#gabriel and beelzebub realizing there's more to life and they can simply say fuck it and make something good between them

[winepresswrath]

Cannot believe at this late stage of my life I'm becoming a Gabriel fucker. Local mean jock doesn't want to be evil now, he wants to be loved. I'm slightly annoyed they didn't make Beelzebub more unhinged because the "plot" should have been at least half about them fucking up shit on an absolute rampage trying to find Gabriel, a thing everyone assumes they are doing to fry him with hellfire so they can kick off the war in a way that's advantageous to hell, BUT ACTUALLY!!! true love.

#I do love evil love! #but more than that it's like... the terrible emptiness of heaven and hell? #absolutely no one has been having a good time! #they're just middle management admin suckers doing a soulless job no one else understands #they don't even care about earth! six thousand years of #mommy promised that if you all sit down and shut up we can have another war when the humans are dead #as a form of enrichment for their underlings #and they're just going along with it because that's the grind #incidentally I enjoyed how childish the angels were this season my pet theory is that they and the demons also have free will but no one #noticed so they've all just been making themselves miserable enforcing corporate culture and plotting each other's downfall because it #didn't occur to them to do anything else #gabriel and beelzebub realizing there's more to life and they can simply say fuck it and make something good between them #implies other angels and demons can do the same! as does Muriel obviously #like they are torturing each other. in much the same ways that humans are torturing each other #sad for Aziraphale and Crowley they care about earth & humans #which is a real problem they have that Gabzebub do not #and also that Crowley is in denial about how much he wants to be good and Aziraphale is in denial about just so many things and also #committed to being an ass about it. #these are problems that Gabriel and Beelzebub do NOT have because they are goal oriented and keep their eyes on the prize #good omens spoilers

[im-abanana]

Ineffable Bureaucracy as parents HeadCanons

I can’t believe I spent nearly two hours writing some ‘Ineffable Bureaucracy’ Pregnancy/Child/Parents HeadCanons. The craziness is under the cut, I’m not sorry.

Pregnancy head canons:

-First of all, I am positive that Beelzebub’s pregnancy would be an accident. A total, disastrous accident. Com’on, they are so stupid. It’s not like she or Gabriel could imagine that angels and demons would be able to procreate, since they are supposed to be mortal enemies in the first place (after the failed Armageddon, I think the situation between the two factions would be way better though);

-Beelzebub realizes that something must be wrong with her body around the seventh week or so. Demons do not need to sleep, but she finds herself fighting the urge to nod off on her uncomfortable throne more and more often, until even Dagon takes notice. Being the best BFF there is in Hell, Dagon gently offers Beelzebub to swap duties for a few hours, or she simply brings hot coffee to the Prince every time she can;

-Coffee is the only thing Beelzebub manages to gulp down without having to spend the whole afternoon locked in the bathroom, because pregnancy sickness is a fickle beast. Being a demon of Gluttony and not being able to eat is torture. At first, Gabriel shrugs it off and says ‘I’ve always told you not to eat that gross matter’, but at some point he gets worried too... demons or angels are not supposed to feel sick or have indigestions, after all;

-Gabriel secretly starts to investigate about the Prince’s strange behavior, writing down every single oddity he sees, date and time. He is an excellent bureaucrat, but a fucking idiot in general. He hides an up-to-dated little notebook full of notes, such as ‘morning always sickness, unjustified tiredness, nausea, moodiness’ and he still doesn’t have a clue. He could use Internet or his brain, of course, but as I said he is a dork. However, he feels like he’s missing something;

-At the tenth week (still not knowing about her condition) Beelzebub hits her breaking point. It happens during a business meeting with a few subordinate demons, in the throne room. As she tries desperately not to fall asleep (she cares about her people and has a lot of patience for the most part, imo), while a few of those demons are bitching nonstop about some leaking or a burst pipe somewhere, one of them frowns and dares to accuse ‘Excuse me Lord Beelzebub, are you actually sleeping on the job!? This is unacceptable, do you actually know how hard it was for us to get an appointment!?’. That definitely does it. At the end, everything there’s left of that particular demon is a sad pile of dust; 

-Dagon calls Gabriel and tells him about what happened and the harsh reprimand Beelzebub had received from Satan himself. Concerned, he waits for her in front of the communal entrance of the offices (the escalator we see in Good Omens), and when she arrives- to his utter disbelief -she starts sniffing and repeating ‘I didn’t mean to destroy that demon’, ‘I’ve being feeling odd these weeks’  and ‘I don’t know what’s gotten into me’. He tries his best to calm her down, but the feeling that he is missing something still lingers, stronger than ever now;

-A few nights later, as Gabriel is trying to fill out some paperwork, it just hits him. He springs to his feet and runs into the bathroom, where an infamous box lays untouched since many, too many weeks. He yells ‘Beelz!!! When is the last time you had a menstrual period?’. For an handful of seconds, dead silence. But then, Beelzebub’s voice echoes loud and clear in the house ‘Oh, shit!’;

-So, she is officially carrying a demon-angel hybrid. That night, the silence in their house is disturbed only by Gabriel’s unceasing steps as he walks aimlessly in every single room, mumbling to himself, his face blank and pale. Beelzebub is still in the bathroom, with her head between her hands and questioning her life decisions (lmao, poor bean);

-The thing Beelz hates the most about pregnancy are swollen ankles, not because they are unaesthetic or painful, but because she has to give up on wearing her beautiful fishnet socks;

-Once the general shock wears off, Dagon would be so happy! I mean, I see Beelzebub and Dagon as really close friends and partners in crime. No matter who the father of the offspring is, Dagon’s gonna spoil the living Hell out of her nephew/niece;

-Gabriel knows how dangerous Hell is, especially for the Prince. He tries to convince Beelzebub to allow a few security guards (his best angels) to protect her, or at least supervise the entrance of the throne room, but the demon angrily refuses. She is one of the most powerful beings in existence and can take care of herself, as she always did. Plus, angels in Hell? What nonsense that would be;

-Sandalphon and Uriel are not happy about it, like, at all. One day at the office, around the fifth/sixth month of pregnancy, Gabriel overhears Sandalphon muttering ‘What was the Almighty thinking when She allowed that unholy union to happen? Can you imagine what kind of monstrosity will come out from that— that disgusting demon?’. The Archangel takes a long breath, smiles in the most diplomatic way, walks towards his colleague and punches him right in the face. Nobody insults his gf and unborn child;

-Michael isn’t even mad, for she is very open-minded and understanding. She just sticks with Gabriel through it all, secretly glad for him. Excited, even. He is her most trustworthy friend, nothing could ever change that. He does not deserve to be treated as a traitor or an outcast;

-Gabriel loves to feel the baby kicking and moving, even stretching its tiny wings inside the womb. Beelzebub pretends to be annoyed when he rests his head on her belly, but when the Archangel isn’t looking (or at least, that’s what she thinks) she smiles softly at her boyfriend’s tenderness;

-But when the baby starts to move, it. just. doesn’t. give. Beelz. a. break. I mean, she tolerates the little thing with all her heart, but she would appreciate it… if it would just stop wrestling with her spine and ribcage 24/7;

-Thankfully, the other demons do not dare to challenge Beelzebub. Not only she is a formidable fighter on a regular basis, but she grows ten times more protective and intransigent during the gestation. The Prince is aware that there isn’t just her safety on the line, but her child’s as well. Whoever steps a bit too close for her liking gets growled at;

-Surprisingly, Satan himself is one of the first to congratulate. At this point, especially after the Armageddon flop, he doesn’t give two shits about what angels and demons do together. Times have changed… Hell, his own son has rebelled against him! So he just good-naturedly states ‘If this offspring comes out half as fierce as Beelzebub, I sincerely hope it will join our side, or else Heaven would gain a great advantage!’;

Now time for some parenthood head canons:

-When Beelz goes into labour, the questions of the day are ‘What will the child look like!? Will it be a demon? An angel? Both? Will it grow horns or hooves? An halo, perhaps?’. But to everyone’s surprise, the kid comes out pretty normal. A balanced mix of its parents. It inherits Gabriel’s purple eyes and Beelzebub’s black hair. Its only uniqueness is a pair of very, very fluffy black-and-white wings;

-Much to Beelz’s dismay, it also inherits Gabriel’s dumbness and shit-eating grin (especially the ‘shut your stupid mouth, and die already’ smirk). But when the kid is puzzled or simply interdicted, it reminds Gabriel of Beelzebub’s expressions at the airbase;

-Those two immediately fall in love with their baby, anyway. Gabriel even cries a tiny bit as he holds his little one in his arms for the very first time. He knows that Beelz is gonna take hundreds of pictures and tease him about it for all eternity, but he just doesn’t care. For once, screw dignity;

-Michael and Dagon are the best aunts in the world. When Beelzebub and Gabriel are both too busy with work, they are more than willing to spend some time with the child. During playtime, they both try to influence the kid in their own faction’s favor of course, ahah;

-The baby’s first word is ‘pornography’ and you cannot convince me otherwise. Because of that, even if Beelz is undoubtedly entertained, Gabriel is forced to ‘sleep’ on the patio for a whole month;

-Flying lessons with dad! When the child’s wings are grown enough— they become pitch black, the terminal feathers pristine white (like a Black-billed Magpie), or vice versa pristine white, with pitch black terminal feathers (like a Swallow-tailed Kite)—Gabriel decides it is time to teach his little one how to fly. The kid just stares in awe at his dad’s wings (a lot of people, me included, headcanon Gabriel’s wings as gigantic and majestic) and obediently follows every instruction. Beelzebub silently flies beside them, monitoring every progress with pride and making sure nobody gets hurt while practicing;

-Fencing lessons with mom! Beelzebub is a brilliant sword fighter, and she doesn’t waste time showing her kid how to use one;

-The kid is most likely very powerful. It is the offspring of the Lord of the Flies and the Archangel-fucking-Gabriel after all, if it indeed inherits the abilities of both of its parents… oh boy. Nor Hellfire nor Holy water can touch it, that’s scary stuff;

-Since the child is an hybrid, it is allowed to explore Heaven and Hell whenever it wants. While it excitedly snoops around, angels and demons just shoot it some suspicious glances, hoping it would simply choose a side already; 

-The kid does not, because it loves visiting Heaven and Hell just the same. Hell folks are more fun to talk with, that’s true, but Heaven has the best view and a calmer environment.

#ineffable bureaucracy #good omens #good omens gabriel #good omens beelzebub #beelzebub x gabriel #archangel gabriel #archangel sandalphon #archangel michael #archangel uriel #go #beelzebriel #good omens dagon #pregnancy headcanons #ineffable beurocracy #ineffable tag #headcanons

[ineffablegoodhusbandsomens]

New Fic on Archive!!! My brother challenged me to write something angsty, and this was what came from that challenge! Enjoy!

And if it makes anyone feel any better, this hurt like hell to write!

It was the next day, and the world was still standing, everyone breathing a sigh of relief for reasons they couldn’t fathom. The war between heaven and hell reached a stalemate, before it could even start. Peace had been reached. That wasn’t to say either side was happy about it. On the contrary, they were seething with rage, and the focal point of that rage had been one angel, and one demon, walking together in St. James’s Park, neither aware of what was about to happen. Until it was too late.

  The angel woke up in handcuffs, in a dark, damp, smelly place. Oh , he recalled. I forgot I’m not Aziraphale right now . At the same time, the demon had been forcefully seated in a chair, ropes tied to his wrists, binding him in his seat. Great angelic pricks , he thought, but resumed his clever act. Looking around, he surprisingly saw all four archangels standing in front of him. Who’s delivering the holy water to hell, then?

  Aziraphale was led to a chamber room, empty, except for the 3 seats in front of him, and the demons clambering behind the window, at his back. Interesting , he noted, and listened to the charges against him.

  “I think the greater good demanded…” Crowley began, trying his damndest to sound like Aziraphale.

  “Don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine. I’m the archangel fucking Gabriel. The greater good was we were finally going to settle things with the opposition once and for all” Gabriel interrupted, looking hatefully at Crowley. God, what an absolute prick Crowley thought.

  “And the murder of a fellow demon, a crime I saw with me own eyes” Hastur exclaimed, and Aziraphale simply stood, and listened.

  “Creatures of Hell, you have heard the evidence against the demon known as Crowley. What is your verdict?” Beelzebub asked the demons behind the glass, in the most bored voice Aziraphale had ever heard.

  “Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!” the demons shouted, and Beelzebub smiled at Aziraphale.

  “Do you have anything to szzay before we take our vengeance on you” they asked, and Aziraphale shrugged.

  “What’s it going to be then? An eternity in the deepest pit?” he asked in Crowley’s voice, laying on the indifference. Hastur, Beelzebub and Dagon smiled at him, wickedly.

  “Oh, this is something you never would have guessed” Hastur said, and a chill ran down Aziraphale’s spine.

  “We’ve got a little surprise for you, Aziraphale” said Gabriel, menacingly. Crowley pretended to look interested.

  “Oh, how kind” he said, knowing this will only work if he can stay in character.

  “Yes, you’ll like this one” Micheal said, and snapped her fingers. A television was miracled into the room, and the screen flickered to life. Crowley looked carefully at the image, and saw that it was Hell. A trial. His trial. And there, standing in his stead, was his angel. So this was their game , he thought. Try to kill us, and make us watch as the other supposedly dies. Shame their plan will fail .

  “Smile, you’re on camera” Dagon said, and a television appeared above Beelzebub’s throne. Aziraphale could very clearly see Crowley, sitting on a chair, in the whitest room imaginable. Aziraphale smirked, Oh, this is going to be too easy , he thought to himself.

Catch the rest on Archive, or hit keep reading! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22690249

“So, Aziraphale ” Gabriel began, slowly, and Crowley felt his heart grow heavy, from the Archangel’s tone.

  “Time for your punishment. For your crimes against the Almighty, and for working against the Great Plan, I sentence you to bathe in holy water” Crowley felt his heart stop, and heard a gasp from the television. He knew it was from Aziraphale, but he didn’t dare look.

  “Fancy a stroll into some hellfire, Angel” Beelzebub said, and Aziraphale felt his blood run cold. They knew , he realized, and he instinctively looked at the tv, at Crowley.

  “No” the demon said, almost a whisper, but somehow magnified to everyone in heaven and hell.

  “Did you really think we wouldn’t notice a demon walking into heaven? Idiot” Gabriel said, his voice more smug than it had ever been. With one miracle, he could finally be rid of Aziraphale and Crowley, once and for all.

  “Crowley” he hears his own voice say, more scared than he’d ever heard, and the demon looked into the tv. He saw his angel, glasses off, tears welling in the corners of his serpent eyes.

  “Why are you doing this? Why can’t we be left alone?” the angel shouted, to whoever could hear him. Heaven, Hell, Satan, God, anyone. He wanted an answer, and he got one.

  “Because, you’re traitors” Uriel said, and Crowley looked at her with disgust.

  “Angel, switch back. I can’t have you dying for me. Not like this” Crowley said to the tv, not even sure if they could switch back.

  “Crowley…” Aziraphale began, his throat tight, seeing tears catching in his own eyes.

  “Please. I don’t want the last thing you see to be your own face” Crowley said, feeling the desperation in his voice, in his heart, his very soul. He refused to die in his angels body. He felt a tug in the pit of his stomach, and felt Aziraphale’s corporation fading from him, replaced by his own, glasses returned to his face. He miracled them away, and kept his eyes on his angel.

  “I know for a fact, you lot have done worse than we ever have, or could have done. I seem to recall your youngest brother, Raphael, fell for asking too many questions. So tell me, my older siblings, why are we being put to death?” Crowley said, all but snarling at the archangels, as he tore his eyes away from Aziraphale. They all paled in shock, and Crowley felt a rush of pride.

  “Lies! There’s no way in heaven you’re Raphael. You’re already as good as dead, so stop these tricks, demon” Gabriel said, not sounding as confident as he had before. Crowley smirked.

  “Don’t talk like that, big brother. I’m still pissed you took credit for Alpha Centauri after I fell. I have a long list of things you lot did, that I wouldn’t mind reading off, if you’d like to hear about treason” he said, looking downright mad.

  “On the subject of our dear, sweet baby brother, who we all miss dearly” Michael said, smiling. Crowley did not like where this was going.

  “We have a proposition for you, demon Crowley. Turn your back on this foolish principality, let him burn, and we can help you rise. You can be an archangel again. You can be Raphael again. You can create things, more stars than you could possibly imagine. All you have to do, is let Aziraphale die. Become who you were meant to be, all along” she said, offering Crowley her hand, and his bonds miracled away. Crowley thought about it. Let Aziraphale die . Her words rang through his head. Like hell he would ever leave his angel behind. He spit into her hand.

  “I am who I’m meant to be. You think I’d leave him for you lot? So I can what, create stars again? Never ” he said, and Michael backhanded him across the cheek.

  “Don’t touch him!” Aziraphale shouted, and anger filled his chest. Michael smirked at the screen, and both angel and demon felt fear.

  “I’m beyond saving anyway. I’ve fallen not once, but twice” Crowley said, smiling devilishly.

  “Twice? How can you have fallen twice?” Urel asked.

  “I fell from heaven, and then I fell for him” Crowley said, turning to look Aziraphale straight in the eyes, through the television screen. Aziraphale gasped, feeling Crowley’s love for him, wash over his soul, even through a screen. It shined in his eyes, in his heart, his soul, the very air around him.

  “Impossible! Demons can’t love! They can’t feel emotions!” Beelzebub said, sounding almost scared.

  “Never was much of a demon” Crowley said softly, knowing Aziraphale had been thinking the same thing.

  “Crowley” the angel said, and that one word was enough to break the demons heart all over again.

  “I’m sorry I never told you, angel. I guess I ended up going too slow” Crowley said, and Aziraphale stifled a sob in his hands.

  “I’m the one who should be sorry, love. I was scared of what I felt. Now it seems too late for us” Aziraphale said, and Crowley felt his heart stop again. Us .

  “It was never too late. I fell, I fell from God’s grace, from her goodness, from her miracles, from her blessings. But, against all odds, I was blessed with 6000 years of knowing you. I wouldn’t trade it for the world” he said, and remembered his surroundings. The archangels who were once his siblings, looked shocked, to say the least.

  “If you think this gets either of you a reprieve, think again. It simply adds to the list of reasons why we are executing you both” Gabriel said, clearly trying to steady his voice.

  “I don’t get it. Angels are beings made of love. It’s basically in their job description to love. What’s so bad if one of them falls in love?” Crowley asked, sounding genuinely curious. Gabriel looked at him, confused.

  “Always the one to ask questions, weren’t you, little brother? Angels are meant to feel love, but that love is never meant to surpass the love they feel for God. If they fall in love, that love surpasses their love for the almighty. But, this failure of an angel has fallen in love with a demon. Disgusting” Gabriel said, sounding repulsed. Crowley felt anger in his chest again, and remembered he wasn’t stuck to the chair.

  “Angel, when we get out of this, I’m going to kiss the hell out of you, in the first place we meet. I don’t care where we are” Crowley said, eyes meeting Aziraphale’s. It hurt to see the tears falling from those beautiful blue eyes.

  “You will find no complaints from me, my dear. Lunch after that?” Aziraphale asked, not wanting this moment to end. This beautiful, simple moment, where they could both pretend they would make it out alive.

  “Obviously. Shall we have a picnic, or dine at the Ritz?” Crowley said, echoing the promise Aziraphale had made him, in his Bentley, so many years ago. Aziraphale remembered the words, and Crowley knew it.

  “The Ritz sounds divine. Where shall we go after that?” the angel asked the demon, grateful for this moment their enemies were granting them.

  “The bookshop, my flat, St. James’s Park. You’re choice” Crowley said, giving Aziraphale a chance to make the perfect day for them to never have.

  “I quite like your flat. The bookshop is too familiar. Whatever shall we do, when we get there?” Aziraphale asked, eyes closed, allowing himself to imagine this wonderful day.

  “We can do whatever you like, Angel” Crowley said, feeling his throat beginning to tighten.

  “What would you have us do, love?” Aziraphale asked, and Crowley felt the tears begin to fall.

  “I would grab hold of you, and never let you go” the demon began, and his voice broke. He gave himself a second to recover, and began again.

  “I would sit us down on my sofa, or my bed, somewhere comfortable. I’d pull you into my arms, have you sit with me, and hold you. I’d bring my wings out, and wrap them around us. I’d create a perfect bubble, for us to just be, together. No heaven, no hell, no great plan, no armageddon, just us, forever” Crowley said, letting the tears flow down his cheeks freely. He looked at Aziraphale, eyes still closed, tears falling from his eyes just as freely. A small smile, sad, yet somehow happy, appeared on his face.

  “That sounds like a lovely end to the day, my dear” the angel said, not letting himself open his eyes.

  “Would you like to know something, angel?” Crowley asked, voice heavy with emotions.

  “What, my dear?”

  “After this whole fiasco was over, if we survived the apocalypse, I was going to buy us a cottage, out in South Downs. Somewhere quiet, where we could stay, without anyone bothering us, without the fear of sides” Crowley said, using everything in his power to keep his voice steady and strong. He can’t waiver. His angel needs him to be strong, for the both of them.

  “I’d already found the perfect one. A lovely cottage, with a large garden space, and so many rooms, for all your books, and our trinkets collected over the millenia. You’d love it. It’s called Eden Cottage. I thought it was perfect. A reminder of the first place we met, of where I fell in love with the strangest angel I’d ever met. Perfect place to start a new chapter in our lives together” Crowley said, finally giving in, and sobbing into his fist, as he fell to his knees. Sometime during this beautiful final moment between Crowley and Aziraphale, Hell had created a large wall of hellfire, and Heaven had miracled a bathtub full of the holiest of holy water.

  “That sounds lovely, my dear. I would have said yes instantly” Aziraphale said, as he and the demon opened their eyes, to look at each others faces for the last times. To take in how beautiful each creature was in the others eyes.

  “I love you, angel. Don’t you ever forget that. I have always loved you, and I always will. I love you more than the universe can fathom. I will never stop loving you” Crowley said, as Gabriel silently grabbed his arm, made him stand, and walked him towards the bath tub. Crowley went, willingly, knowing there was nothing else to do.

  “I love you also, my dear. I wish I had said something sooner. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you, and I will love you, even in death” Aziraphale said, as Hastur dragged him towards the hellfire. The angel and the demon locked eyes for the last time, making sure the other knew how much they were loved, and both were thrown into their doom.

  Both felt pain more extreme than they had ever felt before. Their efforts to quiet their screams for the other failed miserably. But both felt the love coming from the other, and it made the pain barrable. After what felt like hours, but had really only been a minute, both the tub, and the column of hellfire, were empty of any occupants. If the executors hadn’t been there, they would have thought there never was anyone there to be killed.

  Centuries later, the story of the angel and the demon who fell in love, and died for each other, were told to the new angels and demons. Word spread to the humans, and someone wrote the story down. It was a tragic tale of forbidden love, and the names Crowley and Aziraphale, the doomed lovers, passed into legend. Some say they found each other in some form of the afterlife. Others say they were both born again, to different faces, bodies, voices. But they’re souls were connected eternally. They found each other, no matter what form they took. Still others say God took pity on her youngest son, and the brightest angel, gifting them a new life together, free from heavenly or hellish interfere. Regardless of what anyone says, there can be no denying that the love the two creatures had for each other was anything but pure.

#good omens #good omens angst #Good Omens fic #pure sadness #nothing about this is happy #i'm so sorry #but also not really

[mxsinistir]

Good Omens Angels: Analysis

So obviously there's a bit of online hate on Good Omens from the Christian community, but honestly you can find that for juts about any show, so that's not what this analysis post is about. The topic of this post is something I've thought about for a while, and yet the thing that made me want to write about it fully was this article I came across. Before I start, I'd just like to say that this article was explicitly written by a Catholic, and though I am Christian, I know there's variations in faith that I'm not entirely aware of. I'm also not bashing the writer of this article. I've had this thought on the angels of GO for a while.

 This article was a review on both Good Omens and Lucifer on Netflix, and though it gave credit where credit was due, it was getting nitpicky with a  lot of the creative liberties that the scriptwriters took with writing angels and demons (Honestly, humans control the representation of all religious figures? Religion is up for interpretation and shaped by humanity? Anyway, not the point, moving on). Basically, the author's problem with the Good Omens angels was that they obviously aren't too . . . Angelic.

Watching the show, we quickly realize that while Aziraphale is the traditional emotional, compassionate, traditional angels, the others are . . . Not as much. They honestly seem like they could care less about humanity, and the article writer seemed very disappointed by the idea that humanity is all alone with their decisions, without any divine guidance or intervention.

Personally, I love this idea.

It's stated that God created humanity in their image, but what's to say the angels were the same? Humans - much like God - have the power to create and destroy on a whim, they have free will, infinite imagination, though they lack the omnipotence to keep this power in check. We harbor things like emotions, hatred, and greed. All of these things are things that Good Omens Angels (And demons, with the exception of our beloved main characters) seem to lack.

The first time I saw the concept of uncompassionate angels in media (when I was like 10 watching a 12 episode anime called Maria the Virgin Witch that I absolutely recommend watching bc I loved it) I was taken aback. Surely angels could love? Surely all angels were good and compassionate and emotional? But this show went on to explain that God didn't create Love - humans did. God may have a sort of love for all of humanity, but real, selfish, selfless love has something about it that only humans can truly harness.

So though the article writer says that Good Omens portrays humans are being all on their own, I honestly would rather it be that way. That's the way it's stated in the bible. Humans have free will, among other powers that angels just simply don't possess in the way we do.

In real life, it's always pissed me off to no end when people refer to horrible things as "the work of the devil." NO - World War I and II were not started by Satan popping a cap in the archduke's ass. Crowley didn't drop the A-Bombs on japan from a flying fucking Bentley. Humans did all of that!

The same goes for good things! If someone helps you with your groceries, it's not God's work, it's a person choosing to be a good person! God doesn't randomly possess people to make them do good things. Humans choose how good or bad they want to be towards something else, and that's literally the defining trait of humanity. We react and shape ourselves to how the rest of humanity Is reacting and changing.

That being said, I believe in divine intervention. I just think that in real life or in Good Omens, it would be subtle. It goes out of it's way to show that while demons do lots of tempting, they don't have the power to force a human into anything. On the other side of the spectrum, Aziraphale sees the good in people, and of course steps in a little more than the other angels, but he literally just exists on Earth to set a good example, similarly to how Jesus was shown to. Because humans react to the people around them - think about it, when everyone is being mean, how often do you actually stand up and step out of the crowd, risking judgment? But if someone takes the first step, we're more likely to follow.

This is shown best with Adam, who of course, throughout the show, represents humanity. He is literally the most average boy in existence. A blank slate who grows up entirely human, but is influenced by both angel and demon towards the end. Still, the only thing he gets out of this is that he realizes that no one can make him do anything. Not Gabriel, not Beelzebub, not Satan, not even God Herself. Because he is human, and being able to choose for yourself and take responsibility for your choices is what being human is all about.

Crowley went out of his way to state that the French Revolution and the World Wars were purely human. That Humanity can be more evil than the devil if it chooses to be. And though apparently, people find the idea unsettling that humanity is all alone without opposing driving forces, but isn’t that the point? That though angels are righteous, doing so has given them an 'above-thee' attitude? And though demons have more 'free-will' than their counterparts, they don't have the compassion that humans do? No one but humans can truly understand human love - the most selfish and selfless thing all at once - and that means that no one can take responsibility for a human's actions but themselves. And I find comfort in that.

TL;DR: Neil Gailman's portrayal of angels is lovely bc they can't fully understand humans while maintaining their 'holier-than-thou' attitude, so the show is one about humanity's free will and the power of their ability to make choices for themselves without divine interference.

Also, sorry if this kind of long and incoherent. I'm gonna keep this to Good Omens tags because I really don't want religious debates in my comments. I'd appreciate any discourse staying within the fandom. I didn't intend for this to be controversial so please don't make it so. Thanks.

#not tagging this with any religion tags bc i dont want that on this post #good omens #good omens angels #good omens thoughts #analysis #good omens analysis #fandom #seriously dont make this controversial #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable plan #angels good omens

[renywrites]

I love your writing! Can you please do 5+1 Things-type with ineffable bureaucracy?

Thank you!! And of course I can, have some angst

(According to Wikipedia and also some forms of Judaism, Zadkiel is the archangel of benevolence, freedom, and mercy. Zadkiel is also said to be a he, but I’m considered to be a she and I say fuck gender so that’s not what’s happening)

*

1.

The first time she questioned, she was only moments old, bathing in the light of her holy Creator, awash with love and wonder and glory. 

“Who am I?” She asked, picking herself up from the floor, her wings new and brilliant and trembling with the effort of simply being in the presence of such magnitude. 

You are Zadkiel, said the one who had breathed life into her, the one who had put every golden freckle on her face, the one who had a Plan for this little angel. 

“Zadkiel,” she echoes, the name clumsy on her tongue. “I am Zadkiel.”

You are the benevolent one, God continues, the merciful one, the one who harbors freedom. You are one of my Seven.

“I am Zadkiel,” the little Archangel repeats, looking up to the One Most Holy, a smile on her lips. 

2. 

The second time Zadkiel questions, she is hand in hand with her lover, Gabriel. They are standing on the outskirts of a crowd, in which the greatest Archangel is speaking. Lucifer was something of a prodigy here, a perfect being who held the attention of everyone around him. His tongue was silver and his reasoning sound. 

At least, it was to a select few. 

“One day he’s going to regret the things that he says,” Gabriel says, his gaze dark and his grip on Zadkiel’s hand tightening. 

The little Archangel blinks, looking up at him in confusion. She’d always walked the line, always done things that had pushed patience or made the other angels nervous. Most said it was her connection to freedom, but Gabriel chalked it up to her ability to be difficult.

“What do you mean?” She asks, and shrinks when her lover turns a sharp glare her way. 

“The things he’s saying are treason, Zadkiel.” He hisses, pulling her away from the crowd to speak with her privately. “You’d do well to disregard him, he has nothing to say that would do any of us any good.”

The little angel averts her gaze from Gabriel’s, staring at the gold cobblestone under her feet. She didn’t like being told what not to think, didn’t like having her feelings disregarded and swept aside. Gabriel was good at that, though, especially when it came to the Great Plan or anything related to it or Her.

“Alright,” she relents at last, if only to have him release his crushing grip on her hand. 

He does, relief seeming to help him relax. He tilts Zadkiel’s chin up, giving her a kind smile and leaning down to kiss her. “It’s better this way.” He murmurs when he pulls away.

But Zadkiel wasn’t so sure.

3. 

The third time she questioned, it was in a private nook of Heaven, in the lap of her lover. 

Lucifer had been cast out of favor, banished to tar pits and fire and endless suffering. A handful of angels had come too, and Zadkiel had nearly been one of them. She had seen the disappointment in Lucifer’s eyes when she had shied away and hidden behind Gabriel, still walking her line.

After nearly driving herself mad with guilt and doubt, Zadkiel had to tell someone. And who best to tell than the one she had fallen in love with?

Gabriel listened silently as she spoke of treason and guilt and worry — so many things that angels were simply not meant to have. He let her speak until she was out of breath, out of words, and finally feeling a bit better. 

“Zadkiel,” he says, slow and soft. 

“You haven’t the faintest how worried I was,” the little Archangel breathes, turning to face him, a relieved smile on her face. “I thought I would burst!”

“Zadkiel,” he says again, a little louder this time.

“Maybe I was wrong, you know? About all this? Maybe I was just being silly.” 

“ZADKIEL!”

The littlest Archangel falls silent, looking up at her lover. Gabriel’s face was stone, his eyes cold and hard, his mouth a thin line. Her smile fades, the relief following. 

“Gabriel,” she says, her voice wavering as she realizes the gravity of what she had done. What she had said. “Gabriel, can you still love me? It was only a slip, just a lapse in judgement…”

“I do not love traitors.” Gabriel growls, and shoves her away.

4.

Her next question comes from ichor stained lips, from the depths of a place that had sounded so good when it had come from Lucifer’s stories. The air smelled of singed flesh from the wings that had been burnt black as a punishment for her crimes. Her beautiful freckles, the ones that had been painted so delicately in gold all those years ago, were now blood and diseased flesh. 

There was an emptiness in her heart, if she even had one now at all. An absence. A place where once, she could feel the love and warmth around her. Now all she felt was rage, and hatred, and disgust. 

They had watched her fall, with pity! Those who she had called her friends had looked away when she begged for forgiveness, when she screamed and cried and was torn from the sky. They had watched Her shatter the halo that tied her to the stars, and had done nothing about it.

Tears drip from her eyes, her breath coming in ragged gasps that sounded like something a wild beast would make, not one who had been part of the Heavenly Host. All this for a simple doubt? All this for a slip, for questions that had been asked by another?

Zadkiel looks to the heavens and screams, cursing the Creator that had created this. She screams until her voice breaks and she gasps for air, her voice as broken as the mess she had become. 

“Why?” She asks, to one who was not listening. To one who would never listen again.

5.

The next time she sees a part of the heavens, she is called Beelzebub, and she is a Prince. 

It takes her by surprise — all the angels were supposed to have left Eden. It was her job to clean up what was left, take what Hell needed, and leave the forsaken garden. All the angels were supposed to have been gone.

Gabriel doesn’t see her, not at first. 

Do you remember me?

When he does, there is no recognition. There is no trace of the love he had once freely given, only the disgust and repulsion that she had seen the day she Fell. Gabriel looks as though he’d rather be anywhere else, looks more pretentious than she remembers, and she vows specifically to make him suffer for what he’d done to her. 

+1.

Six thousand years later, after a failed end of the world, Beelzebub finds herself in bed with none other than the one she had loved so many years ago. 

It had become a regular occurrence for him to be in her bed, sometime after Rome had fallen. Try as she might, her rage died quickly, and it was easier to bed him than to admit that still, in some ways, she missed him. But as the years went on, their hate-fueled fucking softened, and turned into an attachment neither of them knew they needed. 

Gabriel had gone from the thorn in her side to the only one she wanted at her side. He didn’t remember her from Before, but after millenia, she didn’t really remember herself either. Just this. Just the decay and the power and the throne. Zadkiel was dead, and what remained was something better.

Her questions faded over the years, too. She no longer cared why she’d been cast here, just how she was going to get an army in gear enough to get her paperwork finished. Gabriel had proven his loyalty many, many times in hundreds of different ways, so there was no question anywhere near that. 

Now she was more concerned with lazing about in bed with the Archangel, his hands on her skin, and perhaps the lazy pleasure that came with it.

“Morning,” comes Gabriel’s voice from behind her, rough with sleep and from the activities they’d indulged in the night before. His hand wraps around her slight waist, pulling Beelzebub flush against his body.

The Prince pretends to be irritated, wiggling around in a half attempt to get closer and a half pretense of annoyance. “Ugh, you’re too hot.”

“I know,” the Archangel says smugly, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. They both knew she didn’t mind it either way. 

Beelzebub rolls over, settling into his chest and looking up into those purple eyes. Gabriel gives her a lazy smile, his arm adjusting to rest on her back. The casual intimacy had been too much, once, had hurt too badly. It was a reminder of things she had once had, and until Beelzebub realized he didn’t remember, she thought he was making fun of her. 

But now she knew the truth. Now she could look into his eyes, bask in his warmth, and feel safe enough to be vulnerable like this. 

Now she could look into his eyes, into the I love you that always lingered, and for once since the beginning of her life, didn’t find the need to question it.

#Beelzebub #female pronouns for beelzebub #gabriel #ineffable bureaucracy #beelzebriel #renywrites #angel!beelzebub #zadkiel #anon #prompts

[patricianandclerk]

Re: Aziraphale's fraught relationship w/ Heaven and the queer narrative, like... I can see where the other person is coming from, but if Aziraphale just said 'hey, I'm gay', they wouldn't be turning on him (though they might be concerned that this label is a sign that he sees himself as too human, that he can be attracted to what he's attracted to but does he have to make it sound human?)-- their issue is for lack of better word political, not personal. (1/2)

(2/2) But for Aziraphale, there's no difference, not in a 'my existence is political bc I'm queer' way, but because even though he IDs as gay separately from Crowley (his club etc), by this point every part of his life is tangled up in his feelings for Crowley. He's in the process of adopting new politics bc he loves Crowley, he loves the earth bc it's his-and-Crowley's, and he is, internally, a mess who is constantly reminded of Crowley. Their issue isn't his sexuality, but this one romance.

I’m going to say something, and for some people who specifically ID with Aziraphale’s dynamic with Heaven because of their own queer experience, I feel like it might be uncomfortable, but like...

The thing is, Aziraphale is never told by Heaven it wouldn’t be okay for him to be gay. He’s never told that he shouldn’t have human experiences.If Aziraphale walked into Heaven one day, and said, “You know what? I really identify with gay humans, and I like to eat because I enjoy the pleasure and the taste and the textures and the way it fits in with human cultures, and I like old books because I love their smells and how many stories and ideas they fit in with them, and I even like regency snuff boxes, because I think it’s beautiful that something so small and so delicate might have been crafted for such a thing.”

Now, I think everyone is assuming, especially based off of their own experiences with their families re: being queer, that Heaven would immediately go absolutely off the rails and freak out about it, kick Aziraphale out, shout at him, or keep him captive.

You know what my experience with my family was?

I was terrified to come out as trans, because I thought my family would be super weird about it, I thought they’d be nasty, I thought it’d just be really grim. No. They listened when I explained it. They asked a lot of stupid questions, but they weren’t judgey about it. And for several years, because I was so nervous that they were going to reject me (re: my extended family), I kept being super cagey and defensive about everything, even though they’d only ever been accepting.

I was justified in feeling some fear, because it can be very risky to come out as trans to a family who isn’t supportive, but my family was openly supportive, and yet for years after, I treated them as if they weren’t, because I’d built up these expectations in my head that they wouldn’t be.

I was the asshole in that situation. My family did everything right: the only thing they did wrong was not being omniscient and not being able to read my mind.

And that’s what I see when I watch Aziraphale’s interactions with Heaven.

I see an angel who’s terrified to let anything slip in case it all goes wrong, to the extent that he’s actually pretty nasty to people who literally only ever praise his work and say how great it is, and who are so, so excited to get him come home that - knowing how much he cares about his work on Earth, because they think he’s such a hardworker - they’re going to send a fucking archangel to do it in his place.

Gabriel never says it’s wrong to eat food. I didn’t take that from that interaction at all.

Gabriel: [hey, why do you eat that? to me, it looks gross] (which, by the way, is a perfectly common human reaction to sushi, let alone a fucking angel’s)

Aziraphale: it’s sushi. it’s nice. (no explanation. just a vague, it’s nice with a little bit of defensiveness.) you dip it in soy sauce. (gabriel has no idea what that means. the only soy sauce he knows is the soy sauce where his brains should be.)

Gabriel: [oh, sounds gross! as an angel, i find the whole concept of eating kinda squicky, but i’m going to couch it in religious language because we’re fucking angels and i have very few human experiences to talk from instead]

Gabriel meant hey, I think that’s gross, but whatever, it’s your thing. Aziraphale heard, I think you’re gross, and I’ll hate you if you tell me you like humans.

Even with the fucking comment about Aziraphale losing weight... That’s not Gabriel trying to hurt Aziraphale. That’s Gabriel, a moron, repeating fatphobic stuff he doesn’t understand from a culture he doesn’t understand, trying to connect with Aziraphale who DOES understand like it. Gabriel isn’t trying to bully Aziraphale. He’s trying, desperately, as he has for the part six thousand years, to establish a rapport. To be playful. To assure Aziraphale he likes him and cares about his interests. Does he do it wrong? Yes! Is it hurtful? Of course!

But Gabriel doesn’t know that, and has no way of knowing.

Who’s gonna fucking tell him, Sandalphon? Sandalphon can’t tell the difference between Mrs Beeton’s Cookbook and hardcore pornography any better than Gabriel can!

Gabriel doesn’t hate humans. Sandalphon doesn’t hate humans. Gabriel and Sandalphon go play dressup on weekends, and Gabriel goes fucking jogging at the end of the world.

Gabriel says to Aziraphale, look, I know how much you care about Earth, so I’ll give you some time to go finish up before you come home. Why? Because he knows Aziraphale cares. What could he possibly have to finish up, when the Apocalypse is coming? Nothing. It’s not about Earth or the work. It’s about Aziraphale’s feelings.

And I don’t think Gabriel is completely removed from those, either - he’s fucking jogging in the park, and that isn’t for Aziraphale’s business. He’s probably getting one last jog in before the park goes up in smoke, because he enjoys it.

Yes, the angels smite humans. Yes, they got involved in Sodom and Gomorrah, Noah’s Ark, all the other great big murders committed by Heaven against groups of humans. But like... Aziraphale watched that stuff happen too. He never said anything about it, except to Crowley. It doesn’t make it excusable that the angels did all that shit, but the thing about ignorance is that you don’t magically become aware of things you are ignorant to. You have to learn and/or be taught. And the thing is? If you don’t have the tools to go look for yourself, or even realize you can or should go look for yourself, you don’t.

I don’t think, if Aziraphale told the angels he liked humans and that they were important to him, that they’d be angry. I think some of them would be concerned, because they think it’s dangerous for him - they’re worried about him Falling. I don’t think they’d necessarily be surprised. I do think they’d be embarrassing.

But like...

This idea that they’d freak out is something that Aziraphale has made up in his own mind.

They don’t freak out at the end of it all because Aziraphale likes the Earth. In fact, given what happens, I think they probably assume a lot of the Earth stuff was lies, and that he was pretending to care about humans and the Earth in his conversations to hide the fact that he was a spy for the other side.

Aziraphale betrays Heaven. And he...

Never explains why. He rehearses trying to explain, and then he doesn’t. He rambles a bit and then the angels are like, well, this is weird and we don’t get it, so... bye. Hope you’re okay.

Heaven see Aziraphale being a double agent, then find out he wasn’t being a double agent for Hell, he was just being a double agent with one specific demon who tempted Eve in the first place. What the fuck? That’s why they’re angry. That’s why they feel betrayed.

Because they spent six thousand years awkwardly talking to Aziraphale, knowing he liked human stuff and trying to get him to talk about it but not knowing how or why, and then it turns out, from their perspective, that it was never about humans at all. It was about Hell. It was about a demon. Not just a Fallen angel, but a soldier from the other side in the war that slaughtered a whole bunch of them.

And yet, the funniest thing?

The funniest thing of all?

Michael has backchannels in Hell. She knows demons. She seems to have a pretty positive working relationship with them. Gabriel and Beelzebub are very familiar with one another, and to be honest, they act like an old married couple with shared jokes and everything.

I don’t know how much they actually... would have freaked out about Crowley specifically.

Because at the end of it, we don’t know if it’s really about Crowley at all, or the betrayal at all, so much as the fact that Aziraphale and Crowley, for all both sides knew, had planned it for six thousand years. Crowley, with Aziraphale as the accessory who got hold of the murder weapon for him, melted a fucking demon into oblivion. Before he’d actually gotten to do anything, either - it wasn’t self-defense, it was pre-emptive, and he’d been planning it for years. And Aziraphale helped him do it.

I don’t know.

I agree with you, Anon, it definitely is political, but I think the question is like... How much Heaven is actually political over personal, too, because we see only bits and pieces of it.

I just simply don’t agree that it’s as cut-and-dry as “Aziraphale did a bad, now we’ll kill him” because it was about far, far more than that.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #gabriel #michael #uriel #sandalphon #Anomymous #as defined by dictionary #answered

[codicesandflora]

Be Not Afraid

So I was inspired by that post I wrote about Aziraphale keeping his true angelic form hidden from as many people as possible, including Crowley (which can be found here), and wrote a fic for it.

It can also be found on AO3  here for those who would prefer to read it there.

Be Not Afraid

“My dear, I don’t understand what you see in television.”

Crowley chuckled and stretched his legs across the couch. He considered being able to lie here with his head and shoulders in the angel’s lap while watching TV a huge point in favor of doing more of these “Movie/ TV show Nights” at his flat. Then again, that wasn’t something that was going to convince Aziraphale. Not when he also found reasons to do this while Aziraphale read.

“It’s not all like this, angel. And I did offer to watch that performance of Richard II with you instead. You’re the one who picked this show to binge just because you thought the title sounded ‘promising’. Besides, I thought you’d have fun seeing angels on a TV show being the good guys for a change. And on a road trip.”

Aziraphale gave him a pointed, but not too serious glare. “Really, Crowley, I do not know where humans get these ideas about angels or the workings of Heaven. “First of all, this Jonathan would have simply been reassigned elsewhere in Heaven or made to Fall depending on the severity of his mistakes. Secondly, there is no way that Gabriel would have allowed an angel on Earth to intervene so blatantly so often.  And finally, not once did he have to go through the Metatron in order to converse with Her which is probably the most unrealistic part of all.”

Crowley laughed even louder and took one of the angel’s hands into his. “Maybe humans just think that angels are extensions of Her love and like to make them heroes.”

Aziraphale looked down at him, tilting his head. “Do you think so?”

“I do. Can’t blame them either. It’s easy to think that whenever I’m around you.”

Aziraphale beamed and leaned forward, a cue for Crowley to arch upward and meet him for a kiss. The angel cupped the back of his head, and Crowley couldn’t decide if the kiss or the gentle way Aziraphale cradled him was better.

Unfortunately, the kiss was short and when Aziraphale pulled back, there was a pensive look on his face.

“Do you think humans believe that we all look like that?”

“Like Michael Landon? I doubt it. Pretty sure there’s also a show that has a woman playing an angel and she….”

“No. No, not that. That’s not what I mean. I….” Aziraphale took his hand out of Crowley’s, fingers twisting. “Do you think that humans always envision angels as such benevolent looking creatures?”

Crowley frowned and rocked himself forward so he could sit up. Then he swiveled around so he could face Aziraphale.

“Probably. Angels are supposed to be good and all. And you know humans. They are always imagining that other beings look something like them. Don’t know why. Me, I think it’s kind of endearing in a weird sort of way. And this shape is a pretty comfortable one to stay in.”

“I wonder what they would think of us if they saw what we really looked like,” Aziraphale said. There was an edge of old despair in that voice which worried Crowley.

“They’d probably be terrified of us,” Crowley said with a shrug. “They’re humans, Aziraphale. They’re not going to understand the reality of occult beings.”

Aziraphale wrinkled his nose, and Crowley sighed. “Ok, occult and ethereal beings. Point is, they’re not supposed to be used to seeing us in our true forms.”

The demon leaned back against the arm of the couch. “Thought you’d be used to that by now anyway. Isn’t the Bible full of encounters between angels and humans where one of the first things your lot say is ‘be not afraid’? I bet at least a couple of those times referred to something you were involved with.”

“Yes, a couple,” Aziraphale said quietly. “But I didn’t usually handle Divine Proclamations. That was considered to be an archangel’s work. I, I was expected to stay out of the limelight, as it were.”

Crowley’s brow crinkled. “Has anyone seen you as an angel? I mean, aside from Adam and Eve. And Adam the Antichrist.”

“No. No, I…I never saw a need for it. I’m supposed to be guiding humanity away from infernal influences. Revealing what I am would only be a distraction.”

Crowley frowned, nodding. He suddenly realized that both he and Aziraphale had made a point of not bringing up that incident in 1835 when another human found out about Aziraphale. Not that that was surprising. It was a traumatizing series of events for both of them, and it still gave Crowley nightmares. Nightmares that were only eased by holding Aziraphale as close to him as possible for the rest of the night.

The demon shuddered, shaking off bad memories so he could focus on the issue at hand.

“I’m sure it’s a different story in Heaven though, right? It certainly is in Hell. You should see what lurks around some of the darker corners.”

“Yes, I did see some rather ghastly beings,” Aziraphale replied, making sure to not look at him while he said it. “And no, not like you might think. We don’t always go traipsing about in our true forms when we interact with each other. Especially if we plan on returning to Earth in the near future. Only beings like thrones or virtues spend most of their time in their true forms because they never leave the celestial plane anyway.”

Crowley tilted his head back and forth. He had had a question in his comment and it didn’t escape his notice that Aziraphale had ignored it.

“Just curious, but what do you look like? I mean, really look like. I know you saw all the versions of my demonic self in the Garden, but I’ve never seen you look, well, more angel-y.”

Aziraphale squirmed, like he wanted to retreat, but was stymied by the finite area of the couch they were sitting on.

“Oh you know, not so different,” the angel said, keeping his eyes fixed on the now mute TV screen across from them. “We principalities look quite similar to humans, a fact I’m sure you remember from your time in Heaven.”

“Sure, yeah, but….seems weird that I’ve never seen your true form. Six thousand years and you’ve never once….”

“As I said, I never saw a need for it,” Aziraphale said. There was a sound of nerves being stretched taunt in his tone, and Crowley knew he was treading into dangerous territory.

“Well, what about now? A sort of ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.’ No humans will see it while we’re in my flat.”

Aziraphale’s lips creased upward, his teeth showing a little, but it wasn’t really a smile.

“Probably better not. You’re still a demon, and angelic light might be painful to you in some way.”

“Only if you try to Smite me, angel. Besides, if you think about it, there never would have had to been an Armageddon if angels and demons couldn’t stand to be in the presence of each other’s true forms.”

“And, and what about your plants? I wouldn’t want to hurt them. And my wings would probably make a terrible mess if they were fully out.”

“So just keep them out of the physical plane,” Crowley said, shrugging again. “And don’t worry about the plants. I keep a barrier up to prevent supernatural forces from affecting them…unless I want them to be affected.”

“Oh, oh look, there’s something else on the television. Something to do with baking from the look of it. Perhaps they’ll have some….”

“Angel…why don’t you want me to see what you look like?”

It was such a softly spoken question, but it still drowned out every other sound in the room. Aziraphale froze, his gaze becoming distant.

“I don’t look like other angels.”

Crowley’s breath caught. The sheer weight of the pain in those few whispered words made his heart feel as if it was being crushed by cold, cruel fingers. He could see the Adam’s apple in Aziraphale’s throat bob several times while the angel struggled to find his voice again.

“After the humans left the Garden, She…changed me.”

“You…you were a cherub, weren’t you?” Crowley said, unsure of asking the question even as the words left his lips. “They, well Beelzebub, said something about a cherub when they told me to go make trouble.”

Aziraphale slowly nodded. “I guess you could call it a demotion. But…it didn’t…it didn’t entirely take. I’m not sure why. But it left me…not quite being one or the other.”

Crowley’s brow furrowed. He had never heard of an angel hybrid. Then again, this didn’t seem like something Heaven would want to talk about.

His face fell when he looked over and saw the way that Aziraphale’s hands were clenched together on his lap, his chin trembling slightly. It took every bit of willpower he had to not let the fire of his anger at Heaven stir to life again.

“Look, angel, you don’t have to show me if you don’t want to,” he said, forcing his voice to remain calm. “Now or ever. But I’m sure you’re still beautiful.”

One of Aziraphale’s placating smiles flashed onto his face, dissolving in an instant as something much more ancient and bleak took hold. “I’m afraid you’re very wrong about that, my dear.”

Crowley ground his jaw. He was certain he knew why Aziraphale felt so ashamed of his true form, and even if it was dangerous, he also knew that he needed to start counteracting the damage that had been done.

He placed his hand onto Azirphale’s arm. “You’re still an angel, whatever you look like. And you actually love others and care about what She wants for this world unlike far too many of those bastards in Heaven. That’s the sort of thing that makes an angel beautiful, and you know it.”

Crowley squeezed the angel’s arm and reached for one of Aziraphale’s hands. “You’ll always be fucking gorgeous to me, Aziraphale.”

Aziraphale turned shiny eyes toward him. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice cracking at the end of it.

Crowley shuffled over to him, wrapping his arms around Aziraphale. The angel was warm, as always. A warmth that soothed away the chill of darkness in his heart. How could someone who radiated light and warmth like that be anything other than beautiful?

And even if it took another six thousand years, Crowley was determined to convince Aziraphale of that too.

#good omens #fanfic #My fic #see this keeps happening to me #I write some meta and it leads to a fic #no wonder why I can't get stuff done...XD #Crowley #Aziraphale

[bullet-farmer]

Okay, I’m having a horrible mental-health day and feel overwhelmed by work, and talking about something that’s been bothering me really feels liberating. Because I feel like it’s one thing I can control right now.

Please don’t reblog this or tag it. I don’t want this to become Discourse, especially in an awesome fandom. But I needed to get this out in a space where people I trust can reply if they wish. I’m fine with disagreement and discussion, as long as people respect my feelings, or ask for clarification if they don’t understand what I’m talking about.

This got long. And it’s about pronouns. And fictional characters. And idk.

Another thing that kind of bothers me about assuming they/them or ze/zir for Beelzebub’s pronouns, and why I’m using both less and less*: I’m really uncomfortable with how few authors do the same for any other character (save, of course, for Pollution, whose pronouns are clearly mentioned as they/them and really should be used exclusively, because that’s just the decent thing to do).  Of course, some people use they/them across the board, or pronouns other than she/her and he/him in any combination. But in my experience, authors who do this are quite rare, at least on Ao3. In most cases, I find authors using “gendered” (for lack of a better word) pronouns for everyone else--namely, those that (presumably) match the gender of the actor who plays each role. For example: she/her for Michael and Dagon, and he/him for Hastur and Gabriel. 

I don’t want to make assumptions about why people do this. For one thing, making sweeping generalizations about people is always a bad idea. It’s even a worse idea when talking about why a group as diverse as fanfic authors. For another, I don’t know what is in people’s hearts or minds, and I’d rather not try to arbitrate any thoughts but my own. That said, in the West, we are swimming in a sea of gender essentialism and binarism. And I can’t help but feel that both are somehow in play in this phenomenon.

Angels and demons in Good Omens are nonbinary. But from a binarist point of view, you could say that nearly all of the angels and demons have at least a few stereotypical masculine or feminine qualities. For example: Michael wears makeup, and a very frilly blouse at one point; Michael’s suit and Uriel’s have what we would call a feminine cut. Dagon has long hair in a style we would call feminine, Sandalphon has male-pattern baldness, Hastur has a deep voice and wears “masculine” clothes, etc. 

But Beelzebub breaks this pattern. She’s what people in the West tend to think of when they hear the term “androgynous”: somewhat boyish and youthful in appearance, dressing in typically “masculine” clothes that don’t emphasize her shape, and behaving in a way that many would call more masculine than feminine. To put it another way, she is aggressive, she speaks forcefully, she shows no hallmarks of being a queen or princess, and she entirely lacks subtlety. Women, of course, are socialized to do the exact opposite. Save for her appearance at the airfield, she is also far more unkempt than any character in the series with the possible exception of Hastur.  I’m beginning to see several problems as I go deeper into this deep dive.  First problem: the assumption that “nonbinary” means androgynous or genderless. And, as a subset of that problem, the assumption that androgynous and agender/genderless are synonymous, and that they/them and ze/zir are “genderless” pronouns. For some people, they very much are. For others, they are not. (For example, a blogger I follow identifies as a cis woman and uses both she/her and they/them).  Second problem: The fact that a character played by an actress simply must be agender or “not female” because said character is androgynous and behaves in stereotypically “masculine” ways.  Third problem: ...Why are we only insisting on they/them or ze/zir for the dirtiest, least conventionally attractive character in the show? I mean, being dirty and unkempt isn’t a stereotypically nonbinary trait, but considering how society sees women who don’t obsess over their looks as “not real women,” this has some very unfortunate implications to me. Fourth problem: Y’all, Neil didn’t say that Beelzebub would probably use they/them as pronouns. He said “zir” (and to be honest, I think that was him being witty rather than making an official statement). I understand that some people can uses these interchangeably to describe themselves, but they really aren’t interchangeable. And acting like they are, strikes me as basically saying “well, these are all nongendered pronouns, so just pick whichever you like best when talking about someone.” Imagine calling someone whose pronouns are they/them, “ze/zir” and thinking that isn’t misgendering or upsetting. I also don’t see posts that insist we respect any other character as nonbinary--particularly characters like, say, Hastur, Ligur, or Gabriel. (Perhaps I’m mistaken, but I really feel like people are even more hesitant to call more “masculine” characters nonbinary than they are Dagon, Michael, etc. Which also strikes me as having really unfortunate implications. But that’s a whole other post.) Or regular use of “Nonbinary Character” and “Canon Nonbinary Character” tags on AO3 for any other demon or angel.  All of this is really starting to get to me as a nonbinary/genderfluid person who absolutely does not see myself as agender or androgynous, even if people regularly describe my looks as “masculine” for reasons I’ll get into in a second. I’m genderfluid and nonbinary because I do not fully or consistently identify with the gender I was assigned at birth--and because I never have. While some days I feel fine with having society see me as a cis woman, some days I am deeply not okay with it--and am actually dysphoric because my body doesn’t look more stereotypically androgynous. However, when I realized that stereotypical androgyny is a concept that cisheterocentric society forces on nonbinary people--and DFAB people in particular--my dysphoria became a bit more manageable.  I also do not attend to my appearance. I have no interest in wearing makeup, flattering clothes, or even feminine ones. I wear skirts for comfort; I’ve always hated pants because of sensory issues, but if I didn’t, I’d probably wear a lot of “men’s” clothes. As it is, I wear T-shirts cut for men, rather than the fitted versions for women. And baggy clothes that men can get away with wearing, but women not so much. I don’t regularly style my hair despite having it long. I don’t shave any part of my body--which began upsetting people when I was twelve, y’all. Adults constantly bothered me about it, and about looking more feminine and stylish. I may be the only “girl” on the planet whose father encouraged her to wear shorter skirts and more flattering tops when she was in her early teens.

It really upset me, but at the time I had no language for why--other than that I felt pushed and harassed. Thankfully, people have since mostly cut that shit out, but when you deal with it as a child, it really leaves some scars and some gender confusion--a fact I only realized while typing this out! Of course, I don’t believe that any of these life choices inherently make anyone any particular gender. But society thinks differently. To it, I’m a failure as a woman, and when you add on the fact that I’m nearing forty, childfree, offbeat, clueless about ‘appropriate” interactions with men, and loud and messy because of ADHD, I’m labeled as even less of a woman. I would have no problem with this if it didn’t come with the pejorative baggage. I have never been a girl or a woman, though I feel I share enough in common with this gender to be comfortable having it be part of my identity to some degree. Even as a child, I felt this but I had no name for it because no one was talking about trans issues in a conservative red state in the 80s and 90s, and they sure as fuck wouldn’t have done it around kids. I didn’t even hear the word “nonbinary” until the early 2010s.  All of this also means that I don’t get many characters or images that represent me. Again, media portrayals of people like me (DFAB and not consistently woman-identifying) are so rare that Beelzebub is the ONLY one I have found in my adult life who isn’t, you know, the butt of a joke about viragos and lesbians who are too ugly to get a man, and “undateables.” So having people insist that using she/her is somehow misgendering is...well, I get that it’s not directed at me. That it isn’t about me personally. That it isn’t meant to hurt me. That it is a lot of nonbinary people and genderfluid people talking about their own experiences. I know all of that, and I don’t begrudge people their feelings. But it still kind of hurts when they disapprove of disagreement. And it makes me worry that fewer people will read my fic, and may accuse me of misgendering if they do, even if I always “warn” for pronouns. I’m even hesitant to make posts like this or to refer to Beelzebub as she/her in casual conversation. Which, well...kind of makes me feel like I do in life. Almost no one but my therapists knows I’m not cis, because I don’t think I could explain it to them without causing confusion and some distress. Which I don’t want to cause and don’t have the spoons to deal with, especially when my own gender issues are so complicated and unclear even to me.

I also just don’t have the spoons to deal with people for assuming I’m a cis, straight girl writing a hetero relationship when I use she/her in most of my Beelzefic. And to be honest, I’m just sort of hurt at the inconsistency around pronouns and the issues said inconsistency raise for me. 

I mean, like I said, I know this isn’t personal, and I do my best to keep that in mind. But I don’t like having to hold my thoughts in because they might upset other genderfluid and nonbinary people.** I have to do that enough in my life already as a queer person, and as a mentally ill person whose feelings are not always appropriate to the situation. Having to hold them in here, too, feels really unfair and frustrating to me, and kind of like I can’t be myself even in LGBTQ+ spaces. so... tl;dr  Use whatever pronouns for Beelzebub you like, or no pronouns at all. I am not the pronoun police, and I would never tell anyone what to do with their writing. But please don’t accuse people of misgendering if they do otherwise, or mistreat them if they do, or make assumptions about them or their reasons. You don’t know who they are or what experience they’re writing from, just as they don’t know who you are and your experiences. I guess that’s it. thank you. 

* Yes, I am aware of what Neil said on the subject. I’m genderfluid and allowed to disagree and to present an alternate view. ** I really don’t care too much about cisgender folks’ opinions on this issue. I’m sorry, but I don’t. Especially when cisgender people opine about what pronouns we should use for a character. I’m glad that they’re concerned and think they’re trying admirably to be good allies, but this really is an in-house and stay-in-your-lane issue.