#flist love

[pepperf]

Excellent work dash, I honestly thought it was part of the same post at first.

#flist love

[goingxmissing]

Great way to make me feel ancient on a Monday morning, LJ 💀😂

#real talk though: ​no website has ever recreated the feeling and community aspects of livejournal for me #living my best life in the 00s scrolling my flist and catching up on the rec communities #the OG kink memes #sometimes I get a random email that a prompt from the social network kinkmeme has been filled and isn't that incredible #MOST IMPORTANTLY #I made two of the most important relationships of my life through livejournal so I can never quite bring myself to delete my account #(even though I probably should) #anyway props to joining livejournal and ending up with a fiancé out of it years later ✌️ #I was feeling a bit lost in fandom last week and this has reminded me that it's a positive constant in my life #and my fiance @strawberry-daiquiris is upstairs working in the house we bought together #and I'm going to dinner with Katie @thewindowatkirkland tonight #and I'm emo about fandom #LOVE U FANDOM #no one will read this far but I love all of you for enhancing my glorious experience of f1 #🥹🥹🥹 #about me

[trekanometry]

sure woulda been smth if lj had had a renaissance before tumblr

#livejournal #i am a fandom dinosaur #but i loved it there i mean kink memes and ontd and comms and flists and ship manifestos #ah what a time

[joyjoy-the-troll]

Relationship thingy

Love

Friends

Hate

Neutral

Killer croc had a crush on riddler but respect him too much

Music meister has crush on riddler and flist with him infront of scarecrow and mad hatter to make them jealues

#dc comics #scriddler #riddlehat #riddler #scarecrow #mad hatter #killer croc #the penguin #music meister #relationship #my art

[desudog]

for the kink ask meme: amputation. like, the act of

i even custom added it to my flist back when i made that

its specifcally dual arm to me. i love the idea of the helplessness of someone suddenly losing access to their arms.. completely. no longer even having their familiar weight. i didnt even rank this one because its one of those difficult fetishes thats like "i have a lot of strong feelings on this topic and im really allured by it, and that does creep over into my sexual tastes / arousal but not exclusively" its very enchanting to me. either, as a character in a like, fantasy setting like a knight or something losing them both very suddenly in a fight, or someone waking up in some kind of abduction-prisoner situation, woozy from being knocked out and still numb realizing theyre much lighter than they were before, stumbling because their balance is thrown off, struggling with a door or with restraints etc because they dont have hands to use anymore... its very cute and enchanting. i wish it was more common too. its also very sexy for there to be a reveal that someone has no arms, usually when youd have no reason to assume otherwise, like a character is introduced with a coat over their shoulders so its obscured, or a universe with really high tech or magical prosthetics, but then its revealed its just completely absent... haha idk theres something specifically about the lack of arms to me. a lot of people are into the lack of legs but for me its arms. i think theyre very important to the sort of flow of the torso and shoulder line, so having the shoulders just flow directly into the body is just visually enchanting. i feel like a proper pervert writhing all of this, which is fine because i am and i should be a weirdo way more often

[elialys]

Seriously? People block you? I’ve always loved having you on my flist (livejournal jargon, I know, but cannot find a better way to described it). It’s always amazed me how you are so laser focus, like you obsses with one fandom at a time but Fringe/Anna is always there so I always have my source. (I’m a mess of fandons) I love how enthusiastic about the show you are after all these years. But also, HOW do you know you are blocked? is the a way to know how has blocked you here? It would be amazing to know I’m annoying enough to have been blocked, lo..

Oh yeah I've had people block me over the years as well as recently. There's no sure way of knowing unless you know their url and you check their blog (or try to 😂), but when you're part of an active fandom you see names, and when suddenly you don't see those names anymore and you go check, sometimes you find out you've been blocked.

Most recently I've been blocked on twitter, which is easier to check, and some of them are on here as well and they've blocked me too. I think my big flaw this time was being too...uhm, honest and in their face I think, about what I considered being poor fandom behaviors on some stuff. People don't like being called out, apparently. They might also just find me annoying, which has happened before and will happen again.

I'm very quiet in real life, I barely make a ripple, so I do tend to be louder online, where I feel safer and more comfortable speaking up. Back in my early fringie days (early S3), I was blocked left and right because I was loudly defending Altlivia and being quite obnoxious about it, when she was just loathed by 70% of the fandom 😂 Then during season 4 I annoyed a lot of people by spending the first six months of the season going "PETER IS HOME AND SHE'S HIS OLIVIA!!!" very loudly, when the show was trying hard to make us believe he wasn't and a lot of people believed it. The fringe fandom was not particularly chill in those days 🤣

Thank you so much for your kind words though ❤️ I do know I'm loud, and at times annoying, because I get very passionate and a tad enthusiastic. One might even say I get obsessed, but I'm gonna blame my neurodivergent brain, it has indeed gifted me with the ability to never actually move on from anything I truly obsess about, and Fringe/Anna Torv have truly taken the cake on that one 😂

#'flist' takes me back omg 🥹🥹🥹 #thank you really #im joking about this now but it has made me feel very bad in the past #rejection sensitivity dysphoria is also a thing in my brain and it makes things like this hurt a lot #but hey oh you learn you grow you move on #and im aware that 95% of my fandom interactions have been positive over the last 13 years so ❤️ #and i am a fringe/anna encyclopedia for anyone with oddly specific questions 😂 #those are always fun

[fandom-hoarder]

Didn't expect that merthur vs sasunaru poll to put me in the same fucking spot i was in as a multishipper after the spn finale 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

Merthur people saying horrible things about "weebs"/"children's cartoons" and being BUTTHURT about losing instead of respecting the name. And sns people talking shit about merlin as if they've also never fucking heard of arthurian legend. PLEASE.

And I'm over here, with sasunaru as my "baby's first slash fic" and beloved manga--that found me an online and real life community, that has some of the most amazing epic fanworks and which fandom i actually actively participated in all over LJ; and merlin, as a topic I'd already been obsessed with reading about through my childhood, that then got a cheesy af tv show that my flist's obsession with "walk on your knees" got me to start watching weekly during s3, a cheesy show which i loved --even though it betrayed my trust about magic being restored to the land-- because I loved those boys, and those girls too. Whose fanfiction brought me to Sam and Dean out of sheer luck.

Idk why the merthur people have to look down on sns people for what we like, or call it childish or ugly. Just because it's a drawing doesn't make their star crossed child soldier story any less compelling! FFS, have you seen Bradley and Colin in merlin? I'm sorry but pot and kettle, here.

I wish the sns people weren't laughing about boring british twinks cuz it's the same stupid belittling that the merthurs are doing. Arthurian legend is about more than what they look like.

BOTH OF THESE SHIPS ARE EPIC, STFU EVERYBODY

I'm super glad I'm not actually *in* either fandom right now cuz it's shitty ostracizing feels all around.

#ship polls #fandom wank #multifandom problems #🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[figureone]

Yk i used to really disagree with your theory about the mindflayer, mostly because it's a trope i really dislike, but now I'm seeing all those completely insane theories/analysis about henry never having murdered anyone, Henry having clones and I'm like ????? Suddenly the mindflayer influencing Henry is a great idea in comparation, at least it makes some damn sense, i mean, people can theorize whatever they like, i know it's supposed to be fun, but acting like it's 100% canon and everyone else is stupid for not noticing it is annoying, they used to mock Henry apologists and now Henry is a saint and he has an evil brother/clone or whatever that is the actual murderer, they now claim to love Henry but for some reason ignore everything Jamie has ever said about his character unless they can twist it to fit their narrative

Anyway, i really like how you talk about Henry, and how you write him in your rp blog, do you have a degree in psychology or something? Because you write really well

Its been a ride hasn't. I mean they explicitly made posts mocking and dragging me personally for my posts only to turn around and start saying some of the exact stuff I said that they mocked me for, ONLY instead of actually being logical and normal about why they think xyz they started coming out with these absolutely batshit insane and outlandish theories of why Henrys cool actually while simultaneously maintaining this horrific shit about how hes a pedo and rapist. Like I dont get it?? What?? I mean, I think I blocked everyone in the tags (save for my followers LOL) about the time they started saying Henry's actual crime is rape and it was VIRGINA (Who is also a pedophile and a rapist, and Henry's rapist specifically -shudders-) who ACTUALLY committed all the murders and also something about "Peter Ballard" being Henry's gay lover or whatever, I don't know, I refused to read most of the posts and after blocking I haven't seen any for ages. Like I def missed the clone stuff and surely A LOT of other out of touch shit, lucky me. But EXACTLY! You're right. This is meant to be fun and I like(d) reading different peoples takes and thoughts, even if I don't or didn't necessarily agree. HELL I love making crazy AUs and playing with concepts that aren't even canon and just having silly fun like that but like. They had the audacity to be mocking me and other Henry fans for being Henry fans, then turning around and coming out with all that and then suddenly calling themselves Henry fans. What in the fuck? Never seen a lack of self awareness quite like it before. The self-absorbed, holier than thou tone and way they imposed this on "stupid Henry Creel apologists" like me only to get to where they are now with the shit they post is just ??? They're really like "I can excuse pedophilia and rape, but I draw the line at murder in self defense." Also I love how that watchman anon was a whole thing, bc ofc they had be going on about how Dr Manhattan was in his 30s and having some relationship with a 16 yr old or some crap and that this is relevant to Henry which is literally not and then Jamie came out and confirmed thats all bullshit like I hate to say I told em so but. Then I've seen folks making posts about shipping Henry/Vecna and Will and at first I thought they were joking / mocking but now I'm sure they're serious. I even had like an ACTUAL blog for shipping Will/Vecna follow me the other day (which I promptly blocked like that was low key traumatic for sec there, like the edits made me feel unwell give how UNDERAGE Will clearly is and looks as a young boy / teen vs Henry/Jamie's pics who def looks like a grown ass fucking man in his 30s ... Ugh.)

And this all isn't actually surprising to me bc a lot of assholes I've encountered in fandoms like this usually have all these secret "taboo" turn-ons (like pedophilia and non-con) and have secret accounts on sites like ao3 and twitter and flist and whatever to produce content surrounding that sort of stuff while acting like the head purity police in public on tumblr. Which is why I think some folks come out here talking so much nonsense surrounding those things, like its secret psychological fetish mining because suddenly people are agreeing like "oh yeah this character could be / is a pedo / a rapist / haha vecna has a crush on will / vecna raped will / this is all so obvious!!" etc, like its all just... So far out of touch with the source so canons def not where its coming from or why they're obsessed with those takes and that kind of stuff, and when ppl rb it and spread it, it validates them in a sort of roundabout or even direct way. And given the first ever post like that I saw from that group about Henry/Vecna as gay (and a rapist/pedo) was spoken about in a weirdly self indulgent, hurt/comfort, wump/wumpee, fanficcy type of way including Mike having to like, win Will with his pure gay love vs Vecna's evil gay lust. Took me back to 2009, I thought they were gonna sign off with some shit like "YAOIZ FOREVER!!! SO SMEXY!!! xDDDD :3 owo" Really makes you wonder. ANYWAY, big ol ramble aside, THANK YOU! Maybe I can turn you into a mindflayer theory truther 😉 sjfkhfjkd. Also thanks so much about the writing, thats been the highlight of my day ;_; TBH I don't have any professional skill at all. I taught myself to read and write (I mean that literally as the autistic kid everyone not subtly gave up on.) so I'm kinda blown away by that as a compliment. 😭 I think it maybe just comes down to the fact that I have personal experience with child abuse / abuse / mental illness / trauma / neurodivergence and also a big love of the horror genre and those things are mostly where I write from so they probably work well for Henry/Vecna's POV, but IDK. Tysm. ❤️❤️

#tbh i found the log in for my other blog last night but im thinking of remaking it as a main blog and transferring some of my crap over the #just having that blog for hcs / theories / discussions and stuff like that #but i gotta battle the autistic urge to be argumentative with this fandom all the time lately lol. #pedophillia ment tw

[superborb]

What am I looking for in fandom?

Overly emotional late night posts are obviously always a good idea, right? A locked post on my flist was talking about bygone fannish communities; as I'm still in between fandoms and driven by the fact that I'm trying to decide if I should give Tumblr another shot or return to Twitter or whatever*, I fell back into contemplating what I'm looking for in fandom and if I can still find it in 2023. *It's totally fine to come back six months later, crossposting, right? :D? Also, I'm especially curious what people have to say and it is late and my judgement-- questionable. Because my kneejerk reaction is community, right? That's what drew me into fandom, the love for a canon but also the search for other people to talk about it and explore it with in a way largely separate from any commercial transactions. And yeah, I'll always seek out people I find interesting and who are easy to learn from, but if that was all, I'd still just be RSS feeding it up. But I feel like I do have that, so what am I doing wrong? On DW, I have a reasonably active flist, though it is nearly entirely media recs, with some personal and fandoms-I'm-not-in posts mixed in. I guess it doesn't scratch the fandom itch because even if a book is being passed around (very fun!), it's still at most one discrete post per person + comments. Mastodon is not quite active enough to feel like a community yet, just a somewhat scattered group chat. I guess the closest I have right now is Discord: I moderate a cnovel reading group where we're currently reading Little Mushroom and so chat multiple times through the week about it (unfortunately, Little Mushroom IMO is not... good enough to stand up to this treatment...)! In two separate servers, I now have weekly watch parties! And I'm reading fic and assembling a DCU recslist (tentative subtitle: 20 years of DCU), so I'm doing something concrete with fannish energy, even if it's a fandom where I chat with one other person in. I guess I have a few horrible hypotheses, some more horrible than others: 1. I miss scrolling through stuff and keeping up with a busy large group. On LJ, I would routinely be ?skip=100 daily; on Twitter I used to spend around 1.5 h daily keeping up. This would suck because it would imply that I'm superficial and primarily satisfied with parasocially looking at people's (fannish) lives lol. 2. The obvious: I'm not really emotionally invested in any fandoms right now, and idly chatting about jpop or BLs or cdramas are not the same as being all in on a single canon, thinking about and reading meta/fics. But I was (probably?) satisfied looking at fandom from afar for the decade I was out, with only sporadic commenting as engagement. 3. The most impossible to fix: displaced stress over something completely different. 4. I'm looking for something that isn't present in those existing avenues: lots of in depth meta. While I stayed subscribed to lots of authors on AO3 and found new authors to subscribe to, the meta writers slowly changed Tumblrs (which broke my RSS connection) or left fandom and I didn't search out more. Maybe fixable? Tumblr meta is so much harder to find, and also I'm older now and my standards have gone up (as I discovered when I was going through my old Pinboard links), but it... still exists somewhere I'm sure. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe I'll try Tumblr again and focus on meta writers?

On DW: https://superborb.dreamwidth.org/494109.html

[wyrmguardsecrets]

I love seeing someone with a "maybe+ ageplay" change it to a hard "no-" with a 'clear line' on their flist after they get hounded for being a fucking creep like the cuckysub they are

.

[pepperf]

Ahem, is this thing on? *taptaptap*

I would just like to wish the divine @bending-sickle the

Happiest

Of

Birthdays!

Welcome to your 40s, come on in, the water’s fine!

#bending-sickle #flist love #happy birthday!!!!

[prpfs]

🐝 heyho, got a hankerin' to write some omegaverse stuff - specifically, i'd love to write a single omega dad. maybe he has some trauma with relation to alphas, or maybe he doesn't (i'm open to most anything about that, if his kid's a result of rape or if he's a widower or just exes). but he meets someone the kid absolutely adores, could be their teacher, or a barista at the place he he goes to get coffee on the way to drop his kid off at school/daycare, or even just someone who has no idea how to act around kids, whether that's because they're real stoic or a high schooler themselves! 🫶

basically, i want a decently sappy line, but with self-indulgent drama and angst, whether that's general alpha/omega nonsense, or something to do with the kid, or something about their gap in age. also happy to incorporate things like omegas being unable to have property/leases/loans etc without an alpha/beta guarantor, omegas generally not especially liked in the workforce, and so on!

i don't care what sort of face claim stuff you prefer, i probably won't use any besides text! happy to get to know my partner and more than happy to keep away from any squicks or limits you have. you can find my flist here( https://www.f-list.net/c/rumi%20dorumi/ ), please feel free to like this and i'll reach out, or add me on discord at: dusty shame#1291

dusty shame#1291

#nuclear #oc rp #oc roleplay

[ithinkwehitametaphor]

If I met you in real life... I'd make you suffer my cooking or we'd go out for pastries/cake (LOTS of pastries/cake), there'd definitely be a bag of presents too (including chocolate, homemade jewellery, touristy tat, etc). Basically, I am possessed by the spirit of a big stupid golden retreiver whenever I meet people off my flist. I'm essentially Dug from Up and you'd have to put up with that. :D

I am all for this. I will suffer all the cooking. XD And we totally need to get lots of cake, too. Then there will be a big gift bag exchange!!! :3

PS: I love Dug. He is a GOOD boy. <3

[spikeinthepunch]

i have my 2022 art summary queued up and just want to ramble about the last year,... lots of stuff happened, good and bad! been a strange time.

i imagine most followers around have probably been here since late 2020 but 2020-21 i did art quite a bit, but the thing that really stuck for that period was i was super involved in warrior cats RP for some time-- i love RPing and these group also got me motivated to draw too! but i feel like i kind of wasnt around in the typical way due to how consumed i was in it. i dont think i need to go into detail of every month during that time, but it wasnt until early this year where i dropped it, and i didnt really publicize in detail why due to the issues surrounding it, but it was probably the biggest impact on me this year mentally, and in terms of art direction. and i feel like itd feel good to document this in a blog after it has now blown over- and why ive shifted my direction too.

i was very happily running my own RP server for just a year before i had to close it this year and it still makes me sad, as much as i moved on. ARP was like... a very big deal for me and i cant deny that. i dont have a lot of projects i get that into or get even close to setting off with its story figured out. i wrote well over 100 pages of documents for the world and the 6 planned arcs. i drew loads of art i couldnt even share until it closed (tbh im not positive i have shared it anyways bc i didnt wanna post it here). i made a website, i made riddles and code, i developed lore that was far outside of the warrior cats scope to it basically just being original!

truly i have never developed a project as far as i made ARP and to shut it down in order to save my privacy and past trauma from being further exposed in such an inappropriate way really sucked ass. a lot. it was a situation where there was no control given to me, no sense of understanding from the community. im not writing this out now to be pointing fingers and calling out names- just venting how it took a toll on me this year. what had happened with my server was that one of my own mods decided to dig into my profiles and found an old nsfw page, which even more indirectly led to an old flist, which exposed various things i was into around 17-19, reflecting trauma and abuse id been through (in it, voiced wanting to take part in certain kinks; ex. being a victim to violence and dubious consent scenarios). this information was at first presented as a threat to minors viewing my RP page (as in "ppl can see your nsfw profile from the blog!") which wasnt true/accessible as they said it was and required many many clicks to find, and then slowly revealed to me the people exposing this were in fact two of my own mods and was promptly cut off from explaining anything else as it spread in a private mod discord in the RP community. Which was worse to me than everything else that could have happened honestly, and i only learned this second hand from a person who saw it in that discord and thought it was horrible this information was spreading like that behind my back. in some ways things were okay-- i didnt get "called out" openly as i did my best to explain how these pages were not current to those around me, and that they had dug into some deep cutting trauma and a period where i wasnt getting any help to cope properly. it still didnt stop the fact i left every other RP i was in due to connections w those exposing it, and in turn closing my own. i dont want to say im thankful i didnt get called out publicly, but the damage was bad enough in so many other ways because i couldnt continue my server at all, and in the end people's obsession with purity culture in the fandom still made them deem me "bad" because i had nsfw accounts in any capacity. thats not a space i want to be around anyways...

ill forever be thankful for those who stuck it out to the end and witnessed the documents i got to share before closing it for good. but this was a HUGE part of my life for the last years of the pandemic, and i wasnt there for warriors cats- i was there for the people i knew, and the stories i made. i still miss RP a lot, and i want to host projects like that again after moving on mentally from that ordeal.

but my 2022 art summary shows a major shift that was 100% in part to disconnecting from wcrp. humans everywhere! seriously. for a solid few months i couldnt even bare to look at anything related to ARP. i didnt want to think about how i lost this story i developed so hard for so long.

honestly didnt really start drawing properly again until the summer- my art during my HL phase was very very light and very messy. i fell into a hard depression early summer and i only crawled out when i got into mcyt- and even then i was hiding it from this blog. i think i just needed to not feel like i was "online", because August included me joining a onceler RP and again, not saying anything about it. which Weehawken was the first RP thing I had done since i closed ARP too, and it was weird. not the RP itself, it just felt weird to try that again.

and it wasnt my favorite month, i just felt so tired and exhausted- that depression was kinda lingering and drawing a lot for an RP again was something i wasnt really used to anymore.

the past three months have been.... better? or i have at least enjoyed what i am drawing more. i think im far enough removed from what happened with ARP too that it doesnt weigh on me as strongly. i wasnt blaming myself for anything but it doesnt feel good when you know you have to kill something. we talked about recovering it, i had ideas, but i just knew it wouldnt be worth trying to with so much damage caused in my own self, and the impression that whole community left on me knowing people would willingly spread such personal information without question. having trauma exposed after going to therapy and relearning how to use the internet in a way that doesnt lean on trauma dumping and whatever unhealthy bullshit? its quite a blow. i dont make personal blogs like this often because i have good methods to deal with my shit these days.

despite this messy year im doing well. its been ups and downs. overall i know im far more confident in myself, i moved out to live on my own, and im just doing my thing. whatever bull shit happened this year, call out or not, i know im still just gonna keep doing whatever it is im doing. and heres to hoping i can bring a world to life like i did with ARP again, bc i really have a lot i want to tell and show and do.

#2022 art summary #art summary #if someone from wc is lurking and comes to my inbox to shit #i will snipe you on the spot

[brightestlulu]

Love your genderbend art I'm gonna use it as a reference for my genderbent flist profile but I wouldn't look unless you're okay with ageplay

err i havent drawn any genderbend art, if youre talking about the art with boobs, none of them are genderbent, they just have boobs. i would also appreciate if you dont use my art for anything sexual? none of the drawings ive made and posted on here are meant to be sexual and i dont want it to be associated with that

i would also appreciate you tell me who you are so i can block you lol

[puppyparkmoving]

🌟Dylan -hickhusband

Ouuuugghhhh

Their relationship is really really complicated. Their first interaction was when she was working on her hypnospace page he messaged her literally becuz he was desparate and despicable. They both have autism so hes not really good at flirting smoothly and shes not very good at picking up on it but she thought he was cute and funny and talked to him every night becuz she had no friends irl. He didnt belittle her for having a rocky and kind of fruitless career for so long and for being disabled. She just felt good talking with him and eventually they developed a deeper and lbr nsfw relationship. They were secretly dating for a bit becuz she didnt like posting overly personal things for everyone to see. And he respected that but would kind of hint that he was taken often as if anyone might prod him abt it but they didnt. She was always incredibly supportive of his interests and ambitions because she wished she had someone like that in her failed two years of college.

When she volunteers to be an enforcer to make things easier for him so he can focus on his passion project they can only talk through the company emails which she expresses worry people in the company might find out. They however dont and they continue their relationship getting to the point of saying i love you and what not. His stress obviously builds as the new year approaches between his job, the ridicule he gets, and the mass hysteria abt y2k. His hobbies are becoming harder and hes lashing out on people. It makes things harder between the two and he gets worried about that as she kind of distances herself and doesnt answer as often. It doesnt help he doesnt get along with sam and she becomes close with sam.

With a severe wedge between them and the headband malfunctioning theres a while where they dont talk. When she logs back on he seems to have removed stuff about him being taken and doesnt answer her emails. Sam is receptive and an amazing friend and coworker to her. Helps her a lot. When Dylan finally reaches back out hes a bit defensive and sensitive still and she doesnt really tolerate it or answer him. Which leads to him being a bit desperate and despicable again. And Margaret has no problem slamming the hammer on his flist. Which of coirse makes him ban you from the server but his email isnt as severe to her.

When she comes back and everythings a fucking mess its a welcome distraction from how bad her real life has gotten since she and Dylan assumedly split. She missed the people and the work. Even if it was so much to handle. The two reconciled shortly before midnight while the update was uploading. Things were seemingly perfect until the inevitable. 20 years later she never dated afterwards. Hes the only man she can see herself with but she fell off the face of the earth feeling like y2k was her fault. Id love to say they have a happy ending but they dont. Maybe ill make an au. Point is theyre soul mates in a world not made for autistic people and are constantly kept apart.

#si: margaret #this made me feel better #🖱