#fuck you tigrex

[sagefurry]

so me and two friends were deciding what monster hunter monsters would post on facebook

Rathalos: posts "I hate my wife" memes everyday and tries to recapture his lost glory, because he still thinks he runs the architectural company he made with his wife and is very self-centered about the fact he's still technically the face of the company, even though he chose to not go on with the times when his wife did, leading to him not helping the company at all nowadays and everyone just tolerating him so they can enjoy his wife's presence (and her flips)

Rathian: posts about her architectural achievements and is the kind of person that posts live laugh love posts unironically. nobody really knows why she still tolerates Rathalos, but she really thinks she can fix him and that there's something beautiful inside him that if she just tries, she can get through to his good parts. thinks all the "I hate my wife" memes are just jokes. really fun at parties

Zinogre: posts about going to the gym and pictures of him flexing everyday, is super into cars because he can power his electric cars by himself. he's also very big into entomology. will go on rants about the "cars" movies if you let him because he hates how unrealistic it is

Gammoth: doesn't post anything on her own facebook page and doesn't check what any of her friends are doing on it but but runs the lesbian monster community page

Tigrex: posts conservative far-right propaganda and the wildest conspiracy theories youve ever heard, and is also every type of -phobe you can think of. posts pictures of him that have sunglasses and really big jeeps badly photoshopped onto them

Mizutsune: posts almost exclusively about anything gay pride related and uses his page as a curated gay art gallery. dunks on tigrex's posts whenever he can. takes pictures of himself while hes taking a bubble bath and reposts bath bomb videos.

Glavenus: was an edgelord sword-lover when he was a kid and posted about swords and skulls and motorcycles n shit. he took a break from social media in his teens to become an apprentice blacksmith. now middle-aged and is an accomplished blacksmith that posts about his craft whenever he can. still also posts about swords a lot.

Astalos: uses his personal facebook page for curating like a music gallery for music he likes, of any genre. hes a beginner guitar player that posts himself playing a lot. hes not very good but hes trying goddammit. also runs a music sharing community page.

Seregios: uses his page exclusively to provoke people and to post inflammatory stuff. especially likes getting a rise out of rathalos and tigrex, and also astalos because all you have to say to astalos to get him angry is tell him his taste in music sucks

Yian Garuga: self-proclaimed "metrosexual". posts dick pics and gym selfies of himself that no one wants to see except nargacuga. gasses up nargacuga's posts and sees it like a "bro thing" when he does it. he's very confused sexually and everyone knows that except him

Nargacuga: the resident gamer. posts videos of him playing video games extremely well and also posts pictures of himself in thigh highs and has a very e-girl kinda energy. very openly flirts with yian garuga under his posts but yian garuga doesnt get it

The Greats and the Dromes: all of them exclusively post in an nsfw community where all they do is share nsfw around. they use facebook for nothing else

Zamtrios: is a very successful mukbang and asmr creator. at the end of every mukbang hes inflated and he uses his inflated state to make asmr videos with the sounds coming from it. this was very weird to type out

Deviljho: dentist that reposts his tiktoks about dental health on his facebook page. his videos give out a very sinister and uncomfortable vibe even though he just sincerely wants to help people with their dental health. he also wants their teeth but he tries to fight that urge

Diablos: ex-trucker with anger issues that has a very thick southern american accent and got fired after wasting millions of dollars in company assets and causing one of the worst pile-ups in history. posts mainly about trucks, guns, and pretending he still has a job. surprisingly not as right-wing as you might think. probably has a grindr

Gold Rathian and Silver Rathalos: its them after couples therapy. they run their architectural facebook page together now after rathalos got over his inferiority complex. youd think him being silver and her being gold wouldve made his inferiority complex worse but the story about it is that he chose silver so rathian could get gold and thats his way of saying he wants his wife to be in the spotlight willingly this time

Ahtal-Ka: shes just a very sweet tailor that posts about her sewing and knitting projects to her facebook page and posts tutorials for stuff. big fan of kaiju movies and also bionicles, and she posts about her custom bionicles a lot too

Lagiacrus: has a huge catalog of fish she's fished up and streams herself fishing every day. has multiple world records in fishing achievements

Teostra, Amatsu, and Bazelgeuse: all of them use their facebook pages for furthering their political agendas for becoming president. teostra is far-right, amatsu is like centrist left, and bazelgeuse is the communist party

Seltas and Seltas Queen: seltas queen is a dommy mommy that posts bdsm videos with like 30 different seltas on a regular basis. the seltas dont actually do anything related to the account but they get paid to be there so theyre technically part of it

Valstrax: facebook comedian. has incredible comedic timing. is Jerma985 (bullfango-kelbi hybrid mix)

Nakarkos: really fucking old dude that talks about war history too much and posts videos of like american wars talking about how "kids nowadays with their darn phones that arent dying for our country"

Brachydios: owner of a very prolific demolition company who films buildings going down for clout on facebook. pays his employees surprisingly well. definitely got into legal trouble for demolishing non-condemned buildings before

Chameleos: runs one of those life hack content farms that post incredibly unhelpful, possibly untrue, sometimes dangerous life hacks for clout. no one actually knows he runs the account though. he definitely does it just because he thinks its funny

Nerscylla: really old lady that doesnt know how to use electronics and types her google searches into facebook and reposts videos of plants while saying something like "These are so wonderful!" to everything she sees that she likes

Shagaru Magala: christian parent thats a megachurch pastor and a televangelist. posts nothing but bible verses on her account and tells you that youre going to hell every single day of their life. gave her kid religious trauma

Gore Magala: depressed zoomer that listens to hyperpop and breakcore and lives off of monster energy and weed. got fucked up from shagaru constantly telling them that if they dont grow up right theyre gonna end up a chaotic gore and that has stuck with them for the rest of their life. just posts a lot of self-deprecating humor and vaguely worrying memes.

Kushala Daora: oppenheimer/amatsu's biggest fan. self proclaimed "centrist political analyst" that just so happens to agree with like every dictator and warmonger in history. will go out of their way to argue under the posts of like anyone thats left-leaning. loves seeing other people in pain.

Malfestio: blue-collar office worker that has no dreams in its life. posts like hypnosis videos on facebook that like are actually super popular but he doesnt feel like he can make a living off of it so he hasn't even tried yet

Duramboros: the activist. goes out and protests like every good cause out there. posts about charities and parades that are going on around. grows vegetables on its back to feed homeless people

#monster hunter #mh #making fun of rathalos #fuck you rathalos #rathalos #rathian #zinogre #also making fun of tigrex #fuck you tigrex #tigrex #mizutsune #glavenus #astalos #nargacuga #seregios #yian garuga #duramboros #mhgu #monhun #monster hunter generations ultimate #kushala daora #teostra #amatsu #gore magala #shagaru magala #nerscylla #chameleos #nakarkos #brachydios #bazelgeuse

[thehappiestgolucky]

I have the feeling that even the most badass and most uncaring of characters in your Blorbo Run would panic slightly when facing certain monsters because seriously Monster Hunter monsters are WACK-

Oh, for sure anon for sure.

I just haven’t gotten to those monsters yet in the Blorbo Run for Mei and Frye to suddenly be fazed by the existence of Zamtrios and good ol’ Khezu itself - not to mention Diablos and even Ratha himself ( :] ) nor have they had the chance to experience the majesty of the Hyperspace Tackle or pure terror of… :)

It may seem all calm now but soon the Blorbo Run characters will see the truly WHACK and genuinely scary cast of creatures Monster Hunter has. I just gotta progress to that point.

Whilst Mei and Frye have had it better seeing the more goofy ones first and being with natives, Blaidd is in a forest filled with at least creatures that may be tough but also recognisable somewhat to his world. Hornet is just keeping well away from noise and signs of more dangerous life (rip when she nearly stabs a group member who managed to catch up to her-) and Leon is - struggling in the middle of nowhere. They’ll get their “Oh shit oh FUCK” in due time

#happy screms #the blorbo run #anon i am looking forward to doodling and writing the reactions to certain creatures lmao #like khezu. plesioth. diablos. tigrex. nergigante- #currently the biggest weirdest things they’ve faced are durumboros. nargacuga and anjanath. big and scary sure! #but in that cool factor way. especially since Rider is confident. #i know whats coming in stories 2. i can’t wait to show what they’ll encounter <w< #i am hyping up khezu a bit but seriously fuck that guy. creepy gross. giginox you egg laying freak come back- #currently they’re nearly about to finally enter the ice level! the rest of the gang SOON #and then i can draw all interactions proper oh my god- #also i have to fight a royal zinogre to get leon egg. *sighs* #its like my first playthrough where i stubbornly kept fighting a tigrex to get my LAD MY BOI #i love these monsters with all my heart

[elendsessor]

these tags on my ukanlos posts are right so

this is a callout post

fuck you akantor your design cannot save you as good as it may be

-asshole

-hits too hard with wonky hitboxes especially the further back you go (his silly dead stare does not excuse him (oh dear god why is his hitbox so big when he resurfaces))

-abandoned his tetsucabra children when they were tadpoles

-has lied about his race in all 10 games he’s been in

-bane of everyone in universe not even ukanlos or odibatorasu have been that bad and one of them isn’t even confirmed canon but is shown killing monsters in his own trailer how is akantor worse than that when we’ve never seen him do anything but sit on his fat butt in a lava sauna

-will not stop yelling and i want him to shut up

-has beaten many male, female, gender nonconforming, young, elderly, and neurodivergent individuals to death (he doesn’t discriminate but it’s still morally wrong) (also traumatized a certain palico in cheeko sands)

-nobody likes defense down

-sucks in g rank especially it should be illegal for him to hit that hard while also lowering defense and having a yell that keeps going and going only tigrex has the roar excuse

i hope he never escapes old school may he be banished to capcom’s basement for forever and ever and ever

#also how come he’s been in more games than ukanlos #he was even in frontier not even ukanlos was allowed in there’s such a massive bias here #both are cool from a lore standpoint and ost standpoint but that’s it i do not like fighting them #shantien rambles #monster hunter

[siofra-river]

It is endlessly hilarious and frustrating that the mgs peace walker monster hunter crossover missions they chose like THE most annoying monsters that they could’ve had naked snake fight, out of all interesting and cool monsters you choose fucking tigrex??? Renowned for never being fun to fight? In ANY of the games he’s in?? And 3U/tri rathalos??? Who is infamous for NEVER landing and spamming like the same 2 moves over and over again?? It’s like they’re trying to get ppl to hate monster hunter 😭

#ani.txt

[mhsexymonpoll]

Hi! We completely lost drive for this little project back in February, but you know what? Fuck it. We’re leaping back in. Let’s get this beast rolling again

- Mod Tigrex

#monster hunter #mhblr sexymonster poll

[kaijuthespacemaniraptorian]

Mi-Ru skull made with 3D model and Parave anatomy as references!

Mi-Ru is a tough one to make given its weird skull proportions are pretty fucked up looking but then again hes a shapeshifting bastard so i guess theres that, the ears i think the "ears" are large crests a bit like Tigrex and Mi-ru's relative Dyuragaua, i wont bother to make skulls of his other forms i dont have the models for that i just have the model of his base form, Mi-Ru's thick and robust teeth suggest he kills armored prey but given that it lives in the tower its possible that it hunted the metal piscine wyverns Aruganosu and Goruganosu but im still unsure of his ecology as i believe that Mi-Ru is a genetically modified organism possibly an extinct relative of dyuragaua and would kind of make sense as to why he can shapeshift and why he can grow crystals on his body.

as for my thoughts on Mi-Ru i cant help but to ironically love him, no where near in my list of favorite monsters or even list of favorite frontier monsters but its certainly far from my least favorites, the design is cool im a slut for mammalian looking reptiles and i love his speed and final form as they look awesome, i also enjoyed fighting him in frontier and his fucking theme is just incredible definitly in my list of favorite monster hunter themes ever!

you can leave your thoughts on the skull down here i would really appreciate it ^w^!

#monster hunter #skulls #monster hunter biology #speculative anatomy #mi-ru

[gleeokenspiel]

thinking about it again but honestly. i fully believe that a very good amount of monster hunters in universe would probably be hard of hearing/have hearing damage to some extent. those creatures yell so damn loudly a good chunk of them literally make hunters flinch and cover their ears. also tigrex's roar deals damage. not to add melee users can be very close to the monster when they yell

on the other hand, disability as a result of injury also probably isnt super uncommon either, even if all humans Are a lot sturdier than us in real life. be in the job long enough you'll probably break more than a few bones or get something fucked up a little too hard even with all the armor and precautions and experience i think

disability aids are fairly available as a result and not very judged (but you can sadly probably never escape the pity looks) and theres also probably a good amount of accommodation for those who need it

#to me. there are a lot of disabled hunters in universe actually #the amount of physical strain they put themselves through despite again being superhuman eventually'll get to them right #lost kin rambles #when the monsters are rising

[luvsavos]

Oh damn…yeah on the “Aiden has killed a guy” thing we definitely disagree 😅 I gotta say, the concept of turning INTO an Elder Dragon is seriously something else…and it’s so neat that you also LOTG…I was like “hey how come at the end Aiden’s a solemn and then you see him at the beginning of World and he’s like “heyyyyy”. And she’s like “probably trying to be cool”. Still love how he sees you sitting alone and is like “absolutely not :)” ah, hold on, lemme continue this in another ask 😅

worry not this is absolutely wonderful i love talking in depth/length about characters like this<3

honestly my main backing for saying he's had to kill someone is two things: a) i like to make my faves suffer and having to kill another person would weigh VERY heavily on aiden, b) guild knights already do that as is, so while it's definitely FAR more likely that aiden was tasked with Just going around to help protect people, it Is a possibility and i use that to my advantage to make him suffer<3 i'd say he's fine but [gently pats the top of his head] this bad boy can fit so much repressed trauma in it LMAO

aiden was, i believe, the second instance of someone getting poofed into an elder dragon by vodrem; everyone else was just normal monsters (shang was an anjanath, and ended up keeping the alt form because he looked like the anja that raised him, the admiral was a tigrex, the huntsman was an acidic glavenus, the tracker was an odogaron, the seeker was the other elder dragon, an eo garudia; i don't THINK there were others but this was over a year ago and my memory is fuzzy</3 achilles also ended up getting poofed into an elder dragon at some point after the guild arc part 2, a xeno and then safi'jiiva, after aiden got spooked back into the fatalis form and let him drain some of his energy to speed up the molting process. he also ended up keeping the safi form, albeit by choice, so now he's just kinda this fucked up Black Dragon Lite™️ safi with primarily black colouration and dark red mottling and purple energy, i actually have a drawing i did of it somewhere as a ref for my friend, he is Very Pretty😌) i chose fatalis primarily because of how heavily i associate aiden with fatty (thanks iceborne) but also since i thought itd be interesting to explore a kind and outgoing and bubbly character like him grappling with the innate violence and rage of a fatalis... yet again making him suffer LMAO. to give him credit, he's done a good job at it, mostly because he typically just ends up being an oversized skittish cat who refuses to actually use any of the fatalis capabilities (save for flying, which he does admittedly enjoy). pancaketalis<3 i'll draw him fatalis'ed eventually, once i figure out how to texture the burn scars since they wouldn't be all that visible bc of the black scales

i definitely see aiden as the kind of person who doesn't, like, really Want to Let others see any solemness or whatnot from him most of the time; he's energetic, excitable, social and outgoing, and wants to maintain that---he doesn't want people to worry over him, i think. after all, he's usually the one that's trying to cheer everyone else up and support them, which may sort of be a way to try to deal with his own issues, in a way? me too buddy me too

i also adore how he's introduced in world, i think it's part of what got me to like him so much tbh. him immediately gravitating towards the one person sitting alone that didn't appear to have anyone else but their palico around with them, because everyone should feel included and welcomed, and while everyone else is already eating and talking away the player character is just sorta There, so of course, he strikes up a conversation, because that's what he does<3 nobody gets left out or left behind

(sidenote: i love that the fatalis pre-cutscene mirrors the intro cutscene. chefs fucking kiss im so normal about that)

#mar.txt #answered #aiden anon #as you can tell i like the monsters a completely normal amount #especially fatalis LMAO #if any of this is muddly or doesn't make sense/is poorly written i woke up an hour or so ago so words hard hfjdbgng #excitable a lister #aiden monster hunter #monster hunter aiden #ace cadet

[a-musing-mixologist]

"REVERTO PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!" She is so small compared to him! So tiny! And apparently even a tough rider such as Mari has found her match. That's no surprise—a teenage, less experienced dragonslayer compared to a one who has probably been doing his job for as long as she's been alive? Yeah she's not getting out of this one.

He's fought everything from Gendrome to rampaging Tigrex, more than earning his chops as a Hunter. Large or small, he wielded his greatsword with practiced ease. Had the cave housed a pack of bird wyverns or even a Khezu, he'd have been fine. But an entire nest of Bnahbara is where he draws the line (actually he draws it at one of the damned things). He had scooped up Mari like a sack of potatoes and was currently charging toward the exit at full speed.

"Ew ew ew EW EW ew! I WILL once we get outta HERE! There's plenty of other paths to choose, you can pick one of those!" Were the bugs following them? The bugs were probably following them.

#🍄Answered || Reverto #sorry Mari you're portable #rathalascendant

[gatorbiscuit]

The only reason Tigrex might not be in the launch version of Monster Hunter World is cause the new Great Sword moveset would absolutely decimate the stupid fucker.

#monster hunter #tigrex #run at me while i'm charging? #fuck you #shoulder tackle into a knock out and true charge attack you stupid dragon

[czerwonywilk]

Grimclaw Tigrex figure

God I want you so fucking much

#monster hunter #tigrex #where the fuck do you even buy these i can find normal tigrex and black tigrex but i can't find this one anywhere #i need a figure of the best fucking deviant monster

[pooka-dragon]

I got an ask of why Zenigata has an elder dragon, but no one else really has one and there’s a funny story to that. ^^’

So out of all the people in my AU, Zenigata was actually the hardest for me to think because I wanted to choose the right monster for him. I was tied between the Anjanath (or Fulger) or Tigrex because they’re both relentless wyverns. And that applies with Pops as well.

So I was in the Guiding Lands on Iceborne and Ruiner Nergigante happened to be there and normally he leaves me alone but for some reason, he keeps appearing in the same zone I’m in and wants to pick a fight. So I send a dung pod on him and send him away. Then after my fourth time sending him away, I was in a different zone and I said;

“I swear Nergi you are more persistent than Zenigata going after Lupin for nearly five seasons.”

I kid you not, my scoutflies disappeared and the song kicked in of his theme, making me turn my camera as he roared like he said ‘WHAT DA FUCK YOU SAID ABOUT ME!?’ And proceeds to kick my ass.

I couldn’t do anything, fainted and went back to camp because I was laughing too hard.

And that’s how I paired Pops with our good spikey boi; both relentless, both stubborn and will stop at nothing.

#pooka speaks #lupin!monster hunter #inspector koichi zenigata #nergigante #inspector zenigata #koichi zenigata #ruiner nergigante #this still makes me laugh #it was too good to pass up #lupin the 3rd #lupin the iii

[pokecraftking]

(monster hunter asks)

>:)

A L L

Bitch BET-

1. Weapon main?

Hammer all day every day. My 2nd world playthrough I've specifically given myself the challenge of "use anything but hammer" and I've been loving lance ngl! And in rise, Hunting Horn has surprisingly been a blast to play!

2. Favorite armor set?

Probably the Vaal Hazak armor from world. Dyed blue, it looks absolutely AMAZING!!!

3. What's your HR?

In World my HR is 454 and MR is 324, and in rise my HR is 129! Played a shit ton of world and iceborne back when they were getting updates.

4. Coolest weapon?

EASILY the Seltas hammer from 4u and GU. Its a ROCKET POWERED DRILL HAMMER!!!

5. Favorite Monsters?

Bazelgeuse and Seltas Queen! I've gone on about both of them, but long story short I adore both their designs and fights, and have some very fond memories of both!

6. Favorite game in the series?

Easily World and Iceborne. The biggest gripe people had with iceborne was the clutch claw, and as any other hammer main can tell you, we ADORED the clutch claw, and honestly as mich as people love rise, I prefer world in nearly every way. Not even just iceborne, but WORLD. Sunbreak has some big shoes to fill is it wants to even match Iceborne in my eyes.

7. First Monster Hunter game?

4U on my 3ds! Still have the cartridge somewhere, but i completely abandoned it come world, and GU put the nail in that coffin. Might revisit it at a later point, but not now.

8. What weapon would you like to learn?

I mean, with me playing a lot of hammer, lance in world, and hunting horn in rise, and knowing how to play the bowguns, there's not much else I really want to learn. Maybe gunlance if I had to pick one? Idk.

9. Did you use prowler much?

Nah, never used it. Loved monster hunter for it's combat, and prowler felt a bit too removed and just off to me.

10. Scariest monster to fight?

Easily Iceborne Fatalis. 1 wrong move and you're fuckin dead, and play too slow and careful and you time out. A major rush where everything must go right and every move can spell certain death.

11. What's something you wish the games had?

Honestly, a fist weapon (no, rajang dual blades don't count). I wanna be able to run up to a Dalamadur and just PUNCH IT YEAH-

12. Best/worst name you've given a palico and palemute?

Best is probably my palico cinnamon bun in world, worst is my all yellow palemute named bananaman lmao.

13. Favorite area(s) to hunt in?

Definitely the elders recess in MHW. My god the slopes and ledges in there were amazing to use with Hammer! The Hoarfrost reach wins best looking though.

14. If you could do any crossover, what would it be?

RWBY without question. I mean, the Hunstmen and Grimm and Hunters and Monsters thing are similar to the point a crossover could be done EASY! Plus, theres so many cool weapons in RWBY that would look great brought into monster hunter, and we could even fight a cool grimm!

15. Opinion on fan-made monsters?

Usually cool, nothin more or less. I do like some of the hybrid monsters I've seen, and LOVE some of the subspecies and deviants I've seen as well!

16. Unpopular oponions?

A few:

GS and dual blades to a degree are simple to the point of being kinda lame in my eyes.

Fucking HATE Tigrex, and not a big fan of nargacuga, mizu, or rathalos. All popular and cool in their own rights, but not a fan personally.

The arch tempereds in World were good at minimum, and the way their armor worked is how the apexs should have worked in Rise.

MHW Alatreon is a great fight as long as you actually pay attention and play by its rules.

The clutch claw was a great idea, just not the best execution with some weapons and monsters.

17. Would you recommend the games?

YES! A MILLION TIMES YES! World is on practically EVERYTHING, and honestly world alone I could sing the praises of for days on end, let alone the other games. If you haven't played a monster hunter game, play world or rise ASAP!!!

...this is where I'd say ask away but... all tge prompts were awnsered here... idk.

Have a turtle

🐢

#monster hunter #monster hunter world #monster hunter world iceborne #monster hunter rise

[spearxwind]

God to be fair alex IS lowkey inspired by monster hunter designs haha. I think he’d def be something akin to the tigrex. Hit fast and hit HARD. Would probably not do very well against long range weapons but will kick ur ass at close range

Cercerion would be a stand-in for amatsu too, same kind of fight as in mhp3rd. middle of a hurricane on a mountaintop, nowhere to escape when the laser beam hits. 

I dont think I can think of any other ocs that’d fit this setting off the top of my head but i can tell you if adri was a monster tho he’d pair up with hunters at first and then turn on them :)

god I looked them up and man, thats some quality angst and design tho... i enjoy the 5 million spears thats big brain

Also uhhh now i understand what people say when they say genshin impact designs are fucking impossible to draw 

Um, I’m not quite sure how to answer this tbh! I think it should be fine as long as you don’t copy any of my actual designs x) I think most of my shapes just amount to “hhggg i must draw dragons that look like dragons as quickly as possible”

I rly appreciate that you took the time to ask though that’s really nice 

well yeah sure, but on the other hand characters with wings are extremely common, and flying characters with slicked back hair (because of the speed or what have you) is also an extremely common trope. It just feels a little cheap a comparison to see a character with wings and go ‘oh shitt thats hawks babey’ just bc hawks happens to be the current most popular character

LKSFDHKSFDSDFKJL YEAH??? GOD I DO FEEL BIG BRAIN FOR THAT i cannot stop thinking about it since i drew it

sdjfksdjds just make them thicc...... works every tiem

ok but on a more serious note, keep the actual MEAT in mind when u draw them. dont make the tails super bendy or super squishy (i mean, you can make them squishy iyw but it wont look like its packin meat). Keeping in mind the spine and the muscles in mind def helps, maybe even adding a couple wrinkles where the bending is most extreme (if the character doesnt have scales)

I think most people have the mentality of ‘just draw them however, its free real estate!’ and ofc it IS free real estate, but dont forget the fact that physical things LOOK real for a reason, if ur dragon’s tail has incoherent weight/structure it wont look like its something that exists in a space, if that makes any sense

ofc take this advice with a grain of salt, im by no means an expert and again, it honestly really is free real estate this is just what works for me x)

#ask #anon #ask dump

[hobgayblin]

So i was thinking about the trailers for Wings of Ruin and how Reverto can be seen briefly in one of them doing a double attack with the player character, except you also see that mostly with riders (Avinia and her Barioth, Kayna and her Velocidrome etc.) so do you think he either momentarily controls one of your own monsties or gets his own? also what monstie do you think would work for him I'm very curious on your thoughts! - @uponthinegoldenwings

I think he probably just uses his big fuckin sword gsgfsdkhf

It seems like Riders and Hunters are working together more, or at least SOME of them, so I think for a double attack Reverto would probably just. take out his sword and help fight. He's obviously a VERY strong hunter so he'd be able to keep up just fine w/ you and your monstie

If he did get a monstie tho I think he should have a tigrex considering his past with one, and also bc he deserves a fucked up strong monster friend. Or like, a Congalala because they're both sleepy bitches who love mushrooms sghfghds

#it may not be canon but bitch is GONNA get a monstie. mylo is gonna help him raise one :) #ty for the question wtf. love theorizing abt this bitch #🍄 #cackles from the den #uponthinegoldenwings

[getallemeralds]

Explorers of Arvus: uhhhh / 3.23.21

today's notes are different from usual bc. well. you'll see

LAST TIME ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS i broke my sleep schedule and am barely existing so this is fine. we went back to camp vengeance an uhhhhhhhhhhhh we are now going to fuck off into the forest to die or prove a very important point

oh god we forgot to level up

[mgd voice] BOOSTING NYX TO MAXIMUM LEVEL

im so fuckin tired. what on earth am i doing. how do i level again

k is not here this time but instead we've got mae+nii bonking their heads together to simulate 2 braincells and so far it is not working. i might just have to like fuckin, drop out n zzz partway thru or somethin. would be fun to see how chaotic michael makes charlie in my absensce

oh wait i can do d&dbeyond i think. how do i work this again. will i ever remember i have shield

what level am i. level 6? pog. oh shit i think i have a new thing

. new spell

. 3 total 3rd level spell slots

. bend luck! i can now screw people over on purpose (and will probably use my sorcery points FINALLY)

michael is leveling charlie up bc my brain is apple sos

ASDXFKLJFH I FEEL CALLED OUT zec rb'd my most recent art of MaX with "all i know about xem is that leo likes xem a lot that's the extent of my knowledge" THANK U FOR SUPPORTIN ME ANYWAY

there will be less blaseball distractions than last time bc blaseball is now on siesta. however i will still have MaX brainrot in the background bc i was drawing xem

wyatt mason my beloved

OKAY I GOTTA MUTE THE TACO STAND FOR THE ENTIRETY OF D&D i cannot and will not get distracted. we can do this. we

nintendo wii

we havent even started yet and im already incoherent

ok i have made a decision and that decision is that i do not have the brainpower to play. however i do have the brianpower to take notes hopefully! so ill just like. vibe. this will be a first

oh man im gonan pick up Blink. charlie is gonna be a fucking menace to herself and others

oh my god its not concentration so charlie may continue teleporting while unconscious. thorne is going to hate this

[charlie gets her soul eaten by a ring] [charlie singing dragonston din tei at halvkWAIT JORB HAS A PRIZE

jorb got a thing! an evil genius thing! figure man. fugrine. figuring. help

GREEN HAS DIAGNOSED ME AS TIGREX MONSTERHUNTER i love this

my notes are a disaster. this is so sucks

serotonin is stored in the wiggly zoomy jorb camera

jorb: his pinky is the size of the rest of his fingers

leo: he has a disease

jorb: he has a disease.

jorb: that disease is male pattern baldness

leo: [reduced to tearful giggling for mysterious reasons]

LAST TIME, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS: we've returned to camp vengeance! taure is still unconscious, which is not very great. camp vengeance is doin better tho!

michael, as part of the recap: ingrid is getting railed by her new girlfriend,

first dice roll of the day is michael rolled a 1. good start

OH THORNE IS AN ARTIFICER NOW thorne took a level in artificer!

"...it's like figuring out the right mathematical equation to summon a gun."

group is gonna go check out the statue that we passed by now that we're not WHAT DO YOU MEAN PONK AND GEORGE CANONICALLY HAVE IBS thats it im not looking at 772 anymore

im doing a bad job of paying attention but at least im Present

SIERON LEARNED FLY AND USED IT ON CHARLIE

michael: what do you want to do with your new flying powers?

leo: how many problems can i cause in 10 minutes

guard 1: ...why is the halfling flying?

guard 2: [rolls a 3 on intelligence] i think they can just do that

groundhogs, the real scourge of the campaign

silje and sieron are gonna hunt a big elk. they got distracted and sieron is putting grass on silje's head. i think

WAIT WE'RE ON WATCH NOW FUCK

we have discovered kali's tragic backstory whoops

update i am. too sleepy for this. good nigh everyone

[ and then leo went and somewhat took a nap! solar, normally playing thorne, started playing charlie in my stead. @jorbs-palace, local hero, started taking shitpost notes in my stead. ]

jorb's ghostwritten notes for leo:

help solar is immediately doing a cursed voice for charlie. charlie can do so many crimes

congratulations, charlie is now temporarily immortal!

dwarves can hit things with their beard

kali wants to know if she's legally allowed to bail

she'd feel really bad if she had to loot our corpses for payment if we died.

we have entered the Tree Zone

one of the corpses is now a flamingo (has one leg)

silje has decided to stab the ground. take that, dirt

kali was large size for a second there but then she remembered to not be a giant

"you accidentally deleted my cat?!"

silje has learned naruto cloning jutsu

be gone, thot

oh boy, making an int check to look at a statue! 11! silje is dumb apparently.

hmm. the statue has divination magic. it's also affecting silje.

SILJE LEARNED A 6TH LEVEL SPELL? its only single use but still

you solved my statue riddllllleeeee

thorne forgot to have eyes

its a shame mac and cheese doesnt exist in the d&d universe

wizards are just math criminals (the criminal part is setting people on fire)

sieron crit fails a check but it was still a 9 because of having +8

thorne is looking for what's weird!

uh oh music got scary, never a good sign

hmm. those leaves over there weren't dead a moment ago.

UNDEAD TROLL TIME! rolling initiative

"it's ok, im a wizard, it's my duty to be correct." "wow! waow!"

woooah here he comes

IT JUST DID HALF SIERON'S HEALTH AS A PASSIVE END OF TURN EFFECT?

thorne backed up and cast eldri- oh, ray of enfeeblement. character development continues

charlie is going to just blink out of existence for a minute.

big chungus has grabbed silje and sieron. BIG CHUNGUS HAS THROWN SILJE AND SIERON.

sieron is using hit and run tactics! isn't good at his extra attack yet though

silje is activating bid bid blood blood blood

thorne uses beam of skipping your leg day. troll's legs are now skipped.

michael is trying to determine what a 'clavicle' is

"does that mean the star trek kind, or the bdsm kind?"

charlie wants to cast magic missile.

charlie has vanished back into the ethereal plane mid-taunt

silje has decided to not get bitten today

silje may or may not have stats.

oh, right, trolls are weak to fire! and also we forgot to upgrade sieron's firebolt. so it actually hurts now!

silje is full of knives and blades and does 31 damage in one turn!

charlie shouts words of encouragement from the ethereal plane. a nearby ghost vibes with this.

🎉 eldritch blast 🎉

kali remembered she hates the sun

silje is enthuasiatic about charlie saying "get him cat boy!"

charlie contemplating using fireball to nuke the troll and also the entire stonehenge

charlie has decided to use magic missile instead, probably for the best

the troll bit at charlie SO POORLY it broke some of its teeth on the ground

charlie is too small to hit

accidentally rolled advantage on a firebolt, so got to learn it WOULD have done 29 damage with a crit but instead it missed because it was not actually with advantage

silje has just sliced open its entire back and made a spray of frozen blood! radical. big boy is down!

we have burned the body because we are not stupid. well, we ARE stupid, but not stupid in the way of leaving a body full of necrotic magic around

[dr coomer voice] i think it's good that he died!

we're also doing a funeral pyre for the other corpses that were around. just to be sure.

our loot is: the satisfaction of a job well done

thorne is cosplaying as charlie

charlie has located the direction troll came from! she found the 'the way to sweet loot' sign

thorne is apparently better at survival checks than our hired guide? wack

we found a viking house! it has: mead, a shield, gravestones,

found a gold coin in the mead! maybe it was thirsty

oh theres a LOT Of coins in there actually. 60 gold and 120 silver!

have successfully pointed out a hole in the DM's logic :)

there was a raven! it cawed and left. ok bye buddy

and that's where we leave it! heading back to camp vengeance next time.

someone rated this session a 7.2 out of 10, which is very specific

good night mr coconut

#leo chirps #ttrpg #explorers of arvus #jorb #thank u based jorb