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surveyhoursss · 3 years

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145.

This is a very long list of phobias - from very common to very rare. Bold everything you have.

(I know phobias are very intense, but for the sake of the survey, I will be bolding fears rather than full blown phobias <3)

Ablutophobia - Fear of washing, bathing or cleaning.

Acarophobia - Fear of itching.

Achluophobia - Fear of darkness.

Acousticophobia - Fear of sound.

Acrophobia - Fear of heights.

Aerophobia - Fear of air.

Agliophobia - Fear of pain.

Agoraphobia - Fear of open spaces or crowds.

Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects.

Alektorophobia - Fear of chickens.

Alliumphobia - Fear of garlic.

Allodoxaphobia - Fear of opinions.

Amathophobia - Fear of dust.

Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car.

Americophobia - Fear of American people and things.

Anatidaephobia - Fear of ducks (fear that the duck is watching you).

Androphobia - Fear of men.

Anemophobia - Fear of wind.

Anginophobia - Fear of angina or choking.

Anglophobia - Fear of English people and things.

Anthophobia - Fear of flowers.

Anthropophobia - Fear of people or society.

Antlophobia - Fear of floods.

Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched.

Apiphobia - Fear of bees.

Aquaphobia - Fear of water.

Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.

Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.

Arithmophobia - Fear of math.

Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightning.

Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness.

Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection.

Athazagoraphobia - Fear of forgetting or being forgotten.

Atychiphobia - Fear of failure.

Aulophobia - Fear of flutes.

Autophobia - Fear of being alone.

Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria.

Ballistophobia - Fear of bullets.

Barophobia - Fear of gravity.

Bathophobia - Fear of stairs or steep.

Batrachophobia - Fear of amphibians.

Belonephobia - Fear of needles.

Bibliophobia - Fear of books.

Bogyphobia - Fear of the Bogeyman.

Botanophobia - Fear of plants.

Bromidrosiphobia - Fear of body odour.

Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.

Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors.

Cibophobia - Fear of food.

Chaetophobia - Fear of hair.

Chionophobia - Fear of snow.

Chirophobia - Fear of hands.

Chloephobia - Fear of newspapers.

Chorophobia - Fear of dancing.

Chromophobia - Fear of colors.

Chronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks.

Chronophobia - Fear of time.

Chrysophobia - Fear of gold.

Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces.

Clinophobia - Fear of bed.

Coitophobia - Fear of sex.

(ooh yuh can I get a hell yeah for being molested as a child/s)

Coprophobia - Fear of poop.

Coprostasophobia - Fear of constipation.

Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.

Cryophobia - Fear of ice or cold.

Cyberphobia - Fear of computers.

Cynophobia - Fear of dogs.

Decidophobia - Fear of making decisions.

Deipnophobia - Fear of dining.

Dendrophobia - Fear of trees.

Dentophobia - Fear of dentists.

Dextrophobia - Fear of having objects to your right.

Didaskaleinophobia - Fear of school.

Dikephobia - Fear of justice.

Domatophobia - Fear of houses.

Doraphobia - Fear of fur.

Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents.

Ecclesiophobia - Fear of church.

Ecophobia - Fear of the home.

Electrophobia - Fear of electricity.

Elurophobia - Fear of cats.

Emetophobia - Fear of vomit.

Eosophobia - Fear of dawn.

Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers.

Ergophobia - Fear of work.

Erythrophobia - Fear of blushing.

Equinophobia - Fear of horses.

Eleutherophobia - Fear of freedom.

Febriphobia - Fear of fever.

Francophobia - Fear of French people and things.

Frigophobia - Fear of being cold.

Geliophobia - Fear of laughter.

Geniophobia - Fear of chins.

Genuphobia - Fear of knees.

Gephyrophobia - Fear of bridges.

Gerascophobia – Fear of getting old.

Germanophobia - Fear of German people and things.

Globophobia - Fear of balloons.

Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.

Gophobia - Fear of marriage.

Graphophobia - Fear of writing.

Gymnophobia - Fear of nudity.

Gynophobia - Fear of women.

Hedonophobia - Fear of pleasure.

Heliophobia - Fear of the sun.

Hemophobia - Fear of blood.

Herpetophobia - Fear of reptiles.

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia - Fear of number 666.

Hierophobia - Fear of priests.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words.

Hodophobia - Fear of travelling.

Homichlophobia - Fear of fog.

Hydrophobia - Fear of water.

Iatrophobia - Fear of doctors.

Insectophobia - Fear of insects.

Ichthyophobia - Fear of fish.

Iridophobia - Fear of rainbows.

Italophobia - Fear of Italian people and things.

Kathisophobia - Fear of sitting down.

Kenophobia - Fear of void.

Kinetophobia - Fear of motion.

Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms.

Koumpounophobia - Fear of buttons.

Lachanophobia - Fear of vegetables.

Laliophobia - Fear of stuttering.

Leukophobia - Fear of the color white.

Ligyrophobia – Fear of loud noises.

Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.

Linonophobia - Fear of string.

Lockiophobia - Fear of childbirth.

Logophobia - Fear of reading.

Lutraphobia - Fear of otters.

Lyssophobia - Fear of insanity.

Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking.

Mastigophobia - Fear of beating.

Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.

Metathesiophobia – Fear of change.

Microphobia - Fear of small things.

Musicophobia - Fear of music.

Musophobia - Fear of mice.

Myrmecophobia - Fear of ants.

Mysophobia - Fear of dirt and germs.

Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things.

Neophobia - Fear of new things.

Nelophobia - Fear of glass.

Nephophobia - Fear of clouds.

Noctiphobia - Fear of the night.

Nomophobia - Fear of being without a phone.

Nosocomephobia - Fear of hospitals.

Nostophobia - Fear of returning home.

Numerophobia - Fear of numbers, math or calculating.

Obesophobia - Fear of gaining weight.

Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.

Odontophobia - Fear of teeth.

Olfactophobia - Fear of smell.

Ombrophobia - Fear of rain.

Omphalophobia - Fear of belly buttons.

Oneirophobia - Fear of dreams.

Onomatophobia - Fear of names.

Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes.

Optophobia - Fear of opening one’s eyes.

Ornithophobia - Fear of birds.

Ostraconophobia - Fear of shellfish.

Panophobia - Fear of everything.

Papyrophobia - Fear of paper.

Paraskevidekatriaphobia – Fear of Friday the 13th.

Pathophobia - Fear of disease.

Pedophobia - Fear of children.

Pediophobia - Fear of dolls.

Peniaphobia - Fear of poverty.

Pentheraphobia - Fear of mothers-in-law.

Pharmacophobia - Fear of drugs.

Phasmophobia - Fear of ghosts.

Philematophobia - Fear of kissing.

Philophobia - Fear of love.

Phobophobia - Fear of being afraid.

Phonophobia - Fear of sound.

Plutophobia - Fear of money.

Podophobia - Fear of feet.

Pogonophobia - Fear of beards.

Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple.

Potophobia - Fear of drink.

Pteronophobia - Fear of feathers.

Pteridophobia - Fear of ferns.

Pteromerhanophobia - Fear of flying.

Pupaphobia - Fear of puppets.

Pyrophobia - Fear of fire.

Ranidaphobia - Fear of frogs.

Rhabdophobia - Fear of magic.

Russophobia - Fear of Russian people and things.

Samhainophobia - Fear of Halloween.

Scolionophobia - Fear of school.

Scoptophobia - Fear of being stared at.

Selenophobia - Fear of the moon.

Siderophobia - Fear of stars.

Sinophobia - Fear of Chinese people and things.

Sociophobia - Fear of social evaluation.

Somniphobia - Fear of sleep.

Symmetrophobia - Fear of symmetry.

Syngenesophobia - Fear of relatives.

Tachophobia - Fear of speed.

Taphophobia - Fear of being buried alive.

Technophobia - Fear of technology.

Thalassophobia - Fear of ocean or other deep open waters.

Theophobia - Fear of God.

Thermophobia - Fear of heat.

Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder.

Toxiphobia - Fear of poisons.

Triskaidekaphobia - Fear of the number 13.

Trypanophobia - Fear of injections.

Trypophobia - Fear of small compact holes.

Turophobia - Fear of cheese.

Urophobia - Fear of urinating.

Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women.

Verminophobia - Fear of germs.

Vestiphobia - Fear of clothes.

Wiccaphobia - Fear of witches and witchcraft.

Xanthophobia - Fear of the color yellow.

Xenophobia - Fear of strangers or foreigners.

Zelotypophobia - Fear of jealousy.

Zoophobia - Fear of animals.

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baddadjokez · 5 years

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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.The shovel was a ground breaking invention.A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.To write with a broken pencil is pointless.I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.What should you do if you are cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.Sausage puns are the wurst.What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.What do you call a french pig? Porque.What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.How do trees access the internet? They log on.Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it.The future,the present and the past walked into a bar.Things got a little tense.I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.Read enough of our funny puns, and you'll be punstoppable.Yesterday a clown held the door for me. It was a nice jester.I used to go fishing with Skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.The wedding was so emotional even the cake was in tiers.What does a house wear? A dress.Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Since they are 2 tired.I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.It would be truly alarming.Why is a skeleton a bad liar? You can see right through it.What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid.A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch line!An untalented gymast walks into a bar.Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.I was accused of being a plagiarist, their word not mine.My friends say they don’t like skeleton puns. I should put more backbone into them.Let me FILL you in on my trip to the dentist.Why does the singer of Cheap Thrills not want us to Sia?Traveling on a flying carpet is a rugged experience.Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.The old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner,there were strings attached.Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.My new diet consists of aircraft, its a bit plane.Have you ever tried to milk a cow which has been cut in half? Udder madness.Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in.Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.Models of dragons are not to scale.Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.Don’t trust people that do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.A persistent banker wouldn’t stop hitting on me so I asked him to leave me a loan.I ordered a book of puns last week, but i didn't get it.People say i look better without glasses but i just can't see it.Don’t judge a meal by the look of the first course. It’s very souperficial.I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America grate again.I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.What do you call a young musician? A minor.Police were called to a daycare yesterday, where a 2-year-old was resisting a rest.If artists wear sketchers do linguists wear converse?I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz- sight.I flipped a coin over an issue the other day, it was quite the toss-up.I got hit in the head with a can of soda? Luckily it was a soft drink.I heard that the post office was a male dominated industry.Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.What do you mean June is over? Julying.Why is Kylo Ren so angry? Beause he’s always Ben Solo.These reversing cameras are great. Since I got one I haven’t looked back.The candle quit his job because he felt burned out.Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job, now he’s just a handyman.Going to bed with music on gave him sound sleep.A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!I met some aliens from outer space. They were pretty down to earth.The plane flight brought my acrophobia to new heights.My phone has to wear glasses ever since it lost its contacts.I, for one, like Roman numerals.How do mountains see? They peak.The show was called Spongebob Squarepants but everyone knows the star was Patrick.This is not alcohol, water you thinking?!Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.The earth's rotation really makes my day.If I buy a bigger bed will I have more or less bedroom?Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.Two ropes were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-frayed.What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care.After eating the ship, the sea monster said, I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.I had a pun about insanity but then I lost it.He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel.Why does the man want to buy nine rackets? Cause tennis too many.Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.If I got paid in lots of Pennes I would make loads of pasta.I thought I saw a spider on my laptop, but my friend said it was just a bug.A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.Luckily he still made the cast.The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.Simba, you're falling behind. I must ask you to Mufasa.I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.The bomb didn't want to go off. So it refused.The sore mummy needed a Cairo-practorI feel sorry for shopping carts. They’re always getting pushed around.The display of still-life art was not at all moving!On Halloween October is nearly Octover.Pig puns are so boaring.Why couldn’t the dead car drive into the cluttered garage? Lack of vroom.What do you call Samsung's security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy.What does Superman have in his drink? Just ice.How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.The safe was invented by a cop and a robber. It was quite a combination.What do you do when balloons are hurt? You helium.One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.If people ask how many puns I made in Germany I reply, "nein"Did you hear about the invention of the white board? It was remarkable.If Donald Trump becomes president, America is going toupee.Can February March? No, but April May.I hate Russian Dolls, they are so full of themselves.What do you do to an open wardrobe? You closet.The magazine about ceiling fans went out of business due to low circulation.So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.A backwards poem writes inverse.Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.The soundtrack for Blackfish was orcastrated.Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.I used to work at a hairdresser but i just wasn’t cut out for it.Why is metal and a microwave a match made in heaven? When they met, sparks flew.The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.The scarecrow get promoted because he was outstanding in his field.Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.I never understood odorless chemicals, they never make scents.What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.Old skiers never die. They just go down hill.Did you hear about the pun that was actually funny? Neither have we.You know why I like egg puns? They crack me up!Want to hear a pun about ghosts? That's the spirit!I used to make clown shoes… which was no small feat.Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!What happened when the magician got mad? She pulled her hare out!Did you hear about the circus that caught on fire? It was in tents.The one day of the week that eggs are definitely afraid of is Fry-day.A hen will always leave her house through the proper eggs-it.The man who ate too many eggs was considered to be an egg-oholic.All the hens consider the chef to be very mean because he beats the eggs.Eskimos keep all of their chilled eggs inside of the egg-loo.Under the doctor’s advice, the hen is laying off eggs for a few weeks.I had a real problem making a hard-boiled egg this morning until I cracked it.The best time of day to eat eggs is at the crack of dawn.The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.Crossing a cement mixer and a chicken will result in you getting a brick layer.That reckless little egg always seems to egg-celerate when he sees the light turn yellow.Hopefully this egg pun doesn't make your brain too fried or scrambled.Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together. It's hard for them to stay in sink.People using umbrellas always seem to be under the weather.I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.What planet is like a circus? Saturn, it has three rings!Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker. I used to look up to him.Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!I really look up to my tall friends.I hate negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them.Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.It takes guts to make a sausage.Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll “Let It Go”!What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in itWhat do you get when a witch goes to the beach? A sand-witch!Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the mooooo-vies!What did the mommy tomato say to the baby tomato? C’mon, ketchup!Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn’t “peeling” well!What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with!What is a pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrrrr!What does a piece of toast wear to bed? His pa-JAM-as!What does one eye say to the other eye? Something between us smellsWhy did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!What happens when an egg laughs? It cracks up!What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!Why didn’t the teddy bear want dessert? Because he was stuffed!Why can’t you tell a joke while ice skating? Because the ice might crack up!What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!What’s mommy and daddy’s favorite ride at the carnival? A married-go-round!How did Cookie Monster feel after eating all the cookies? Pretty crummy!What do you call a skunk who flies in a helicopter? A smelly-copter!What do you get when you shake a cow? A milkshake!How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut!Why did the bee get married? Because she found her honey!What did the ocean say to their airplane? Nothing, it just waved!Where do eskimo pigs live? In pig-loos.What’s a dinosaur called when it’s sleeping? A dino-snore!What did the cookie say to the annoying cookie? Crumb on!Why did Mickey Mouse go up in space? To find Pluto!What does Olaf eat for lunch? Icebergers!What letter is always wet? The C!How do you throw a space party? You planet.How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.Nope. Unintended.The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything."Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.The broom swept the nation away.I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds.What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france? There was nothing but des brie.Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.To write with a broken pencil is pointless.I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison.What should you do if you’re cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? You have a vowel movement.The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.Sausage puns are the wurst.What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.How did Darth Vader know what luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presence.Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.What’s the difference between a bench, a fish, and a bucket of glue? You can’t tune a bench but you can tuna fish. I bet you got stuck on the bucket of glue part.What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan? Because of the tally ban.Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water? Because he meant well.What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.What kind of car does a sheep drive? A lamborghini, but if that breaks down they drive their SuBAHHru.

#dad jokes #puns #jokes

373 notes · View notes

forbidden-sorcery · 4 years

Quote

Aristomenes is a wholesale dealer in supplies for inns. He tells Lucius how he had once rushed to Hypata in Thessaly, the well-known witch-capital, to avail himself of a cheap supply of fresh cheese, of which he had heard. But he was beaten to it by a rival wholesale dealer, Lupus. As he wandered dejectedly to Hypata's bathhouse, he found his old friend Socrates sitting on the ground, in a wretched state, only half-covered by his rags, and looking like a ghost. He asked Socrates what had brought him to this state, who told him that his abandoned wife had given him up for dead. Socrates begged Aristomenes to leave him be, but he pulled him up and took him to the baths, giving him the good wash he had intended for himself. He brought him to an inn, put him to bed, and then gave him a good meal. Eventually he persuaded Socrates to tell what had happened to him. Socrates had gone to Macedonia to make money, but on his way back home he was robbed in Thessaly and relieved of all the money he had made. An elderly innkeeper, Meroe, seemingly took pity on him. She gave him a free meal and then took him to bed, but this was his undoing. He found himself enslaved to her, and he even gave her the clothes from his back that the robbers had left him with. Socrates explained that Meroe was a witch with a wide range of powers. These were characteristically exercised in service of her erotic desire, and could be used even over great distances. She could, for example, make even people in India and Ethiopia fall in love with her. He recounted some individual examples of her power. When an innkeeper-lover of hers had strayed with another woman, she had transformed him into a beaver, so that he would bite off his own genitals, as the beaver does when pursued by hunters. Another innkeeper was her competitor in trade, and so she transformed him into a frog, so that he now swam around in a pot on his own wine, croaking polite greetings to his customers. A lawyer who opposed her in court was transformed into a ram, continued to plead his cases in this form. When the pregnant wife of one of the lovers she had taken spoke abusively of her, she sealed up her womb. Now her womb was massively distended with a fully grown eight year old child trapped within. Public outrage at her activities reached such a pitch that the city decreed to stone her, but before it could do this she called up ghosts to make binding magic and sealed all the citizens up in their own homes. She would only let them out once they had sworn they would no longer move against her. But the ringleader's house she sent flying to another town 200 miles distant, and threw it down before the city gate. Aristomenes urged that he and Socrates should get a good night's sleep before escaping from Hypata the next day, but Socrates fell asleep before he had even finished making the case. A nervous Aristomenes pushed his bed up against the doors of the bedroom. In his anxiety he found it difficult to get to sleep, but was rudely awakened when the doors were burst open with force, and his bed turned upside down, with Aristomenes himself left sprawled underneath it. Cowering here he peeped out and observed a terrible scene. Two old women entered, one with a sponge and a sword, the other with a lamp: Meroe and her sister or colleague Panthia. With arch words, Meroe showed the sleeping Socrates to Panthia, the lover who had dared to desert her in her 'youthful innocence'. Meroe plunged the sword into Socrates' neck up to the hilt, catching the welling blood in a leather bottle. She then stuck her right hand into the wound, delved around in Socrates' innards, and pulled out his heart, whereupon he uttered a deathly gurgle. Panthia stopped the wound with the sponge and spoke an incantation over it: 'Sponge, born in the sea, pass not over a river.' The two women lifted the bed from Aristomenes, straddled over his face and evacuated their bladders, soaking him in their foul urine. As they left through the doorway the broken doors returned to their hinges, and the bolts to their positions. Once the terrified Aristomenes had recovered his wits, he attempted to escape, fearful that he would be held responsible for his companion's murder. But he could not persuade the inn's obstreperous porter to let him out. In despair he returned to the room and determined upon suicide. But as he attempted to hang himself using the mouldy rope with which his bed had been strung, it snapped and he fell down on top of Socrates whereupon, to his amazement, his companion awoke and began hurling abuse at the porter who had come to see what all the noise was about. In delight, Aristomenes hugged Socrates, until the latter pushed him back for smelling like a public toilet. Aristomenes at once urged Socrates to get up so they could make an early start to their escape from Hypata. As they made their way Aristomenes scrutinized Socrates' neck for a wound. He could see none, and persuaded himself that what he had witnessed the night before had all been a ghastly nightmare. However, Socrates for his own part confided in Aristomenes that he had dreamed he had been jugulated, and his heart pulled out. The weary travelers stopped under a plane tree to take the breakfast Aristomenes had brought with him. But as Socrates tucked into his bread and cheese he began to grow as pale as boxwood. After eating, he was over taken by an unbearable thirst. He bent over a nearby streamer to drink from it, and as he did so the wound in his throat yawned opened and the sponge leapt out, with a trickle of blood, and he fell dead into the water. Artistomenes dragged the body out and quickly buried it before running off. As if guilty of the murder himself, he took on the life of an exile, moved to a new part of Greece, and contracted a new marriage.

Daniel Ogden - Night’s Black Agents: Witches, Wizards and the Dead in the Ancient World

#Daniel Ogden #witchcraft #Roman mythology #The Golden Ass

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kaiyodei · 5 years

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facebook deleted my note so i’ll keep one here

---things that cure, treat, thwart or slow cancer. effective or not, in vitro or not. with varying degrees of toxicity and processing-- thangs big pharma don’t want you to know.

714X(trimethylbicyclonitramineoheptane chlorid) Abelmoschus esculentus (Okra) Abrus Acidianus virus Actaea racemosa (or black cohosh) Acupuncture ADOPTIVE cell transfer AHCC Arctostaphylos uva-ursi alkline diet Allium cepa (extract) Allium nigrum (Black Garlic) ? Allium sativum? (Maillard reaction) Almonds alterd polio/polio vaccine Amaryllidaceae (spider lillies) Amblyomma cajennense( saliva compounds from Cayanne tick) Amomum subulatum (black cardamom) Elettaria (green) Andrographis paniculata anethum graveolens(dill) Annona muricata (soursoup) all other Annona genus/ Annonaceae family anti fungals? Anti-cancer psychotherapy antibiotics Antineoplaston therapy ANTI NEO PLASTONS Apitherapy Applied kinesiology Apricots (kernels/seeds) ARGININE (1-ARGININE arsnic trioxcide Artemisia annua ( wormwood/sweet annie/sweet sagewort/annual mugwort or annual wormwood) ARTEMISININ AVEMAR Bach flower remedies Bhasmas minerals, metals and jems barefoot walks in the connifer forest battery acid (*only listed in case it -does- destroy tumors in a petridish) Bean sprouts bee propolis beer(hops?) Berlinia grandiflora BETA GLUCANS, 1, 3, 6 biblical diet bioactive polysaccharides BIOMAGNETISM black cumin (Bunium bulbocastanum? Nigella sativa ?) Black salve Blackberries bleach (possibly, in vitro only)https://www.cancertutor.com/chlorine_dioxide/ Blood (Turtle, Alligator, ) Blueberries boswellic acids (Frankensence) BOVINE CARTILAGE Breuss diet Buckwheat Budwig diet Caesium chloride Cancell Cancer guided imagery canna Cannibis oil Capsicum annuum (Guinea spice, cow-horn pepper, aleva, bird pepper) Carctol carotene Carum carvi (caraway) Cashews Catharanthus roseus (rosy periwinkle/teresita) Cavia porcellus (guniea pig ,with ritual) chelaton therapy Chelidonium majus. Chlorella chlorophyll chloroquine Citrus limon Osbeck (lemon) Citrullus lanatus (watermellon) Clark's "Cure for All Cancers" coffie enemas Coix lacryma-jobi (jacob's tear/job's tear) Coley's Vaccine therapy Colloidal silver colorpuncture CONJUGATED LINOLEIC ACID OR CLA Contreras Therapy Convallaria majalis Convolvulus (bindweed) CoQ10, Coral calcium Coriandrum sativum (corriander) Craniosacral therapy Crocus sativus (safforn) Croton lechleri Cruciferous vegetables Cucumis sativus (cucumber) cucurbitacins Cuminum cyminum(cumin) cupping Curcuma longa (tumeric) Cytokine therapy D-GLUCARATED daffodill (Amaryllidaceae?) dasatinib dance detox footbath, with intravenous vitamin therapy, cranial electrotherapy stimulation, combination infrared waves plus oxygen, acupuncture, colon hydrotherapy, Di Bella Therapy DI-INDOLE METHANE (from cabbage) Dieffencachia maculata,(dumb cane) Dionaea Muscipula (Venus flytrap Carnavoria brand extract, anti tumor?) disulfiram/Antabuse DMSO dry fasting ear candeling Elderberries Electro Physiological Feedback Xrroid Electrohomeopathy elephant P53 and TP53 Elettaria|Amomum|Zingiberaceae (Cardamom) Ellagic acid emu oil EPICAN FORTE® Erecial dysfunction drugs (for after tumor removal surgery) Essiac tea = ( burdock (Arctium lappa), sheep sorrel (Rumex acetosella), slippery elm bark (Ulmus rubra), and Indian rhubarb (Rheum officinale) or turkey rhubarb (Rheum palmatum).[3] Some formulations may also contain watercress, blessed thistle, red clover, and kelp) Eugenia caryophyllata (clove) Euphorbia tirucalli (firestick) Eutrema japonicum/Wasabia japonica (wasabi) Fallopia japonica/Reynoutria japonica (Japanese Knotweed) FAR INFRARED THERAPY fasting Fava beans ferro fluid FLAVONOIDS Foeniculum vulgare (fennel) Fontainea picrosperma (Blushwood berry) (Hylandia dockrillii ..?) Fragaria? (strawberries /) FUCOIDAN GcMaf and transforming-growth-factor-beta GEIPE THERAPY Gelsemium elegans (heartbreak grass) Germanium German New Medicine (GNM) ginger tea Gingerol Glyconutrients gold Goldenseal (or Hydrastis canadensis) Gonzalez protocol Gotu kola Guiera senegalensis HANSI THERAPY heat HIV Hordeum vulgare (barley) Hoxsey therapy HULDA CLARK'S THERAPIES human breast milk Hydrazine sulfate hydrogen-peroxide Hyperbaric oxygen therapy hypnosis HYPOTHERMIA THERAPY IMMUNOCAL® Indole-3-carbinol (found in broccoli) Influensa Vaccine (for after tumor removal surgery) Inonotus obliquus(Chaga) Insulin potentiation therapy IP6® IPT (INSULIN POTENTIATED THERAPY) Issels treatment juicing Junk DNA k3 Kalanchoe Kangen Water Kelley treatment KEYTRUDA kinase inhibitors Krebiozen Krebiozen LACTOFERRIN

laetrile/laevo-mandelonitrile-beta-glucuronoside,/amygdalin/Vitamin b 17/Nitriloside lapacho tea laughing Lauraceae (cinnamon) Larotrectinib Ligustrum lucidum (Glossy privet) Linalool Lima beans limonene Lipoic acid Live blood analysis LifeOne Protocol Livingston-Wheeler Therapy Lorraine Day's 10-step program low sugar diet lye lymphatic drainage LYMPHOTONIC PF2 Macadamia nuts Macrobiotic diet magnets meditation Metabolic therapies MGN3, Millet Miracle Mineral Supplement MG-LZ8 (Ganoderma lucidum ) MODIFIED CITRUS PECTIN Moerman Therapy Momordica charantia (bitter mellon) Morinda citrifolia (noni) Moringa oleifer (moringa/ drumstick tree/horseradish tree/ ben oil tree/or benzoil tree Moxibustion MYCOSOFT GOLD® naked mole rats don't get cancer N-TENSE® Neuro-linguistic programming Nieper therapy Ocimum sanctum/Ocimum tenuiflorum (holy basil) oleander OMEGA 3 FATTY ACIDS Oncolyn® Oncotox® Orgone Origanum vulgare (oragono) Orthomolecular medicine oxygen therapy P53 genes P80 Natural Essence Panchagavya pangolin Pau-d-arco Peperine Peristrophe bicalyculata Persea americana (avacado, the pit part) pH Balancing Phyllomedusa sauvagii phytoestrogen phytolacca decandra (American pokeweed) Picea(spruce genus)Alpha- & Beta-Pinene Pimenta dioica.(allspice) platinum Plumbagin (see carnavoria?) Plumbago zeylanica (ceylon leadwart) Polarity therapy Poly-MVA Polybia paulista venonm (a wasp) Poria cocos/Wolfiporia extensa (hoelen/ poria/tuckahoe/ China root/fu ling/matsuhodo Portulaca Oleracea (Purslane) positive mental outlook prayer(??) proanthocyanidins Proteolytic enzymes Protomorphogens Prunus avium and P.cerasus (cherry)Prunus africana Psychic surgery purple rice Qigong quark cheese and flax (http://www.getholistichealth.com/41061/the-industry-suppressed-budwig-protocol-or-how-to-cure-cancer-with-cottage-cheese/) Quercetin radiation Radiosensitization raido frequencies Raspberries Rauvolfia serpentina (or snakeroot) reiki Resveratrol Revici's Guided Chemotherapy Rhinella marina venom (cane toad) rhinocerous horn ricin RIGVIR Rosmarinus officinalis(rosemary) Sanguinaria canadensis (bloodroot) sea cucumber (Holothuroidea?) sea silver seeds from other fruits like apples, cherries, peaches, prunes, plums, pears Selenium Serenoa repens (saw palmetto) shark cartilage Shiatsu Silybum marianum (milk thistle) smelling farts smoothie:https://pinklotus.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/DrFunksAntioxidantSmoothie.pdf sodium bicarbonate (bakingsoda) Sorghum sour honey Stellaria media (chickweed) Strawberries Strychnos nux-vomica(Strychnine tree) sun light swiftlet nests Taraxacum (dandilion genus) Taxus wallichiana (Himalayan yew) Thapsia garganica (deadly carrots) this salad http://realfarmacy.com/make-giant-cancer-killing-salad/ Thymus vulgaris (common thyme) Tigilanol_tiglate /ebc-43(from blushwood berry) TO-MOR-GONE Trametes versicolor/Coriolus versicolor/olyporus versicolor (turkey tail mushroom) Transfer Factor Plus Trifolium pratense (red clover) Tripterygium wilfordii(thunder god vine) urine , cow, dog (http://www.cowurine.com/cancer.html) Ultraviolet Blood Irradiation Uncaria guianensis, Uncaria tomentosa (or cat's claw) varicella vegan diet Venom Peptieds (various spider and pit viper species, arazonian bark scorpian) VG-1000 VIBE Machine vibrations Vinblastine Virginia Livingston Therapy Viscum album (misletoe) (Iscador) Vitacor vitamin c (ascorbic acid ? ) vitamin D waiting for your immune system (http://www.getholistichealth.com/41065/the-american-cancer-society-admitted-that-untreated-cancers-often-go-away-naturally/) Waxy monkey tree frog, skin compounds wheatgrass Whipple Procedure, Wigmore therapy Withania somnifera(Indian ginsing/ zapotin Zingiber officinale (ginger) Zoetron therapy

http://www.getholistichealth.com/40674/the-miracle-drink-that-kills-cancer-cells/

•Fava beans •Raspberries •Strawberries •Blackberries •Blueberries •Buckwheat

•Macadamia nuts •Bean sprouts All are the highest sources of absorbable vitamin B17.

https://cancerwontbeatme.com/2014/10/02/a-list-of-78-proven-therapies/#more-164 https://thetruthaboutcancer.com/medicinal-mushrooms-cancer/

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/07/12/536812206/living-drug-that-fights-cancer-by-harnessing-the-immune-system-clears-key-hurdle?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20170712

#woo #alternative_medicine #cancercure #psudoscience #homeopathy #quackery #alternativemedicine

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tabletoptrinketsbyjj · 6 years

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Trinkets, Worthless, 8: These trinket are garbage plain and simple. They would be termed vendor trash or junk loot in video games. They aren’t touched by stray magic or mystery as with regular trinkets, aren’t made from valuable materials and aren’t particularly useful even if they aren’t damaged.

A box of odd beads that bear no resemblance to eyes, yet always seem to watch the nearest creature.

A wanted poster that bears the face of a terrified elf. The reward is not listed.

A bright orange, ceramic throwing star that will always miss its target.

A small pair of scissors that only cut eyebrow hair.

A glass bottle filled with multiple layers of differently-colored sand.

A dried leaf that is entirely unaffected by any sort of natural wind or breeze.

A shirt button that changes shape every day.

A map with vague directions to an abandoned gnome's house.

A small wooden box that contains a single, worn thimble.

A 1’ x 2’ sheet of white canvas upon which the words “SUFFERING IS NOT ART!” are written and underlined in blood.

—Keep reading for 90 more trinkets.

—Note: The previous 10 items are repeated for easier rolling on a d100.

A box of odd beads that bear no resemblance to eyes, yet always seem to watch the nearest creature.

A wanted poster that bears the face of a terrified elf. The reward is not listed.

A bright orange, ceramic throwing star that will always miss its target.

A small pair of scissors that only cut eyebrow hair.

A glass bottle filled with multiple layers of differently-colored sand.

A dried leaf that is entirely unaffected by any sort of natural wind or breeze.

A shirt button that changes shape every day.

A map with vague directions to an abandoned gnome's house.

A small wooden box that contains a single, worn thimble.

A 1’ x 2’ sheet of white canvas upon which the words “SUFFERING IS NOT ART!” are written and underlined in blood.

A mouthpiece for an unknown musical instrument.

A single newt's eye in a glass jar.

A small jar of nails that can only be driven by a glass hammerhead.

A small jar of glass nails that can only be driven by a cold iron hammerhead.

A sword scabbard that's filled to the brim with tiny wooden swords.

A fine, leather pouch that contains exactly 248 smooth stone pebbles.

A thin sheet of cooking paper that's been folded into a swan.

A decaying wooden knife inscribed by a child that reads "The Ultimate Blade of Destruction".

An old doll wooden doll in rotting knit clothing. The doll's eyes seem to follow the creature closest to it and people who sleep near it regularly suffer from nightmares

A sickly green humanoid bone.

An odd metal cog that spins on its own every so often.

A small wooden carving that depicts a naked goblin scratching his hindquarters.

A small dull dagger that refuses to sharpen.

A rusted coin that slowly absorbs oil it comes into contact with.

A long letter of complaint addressed to a school teacher criticizing his methods and general personality.

A glass jar containing a dozen folded paper frogs.

A small jar of hard candies that taste of sour apples and never seems to go bad.

A small doll with a cloak and toy dagger attached. On the back of the doll, the letters "TDG" are written.

A drinking horn with an odd rune carved on it.

A tiny pink bottle that smells of roses when it is empty.

A wooden carving of an orc doing a handstand.

A small twig that doubles as the perfect toothpick, no matter who uses it.

A gnome's hair brush.

A small painting of a horse's rear end.

A cork for an old wine bottle that won't fit in any other bottle.

A small pot of horse glue that says “NOT FOOD, SERIOUSLY” on the side.

A bamboo scroll tube containing a legal and notarized deed for a house whose address doesn't exist.

A dagger made of folded parchment, that could at best give someone a paper cut.

A wooden box containing twelve matching pieces of broccoli that have somehow remained fresh.

A bar of soap that smells like rotten meat.

A key that breaks the first time it’s used in a lock. To add insult to injury, it doesn't open the lock.

A tin of makeup that's just the most absurd shade of orange.

A magically preserved apple that tastes like an orange.

A letter from an unknown sender that simply reads, “I told you so!”. The return address is plainly labeled “Feywild”.

An undersized wooden backscratcher, for use by gnomes.

A tattered blacksmith cap full of red dwarf hair.

A small roll of leather that's been cured with giant urine.

The hollowed-out shell of a large hermit crab.

A crudely made treasure map that leads to a beggar's dandelion garden.

A small blue stone that feels like silk to the touch.

A pocket multitool with only one tool remaining in it. The remaining tool is a magnifying glass that has the words "Find the rest of me." inscribed on it.

A wooden scroll case filled with fine ash. The top of the lid sports a tiny iron spike that may have triggered some sort of combustable trap.

A fist sized bar of harsh lye soap

A homemade pan flute consisting of a dozen reeds of gradually increasing length held together by vines and dried grasses. Despite its crude origins it plays quite nicely

A dog muzzle made out of leather and steel with adjustable straps that allow it to fit most medium and large canines.

A brown leather hawk's hood that's used to keep the birds docile during periods when they are not hunting or resting.

A ceremonial headdress of similar make to one of the local barbarian tribes, with the exception that it is made entirely out of steel wiring and tin spoons. You’re not sure if this is some sort of artistic interpretation, strange inside joke or weird form of insult.

A preserved, hollowed out corpse of a Flumphling stuffed with sage.

A metal flask containing a thick concoction that smells dark and musty, like a forest after heavy rains.

An unremarkable spoon fashioned from horn.

A thick, heavily padded leather and burlap sleeve made to fit over the bearer's arm and serves as a target for animals being trained to attack.

A sealed one gallon cask of Bufo, a favorite drink of goblins, boggards, and other primitive humanoids. It is made by soaking a poisonous toad or frog (Or its eggs) in weak beer or by “milking” these animals for their poison and mixing it with the beer (Allows the animal to be used repeatedly). Some tribes use wide-mouthed jugs and leave the dead animal inside as a crunchy treat for eating once the drink is gone.

A sealed one gallon cask of luglurch ale. This pale frothy beer is found by most races to be too salty to swallow, with the exception of halfings who find it an acquired taste

A clockwork blue bird that emits a horrendous screeching sound when it is wound up.

A musty smelling, threadbare, grey towel that never completely dries. If someone attempts to dry themselves with it, they will develop a mildewy smell exactly like the towel until the creature takes bathes and dries off with a proper towel.

A purple ring box that croaks like a frog when opened. It is lined with lime green satin on the inside and smells of a swamp.

An old black cord with three matching light blue buttons, strung on it, all about the size of a gold piece.

A large piece of parchment with a tea stain in the shape of a kitten.

A rolled up parchment with a sketching of the ugliest Dwarven baby the bearer has ever laid eyes on.

A beat up, wooden compass that always points towards the bearer, never north.

A plain, wooden footstool about six inches high, with a round top about 18 inches across.

A crude, 500 piece puzzle that appears to be a treasure map, but 100 of pieces in the middle that show the specific coordinates and details of the treasure are missing

A thick braided cord made of dark leather, hanging from which is a giant's toenail reeking of cheese.

A voodoo doll of a young man that's missing it's head.

A small jar of chocolate cookies that cannot be opened or broken.

A set of crooked and yellowed dentures with teeth missing.

A dictionary with over half of the words spelled wrong and out of alphabetical order.

A brass chamber pot that was not thoroughly cleaned since its last use.

A wooden scroll tube containing the blueprints of a church that has long since collapsed.

A faux-distressed piece of parchment that is a crude map of the local area, with red circles and arcane gibberish scrawled on it. Intentionally made to look old and worn, it’s actually a simple piece of parchment that’s been singed, crumpled, and rolled in the dirt. It's obviously meant as bait to lure creatures into an ambush it appears that whatever dimwitted humanoid authored this had a very poor knowledge of spelling and grammar. Any literate creature who so much as glances at it can identify the map as a fake.

A plain thimble, with absolutely nothing particularly interesting about it.

A crude earring made from a tiny tooth, wrapped in thin twine.

A formal letter that is badly seared and charred. It’s impossible to decipher because of the damage.

A small blue candle that smells of fruit. It’s fragrance is weak and barely noticeable.

An assortment of pieces from cracked eggshells. Most are a pale creamy color, like the egg of a chicken. Some larger pieces are a deep purple.

A porcelain doll about the length of a human’s index finger. The face is chipped away.

A black flask with a gaping hole in its side. It’s covered in punctures that look like bite marks.

A silky cloth fraying quite badly around its edges. It’s almost reflective in its lustrous sheen.

A smooth, round stone about the size of a human fist. It feels oddly heavy.

A set of three clay dice, painted with black pips.

A chunk of rusted metal covered in dents.

A somewhat oval-shaped… thing. You think it might be really, really, really stale bread.

A pair of glasses whose frames look as good as new, but the lenses are stained, cloudy, and cracked.

A trio of matching bracelets, made from knotted thread. You’re almost certain there’s supposed to be four of them.

A hollow reed that creates a low, soft whistle when blown.

A hand sized figurine of a cat, perpetually coated in a layer of dust.

A waterskin filled with a slick, greasy oil. Patterns of snakes cover its sides.

A single tile that appears like it was from some type of mosaic mural. It’s a dull green in color.

A pouch of bitter tea leaves. Their aftertaste is unsatisfying and almost sour.

A jagged arrowhead, cracked into a shape reminiscent of a fox’s head.

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