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heartstringsduet · 1 year

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Hold my (detached) hand, darling - Klaine Halloween One-Shot

Summary: Every monster loves Halloween, crossing realms to terrify humans for one night. Every monster but zombie Blaine. Blaine’s just busy trying not to literally fall apart in front of Kurt.

Rating: G A/N: A rewrite of an old Halloween story inspired by my favorite German children story collection. All fluff for once, with a demon who wants to be nothing like a monster and a hopeless romantic zombie who loses all wits and limbs around him.

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Blaine was woken up by something walking all over his face, stomping down as hard as spider legs could. They were soft like eyelashes and tickled on his cheek. His eyes opened, taking in the huge purple rows of eyes belonging to Wilhelmine, the smallest of his roommates.

“Blaine, rise! It’s here, it’s here. It’s Halloween.” The spider screeched.

Blaine's movements were so sudden that Wilhelmine barely managed to squeeze her eight legs around the tip of his nose. As he sat up in his stone coffin, a soft thud could be heard as one of Blaine's arms landed on the carpet of spider webs. He just helped the spider down to the floor before sticking his arm back on with the glue he had standing everywhere for cases such as this. He was not as good as other zombies at sowing things back on, though he was rather good at losing them. One of the best actually.

The skull next to his bed announced the weather, rainy and, if truly lucky, there would even be a thunderstorm. Its clean teeth chattered with laughter of joy in the prospect of tremendously devastating weather. What a blessing, last years Halloween had been so mild.

Since this night was a big, big deal, Blaine made sure to soak in the mud bath longer than usual. After all, one didn’t visit the Human realm only once per year. Mud dried, he opened his cupboard, losing one finger in the process. He ignored it for now, four fingers were more than enough to get dressed.

The crocodile shirt grinned at him first, bearing a large row of pointy teeth, yellow eyes glowing in the dark. “Take me, I’m hungry,” its biting voice demanded.

“Not today.” Blaine declared smiling. “Today is Halloween and I don't want people running away from me.”

“Isn't that the purpose of Halloween?” Wilhelmine piped up. “To scare those little humans out of their minds?”

As if agreeing, the shoes made out of hardened slime clapped along loudly. They would look glowingly spooky on him, he decided, and silenced them by slipping into them.

“You'd look fabulousss with me.” A poisonous, green snake hissed. It was his favorite one, matching his shoes. “No, it’sss me you want.” “No, me-” Blaine winced as his collection of snakes got tangled in a fight. Maybe others were right, maybe he owned too many of them. But how could he resist? They all had different patterns and colors.

Another finger got ost on the coil of snakes as he pulled the lime green one out. The other snakes threw a hissy-fit he ignored. When he put it on, the snake slid around his neck squeezing comfortably tight around it. Then it twisted itself into a bowtie. Blaine yelped when it got tighter, nearly cutting off his head. And that would be hell to glue back on. He was just about to take human trousers and shirt he had for this occasion, when the cupboard was closed with a bang.

He jumped back when the crocodile shirt started hovering in the air in front of his face. It rightfully complained about the tight grip an invisible force had on it.

“Quinn, is that you?”

“Wear that.” A female disembodied voice said. Blaine quickly opened his cupboard again to retrieve the specter glasses. Only when he put them on could he see the human looking blonde woman with the forever wine stained dress. She shook the crocodile shirt then until got motion sickness. “It will bite into your body parts before you lose them if you're lucky.”

“But it could harm-“

“Blaine, you are not 126 anymore. I can’t keep on being living with someone who ruins this houses reputation. They all think us weird. No worse, nice.” Her green eyes glowed red, her hair rose to the ceiling. “Halloween is our chance to redeem ourselves. So go out and for once, be scary.”

“I’m not sure this is me, though,” Blaine said. Quinn gave an exhausted moan but at Blaine’s perfected puppy eyes, she finally calmed back down.

“It’s one day.” She hovered over and gave the snake a tug to straighten it. “I mean, who knows, maybe you could actually be nominated for King of Haunt this year.”

“With you as the Scream Queen?”

Her laugh was light but he felt a pinch by her invisible fingers in his cheek. Quinn was best kept happy, especially on Halloween. “Of course, who else? Hummel?”

Blaine blushed. “Well, he was once-“

“That was just because he was the most pathetic downworlder ever. What’s scarier than crowning a demon who keeps his human cover because he thinks his true self looks ugly? We had to live in terror of his niceties for a year! Remember the human fashion day he implemented? Even you are wonderfully spooky compared to him.”

In all of Underworld, Kurt was the only creature that could warm Blaine’s long cold blood. The demon had been the most curious and interesting downworlder Blaine had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Everyone was so concerned of being horrible, intimidating and spooky. Not Kurt. Kurt had the audacity to be unique. It was his good right to want to keep his human appearance, especially such an exquisitely beautiful one. Maybe not beautiful in their world, but in Blaine's eyes. That was what counted.

“I still think he deserved to win. I voted for him. And not as a prank.”

Quinn didn't answer because apparently she decided this conversation was over and had vanished. The perks of being invisible and uncaring.

Blaine sighed. After he reglued his limbs with the best snot glue he owned, he slipped into the crocodile shirt and red human pants. Checking his outfit in the mirror, he felt like he missed something so he added a brooch he had found in the human realm last year to his centaur fur coat. It looked like a tiny pocket watch and it moved with every step. He knew Kurt appreciated fashion that was out there.

“Ready to scare people?” The crocodile shirt asked, his slitted eyes hypnotically following the swing of the brooch.

“Ready to wow them.”

The creatures living in Hellpit City gathered around the gate to the foreign world of the humans. On days other than Halloween, it went unused by them. The peeks they got through it, of office cubicles, joggers and human men recording podcasts was enough to scare the downworlders off.

But today was Halloween and for once, the human realm was only scary in their preferred way. Plus, neither of them would need a disguise to disappear in the crowds of humans in unrealistic costumes. Witches, mummies, nixes, furies and ghosts created loud chatter while they waited for the other world to turn dark.

A werewolf, skin patchily covered in fur, ran over on all fours to greet Blaine and his friends. Finn was a bit more dog than he was human and everyone appreciated it. Everyone but Blaine, who thought that all monsters could damn well look the way they wanted to.

“You ready to make people piss their pants in terror, Anderson?” Finn asked with a howly voice.

“Actually, I was planning to do some shopping and make it an early night.”

“Early night?” Artie, the skeleton, asked. He was seated in a wheelchair made of bones since the bones from the pelvis down were missing. ”Shopping? What are ya talking about?”

“He’s doing what every civilized downworlder should do on an occasion like this.”

Blaine grinned at the floor, recognizing the voice and not daring to meet Kurt’s eyes when he heard him approach. He knew them to be as blue as the gruesome summer sky. Knew his chestnut hair was tidy and soft, unlike the scratchy fur on Finn’s body. He looked human to most downworlders but Blaine knew better. Kurt’s skin was completely otherworldly and Blaine was head over still-attached-heels. Daring to look up, one eye threatened to fall out of its sockets when it took in the stunning demon. He always looked terrifyingly handsome but Blaine nearly lost his head again over Kurt’s lean body showing off in a tightly wrapped black bat cape. Blaine quickly pushed his eye back in with one hand and awkwardly held onto his neck with the other. He should have used twine, not glue. This always happened around Kurt, how embarrassing.

“Civilized? Civilized where? Not in this world certainly or we’d be doomed,” a vampire called Santana snapped. Her eyes glowed red in joy when she played with the crocodile shirt he wore. She laughed whenever its sharp teeth missed, laughed harder when it crushed her hand and made her bleed.

“Preach.” Artie hollered.

“Remind me again, who was it that asked me to bring them blush and lipstick from MAC so they wouldn't look so dead anymore?”

Santana pointed a bloody bitten finger at Kurt. “Shut up.”

“Times are changing. Most of us don’t go over to scare people anymore, but to feel human again.” Blaine shivered when a wave of pure energy swept over him and pushed Santana a few steps back. “At least I’m brave enough to admit it.”

The surrounding downworlders now looked at Kurt, still visibly human but eerily far from it at the same time. Like the truth lurked too close to the surface.

“Kurt is right. I think we all can learn or relearn something-”

“You’re just as nice and embarrassing as Kurt!” Someone interrupted him. Blaine didn’t know the witch, or knew the other creatures who joined her hollering. He wished his ears would fall off, for once.

He only calmed when he saw Kurt watching him.His face was set stoney and for a second, just for a fraction really, Blaine caught a glimpse of the real him. Marron skin, coal red, teeth sharpened and long, and hair made out of flames. By the devil, Kurt was just breathtaking in any and all forms. Just as quickly, Kurt was back to looking human. Only now Blaine felt like he had been the only one invited into his secret. It was shockingly intimate.

His heart, silenced by death, let out a tiny beat. Maybe it too could slip and fall, like all his limbs. He just hoped it would get caught.

There was no hint of hesitation when Kurt grabbed his hand and led him away from the gate and the other monsters. Only slight embarrassment when his hand fell came off, leaving Kurt holding hands with barely anything but well, a hand. Their sometimes friends, sometimes cruel monsters, called after them that they shouldn’t take it personally. They ignored them. It didn’t even bother Blaine. Not when Kurt turned his head and showed him a rare smile before continuing on. Blaine watched Kurt squeeze his separated hand and swore he felt it rattle his entire body. He couldn’t calm down, especially not when he saw where they were headed.

“I’m sorry it’s so tidy.” Kurt shrugged. “It’s a quirk of mine.”

Indeed, the house was tidy. No spider webs or dust settled on the floor, no blood covering the walls and no howling portraits. It looked unlike anything Blaine had seen in Hellpit City, but it had a certain appeal. Something tickled at his brain, and it wasn’t Wilhelmine for once. It was something that happened so rarely, a strange feeling of familiarity that filled him with bittersweet longing.

It’s precisely how he felt about Kurt. Like they had forgotten it but in another life, before this, they had been the most precious to each other. He’d seen it one Halloween when he had snuck into a cinema instead of scaring the kids. Oh, how he had wished himself and Kurt into the silly roles of the silly romantic movie. Humans did some strange things that made Blaine’s stomach flip.

Strange like twirling around a room. Strange like arms wrapping around one another. Strange like pressing lips to lips. What that would feel like, he wondered. What that would feel like if he did it with Kurt?

“I think you may need some stitches.” Kurt said, pulling him out of his fantasies. He gently lifted Blaine’s severed hand. “Would you mind me doing it? Only if it’s not too weird, I mean.”

“I - yes, of course.” Blaine sheepishly adds, “it’s always such a hassle to do it myself. And I’m sure you’re an expert, I’ve seen you sow your clothes.” The crocodile shirt shudders against him at the thought.

Blaine was asked to wait in the living room, which was just as neat and unscary as the hall. He stood waiting, looking around. It was only after a while that he noticed how relaxed his snake bowtie and the crocodile shirt got, how the slime shoes got sticky with content. They felt just as home here as he did.

Kurt returned with a small case made out of wood, a material they hardly used in this world. He had seen it everywhere over in the human one, but here they preferred hardened slime and gravestones to make most of their furniture and objects. As everything, he found it charming.

Of course, his eye finally chose this moment to fall out, exhausted from his excessive staring. Blaine felt ashamed when Kurt laughed, but then he got caught in the clear voice and the seldom heard sound. How nice, a laugh.

How unscary and endearing.

Kurt walked over and picked up his eye and handed it to him. Their hands brushed and Blaine gulped down the spit threatening to run down the seams between neck and head. Oh, god. Before he could do anything else embarrassing, he followed Kurt who had sat down and patted the space next to him.

Blaine yelped as he sunk into the object, so unexpectedly soft. “I have never seen a soft bench. What is it made of?”

“It’s called a couch,” Kurt said with glee. “Humans use it in their living quarters. I felt like stone is not made to relax on.”

Blaine only nodded dumbly. Well, he was glad to have chosen his human pants. His other ones would have likely bitten into this couch, never to let go.

Kurt waved a needle and Blaine’s hand in front of him. “Are you ready?”

He put on what he hoped was a brave face. The snake bowtie hissed a cough like chuckle, giving his nerves away.

“This may hurt a little-“ Kurt said. Blaine imagined the brutal pain he knew from sowing but Kurt’s fingers were nimble, skilled. So gentle, he barely felt the sharp object enter his wrist. Wherever Kurt touched him, Blaine swore he could feel his pulse come to life.

They started off silent, but then Kurt said, “I know I’m not like the other downworlders. They all think I don’t belong and you know what? I agree. Not once have I enjoyed scaring humans. Why should I? What’s so enjoyable at being so hideous that people nearly die looking at you?”

You could never be hideous, in no form.

Since he couldn’t say that, Blaine admitted, “I don’t know. I actually don’t fit in here, either.”

When it tried to bite Kurt, Blaine swatted at his shirt. He continued holding its crocodile jaw shut before it could let the hateful words slip or worse, before it swallowed Kurt. His shoes clicked in protest. Just the snake seemed calm, probably not processing what was being said.

“Can I tell you a secret? A secret not even my clothes know? And you can tell you they are sneaky little things. Once my entire wardrobe had an intervention.” Kurt’s eyebrow rose. ”An intervention about me wearing the snake as a bowtie instead of a belt.”

“I think it fits you. Or it looks awfully horrible, however you like it phrased.”

Blaine smiled. The feeling of dread at the prospect of his confession was foreign, but it’s nothing compared to the feeling of never saying it out loud. ”I - I - I wish to be human again. I can't remember my past life, but how great must it be to be joyful in the sunshine and not have your limbs falling off when you get up? How nice must it be not to be in danger of getting swallowed by something on your way to work? And the human world -” Blaine sighed. “How nice would it be to hear their recorded instruments daily instead of once a year? To laugh at more things? To eat things other than maggots or dirt?”

He nearly finished there. But the biggest thing, his most secret of secrets bursts out of him. “I sing!” Once a full moon ago, he had seen it in this human movie. And he had just repeated it. and he has done so every day since. Every year, finding a new tune now was the highlight of his Halloweens.

For a second, he thought Kurt would judge him like all the others. But of course, he didn’t. Instead, Kurt’s smile not only melted Blaine, but even the crocodile shirt became docile.

“I do, too. And I dance. It’s so wonderful, isn’t it?” Kurt’s joy was palpable as he gave his now fully reattached hand a squeeze. “Let all those downworlders curse us out. They’ll never have as much fun scaring people as we have with music.”

Blaine didn’t know even heart could sing until his rang clearly. Or was it Kurt’s?

Over the beat of it, Blaine asks, “So you’re not worried because we’re different?”

“I’d be worried if we weren’t.”

Blaine couldn’t reply, feeling like the snake had tightened its grip and clogged his throat. In silence he watched Kurt examine his stitches. The thread is invisible, but he’s never felt it more secure and permanent. When his shoes clicked this time, it was in applause.

“All finished up. I hope you are not into the ugly thick stitching those blind trolls try to make a trend.”

“No, it’s perfect. Thank you, Kurt.”

“Yeah, thank you, Kurt,” The crocodile snarled in echo.

Looking down, Blaine saw their hands still tightly clasped. Only this time, he feels where they’re joined. Kurt hummed a tune, making him strain to listen to every note. A new song for him to memorize and one he won’t have to listen to twice. He’d remember this for as long as he was undead.

Feeling bold and stupid and overall all those emotions Blaine never knew he could have, he followed the urges crushing against his ribcage. It was over as quick as a blink, only the tingling sensation on his lips proof of his actions. He had done the lip to lip thing, because he’d have died again if he hadn’t. It felt like the most harmonious of human songs.

“Was- oh devil- that was very strange.” Blaine mumbled. He would have kept on talking, but Kurt pressed his lips against his again.

“It's strange, isn’t it?” Kurt agreed. “Just like us.”

#klaine #klainefic #halloweenfic #klainehalloween #gleefic

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