#god I have so many mixed feelings

[macabreblublu]

From Lego monkies, to weirdly attractive Hunter aliens, british morbid puppets

And now,

Rugged military men from a reboot version of a game (that’s still thriving, don’t come at me, I don’t play much games I’m sorry-) and was popular when I was a kid-

Yeah anyways uhhhh,

*shuffles through a messy table full of papers covered in sketches of Ghost and/or Soap

Yeah :)

#blu babbles #i don’t even- #how did I go from non-humans to #humans?? #it’s the men innit #god I have so many mixed feelings #I literally have a whole post in my drafts dedicated to one character from CoD MW2 2022 #and the whole thing is just to justify w h y I like em but #I’m too shy to post it (but maybe I will if I wanna clear out my drafts one day) #and plus #it’s basically just gonna be like a drop of water into the ocean #because we all have the same opinion about this dude #I think some people don’t even have to guess who I’m talking about

[marchsage]

world's most well-adjusted daughter

#mizuki okiura #okiura mizuki #aitsf #ok now spoilies for that game in the next tags. if u do not tag aini spoilers and aitsf i guess then thats on u #aitsf spoilers #aini spoilers #ai the somnium files #aini #mizuki date #u ever think abt how little time mizuki got to be mizuki date with her dad before everything in aini went to shit #i can acknowledge it follows the res route without being happy that its like BAM ok now mizuki's lost her parent AGAIN #anyways thinking abt how messed up itd feel to lose the same eye date lost but now ofc he's lost so like. salt in the wound #and ik u/ch/////iko///shi said she stays w others who help her get back on her feet but like god i imagine she's resentful that it ended up #that shes stuck in a situation like this #maybe take it as a redesign too idk i have so many overwhelming thoughts abt a mizuki that did Not cope with it as 'well' as she did in ain #hence covering her eye. a more date inspired look still mixed w her old design too #my art #yea nvm the more i think abt it the more this is less redesign and more post-explosion route in aini #shes got her backpack..... her missing eye......... girls gone thru it all

[howdydopillar]

hate that we’re getting ANOTHER friend type care bear…

love their design but…

dawg.

you could’ve been something so much more 😭😭

#having very mix feelings about true friend bear rn #I hate that they’re literally “TRUE FRIEND bear” but I also really love their design… aaauagghhhh #we have so many damn friend type care bears god damn 😭😭😭 #ALSO… true friend bear..? true heart bear..? Bros what if… FAMILY…… that’s gonna be my headcanon now. #☆ (it’s time to make history!) #care bears #true friend bear

[puppyeared]

save me old flipnote studio MVs.......

#im going thru old flipnotes i used to watch years ago and ouggghhg so many good ones #is twenty one pilots still popular.... do people still remember the TRNDSTTER and marble soda meme......... #its like im unlocking some sort of primal part of my brain and everything is coming back to me. one of my biggest inspirations as a kid #i still remember thinking the final transmission lyrics were the coolest thing and watching =TopHat= Bee and Melissa over and over #theres a very specific feeling of longing and nostalgia looking back and watching these again years later #especially when there isnt anything genshin or mcyt and instead its either fnaf undertale eddsworld or another obscure #interest... and not even fnaf sister location its like fnaf 3 and 2. its THAT old. and a lot of oc MVs especially pokemon ocs and furries.. #god but they were so creative u know. i still find it amazing ppl took this little lightbox animation on the fucking NINTENDO DS and #cranked it all the way to 11.. like if u look at the transitions and movement its so fucking fluid its insane..!! HOW DO YOU MAKE THE #CHARACTERS SPIN??? AND CHANGING CAMERA ANGLES??? and keep in mind youre doing this all with a shitty stylus #on a THREE BY TWO INCH SCREEN. you only get two layers you can go up to 29FPS and you only have 999 slides to work with #and 24FPS eats up a lot of that. absolutely insane it literally boggles my mind every time i think about it. AND SOME ARE EVEN FULL COLOR #i forgot how popular EDM was back then too...they were really good for timing beats though so you get a lot of MVs with #strobe last and marble soda. porter robinsons goodbye to a world was also popular with undertale and oc MVs. also a lot of vocaloid #someone made a flipnote abt the warner bros fnaf movie being announced EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO. it even used the stay calm audio from #the office.... i wonder how theyre doing now... i love you shitty grainy MV audio.. but i have mixed feelings abt the flashing colors #ppl LOVED animating the sans vs frisk fight. aishite and primadonna were also big ones they were SICK AS FUCK #lots of these inspired my old oc designs.. a lot of my characters had side bangs with one eye covered. animal ears and simple eyes too #now i kinda wanna try my hand at the marble soda meme cause i loved it as a kid lol.. i wonder if i should compare my old and new art here #UGHHHH IM SO NORMAL ABOUT NOSTALGIA. IM SO NORMAL ABT MY SCHOOL BOOK DRAWINGS WITH SHIBA BROWS #yapping #nostalgia

[junotter]

sometimes researching for avatar redesigns has you 6 layers deep into the Japan's Meiji era allies wiki

#im trying to mess with some of the stuff that feels weird about the ways the fire nation is depicted idk #like i do not feel optically it is good for like them to be so heavily based on japan's imperialist actions #while dressed in clothes that come from places japan colonized #but i dont want it to just be solely japanese though i did draw zuko and azula in hakama but its largely cause i wanted to draw hakama #and like the only place with strong japanese influence being kiyoshi island and my own frustration with the modern day samurai depiction #i think fundamentally it isnt a choice that had as much thought as i am putting in put into it but it does raise an eyebrow for me #anyway i think keeping the thai influence is fine despite the brief invasion japan had into thailand due to thailand then allying with japa #and further allying with the axis due to allying with japan #ugh and ive been told not to think this much about it because its fiction but its also fiction so so so heavily based on real places #and when you base fiction on real cultures you fall into some unintentional pitfalls #i also fucking hate the royal fire nation robes they look so meh and the most costumey out of everything in the show #they look like heavy blankets despite being a supposedly hot nation #theres ways to have heavy robes (heian era japan) but they look like i make them out of fleece and velvet blankets #back to kiyoshi island i think the really only aesthetically japanese reference in the show being an island of noble warriors is lame #plus over done #it feels like nowadays theres a lot of people who get all whiney about people saying fire nation is based off japan #but like dude the creators in the comics and korra like go even more into the japanese influence and clearly it was the original intentions #also i do think you could do some pretty interesting world building by having say there be an older cultural influence on kiyoshi island #from the fire nation especially if the place is established as a central port area then you tie in some okinawan or even hawaiian reference #and gives an explanation that makes sense to why kiyoshi stands out from the rest of the earth kingdom you have long term cultural trading #and it establishes interesting relationships even pre kiyoshi time thereby drawing back onto some real historic references #cause for awhile ryukyu china and japan used to be this trading triangle which could explain some of these various influences going on #i think you can get a really interesting harmony when you create the fire nation out of a mix of japan and thailand #i mean both have these floating buildings due to living on some pretty wet lands and theres harmony in that mix #god i did see one person go like “fire nation is more based on china because theres a lot of red and red is important in china” #my brother in christ red is also important in japan #red is important in like many many asian cultures #i mean of course a lot of that importance stems from china and cultural exchange with china but idk kinda silly to say with your whole ches #like if you want to bring china in then the dragons are the biggest thing like sure some mythos has dragons in japan #but a lot of those comes from china in some way

[boxwinebaddie]

Hi Uncle Nina !!

I don't wanna clog your ask box with stupid shit but this is stupid shit but it was also my bday on the thirteenth so shjdjdjs

As a fellow Monster addict ( I got a flat of Monster for my bday and collect the cans I have 30 diff ones so far <3 ) I need to know what Stan's favourite is

And on the less stupid side of things I was also hoping to potentially hear more about Stan's trans journey/Kyle finding out Raven is trans

Also I'm sorry your job has been so stressful lately :(( I hope you have a good day 🧡

- Stan 🧡

hi orange heart stan! <3

it's so good to hear from you, baby.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHSLAY, MY LOVE! i'm sorry i'm a little late, but you know me -- everything i do is fashionably late, darling. ;)

but also!!!!! call your wonderful, lovely ask message stupid shit again!!! see what happens!!! i'm gonna frown So WIDE, i'm gonna look so Upset. i'm going to hold you up to the sun!!! JUST WATCH!!!! >;/

my sweet stannie; you are a gift, a treasure. and your ask memes are a pleasure. i don't find them stupid in any shape or form, be nice. conversely, they are extremely special to me and it's why i put off writing this message for a little while because i wanted to respond to it thoughtfully, seeing as though it's your bday message.

which, *cracks knuckles* to get the ball roooollling.

i can absolutely tell you what monster energy is stan's favorite, but as a bday bonus, bc i wasn't sure which stan you wanted to know about, or if you wanted both: i'll give you both my style's fave monster flavs

and i was going to go into some ravenstan trans lore after that, but i feel like that info should go in it's own ask, yeah? i just don't want it to get cluttered. so if you feel so inclined, would you mind sending me a second anon where i can drop that info? thank you, baby! mwah

but now, w/o further ado...

please enjoy the most Refreshing part of your day <333

for context ( and actually because i got an anon once who wanted to know whether i drink energy drinks ), i don't really know that much about energy drinks/flavors because i don't really drink energy drinks.

i mean okay, i'm not really sure if it counts as an energy drink, but i will chug a guayaki yerba mate like it is the elixir of life. ( also i fully maintain that pep stan drinks the enlightenment flavor and ravenstan drinks the raspberry one -- crunchy eco kings ) my favorite one is the passion terrere one. it's like the only one that doesn't come in a can and only comes in a glass bottle...that ice cold passion terrere mate in the glass...it hits so different than the can...oh my god. so good.

and as far as monsters go, i pretty much only drink pipeline punch bc i'm a pretty pink princess and that's what hot girls drink <3 but other than that i drink black coffee because i am an exhausted teacher girlie, but that's purely for fuel. to be honest, i rarely drink energy drinks just for fun, i only have caffeine to stay upright.

which isn't a great idea...but...i am not a role model....

speaking of:

so i told riley this story the other day, bc i needed to get her brilliant genius girl insight on energy drink flavors because she is the sugar free energy queen ( riley's answer was kyle x ultra strawberry dreams and stan x ultra mango fiesta, which, everyone say thank u riley <3 )

-- also god if you are real, bring back the watermelon lime venom you discontinued, you sick fuck, it was riley's favorite, thank you for giving us lovely orange heart stan, and fuck you very much for making ME, bitch! come on down, king! you won't! why the fuck would you extend my coworkers vacation! fight me, ugly!!!! --

and i was telling her about how i am the chaotic kenny friend, i make really bad, chaotic decisions, have no self preservation, hype and gas up my extremely bad ideas and convince myself i'm big brain, wow.

and...oof. so like 2-3 years ago during finals week, i had a fuck ton of essays and projects due ( i was a very bad student btw which is funny bc i'm a teacher ) and no idea how i was gonna do them, so i had the Brilliant Idea...to buy three Random bang energy drinks...

AND SHOTGUN ALL OF THEM BACK TO BACK LIKE BEER CANS.

ohhhhhhhhhhhh my god, party girl nina. help. crying.

and yknow, i thought this was such a good idea! i was like wow i'm gonna be so awake, i am going to b invincible.

i....was not Invicible. i was...very, very sick. i was like almost catatonic and shaking on the floor of my dorm bathroom, lmao. i had to have my roomate take a picture of me on the floor and text all my teachers what happened, which, thank god they were all really nice and laughed but...i feel like that tells you everything you need to know about me...people who think i'm their hero...i am a fucking idiot.

but!! BUUUUTTT! just for You, baby. i deep dived a lot of forums and read a lot about the flavor profiles and think...i made a pretty accurate assertion of what my kid's energy drink preferences are <3

me: paris hilton pipeline punch bc i am bad as hell ;)

stan the man with the plan: okay, so i think that pep stan is definitely that ultra paradise monster energy. it just seems really crisp, clean, earthy. stan also doesn't really care for sweets or sugar, so it makes sense to me that he would be drinking a zero sugar monster ( kyle is disgusted ) idk the kiwi, lime, cucumber flavor profile just feels like pep stan. please tell me you can see the vision, help.

kyle pile: hmmm...so what i've concluded with my research is that kyle pile probably likes that pacific pipeline monster that seems to taste like fruit punch <3 it has to be the full sugar ones because of his blood sugar and stan does kind of scold kyle for drinking them bc he's not really supposed to and he gets really cracked out ahdslkshd like he's really cute but stan is like oh my god bro you gotta lay down but yeah i think that one or the orange dreamsicle one, which is hilarious because the only foods stmwtp canonically does not like are pickles and artifical orange flavoring...he really loves kp.

raven: soooooo i know that i said pep stan was the mango loco monster energy, BUT RAVENSTAN IS LITERALLY THE MANGO LOCO MONSTER ENERGY LIKE HELLO??? also i feel like he is like those mexican dads that put a little tajin in whatever they're eating and act like they've invented fire heeeeeelp ravenstan is so the dad that cuts u up fruit into little shapes and pus tajin on them and feeds u them when ur sad <333 luv u raven ;-; <3 but yeah i feel like he full on turns it into a raspado its so unserious sometimes theres a shot in there, it's usually the spicy tamarind smirnoff vodka,

...what can i say my man is a visionary and i see it

jersey: oooookaaaaay. so...sigh. for Obvious Reasons, pre and during rm, because of kyle's ed, he only drinks the sugar free monsters. for energy because he's exhausted ( my baby </3 ) but i also do think he thinks they taste good. i think he fucks with that ultra watermelon flavor that just tastes like the most beautiful, delectable, mouth watering liquid watermelon candy ever. i also think he could rock with the strawberry or the peach one sounds dank.

if the watermelon one isn't there it does stress him out, but he has a mental list of what one is next on the tier list, and acts accordingly. its kind of a nice change of pace but...his brain does not think that. however, when kyle is healing, weirdly enough, i think he ACTUALLY LIKES???? those coffee flavored ones??? which is Insane and everyone including tweek points and laughs at him

i hope...that suffices? you're totally welcome to offer me what you think is the right answer: you're the monster expert, after all. but this is what i feel in my heart! i think it feels accurate but, lmk! :')

and also...speaking of my job. UUUUUUGH. thank you baby. :((( i am actually criminally depressed because my fucking HOE-WORKER fucking extended his vacation ONE MORE WEEK! so i have to cover all his shifts for an extra week while he's on vacation. so that means i don't get to watch my testing accommodation kids who i miss very much, i still don't get his kinder reccess shift and literally??? spring break is next week like he couldn't WAIT???? holy fuck i'm Sad. :(

but i will be fine darling. but it's actually why i wanted to see if you could send me another anon so i can use that anon to talk about trans stan journey stuff? i just don't want it to get lost in this post and also, i'm not in great spirits rn and don't want to answer it until i can write something that's not flaming garbage.

but happy late birthday baby, i'm so glad you were born. <333

-uncle nina, monster shot gun queen

p.s. what is your favorite monster energy? :)

#BB IF YOU CALL YOUR MESSAGE STUPID ONE MORE TIME #I AM GOING TO PUT YOU IN SO MANY BLANKETS AND FEED YOU SO MANY SNACKS AND BRAID UR HAIR #KNOCK IT AWHFF!!!!!! #you are so loved and this was no stupid at all and i actually had a lot of fun reading all about all the monster flavors #i'm sorry if its not totally accurate i did my best #i'm sorry the green one is so much more pep stan #and the mango loco one is actually raven #like thats just the right answer #ravenstan drinking the mango loco monster w the tajin rim...like he's kind of a genius oh my god #him turning them into a cursed mixed drink is foul tho i just know his head hurts after that #i cant believe i had jersey likes the coffee ones that is so foul #but him drinking the no sugar ones and drinking the candy flavored ones bc he is like 7 years old #theyre so cute lkahdkshd also kyle pile also likes the cherry blade lemonade bang energy that feels right to me #BUT YEAH I HOPE THIS MADE YOU SMILE #TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK HAHA #also sorry i didnt give you the Serious answer in that post but ravens trans journey is really important to me #and i really want to honor that and not rush it or write it when i am in a bad mood...ill make it worth it for you my love #but uuuugh no im in such a bad mood like im actually so frustrated like this is just not fair to me #me n the older kids are starting to kind of be alright but it kind of ebbs and flows like its better somedays and worse others #but they are stuck with just me for another week so were managing tbh my coworker was dad and im mom basically #im more like stepmom and they dont really like me bc ur not my real mom but like at least im nice lmao #but yeah happy birthday baby hope you enjoyed this and i will get you the answers you seek very soon mWAAAAH #also not me shotgunning 3 bang energies and throwing up and having to have my friends email my professors #when i tell you im not a role model i mean that i am a joke i make such bad decisions #live fast die young bad girls do it well

[tennis-kittens]

AO 2024 • Doubles • R1 • Miscellaneous

#many mixed feelings in the last 24hours so i kinda needed to make a post about it #First I would like to thank the A team for saving my birthday by both advancing to R2 #Andrea ended 2023 on two titles back to back and i'm so happy he carried that energy with him this season🥺 #And Andreas having a great start with JP. Really hoping they'll stick together #( but only up to the grass season. Because grass season is Andi and Demo season. Yes i make doubles tennis schedules now) #Now off to the bitter sweet stuff... #Demo and Marcus being back together for the first time since 2021... #...just to lose their first match on Demo's birthday after rain delays dragged the whole thing for almost five hours 💀 #Matty and Bopi advancing to R2... #...beating Johnny Mill in the process who played his last professionnal match before retiring from tennis #look at the way Matty looks at Johnny i'm sobbing 😭😭😭 #why do retiring players always have to lose against their bestie? #the tennis Gods have no mercy #Rafa and Luisa went from winning the AO last year to needing a wild card to make it to the main draw this year and exiting after R1 #rafa comforting Luisa was so soft i love them so much 🥺 #i just want the doubles kittens to be happy #is that too much to ask? #thank you for coming to my therapy session #doubles trouble collection

[alcorian]

i recognize the irony of punkposting while my icon is a fictional character who is literally a cop in some continuities and in others a tool of a fascist regime. im sorry. optimus prettyboy prime just looks nice in the corner of my screen

#some day i should be open about my intense mixed feelings about optimus prime #on one hand politically i despise him #personally if i were megatron i would also resort to murder #but like have i mentioned hes pretty and sad and god's chosen weapon #srsly i have so many thoughts about oppy from a character standpoint #but sometimes i think about what he fucking did to megatron and the decepticon movement and i wanna THROTTLE HIM #alv posts #transformers #punk #optimus prime

[krotiation]

IVE NEVER FELT THIS PERPLEXED OVER THE EUROVISION RESULTS BEFORE

#first of all holy shit that was intense #I HATE HOW THEY DRAG THE VOTES ON SO MUCH BUT I ALSO LIKE THE DRAMA OF IT #secondly i have so many mixed emotions about the results cause like #im a swede and eurovision really brings out my swedish loyalty #so like FUCK YEAH WE WON #LETS GO LOREEN WOOOOOOOOOOOOH #but also OH MY GOD FINLAND WAS SO ROBBED #LIKE ASTRONOMICALLY #its okay we all know that the jurys votes dont count and finland is the actual winner of this years eurovision #BUT MAN. MAAAAAAN #THEIR SONG WAS SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE #I WAS AVOIDING LISTENING TO IT SINCE TUESDAY CAUSE I WANTED IT TO FEEL FRESH TONIGHT #AND I GOT WITHDRAWLS I SWEAR TO GOD #now i can finally listen to it on repeat until next years eurovision #you know whats a real shame tho? #norway could have been 3rd if it wasnt for israel and italy which means we could have had a nordic top 3 #im also really surprised that serbia didnt get more votes from the public they were SO good #okay but whether youre disappointed that sweden won or not.... you gotta admit its a good thing it was loreen and no one else #and were so obsessed with måns zelmerlöw still so hes probably definitely gonna show up next year and you know it #ITS A GOOD DAY TO BE A NORDIC #CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA #seriously käärijä just screams finland what an icon #this is already so jumbled but i have to add one last thing #ONE MORE WIN AND SWEDEN BEATS IRELAND ON MOST EUROVISION WINS #LEEEEETS GOOOOOOOOO #delete later

[fauvester]

tcgf au... the xie lianification of nicholas biddle

#nick at mount tonglu with two later ghost kings who have had to look at his stupid face in statue during both of their promotions #lots of statues of him being killed violently. LOTS of statues of him being killed violently. #DW: no we the fuck did not recognize you from the statues. jackson carved them with his fucking fingernails. but he DID write your name. #HC: oh is that what he calls writing? i thought he was trying to eat the stone for sustenance. scraping it with his teeth #HC has known who NB was since he saw his stupid pretty face. oh Nicholas Biddle from the Statues! oh hoho this is FANTASTIC. mine now >:) #also woof seeing your beloathed god reduced to like. sleeping at the side of the road dirty... the mixed feelings of it all... #can hardly hate him for being a noble and then a god now that he looks like THIS #and hes so determined to be cheerful for it too. gods damn it #also jackson the fucking drama queen has so much beef with people and so many wounds.. #so many petty vengeances that his ghost body reminds him of them in case he forgets. just bleeds thru his boots #tcgf au

[gracefullou]

What sort of set list do you think we could get for festival louis? Do you think he'll change it up much? (other than shortening it I guess if he's not headling!) ♥️🖤

And what set list would you want for festival louis (If different to his current FITF set!)

Hi, anon! Your guess is as good as mine, Louis is unpredictable that way. I really loved the 2023 afhf setlist, it was perfect for a festival, the set was full of energy and i was hyped up the whole time! I doubt he'll have time to perform the full setlist though even when he's headlining (i've never been to a festival so i don't really know what the norm is in terms of the sets duration). I think from walls, kmm will be the only surviver 😂. And from fitf, i feel Louis already got rid of the slower songs on the album except for Saturdays (a crime in my opinion) so no chance we'll get ttwlg or common people or my beloved lucky again 😔. I think we can say goodbye to bigger than me in the festival era 😭 bc i don't think he'll play it. I feel like Waoyf is in danger too (he better not take it off the setlist though 🔪🔪) and so is Chicago and angels fly. Megamix is in danger as well but I feel Louis loves it too much to take it off the setlist and everyone deserves to hear all this time live at least once in their lives so don't you dare Louis. I think the greatest, face the music, ooms, Saturdays, silver tongues, holding onto heart ache and bty rock version are the ones that will for sure make it to the setlist and paradise, maybe. I'm really hoping that he'll surprise us all and add headline to the setlist permenantly. That would be the perfect setlist for festival season in my opinion especially if he adds defenceless and always you, maybe even otb to some of these shows 🥺 And i'll be even more delusional and manifest a new single and guitar Louis on stage 😁.

#i forgot about copy of a copy #this one i really don't know #he may drop it bc he already have many songs of the album to perform #but at the same time he seems to really love the song and is very comfortable performing it #so maybe he'll seek that comfort especially that he'll be singing for people who aren't necessary his fans #i have mixed feelings about covers as well #bc i don't want him to drop his own gorgeous songs for a cover #but that may help with an unfamiliar audience #as long as they are not 1D songs #i swear to god if he sings wdbhg 🔪🔪🔪 #but who am i kidding 😭 #he will sing at least 1 song by that dead band

[bravevolunteer]

1:30am. plagued by thoughts of michael and everything going on in his tiny 10-13 year old head :(

#like obviously. problems and issues then on and before SKDJFMG #but yeah while a lot of his behaviors as a young teenager are influenced by home life (ranging based on portrayals but i always make sure #it’s got similar roots and feelings) as well as social standing a LOTTTTT OF IT is very extremely tied to mental illness that did not get #acknowledgement or treatment.. that was the age his very intense depression started to come in Swinging along with increased anxiety/panic #and. neurodivergence is still a greyer area because it’s definitely there in the way i write him but how it mixes with ptsd #(plus the question of how much of that is just. Me LMAO) always has me ??? about making the call i’ve talked about this #BUT YOU GET THE POINT THERE’S A LOT!!! #he’s gutwrenchingly depressed and in pain and has been TAUGHT by observance and emotional neglect and [insert other aftonisms here] to Bury #that and is so convinced his emotions are a sign of weakness and That’s Why He’s Not Good Enough so he compensates however he can #and there’s no excuse for what it snowballs into but ohh my god JUST GET THAT BOY ON SSRIS #he didn’t even have the words for so much of it but there were so many aspects of himself that he was utterly convinced made him wrong #his actions become as drastic as they do because it’s EVERYTHING around him reinforcing the root problem #how am i supposed to sleep when im sick about him #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc

[bro-strider-tgirl-tits]

oh my god what the fuck is in my drafts

#there's only this and one other post #oh my fucking god this is actually. im gonna die #this is killing me i have so many mixed feelings #oct 4 2023 musta been wild

[tittyinfinity]

alright man my mom has every fuckin reason to be mad at me

#.bdo #i've been on seroquel for a while now #and I know it's not safe to mix it w alcohol but I've never had this experience #but it wasn't my alcohol so that wasn't cool. #but that isn't the issue. my mom never cries and she cried today #because she was so scared. she told me she was worried about me falling back asleep #my room is DESTROYED so I must have been blacked out for a bit last night #I am taking full responsibility that was fucking stupid of me and I feel horrible for making my mom so scared #thank god I woke up at like 3am bc if I tried to get that water while blacked out I could have killed myself and that's not a joke #BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT'S BEEN A WHOLE DAY AND I'M STILL DIZZY AND WANT TO SLEEP #I HAVE DRANK ON THESE MEDS MANY TIMES I JUST FALL ASLEEP

[yioh]

todays the kinda day where my dad made me call up the bank to talk abt mortgage interest rates and i ended up crying in the bathroom for like half an hr after LOL

#mix of fear of calls and realisation of imminent doom :’) #so many bills and shit and i’m So Aware of the fact that i have to be responsible for this shit but i don’t even know what’s going on at all #like i barelt have a proper job and everything’s so confusing and horrible and scary and i feel like a freaking kid #god #where did things go wrong <33333 #i feel so overwhelmed and far behind everyone else and ik everyone says life isn’t a race but like #are we sure abt that lol it sure feels like it is #every year my birthday feels like a ticking time bomb #i wish i was a capable and strong adult

[hua-fei-hua]

i hope i'm not just a mutual to you people, but also some guy who pays so much attention to fonts that you guys are forced to start paying attention to them too

#easy work week this week... thank god #i have 0 camp shifts n i have mixed feelings abt this bc i do like working w/the kids n stuff #but holy fucking god since i started working here every time we have camp i have so many camp shifts #and it's like. Fine in the fall and Fine in the winter but spring was a lil hectic w/the lab instructor w/the stick up his ass #and now this summer it's just like. i'm a little Tired lol i want to feel like i have the time to sit down n work on fics for a few days #in a ROW #花話