words, but he hasn’t moved from above them, and they can’t tell exactly where he’s looking without his eyes moving in response to stimuli they give him, so they lick their lips. His eyes flick down a bit. He was looking them in the eyes, then. Well, no longer.

Don’t get distracted. Tell him.

“I should-” Tell him. Tell him. I love you, just like that. “I wasn’t planning on this happening when I suggested the trip, so you know.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t- planning on anything when I suggested the dinner.”

“I’m glad you did.” Tell him.

“Me too.” Honeybee smiles. He’s beautiful like this. Which is why they should tell him.

The cuckoo clock down the hall starts squawking. Clover has no sense of what time it is, starts to count the chimes to figure out how long they've been wrapped up in Honeybee, how long they might still get to be.

One. Two. Three. Tell him.

It would be easier without darkvision, maybe. They can still see the details of him. Even better, now, because there's coming a glow through the room window. Red-orange looks good on Honeybee, lights up the gold of his skin. Thank you, whoever just lit that fire outside.

Six. Seven. Eight. Tell him, now. Now, Clover. Ten.

"I've- been thinking about that, though, for a while," Clover says, all in a rush.

Honeybee says, too, overlapping chatter, "I think I should-"

They both fall silent. Clover counts eleven, twelve and, when Honeybee makes a gesture to give them the floor, instead, they do not let themself wonder about what he thinks he should be doing, and instead plow ahead, forcing their nerves to steel rather than shake. "I just wanted to say, I-"

And then-

BOOM

somewhere in the distance. Clover sits up, immediately on the defensive. Their sword's always right by the bed, so they just need to find where Honeybee put their pants.

“What the fuck was that?”

18. Things you said that were a promise you intended to keep

Luckey, perhaps predictably, didn't actually have that much going on in it.

It was a small town - Clover could count the number of people that lived here in a slow afternoon if everyone was at home. They numbered around two hundred or so. Enough that, at least if they were looking at faces, Clover could name everyone in town.

That made it very strange to come across this.

They practically tripped over the man. It wasn't their fault. It was raining, and they were carrying wood and the man was small and on the ground, so it certainly wasn't all their fault. Their foot caught on his form, and Clover stumbled, one of the switches they were carrying clattering to the ground and making them flinch. "I'm sorry, I wasn't - oh. Are you okay?"

They switched immediately from apology to concern when they saw the state the man is in. His face was bloodied, and that was saying nothing of what might've been going on under the clothes he was wearing - they weren't really able to tell, medicine wasn't their strong suit. "I'm sorry, let me get a look at you. I'm Clover."

They set down the wood they were carrying and got to their knees to give him a cursory inspection. He had clearly been beaten up, which drew a frown across Clover's face.

The man seemed a little out of it, and blinked wide eyes at Clover. His jaw worked slowly. "S- Sehonivee-Haien. Charmed."

Bit of a mouthful, Clover thought. With his feathery ears, they had to wonder if he was an aasimar, too, with one of the names like their mom, long enough to gain someone importance. Not exactly a polite question, though, not while he was bleeding on the ground, so they just gave him a smile. "Charmed. Can you stand?"

Sehonivee-Haien's face twisted. "Jury's out."

"Alright. Here," Clover said, and pressed a hand to the side of his face. There was practically nothing divine still left in them, but they could still force whatever spark was still there into a bit of healing, which could be the difference between life and death, sometimes. Or, in this case, the difference between standing and walking, and getting tripped over in a sidestreet. "Okay, let's try it."

They stood, offering him a hand. He hesitated, but took it, and Clover hauled him up as gently as the verb "hauling" allowed. He ended up on his feet, anyway, though he was a little newborn deer about it. Clover took care of that with a steadying arm around his back, which, definitely hurt a broken rib or two from the way he hissed in pain.

“Sorry,” Clover said. “But it’ll hurt more if you fall.”

“Hurts pretty bad now,” he replied, with a grin shot through plenty with pain. They were pretty good at reading people, but really didn’t have to be, to see that much.

They gave him a smile right back. He deserved it. This was their town, and the fact that he had gotten beaten half to death on their watch? It spurred at something ugly in Clover's chest, something angry enough for them to show teeth. Even if that was accompanied by upturned lips. "My home isn't far. You'll be safe there."

Somehow, this man had the widest eyes Clover had ever seen, never mind the fact that one of them was already swelling shut.

Clover's version of healing was not very divine. At least they could be fairly assured that he wasn't bleeding internally on them.

"Are you- are you sure? I'm not... I don't want to bring anything to your door, if someone has something against me..." Oh, he was so worried.

Clover patted his cheek. "Hey. Hey, look at me.” He did. He had very striking eyes. “You- You're not getting hurt again, okay? Not on my watch."

It was a promise they meant. A promise they kept.

Mostly.

Mostly, except for that - that little scar.

But that—that was a very different promise.

25. Things you said that you still think about today

It was a joke.

Or, okay. Not a joke, because if Honey had actually asked, Clover might have done it. At least given it due consideration. That was not saying much, because Clover would have done pretty much anything Honey asked, back then, and they weren't going to consider how much they'd do for him if he asked even today, but.

Anyway.

It wasn't serious. Clover didn't think so, anyway, and they weren't about to ask Honey now if he ever meant it when he said they should go off and live somewhere else. He was a big-city sort, or so he said, and Clover was no stranger to cities, so it wasn't like they couldn't make it work.

He was pacing the kitchen—he was restless some mornings, just like this. Clover didn’t know why back then, just accepted it as a quirk of his to sometimes be soothed away. Now, of course, Clover had connected his restlessness to the mornings he had left late last night or early that morning, presumably playing his part in whatever part of their lives was real rather than the fiction they’d created.

“Maybe we could leave Luckey sometime,” he suggested, apropos of nothing. Clover fetched a mug for their morning coffee, kept an eye on him.

"What, run away together?" they asked, after a second of observing his behavior. He was restless, certainly. Small-town fever, they thought. People got it. Not Clover, but people. “Or do you mean more of a day trip?”

He looked over at them, and allowed himself a smile. “Well, what do you think?”

“Of running away together?” Clover poured themself a cup. They wanted to give him the benefit of clear consideration. “I think it’s ultimately unnecessary. We’d have to be running from something, by definition.”

“Ult’s guys,” Honey suggested.

Clover added cream to the cup, still taking Honey seriously. They had thought he was a coward, back then, tiptoed kindly around his caution. He had, after all, still borne the scars of their treatment—did, actually, to this day, so perhaps that was not all act—and they thought that his caution was a boon, making them more thoughtful. “I’m not convinced they’d follow us. Not running away from anything, that way.”

Honey hummed. Paced some more. “Okay, but. It’s kind of? Small?”

Clover nodded. “Two hundred or so.”

“Yeah, so. Small.” Honey nodded to himself. “That doesn’t… you like that? You’ll like that forever? What if some people here end up sucking?”

“Depends how much they suck,” Clover said, after another pause to make sure his question had been given its due consideration. “People here right now do suck. I’m still here.”

“Forever?”

Clover shrugged again. And then, in a moment of what wasn’t irony but certainly couldn’t be anything else, said, “It’s a sweet thought, Honeybee, but I’ll be honest… Luckey will have to have burned before I’d leave it.”

Honey had given a half smile and sat down. “Well. That’s not happening anytime soon.”

Satisfied with the answer and with the fact that Honey had actually gotten his ass in a chair, Clover sat with him and reached across the table so they could squeeze his hand in theirs. “We can still go on a day trip.”

It was a strange thing, the fact that they were so assured that he would stay right there with them, looking back on it. Honey did, of course—he slept in the next room, though far from Luckey—but they did wonder. If they never left Luckey, where would Honey be? Still sitting at that table?

The what-if and what-is suspends there, in their mind. They try to be self-disciplined about these things. The memory pauses right there, fingers touching their Honeybee’s, and palms not yet met.

#clover #the baebees #really inundating this blog with them lately fjhdskfhsd #theyre just good. SORRY #sometimes these things need to be somewhere other than discord dms. you understand #also sharp eyed readers (rebekah) may notice some parallels with a certain rp from 2018 in the promise one. btw. #ALSO I used the book canon and not the movie canon for the sex scene. so they could talk.

[ethans-stars]

Also rivals to lovers!!

LOSING MY MIND BECAUSE I HAD A DREAM ABOUT THAT?

before i post the drawing to your other ask, let me explain the dream (the dream was obviously very vague lol, but this is a complex explanation)

kevin was in a relationship with a girl who was very mean and forced a lot of toxic masculinity onto kevin knowing he was trans. the communication wasnt too far, but caught in a loop of manipulation, he felt bad for wanting to leave.

streber and kevin used to be friends in middleschool, but after a fight (still need to work on what fight happened) they split off. eventually, kevin moved away to where spooky month takes place.

streber then moves there, (because of college) and slowly their friends join them!!!!! wahoo!!!! :3 the hauntiest house gang is together! and nothing can go wrong here! after all, while the breakup with ethan was rough, (sideplot that i like to have canon in my brain: ethan and streber are exes, but still good friends) strebers a bestselling author and happily living in a small house on his own. perfectly fine, right?

that is, until kevin and streber meet again. turns out, kevin moved to the town that streber went to college! still on not good terms and refusing to make up ever since they were little, this forms an even rougher relationship. streber and kevin get into fights (very rarely turning physical because thats lame) and it slowly just turns into playful bickering. i mean, why are they fighting anyway? something stupid caused them to fall apart when they were kids. maybe they should just give up this dumb constant fight already. (also angst later because due to kevin being emotionally abused by his girlfriend, his self esteem is HORRIBLE. not to mention a lot of insecurities that streber accidentally picks on)

one day, streber is out on a walk, needing to clear his head when he finds kevin out in an alley way, sobbing. turns out, his girlfriend broke up with him. (note: i dont remember in the dream if his girlfriend broke up with him, or kevin just walked out after an argument and his girlfriend yelling at him. if so, streber most likely helped kevin with the courage to end the relationship. this wouldve happened later into their friendship.) despite the two having a mixed relationship, streber wants to comfort him, and does so. streber offers to drive kevin home after he calms down, and kevin agrees. (thankfully, kevin and his girlfriend didnt live together.)

after this, the bickering almost completely stops. the two decide it might be nice to catch up on eachothers life and get to know eachother better as their friendship only lasted like. a few months lol

this leads them to getting closer over the span of a few months, and while they arent dating, they do get progressivly flirty and a bit touchy. it does get a bit bad when streber finds out kevin is touch starved, and very sensitive to touch, which is a big development in their relationship that inevitably leads them even closer. streber is patient, and being pretty icky about a lot of physical touch themself, they dont mind at all.

^^^^^ during this, kevin also opens up about his girlfriend (and some of his past) sharing his horrible experience with her. during this, kevin explains how the bickering actually hurt him, and streber profusely apologizes, wishing he didnt target kevin like that. after making it up in the weeks, their trust grows stronger.

eventually, they confess to eachother when streber is spending the night over, and they makeout in streber's bed, sharing clothes and being overwhelmingly happy about all of it.

when streber wakes up, he hears kevin taking a shower, and the night hits him back, being super overjoyed hes now dating someone who hes had a crush on for so long. while in the shower, streber sees kevin's phone ring/a text appears (i dont rememeber which) and its his (now ex) girlfriend. this immediately causes streber to get angered, feeling as if his trust was betrayed. though, he calms down, trying to make sure he doesnt explode immediately or make any assumptions.

streber brings it up to him, and kevin seems weirded out, trying to understand why they looked at the text/phone number, but gets where streber is coming from, theyre dating now after all. streber explains that they obviously can see a text/call on a phone, kevin's phone was right on his dresser. kevin obviously understands.

kevin explains how recently (like a week ago) he began speaking to his ex again (she guilt-tripped him :( streber gets uncomfortable about this, knowing how emotionally abusive his ex was. he then begs for kevin to block her again, but reassures streber that its okay, and that shes changed.

streber tells him that if she asks to date again, tell her no, and if she persists even when kevin explains that he's now dating streber, to immediately block her. if he doesnt want to do that, then if the persisting continues, to block contact.

kevin reluctantly sighs, but nods yes. though, he feels like this is all his fault. streber reassures him that its not his fault, and that she constantly manipulated him to feel like that.

they slowly get better into the relationship, going on their first date in the first week, but kevin starts to seem more stressed. by the first few weeks, kevin seems a bit too closed off. its then revealed his ex keeps trying to get back with him, and the two visited eachother, and she tried making a move despite him explicitly saying no.

okay this is turning very long, but to sum it up, kevin removes contact and tries to go as far as to say it to her face that he isnt interested, and hes sick of her shit.

boom!!!!! okay now streber and kevi n makeout,. again ytyayyyyf

their relationship gets really smooth from then on, and kevin gradually heals from the damage that his ex did.

i am so tired why did i wirte all of that

drawing your request now crossie 🗣❗️❗️

[zestyjesty]

The Barbarian keeps rolling around my brain so I have many many thoughts under the cut

1. I saw someone talk about the house itself having layers and yes absolutely, the house and the different men we meet represent rape culture in a very literal sense. We start at the top of the iceberg in the house with Keith's "i wont take no for an answer" and not believing Tess about the basement because women who are upset just arent to be believed, and then AJs and then Frank in escalating worseness as we delve deeper into the house.

2. On the Mother ultimately being a victim but still being the monster who Tess has to kill, I actually think it does a lot about how you are raised and how that shapes what you think is normal and the harm you do. Again we start with Keith who is slightly traditional and says its "how i was raised", then we have AJ at the bar with a very old friend and went he tells him he had to "persuade" this girl and "yeah she said no at the start but like totally not by the end you know" his friend agrees and doesn't think thats rape. Basically, if you dont do the extra work to unlearn what youve been brought up to think is normal, you will absolutely inflict harm and be part of rape culture because thats how society currently is. (Clearly we dont hear about frank but if hes the type for 70s rapist/serial killer firstly is a very sexist society and secondly hes parents are 90% likely to be abusive, that combo is what made most serial killers from the 60s-80s). And the thing is despite being raised that way despite thinking it was normal AJ still deserves to be punished for harming that woman because he still did harm. And the mother doesnt know any better but she will still hurt Tess if Tess let her.

3. The final scene where Tess doesnt let her empathy stop her from thinking about herself for once is very important! Over and over she has thought about other people and got herself kidnapped and hurt for it over and over. So at the end when we still the Mothers incredibly human eyes for the very first time up close, and seeing how she cares, and its meant to pull on your heart strings, and Tess says I dont care what you want because Im going to think about me first. Clearly theres a gender gap not addressed (god i wished she got to kill AJ) but it works if we think of the Mother as the concept of distilled rape culture rather than a real person

4. I loved seeing the mechanics of the script happening in the real time. The story of the director writing himself into a corner 30 pages in and thats why the mother shows up in her first scene (i think thats why Frank shoots himself, like straight up wrote himself into another corner and goes fuck it Frank shoots himself).

5. I saw someone else didnt like the shift to AJs storyline but i really liked it, most horror movies have a hard time with pacing so they either start reallyyyyy slowly (peele) or just try to keep the suspense and terror up the whole time and theres always a flat bit in the middle and you get desensitised to it all and stop caring (halloween.....all of them). So i loved this take of doing it all again but from a completely opposite POV, normally they wouldve run the storylines concurrently so having it 1 and then 2 was just really interesting and pretty bold

6. I cannot tell you how many horror movies ive seen where the closing shot is a wide shot of the house/maze/town whatever of the final girl, and its all lit up with red/blue cop lights. Like thats normally when the film ends, when the cops show up we roll credits. So to have just the most unhelpful, apathetic, fucking rude cops cops instead was cool. I didnt even find them to be over the top (sometimes movies when theyre trying to do a 'cops suck' segment make them caricatures of villainy or bafoonery rather than making then real), but to have their very casual but unflinching demand of respect to themselves from everyone above all else, not seeing a filthy terrified woman with no possesions at all as anything unusual but a broken window thats for sure a crime. Yeah that was scary real, really well done.

7. It felt very classic horror with enough modern twists to keep it grounded in this year without being overbearing about it. Like when horror films are trying a bit too hard with that its just very sighhhhh (like in halloween 2018 they had a teen boy say out loud "i like you that means im gonna get some right??" Like no one talks like that whereas AJs version of events sounds like something a real person would say). And the house with a monster in its walls has absolutely been done before and yet watching this felt fresh bc it was playing on your expectations of the genre.

For a horror debut from a guy whose background is 2000s comedy I think he did really really good! Looking forward to what else he does

#the Barbarian #the Barbarian 2022

[handbagman]

I am here to ask about Muriel 👋👋 I need to know everything about this creature STAT

auauuaga

he was like . a water guy originally . water people from the clouds turn into clouds when theyre older he was charlies kid 🙏 he was supposed to take over cloud kingdom when he got older but then charlie and his fucked up eye dissolved half his brain and he started doing fucked up shit . mariel (still a kid) was like OH NAH and bailed . he didnt know what the ground below was like though and landed in ShitFuck Nowhere

ShitfuckNowhere was basically a watery area near a cave . mariel realizing "oh shit i am literally alone right now" started crying and due to some weird stardust bullshit (stardust causes life and everyone has a Little bit of it in them) his tears (oh yeah hes crying over a lake thing) cause the fish under him to Turn into Water people

water people that arent in the ground arent able to turn into cloud people so he accidentally just made a new type of people . his only example of leading anyone was his dad being king so he basically became the king of the water people

meanwhile charlie with his fucked up brain was like "WHERE IS MY SON :-( WHY DID HE LEAVE" and ordered sirius (oh yeah hes here LMAO (he was ordered 2 be a guard when the. Fucked up eye shit started to get bad)) to go find his ass . sirius was like "i mean. he had a good reason t--" and then charlie scared him so he went out to go find mariel .

after a While (a couple years) sirius managed to find them . meanwhile charlie was making this Lightning bolt Thing with the brain power of someone who has half a brainstem . the lightning also fucked up YOUR eyes because something something his stardust being fucked up something.

anyways when sirius found him mariel was doing pretty well 4 himself in terms of "oh hey hes not dead and theres. Other kids (water people are kids in the cloud kingdom but Not Here) as well"

sirius was like "y.yo i found your kid" and charlie was like "WOOOOOOOO OKAY GIVE HIM THIS LETTER DONT FUCKING READ IT. IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER I'M WATCHING YOU WITH A DEADLY [CANNON] THAT CAN KILL YOU ANY SECOND YOU FUCK UP (/vague ref) (ref to gta v sorry)"

sirius dropped down and told a 'guard' (some water guy standing around) to hand it over to mariel . mariel got the letter and was like "huh . someone (charlie didnt say it was him) wants to meet me somewhere for an alliance. idk what a alliance is but hell yeah"

mariel went over to The alliance Spot (some hill with forest on both sides of it) and there was nobody there . he assumed he was early and just Waited longer

MEANWHILE halfbrain charlie is setting up this lightning bolt shit . hes also yelling but considering hes on the highest cloud layer nobody can hear him

he Fires his cool little bolt . problem is that having One Blurry Eye and a shitty Telescope thing and Shit Depth Perception is very good for making you miss . he fucking misses where he was trying to aim (a couple feet in front of mariel) and hits mariel right in the arm, literally killing him instantly

the lightning 1. transforms his eyes to be fucked up 2. tears his arm off 3. electrocutes and kills the fish in his body .

sirius (who was hiding in the forest!! surprise!!!!) was like "WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK" and ran over 2 mariel

Something Something even More stardust bullshit

(sirius isnt actually a cloud person hes a piece of a star person wrapped in clouds and whenever he's feeling too much of anything/doing too much his wounds start bleeding Starfuckshit)

(the lightning bolt is supposed to affect All Eyes that see it (which is why leader also got fucked up cause he saw it) but sirius is Cool and Awesome and only got shitty lightning wounds all over his body)

(he was bleeding everywhere and ran up to mariel and was Bleeding everywhere and his Star(dust) blood basically revived mariel cause it fell in his watery corpse)

sirius doesnt know hes alive again though and goes back up to where charlie is to yell at him because Holy shit he just hit his son with lightning and Why the Fuck did you think that was a good idea you JACKASS and he runs away as well .

mariel revives . wakes up to a "dream" (heehoo clouds correlate with dreams sort of so charlie can See thru his eyes and change his dreams) and mariel was like "WHERE THE FUCK AM I" and charlies like "Come back home bro" and mariels like "WHY CAN I BARELY SEE SHIT" and charlies like "take this.mirror. look"

mariel sees his eyes are like his dads . gets terrified . Immediately starts trying to take his eye out (in his dreams). the second he gets his shitty cloud eye out (from his dream) he wakes up and still scared he starts taking out the other one .

the Dream eye is the eye with the white pupil . the fuckin sans pupil 😭😭😭 dont ask me how that works i dont know either LMRAOOO his other eye (the one thats literally just a hole in his face) is just. a hole in his face

anyways blind as shit mariel is having his body actively transformed (sirius blood shit) (+ hes sort of. evaporating??? not really) and he doesnt know wtf is happening . he cant figure out where his old water 'kingdom' is so he just walks wherever he can 'see' more . he walks like that for a couple weeks before hes found by Leader (WOOOO LEADER)

leaders like "Holy shit dude r you good...." and mariels like "WHAT THE FUCK WHERE IS THAT VOICE COMING FROM"

after a bit of talking mariels like "holy shit theres other people that exist???" and leaders like "yeah lol wanna come over 2 our place you look like shit"

mariel. recuperates over at the fire village 4 a couple more weeks . doesnt eat (hasnt realized he hasnt eaten till after leader kept asking if he needed anything)

MEANWHILE charlie (after yelling at sirius and watching him leave as well) was very Sad . it took him a week to actually get up to pick up his sons body . problem is There was No Body to fucking Pick up cause his son Walked away .

even if mariel just. turned into water and was just a puddle that had no life there still shouldve been fish bones or something nearby . there was Nothing except the 1 eye he ripped out

charlies obviously like "HES ALIVE!!!!!!" . searched around the water kingdom (threatened like. all of them until he was Sure he wasnt there) and was like . "Waaaait a minute. theres MORE people around here! Im even ALLIANCED to one!!!! (the plants but theyre unneccessary atm) Lets go check on the One Other Place here!!!"

he checks the place . threatens everyone . asks leader if he knows . leader is like "nope . never heard of him . what even is water" (mariel is sleeping in leaders house, isnt even aware that his dad is over there)

charlie is like "Hm. Okay!!!!!! If you lied i Will rain on this place So Bad and Kill everyone !!! Have a good day!!! 😁😁😁😁"

(charlie already sent a nice little letter to lindens prior that was like "have you seen a water guy with COOL and NOT WEIRD eyes" and lindens response was just "nuh uh" so he didnt check)

mariel wakes up later to leader being like "Dude. Dude you need to go . Right now . i have a little Box and we are going to Ship you over to the Plant dudes cause its Very Large over there"

mariels like "wtf happened" and when he finds out hes like "Oh. Uh. Okay ☹️ will we meet again" and leaders like "Not for a while bro . you can probably visit later (in a couple months/years) though"

mariel was almost done being turned into the weird . fluffy purple thing he is so when he got in that box he basically just. his liquid goop form got hardened and he basically erupted like a fucking butterfly out of there .

mariel got out to the plant kingdom and then Immediately had the authorities called on him for bumping into too many people and being a public nuisance

(charlie found out leader lied and just Dream tortured him for a while cause he still couldnt find mariel)

the guard that has to escort him away from the public is haynes . haynes doesnt know wtf is wrong with this guy but the guy keeps trying to get out his grasp so he takes mariel all the way over to the plant castle area

lindens is like. "okay. haynes. mind explaining why you brought that here. what is it" and haynes is like "i literally dont know" meanwhile mariel is just like "PUT ME DOWN???? PUT ME DOWN???? PU"

i dont have any explanitory lore for this point but armey and amelia soon get "ordered" (asked politely by lindens) to let him live in their house for a bit until they can figure out what to do

i. have to go i cant keep writing LMFAOOO Sorry

#long post #VERY long post Sorry 😭😭😭 #ocs

[sevi007]

Technically the whole you can't be hypnotised without consent is a bit of a simplification. To kind of very very roughly explain it, It's a case of trust and alarm. Alec trusts nate and listens to him, nate is also someone whose super good at Manipulation and using the right words to get what he wants. It's not out of the question for Nate to subtly guide Alec towards relaxation and then slowly take him down into trance and deepen it over time. Especially if he used several sessions to build up his influence before planting a trigger. 1/3

Basically since he already has Alec's trust so as long as nate doesnt say or attempt to do anything that that would alarm Alec or cause his consciousness to react I.e. do something that he would instinctively object to. he could technically slowly convince Alec to want what Nate wants to do to him. As long as he words things in the right way and has enough time to build up his control. This is very rough and not exactly 1:1 with reality and definetly not what a decent 'tist would do. The only thing that would make me question it was how little time it took. But that can be handwaved as nate just being an awesome mastermind. Also shaking off hypnosis and hypnotic triggers in real life can be incredibly difficult depending on how deep they were and how long the 'tist has been reinforcing and using them. Its a long process and people who have really strong triggers can have certain things that just won't change or ever go away

TLDR: Alec wouldnt necessarily need to consent or be fully aware to be hypnotised. And actually what nate did is super scummy even though its played for laughs. And Alec is well in his rights to be super upset and angry at nate for what he did. Eliot too has a right to be upset and gry for when Sophie conditioned him without his consent especially considering what we learn in future episodes about him. These are people with a position of power and trust who decided to use it to fuck with the brains of people who rely on them. For basically a laugh. Nate could have just asked for Alecs consent and co-operation in order to hypnotise him and plant the trigger but instead did it the way he did. If it was me I'd be terrified because Alec can never be exactly a hundred percent sure what Nate has done to him or gotten him to do. Same with Eliot or even Parker. How can they be 100% sure that they don't have triggers or conditioned responses they arent aware of?

Okay so I already thanked you in another ask for this detailed and very interesting explanation,but I gotta have say THANK YOU again. I mean, wow! I didn't realize how many cliches and simplification I had already in my head about hypnosis - say, the part with "you need to agree to the hypnosis to make it work", I really thought that's real- so this was honestly an eye-opening read here!

And now I understand the team's reactions much better. Honestly, I never thought that Nate did this was played for laughs (I mean, everybody stormed out on him right after) but for me who really believed the whole "consent for hypnosis to work" bit, it was real confusing to figure out if that meant Hardison was hypnotized against his will. Hearing now that this can ACTUALLY happen makes his fear and anger much more understandable! I also would not like the idea of someone messing with my head like that, especially if it's someone whom I trust and someone who could have freaking asked before attempting this.

In this new light, I wonder why Nate did not just state what he was about to do. He did it to relax Hardison so the heist would be successful and Hardison could shine. That's a very good reason! Had he explained it like that, I don't think Hardison would have disagreed. Okay maybe he would have been like "yeah as if that's gonna work bro" but he would have agreed, I'm 99 % sure. What is this about - showing Hardison that to be a team leader, you need to be an icecold ass???

Also sheds a new light on Sophie's bit with Eliot and the tea pouring here. It's the same freaking thing! I think. At least to me as a beginner in manipulation, hypnosis and what not, it sounds incredibly similar. Suggestion, and planting triggers, and the fear of the victim that it could happen again.

Now it's kind of ironic that it's Sophie who gets to call out Nate for provoking everyone into leaving him alone, when she did the exact same thing earlier. Huh.

Alas, all in all, this leaves a really weird feeling with me. On one hand, Leverage is trying to tell me that these guys are like a family and trust each other (see: "Inside Job") and then the next episode, both the "heads" of the team manipulate their team members and make them understandably angry.

Show runners, are you trying to tell me this is a wholesome weirdo family with some problems now, or are you not? Gotta decide here, I'm getting very mixed signals on the "wholesome" part now.

EDIT: (I'm two episodes further now and the problem does not even get addressed. I do not like that it does not get addressed.)

#leverage #long post #alec hardison #nate ford #sophie devereaux #don't get me wrong i know those guys are no angels or white knights #but dear lord make up your mind if they are supposed to be a team that trusts each other or not

[wannabeunalived]

idk what's coming over me

i feel like i m losing everything

fuck did i mess everything up

i feel so tired

my head hurts

my eyes hurt

my entire face hurts so much

i feel like i lost the love of my life

idk why

my head hurts so much

i cant stop breaking down

i messed it up again

fucking hell i messed it up again

every time i get attached to someone i end up hurting them and sabotaging us

i keep. losing. everyone. god why the fuck is it me why am i such a fucking curse why cant i just a good fucking person

i feel like im going to go insane

idk what to do

i have no one to even talk to, not like i ever cared abt that

but before i vented to noshu, but now i feel like i hurt her n pushed her away too

.

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i hurt myself, after 2 yrs. it feels weird. its not bleeding but my skin burns. fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck this all reminds me of 9th grade i messed everything up that time too.

goddamnit i am just a fucking piece of shit arent i

.

.

.

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ok its bleeding a bit shit, ig vaseline shd do the trick.

i feel pukish, i think im gonna puke. i feel so scared. i havent felt like this in years fuck i feel so empty rn. i need her. i need piki i rly need her.

.

.

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idk why when she said she was talking to polks and ts i felt like she wanted to vent to me about something but couldnt........ i dont want us to end up like her and ym. fuck im not ym, please god i dont wanna hurt her.

.

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if she does fall for ts it wouldnt be so bad tho, would it ? i mean, he would probably treat her better. we are just a coincidence, i guess, afterall. she did feel we would end sooner than her and ym did. i feel scared. why do i feel like shes going to break up with me tomorrow. .

.

.

.

.

god no, please no, i cant take it. i wanna sleep thru all this, i have an exam on tuesday.

but

i

cant

fucking

focus

.

.

i m sorry noshu, i am sorry gaurangi, i m sorry piki. i m really sorry. i wish i could fucking kill myself rn. i cant live if i lose her too, i ccant lose her too shes all thts holding me tog rn. m sorry for being so dependent on you.

.

.

i feel so toxic and clingy and draining. i am draining her arent i. sigh.

.

i cant study.

.

good night.

i hope the fan falls on my head n crushes my brain in my sleep, i dont wanna live anymore. we are going to break up, rent we.

.

.

.

#i am sorry

[lunanheartache]

i wrote this to be a whore lore summary but it ended up more as crossroads lore beats after he gets to lot SO heres some crossy lore under the cutt, warning for mentions of underage / child prostitution

crossroads whore lore important beats

* starts out as a survival thing within the first few months of running away from the convent. he is (probably) 15 at most

* it doesn't work the greatest. he and nowhere are both very much social pariahs, more or less assumed / taken as demons

* obviously this is not things im going to write. dont need to think abt it. but its important & relevant to his character

* main things here: he falls into it bc hes seen other street kids do it successfully and get a meal / a room for a night, he is just trying to get nowhere something to eat and a place to sleep if he can. this is clearly a harder sell, asking for essentially 2x payment. also a harder sell bc to the general populace he is more or less infectious. he is scary even as a starving desperate child. it is the skeeviest places in the slums that hes able to get any scores, and even then its very hit or miss

* hes a scary demon child so even creeps (in deeply religious town) dont want to fuck him. basically forced into blowjobs when someone takes him on

* none of this is fun. he is scared & desperate & trying to take care of his brother who still occasionally goes kind of catatonic. hes 15. it sucks. he does not tell nowhere. start of a feeling of personal shame (distinct from before bc they both were "the same." now this is crossroads doing something "bad" himself)

* goes on for a while. it is sporadic & by no means their primary source of income. mostly they are grifting and stealing. crossroads is maybe 17/18/19 when nowhere gets his job with the baker. now they have a relatively stable thing

* with nowheres crime money (not murder yet) they have a consistent room and consistent food (aka can eat once a day for sure). it also means crossy has more time on his hands and more time alone

* he is still a gay teen / young adult. some exploring of the self now that he has a luxury. hes also working more and more magic into his grifts as he figures it out. his grifts get more elaborate bc he can plan them and its just him

* figures hed have better luck magically disguised. cue small uptick in sex work that ends up a little more complicated - hes looking for more money (but they have some) and hes curious. chaotic brain times. agonizing. but hes learning

* starts his priest scam in his early 20s. long con over several months. uses it to get into richer parts of town. early days of it (most human looking) outside of indulgences, hes mostly hamming up the sexually inexperienced & shy priest shtick in bathhouses

* later in his scams, bathhouses stop working. again people dont like to fuck him when he looks how he does & hes kind of into bottoming at this point. he turns more to hanging around the bar of a rich hotel (lion's head) and trolling a bit - hotel is more travelers who arent as bothered by his looks / were going to pay for a hotel escort anyway

* he does not account for this second thing. he doesnt realize the hotel probably has its own sex workers bc in his mind its a poor thing and this place is rich

* (these next few bullet points are whore lore part 1 that i wrote and its technically posted)

* eventually confronted by a hotel employee (technically the owner but crossy has no idea). takes him into a back office and is like essentially like hi. i know youre whoring at my hotel. if you want you can work for me and ull make loads more money

* crossy tries to keep up his priest shtick until the guy pushes that little bit too far for him to do so. he cracks. discussion

* guy (john) is like look. i got clients who talk. bunches r askin me about the priest and i dont have a priest. i can charge like 300% more than what youre charging, you can pick when you want to work (for the enforced scarcity, so ppl pay more when he Is around), and you can keep a good cut. also bc of ur priest shtick i gotta put you in penis jail if ur working. its a bit the clients think its great. hilarious

* crossy is like fantasy jesus christ. youll pay me how much? i dont care what you do, hell yeah. lock me up. i can jack off at home. what do i care when youre paying me that much

* (horny things happen in fic. main important points: crossy, for all of his talk, is still relatively inexperienced bc. people dont want to deal with him. john is like that is fine, i train all my guys :) we'll figure out what you like)

* whore lore part 2 and anything else is crossy trying to navigate this new thing. johns thing is he claims a "reputation for enthusiasm" so cross doesnt have to do anything he doesnt care for. cross is baffled by this & the idea that hes supposed to feel good here. john introduces him to some things. cross falls hard into submissive mode bc he basically doesnt have to think or worry about anything (and thats all he does otherwise. hes an anxious guy). he winds up a little obsessed / addicted to getting to shut his mind off

* starts going to the hotel just for that & the money is more of a bonus. sometimes just shows up when hes had a bad brain day

* he goes wild buying him and nowhere new clothes and sheets and pillows and just everything they couldnt afford before. he still does not tell nowhere what hes doing. when hes not working, waffles between intense shame and like big ol arrogance

#oc posting: crossroads #lot o lore