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thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild · 3 years

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25 more things I learned during a global pandemic from your Local Teenage Train wreck :) (Pt. 2)

1. Gaining weight is okay. Losing weight is okay. Bodies fluctuate and are inconsistent. Just make sure that you’re trying your best to be healthy, whatever that means for you.

2. School is hard, especially during a global. freaking. pandemic. Don’t beat yourself up if it’s harder to get up in the morning or your grades aren’t as high as they usually are. It’s hard right now.

3. You’re mental health comes above all. School, responsibilities, and personal projects are not worth your time if it’s affecting your mental health. If your gut is telling you to take a break, take a break!

4. If you feel lonely, get a plant to keep in your room. Do some research as to that plants do best with the type of lighting in your room, and figure out some basic care instructions. Have someone to take care of besides yourself. Name your plants, and take care of them.

5. Even if you’re not good at writing, I suggest you keep a journal during this time. It kept me sane over the summer, and even though I eventually stopped because of limited time with school starting back up, it helped to keep me sane in the worst of the pandemic.

6. If you’re spiritual (or even if you’re not) learn how to do shadow work. This isn’t anything that has to be spiritual or done in just one religion. It’s basically giving yourself a chance and a space to be open and honest with yourself and to learn what you might need to work on through writing. If you google it, you can find a more in depth explanation, and prompts to start doing it. You basically give yourself a prompt. They can be questions like “What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone else or yourself?” or they can be a little less heavy like “What are five non physical things that you genuinely like about yourself?”. This can be pretty heavy, and can dig up some unwanted emotions, but that’s the whole point; to deal with the emotions you may have been repressing and letting fester inside of you.

7. On days when you’re not feeling well mentally, take a break. It’s okay to drop everything and get an extra hour of sleep, read, or do something else to make yourself feel better.

8. After hard days, I know the last thing you want to do is get up and continue on, but here are some ways to do it:

- lay out an outfit that’s put together, but not as over the top. No sweat pants or crappy clothes, but it doesn’t have to be your usual put together outfits with a full face of makeup. A nice crewneck and a nice pair of black athletic leggings can go a long way.

-wear your comfort jewelry. I wear my beaded necklace that I bought for myself, the silver ring my grandma gave me and the gold cross ring that my mom gave to me when I got confirmed.

-eat breakfast. A handful of cereal will do. Anything. But eat something. I like to make oatmeal. It sounds boring but if you make it right, it tastes just perfect for mornings when you don’t feel hungry but know inside that you are. Recipe is next on the list :)

-go to school. I know you want to lay in bed. I know the last place you want to be is a crowded building full of pubescent teens that aren’t nice, but go. Go to learn. Go to absorb knowledge like a sponge, and don’t worry if you fail and lose some of the water, because you can always soak it up later.

-if you have practice, rehearsal, a game, whatever, be gentle on yourself. Today might not be your best day physically, because the brain controls everything. Forgive yourself if you can’t land that double pirouette, get to the high note, or make that assist. You’re abilities are stagnant, and they’re going to change depending on how you feel

-When you get home, turn off your phone. Friends, social media, etc. can wait. Set a timer for one hour. Do work for just that hour. When the timer rings, finish what you were doing and then stop. Now have a 20 minute break and do something that’s not screen related. Read a book, draw something; heck, stare at the wall for 20 minutes and space out. When the timer rings, do another hour and repeat the same process until it’s all done.

-have a playlist you listen to to heal you. Sad boi hours are ok, just make sure to have a playlist of songs that get you moving again.

-Sleep. Even if that means putting off work for tomorrow. It’s ok. You really need it.

9. Oatmeal seems gross until you know how to prepare it. When you do, it’s revolutionary. It’s a high volume, low calorie food, so you’ll stay full for a while without overeating, all while consuming less calories than you would with a traditional breakfast cereal.

The right way to make it:

-measure out half a cup of old fashioned oats. Not steel cut. Those aren’t as good.

-MOST IMPORTANT STEP: add half a cup of water and half a cup of milk of your choice. I personally like almond milk because it’s kind of sweet already even when it’s unsweetened.

-SECOND MOST IMPORTANT STEP: add a pinch of salt, a sprinkle of cinnamon, and allspice, and a teaspoon or two of maple syrup. This is what makes it taste palatable. It’s less sugar than store-bought, and tastes amazing.

-Microwave that shit for one minute and stir. It should look kind of lumpy, but not a ton. Then, put another minute on. Stir at every half increment. (After 30 seconds, every 15 seconds, and then every 7) This is so it doesn’t boil over. Then, take it out, stir it one last time, and let it sit for a second.

-Wash up some berries to put in it. I love blueberries and or blackberries.

perfect oatmeal every. single. time. Feel free to add more toppings like nuts or if you wanna treat yourself chocolate or substitute the spices, but this is honestly one of my favorite breakfasts that keeps me full throughout the day.

10. Learn a new language. Yes, Duolingo is annoying, but do it. Find one that you’ll like to learn and that’s easy for you. Try them on like old clothes and find one that fits just right. For me, it’s French. Expose yourself to that language. Listen to music, read books (or try to) and watch movies with subtitles. Soon enough, you’ll be eager to learn more.

11. Learn how to use notion.com. It’s super amazing. You can literally keep track of your entire life there. It’s pretty fun to use as well. I made schedules for each day after school, a reading log, a want to read list, a personal habit tracker, etc, and they’re all extremely helpful.

12. Make a list of things you weren’t allowed to do as a kid and do one every day. Heal your inner child by finally itching the spot that may not have been scratched for years.

13. Learn how to make origami stars. They’re really easy, and I can’t recommend Maqaroon’s (Joanna’s) video on how to make them enough. Once you’ve got it down, get yourself a nice big jar and write down things you’re grateful for on the slips of paper you’re going to fold. Fill up your gratitude jar and make a wish once it’s full. It will come true.

14. Have 30 minutes a day to put your phone down and read. Yes. You will have to sacrifice something to do this, but it’s so important and good for not only information retention and learning, but for mental health as well. Even if you have to get up half an hour earlier to do it, it’s worth it.

15. It’s okay to be alone, but learn to recognize the difference between alone and lonely. If you’re lonely, here are some things to do:

-write a letter to a friend. It’s something nice you can do for yourself and others, and it’s not feeding into the toxic instant reply culture that we live in

-read a book or watch a show that gets you to connect with the characters, even if that means (I've said it before and I’ll say it again) rereading a favorite ya series or binging atla for the fiftieth time. It’s good for the soul.

-take a walk and smile at the people you see coming past. Again, it’s good for the soul.

-go to the coffee shop and ask the barista to make you a drink that tastes like “_____” (insert whatever you want there. It could be a color, song, feeling, etc.) It’s weird and uncomfortable, but it gives you a conversation starter and 9.9 times out of 10 a really good drink. (Also helpful for when you think the barrista’s cute)

-Reading in general. It opens up so many new worlds with the turn of a page.

16. Monitor your food intake. No, don’t restrict your food intake, monitor it. This means first seeing exactly what your putting in your body and altering it to gradually improve to a clean diet. Humans weren’t built to process all the preservatives, additives and sugars found in most processed food (cereals, chips, anything in a foil bag that’s either really sweet or really salty) and it’s important to cut down and if possible eliminate as much as you can of it out of your diet. Food is fuel, and you truly are what you eat. You’ll notice that by increasing your vegetable intake, reducing white processed sugars and carbs*, and cutting out sodas/extra sugars, that you’ll feel better. This isn’t a weight loss thing, but you may start to trim down a little bit once you go more intense with it. You don’t have to eliminate anything fully, and please enjoy your favorite “bad” foods! Everything in moderation is perfect! Just make sure that you’re getting the good stuff in there too! *Side note, do NOT cut out carbs! See my post on how I’m losing weight to get more into depth on this.

17. Buy fresh flowers for yourself. Who says that you have to wait for someone else? That’s completely false, and you should totally treat yourself to a nice bouquet on occasion, especially in the dead of winter.

18. The whole idea of self love is flawed. Loving yourself has nothing to do with the way you look. Loving yourself comes with genuinely loving your life. If you don't love the way you’re living, change it. Make and set goals. Fail at achieving those goals. Get back up and try again until you finally get it, but make sure that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing to love the life you live. Life doesn’t live you. You live life.

19. Have candles and incense. (Or a diffuser if you’re not allowed to burn stuff) Making your environment smell good makes a huge difference

20. Once you turn 18, get a tattoo. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Pick something small and get it behind your ear, on your ankle, wrist, fingers, whatever. You’ll love having the memory when your old.

21. Realize your worth. We often put ourselves down because we think that valuing ourselves is equivalent to selfishness. It’s not. At all. You are just as important as everyone else. Your voice matters too.

22. Go to art museums

23. Go to free concerts in the park

24. Expose yourself to new art, ideas, and literature

25. Life is gonna suck sometimes. It’s just how it is. That doesn’t mean a bad day’s gonna last forever. As cheesy as it is, keep your head up :)

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justoneday-namjoonii · 5 years

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Midnight Circus pt.7

☾pairing: Jungkook(?)♡→ reader ☾genre: Angst. Fluff. Mature content. bad boy summer fling au ☾summary: “You’re ten times hotter this summer, you know that?” ☾Series status statement: “She is?” a/n: This is a lil shorter than most chapters and I just want to say I’ve enjoyed going on this story’s journey with you all, it’s been an emo time and I love it^^

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | coming soon

Lying on a yellow blanket in the park, pretty hands combing through his hair like a lullaby. A sweet scent of flowers and churro vendors engulfed his nostrils, reminding him of the confectionaries served at the county fair.

That’s what he so desperately wanted to make his reality, but instead, he stood in the back alley of the vinyl record and music shop, smelling old sweets from the bakery next door. The wind tousled with his hair and the brisk air threatened to nip at the tip of his nose. He was texting a friend but on his way to the sweet escape of his car. When he finally took a seat in the vehicle, he set his phone down and turned on some soft music.

Lately, music has consumed the majority of his time. That, school, and his new job. The bowling alley was nice and all but he decided he should venture into different things in this season of his life. He’s been drawing a lot, thinking, singing, little things that make him feel a tinge of happiness inside—that’s what the counselor said to do anyway. He’s been seeing a counselor secretly, Namjoon suggested it because of the divorce and emotional problems he’s been dealing with. He was reluctant at first, he didn’t feel the need to go to someone with his baggage, but after that episode with you, he felt like he should try it out. And it helped him deal with himself. More importantly, it helped him deal with losing you. He never had you, it was hard for him to say that out loud, but it’s true.

What you two had was so wrong, in the beginning, it was wrong. That’s what you said, you said you regretted it and if you had the chance to do it again, you’d say no in a heartbeat. He went home to try and forget about it, about you. But oh how very difficult that turned out to be. He wants to know how you are and how your life has been. Somewhere deep down inside of him, he felt like he should be forgiven. He’s demonstrated that a mistake isn’t all he is—he screws up sometimes, but he’s only human.

His phone buzzed and he quickly picked it up.

“Hey,” It was Namjoon on the line, “what’s up?”

By the wind in the background, he was in the park, walking his dog probably.

“Would you happen to have any acrylic painting paper?”

“Uh, yeah, I should have a few sheets at my place.” That was an odd request. “I can bring them to you or-”

“No!” He sounded almost alarmed. “I’ll come over and get it this evening.”

“Okay,” Jungkook furrowed his brows in suspicion but went with it anyway. “I’ll see you later then.”

Namjoon sighed, slipping his phone into his pocket as he sat back in the park bench.

“I got them! They only had two left too.” You smile, skipping over to him with two sweet soft pretzels in your hands. “I don’t know how I got them.”

“Because you’re a lucky girl.” He smiles, dimples deep and pretty as always when he reaches out for one of the treats.

“Yeah, that’s true, I am pretty lucky.” You beam, sitting beside him and tearing a piece of your pretzel to give to the cute ball of fluff sitting next to his feet. “Here puppy, have some yummy pretzel-”

“Sweets aren’t good for dogs,” He looks at you, giggling when you give it to RM anyway, “you’re gonna spoil him.”

“Like you don’t spoil him already,” You roll your eyes, “he practically thinks you’re his maid.” RM reaches up to like your hand and you return his affection with a well-deserved ear rub. You coo to that little bundle of cuteness. “You love me, don’t you puppy?”

“Yes, he does.” Namjoon suddenly turns your jaw, the sweetest grin on his face when you tilt your head to him. He leans in and kisses you, a peck on the check that made your heart flutter.

He smiles at your rosy cheeks, that color had to be the prettiest thing in the world to him. “We both do.”

He helps you reach the stars.

Flashback

The prison they call school is now back in session. The break was nice, you spent a lot of time with family and you even went out with your close friends a few times. On New Year's day, you actually went to a party. There were actually quite a few people you’ve never seen before, but one person, in particular, was there—Jungkook.

The entire night, you did everything in your power to avoid him, but it was inevitable when you were re-introduced to each other by a mutual friend who was unaware of your pre-existing relationship.

“Jungkook,” He shuffled him over to where you were, safely in the corner with a bowl of trail mix, “have you met Y/n? She’s a friend from school, we go way back.”

You were stunned and quickly tried to chew and swallow the pretzel in your mouth. Sitting the trail mix down, you stand up, mouth opening to say something but nothing comes out, your friend probably thinks your just flustered but that’s not the case.

“We, um, we know each other actually,” Jungkook clears his throat, speaking to lessen the awkward silence. “we’ve gone to the same school since preschool.” He glances at you.

“Y-yeah.” You nod in agreeance.

“Really? Wow, small world.” He laughs, “Well I’ll leave you two to catch up then.”

He leaves you and Jungkook, still completely unaware of the tension in the air.

Jungkook stands in front of you, eyes hesitant to scan you but he did so anyway. “I haven’t seen you in a while,” He moves to sit on the couch, next to where you were sitting, “how are you?”

“I’m fine, thanks.” You don’t look at him when you say that, you know better than anyone that he rather forget the meeting you had ever happened, that’s why he’s trying not to sound awkward. It’s hard for you to sit here, just to be near him is difficult to stomach. He looks different from the last time you saw him, almost brighter as if he’s decided to hydrate himself with water instead of cola.

It’s just silence after that, a silence that brings the thought of what he’s been doing lately to your mind. Honestly, this is the longest you’ve gone without speaking to him, it’s been a few months. Fall had passed, winter came and school started again.

After what happened during the summer, there was no way you were gonna come out of that the same, there were too many changes. For one, surprisingly, Jimin still contacts you when he gets the chance and you don’t know how to feel about it. Jen often reminds you of the good things Jungkook has done to keep you from completely ripping him in your frequent conversations about him. And then there’s Namjoon—he seems too good to be true, doesn’t he? He listens to you, he wants to help you get over what you went through, and he defends you at all costs. He’s still a confidant to Jungkook and they talk but he never tells you what they talk about.

One day, he told you that he hadn’t told Jungkook about you two going out after that New Year’s party. He was the first person you kissed to begin the year, it was as magical as they make it look in Manhattan, maybe even more so. That night, you promised yourself that you’d never settle. You’d never open your heart to someone who justs wants to play with it.

Because let’s be real, Jungkook likes to play, he always has. If it means he can get a little rush or a good feeling out of it, he’ll do it. In this case, he recognized that he felt an attraction towards you and acted on it instantly, and you being the person to Jungkook that you are, you let him.

Just this is just as much of his fault as it is yours. His habit of playing with females was gonna bite him in the butt and it did—he caught feelings. Hilarious. The Casanova, the man with not a single soul tying him down, decided to catch feelings. And not with just anyone, with you of all people, his once mortal enemy. Now he’s really in trouble because you didn’t return those feelings the way he thought you would. So he acted out, tried to take you by force, tried just about anything to get you, but it only pushed you further away. Now you’re living your own life. You’re not letting your past with him dictate your life, he can see that clearly.

“Are you here alone?” He asks, his words somewhat muffled by the pin the tail on the donkey game in the background.

“No, I’m here with Jen.” You take a bite of your trail mix. “You?”

“Tae’s here somewhere.” You nod at that. ”Namjoon too.”

You brighten up at the mention. “Namjoon is here?” You look around for him. “I haven’t seen him...”

“Yeah, he’s somewhere.” After a moment of silence, you get up to go look for him and Jungkook’s heart breaks out in a thousand hairline fractures and he merely watches you for the rest of the night. You were able to track down Namjoon, and when you did, you two started to drink a little. Your outfit is flattering, distracting even. Distracting, that seemed to be the only word that came to his mind. He played beer pong, croquet, table tennis, but he kept looking for you, looking to see if you’de be looking at him...

Namjoon pulled you away and it was beautiful. The two of you talked and laughed about everything, he is even more hilarious at night. You two weren’t drunk but your red faces would beg to differ.

Within the hour, everyone huddles around the TV for the countdown. When the clock strikes twelve you all scream happy new year. Jungkook watches from the sidelines and when he sees you jumping around looking—genuiniely happy—something in him becomes uneasy and he goes outside on the porch to get some fresh air. Just as he does that, Namjoon cups your face with the softest smile and kisses you.

After that night, Jungkook doesn’t see you again and it tries not to let it tear him apart.

- Flashback End -

You lay sprawled out on your bed, a Greek history book in your hand, and your eyes slowly falling victim to sleep. The plan was to go study with Namjoon but you ended up on a little date at the park—you didn’t mind that though. Just as your eyes were about to close, you hear your phone buzz and you quickly bring it to your ear.

“Hello?” You frown a little bit, sleepiness wearing off almost immediately when you realize that it was a freaking text message, not a phone call. “Hugh...” You bring the phone down to look to see who it’s from and you do a double-take—Jungkook. You distinctly remember telling him to lose your number...

Jungkook [11:23]: i think. i need need u to cakll me

You’re taken aback, completely confused as to why he would be texting you some gibberish like this at this time of night. For a moment, you wait to see if he’s gonna text you back but the typing bubble disappears and you’re getting a phone call from him.

“Oh God no, no.” You stare at your phone, just waiting for it to stop ringing. “Not tonight, we’re not doing this tonight.” You’re saying that more to yourself than anything. After ignoring the call, he calls again and you ignore it, then he calls again, and again, and again, and you cave in. You pick up the phone and hold to your ear.

“What do you want Jungkook? Why do you keep calling me? Do you know what time it is?” You don’t shout, but you do speak with a blunt delivery.

“I need you...I miss, miss you- h-how are you by the way?...” His words are slurred, making him sound odd. “Y/n...” He draws your name out with a tug in his voice—he’s drunk, that is the only reasonable explanation for this.

“Jungkook,” You sigh, “are you drunk?”

“No, I’m not d- drunk,” He chokes, “I-” He sounds like he’s drinking something at that very minute, “I’m sorry, I’m- so, so- I’m stupid, I’m so stupid, but I need you, I need you bad...Please, please tell me you want me, please...” Now it sounds like he’s crying and you panic, you need to get off this phone.

“Stop that, you need to get off of this phone, I’m gonna hang up, okay? I need to go to bed.”

“I’m coming over your house,” He pants into the phone for a moment, “I’ll come and do whatever you, whatever you want...please, please...I-...I love you...”

You bite your lip, your heart aching at the drunken rambling. “Jungkook, you drank too much, you need to go to sleep and sober up...”

“Only i- if you tell me you love me, I need you,” He sounds like he’s crying again, “I want you to love me, I know I’m an idiot but I can’t take this, I can’t take it...”

“You don’t love me Jungkook.” You shake your head when you hear him let out a small sob. “We don’t love each other and it’s okay. It’s for the better. Now, I’m gonna hang up, alright?” He doesn’t say anything but you can hear his attempts to steady his breathing. “...Okay, goodnight.”

Long gone is your voice, all he hears is a dial tone taunting him. He tips up a bottle of soju and blinks back some tears. He’s at Yoongi’s place, again. His plan was to go home but he couldn’t resist drinks with Yoongi and Hoseok. But Yoongi was in the shower and Hoseok ran out to get something from the store.

”Jungkook,” Yoongi steps out of the bathroom, eyes scrutinizing a disheveled Jungkook, “what’s the matter?”

Jungkook sniffles, eyes and nose tinted a rosy pink. “She hates me...She fucking hates me.”

“Who?” Just as Yoongi asks that Hoseok walks in, plastic bags in hand.

“Y/n...” Jungkook said your name as if it was painful.

“Oh my God Kook,” Yoongi sighs, “did you call her?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” Hoseok joined the conversation.

“I wanted to talk to her.” He sighs, mind still not processing the problematic appearance of it all.

“At this time of night? Why would you think it was okay to call her Jungkook? And what did she say?”

“She said doesn’t love me.”

“You told her that you love her?... “ Jungkook nodded, “Do you love her?”

“I don’t know, I think so- I know I care about her, y’know? Like, I care about what happens to her...”

“She’s been going out with Namjoon for the past few weeks, you know that right?”

“She has?” Jungkook’s eyes were glossy and he looked like someone had just taken a dagger to his heart.

“Well, I saw them out a the movies one night and the other day he said they were going for a run together. If that’s not going out, I guess they’re just really close friends.”

“Jungkook, this might be for the better,” Yoongi interjects. “You two were never together in the first place, so why are you so heartbroken about this?”

That was just it, you two were never together in the first place. There is no logical reason as to why he’s behaving as if that were the case, it’s not. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s trying to get over it, and it’s just taking a while. “I’m not, I’m just trying to stop thinking about her like we had something, I thought we had something, I don’t know why.”

“You need to sleep it off Jungkook, your life doesn’t depend on Y/n.” Hoseok pats his shoulder and heads off to the guest bedroom to get some sleep himself. And Jungkook, after an hour or so of trying to find something on tv, he fell asleep and the world pitied him

You put on your nice top and best jeans because your mom said she had some friends coming over for Sunday dinner. You, of course, weren’t going to stay for the whole thing, due to your social anxiety around friends that aren’t really your own. So, you said you’d stay for a little while, then go out.

“Y/n! You’ve turned out to be such a beautiful young lady.” Mrs. Belle, she’s a long time family friend and she says that every time she sees you.

“Thank you, Mrs. Belle.” She’s sitting next to you at the dinner table as you eat the last few bites of your beans and rice.

“And you’re taking college courses now, right?”

“Yes, I’m just getting my A.A right now, I’ll figure out the rest of my plans when the time comes.” You smile, making sure you cut off any opportunities to talk about your major.

Shen went on about how great that was and how she hopes I can meet up with her son soon and help him out. You said you’d be more than willing to but the fact of the matter is, her son is more of the free-spirit time. In fact, you know Brian well and you know he rather play sports and find vegan burgers rather than talk about college.

Soon, you’re able to break away from the table and tell your mother you’ll be back soon. Jen texted you early this week, saying she was going on a picnic and a movie screening with Naeun, Nayeon, some other girls and guys. She also said Namjoon would be there. You wondered why he didn’t tell you himself, but you pushed that thought aside and ran upstairs to slip into a cute little sundress. You ran downstairs, bid farewell to your family and hoped in your car. She sent you the location and you put it in your GPS. The drive wasn’t too long, maybe 30 to 40 minutes, give or take a few minutes. When you pulled into the parking lot for the hilly park, you suddenly got a little nervous. Sure, these are your friends and all, but still, they make you nervous sometimes.

With courage, you get out of your car and bring your little cooler of fruit with you. There are quite a few couples having romantic little picnics, and families as well, your heart swells at the sight. You’re guilty of being a bit of a hopeless romantic and you think it probably shows. Because in reality, you don’t know if you’ve ever had a real boyfriend. You’ve gone on dates but never committed, it’s not a bad thing though, it’s just how it is.

“Y/n! Over here!” Jen waves you over and you see everyone else wave as well. There were about five blankets around, all with people you know and you greeted all of them.

“Hey,” You take a seat next to Jen and Jin—apparently they’re a thing now—you smile, “how are you guys?”

“Good, you?” Jin responds.

“Great.” You look around, hoping to see Namjoon heading your way but he’s no where to be seen. And in just the nick of time, you get a phone call from him

“Hello?”

“Hey, Jen told me she told you about the picnic, I’m sorry I can’t make it.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” You try not to sound too disappointed. “I’m good.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in class on Tuesday, alright?”

“Alright.” You say goodbye and you settle into a comfortable sitting position as you think of how you wished Namjoon was here, he made you feel really comfortable.

“I’ve missed you bestie.” Suddenly, Jen wraps her arms around you, so tight that you feel like she was probably doing it on purpose.

“How? I see you all the time Jen.” You giggle, unpacking your fruit and setting it out for whoever wants it.

“I know but you’ve been busier these days, which isn’t a bad thing, but we don’t get as much time anymore.” She lets you go and leans back on her hands. “We’ll have to do another trip soon.”

Never.

“I don’t know if I could do another summer like that Jen, maybe with just us girls.” Your tone is a bit bitter and she catches on immediately

“You mean?-”

“You know what I mean.” You look up at the screen the people are setting up. “I can’t do that again.”

“Y/n,” She frowns, knowing you were just at the point of ripping Jungkook apart, “you and Jungkook settled your differences, right?”

“I mean yeah, but-” You pause and look her in the eyes. “He called me last night, but he was drunk.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, he was rambling about how he needed me and asking me to love him, I couldn’t believe it.”

“That’s crazy...He must-” She cuts off what she was about to say and you narrow your brow.

“He must what?”

“Nothing!”

“You said that too quick, say what you were going to say. He must what?”

She’s hesitant to say something, but she caves under your scrutinizing glint. “He must just, miss you.”

You scoff. “No, he doesn’t know what he wants Jen...I honestly think he’s confused and I just hope he can get through it.” You two sort of end the conversation on that, but you don’t stop thinking about it. You never thought Jungkook could really, genuinely miss you, it didn’t sound right in your head. But it could happen, he could somehow feel like there’s a void in his life and it’s because of you. Jungkook did a lot of crap to you that just wasn’t right, but you gave in every time when you could have easily said no, and he used that against you.

But it’s okay now.

You’ve healed and now it’s Jungkook’s turn to do the same.

But no matter where you go, or what you do, Jungkook will be not too far behind. After the movie had started, you saw him arrive with Yoongi and Hoseok, your heart dropped at the sight of him. Every time you see him unexpectedly, you feel yourself panic a little bit. It’s obvious that he hasn’t yet seen you, and you want to keep it that way.

Little did you know, he sees you but he does his best not to make that known, he doesn’t want to suffer any more awkward meetings. He settles at a spot on one of the huge blankets and tries to watch the movie. You, on the other hand, you’re scared that he might see you and get embarrassed about what happened last night. Wouldn’t that bruise his ego to know you heard him like that? You thought so.

The night goes on, people end up talking during the movie and Jen asks if anyone will go get some paper plates from the little shop over the hill. You volunteer and scurry off to get the plates.

When you arrive at the little vendor, you have to get in a short line—that’s not too bad. Well, not until you realize who’s standing in front of you.

Jungkook.

And to make matters worse, he glances back at you and you can practically see the blood leave his face.

“Hey.” You’re the first to say something, in hopes that the silence and staring is put to an end.

“H-hey, we seem to keep meeting...” He breathes, referring to the many times you two arrived at the same function by sheer coincidence.

“Yeah....”

He clears his throat. “So, how have you been? I know we haven’t talked since New Year’s”

No, you two have definitely talked since then.

“Um, pretty good, how about you?”

“I’ve been fine, can’t really complain I guess.” He turns from you so he can purchase some bottles of water from the cashier. Now it’s your turn.

“Five plates please.” You smile and the man promptly takes your money and gives you the plates in exchange. When you look up, Jungkook is standing there, just looking at you.

“What’re you doing?”

“I’ll walk back with you, if you’re okay with that,” He rushes to make sure this is something you don’t mind. “It’s dark out.” He has a fair point. Instead of saying something, you begin to walk back and he walks beside you, eyes stealing small glances at your dress. You look really pretty tonight, he can’t deny that. But he wills himself to look at his feet, or at anything else, he can’t afford to have you catch him staring.

You’re feeling so, so awkward. Does he not realize that he called you last night? You were starting to think he was completely unaware of it because he didn’t look uneasy, ashamed, nothing, he acted like the last time you two talked was on New Year’s Day. You two go your separate ways to your own blankets and your mind is spinning with one conclusion.

He doesn’t know he called you.

#bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts imagine #jungkook #jungkook angst #Jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #Midnight Circus #midnight circus is back #this is what you've all been waiting for #it is finished #this is my most popular fic #i was so shook when i looked back and saw 800+ notes #❤️thank u so much❤️

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acekatherineplumber · 3 years

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1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal than milk. Otherwise it gets soggy. I don’t really eat cereal anymore though now that I don’t consume dairy.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? No. I That’s why I love masks

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Mostly receipts

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea is black unless it’s mint tea and then it needs sugar, or if I’m sick, and then I put honey in my tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Somewhat. My wisdom teeth pushed my bottom teeth all out of line.

6: do you keep plants? No. I kill them all

7: do you name your plants? I would if I kept plants

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I like to draw

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Stomach or side

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Our bratty cats

12: what’s your favorite planet? Venus is pretty cool. Neptune too!

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Going to the bookstore

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Lots of teaching supplies and cats everywhere

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Mercury is shrinking!

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? I don’t have a particular favorite, I just like pasta with pesto

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I don’t want to dye my hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. The time I got my suitcase full of books pulled because on the scanners it looked like cocaine

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I don’t

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Blue

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don’t get attached to bags

22: are you a morning person? NO

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Bookstore and French equivalent of Target’

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? My best friends

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I’ve been in a mall after hours but I didn’t break in

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I wear the same type of black boots but I’m constantly replacing them.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Mint

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Obsessing over their cats

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Of course

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love weird and fun socks. I wear socks to bed in winter but not any other time

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I don’t think we’ve ever done anything at 3am

33: what’s your fave pastry? a Paris Brest. They’re gr9

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I have a hedgehog named Hedgie. He’s next to me right now!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I do, but I don’t really have much. I’m currently in a place that I’m going to have to leave and move back across the ocean in a few months. I can’t acquire too much stuff

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? I’m not hugely into bands

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean. I get stressed if it isn’t clean

38: tell us about your pet peeves! Having to do dishes, not having my own space, and having to wake up early

39: what color do you wear the most? Blue

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a gold bracelet from a play I was in where I played Albert Einstein’s girlfriend

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? I’ve read so many good things lately, but my last 5 star read was A Winter’s Promise by Christelle Dabos

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Not particularly.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I don’t remember

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Yesterday while reading in the garden

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? I do. They’re usually correct

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Need an ark? I Noah guy.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Cottage cheese. It’s gross.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Spiders. I’m still afraid of spiders, but I’m more afraid of stairs

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? It’s been a while

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Copies of Les Mis

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I associate the Sailor Moon theme song with my friend Tina

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? I haven’t been paying attention to mainstream memes so far. I am however in a meme group for my job and it’s hilarious.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Everything but Beetlejuice, and I didn’t really like any of them. The Heathers musical is great though

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? One of my colleagues who was having a bad morning

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? Made myself sick on purpose

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Not being at all shyabout their interests

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It makes me want to scream along and reenact the lyrics

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I’m the wine mom, given that I’m the oldest and the mom of the group. Vodka aunt would be a mix of my friends Tina and Carolyn

59: what’s your favorite myth? Achilles and Patroclus or anything having to do with Circe

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Sometimes. I like exotic things like passionfruit and mango juice

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I have too many books to keep them super organized. They’re double-stacked on my shelves

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Dark blue

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Allmy friends. With covid and being on another continent, it’s a little hard

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Itises and sunflowers

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? I like to spend them inside with tea, books, and candles

68: what’s winter like where you live? Mostly rainy. It doesn’t snow a lot in Normandy

69: what are your favorite board games? There’s a game that my mom and I like to play where you go on a road trip across the U.S.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Yes, before I knew not to mess with those things

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? I love so many kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?73: what are some of your worst habits? Being too hard on myself and peeling off my fingernails in strips

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. My friend have brown curly hair, glasses, and is amazing at piano and at alays knowing what to say

75: tell us about your pets! I have three cats, all girls. One is a torbie (bratty), the second is a dilute calico (stupid), and the last one is black (evil).

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Lesson-planning for work. I’ll do it tomorrow.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? I don’t really care. I like raspberry lemonade though

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I don’t hate them, but I won’tgo see the minion movies themselves. Despicable Me was great, and the second one was okay, but everything should have stopped after that.

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Watched Les Mis with me in a language they didn’t understand

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?They’re green and blue and were that way when I moved in.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Think a vat of Hershey’s chocolate swirling around and around and going into a hole in the center, a hole that seems empty but there is something there, something sparkling

82: are/were you good in school? I was an excellent student. I graduated college summa cum laude

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? I don’t really pay attention to album art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have two and I’m thing about more, but I’m not sure what I want

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Not really

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? I’m not really into them

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? The Princess Bride, Tangled, Legally Blonde, and Hunchback of Notre Dame

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Impressionism

89: are you close to your parents? Our relationship is lukewarm

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Currently, pandemic-ridden

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’m planning to go home in May when my visa expires

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? I don’t eat cheese by itself, but I drown my pasta in pesto

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Low bun

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My best friend’s sister

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Lesson-planning and going to the bookstore

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I hate updating my computer

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFJ, Leo, Ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I don’t remember. I enjoy walks, but I’m not really into hiking

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. It depends on my mood

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the past, pre-pandemic

#story of my life

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