#hahahaha ADULTHOOD IS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAHA FUCK

[kai-atlantis]

I DID AN ADULT THING AND BOUGHT A SUV I CAN'T AFFORD HAHAHAHAHAHHA IT'S $525 A MONTH HAHAHA AND I HAVE NO INCOME HAHAHA AND SOMEHOW I GOT APPROVED AND NOW I HAVE A SHINY NEW TOP TRIM SUV FOR $525 HAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE

#tldr #dont make decisions on benzo medications #😬 #now i cant back out #im stuck #i have to sell my soul and puddy and feet pics now #how actually #i literally cant afford anything #what the fuck #why was i approved #wHY DID I AGREE #hahahaha ADULTHOOD IS SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAHA FUCK #FUCK #cars #vent #psychotic post

[carnivalsoration]

Cronus Gets Tortured, and then Learns Some Stuff about Boundaries and Identity

I’m going to start all this off with an ooc description of things, because this gets pretty intense in bits. A tldr with added trigger warning, if you will. 

Ringleader messages Cronus about being an insensitive prick regarding the ‘gutterblood rights’ post, then the conversation moves on to lusus death (a la, what was going on with Meulin at the time, though she’s not mentioned directly at all), how wasteful Alternia is, and then on to torture. During that talk, there’s a lot of mentions of parent/animal death, then referring to people as objects that can be disposed of, in an abstract sense, and then obviously, Harming and Killing people, for Fun and Dubious Amounts of Profit. 

Ringleader convinces Cronus it would be no big deal to torture him for a bit, and doesn’t take no for an answer. (Manipulation, coercing, lack of respect for boundaries.) And then they meet up! Cronus is waterboarded, Ringleader is way lighter about it than he really should be, primarily in the confession he forces Cronus to make, and then they make out! Weird, but these two are who they are.

Cronus presses more, hoping for sex to happen. Ringleader says no. Cronus says ‘but whyyyy’ and Ringleader gets pissed about it. A conversation about consent and rape occurs, that leads into highblood standards, respect, and who Cronus wants to be and what he values. 

This is a Very dense log, y'all, with a lotta intense stuff. Two kinda shitty people meeting, and one of them trying to make the other Less shitty, with some admittedly poor judgement. Overall, a Dubiously happy, or at least thought provoking, ending.

Anyway! If that sounds like you would enjoy reading it, read on! If not, you now know a general plot synopsis and can avoid reading it while still knowing all relevant details! If the chat log appeals to you but the roleplay itself doesn’t, you can read that too! 

carnivalsoration honk

vwarlordvwanderlust hey there, babe!

carnivalsoration :o)

vwarlordvwanderlust vwhat's up?

carnivalsoration i will make out with you if you promise not to reblog that gutterblood pride post again.

vwarlordvwanderlust see, THIS is a bold and innovwativwe method more people should try.

carnivalsoration hahahahaha is that a yes

vwarlordvwanderlust you also could'vwe just asked. but too late, no take backs. hell yeah.

carnivalsoration hahahahahahahaha

vwarlordvwanderlust (also that's a joke. there are take backs. it's all just jokes. )

carnivalsoration good boy, thats a good ad on

vwarlordvwanderlust haha. i do my best.

carnivalsoration :o) i could explain why i don't want you to say it, if ya wanna hear it or you could guess, since i'm kinda curious

vwarlordvwanderlust i just figured it vwas annoying. you specified that particular post, and not the vword, is it the vword.

carnivalsoration it's the word and the implication it's. it's just the whole thing, brother the whole damn thing

vwarlordvwanderlust yeah? vwhat implication?

carnivalsoration for you this is an inconvenience for a bit. for other people, this is their life. you don't earn the right ta use that word by your glorified lowblood tourism

vwarlordvwanderlust huh.

> So he's not *that* Alternian. 🤔

carnivalsoration > Ooo motherfucker.

do ya get what i mean? you can't have pride about somethin that you're not even really a part of.

vwarlordvwanderlust it vwas a joke. but yeah for sure, OBVWIOUSLY.

carnivalsoration and what about it is funny? like, can you just explain it to me?

vwarlordvwanderlust it's okay to not get jokes.

carnivalsoration no, i wanna get it.

vwarlordvwanderlust it's just a dumb lowvblood thing people say, you knowv, that i'm saying, because i'm kinda a lowvblood, for nowv.

carnivalsoration huh. and that's... funny?

vwarlordvwanderlust > This is the worst thing that's ever happened.

i mean. it's just one of those things.

carnivalsoration aight.

vwarlordvwanderlust look they can't all be vwinners!!!!!!!!

carnivalsoration you reblogged it though, you thought it was pretty good

vwarlordvwanderlust vwe all havwe different tastes. anyvways.

carnivalsoration yeah. what would you do if ya lusus died?

vwarlordvwanderlust > Weird foreplay but okay. > Clowns.

be sad.

did you vwant a longer ansvwer, or did you just leavwe.

carnivalsoration oh, oops. i got distracted. but like. how much would it change your life

vwarlordvwanderlust a lot. but i mean. i'll need to leavwe him anyvways.

carnivalsoration fun fact. i killed my lusus

vwarlordvwanderlust oh. vwhy?

carnivalsoration cuz that was the tradition at the time. indigos wouldn't get orphaned before adulthood on the condition that when they became a subjug, they'd kill their lusus themselves. and so that's what happened. i hella slaughtered him. it was a mess hahaha

vwarlordvwanderlust haha. yeah.

carnivalsoration i'm just talkin at this point

vwarlordvwanderlust vwhy? i mean don't get me vwrong. i lovwe our talks.

carnivalsoration i just ponder things sometimes. i'm old, i got a lotta memories to peruse what's your alternia like?

vwarlordvwanderlust big question, chief. dunno howv to ansvwer that.

carnivalsoration how often do people murder their lusus

vwarlordvwanderlust i don't knowv. probably not a ton. seems like a vwaste.

carnivalsoration hahaha remember what i said the other night? alternia likes nothin quite so much as waste

vwarlordvwanderlust alternia is cutthroat and efficient. may not alvways be pretty, but hey. it gets the job done.

carnivalsoration hahahaha. wrong. healthcare that involves replacing limbs instead of mending. killin people for any old thing and raisin all new people, like i said. you coulda imprisoned them and got free labor. killin reproductive failures. because you can still make THEM work. that ain't efficiency.

vwarlordvwanderlust that's efficient! you don't need to deal vwith upkeep if you toss a thing in the garbage vwhen it breaks, same vwith people. mm.

carnivalsoration efficiency is using a tool as long as it's useful. killin other planets rather than enslaving them. using lowbloods as fodder in just the stupidest ways. you could have them maneuver big heavy things or control animals at the front line or whatever. also. mechanical limbs cost a lot in upkeep too, just as a bonus destroying rather than fixing is just a thing. it's all brute force casual sadism, gloating over enemies rather than just offin em. imagine all the hot babes that were offed cuz they broke an ankle. or cuz they were kinda stupid once or they puked killin somethin the first time, which is another way alternia wastes life. beaurocracy is a HUGE waste of time plus it makes ya wanna beat your brains out with the stack of paperwork ya have to do land and sea trolls in competition, which wastes highblood life on dumbass feuds underfeedin slaves and workin them to death way before their natural lifespan. food ain't that expensive

vwarlordvwanderlust evwery system has SOME flawvs.

carnivalsoration yeah, but alternia's is that it just loves waste it fuckin can't get enough of it fuck, i tortured and killed thousands of people when i coulda tortured them and then put them to work .... probably hundreds of thousands.... i wonder if i broke a million

vwarlordvwanderlust vwell. i assumed that vwas, you knowv. pleasure, not business. but vwe all havwe flavws.

carnivalsoration oh, it's both. the fact i did it for fun doesn't change the fact i was definitely expected to do it

vwarlordvwanderlust vwell the system gets stuff done.

carnivalsoration oh, the number of troll screams i heard... the number of crimes confessed.... so many confessed to crimes that we found out they didn't even commit! just to make the agony stop

vwarlordvwanderlust the probability of false confessions is actually ovwerplayed by certain rebellious type groups, it's still mostly good intel.

> You should know, you consume imperial propaganda religiously!

carnivalsoration .... i .......... i tortured them myself all the time three a night, at least for centuries there is a LOT of false confessions a LOT of time wasted researching the falsities

vwarlordvwanderlust is it most of them?

carnivalsoration oh yeah. like 70% of the info you get from any one person is likely to be false. sometimes more, sometimes less, and about 90% of the time, the truths they do tell aren't worth your time to even pursue

vwarlordvwanderlust so vwe need to be more selectivwe in vwho vwe torture and vwhat vwe ask.

> Bold of you to say we, there.

carnivalsoration i'm kinda curious where you got the info about how false confessions are overplayed OH SHIT. I SHOULD HELP YOU GET USED TO TORTURE SOUNDS

vwarlordvwanderlust okay the tone of those tvwo messages is vwildly different.

carnivalsoration i just get excited sometimes

vwarlordvwanderlust it's pretty common knowvledge used to counter rebel propaganda. the real number is like 1%. ...here, i mean. i'm not accusing you of lying. hey, maybe our timelines are different.

carnivalsoration hey, if you're so sure, i bet i could do non-destructive torture on you and get you to confess to something that isn't true.

vwarlordvwanderlust that sounds bad and not fun!

carnivalsoration one hour. it isn't even that long. plus imagine how impressed people would be to know you can withstand torture

vwarlordvwanderlust > You start typing: "okay this is vwhy evweryone assumed you're a serial k" > Hm. That last one is a good message, though.

you don't think i can.

carnivalsoration i don't think you can

vwarlordvwanderlust you're the expert, i guess.

> God it would be so fucking impressive though.

carnivalsoration but i don't know for sure, since timeline differences. i don't wanna spread false information, specially if it helps rebels

vwarlordvwanderlust > GOD THAT'S SUCH A GOOD POINT.

okay but it's gotta vwait six nights.

carnivalsoration how come?

vwarlordvwanderlust not because i'm putting it off or anything, because i'm in a rustie body.

carnivalsoration why does that matter? the people most frequently tortured are lowbloods and i did say i wouldn't damage you. no knives, no electricity, nothin

vwarlordvwanderlust huh. yeah, i guess so. vwhat'll you do?

carnivalsoration waterboard

vwarlordvwanderlust so not to be ovwerly critical but like.

are you going to cause BRAIN DAMAGE. this seems vwild.

carnivalsoration i'm an expert, would i cause brain damage in one of my friends just for kicks? look up how long the average rustblood can hold their breath. gimme that long. not even an hour, just a little bit

vwarlordvwanderlust one to tvwo minutes... vwe'll say tvwo. or three or vwhatevwer idc. you think this is THAT bad???

carnivalsoration yeah

vwarlordvwanderlust > If this guy ends up torturing you to death, even the like one person who'd care, wouldn't care after reading this conversation. This would be a dumb fucking decision. This is so stupid, you'd absolutely regret this, there's only one answer you could plausibly give.

yeah, okay.

carnivalsoration aight. i'll give ya new coordinates

vwarlordvwanderlust not gonna be a cool outdoorsy forest vwibe for this torture sesh? hahaha

carnivalsoration we could move it to inside in my block and then make out

vwarlordvwanderlust nice!

carnivalsoration right?? you get tortured, come out fine, and then get to make out. what a fuckin nice night, right?

vwarlordvwanderlust okay it's not the night you think vwill happen though. you're just humoring me. but you're vwrong, so

carnivalsoration i'll make out with you either way

vwarlordvwanderlust it vwon't come up, haha.

carnivalsoration :o* [coords.txt]

vwarlordvwanderlust > Swoon.

😘❗

vwait.

carnivalsoration :o?

vwarlordvwanderlust okay no this isn't me pussying out i promise it's just. my transportalizer pass is for like. me. so is my id. saness and mituna and people just like. got here, though.

carnivalsoration mmmm. aight, what's ya coords? also tell me where a big bathtub is

vwarlordvwanderlust okay, sorry to be all annoying. oh uh. okay yeah.

carnivalsoration chill out, i ain't fussed

vwarlordvwanderlust > This is rough, on account of, you know. Being kicked out of your hive. But it's probably best not to do it there anyways, so off you go, trespassing on abandoned properties to scope out the bathrooms. Eventually you find something good enough, fairly recently vacated, and send coordinates.

> This is going to be cool.

carnivalsoration > Fucking Arrive! You are trying not to be too excited about being able to torture someone, but you're still pretty hype. You have all the things you'll need. Plenty of water to waste, a cloth to wrap around his face, your recording app open on your phone to record when he isn't looking.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You're only about as nervous as you were before you went hunting (and that turned out so great).

> You grin and wave. This time, you lack any purple in your outfit, and your eyes are red, and you don't have fins, but you look basically the same.

"Hey there, doll. Howv's it going?"

> It's not stalling if it's just a little bit.

carnivalsoration "Pretty damn good so far. You aight gettin your clothes wet, or should we take em off?" You raise eyebrows at him a few times. Waggle.

> Don't be too eager, Makara.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You pull on your shirt, thinking about no just kidding it's always good to take off your shirt. You're vulnerable enough without taking off your pants, though.

"This alright vwith you, doll?"

> You can eyebrow waggle with the best of them. Hitting on people is good.

carnivalsoration > Touch a tit. "Nice." Hitting on people Is good.

> You pull out a scrap of fabric and smile. "Lemme blindfold ya, brother." You're thinking about things that are ridiculous enough that it'll make it funny to confess to but that he won't be offended about later.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Nice.

> See, the thing is that this is such a good and valid sexy scenario if you forget about the torture that's definitely going to happen.

"Sure, yeah."

> You cooperate with a nervous laugh.

carnivalsoration > Blindfold: On. You make sure to adjust it just right, so he can't see you. "I'm going to lead you to the tub now," you say, softly.

> And you do, gently, and telling him to mind the ledge. All you really need is a drain. And water, of course. But you've got that.

vwarlordvwanderlust "Gotcha."

> It's surprisingly disorienting, being led around a fairly unfamiliar environment blindfolded, even for such a short distance. You're already feeling a little nervous about this.

> Maybe the professional torture guy who got people to say stuff that went against their own interests knows what he's talking about with regards to torture?

> But maybe you're just an unstoppable badass. Probably that second one.

carnivalsoration > You lead him in and direct him to lay down. You're very calm and reassuring.

> And then you try to place your camera on a ledge so it peers down at Cronus, get in the tub on top of him to pin him down. You'll try to grab his wrists, place them above his head, grab them with one hand. And one of his horns too. You'll narrate your actions the whole time.

> Damn, indigos are strong when you're a rustblood, him actually resisting you is a bit like him resisting really fleshy iron.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You cooperate, maybe metaphorically dragging your heels a bit, but, oh, no you aren't, fuck this dude is strong.

> FUCK this would be hot if it wasn't for this.

> You're a little wiggly, but not like you're necessarily trying to get away (not that you could), more like you keep wanting to look around.

> It's a lot harder to keep your face casual without the reminder of eye contact, for some reason.

> It's just a couple of minutes, though! It's fine! You Have Never Been Calmer.

> (It'd be really funny if your light hyperventilating made you pass out before he did anything. Funny for some people, at least.)

carnivalsoration > Oh how fucking precious that is. He's so cute, and he doesn't even verbally object. Plausible deniability!

> You grin a little bit where he can't see. "Your three minutes starts now."

> You pull out a gallon jug of water from your dex and start pouring it over his nose and mouth. It looks so ridiculous for being as effective as it is, considering it quickly starts to feel like he's barely keeping his head above water.

"Cronus, did you make me a cookie?" You ask down sternly at him. Not loud, not aggressive per se, but definitely authoritarian.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Blblbr?!?

> Okay this is bad actually.

> You thrash a little, reflexively, but don't get far. You try to shake your head but, uh, can't.

"No--?"

> Boy the water sure just keeps happening. It's a good thing your body inherited reflexes to not breathe water, or this would have been over very fast, since you'd already be coughing it up onto the floor.

> This is a really bad thing but it's not for very long. It's fine!

> The nice thing about being tortured is you're too distracted to worry about keeping a straight face.

> The bad thing about being tortured is all the other stuff. :(

carnivalsoration > Oh, hey, he didn't immediately submit. That's fine. Patience is all you need. The water keeps up in a steady stream. "You did, didn't you. Don't lie to me, you did make me a cookie. Didn't you?!"

> A forceful tone of voice and persistence is all you need. Soon he'll be too disoriented to do much more than choke and agree with you.

vwarlordvwanderlust ==> Cronus: choke and agree with him.

> This was a terrible idea!

> (Wow, Cronus, if only there was any way of knowing that.)

> Your panicked failing gets a little more forceful, but not any more effective.

"Stop, yes--"

> You're dying, he's killing you, you're going to drown here and nobody will ever know what happened.

carnivalsoration "And just what happened to that cookie, Cronus?" You accuse. "Did you fucking eated it??" Oh messiahs bless, saying that with a straight face is so funny. So hard.

"Don't you dare fucking lie, did you Eated my Cookie?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > You already said yes! You really will definitely die at his hands. AaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA

"Yes, I did, stop,"

> Your lungs don't feel right, but you don't know if there's actually water in there or if you're just freaking the fuck out without haviing gills, so it feels different.

> Glub glub,

> When you get back in your right mind, you'll be mad. This is the dumbest thing imaginable

carnivalsoration > Okay, now to get to the aftercare portion so no one thinks you're evil or whatever.

> You stop pouring water, captchalogue the jug, and get out of the tub. Then you help him sit up, lean forward. "Alright, now. Cough. Get it all outta ya."

> ..... Grab your phone. Fuck you hope that recorded the right angle.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Water, water everywhere, the last thing you're ever going to feel is water-- no water.

> You're shivering, and coughing weird-- you don't know enough about this to know if it's normal for torture weird, though.

> When he gets you into a better position, you cough up a little more water than might be expected for someone else who this happened to. Probably you just tried to breathe a little more than most people.

> When you're a little less full of water, you   go for the blindfold, if he hasn't taken care of it already. Seeing is good.

carnivalsoration > Oh shit blindfold, better hide the phone! Captchaloguing is so convenient for slight of hand stuff.

> you help him with the blindfold, very helpfully, with no ulterior motives whatsoever, and then give him a little pat on the back.

"You did pretty well! Didn't beg, don't think you cried. Still definitely confessed though."

vwarlordvwanderlust > You're tearing up a little bit now, but it's probably just the coughing, because you don't feel anything about this. It's basically no big deal.

> You glare at him, looking about as threatening as a half drowned kitten.

"You tried to kill me!"

> You sound vaguely hysterical.

carnivalsoration "Nope, you weren't even close to death. If i had tried to kill you, i got a billion other different ways to do it and there'd be no try about it."

> Pat him a little more. Its okay dear Cronus, it's all okay.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Rub at your eyes with one hand and try to take deep breaths, the way you were taught to instruct a charge to do if they flipped out.

> If you actually thought it was an attempt on your life, you'd be running, for all the good it'd do you. You still think it got closer than he's saying, but.

"I'vwe gotta stop givwing myself chances to look like an idiot in front of you."

> You sound calmer, but not, you know. Calm.

carnivalsoration > You laugh a bit, waggle your brows. "I like idiots, if that helps." It probably won't. "Anyway, my respect for people ain't based on the sorta thing that you seem so down on yourself about, so you're basically in the clear on that front."

> Not on several other things, but what can ya do. If you're ringleader, try to be nice anyway.

vwarlordvwanderlust > 'You didn't look like an idiot, Cronus', would have been the correct response, but he tried.

> Hhhhhhh.

> You haul yourself shakily out of the tub.

"Thanks, babe. Good looking out. Excellent. Appreciate it."

> You look at your hands, remembering the ineffectual struggling, and shiver. But in like, a cool and nonchalant way, totally.

"Man. Rusties are, uh. Vweak, huh?"

> Not that you could necessarily beat twelve feet of clown in an arm wrestling match normally, but still.

carnivalsoration > Oh good, he actually got that little bit of empathy you tried to make happen. Yes, he is weak as a rusty, and that's how they feel all the time!

"Yeah. Bones are more fragile too. Pretty nuts, ain't it? I barely even felt you struggling."

> How much can you hammer things home before you make it obvious? .... Let's give it a try.

"Browns and yellows ain't much better, ya know. They kinda have to do whatever we want em to, one on one, unless they got real good psionic control." Which means Mituna can't easily say no to what you do, Fuckwit. .... If only you could say those words out loud. Can't seem too sympathetic, though, you're supposed to be a mean Alternian who is being nice to him for some reason.

> Plus or minus some waterboarding.

vwarlordvwanderlust "Haha, better to be on the other side of that one, I'vwe gotta say."

> Lowbloods are weak and it's funny. Not that you sound all that amused right this particular instant, but you'll be back to normal soon enough.

"Not an especially controvwersial opinion,  I knowv. Anyvways! That's good, I guess. Makes things easier to handle."

> Now you're into the fucking with your hair stage of emotional recovery, because it definitely got all messed up.

carnivalsoration > Hahaha yeah, better to be a coolblood, outnumbered a hundred to one. That's a good side to be on. Ha. Ha. Ha.

> You watch him fix his hair for several moments before you proceed to just. Fuck it up again. Ruffle ruffle ruffle.

"I won the bet. What do i get as a prize?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > Pout at him.

"C'mon, boss, vwhy you gotta be like that?"

> It's pretty fucking wild how this guy actually literally tortured you, admittedly at your request, but you're so willing to be his friend.

> You smile tentatively at the question, a far cry from your typical cocky smirk.

"I dunno, big guy. Vwhat do you vwant?"

> It COULD not be a come on, except that you kinda. Lick your lips and waggle your eyebrows. Just a little. A smidge. It's probably really casual.

carnivalsoration > You like teasing him, and you laugh when he pouts. "Ain't my fault you look cute with mussed hair."

> And then he licks his lips and waggles his brows in a way that reminds you of yourself, except that you like to go overboard with it like it's a joke so that people can brush it off without the whole thing being hella awkward.

> You chuckle a little more, tap his nose. "I'll save my spoils for another time, hmm? In the meantime, though."

> Bend over, pick him up by the ass, and just give him a big ol kiss on his lips.

vwarlordvwanderlust "Yeah, you really think it looks alright?"

> Preen. You're incredibly fucking vain, which is pretty obvious considering your everything about you, and you appreciate being called cute. Even if tough would be preferable.

> OH THIS IS A VERY GOOD THING!

> Kiss back with just a little more enthusiasm than technique, though it isn't like you're terrible. This is a good night. You should probably put your shirt back on eventually, but it's not a particularly high priority at the moment.

carnivalsoration > Oh, boi, you're always the teacher and the experienced one. Otherwise you might be annoyed to be in such a position yet again.

> .... Grope his ass, tho, check if its doin alright, and see how quick he is to learn how to make out good.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You relax into it before too long, less tongue aggression can only improve things.

> You're basically only alright.

> You nip at his lips with lowblood-dull teeth, and grin when he gropes you. You don't want to take your arms away from their position over his shoulders, or you'd return the favor.

> Nothing bad has ever happened to you and everything is great.

carnivalsoration > Oh, teeth always get a good reaction out of you, inexperienced or no. Son of a bitch, you didn't want him to actually have Power over you.

> .... Whatever.

> How long can you keep him entertained with just. A lot of making out.

vwarlordvwanderlust > :D

> Cronus Will Remember That.

> Who doesn't like teeth, though, really.

> Oh, so fucking long. For all that you claimed to be all about the orgasms earlier, you sure are happy to keep doing this!

carnivalsoration > You'll keep going for at least like five minutes. He's getting so into it, you half expect to feel something wiggling against your chest.

vwarlordvwanderlust > YOU'RE getting a little squirmy, but at least you're not an adolescent anymore, so nothing's happening downstairs. That he can feel, at least.

> ... This is really good but like. Maybe. You don't need both hands to hold yourself up.

> You try and reach for his crotch, but don't stop making out.

carnivalsoration > Your eyebrows actually raise at his bold move, and you pull away a couple so you can look at him. And look down at the reaching hand.

> Your bulge is Definitely not out.

"Lookin ta escalate, brother?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > You didn't think it would be, neither is yours, but this is how you get stuff to happen! You do it!

> You stare blankly at him.

"No, vwhy do you ask?"

> You may make some questionable "jokes" about lowbloods, but your deadpan delivery is pretty good.

carnivalsoration "Cuz I'm not!" You say, with a smile and a single fingergun.

> For quite a few reasons. One of which is that you're not really In The Mood. Another, you have to ask Saness for permission.

> But, most importantly, you want to hold that particular bit of encouragement for later.

vwarlordvwanderlust > ?????????????????????????

> You look a little crestfallen, but mostly baffled.

> Maybe being tortured and then crying about it and coughing up water at someone isn't overwhelmingly sexy.

> No, that's probably not it.

> You roll your eyes, but withdraw your hand, and prepare to go back to making out.

carnivalsoration > That's fine. You are gonna just make out a while and think ya thoughts.

> How long can he even go at this before he gets bored...

vwarlordvwanderlust > Not THAT long, as it turns out. A couple minutes later, you pull back.

"Okay but are you sure?"

carnivalsoration > Bitch.

"Would I say it if I wasn't sure?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Maybe?"

> Your wide eyed innocent look isn't nearly as cute as you'd like to think, especially when it's about wanting to get in someone's pants.

"I'm just making sure, you knowv, people can change their minds, and that's okay if you ask me."

carnivalsoration "If I want to fuck you, you'll know. Because I will tell you, and then I will do it."

> Your voice isn't so friendly now.

vwarlordvwanderlust > Jeez, some people are so touchy. You'd raise your hands in surrender, but you're still a little worried that he'll drop you.

"Yeah, got it, good to knowv! It's good to be clear on stuff."

> ...Hm. Are makeouts even really the mood anymore? Why do actions have consequences???

carnivalsoration > You sigh, roll your eyes. "If you say no, what the fuck do you expect people to do? Ask you again, just to make sure?"

> Time to put the boi down. Things aren't that fun and he ruined it by being a shitheel.

vwarlordvwanderlust > :(

> This sucks.

> You pout, and the whine in your voice is definitely really cool and adult.

"I mean, I vwouldn't expect it, necessarily, but I vwouldn't make it a big deal..."

carnivalsoration > How fiercely do you have to glare to give him the full picture of the disdain you have for that whine and those words? You give it a shot for fucking sure. That is a hell of a nasty look.

"You think I'm makin a big deal out of it? I could be so much more overt with my anger and annoyance, motherfucker, I could make a real big deal outta it. My body is mine, my consent is mine, and I can do with it as little or as much as I mother fuckin please, do you understand me?"

> You step up on him with that last little bit, to loom over him. You are not pleased.

vwarlordvwanderlust > HhhhhhhHHHHHHH MAN IT'S NOT AS SEXY THAT HE'S BIG ANYMORE ACTUALLY.

> Wilt under the weight of that glare+loom combo, abruptly stepping back, hands up appeasingly.

"Hey hey, yeah, I get it."

> What's that last part you always forget? Oh, right.

"Sorry!"

> God this bastard is scary. You just want him to like you, this shouldn't be so hard!

carnivalsoration "What do you get? Tell me the lesson you learned. Don't just repeat after me, tell me why what you just said was fucked up."

> you are still looming.

vwarlordvwanderlust "You'd vwin,"

> Not probably a particularly promising start, but goddamn, this sure is the guy who tortured you VERY RECENTLY, huh.

"I get it, you can do vwhatevwer you vwant, I got it, that one vwas my bad."

> You may be the seadweller, but he's still more experienced than you, and four fucking feet taller. You stumble back another step, grinning nervously.

carnivalsoration > Ooh this motherfucker

"That ain't the POINT," you growl. "Try again. I got faith you can get this lesson. It ain't about me, it's about you."

vwarlordvwanderlust > It's not like he's pursuing you, and you feel like if you keep backing up you'll hit wall, which would really not help with the feeling safe thing, so you stop. Even though he growls, and it's fucking terrifying.

"I vwas annoying and pushy? And shouldn't be?"

> Your rising inflection makes it clear that you're definitely guessing, but at least it's an educated guess.

carnivalsoration "There's more to it than annoying." But you seem a little satisfied by that answer. "There's a lot fuckin more to it. You were pushy. People don't like bein round pushy people who don't respect their decisions. And that's the fuckin problem. You didn't respect my decision."

> How do you really drill this into him, you wonder...

vwarlordvwanderlust > Now you're a little defensive.

"I respected your decision! Look, I'm not doing anything nowv, am I?"

> Everyone always assumes the worst of you just because of all the things you do and say, and the person who you are.

carnivalsoration > Your expression gets tight and angry before you sit on the edge of the tub and put your head in your hands for half a second.

"Cronus Ampora," you say, softly. "Have you ever met someone who's been raped?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > What's. Your head snaps up to look at him, and you flush maroon, suddenly angry and upset, but still nervous. Off balance.

"I didn't-- I don't-- that doesn't havwe ANYTHING to do vwith this!"

carnivalsoration "Why not? Haven't you heard about all the people who said no, and then said yes reluctantly because they felt there would be consequences after. Or because they were pressured? And then they got fucked. When they didn't want to be. Someone's hands defiled their body and someone's bulge made them hate themselves. Have you never heard of that?"

> You look at him with deadly seriousness.

"So. Tell me. Have you ever met someone. Who has been sexually violated?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "... No. I mean, not. I don't think that's. That doesn't *happen* here."

> That kind of... crime? It's probably a crime sometimes. But it's not a Beforan thing.

> That's one of those big scary Alternian things.

> You've never heard of anything with a yes involved being called rape, though.

> You fuck with your hair more, no longer meeting his gaze.

carnivalsoration > You reach over, grab him, tug him towards you to make sure he looks you in the eyes.

"It happens everywhere. Everywhere anyone wants to have power over anyone else, or everywhere anyone feels they don't have to pay attention to the wants of anyone else."

> You look at him for two long moments of silence.

"If you ever want to meet a rape victim, keep doing what you did there. You'll make one. Violence doesn't have to be bloody or involve kicking and screaming to happen. Don't let it happen while you're not paying attention."

vwarlordvwanderlust "That's not..."

> You trail off kind of weakly.

"I vwouldn't make people do any-- I vwouldn't make people do that."

> You are, in fact, processing what he's saying, but it doesn't really sound like it, maybe.

"I'm not-- I'm a good guy!"

> The looming sensation of realizing the consequences of your past actions threatens to encroach on your feelings, but you beat that shit back with a stick. This was a rough enough night already, he doesnt need to basically call you a terrible person.

> Your voice is small and tentative when you speak next.

"Isn't it like. Important. For highbloods to, uh. Take things. If they vwant them, and they're tough and can havwe them?"

> You sound like you're trying to remember something from class, not like you're actually making an argument.

carnivalsoration > You watch him, watch expressions flit over his face as you let your words sink in. His question is an important one to figure out how to answer, you can't just say whatever comes to mind.

> It's a few moments before you respond.

"Taking things from others because you have the ability to doesn't change that it's stealing. Fucking someone because you can doesn't automatically make it consentual on their part. Conquest for someone is still torture for someone else. You can't be a good person and a victorious person at the same time, if you hurt someone to get there. People don't like someone and fear someone at the same time."

> You look at him seriously. You can't treat him like a kid, you can't treat him like a dick who doesn't matter. He's an adult who can make his own choices, and they are choices that will define him.

"You choose who you want to be. What you want to do with your power. Every choice you make opens some doors and closes others. You have more doors you can go through than lowbloods do, but but inevitably, you will define yourself by your actions. And you will define the opinions others have of you by them, and by what you do with the choices you have and the results that come of them."

> You hope he's getting the full power of your words. You definitely phrase them like they're important.

"You can take whatever you get your hands on. But shit like 'respect', like 'fondness', like bein liked, cannot be taken by force. It cannot just happen. You put effort into it, into the thoughts of feelings of others. Fear is easy to win. Disgust is easy to win. Easy to keep. Trust is what's hard to win, hard to keep. And, to me, hard things are generally worth earning."

vwarlordvwanderlust > He had you going for a second there. A while, even. You were listening with rapt attention, wide eyed, but.

> As persuasive as he is, as smart as he seems, there's an obvious hole in his argument, and he can't have missed it.

"People lovwe and fear the empress. Evweryone does. She vwants it all and she takes it, and she has it! I'm not trying to put myself on her levwel, but she's the trollish ideal."

> God, but you want to be liked.

"Do you... really believwe all this stuff?"

> You don't know what his motivations would be if he didn't, but.

carnivalsoration > You nod gravely at his question. "I speak the truth I've discovered through pain and trials, and I mean every word of it. Now, I want you to tell me something, and I want you to be thinkin real hard about yourself and about all those people you hang with."

> You raise a wry eyebrow. "Do you, personally, love the empress? Like you do, say, yourself. Or your lusus. Do you think all of your friends do? Go through em one by one, in your mind, see if you can find one that you think might not. You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. But I want you to be true to yourself, at the very fuckin least."

> You'll let that sink in for a moment, while you watch him.

vwarlordvwanderlust > You think about Mituna, broken and shoved into a padded cage by her policies, and grimace. . Other examples filter up through your mind more gradually, but his is the most salient.

"Vwell... evweryone respects--"

> You think about the fact that he was even broken in the first place because he was protesting her policies, biting the jeweled hand that fed him. He got what was coming to him, though...

> Your mouth settles into a stubborn line

"...Evweryone SHOULD respect the empress, if they're decent. Right?"

> Making such a tentative, heavily conditional statement at all in an argument, let alone then asking for confirmation, should probably be a sign that you're not really feeling it.

carnivalsoration "What is the difference, I wonder, between respect of somethin dangerous, like not playin with fire, and respect of someone's opinions because you value their input and believe they would value yours."

> He's so stubborn and so panwashed by all that propaganda, but he's slowly coming to important realizations that will shape him. And you're proud of him for it, it's sure not an easy thing to do.

"Decency is subjective. You gotta ask yourself what you think is decent. Gotta come to the conclusion, yourself, what you value in a person. Convictions are personal. I want to know what yours are, when you think about what you value most in a person."

vwarlordvwanderlust "You don't need to believwe someone vwould vwalue your input to respect their opinions. Eridan doesn't givwe a shit about anything I say, but he's a good kid and he knowvs lots of stuff."

> Mmm. You feel weird about all this. It's another elaborate test, and you've failed every single one he's given you before it.

"Vwhy do you vwant to knowv?"

carnivalsoration "Oh, but tell me if that makes you less likely to have meaningful conversations with him. Like the one we're having right now."

> Feeling weird is a normal part of this process. It sucks though. You don't like it either.

> You give him a wry smile at his next little question.

"Because I want to respect you, for your own sake."

vwarlordvwanderlust "Sure, I guess."

> Not that that proves anything.

> Hm. You look at him, really look at him, trying to gauge his sincerity.

> You continue to suck at that. Fortunately, you just assume he's sincere.

"I guess... Loyalty. Passion. Honor. Ambition, and uh, success too. It doesn't matter if you don't succeed, haha. Bravwery. The usual?"

> You don't sound especially certain, but then, it's not a question you've had cause to think about much. Not explicitly, at least.

carnivalsoration "I don't wanna hear about the usual. The expected answers. Those are buzzwords, words everyone likes and likes to think about themself. I want to hear somethin that could be individual to you. You ain't everyone. You're you. You got your own shit to bring to the table and I wanna hear what Cronus Ampora, specifically, values."

vwarlordvwanderlust "I don't..."

> This is a Big Question. Him first.

"Vwhat vwould you say, someone asked you that?"

> You have literally no clue. Maybe his answer will be inspiring.

carnivalsoration "I value people who have conviction but are open to change. I value people who respect thoughts different than their own, and can learn from things they don't experience. I like people who will hear me talk about my gods and not dismiss everythin I say. I like people who are thoughtful about their enemies as well as their friends. I like people who get angry. And I like people who can control their anger. I respect people who have knowledge but don't assume they know everything. I respect people who have been through shit but still know not to apply what they know universally, without context. I like people who are different from me."

vwarlordvwanderlust > Well, at the very least, you sure get angry.

"Vwowv, that's. A lot."

> You jam your hands in your pockets and look to the side.

"I dunno. I just. Like people vwho like me."

> That's the dumbest and truest thing you've ever said.

carnivalsoration > Welp, that didn't Quite work.

"What makes you dislike people?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "I guess I don't like it vwhen people..."

> 'Are mean to me'. Shit. You need a different one.

> Kick at the ground. This is so complicated.

"It's obnoxious vwhen people don't care about anything at all. There's so much *stuff*, and some people can't be bothered to pay attention to any of it. This is vworse than the torture, because it's making me face howv boring I am. "

> (Just kidding, you won't actually face that for a good while yet.)

carnivalsoration > You hum, consider him. "You're not boring. Not really. You're just... Not finished. You're like an artist and your canvas. And you've got all your outlines set up, but there ain't any color yet."

> Better continue on before he gets offended, delicate little shit. "Still, that's important, that thing you just said. You don't like people who don't care. So it follows that you're drawn to people who do care. Does it matter, to you, what they care about?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > Rude.

> But yeah, it turns out dicking around on a guitar all night and fantasizing about killing aliens doesn't actually lead to much growth as a person.

"Yeah, passion, like I said."

> You think for a second.

"I guess... I mean, it's best if they care about shit that's interesting. I mean, I don't vwanna hear some nerd go on about model trains for hours. But I think caring about something enough to dedicate yourself to it is cool."

> You're kind of opening up again, even though this isn't exactly something you're used to talking about. You don't feel like you're on the edge of a wrong answer, though.

"Art, especially, though. Art is so..."

> Useful? Important? Nah. You fold back into yourself a little.

"It's neat, at least. I guess being interested in something practical is better."

carnivalsoration > You like that, like that he can see the value in giving a shit about things he doesn't care a lick about. Your expression has been steadily softening, and now you smile a little at his words. He's doing great. Keep going, Cronus.

> And then he says something a bit down again, a bit Alternian Standard, and you have to reach back for what he was so close to expressing. Something genuine about Himself.

"No, tell me more about art, brother. I wanna hear your thoughts. What excites you about art, about music?"

vwarlordvwanderlust > You laugh a little.

"You're biased because you're a clowvn, but yeah, sure."

> You fall back into the subject with little encouragement, seemingly forgetting that this is the Big Scary Alternian Mentor Guy.

"Art is... Good art, to clarify, because there's a lot of shit out there. But art is beautiful evwen vwhen it's ugly, because art is honest evwen vwhen it's fake. All art tells a truth about the artist, y'knowv?"

carnivalsoration "I do know. I like that about art, I like knowin about people through what they do and how they do it."

> You don't mind the clown stereotyping. Just this once. It's true enough anyway.

"And what do you think your art says about you?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Vwell, if you havwe to ask, it must not havwe been saying vwery vwell!"

> You take that in good humor, though.

"I guess my public stuff, the newv music, is mostly about me being cool and tough and a loyal citizen. But subject isn't the same as message... It probably mostly says howv self centered I am."

> Candor!

> You do talk a lot about yourself in your songs.

carnivalsoration > You laugh a bit as well. "Well, the message I get and the message you intend can be two separate things. Art is individual even to the observers of it. But I think that comes across pretty well."

> You think it comes across that he's lonely and desperate.

"What about your private stuff, then? The stuff where you are the artist and the intended audience?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Vwell, I mean, that stuff's privwate."

> So's your vent blog, but this guy has that too.

> You stare off into the middle distance, because it makes you look cool and deep.

"I guess it mostly just says that I'm sensitivwe. Major character flawv, but sometimes the babes lovwe it, so it's a mixed bag. It's all about heartbreak and abandonment or vwhatevwer."

carnivalsoration > Oh fuck. Oh fuck it's so hard to not laugh at him sometimes.

> You keep back the chuckles and feel glad that he's staring off into the distance like a nerd.

"So you feel abandoned? Misunderstood?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Sure, yeah. I mean, it's not like people stick around."

> For Some Reason.

"Nobody really gets me, and nobody really cares to try. I guess you do, and San."

carnivalsoration > .... And That's about all the focus you're willing to have with this conversation.

"Well, me and saness are gonna do our best. So. Ya know. Try not to make it too hard on us."

vwarlordvwanderlust "I'll do my best."

> Grin, setting aside your Dramatic Melancholy for later.

"I like you guys, you're great. Vweird, but hey, vwho isn't?"

carnivalsoration "Who knows. No one I wanna chill with."

> A few seconds of looking at him.

"Hey I got shit to do and I can't really do it in this busted up hive."

vwarlordvwanderlust "No, yeah, I vwas just about to ask if you vwere ready to dip."

> It's time for lots of introspection, followed by promptly discarding all the conclusions you come to that feel bad.

> This was. Something. Lots of things.

"Do you havwe your owvn vway back? San did."

carnivalsoration > You're not sure he actually was. You're just a little tired of dealing with a wiggler.

"Yeah," you motion to a bracer very similar to hers. "I'm pretty good on transport. Catch ya later?"

vwarlordvwanderlust "Seeya around, boss."

> Fingerguns and wink. God you're charming. Time to go.

carnivalsoration > You disappear! Bye bitch.

#torture #rape mention #hemism #hemoism #talk about status #animal death #parent death #death #objectification #gas lighting #maybe? #manipulation #coercion #tw: cronus #ableism #maybe #heavy topics #tw: rl's gonna be in trouble #ask to tag #i'm so sorry yall #this is long #long post #vwarlordvwanderlust #ooc eyes only