#halsinmance

[veilkeeper]

thoughts on the astarion-halsin polymance

i know some people dont like the halsin polymance specifically if the PC's other partner is astarion but. i want to talk about it. because i think maybe a lot of people have come to conclusions without seeing the scenes in question for themselves. so let me give a different perspective.

disclaimers: *i know a lot of people ship/hc this polymance as a triad, but for the purposes of this post i'm talking specifically about the "hinge" dynamic we see in-game thx. **also i got the halsin romance trigger before completing astarion's personal quest, so this post is talking about that perspective, and all quotes are from those conversations. ***i respect people who dont play this route. you're allowed to play this game however you want. the purpose of this post is to discuss the canon, in-game text and how it supports the astarion-halsin polymance as a viable and healthy path for these relationships, with nuance and respect to astarion's personal issues. this is not meant to convert anyone, but it is meant to clarify and provide additional context that i feel is largely missing from a lot of discussions about how the polymance is "bad", unilaterally.

let's start with halsin, because i think he's the easier perspective to tease out here, given that he really leaves nothing to the imagination. he's incredibly earnest and open, and will happily describe his perspective on non-monogamy right out the gate. as he says...

The wolf mates for life, but the bear roams free and partners as its instinct dictates. I need to stay true to my nature, and you to yours.

now, to get ahead of potential backlash here... if you haven't spent a lot of time with halsin, particularly if you've never flirted with him, that line may imply that he's a "player". he is not. given the context of the PCs interactions with him up to this point (and how he treats the relationship after, if you confirm the romance), halsin is deeply devoted, and has really strong feelings for the PC. it's really sweet, i highly recommend romancing him, either as a polymance or solo.

what he's describing here is a perspective of cultural non-monogamy. that he believes his feelings are not diminished by having multiple relationships at the same time, and he expects that if the PC agrees to a relationship with him that they will respect his freedom to pursue others when/if such feelings arise, just as he will respect the PC's freedom to continue and/or pursue other relationships as well. it's a really succinct and frankly unexpectedly respectful negotiation of the terms of a polyam relationship.

and that respect is evident from the get go. if you've never seen this conversation, it basically opens with him saying "hey, i have these feelings about you, i was wondering if you maybe felt the same," and if the PC says that they do, he immediately acknowledges the existing relationship and tells the PC that they can't move forward without consent. and you cant; speaking to halsin again just has him ask the PC if they've spoken to their other partner yet. at every turn, halsin is incredibly respectful of the PCs other partner, he never diminishes that relationship, nor does he expect the PC to ever place him above that relationship. he even says:

Indeed, I am but one of your lovers. You and I should seek happiness, wherever it lies. You are all I want, but I will not hoard you to myself.

he makes it very clear from the get-go that he has no designs on the PC's other relationship and that he is more than happy to take whatever they want to give him.

which leads me to my overarching point: astarion is consenting to this dynamic specifically because the other person in question is halsin.

and we know this for a few reasons. first, because.... mechanically in game, he's the only person you can romance at the same time as astarion. while astarion mentions at various points that he is fine with "arrangements", generally speaking, every other potential romance partner results in a "you have to choose one of us" conversation. the reason astarion gives for why the PC has to choose varies, i believe, but since i don't have the dialogue on hand (i have been faithful as hell in my playthrough) i won't speculate about those conversations.

however, we also know that astarion is consenting to an arrangement with halsin specifically because of this line:

The druid is unique. He has a lot of experience with this type of arrangement. Thus, I'm sure it would be quite a harmless affair.

which is interesting, isn't it? hold onto this one, we'll circle back to it later. and then of course, the other line we need to discuss from astarion here is the famously controversial...

It's not because… you know… we haven't… in a while?

so this is where i get into the potentially controversial take that i have, because it's more nuanced than arguments i've seen on either side of the pro-/anti- polymance debate. but basically i think that astarion is... insecure. shocker, i know. but unlike some takes i've seen, i dont think this means he can't consent to a polyam relationship, i think it means that he has certain Conditions related to it, that he has decided have been met. and i think those conditions are as follows:

the PC's interest in halsin is not borne out of any deficiency of astarion's.

this is why he asks the famous question. he's insecure, and making sure that the PC's interest in halsin is not because astarion is failing to "satisfy" them, that it's not because he isn't enough. astarion has a lot of self-worth issues that he tries really hard to hide, and i think it would be easy for him to think that the PC starting another relationship could be a result of him being... insufficient.

for people who have never been in a polyam relationship, this is a thing. this is an important thing, and making sure all of your partners feel that they're valued and "enough" is an important part of navigating these relationships. astarion does the right thing here, by expressing his insecurity and asking for reassurance. and when the PC gives it to him, the relief is evident and he gives consent to the dynamic immediately. not because he's been coerced, but because he's been reassured.

PC: Gods, I don't want you to think that for a moment. Astarion: I know I was being foolish. But thank you for saying it.

the second condition is:

that he is still a priority

this is pretty self explanatory but since it's sort of the clincher for my whole argument here, i do have to say the quiet part out loud. i dont think what astarion wants or needs is to be the PC's only partner. he talks about "arrangements" on multiple occasions, i dont think he has a problem with sharing. what i do think he wants is to be the PC's primary partner. what he's consenting to, in my view, is hierarchical polyamory, to use the proper term. as in, the PC can fool around with whoever they want, even have feelings for other people, so long as they always come back to astarion. he needs to feel like he is secure and valued above others as he values them above others. he needs to feel like the PC isn't going anywhere.

and that's why he consents to an arrangement with halsin, but no one else. because all of the other romance options, the origin companions, would want to be equal with astarion, they would want non-hierarchical polyamory. halsin, on the other hand, is all about taking what can be given and having a more fluid understanding of relationships. he doesn't care if he's #1, he cares that the PC cares about him, right now. no formal definitions or obligations required.

that's what astarion means when he says "the druid is unique." that's what he means when he says "he has a lot of experience with this type of arrangement." that's what he means when he says it will be a "harmless affair." because he knows halsin is never going to try to take the PC away from him. he knows halsin isn't going to be a threat to him and his status with his partner. and that's why he's comfortable saying yes, even though he says no to every other possible arrangement.

it's not because he was coerced. it's not because he doesn't know how to say no. it's because he feels safe. and that's what we want.

some additional notes while i'm here...

on jealousy: a lot of people hc astarion as the jealous type, as perhaps a little possessive, and i am also one of those people. it makes sense; he's a guy who hasn't had anything in 200 years, and the PC is the first person he's cared about like this. i can definitely see him being a little possessive and prone to jealousy. but stepping outside of the realm of fiction, jealous/possessive feelings are often the result of insecurity and in real relationships should absolutely not be used as a tool to control the behaviour of another partner. and, crucially, jealous/possessive feelings are a thing to be talked about and worked through, not tip-toed around. the presence of those feelings does not automatically mean that a polyamorous relationship is impossible, it just means there's another thing to talk about, and by astarion consenting to the PC having another relationship, he's pretty clearly saying he's willing to talk through those feelings and work on them.

on the ability to consent: i know that astarion doesn't talk about his feelings enough. but i truly dont think that this is a case of astarion saying yes when he means no. astarion can say no, even in high pressure situations he wasn't expecting. he says no to the astral-touched tadpole (rather firmly, i might add), he says no to sleeping with the drow twins, etc. the scene that most people use as proof that astarion cannot consent happens in a much different emotional context, with a lot of direct coercion, and is followed by astarion taking back personal control and dumping the PC. that is not what happens in this scene, when astarion is consenting to a polyamorous relationship. there is no coercion (in fact the PC can explicitly say "i wouldn't even consider it if it bothered you", and astarion expected the conversation, so he would have been able to prepare his thoughts and feelings ahead of time. at no point does he say no or even imply he's not okay with an arrangement with halsin.

on timing: ive seen some people say that they would be more okay with the astarion-halsin polymance if all of this was not be happening right now. i agree with that. ideally, astarion would have more time to adjust to his relationship before it was opened up at all. but because this is a video game, everything is happening during the events of the game. and because this is a video game, the events of the game are high pressure and wild and everything is happening all at once. i don't blame people who elongate the timeline in fan content, or who turn down halsin because they think its "too soon." thats actually very explicitly something halsin says when he initially propositions the player - that he hopes it isn't "too soon." however, astarion still consents (see point above), and relationships barely ever have good timing. one could argue that even the solomance with astarion does not have good timing, when considering astarion's trauma and recovery. so. we make do. and i think it would be... a disservice? to what is (in my opinion) really good polyam writing to just say "actually it's all terrible and icky because there's a lot going on right now" and dismiss it out of hand.

.......................and i think that's everything. thank you for joining me on this very long (oops) deep dive into this. a double thank you for reading all the way through if you don't like the astarion-halsin polymance. i hope i gave you a different perspective, even if i didn't change your mind. love ya <3

#i am happy to have discussions on this post but let's be civil please! #astarion #halsin #halsinmance #halsin polymance #bg3 #bg3 meta #mine

[momochanners]

They demo-ed the Halsin Romance with Origin Astarion at Panel from Hell

Astarion's gonna walk crooked for the next few days OwO

#Halsinmance #One option was FULL FURRY #Bodice Ripper afficionados we eating good

[jrmaxwell]

"my heart~" not super happy with this but be'tti and halsin are my babies and deserve love

#fan art #art #digital fanart #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 tav #halsin #halsinmance #githyanki #romance #they cute #druids #druids in love #kiss kiss fall in love

[biscuitkazoo]

So Halsin really lived through a true crime podcast situation and the game just says Lol Hot, huh?

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #halsin #halsinmance #B plays BG3 #wtf Larian :') #among my other grievances with this romance... #wtfff #awoo #bear husband #(guys I got the game because of him-this romance arc has been an emotional roller-coaster)

[crossdressingdeath]

Halsin: Indeed, I am but one of your lovers. You and I should each seek happiness, wherever it lies. You are all I want, but I will not hoard you to myself. Let others know the happiness of being with you.

Halsin really is like "Look, I have the best, most extraordinary lover in all of Faerûn and it would be wrong to keep that to myself". Being with you is great, he's not going to keep other people from that if you want more than one lover!

#bg3 #halsinmance

[drhu0806]

31 – “It’s not your fault.”

Fandom: Baldur’s Gate 3 (fanfiction) Characters: Halsin, Tav/custom player character Rating: T Warnings: depictions of death, depictions of grief

Halsin finds her lounging on a fallen log by herself, her feet swinging off the edge as she gently sways back and forth to a silent melody only she can hear, pensively staring at nothing in particular. The crunch of leaves beneath his feet betray his presence, and Kainé glances up, giving him a wave.

“Hi, Halsin. Out for a walk?”

“In a way. I was looking for you in particular, actually.”

“Oh, did you need something?”

“Am I not allowed to simply enjoy your company?” he chuckles. “Though, if you would rather I leave you alone…”

“No, it’s fine.” She pats the space next to her, and he happily takes a seat. For a while, they gladly sit in silence, listening to the peaceful sounds of nature around them. The archdruid would normally love enjoy such a meditative atmosphere, but this time he’s come with a mission.

“What are you going to do now, Kainé?” he asks. “Your grandmother has been avenged. The people out here are safe from the clutches of the Shadow Druids. What will you do next?”

“Well, we still have an elder brain to contend with…”

“You know what I mean.”

She falls silent. It’s so quiet he can almost hear her thinking, contemplating a future she never had the foresight to consider until recently. Kainé, in all honesty, doesn’t know how to answer, so she says the only thing she can.

“I think… I think I’m going to miss my family.”

When Halsin looks at her, he sees the years of responsibility peeled away. Countless days of telling herself that she’ll be fine, of silently bearing a burden she doesn’t think she has the strength to carry, but she does so nonetheless because she has to. He sees the tired, bittersweet melancholy she’s had to put away for so long finally revealed.

“If you don’t mind my asking, what do you miss about them?”

“My mother used to be a songstress. She had the most beautiful voice; she used to sing my sister and me to sleep.”

“Ah, I see where you get it from.”

“Ha! Flatterer. My father… Well, it’s been so long I’m beginning to wonder if I’m forgetting his face. But… I can kind of remember how he always did his best to make me laugh. He used to do this—there was this silly little magic trick he would do, usually pulling out some piece of candy from nowhere or something like that. I don’t know, it’s such a small thing, but I remember it. And I wish… I wish he could have stayed alive longer to see me grow up.

“And Grandma, oh, there are so many things. She was so scary, but in a good way, you know? She made the best noodle soup, and I swear she knew every plant and animal under the sun.” Kainé looks up at the canopy that hangs above, searching for the sunlight that falls between the gaps. Her grandmother said that when she passed, she would become part of the wind, part of the trees, part of the very ground she stepped on. If Kainé listened hard enough, could she hear her voice whispering on the breeze? Could she find her smile among the gnarled bark of the trees? Could she still find traces of all of them, if she just looked hard enough?

“I wish they were still here, Halsin. I really do.”

A slightly heavier wistfulness creeps into her tone as she rises; if she’s aware of it, she’s pretending not to as she stretches out her arms.

“Well, their bones are nothing but dust resting beneath the trees now. No point in dwelling on it more than I need to.”

Halsin rises with her, but instead stands in front of her, making sure they’re face to face. She looks up at him, confused but still smiling. But it doesn’t quite reach her eyes, and he spots it, the tiniest stain against the resigned acceptance: guilt.

It’s a little startling, the way he can see his reflection in her. It’s strange to see it so much clearly when he’s looking at her, and he begins to realize perhaps their similarities extend far beyond a love of the natural world. So he repeats back to her the words she said to him, the ones he so desperately needed to hear.

“This may not be my place to say, so forgive me if I’m a bit out of line, but… Kainé, you are aware that what happened with your mother and your grandmother, it’s not your fault.”

She gives him an odd look. “Huh? Yes, of course I know that.”

“No, truly. You aren’t at fault for either of those incidents.”

She tries to laugh it off again, making a move to walk around him, but Halsin holds fast, blocking her. He carefully takes her shoulders so that they can see each other, so that she can see him.

“Kainé. It’s not your fault. None of it ever was.”

She tries to smile, tries to act confused, but it slips. She almost squirms, uncomfortable with the earnest, serious look Halsin gives her. This time, she sees the reflection.

It comes, softly but surely. Her vision blurs as her eyes grow misty; she tries to blink them away, tries to swallow all of it away, but it’s all in vain. Eventually she just lets them come, covering her mouth as she stares at the ground.

She sees her mother, bloody and broken in her lap, her small hands stained with her blood. She sees her grandmother’s corpse covered in a white sheet, having returned too late to say goodbye.

It’s not your fault.

She leans forward even without Halsin’s input, resting her forehead against him. Without hesitation he wraps his arms around her. She can take all the time she needs.

#baldur's gate 3 #halsinmance #halsin x tav #fictober23 #honestly there's nothing overtly shippy about this this could be platonic too if that's to your liking #yes i am a coward for not writing this the other way around #in my (weak) defense i think i would need more time to figure out how this works @ the big man

[plinkpimimi]

playing a sorcerer who is like soooo niceys but also a huge liar/in denial about the dark urge thing and im staying AWAY from astarion this time but he keeps approving of the excessive lying

#im trying to romance karlach!!! #it feels weird to romance her with a male tav though i wouldve made like a buff woman if i had planned on it #(i was gonna romance her in co op honor mode but my friend was like ... that's who i was gonna romance) #so now im swapping and will probably halsinmance in honor mode. sigh #← “sigh” as if he's not already my favorite #i romanced him with a druid though the first time so it doesnt feel as fun. im a monk/rogue in honor mode

[crowetesque]

Since the official launch of Baldur's Gate 3 is around the corner I thought I'd share test scribbles of my planned Halsinmance druid, Maeve. Aka the wolf wife.

#Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 #bg3 mc tav #bg3 mc Maeve #druid tav #wood elf tav #my art #sloppy scribbles #digital art #wolf wife #I hope the new character creation bits for full launch let me make something similar #if I knew how to mod I'd at least make her face paint #also REALLY wish That One Goblin Outfit had a morph for wood elves to equip it #I'm bored and rambling ok ilu bye #(and yes I wish I wanted swamp woman vibe a la DAO Morrigan-ok fr bye)

[lavellenchanted]

WIP Title Ask Meme

RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I was tagged by the delightful @wheremermaidsdwell 💖 I love this game and as always I have a bazillion WIP docs the number of which I've only added to since the last time I did this.

I'll crawl home

clerith your name

halsinmance

a hellforged heart

begin again (edwina's version)

steggy fake dating

glass hearted girl

tied together with a smile

steggy secret santa 2k23 (I can only apologise for the fact that I am still working on this)

nedcy

steggy persuasion

winds of the etherium

building anew

I'm tagging @emilykaldwen, @minim236, @roboticonography, @beachy--head, and of course my meme bff @theawkwardterrier, and any other writer friends who have WIPs and want to play! ✨

#tag game #wip title game

[veilkeeper]

Roz: What now? You've got what you wanted, after all. Halsin: I have. But perhaps there is more that I want... Anyway, once the curse is lifted, nature can take its course without me. I belong at your side. Roz: I'm glad to have you. Halsin: And I'm glad to be had - glad to be with you, I mean.

this fucking guy. simply does not know the meaning of the word "subtle."

esp since the alt dialogue is him saying "not what. who. but all in due course." hello???????

#anyway bottom halsin rights i guess #halsin #halsinmance #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 dialogue

[momochanners]

Panel from Hell update:

Commune with Nature Daddy indeed, whew OwO

EDIT: Oakfather, we get to see his bare ass OwO

(I'm watching Panel from Hell live rn, VOD will be available in Larian's youtube channel later)

#halsinmance #it was a short snippet in the trailer #but they went ultra bodice ripper mode with him #hehehehe

[jrmaxwell]

hi i've been in bg3 hell not my cleanest art but i was in a RUSH ok

#bg3 #halsin #art #fanart #halsinmance #githyanki #gith #tav #they're in love your honor #and so am i

[biscuitkazoo]

I am mentally jiggling my leg like a jonesing addict waiting for the full release of BG3.

#I am so ready to roll my wolf woman druid and see how the Halsinmance goes #wolf wife meet bear husband #🤌 #bg3 #awoo #about B

[melancthe]

also i seem to have stumbled onto the halsinmance, again by accident. larian. larian i beg you i have been TOLERANT of that guy at best i didn't flirt one time please QA this

#melancthe plays bg3

[crossdressingdeath]

Halsin: You truly are a feast for my eyes - nature outdid itself with you. Did you wish to speak?

Not to be soft about my romances again but hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. You walk up to Halsin and he's like "Gods you're gorgeous- oh, did you need something other than me admiring you?" and I love him for it. Halsin is so in love with you and I am here for it.

#bg3 #halsinmance #after the whole thing with mayrina and connor it's nice to have some soft and sweet romance content

[veilkeeper]

Astarion: I'm happy for you to have as much Halsin as you wish - but I do have one question. It's not because... you know... we haven't... in a while? Roz: Gods, I don't want you to think that for a moment. Astarion: I know I was being foolish. But thank you for saying it.

ah, the famous line that started allllll the controversy. honestly? i dont know why. he did exactly the right thing here: he had a little wiggle of insecurity, he asked about it, he was comforted, consent was given. the ONLY path where he seems sort of bothered moving forward is if you say option 5, and that's because.... well, the player basically confirms his suspicions in that case. any other option he seems totally fine.

i get that other people have their own hcs about this scene and they don't do the polymance because of it. and that's fine. but the text of the scene pretty clearly says astarion is more than okay with it, and there's no coercion.

#i myself ALSO have hcs about the polymance #specifically around astarion's feelings about it and how they might change/evolve as his quest moves forward #but like... idk polyamory is complicated and the idea that like #insecurity from one partner = an immediate end to the arrangement #is a pretty closeminded way to approach that sort of dynamic? idk #astarion #astarionmance #halsinmance #roz pt #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 dialogue