#forgive me im only doing this because i got a BETTER URL | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strfd · 2 years

Note

me :) giv me kissy

send URL for opinion. always open.

jhin ! i love you ! i will gib kehisses to you always ! mwah mwah !!! also ... i am mobile bound so this WILL be edited later ( and possibly added onto ) when i get home after my shift just letting you know 🔪

MY OPINION ON ;

character in general : i was gonna be funny & go off talking about every single ONE of your characters LOL . but that would require me to list A LOT of characters . not to mention that there’s many characters that ... i wouldn’t have an opinion on if it weren’t for you ( or have reconsidered my thoughts on cause if you ) heheheheh the jhin effect ....

really though . there's MANY characters that you write that i have a fondness for anyway to begin with . & some of them i had considered of writing them myself . ( namely zhongli tbh , asra , & , at one point , yusei ) but really i could really go on & on about literally every character that i know you write . from noctis to sylvain to diluc to timothy & everybody in between . i think honestly you & i have very VERY similar tastes in characters anyway . you just happen to WRITE the muses that i dont tend to want to write & would just ... enjoy as characters . but thats fine . its okay . now i have the opportunity to ENJOY seeing them more cause they are written by you !

oh but dont even get me started on your OCs . sarmenti is perhaps my fav . but i am also interested in siv & your other little jester HRNGH ( forgive me i cannot , for the life of me rmmr his name - nichol ? nikola ? jesus i really cant remember i am so so sorry , its been a WHILE since we talked about him & im just BAD with names . but your bard ! the bard ! i love him !! ) honestly , you have such a refined taste in characters & i , for one , think you have IMPECCABLE taste !!! i would go off but im mobile bound so ... yea .

how they play them : seeing as i LITERALLY named the jhin effect after you , i think you already know the answer to this . LOL

but other people dont so let me just tell everybody that like ... HOLY FUCK . i dont think ive cried to others how much i ENJOY your writing but its gotten to the point where i just ... go ' yep thats canon ' . even though i KNOW its not true . but like . i just love your interpretations & portrayals okay ? I think theyre just very neat . i would hope by now that you KNOW that you are my go to for character facts . somebody says something about zhongli ? ' let me ask jhin ' . gerome ? sylvain ? you bet your ass i will be going to you for the french boyos . hell you even got me to love & adore noctis & yusei again after they had been initially ruined for me . ( liked the characters but you know what happened ) oh & dont get me started when i went and asked if you wrote chongyun cause i just NEEDED affirmation that the popsicle lad was being written by somebody i could trust . i am pretty sure that sone of these characters , you dont write on here but EVEN like your portrayals or thoughts / hcs on these characters just make me FEEL better when i know you have an opinion on them because i KNOW that your opinions are honest , true , & very realistic !

oh & you should also know that your reverse gatekeeping is doing wonders since i know for a fucking fact that i have picked up muses cause of you . i will only write muses with you FOR you . you have special rights . just because your writing & portrayal for is just absolutely wonderful & amazing . much love for you !!! Mwah mwah !!

The Mun : me thinks part of you sent this so i can write a 5 page essay on how wonderful & amazing you are cause you really are . & i would do such a thing for you because 1 : you deserve it & 2 : i love you so fucking much .

honestly . you are , by far , one of my closest friends . i am so lucky to have had the opportunity to meet & befriend you . & TO THIS DAY , i still remember how we met . let me tell you , i think about it from time to time . and honestly . i dont regret it . i dont regret it at all . in fact im happy i did it . i literally just send you a dm asking if you had gotten my ask cause i KNOW dumblr eats shit all the time . and your response . my word ... it was the sweetest & softest thing that i have EVER seen . honestly ? YOU are a sweet & soft thing . i tell bailey about you all the time - like i did this morning actually - and even SHE thinks you are a sweet & soft thing . i dont know if i have said this before but . youre amazing . i trust you so much , & i WILL come visit you one day . i swear 🔪

anyway for anybody who doesnt know jhin , just know that i love this man so much . i love his sing songy voice . its very sweet - like honey in tea . i love it when he goes off about the silliest of things . or even the things that he loves the most ( sometimes its about his wife - we love you kyria ! ) . he is a VERY polite man too . like really , it makes ME want to be better at asking beforehand myself .

if you were to ask me what i think about first when i see or hear the name jhin , id always give you a different answer . sometimes i think of a soft lavender purple . other times it is like this weird firehouse red colour . most of the time its like soft but kind of a bright cottoncandy blue . sometimes its just schüsse in die luft playing on repeat . jhin i stfg whenever that plays or of kraftklub plays in general ... its THE band for you . that song is your anthem or something idk . but also sometimes i think about shane koyczan when i think of you . idk . whenever i have a bad day . i think about you & remember all the stuff youve shown me & then i go look for it . hell . whenever i see anything tma or howls moving castle related i go . hehehehe jhin .....

youre such a good friend okay . youre a wonderful person . somebody i go to for advice but somebody i go to just for the sake of like ... Checking to make sure YOURE okay . youre a good person . youre a kind person . & you deserve only the best things .

i love you jhin . mwah !!

DO I ;

RP with them : uh yea LOL . just not on cloud lmfao . though . i still have one more thing to answer for noct . and then i thunk i still need to send more stuff for your other muses .

Want to RP with them : why is this a question ? like duh . but this is & will ALWAYS be a given . not matter which blog i am . ( and suddenly i have zhongzhu brainrot on the mind again WHOOPS )

WHAT IS MY ;

Overall Opinion: blows you a kehiss . for everybody else . understand this : the mun is a jhin simp . we stan jhin in this house .

ABSOLUELY will cry about jhin on command .

10 / 10 will scream about him to you . that man is amazing . im so lucky to know him & consider him a REALLY close & a best friend . i trust him with my life .

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

#ooc.#hauntics #positivity.#long post /#/ GODS this is so long .#i WILL go home and add more stuff so if you wanna reblog just wait until i get home .#/ HRNGH #/ anyway i fucking love jhin #/ hes amazing

4 notes · View notes

yakocchi · 4 years

Text

hello it is me i’m here to convince u to vote for one of these BMP events to be officially posted ON THE YOUTUBES in this Reprint Event Election they’re holding for the 10th Anniversary. oh my

The site for the event is here (click the little banner with Sieg and Kuon for the survey itself)

bc u see, there are a lot of events up where i’m like... why is this even eligible to vote for ( ´_ゝ｀) a lot of them have already been reprinted on LT/Party already and even a few were reprinted again on BMP2. the fuc i wanna see the events that haven’t reappeared ever

I’m probably gonna translate the routes of the event that will win... if i care about said event (´;◞౪◟;) this is my only form of bribery, forgive me

u should vote for one of the events behind the cut ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So there’s 15 BMP1 events to choose from, but take it from me... only like maybe half of them are worth even looking at bc the rest have either been reprinted once or twice. either that, or they’re relatively older compared to some of the others in the roster and we should pick the shiny newer ones. imo

the way they phrased it makes it sound like they just have all the code rotting in the back (which they do) and all the other events will once again be sent to the shadow realm when this is over. man i hope not, some of these haven’t seen the light of day in... like 4-5 years

So these are the few events I personally will promote:

嘘つき片想い～プリンセスの桜涙～ The Lying, Unrequited Love // The Princess’s Sakura Tears

Routes: Original 6 Princes + Yakov + Zain (Theo Bonus Story) Recap: This event was a love triangle event where the routes consisted of the main character getting MC in the better ending and the alternate character the normal ending. This is your typical “muh pathos” event where you feel bad for the character that ends up having to watch his unrequited love (MC) go off with the other man. i mean granted, bmp1 never really had much emo events for the princes themselves. usually the angst was reserved for the butlers LOOOL

Why you should vote for it: For one, it has all the route characters as event routes. It even has a story with Theo (!!!) for the All Clear prize but idk if they’re gonna post that too The other reason is DRAMA bc the love triangles were like this:

bruh they did theo dirty like that, squaring him up with a grown ass man

素肌で感じるPrinceの愛❤～朝までシーツに包まれて～ The Prince’s Love, Feeling His Naked Skin // Wrapped Up in the Sheets Until Morning

Routes: Original 6 Princes + Yakov Recap: This event was the corresponding White Day event to the previous Valentine’s Day event (but that one isn’t eligible to vote for bc idk) anyway this one had an additional bath theme, aka most (all? the chibis were all bath related so) of them involve bathtime with ur boo and stuff. it’s less cute and more hot trust me look at these CGS THO:

here are the thumbnails for the ones i don’t have. lol voltage makes it pretty easy to find the image urls for some stuff so:

as i got these i realized these are in the artbook. bah but i’m too lazy to take it out and snap pics Why you should vote for it: cuz it hot and has nekkid princes haha i am a simple girl

“It’s because I heard your bold confession.”

執事とイケないジェラシーNight～愛のスパイスは独占欲❤～ A Naughty Jealousy Night with the Butler // The Spice of Love is Possessiveness

Routes: The 6 Butlers + Zain (Yuri Bonus Story) Recap: honestly back when i played bmp1 i just kinda napped through the butler events so i could get a cute skirt so you’re on your own here i do think i have CGs from this event... i just dunno which ones they are PERHAPS it is this one? i dont know it’s been so long well if not you can enjoy these i guess

Why you should vote for it: voltage: u can have one butler event, as a treat this is the only event with the butlers as route choices up for election. Honestly I would’ve much preferred the triad event set of “im getting married to my butler guy” but those have to all come together and it seems that the current BMP fandom is already pretty uninterested in the BMP1 butlers except Yuri so... rip.

王子様のプロポーズ❤～キミにかける永遠の魔法～ The Prince’s Proposal // The Eternal Magic Cast on You

Routes: The 6 Princes + Yakov Recap: I’m pretty sure this was the 5th (and final) Anniversary Event for the princes. It was a glimpse into the future where the princes are now kings and stuff. ...It’s not as exciting as you’d think bc most of the routes just involve doing duties as a queen and how stressful that is. ah reality. in my fantasy country game. But still, it’s a unique theme for an event. I actually have all the routes for this lol, I’m just too lazy to crack that old zip open and go through the less interesting dialogue ( ´_ゝ｀) like the yakov route is her getting stressed out about having to lead the opening of Sanct Sybil’s new design school and even former-workaholic yakov is like “waifu why u gotta bring work into bed” and then the wil event was them having to plan an event together for some stuffy nobles or w/e and claude judges them (bc yea he cares but still) the whole way through. have we not suffered enough claude-terror for a decade

Why you should vote for it: This is the last Anniversary event BMP1 had, and it’s about them as kings. They have the 4th and 3rd Anniversary events also up to vote, but... that seems kind of backwards to vote for imo. I remember the 4th anniv one and it was... all right. that one was before yakov had a route tho so mc and him were only acquaintances zzz

so yea those are the events i would like to see posted. Thank u for readin my garbage!!

#be my princess #bmp

9 notes · View notes

queenharumiura · 4 years

Note

|･ω･｀) hibari-kyouya-skylark

Send me |･ω･｀) + a URL and I’ll talk about this blog! ||Accepting||@hibari-kyouya-skylark [I was dumb and forgot to @ tag the last time so i’m making a point to remember this time OTL]

These memes are a time for me to just ramble and talk. So, to start, I guess I’ll go with: I was very confused when I looked in my notifs one day to see that I was followed by a Hibari blog. Not in a bad way! It’s like--- ???????????????? someone from KHR, with a popular muse, is following me?

Is this a mistake or---?

Forgive me, because I dealt with a lot when this blog started out. I won’t get into how many times I was told that people didn’t want to interact because: “My muse is gay” or “But my muse hasn’t canonically interacted with Haru before-- I don’t want to interact”. To put it simply, I became kinda jaded around that time.

I’ve gotten better, but there are certain habits that I formed because of that dark time. Such as, I virtually never follow first. I am too terrified to follow people first because of what happened in the past. I’ve had people follow back, but then later tell me they had no intentions of ever interacting. It’s like-- but why follow back then?

So, that’s why, I stopped following first. I have people follow me first as that’s a clearer indication that people are actually interested in rp’ing. So that’s the backstory on that. So, I was surprised to see a Hibari following. Essentially, i’m very unused to people from KHR following and interacting, so I was very ?????? for a bit.

Pretty sure I asked about the guidelines via ask or im. Probably because they weren’t there? I’ll admit that I was terrified to ask, but I did it. I like to read the rules before I do anything with a blog so I was very ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; what if I mess up. Highkey anxious.

I think I first came across the blog when they appeared on Rikku’s blog. Pretty sure I looked through the blog and was fascinated by the whole ‘ohhhhhhhh Yakuza backstory’ in the headcanons or about page. It was somewhere. I know that it was before the blog was then redone.

Basically, I am a curious bean and I like to look into who people interact with and read random stuff. So when I saw the follow on Haru, I noticed the slight difference in url name and also the blog layout. I didn’t have to admit that, but here we are. I lowkey stalked bc i’m curious bean. Then got followed and was “shock-desu.”

I’m very easily intimidated so I was highkey intimidated lol. I won’t lie and say that I’m still not. I’m just--- like that. It can take me a while to warm up to people. Some, I can warm up to quicker than others. I’m not really sure what it is. Basically, i’m just dumb. We can chalk it up to that.

So----- let’s see. Cycling back, I do think you said something about how you didn’t have rules up yet since you weren’t ready to do full blown rps yet since you were going back into the series to refresh your memory. I was okay with that and was pretty much, cool beans, i’ll wait.

I’m pretty sure it was not long afterwards that I saw a post for rules that was written and was like- oho. Proactive- for a lack of a better word bc I can’t words at the moment. Idk, somehow that left an impression on me. Perhaps because 1) It lessened my anxiety 2) it just somehow gave off the feel that ‘someone asked for it, so I will put something up/find something while I’m reliving KHR’

So I appreciated that. Even if it wasn’t done for that purpose, I still appreciated it. I think it’s in the rules where it’s stated that you normally don’t like to write starters because you feel as though you can’t write them well.

Did post a starter call tho, and I stared at it for a few seconds before I clicked on the lil heart. Will say that I was surprised that something was written pretty promptly. For another thing of backstory-- I don’t mean it in a bad way at all. I just-- am used to not getting starters written even if I like starter calls. I’ve just reached a point where I will like starter calls but not get my hopes up.

So, to see something so prompt was a shock for me, and also--- uhh--- touching? It’s like, it could’ve been ignored, but it wasn’t. Not only was it prompt, but it was a well written starter and so, it left a favorable impression to say the very least. It goes to show that you took care when writing it, and that meant a lot to me.

Afterwards, each reply was written very well and with a lot of detail. It’s clear that thought and effort was put into every reply, and-- idk, it made me pretty emotional. Like, wow, I think... Rena is enjoying this thread? New concept! A KHR blog who actually wants to interact. #Concept.

[Sorry that this goes down a dark point sporadically. I just-- have baggage when it comes to the KHR fandom from a few years ago aha;;;;;;; I honestly don’t get my hopes up to high with KHR fandom bc of the past. It hurts less that way. ]

It was recently we talked via im and you let me know that you actually liked Haru and enjoyed interacting with all sorts of muses as it allows one to explore through different themes. I feel the same way, and it was nice to know that we shared that thought.

Pretty sure I was also sent a fanart with Haru and Hibari in it and it’s like. omg. A picture tribute. #blessed.

Lil things like that mean a lot to me bc it’s like, ‘wow someone thought of me and thought to share with me something. I exist in their realm.’ So that really helped me warm up in the past couple of days.

Now i’m just intimidated because ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh such a good writer. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh can’t do justice. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh.

I can’t think of anything else to confess, write about, so i’ll stop there. alskjlaskjdlfajlfjals

#Anonymous ask #answered ask #thanks for the ask!#Meme answered #Neo speaks #((Sorry that I'm just everywhere))#((Also sorry that I just go through emotional bumps throughout))#((sorry if I say anything that came out wrongly OTL))#((I'm just a very shocked bean who has very low expectations for things))

1 note · View note

itsnotpatsy · 5 years

Text

so this is a call out post for @whiskeyrely and @drftwood who i logically blocked because i’m exhausted of the bullshit and i’m sick of being a nice goddamn person and having it shit on and then expected to forgive someone countless times.

under a cut for length.

so i met alex (who goes by alex but is actually catie but made that alias to escape her own bullshit she’d pulled elsewhere) when she’d played a trish walker over at i think the url was @herodesire, but it was along those lines, over on my alana blog @cruelonlytobekind and we plotted and discussed but otherwise didn’t write. it was chill. i thought she was pretty rad.

i made this blog, over here, yonder, and then she approached me eager to write a jessica jones. because i can’t help but be innocent and excited about things, i encouraged it. i was genuinely happy to have a jessica i seemed to be good friends with who i could write with and plot with. i myself am a major trishica shipper and a huge enthusiast of jess’s character. i’ve written her myself and wrote her before, i still do on a multi.

things seemed to be pretty cool. i invited her into a discussion with three other people i wrote with, including the person who partners in my mainverse. and then shit started to go evidently haywire. i don’t have the conversation logs anymore because i can’t find them on discord, but she’d essentially repeatedly guilted me into trying to write, perpetually prostrating herself with the ‘i understand if you don’t want to write with me since you have your mainverse partner now’ and then cryptically left the chat with two of my other writing partners, stating that ‘they felt uncomfortable’ after they’d literally asked advice of us by dumping this huge set of screencaps about a feud they had with another marvel rper and made us ridiculously uncomfortable.

a note: don’t drag people into your bullshit. they didn’t sign up for being caught in between your weird argument with somebody and you’re holding them emotionally hostage by dropping this chunk of screencaps without asking. no warning about the situation, no venting, just holding them hostage about it. don’t ask for an opinion when you want people to just tell you you were right.

(i’m sorry i don’t have screencaps yet. i don’t want to expose the other two people involved, or the person they were having the argument with, as i don’t know that person personally and i don’t feel like stirring up their shit, too.)

so fast forward. they apologize to me on discord under their jessica account and i accept the apology. because to me it wasn’t a huge deal, it was only a situation in which i’d become uncomfortable due to the completely forceful attempt to write with me, ship with me, and exist in my hemisphere. she made me a series of graphics and images without my prompting at all and continuously, which often seems to me like an attempt to make the other person feel indebted, and i was perpetually guilted in ‘do you ever want to write with me anymore’ im’s or the usual ‘i understand if you have someone else you like writing with better’. which is frankly gross. stop self-flagellating to gain someone’s sympathy.

fast forward to a couple days ago. i get a couple anonymous asks:

of course, i’m so excited. why wouldn’t i be? this is a character beloved to me created between someone close to me and myself, and the chance to write against them was super exciting. why wouldn’t i be stoked? of course! so i responded with enthusiasm and then got an im from this:

evidently whoever the fuck a charlie is. but they tell me that ‘they’ve never rped before and they’ve followed me over on my alana blog forever and they’ve wanted to forever, but they don’t know the first thing about it so they wanted to start by approaching me’. so i helped them by coming up with a url, by discussing headcanons, etc. you know. shit you do when you’re excited. then i started to notice things.

their ‘new blog’:

alex’s blog:

wow, it’s super suspicious that a person brand new to rp knows exactly how to use a tag system, same italicized/bolded/font type in the header, edits very much the same. that makes total sense. it’s not suspicious at all.

(note, don’t act like someone’s stupid. they won’t love it.)

but i tried to give them the benefit of the doubt.

until last night.

so here’s a note: don’t start a conversation with i know you’re suffering but i’m here to guilt you about this online situation. i have enough shit going on in my life without someone taking the things i enjoy and making them hard for me to enjoy because i need to be paranoid about everything or i need to worry every kind gesture or show of enthusiasm from someone new is someone hiding things from me. but here you are trying to make it sound like you’re socially awkward and this isn’t malicious as an act in and of itself. and as if that wasn’t bad enough, you got caught so!

fuck the ever loving fuck off. learn how to leave well enough alone. and i see you blocking the people who liked the post about catfishing i wrote. you’re being a genuine coward and you need to stop ‘saying you’ll do better’ or playing the victim and acting like your behavior is just ‘because you’re bad at this’ or ‘you’re socially awkward’. it’s not an excuse. don’t fuck with people’s creativity or feelings.

also, leave me alone in every sphere of my roleplaying. i’m sick to death of you fucking around and then apologizing when it is clearly bullshit.

thanks for the time of everyone who read this. feel free to reblog.

#callout /#drama /#whiskeyrely #drftwood #out. anne hathaway can rail me.#[fuck off fuck off fuck off.#you absolute fucknut fuck off.]

19 notes · View notes

gunpowder-tea · 6 years

Text

Tag Game~

ty for tagging me @radio-charlie :))

Rules: Answer 30 questions. Tag 10 blogs you want to get to know better.

Nickname(s): ellie, snuff, snuffie

Gender: f

Sign: libra

Height: 5′9, but i have the personality of a 6′0 bitch

Current time: 7:45pm

Favorite band(s): first aid kit, placebo, yeah yeah yeahs

Favorite solo artist(s): dar williams, hozier, neko case, megan washington

Song stuck in my head: kisses of fire by abba lol i got on the Mama Mia train when the sequel came out and never got off

Last movie I saw: deadpool 2 and god i hated how the only asian girl in the movie was written, like i actually found her annoying and she deserved better

Last show I watched: i watched the first episode of disenchanted on netflix last night, and i liked it because the MC is basically my dnd character lol (noble background warlock with imp familiar on the run from her oppressive family)

When did I create my blog: uuuuuuhh no idea! i’ve had it at least since 2013

What do I post: shit

Last thing I googled: fluffy leg buff chicken LOL im jokingly betrothed to a rooster in my dnd game so i was looking for a picture of my future husband

Do I have other blogs: nope

Do I get asks: rarely

Why did I choose my url: lol i was just looking for something that sounded nice, that wasn’t already taken

Following: 637

Followed by: 834

Average hours of sleep: 7-8, 9 if im super lucky. i need a lot of sleep :(

Lucky number: hmmmm i wanna say.... 4. i made it up, dk if it counts.

Instruments: nothing!!! couldnt even play the recorder properly in primary school

What I’m wearing: fluffy bathrobe and undies lol

Dream job: trophy wife of rich sickly older man but oh no he dies of a stroke or was it botulism poisoning, i guess we’ll never know but i’ll sure enjoy the estate he left me. jk i like what i’m doing right now (psychologist) but i’d love to integrate art into my practice and do art therapy

Favorite food: singapore/malaysian food ofc

Nationality: singaporean but i live in australia atm

Favorite song: wolf by first aid kit

Last book I read: i only ever read for work :( Counselling and Therapy with Refugees and Victims of Trauma: Psychological Problems of Victims of War, Torture and Repression by Guus van der Veer

Top 3 fictional universes I want to join: ohohoho. begrudgingly, harry potter... my 12 yr old self would never forgive me if i didn’t include it. dc universe (comic only). uhhh faerun. watch me die instantly in all these universes. :)

tagging @unnullify @tariqk @mifengdianying and whoever else wants to do it, you dont need my permission, im not the boss of you!!

6 notes · View notes

dekiiru · 6 years

Text

okay sorry it took so long for me to write and post this, but im home now and in the silence to be able to gather my thoughts and the peace to be able to write them down. a lot of this is me working through my own thoughts as i write it so im sorry its so long, but im still a little bit confused on how to feel about this, largely, i think, due to shock.

i had no clue about almost any of the stuff julie did or said to people. i knew of the miles thing to some extent (i didnt know why miles was uncomfortable with him, i only knew about the aftereffects) and i knew about the vague story surrounding why maddy, jay and marina didnt like him, although i had never actually spoken to them before.

my initial reaction to the callout was to get defensive, because that was someone i considered my friend and although somewhere i think i knew or had some inkling that he was like this, i chalked it up to mistakes and people jealous of his popularity because i wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. but the more i read the callout (i never finished it, partially because i had to take screencaps of the posts and painstakingly slowly read through them because the nature of my work makes it very difficult to focus on things for more than a few seconds at a time and partially because by the time i stopped, i had already made my decision regarding him) the more i realized that defending his actions isnt something i can, should, or would do.

and regarding the “sc/hool sho/oter” post, i live in america. in fact, i lived about 5-15 minutes away from where one of these sc/hool sho/otings happened (i lived for several years in roseburg, oregon, and the sh/ooting at u.c.c. happened a year or two after i moved to where i live now). i knew people who went there. i knew one person who died. the day it happened i broke down in the middle of marching band because i had no idea whether or not the friends i knew for three years were alive or dead and that fucking terrified me. and when it happened, i told julie over discord (because i was working when i heard about it) that i did not condone his actions or words and that it was wrong of him to say, but (and i still stand by this), it is not the place of anyone who was not even indirectly affected by a shooting to decide whether or not someone is worthy of redemption. no, julie should not have reblogged that post and while it is totally fine for you to be uncomfortable to interact with him because of it, i think only people who have been directly affected by sc/hool shoo/tings have the right to decide if he is worthy of forgiveness - for that. the rest of it is a different matter.

a few months ago i actually went through this with someone else. i wrote a callout post for daisy, a mercy blog in the overwatch fandom who deleted shortly after i wrote it. (if any of you want to see that callout, let me know and ill send it to you. i will admit here and now that there was something i shouldnt have added in there, but it was added with good intentions, but regardless, daisy’s callout really has nothing to do with the situation with julie and nothing to do with what is happening now. shes gone. im just making a connection to this situation.) it was a very similar situation; manipulation, hypocrisy, turning people against others, saving face and caring more about reputation than anything else. and while i was absolutely terrified of daisy’s situation happening again, where i get really really close with someone and then find out they manipulated the fuck out of me, i was also scared to lose friends, and i think thats a big part of why i wanted so badly to match or whatever, because i really really really wanted a place to belong, where i felt special and unique and yet part of a group and in the end that really fucked me over and made me blind to what was happening. i defended him (albeit not for long, ive only spoken to him for a few months now) for things i shouldnt have defended him for because i was terrified of losing people and im so sorry about that.

as for the callout itself: i will say that i do think there are two sides to every story. im not saying julie is a victim in this or that he is to be sympathized with, because at the end of the day, he hurt a lot of people and its good that the word was spread before more people got hurt. i dont agree that it is “a cis persons responsibility to make sure people know they are cis” because that kind of mindset will only lead to a witch hunt, but im not going to make a fuss about this because i know some other genderqueer people are more uncomfortable about cis people than i am and at the end of the day that is a personal opinion. i think some of the callout was worded with bias which probably, in some situations, did slightly twist the truth, ONLY because it is a callout and it is really difficult not to twist the truth in them even when they are written as formally as possible, HOWEVER while most of the time i disregard callouts (because a lot of them are written entirely based on personal bias because someone doesnt like someone else rather than on an actual need for people to be warned), this one was written very eloquently and very well. as someone who has been on that side of things, im really really proud of the people who contributed to it, especially those that werent afraid of giving their names out, because that is a really really hard thing to do, especially when its for someone really popular. i remember when i wrote one for daisy, i was almost sick to my stomach with the anxiety, and really pleasantly surprised when it was received much better than i expected. i am really proud of you guys, and thank you for letting me and everyone else know the truth of what happened.

however, that callout was not an attack, nor was it intended to be, and by people sending julie hate, youre just making the situation worse. i believe, in my personal opinion, that the best thing to do is to block and move on. we can come together as a community, and while julies actions wont go away, hopefully we can heal and understand from them. and i really want to thank manny for that post, because similarly to daisy, it is the people closest to the person in question who are left most in the dark. as julies friend, i had no idea about almost anything that was there and honestly, im glad now that i do. thank you for understanding that the people who associated with him are not always aware of what he did.

anyway this is really disorganized and im sorry, thats just my thoughts on the matter (as much as i can think anyway), and i hope it makes some sort of sense. i will be hardblocking julie on all of my blogs and changing the urls to both my izuku blog and my ouma blog and my icon for this blog. if you choose to continue to interact with julie, thats on you and i wont reprimand you, block you or unfollow you for it. please do not associate me with him anymore, though, add me to any groups anywhere with him, or tag me and him in the same posts.

and, as i said before, because i really want to get this point across, if you are uncomfortable with me because i interacted with him so much and so intimately and wish to hard or softblock or unfollow me, that is perfectly fine and i understand completely. i only ask if you softblock me that you let me know so that i dont accidentally follow you again, because i dont want to make anyone uncomfortable with my presence.

#⥺ ⥼ ❛ toes ? toes ? toes ? t ( ooc. )#long post //

11 notes · View notes

mylonlysunshine · 2 years

Text

There is your truth and my truth. Neither is wrong as there is no universal truth. Only perspective and lived experiences and people who will listen based on the alliances formed. That is something our friendship ending fight has taught me.

Only you can take something I was venting truly to the universe (bc I didn't know you knew my url still) to do so some of my own 'cleanse' to just forgive and forget because of the negativity I was holding in my heart. Your post full of things you used to think but never got to tell me is refreshing. Everything I was letting go was everything I already told you while you're just laying out a ton of things you were still keeping secret is comical but not surprising because there's always another layer to you. I recognized where I was wrong with you, with A, with it all. The parts you haven't been here for is when I've stepped back, let go of my own resentments and shitty times and have been moving forward w school and apologizedfor the things you say I was shitty for, because I was taking advantage of him. Ive forgiven myself too. Is it a pedestal? Is it self forgiveness?

Im struggling to find a way to feel bothered about what you used to think even when it's making some random digs at sensitive parts of my life I've shared with you or that you've been around for bc we aren't friends anymore so I'm struggling to also understand why you were upset by mine enough to reply other than to show me you're doing great- which would've sufficed without the passive aggressive commentary. Mine weren't to target you or make you mad. Only speak my truth where -like you said- is where I'm fully transparent because it's where I can be and it's just blips of my brain blurbs anyway. I have so many more in my drafts that I never even post. I really meant the end of my post where I hope your life isn't as bad as it was when I knew you in your interpersonal relationships and family. I read what you just said and before the misc commentary you've proven to me that you are doing great and are surrounded by love and that makes me really happy even if you hate me and wish I drowned in the sorrows of myself - I'm nothing but happy for you, your growth, and happy for the people who were able to water you into a flourishing flower.

When you look back, life is wasted trying to erase mistakes we have with people from our past. We can only carry them to reminisce, improve and push ourselves to change. I'm sorry for wasting a few years of your life and causing you so much turmoil. I'm glad you're doing great and have evolved to something bigger and better than when I knew you because during one of our last talks, that really is all I wanted for you and what you wanted for yourself

you came into my "safe (but universally and fully accessible internet) space" to check in on me, I just so happened to do the same to you a few days before you. That doesn't make either of us bad for doing so.

Edit: from my interpretation, you feel peace or satisfaction about me not being wanted. Maybe bc of your hatred towards me? And that schadenfreude alone is exhausting enough to never have the desire to check in on you again after this post. You are surrounded by love and so am I. how could we wish less for someone just tryna navigate ourselves and this simulation?

#words

0 notes

survivorgalaxysedge · 3 years

Text

Episode 5 | Forgive Me Cowtown For I Have Sinned - Ari

ohhhhh i found something JUICY tonight!!! so yesterday the hosts got tired of me constantly asking how many fuel i have and gave me the command to view it, and i knew i was outta points so i was like ok cool we'll check it out tomorrow. TURNS OUT the scorekeeper bot shows you not just your personal points.... but the points of everyone in the game.... and WHOM is number two on that list with 36 entire points? that's right. my best friend keegan. my first thought was wtf ew how did he already recover from my sabotage, i feel zero percent guilty about doing that now! and then my second thought was WAIT...... this is PERFECT. so you can bet i ran right to all three of my allies to be like "hey omg i found something shady :0 didn't keegan say all his fuel got blown up the other day? well i pulled some receipts and it turns out he still has all of it! why would he lie about that??? so sus!" and now i'm laughing because there could not be a more perfect excuse to get him gone!!! i'm not gonna push it any more than that right now - for all i know, we'll prob win the next challenge again - but i've tucked the ammo away in my pocket, planted the ari seed in jonathan and zoe's heads, and i'll let it sit pretty there until i need it. also, i ended up telling ali what i did to keegan simply because he is 100% not going against me and i needed someone to tell me i'm funny, so i also let him know about this plan o mine and that we could use this against sir keegan, which he's so down for. god. i cannot wait to tell mj about all this shit.

Jacob being voted out of NuTrian is the second best thing that could have happened. Preferably Nathan but my OG Andro and Jessie are safe so that’s very good. Now we’ve got a Guess Who challenge which is okay. I don’t care if we get first or second, I just really really don’t want to get last. Let’s keep the good vibes going and be safe for a fifth straight tribal council. Ali told me he scored 11 points, I scored 10. I hope Zoe can whip out her survivor magic with a score of 8 or 9. And then hopefully Jonathan can pull out a good score as well. Nathan and Zach have both scored 12 on this challenge before, so I can only hope they keep up with that and score high again. Gotta make sure those other tribes flop. I’m still incredibly uncertain about how to play this steal a player advantage. It’s possible we ride this 3 tribe split all the way to merge. My guess is merge at 11 or 10. That would be quite a few tribals to go without another swap but it’s certainly possible. Though I could absolutely see a swap now at 12. Two tribes of six, and then merge at 10. A final 3 with 7 jurors perhaps? Either way, I think I’ll hold on to this advantage until it seems likely that I’ll need it. No sense in causing some chaos if it isn’t necessary.

ok so i'm doing well in challenges rn, as best as i can at least, and i feel like that's the only thing keeping me alive bc.... nobody talks to me. i feel like i'm starting every one on one conversation and desperately trying to keep it alive and not be left on read. idk if they're like this with each other or if its just me but !!!!!! it doesnt make me feel good abt potentially losing a challenge. so i will just keep carrying my weight and keeping my cute little head down and pray im just being paranoid<3

youtube

WELL We lost the immunity challenge which is the first loss after four straight immunity wins. That was a nice little break while it lasted. The obvious choice right off the bat is to vote for Ali. Keeps the OG Andro tribe fully intact, and avoids the most possible drama. However, I worry he might have found the Circi idol from his original tribe. Plus whatever advantage he may have gotten from the first challenge of the season. So the alternate thought is to maybe vote for Jonathan or Zoe. I adore Ari would not want to vote them out. It's tempting to throw a vote on one of them in the event of Ali playing an idol, just to keep myself safe. But if Ali doesn't have an idol, that could cause a whole world of issues. On the flip side, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if some or any of my tribe mates decided to throw my name under the bus. I haven't been the most social person and while I have definitely pulled my weight in the challenges, I could see them having their own little group that's willing to throw my under the bus and make things as painless as possible for the rest of them, especially considering they've all said they like Ali a lot. Ahhh this is all so much worse considering I have the hidden immunity idol. I don't want to waste it, but I also don't want to pull a Kellee Kim and go home with it in my pocket.

youtube

it's kind of ridiculous how well this is all going???? why havent they voted me out yet i am running this shit -talked to ali, told him he's gonna be fine we just need to get people to vote for keegan -talked to jonathan, convinced him keegan is the most logical vote "because he's shady" and because it also means we can vote ali easily next time (versus going down to andro 4 and having it get much more messy) -jonathan was like "should we tell ali right before the vote?" and i was like i think you should call him and see where his head is at and we can go from there, jonathan said ok good point, if he says he wants to vote keegan and he also tells you that without any prompting from either of us we know he's real about it -yeeted myself into ali's dms the very second jonathan hung up like OK LISTEN HERE IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY WHEN HE CALLS YOU, HE CANT KNOW I TOLD YOU ANY OF THIS -ali called me half an hour later like "omg we had such a good talk i love jonathan now deadass, i told him exactly what you said to say and he's so down" -presumably in the morning jonathan will call me and say "wow had a great talk with ali he seems cool and great and he said he'd vote keegan, what did he tell you?" and i can say "yeah same he mentioned keegan so i think we're good!" and jonathan will feel like we Did This Together and ali will feel like i Did This For Him and everyone will be in love with me -all i have to do tomorrow is make sure zoe is on board & that she doesn't feel pushed, and prob call keegan and make him some vague promises about working together long term, and then cross my fingers that i don't get blindsided during my editorial meeting at 9pm est i am having so much fun

i just keep thinking about how funny it’s gonna be when we get to merge and mj tells me to vote out all these people i’ve been making f2s with and i’ll be like “okay!!!!<3”

youtube

Not to go back to INV this round, but not much has been going on. I've been keeping up socializing but since we're not going to tribal it's been more quiet than it has been last round. I'm really glad we won though bc I feel vulnerable if we go to tribal again. Cindi seems close to Nathan, and Nathan and Jessie seem closer to each other than they will be to me so I'm worried I'd be an easy vote. So I'm really hoping for a swap or merge tonight, or at least a challenge we can excel in. Don't want it to come down to one point again.

^_^ Okay, so no important updates with this tribe! It's freaking QUIET. I haven't talked to Zach or Silver at ALL since being with this tribe. I've talked to Jules a lot and Asya some, though. I'd like to work with the two of them if possible and if we ever go to tribal here, which I don't want to do because uhhh it's worrisome! Anyway, the only actual update I have is that I found the legacy advantage!!! Randomly at like 2AM I found it. I don't remember what I was doing exactly... I think I just went to watch the Circi round 3 tribal and then the Trian round 4 tribal... and then I think I went to watch the Tribe Swap video to see if there was some sort of announcement made regarded the Oxygen Tank amounts because I was confused why that number was changed more than double. I guess I was also thinking that since the hosts didn't make an announcement that the adventure was resetting at the swap then MAYBE there would be a new twist/advantage inserted elsewhere for this next phase of the game? Now, being the crackhead that I am, of course back on original tribes, I SEARCHED everywhere on the blog that I could think of. Extenders URLs, the source code, hidden hyperlinks - everything. Nothing was there. But in this case, my brain said, hmm, let's just scroll down and see if there's anything in the description of the Tribe Swap Youtube video...and... there was!! I didn't really know what it was at first but when I opened it everything CLICKED! Finally the Reem Cameo from launch night serving a bigger purpose made total sense. After seeing this link in the description though and realizing it was calling back to something we were told about night one, I went back and checked to see if this had been hidden all along, and of course it's literally in the description of the Cast Reveal video!!! and every other video after that!!! Keeping in mind that I found this 11 days into the game, I was like, oh there's definitely some nerd that found this instantly on night 1 so I'm probably just gonna get a message saying nothing here or something like that. Obviously that wasn't the case though. I think nobody found this because I lot of people operate via mobile in these, and Youtube descriptions require an addition click to reveal what's there. Alternatively, for desktop users, who the hell is scrolling down for any reason while you're watching videos from your ORG?? It's nothing something anyone does naturally. So that explains that. Anyway, I'm happy I found it even though it has absolutely no use until Day 39. I will say though that having this and knowing that, it has really motivated me to get to the end of this game. Coincidentally, HOURS before I found this, I had a conversation with Jules about how quiet this tribe has been and that I'd like to start working towards bettering our positions moving forward seeing as there are people here with more/stronger connections than either of us. I just love that I found an advantage that motivates me to start playing this game, exactly how I'd voiced to Jules about feeling a desire to start doing SOMETHING. We love a live narrative!!!! Anyway, I'm not gonna tell Jules about the legacy advantage because it's an advantage that incentivizes people to vote out the owner and have it passed on. I trust Jules, we go YEARS back and have to successful runs as allies under our belts, but this is just something I'd like to keep to myself. Earlier today I also decided that I'm probably never gonna tell Ari about it either if our paths ever (hopefully) cross in this game. I wanna surprise my bestie! At any rate, Jules did tell me that Zach and Asya seem like the type of players that only play on tribal days (at least in this case of this game) which is fine, but I've played a few super intense, intimate, and high-stakes ORGs in the past couple of years which has made me prioritize personal relationships with people over barebones game relationships. This makes dealing with people who aren't that interested in getting to know me or revealing themselves to me a SUPER off-putting experience and a drastic change of pace from what I've become accustomed to. But I'm totally capable of adapting to this environment... I just don't necessarily prefer it. I feel like I have room to connect with Asya on a personal level if given the chance. Zach and Silver I don't know. Although, I do think that if we ever lose immunity here I could for sure spit some game to Silver that would make him believe I want to work with him. I already have an idea of how that conversation goes, and the potential negative consequence of it is practically non-existent on this swap tribe, whereas it could have backfired on me if original Trian lost that third challenge. Anyway, I'll get into that whenever we lose or if I get bored and initiate that chat just to feel something lol

No tribal ever again until merge or swap please. Jessie would be the one I'd want out and I assume Jay would as well but she has Nathan's shard so, like, he'd lose that and then I lose my hope of getting both their shards and misplaying my first idol because I'm not good at survivor

Yayyyy we won immunity. Idk what much else to say except that I got 40 fuel tanks

today i am mad and sad. lost the challenge, was my fault bc purple not pink. no i will not elaborate. now ari jonathan and i have decided to save ali and vote out keegan. i hope it goes well. i am filled with anxiety. i don’t even want keegan to go, we just have to make the decision based on the fact that we don’t want to be seen as a tight alliance going into merge, and keegan can make it look like there was a crack therefore not making us look strong. but he is just sacrificial unfortunately. but we’ll see how it goes. i’m still anxious

Wow we won what a concept See what happens when we don’t throw comps ? Anyways yeah that’s it I guess lol

Honestly I I'm done with these hoes I'm ready to vote off Keegan

This is definitely a very stressful and emotional tribal. I hate that we’re voting for Ali because he is a genuinely fantastic person and under different circumstances I think we could have worked really well together in this game. But when there’s a 4-1 tribe swap and the four of us have absolutely no beef with each other, there’s not a whole lot that can be done. None of my other 3 OG Andro players come across as big move players either. So unless I’m being straight up lied to and am about to get completely blindsided, it’s looking like a unanimous Ali boot. Which is incredibly sad. I really wanted us to win out until merge so we wouldn’t have to vote him out. But such is the game. Keegan signing off (hopefully not for the last time)

#toinfinityandsurvive

0 notes

strfd · 2 years

Note

if you feel inspired, my url? 😇

send URL for opinion. always open.

small note : i just wanted to say that it took me a while to redo yours cause the ORIGINAL reply got deleted when i accidentally zoomed in while trying to edit the coding & it erased like 2k words that i had for you . so please forgive me if it isn’t as long or if things are different . because i REALLY liked what i had written for you before but it’s all been lost & i was trying to find the motivation to rewrite everything . im sorry bby !

MY OPINION ON ;

character in general / how the play them : i mentioned this before but i wanna combine these two together for now until we’ve talked more about your precious little girl & i can have a better that these two parts can be separated . but for now they will be staying together . my apologies !

that being SAID , i do want to say that i love & adore most children muses . i do think it takes a lot of heart & dedication to WRITE a child muse but not only that , people often forget that children DO think vastly different than adults . i have seen far too many children muses ( both canon & OC ) just horribly written because people just don’t KNOW how to write them . they dont understand them . & they aren’t really realistic by any means .

like sure , i get some kids being incredibly bright or smart or quick on their toes , but the fact of the matter is that they are still children . they still have that part of innocent & playful nature to them . regardless of if they are shy or not - & yes , you can see this up in their teens as well . yes , i have also seen far too many people judge a teenager for their behaviour when , in reality , they're also KIDS . like i hate to burst people’s bubbles , but its the sad & hard truth , which is why i’m just generally picky when it comes to people writing kids of any age . younger kids are easier though , i would assume - but in that same regard , i think people need to understand that they are really simple minded often times as well . what i am trying to get at is that writing kids is a VERY special feat , in my opinion because , yea , i would LIKE to see something really realistic .

in your case , from what i have seen , though , i think ari is VERY cute . she’s adorable , she’s sweet , & honestly ? she’s wholesome & real ! i was genuinely really excited to have your promo come across my dash because i love & adore children muses a lot & ari is just ??? cute . cute cute cute CUTE ! honestly , please forgive me because i really did have so much more to say , but my words are just LOST since im still struggling to try to remember what i wrote 3 days ago for you ...

the mun : oh you are honestly such a sweetheart i am not gonna lie . i want you to know that i had like 5 paragraphs for you all written down in the last one and i got so sad because im burnt out now , im so sorry ! but here , allow me to , at the very least , sum up what i had typed up before .

it’s quite rare for me to find another mun who talks JUST as much as me HRNGH . i tend to like overexplain a lot of things , & i get worried that im being annoying or overbearing for a lot of people cause i HAVE been told that in the past & i just go FBLKSDHFG cause of it . cause i dont MEAN to . so when i saw that you do the same thing ??? damn it was like omg same hat same hat same h -

no really i got GENUINELY excited .

anyway , you are very VERY sweet & soft & kind . you remind me of the cute little flowers that i used to see when i was in uni . like daisies actually ! i get awee whenever i see you on the dash or get a message from you . i think ... honestly , i can relate to you in many ways . just the idea & concept of wanting to be kind & wanting to communicate with others .

oh ! also !!! honestly ??? so like i love how you put emojis in your messages a lot !! it’s honestly a very unique & very expressive way of talking to others . while i have other very expressive friends , this is the first time i have seen somebody be THIS expressive in their text & honestly it is just a LOVELY ray of sunshine ! i love it so so SO much ~ i LOVE talking to you , i swear . i promise . im only sad that we met at like the most UNFORTUNATE time since i get REALLY bad burnout during the holidays & i have been excessively burnt out since march of this year & havent been able to recoup T^T . i don’t regret it at all though , im only sorry that i haven’t really reached out more .

anyway . you are a sweat bean ! i look forward to talking to you more . i love your winnie the pooh icons / theme you have going . i grew up with pooh bear & co ( tigger , rabbit , & owl were my favourites growing up & when i was in uni , eeyore had come to be my all time favourite character so like i have a BIG fondness for winnie the pooh )

DO I ;

RP with them : not yet no . but i want to !!

want to RP with them : of course ! i think its a bit funny cause i had JUST talked to somebody else not to long ago ( before i spoke to you ) about how cloud does have a soft spot for kids , he’s just BAD at interacting with them HRNGH . but really im genuinely interested in interacting with you because i think it would be just very neat to have cloud interact with more kids . one of my favourite chapters in the remake was when you get to help out the kids HFBDSALKDHB . funny cause i don’t like kids but i personally think that kids still deserve the best . they’re precious little things . anyway ... yes . please . RP , plot , just TALKING about them would be fine for me . p - please ?

WHAT IS MY ;

overall opinion : a precious bean . 10 / 10 , 5 stars , & 2 enthusiastic thumbs up ! an actual sweetheart . like really .

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

#positivity.#ooc.#earthssprout #/ god this is not as good as the original but i tried .#/ im so sorry T^T

1 note · View note

mountain-soul · 7 years

Note

Like so many of those questions..u should do them all if ur up to it

get toknow me

i know i dont really talkto you guys but i want you to get to know me. so heres 100 questions you canask me, just send a number or make up your own questions.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

· Just A Phase by Adam Craig

· Round Here Buzz by Eric Church

· Heartache on the Dance Floor by Jon Pardi

· Déjà vu by Lauren Duski

· Either Way by Chris Stapleton

· It Just Wont Quit by Meat Loaf

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, whowould it be?

· Emma Watson or Sophia Bush (I cant choose)

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page23, give me line 17.

4: What do you think about most?

· Getting myself out of debt

5: What does your latest text message fromsomeone else say?

· “Headphones!!”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

· Giant T shirt

7: What’s your strangest talent?

· I can pick up a lot of things with my feet

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finishthe sentence)

· Girls kinda suck

· Boys kinda suck

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

· No

10: When is the last time you played the airguitar?

· Lol I couldn’t even tell you

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

· Airport security

· Masked creatures like the Easter Bunny

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

· no

13: What’s your religion?

· protestant

14: If you are outside, what are you mostlikely doing?

· Sitting on the patio drinking and hanging outwith friends

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera orin front of it?

· behind

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favoriteband?

· The Doors

17: What was the last lie you told?

· “Im not mad at you”

18: Do you believe in karma?

· I believe in justice

19: What does your URL mean?

· That the mountains are where I belong

20: What is your greatest weakness; yourgreatest strength?

· Weakness: I trust and forgive far too easilywhen I love someone

· Strength: I love to prove people wrong

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

· Julian Edeleman

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

· Yes

23: How do you vent your anger?

· I usually just lock myself in my room and stayaway from people for awhile. Or I’ll go see hot bartender and go line dancing at my favoritecountry bar

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

· Pretty big vinyl record collection

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone orvideo chatting online?

· Phone call

26: Are you happy with the person you’vebecome?

· A lot happier recently

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

· Hate: anything that sounds like nails on achalkboard

· Love: thunderstorms

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

· What if Im not good enough to be someonesfirst and only choice

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How aboutaliens?

· Ghosts: yes

· Aliens: unsure

30: Stick your right arm out; what do youtouch first? Do the same with your left arm.

· Either side of my desk

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

· Freshly printed paper

32: What’s the worst place you have ever beento?

· Honestly, not a huge fan of NYC. Too muchgoing on there

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

· East Coast for sure

34: Most attractive singer of your oppositegender?

· Sam Hunt

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

· To leave people better than you met them

36: Define Art.

· Whatever makes you feel something, be itmovement, writing, picture, drawing

37: Do you believe in luck?

· Not really

38: What’s the weather like right now?

· Rainy, which is okay because im home from work

39: What time is it?

· 6:01 PM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you evercrashed?

· Yes, and Ive been rear-ended

41: What was the last book you read?

· TheGirl on the Train

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

· Yes

43: Do you have any nicknames?

· Nicki, Nic, Princess, Pumpkin

44: What was the last film you saw?

· Shutter Island

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

· Well I fractured my ankle when I was 10 and shouldvegotten a cast and didnt so still dealing with that 13 years later

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

· yes

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

· Cold brew coffee

· The Bachelorette

· Reading

· Candles

· Old time radio shows

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

· Straight

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

· Lol, lets count them all

50: Do you believe in magic?

· Part of me does

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against peoplewho have done you wrong?

· Lolololololol yeahhh

52: What is your astrological sign?

· Taurus

53: Do you save money or spend it?

· I try to save. But I do save to spend

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

· A salad

55: Love or lust?

· Depends on the person Im with

56: In a relationship?

· Uhhh kind of

57: How many relationships have you had?

· 4

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

· Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

· Work

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet ofyou?

· My pig pillow pet

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

· Always

62: What’s your favourite animal?

· An otter

63: What is your secret weapon to get someoneto like you?

· Playing hard to get

64: Where is your best friend?

· Far away

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs onTumblr.

66: What is your heritage?

· Portuegese, English, Swedish, French Canadian,and Mohawk Indian

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

· Watching The Fosters even though I should havebeen asleep

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

· Lololol I think he has too many

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

· Damn straight

70: Are you the kind of friend you would wantto have as a friend?

· I think so

71: You are walking down the street on yourway to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street.Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do youdo?

· Save the dog dude!

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she hasjust informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tellanyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remainingdays? c) Would you be afraid?

· I would tell my parents, and S.O.

· I would try and do everything I’ve ever wanted to do

· Id be terrified

73: You can only have one of these things;trust or love.

· love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happywhen you hear it?

· That’s What I Like by Bruno Mars

75: What are the last four digits in your cellphone number?

· 6504

76: In your opinion, what makes a greatrelationship?

· Respect, communication, trust, admiration

77: How can I win your heart?

· Corgis

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

· Or more insanity

79: What is the single best decision you havemade in your life so far?

· To not get another restaurant job

80: What size shoes do you wear?

· 8

81: What would you want to be written on yourtombstone?

· “Love her, but leave her wild.”

82: What is your favourite word?

· Love

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mindwhen you hear the word; heart.

· ache

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

· Bless

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

· Objects in the Rearview Mirror by Meat Loaf

86: Basic question; what’s your favouritecolour/colours?

· Gray, very light purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

· A quote that says “Do what makes your soul happy”

88: If you could press a button and makeanyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

· Lolololol too many

89: What would be a question you’d be afraidto tell the truth on?

· Are you over him?

90: One night you wake up because you heard anoise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. Themummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed.What do you do?

· Go back to sleep

91: You accidentally eat some radioactivevegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you withthe super-power of your choice! What is that power?

· Invisibility

92: You can re-live any point of time in yourlife. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your pastwould you like to experience again?

· The last half hour I spent with my Buppa

93: You can erase any horrible experience fromyour past. What will it be?

· All the bullying I experienced

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with themusic-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

· SAM HUNT

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere.You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

· English countryside

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

· Surprisingly no

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

· Oh yeah

98: Ever been on a plane?

· Yes

99: If the whole worldwere listening to you right now, what would you say?

· To quote Cinderella “Have courage and be kind”

1 note · View note

lunarhoseok · 7 years

Text

I wanted to do a follow forever but chances are if I follow you I will follow you till Tumblr deletes my blog so to make it more meaningful I wanted to talk about my fav mutuals who helped me procrastinate through the end of my degree. Also I really like complimenting people so this is for me too. All of you will get an emoji that reminds me of you.

@clotpolesonly my #1 bae. The only one other than jungkook and yixing that gets 💖💖💖 emojis. She still follows me even tho I’m pretty sure she has all my posts blacklisted. Part of the reason I figured out how much I love girls?? Always validates my sexuality no matter how much I flip flop. We’re gross and got a couples app that lets you touch thumb prints and I literally almost passed out when we did it?? Honestly just love you a lot. Your emoji: 💖

@brunettenamjoon my #1 irl bae. Only person I know irl that follows me. Puts up with all my shit. 100% of it. Forced helped me to come to terms with my love for Jungkook. Made me a better person because of it. Flew to New York with me to see bts and spent way more money than we should have. Put up with me when I cried at said concert bc I couldn’t take a picture with virtual jungkook. 100% supportive but is 100% ready to fight me at any time. Your emoji: 😽

@moonlightyeollie she is my child. If you do anything mean to her I will find you and I will come for you. Was the first person outside of previous friendships that I screamed about exo to. I gave her updates on the exo'ridium concert because she could not watch. 10/10 would recommend talking to. Sends me/tags me in baekxing things bless you for it. Your emoji: 🌟

@hobilouu we met at the concert in Newark and it was so nice meeting you??? Bless you for standing with me in front of the cut outs and taking my picture with jungkook and hobi. Also I felt instantly connected to you because our biases are the same! Super cute. Super nice. I’m glad we got to meet!!! Hopefully we can meet again!!! Your emoji: ☀️

@yiffxing I’ve always seen your selfies around and ur supportiveness towards Yixing but I only recently followed you and you followed me back and I literally almost had a heartattack??? So beautiful and such a great person I strive to be like you tbh. Yixing is lucky to have you. Your emoji: ✨

@squishychimchim i started following you when you are dan and phil blog and i was a dan and phil blog and then we both became kpop blogs and im glad we went on this journey together even tho we have never talked rip its fine. ur url is goals and ur posts are so cute and i love you so much. Your emoji: 💫

@gguked honestly bless you. ur part of the reason i was able to come to terms with my jungkook bias. ur photosets are beautiful and i love every single one of them with all of my heart. i am 100% jealous of ur url it has my short aesthetic and is just wonderful plz i love everything about you. Your emoji: 💗

@chengineering honestly i look for your posts in my feed ur pretty much one of the only people whose blog i actually check. ur tags are A++ i always read them they bring me joy tbh. ur url is great im jealous also ur love for yixing and chen????? ideal. more people need to be like you. Your emoji: 🦄

@blushguk also part of the reason i was able to come to terms with my jungkook bias. ur super soft for him and i 100% relate. ur blog is what i went to when i was procrastinating my final assignment tbh like whats better than not doing work??? looking at someone be soft for jungkook. hes so lucky to have you tbh. Your emoji: 💞

@zyxtheking yixing stans are the greatest tbh idk ur love for yixing fuels me???? i love it??? thank you for loving yixing so much he is lucky to have you !!!!! ur tags are super relatable, i too am always crying over yixing. also ur url is 100% true and is the best url in existence. Your emoji: 🐰

@imchangki Followed you on ur haikyuu!! blog and then followed you on this blog cause ur great. thank you for your love for monsta x our boys deserve all the love and you help spread it. bless you i love ur blog so much it makes me happy tbh. Your emoji: 💥

@zhangiyixing honestly ur url tho id literally sell my soul to get that url. also you love yixing and i instantly love anyone that loves yixing okay idk i dont make the rules it just happens. A++++ blog, great aesthetic posts, loves yixing, i feel pressured knowing you follow me tbh i am in love with you????. Your emoji: 🌈

@chanyeolpe i remember when we used to tag each other in tag thingys and then i never actually did the ones you tagged me in so it stopped and im sorry i am Not A Good Person please forgive me and know i loved and appreciated every single time you did tag me im just lazy plz im sorry know i love you a lot. you were also one of the first kpop blogs i followed and i love ur blog a lot?! Your emoji: 😍

#idk what to tag this as?#follow forever #idk #fav mutuals #?#all my mutuals are my fav mutuals tbh #this is gross and embarrassing bt since i am udner the disguise of a url it is Okay

11 notes · View notes

sabakunoo · 7 years

Text

New year thingy late af as usual

SO. I KNOW IM LATE. NEW YEAR WAS 3 DAYS AGO. but you’ll forgive me because you all love me ( right ?? ) anyway!! I’ve been in this fandom (on tumblr) for approximately 4 months and while I’ve got ups and downs getting into that whole tumblr business, you all have been incredible! Both my followers and my roleplay partners and anyone who ever interacted with me! I would do a follow forever list but it would be hypocritical of me since I have a toc that makes me unfollow people who are inactive after 2+ weeks (unless my biased little ass waits a month because they’re a doflamingo or another muse I REALLY enjoy) so, instead of lying and pretending I’ll never unfollow anyone, I’m gonna make a small thingy for the people I’ve met and who (bless their ass) have made my days so incredible since I joined!

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER , MY FAM, THE REAL MVPS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE LONG ASS POST.

@thesealovesme / @shukkou / @that one law blog I don’t remember the url of : I wish we interacted more mang. I love how you write your Luffy so much and the dynamic between him and Crocodile cracks me up! I also adored our interactions between Maverick and Noya :’) All in all you’re a great roleplayer and you brightened up my day so many times I can’t even count them anymore. <3

@despairforme / @autotoxins / @hisashtrayheart : T O B Y I love you. Your characterization ( for ALL of your muses ) is incredibly spot on and I love them all to bits. You even made me consider joining the Bleach fandom (but I’m a shy nugget and haven’t watched/ read it in years) because I love interacting with you so much. Even if we don’t do the crossover thing (because I have no idea how an encounter between Nnoi and Croc would end up in something else than a fight) I still love reading your threads on Nnoi and am on the edge of my seat waiting on your Roci and lil clown <3 I love you a lot, thanks for interacting with me <3

@ask-earlobes / @burger-face / @notarealflamingo / @idiothandle : Frankyyyyyyy I wish you had more time online but I understand rl is a bitch and we can’t just roleplay every hours of the day. Because trust me I would interact with you every hour of any day any time. You are amazing, I love your muses and your crack stuff. Enel is hilarious and so is your portrayal of Doflamingo, interacting with you is always a delight because of how humorous and lighthearted it is. Thank you and I wish you the best for 2017 <3

@nobedsidemanners : I know we’ve just started to interact but ever since I started following evils-champion, I’ve been reading your threads with them and I just --- can I just say that your portrayal of Law is scarily accurate? To be completely honest, Law isn’t even a character I enjoy that much in the One Piece universe, I felt like I was let down post-war and my tiny gay heart still wishes he tampered with Luffy’s body and reveal himself a villain later on ---- but that’s just me. In any case, any time I read you on my dash, my mind is blown with how in character you are. All your threads are amazing and even the one we have started I really love! If anything, you might have rekindled my interest in his character because of how great you are ( I see your Law as even better than the canon one, if that makes sense ). The insights you give about your muse are so detailed and heartfelt I cannot possibly not like your portrayal. I know we didn’t talk ooc but as far as I’m concerned, someone who writes such a « real » muse cannot be anything but awesome. Bless you, I hope you have a great year <3

@magnetiicus / @sadiestic : I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuu I could write forever about how much I love your Sadie-chan but the first things that comes to mind is a loud, heavy moan because I fucking miss you on my dash. I hope life is treating you well and I can’t wait for us to interact again <3

@ask-sir-crocodile and all your other blogs I’m following, which I won’t list here because heavy nsfw. (okay I lied, yall should follow @jiryoku and @shichibukkake for Crocodile naked goodness. 18+ only) : Laura! I know we haven’t interacted a lot (well IC we never-) but every time we talked I was always on the edge of my seat because you are the FIRST Sir Crocodile I really enjoy (outside of mine because I’m a biased asshole) Your many blogs about him are the highlights of my days all too often and I just want to thank you for all the amazing content you provide to this fandom. Talking about theories with you is a blast and just like some others of my followers who I discuss theories with, you sometimes made me reconsider / tweak my stuff and it’s just so great? In any case, you might not be a rp blog but you totally deserve a spot on my bias list because you’re just really amazing, both IC and OOC. I look up to you a lot and I’m always MIND BLOWN with how handsome you draw that shitty character who took over my life 16 years ago. Bless you and I wish you nothing but the best. Like at least a million dollars and all the love for next year. <3

@evils-champion : First of all, How dare you. Your portrayal is just incredible and any time I see you replied to me I’m literally blushing like a DORK and squealing like a god damn schoolgirl who’s crush just told her she had nice braces. YOU ARE SO AMAZING hahahasdlfkjasd;lkfj. Doflamingo is my second favorite character in the serie and you characterize him so well I’m always holding my breath when I read you and then I fangirl for like 2-3 minutes before WALLS OF TEXTS appear in my mind. I always try to tone it down because I could literally write you 4 pages worth of replies with how much I love your Doflamingo. Thank you for roleplaying with me, thank you for going with my headcanons, thank you for ??? just anything tbh. I love you so dang much okay? I hope you have nothing but the best in 2017. <3

@gravitou / @boneavant / @hellstrings : You have an amazing way around words and I just love to see your writing on my dash. I think you have a real talent with all of your muses too, which adds even more to your appeal as a roleplayer :) I wish we interacted more but I really enjoy seeing you on my dash and reading your stuff, on any of your blogs. Hope you have a great year <3

@shiapolux : I know we don’t interact a lot but I find Shia and your art to be absolutely adorable. Croc also thinks that much ;D You’re a gem in this fandom and I’m glad we talk here and there and roleplay as well. I wish you all of what you want in 2017 and then some <3

@scarlethaki : IM BIASED FOR UUUUUUUU. I LOVE AKANE SO MUUUUUUUUCH. That sassy piece of shiiiiiit I can’t believe how -- I mean Croc likes her????? even if he pretends not to? I told you many times, I’m not fan of characters who are related to canon but in Akane’s case I just??? completely forget about it lmao. Because her personality is so rich, so flavorful I cannot do anything but express my love for her. Your OC is, in my opinion, one of the realest , most heartfelt original character in this fandom. Sorry, I don’t mean to depreciate anyone but I just really really really really love Akane. I love a LOT of other OCS but the dynamic between Akane and my muses is just too good for me to ignore. Even with Noya jfc. She’s the kind of character that can pretty much interact with anyone, she would be a very canon One Piece character too, in my opinion. I hope no one feels left out because I said that, my love for your muses is strong and Akane just has a special place in my heart <3

@beastyhound : V A L. Val, I feel you and I are way similar in roleplays. We both have an undying love for darker themes and we both are as masochistic as sadistic with our muses. You are me, I swear. I just love to interact with you both on Croc and Noya, and I’ll probably enjoy it too when I finally get my Blackbeard blog’s going. You are an amazing writer, oh so self-indulgent but tbh there’s nothing I dislike about that. We’re both greedy for what we love and we reap what we sow and I just?? Really love you. Michi is an amazing muse and I want to applaud you for keeping him consistent. I’ve seen many « crazy » ocs in my time who were just crazy for the sake of being crazy but your portrayal is always consistent. God knows how hard it is to have a volatile muse and keep it for long but you do it with such ease ( or so it appears ! ) in your roleplays that I am literally awestruck when I read your replies. I love you so much, I hope you spend 2017 doing all the things you like <3

@missprissyperona / @ask-perona / @peronasnegativehollow / @sableofmany : PAULA im a terrible friend and I know it. I love your Perona, I love you so much but I have a hard time coming up with replies between Croc and Perona in our threads lately. Croc is just snobbing them and I hate it but I don’t want to give you half assed replies so they’re just sitting in my drafts :C Either way!!!! YOU ARE STILL, TO THIS DAY, THE MOST WELCOMING PERSON IN THIS COMMUNITY. You made me open up to the rest of everyone here because of how social and positively persistent you were in communicating with me. ( for lack of better word, persistent, because I’m terrible at keeping in touch with people but you always come talk to me, which I REALLY appreciate ) I love you a whole damn lot as well as your many blogs and muses <3

@tenaxmiles : I don’t have a lot to say here because we only have one thread but I really love Katey on my dash :’) Especially her interactions with Michi and Loni. Rip. Sorry Katey, you’re good angst fodder.

@worldsmostdangerous : - Careless whisper plays in the distance - Ayy gurl ;D . Ah, Helena. I could ramble about how much I love your Dragon for hours. I love the way you portray this obscure character so much. There’s little about him known in canon but I’ll be really disappointed in Oda if he doesn’t base his portrayal on yours. You gave him life and made me love him and get even more interested in the revolutionary army than I already was because of my headcanons. Bless you and I hope you get everything you want in 2017 and then some <3

@7hits / @salamandcr : SQUINTS LOUDLY AT U. Gimme the Salamandcr I love her so much. Giant girls who antagonize Crocodile are a+ in my books. LOVE ME. ( I love you ). Wish you an amazing new year <3

@chillin-at-partys-bar : I miss Shanks and I miss you! I hope life is treating you well and I hope we get to interact again <3 Our exchanges are either hilarious or angsty af and I love the dichotomy between the two and how the dynamic is evolving. Bless you and I wish you nothing but the best in 2017! <3

@menagerie-rp : May I just reiterate my love for your Rocinante? He was a character I didn’t love all that much and didn’t care for, to be honest, but your portrayal made me love him. I love the interactions we had and hope we can rp again in the near future! I know I don’t talk much OOC but just like you I’m a bit of a shy nugget. Either way, I just want to tell you that you are always welcome to interact with me and I will keep sending you memes when I see you pop on my dash because I really love your characterization and you in general <3

@alabasti : TRUST ME. BEST VIVI. I’ve been roleplaying Croc for over 11 years and you wouldn’t believe the number of terribly ooc vivi I’ve met in that time. ( Going to celebrate 12 years in february, with Croc as a muse ! ) ANYWAY. I’ve always been turned off to rp with Vivi in general because of all those self-inserting mary sues I’ve met and I was reluctant at first to interact with you because of that but you BRING HER TO LIFE instead of bringing your life into her, which I cannot thank you enough for. I’ve never met such a dedicated roleplayer for Vivi that aimed for something else than getting herself captured and f*cked by Croc :’) And though we have a rp that is similar to that theme, Vivi is still in character and I really, really, really appreciate that. I am interacting with a VIVI, finally, after nearly 12 years. It’s so good I want to sob. Thank you so much and I hope we can have a lot more roleplays in the future. I wish you an amazing new year <3

AND TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS ON HERE OR @aquasphyxia, I LOVE YOU ALL! THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ME AND ENDORSING MY PORTRAYAL OF CROCODILE. I HOPE WE HAVE A BLAST INTERACTING IN 2017!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

#( ooc; updates. )

34 notes · View notes

emperor-nasch · 7 years

Text

On Why I Left the YGO Fandom

I was going to put this under a cut, but read more’s never do what they’re supposed to do on my page, so I’m forced to leave it as-is if I want to post it at all. Apologies in advance because it’s a very, veeeery long post and contains abusive experience and behaviors. And the url of my abuser (I left his accomplice out because she’s a fucking whiny bitch and would manage to yet again verbally attack me for once again putting this fat fuck’s name out there as an abuser).

Also, please don’t reblog. If you have something to say, reply or ask/im me.

So, as promised, I finally got my thoughts collected and I guess?? Somewhat organized?? On what’s been plaguing me for several months now. I know I’m basically beating a dead horse because, by now, I should be over this (because god forbid something happen to me that actually affected me long-term, I’m just being dramatic for attention, right?) but this is something I feel needs to be addressed, for my own peace of mind. So, no better time than the present I suppose.

It’s probably far from obvious, but I’ve been part of the ygo fandom for a decent while - 2011-ish? I watched the original as a kid, but was reintroduced by my now-ex through the abridged series. Along the way I’ve been blessed to meet some fantastic people, no doubt. People I wish didn’t have to see this kind of bullshit coming from me. But some of those people turned out to be…anything but fantastic.

I’m tired of not naming names, out of fear of being accused yet again of starting a witch hunt (since apparently that’s something people reaaaallly like to do these days whenever you have a problem with a nasty creep they consider their best bud and refuse to hear your side of the story) but it’s to the point where I really don’t care what happens. I’m not popular in the fandom, so it isn’t like what I say matters.

There are two-faced, evil people in this fandom and all I wanted (and still want) to do is protect others from ending up in the same situations that I found myself in.

I’m the victim of two long years of mental/emotional abuse and manipulation. My abuser is someone a lot of people probably know of, if not know well, especially those of you from the Chicago area part of the fandom. He does (or did, idk now that it’s airing Wednesdays) livestreams of new episodes. He is an enormous, loud-mouthed pervert and not-yet-convicted pedophile. He enjoys reading, writing, defending, and sharing child porn. He is narcissistic, so deeply in love with pleasuring himself (both literally and figuratively) and taking nobody’s wants and needs into consideration but his own. He is a chronic gaslighter. He fetishizes wlw and objectifies women in general (like any typical misogynistic slob). He think no means yes, and “stay away from me, I don’t want to talk to you” means “please keep trying to contact me, I actually do want to talk, I’m just being silly uwu.” He is someone whose actions have been defended by people who think “he’s just dense” instead of an abuser. His actions and the actions of those who love and adore him are ignored or justified by people who are obviously as like-minded as he is. And he hides behind the ruse of being an all out card game whiz and aficionado so people will never know what he does behind closed doors.

He goes by voices/of/chaos (slashes on purpose, btw), and I know it’s going to either be a surprise or sound like a lie because of how well liked he is here.

Primarily, he’s the reason I’ve made this choice. Him and the people who, despite knowing the kind of shit he’s done to me, still refuse to acknowledge him as the abuser that he is and choose to stand by him and support his actions. The same people are people I thought - and really, truly had hoped - were my friends, people I poured my heart and soul into and let my faith rest upon. Instead, I was given that trust back and basically told to choke on it.

It started when I’d asked to be part of the ygo panel he runs at acen. I thought it would be fitting, with how passionate I was at the time about the latter spinoffs and about things in general. However, I was told flat-out that I was “not good enough” to be on HIS panel because of my biases toward certain series and dislike of others (biases and dislikes he and I shared, mind you). Basically, because I’ve never seen gx and don’t like dm, my knowledge base was not adequate to host a panel. Yet, his gf, who now hates ygo and is stongly biased about certain series (like me), who sits up there pouting, angry, drunk (she was last year, anyway) in complete and utter silence, is definitely qualified for the job. Ok. Sure. That sounds about right. He refused to see how ridiculous the situation was (he was told this by more than just me, for the record) and instead accused me of only wanting a discounted badge - “I can’t give discounted badges to just anyone” emphasis on anyone. That was a low-fucking-blow and was the single thing that made it impossible for me to ever forgive him.

Of course, that was a more recent issue. Going back to the start, our friendship started off with me being almost duped into a poly relationship without my consent or knowledge. I was told they were breaking up and that she knew about it. I was told it was ok. That she was ok with it. What I wasn’t told was that no, they weren’t breaking up, she didn’t know what he was doing, and that his plans were to date me while he dated -and lived with- her. I didn’t find out any of that until way after the fact. To top it off, he went behind her back to try to accomplish this (she was on vacation at the time). I was then blamed for their relationship problems (that existed years before me), for making her hate ygo, for ruining their relationship, and so on and so on. He made sure to tell me this constantly, telling me my name was a ‘trigger’ for her. So now I’m a homewrecking bitch for ruining their 7+ year relationship.

And despite all of this, he actually fantasized (his words exactly, I shit you not) about me and his gf bonding over our ‘hate’ towards him. Like, excuse me? Back the fuck up mate.

If I had a nickel for every time he told me how “important” I was to him, I’d have millions in the bank. But for as much as I was told I was important, I never actually believed him. Our friendship was kept a secret online. No interactions on any social media, up until the end where he got very childish and asinine about it, and then those were only meant to shut me up. I’d asked hundreds of times to at least be tagged in things, at least mentioned half as much as he talked about the other girls in his life. He never listened. I continued to be a secret.

When confronting him on my feelings (because he only ever talked about his feelings) I was always met with rage, destructive anger, denial, unnecessary profanities being hurled my way, utter disrespect. One can only take that shit for so long. Being told how you changed someone’s life for the better in one breath, then being shit on and screamed at and told you’re not good enough in the next, being kept a secret, being denied any sort of important places or duties that he bestowed upon his other girls.

In the end, I was told I was making it all up. “I don’t know where the fuck you’re getting this.” “You must be messed up in the head.” I was told I just hated him and wanted him to suffer. Everything that went wrong became my fault and my fault alone. Actions once considered ‘gross’ and ‘awful’ by someone I considered a friend were now just a result of him being dense. DENSE. Because knowingly fucking with my head, saying I’m messed up in the head, yeah that’s just the density speaking. How didn’t I think of that before??!!

This friend put herself between us, on her own accord, then acted as if I asked her to do it. She claimed she didn’t want to speak to either of us for a while. Of course that actually meant just me because she had no problem joining him for the stupid movie that came out in January or being up his ass on the chat that Sunday. Sure, the movie was pre-planned, but at least try not to make it obvious you’re only upset at me by making sure he’s in the pictures you posted.

I was told I upset her because I ‘guilt-tripped’ her with fears of abandonment. My hands were slapped for daring to upset her, but when I mentioned how bullshit it was to see her out having a good ol’ time with the fat fuck, my concerns were passed off as nothing. As always, my needs and concerns must be pushed aside for everyone else’s.

When I finally got sick and fucking tired of him, I asked him to leave me along and to not speak to me, ever again. Funny, that was followed up by half a dozen messages all lovey-dovey (and passive-aggressive, toward the end). I thought he would have stopped after I didn’t answer the first few. But his persistence (or should I say d e n s i t y ) was incredible. Each message got sappier and sappier. The last one, though, was bitter and angry, after I once again told him to leave me alone for good. “I thought talking to me would be better than talking to no one.”

A few weeks go by. I begin to tell my story. Tell what happened. I’m accused of starting a witch hunt by someone who once tried to help me. She threatened to leave the chat - which stirred the pot big time, everyone freaked out. I threatened to leave, no one gave a fuck. So, yet again, I was made out to be the big bad guy because I upset the ygo princess by talking about the guy who abused me to the point of exhaustion. I didn’t threaten him. I didn’t ask people to go out and attack him. I was simply sharing my experiences with people who genuinely wanted to know what had happened. All it took was one wailing princess to change everyone’s demeanor.

So I did what I should’ve done after this all happened in the first place - I left. Told everyone they could have their safe space back that I was accused of ruining. And ever since, I really haven’t been too emotionally invested in anything ygo.

These people took something that once felt like a niche I belonged in, and made it hostile and unwelcoming. They say the ygo fandom is a fandom full of mentally ill people who are finding solace in something wonderful. For a while, I believed that. I know better now.

For every person that is genuine in that fandom, there’s ten others who are shitty, who make other fans fucking miserable. I was abused, my spirit beaten and broken, and all I got was several kicks in the ass and everyone turning their heads away from it all. This fandom is toxic. This fandom is littered with people who manipulate and abuse and puke their social justice bullshit over something that’s supposed to be enjoyable. It’s a fandom where popular people are exempt from being called out on shitty behavior. Where if you have enough followers, enough of a fanbase, you’re immortal. I can’t change that. The only thing I can do is remove myself and go somewhere that I consider a safe space. And this fandom isn’t it.

There are…exceptions, of course. Those characters I fell in love with prior to this shit hitting the fan are characters that will forever mean the world to me. Characters who I don’t have to associate with these people. I’m pretty sure there’s only one, but one is enough. He’s been my safe space, my heaven, the one thing that for six years hasn’t changed and has always been there for me.

But the rest? Y’all can have it. I don’t want any part of it anymore. All thanks to two rotten ass people who can’t even admit to their own wrongdoings.

As a final note to those of you who I continue to follow here, I promise you aren’t the ones at fault. If anything, you’re the ones who have kept me grounded. I’m going to continue following you guys regardless of my feelings toward the fandom. Thank you for being decent human beings. I couldn’t ask any more of you.

0 notes