#he's still a problem nothing new

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[lobotomyladylives]

I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck

#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i #in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where #i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever #i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at #and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like #everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd . #just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up #not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until #i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg #the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was #i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different #well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl #i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool

[helielune]

i learned i could just copy paste my stuff to tumblr directly from my sketchbook app. like without the middleman of actually saving an image. but now it's transparent and nigh invisible on my phone on dark mode.

well. anyway crazy diamond boy says hi :) whether you can see him or not

#jjba #josuke higashikata #my art #kinda. ig this counts this time. i'll probably post this again w the whole sketch page later though so #diamond is unbreakable #jjba part 4 #and it WONT BE TRANSPARENT NEXT TIME #SO IF YOU SEE NOTHING NOW!! JUST YOU WAIT 🫵🫵🫵 #tbh i think i need a new tag just for scribbles but i just don't wanna be the guy to delineate exaclty how much rendering #makes something just a 'scribble' vs qualifying for my whole art tag #protip: avoid the problem by not making a sketch tag #i accidentally pasted this into a draft while trying to post smth else and decided Why Not #it's kinda cute. if you can see it. if i do say so myself #but i mean even if it's just a dark screen then it's still cute cuz its your reflection <3 #something something if you can see urself then ur saying hi to josuke and if u can see josuke then hes saying hi to u #and if ur on dark/dim mode and can see both then u win i suppose #my described art

[tortoisesshells]

BONUS ROUND

137/200.

#i like you because you have a conscience+ you don't like what you're doing+ the money really was for my silence+ so i started to drink OKAY! #welcome to collinsport maine! primary export is sardines; but close behind is monsters and monstrousness. #anyway. i do think it's really important to burke's characterization that even at the point where he gets to full picture: that roger; #bribed sam to stay quiet and not testify that roger was driving; and that sam's conscience has been killing him for ten years; #burke's first instinct is still revenge. i just think it's neat. can't unbite that rabid dog or something. #the news from collinsport #burke devlin #sam evans #dark shadows #i like that it was a collaborative effort; creating a monster. it's neat that burke's homecoming means that burke & everyone he used to kno #& trust in collinsport look at each other and realize what happened 10 years ago. roger set him up to take the fall. bought laura; #with prestige and the collins name. bought sam with a stupendous amount of money. even the people who smelled a rat (like bill); #stayed quiet out of loyalty to the collinses. and burke's decided to make it everyone's problem; even if they had nothing to do with it.

[factorialsotherfandoms]

(Happy Ending AU, character epilogue for Quackity. Warnings generally for his memory and mental health are both kinda fucked and fluctuate from day to day. Scene two is a bad day. Also he married Wilbur because I mean why not. He just doesn't always remember that they married... Tilin and Bobby are also back and has multiple pronouns because fuck it happy ending au give everyone their kids back)

(Three days in the life of Quackity)

Quackity wakes up, and it is a good day. He knows who he is and where he is, even if he is alone. It's harder to remember his husband - Wilbur is on tour, he knows that he knows that  - but he does and, as agreed, finds his wedding ring and puts it on. Wilbur wears his always. Quackity only wears his when he remembers their marriage, a signifier to let people know what to say.

He remembers Tilin, too, and where his son is - Roier is watching her, because wilbur is away and more often than not Quackity forgets simple things like feeding her, or that they exist. Everyone says it isn't his fault, that the Federation broke his brain.

Still feels like it, though.

He wants to see him, though, so he turns to the closet. The drawers are labelled with childish drawings of their contents, and Quackity pays it no heed as he finds what he needs. His favourite jacket is hardest to find, having been slung over a chair not put away, but he gets it eventually.

So he heads downstairs, finds the front door, and-

There's a checklist on the back of the door. He squints at it - a picture of clothes (he did that), a toothbrush (he doesn't want to, so he'll ignore it), and a sandwich.

Oh, breakfast. Right.

He turns back around, and finds the door to the kitchen. Inside he looks at the cupboards, each labelled with a photograph of its contents; he finds a bowl, and a spoon, and cereal. The fridge is a little overwhelming so he eats it dry, then doubles back to the door.

This time the only thing he cannot mentally tick off - either completed or knowingly ignored - is his keys. He grabs them from beside the door, and heads out.

Baghera is out in her garden. He waves and she waves back. Remembering which house is Roier's is a little harder, but there are not too many to try.

The first door he tries nobody answers. At the second is Roier, Bobby on his hip and the sound of Cellbit chasing Tilin and Richarlyson in the background.

"Hola," he yawns.

"Hola," Quackity replies. "Is Tilin here...?"

His kid must have heard him, because no sooner has he said the words than his little girl comes skidding around the corneer. He reaches out to him, and the child jumps right into his arms. Quackity holds them tight and swings him around, and wishes he could still learn things - like sign language to tall to his son, or at least how to read the books provided. People were always willing to read them for him, but it was never quite the same.

"Kids have the day off today," Cellbit appears with a freshly wrangled Richarlyson. "Did you want to come to the park with us?"

"Park?" He asks Tilin.

She nods, and so he nods too. He's a little thankful for it - he can't quite remember who else reads Spanish and would be willing to stay with the both of them.

Bobby waves around his sword, and Richarlyson pulls out a football. Tilin just hugs Quackity, and he grins.

"We should race!" He calls, already running off. "Come along!"

It's sunny, and they're laughing, and Quackity can almost forget that bad days exisf like this.

---

Quackity wakes up, and it is a bad day. His hands shake and his vision blurrs, and he does not know where he is. The walls are papered and his bed is comfortable and he knows without knowing that this place is not his.

Did they take him again? There's nothing white here, but that doesn't mean anything any more either. He scrambles off the bed, and darts about. Where to hude, where to hide, where to hide...

He hears footsteps on the staircase, and dives under the bed.

There's a knock on the door, then a pause, and then "Quackity? Are you up to seeing Tilin today? She wanted to show you her artwork."

"Who?" Quackity cough, and clears his throat. "Who are you?"

"It's Bad; Roier didn't want to leave the children alone, and Dapper is wih Ramon today."

"I..." the man says it like it means something. Quackity's head pulses, and he grips his hair tight. Little bloody pearls find their way to his nails, and still he cannot work it out. "I... What are you?!"

"... I see," Bad still does not come in. "I'll make you some breakfast! You can come and go as you like, just take a sword if you leave town."

None of the words make much sense; Quackity presses himself harder against the wall, and can do little more then hiss.

Stil, somehow, it scares the person away. He hears footsteps leave - and come back ten minutes later - and then leave again.

It's hours later when Quackoty dares test the door. It is, to his surprise, open. There's a plate of food, a glass of juice, and a jug of water infront of it. Nothing about it makes sense but... Quackity checks the coridoor - four doors, including this room, neatly carpetted and walls a nice dark green. Stairs leading down, nothing there.

Its confusing and Quackity hates it. Still he grabs everything and brings it back into his room.

He wants to escape, but the space is too big, too confusing; he eats instead, gathering strength for later.

Other people come by that day, never remembered and forgotten as soon as they are gone. Some try to talk - Quackity will not, fear in his throat - others just deliver more food.

He's confused, and he's stressed, and he's scared, and he doesn't understand anything. This isn't his home - he doesn't think he has a home, the only thing he remembers is drowning in a deep, dark abyss...

So he takes the offerings, but stays under the bed, waiting for the torture to start once again.

He falls asleep still waiting for the pain to come.

---

Quackity wakes up, and decides it must be a good day. There's a man in his bed - Wilbur, his lover - hogging the blankets and snoring. Quackity isn't quite sure where he is, but it's warm, and it's comfortable, so it must be okay.

And Wilbur is here! He cannot quiite remember why that is such good news, but he snuggles against his boyfriend anyway.

Wilbur groans, not really awake, but loops an arm over him. Quackity wriggles about too, getting comfortable and clinging to wilbur's shirt.

He might not be entirely sure what is going on, how he got here, or even who he is. But the room is warm and Wilbur is sleeping peacefully in his bed; it's a good day, and everything must have turned out okay in the end.

#qsmp fanfic #qsmp quackity #qsmp shipping #qsmp tilin #qsmp Roier #qsmp wilbur #Various others but I think those count as the most significant ones #Happy End AU #Quackity still has memory problems and can't read thanks to literal brain damage from the drowning #With time and therapy and an actual doctor he now has good days! But he also still has bad ones where he remembers nothing and nobody #His brain just also is not up to the sort of work learning sign or are learning reading would take hes unfortunately learnt #He can't even manage to learn which cupboard has cereal in just for good days new languages are a bit beyond him #But he's doing and trying everything he can #When Wilbur is on tour Tilin stays with Roier because is a child and needs an adult who remembers they exist reliably #It's not perfect but they make it work #And I'd hate myself if I took Quackitys memory problems entirely in an au which diverged after he gains them

[strwbrymlkshake]

I am trying so hard but it still isn't ENOUGH FOR YOU? DON'T YOU SEE HOW HARD I'VE BEEN TRYING?

#mine #normally i've been good about not being too upset over things #but oh fucking boy. okay. im glad people are scared of me #i hope they know that im the only right one in the whole world and they are wrong and are justified for fearing me and im glad my existence #will turn them off from sharing their wrong opinions. but oh FUCKING BOY? ive been sitting here the whole time like oh they hate me #oh they hate me so much they want me to die wahhh and im trying to do all the things they like because im for some reason fucking bothered #by their other opinions. even though the people themselves are useless trash #and oh. like i was suspecting it but its finally confirmed huh??? you all cant fucking stand the sight of me because im right? #you dont understand the truth?? they hated him because he told them the truth? thats me as fuck rn dude #i am literally gracing your eyes with the content i make and basically hand feeding you the correct opinions to have #and yet you still reject them! people just love being stupid unfortunately. i want to kill them all. #i would be so much nicer if you all just agreed with me on the objective truth but unfortunate you have to be stupid #i have graced you with so many GIFTS and protected you from my wrath so many times but you do not even give a fuck #WHY AM I CRYING. YOU ARE ALL SO USELESS WHY AM I CRYING!!! MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU DONT AGREE? #i guess im crying because they are all so stupid #so what im saying is its very unfortunate that everyone does not worship me and all my opinions and the world is very hard. yes. #friendship ended with self hatred now delusions of grandeur are my new best friend #even trhing to explain myself makes me sound like a shithead but i swear to fuck if you all just listened to me like youre supposed to #then absolutely nothing would ever go wrong! but you all had to be stupid on purpose! do you like being wrong? whats your problem #explaining all the reasons im RIGHT and yet i still feel bad for having the gall to do so. i shouldnt feel bad. im doing great. youre just #uncomfortable in the fact that YOURE wrong and making me have to accomodate you for your wrongness? tf is that about #okay lunatic rant over i have finished crying ☝️

[alasy]

advices are welcome because i ✨dont know anything anymore✨

#this friend of mine is the sweetest #we always got along even though we're very different #in the way that im a very closed off person i dont like social media and i will not reply to texts and its nothing personal its just me #he on the other hand is very talkative. loves showing affection and has like 3 different podcasts and he's friends with literally everyone #long story short he graduated and moved cities it's been 3 months #also i went through a very bad depressive episode and im still crawling out of it #he says im distant and its not because the lack of texts but because there isnt a way to communicate with me #i say im depressed and its disappearing is nothing new and he knows this. that all im asking is time #he says he's anxious and has abandonment issues and that his love language is words of affirmation #i say i was never a person that says much from the beginning and listed all other things ive done and sacrifice myself for him #he says he understands and he feels loved and cared for by me. still his love language is words of affirmation and he needs it #it feels like a demand even though he keeps saying it's not #he says there's nothing wrong with me being an overall absent person and that the problem is with him #his insecurities and words of affirmation is the way out of it #and i dont know what to do anymore #i want someone to tell me im in the wrong and that friends give in for each other #but everyone keeps saying this is not okay and i dont know i understand where he's coming from #i just .... im so tired #'ik you said you dont have energy but do you see where im coming from?' left a bad taste in my mouth #idk my heart is heavy im so exhausted and i wish he had read that damn text i sent him carefully and not rushed to replu #reply* #how can a person respect your boundaries and still cross them and then no it's actually you misunderstanding? #aita #personal

[the-wild-wolves-around-you]

working for 12+ hours today in front of a computer screen made me come to the realization that maybe murder IS warranted sometimes 🙃🤪

#this project has been the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE FOR MONTHS NOW #i told my boss MONTHS ago that there were all these issues with this project/employee #and he kept blowing me off and telling me to give the project/employee ‘one more week’ for weeks on end #so i slog through while doing my best and then he randomly gives me a deadline for the project thats like a little over a week away #and i asked if he was going to glance through the project to give me feedback/SEE THE FUCKING PROBLEMS #and he says ‘yeah ill get to it’ #then four days before the deadline he says ‘actually im not going to look at the project just pass it off to the final editing team’ #at this point i KNOW there are problems in the project but ive read it so many times its gibberish #so im like fine whatever maybe some new eyes will help #well the new eyes helped a LOT and spotted problems that hadnt occured to me #a bunch of problems #normally im very good at my job but i just needed a little guidance on this project and got NONE until the very end #so i got up at 5am today and worked on NOTHING but this godforsaken project for like 13 hours #AND IM STILL NOT DONE #but i had to stop working tonight bc my eyeballs where literally starting to flick back and forth #with literal stress induced nystagmus #so i gotta get up at 5am AGAIN tomorrow and prob get shitty anxiety filled sleep tonight 👍🏼 #FUCK i hate being an adult #personal

[cassandrattpd]

yesterday i had a panic attack at work and sobbed for over an hour at my desk in front of all of my coworkers bc i was frozen to the spot and couldn't like...move myself to a different area at the very least. and i embarrassed the fuck out of myself and now i'm afraid of the new job that i loved 🙃

#i just want to have all the answers and i don't and the more people try to reassure me i'm still just learning the more upset i get!!!! #then i couldnt even come home bc HE was trying to comfort me and tell me the same shit #and its like it doesmt matter that ill eventually get it!!!!!!!! i dont get it RIGHT NOW and right now is what matters if you want me to #start taking incoming calls from clients who want me to explain it TO THEM!!!! #like i understand the basics of our software but i dont understand basic accounting math AT. ALL. which is part of what our software does so #if i get a call about that even if i understand what the software is supposed to do in theory i dont understand the fucking math!!!!!!! #i just look at it and it means NOTHING to me it might as well just be scribbles on a wall #and it doesnt matter to a client if im new and their books are messed up all that matters is that im stupid and cant help them and then i #freeze and therein lies the problem #the expectation is that i 'learn' using real people's real problems as examples and emotionally i cant handle the weight of NOT FIXING #A PROBLEM I'M EXPECTED TO FIX #my trauma response relies heavily on 'if i just fix the problem ill be safe' so when i cant fix it i literally revert to fucking infancy #which makes me great at customer service bc I'll go to any lengths to help you!!!!!!! but i dont feel like i have the tools to do that yet #amd i dont know how to explain that to my boss without making me sound even more useless than he is probably already perceiving me after #what happened yesterday

[tj-crochets]

Hey y’all! Weird question time! What’s the difference between a muscle cramp, a muscle spasm, and a knot in a muscle? Like, what do they feel like when you experience them, how do you tell them apart*?  I’ve heard all three terms used (in addition to ones that I think are related but am unsure about like pulled muscle, strained muscle, overextended muscle) but I have no idea how to tell which one I am experiencing or how to differentiate between them, even though I’ve looked up definitions a few times over the years? The definitions were not helpful. It’s like acid reflux all over again (any time I asked doctors “how do you tell if you have acid reflux?” they’d just say “if you had it you’d know” without giving me any information to connect symptoms with a name) *my whole sodium georg thing means I am very prone to having my muscles hate me and have bad cramps and/or spasms if I don’t take enough electrolytes, but I suspect I am not using the correct words when describing them to doctors. Which is it when a small part of a muscle (like a 2″ ish patch of your thigh) starts twitching and keeps twitching for hours even if the muscle around it is totally still? 

#the person behind the yarn #medical mention #should I make a tag for questions like this? #like weird question time or something #I hate with medical things when I can look up the definition but it does absolutely nothing to connect it to how it feels to have the thing #like...thanks! now I know why it happens and what is technically happening #but what does it feel like??? #I have cardiac problems that are well under control and still alarm every single new doctor I go to #and no cardiologist ever thought to tell me that your heart beating irregular or skipping beats feels like a flutter in your chest #until I was like 'hey sometimes I get this weird flutter in my chest and then I can't help coughing but it doesn't feel like my lungs' #and he was like 'oh that's your heart skipping a beat and an involuntary cough to force it back into rhythm' #that's unrelated to the current question though lol #I'm having muscle...cramps? maybe? that suck #and I know I can make them better with a lot of water and electrolytes and some light stretching and time #but I am supposed to report the symptoms of electrolyte imbalance to my doctors and I am struggling with the vocabulary #oh for anyone new I am sodium georg because I have a probably-adrenal problem that means I process electrolytes Very Wrong #sodium most severely but also potassium and probably magnesiu #*magnesium. constantly low. I take meds for it and also salt pills

[flintbian]

Man, life is just depressing right now

#the one thing that was keeping me sane has gone away #i would always say 'yeah every medical professional has given up and there's nothing they can do. but at least i have my PTs' well... #my current PT's are the only ones that ever treated me like a person and they always kept trying...but they've given up too #basically Clare was like we haven't made any gains in over a year and your state keeps getting worse. nothing we do helps #so it may be time to consider stopping bc throwing away money isnt helpful either #and i argued that it's damage control and improves my quality of life and i have a progressive disease i never was going to get better #not to mention mentally it helps to know there's people in my corner and at least they haven't given up on me #but now they have and im feeling so very very alone and hopeless #it's not like this is a surprise right? ive always been beyond help and it's an incurable degenerative disease #but still getting to this point fucking sucks #and i went to the new neurologist and he had nothing but crazy experiments bc ive tried fucking everything #and then to top it off the only doctor i trusted from when i was a teenager for one specific med issue had also said the same #literally this week she was like there's nothing more. i cant help find someone else. sorry kid. wishing you the best #and Xmas is a depressing and challenging time too #and i have 400 med problems while trying to find work #the past few weeks have pulverized me and i havent stopped crying in days #so yeah. terribly terribly alone #and im trying not to go down any spirals and havent. my therapist was out this week. but im seriously questioning the point #at this point maybe i should give up too #im being stubborn bc no i cant go yet i havent seen the lights yet or read my new books #but honestly i havent been able to read partially bc im afraid if i do im losing the last tethers to earth #there's not much or anything to live for #it's at times like these you truly realize how much you dont want to die. you just wish you could live #but im broke and freezing and in pain and alone. this story's ending fucking sucks #my dbt is coming in clutch but seriously. is there a point anymore? #never got to live. sick since a kid. hell was always here #sorry for the depressing state of things ill go back to being insane in a moment #p

[songsaboutwater]

"Fill out the survey for this years sailing!"

"Will you be back again next year?"

"Are you going to prebook!?"

"Did you like the skateboarders!?"

#There's nothing like a festival with a visibility problem who still doesn't get that they have a visibility problem #Like I really do try to make the best of every fest but bote this year was just #Dude why y'all acting brand new #That's what it felt like and still does #Please everyone fucking bombard Gary with your marketing applications because dude needs all the help he can get

[miragemage]

everything is getting to be a little too much

#new self harm activities include exercising until failure and then doing it again and again until my arms are sore and my stomach hurts #i found out my mother has cancer #i found out my brother lost custody of my niece #we have been getting food from churches and food banks and it still isn't enough to make an actual meal #just bits and pieces of things. mostly junk food. #my boyfriend and i both work. he works as a news producer and i am a barista. #we still don't make enough to afford anything. #after our paychecks hit we are both left with maybe $50 to last us the next two weeks #nothing to buy groceries with #just enough to put gas in the car for two weeks #barely. #i have no energy to create anything. when i think about drawing or handicrafts i just feel exhausted #i'm tired #i have never been so suicidal. but even death seems pointless. #if i die i just make bigger problems and leave them for someone else to deal with #i leave my love alone and in agony and worse off then ever. #if i stay i work endlessly to make not enough money to even feed us. #i'm tired i'm so tired i just want to sleep forever.

[jamestkirkstittiesenjoyer]

so much of what my ex did and continues to do is just so psychologically fucked up it sounds fake

#confessed his love to his best friends wife while we were engaged and then made me believe i was crazy #had an affair and is still with his affair partner and now lives with her in the house we used to live in together SEVERAL YEARS AGO #continues to lie about his affair #talked to a good mutual friend behind my back and made her believe i was the problem and i was crazy for thinking he was cheating #hid thousands of dollars in debt which still continues to accumulate #'lost' his high paying job conveniently after he found out what he had to pay in spousal support #after 8 months i lawyered up and he finally got a new one that pays a hundred thousand dollars less #told me not to be rude when talking about his affair partner #wouldnt let me see the cat we'd raised from a kitten and now he's moved states #i still pay for kitty's insurance because i dont trust him not to cancel it #and it's clear that after all this he still thinks he's done nothing wrong #i'm exhausted #mentally and emotionally just drained

[gibbearish]

Congrats on sending that application!

THANK UUUUUU

#it was to a dominos and my partner is a gm in training at a different branch and i have over a year delivery driving experience #already and know Exactly How Low Their Standards Are so im not worried about getting it‚ mostly just that my brain will still be too mushy #to handle a job again #but i mean since it is just dominos and im only aiming for part time it hopefully shouldn't be too bad #and i do not care if they don't like me bc my resumes already pretty good as is i don't need a glowing review from dominos #esp bc i could just put my bf down as a dominos reference and theyd probably just Assume i worked for him and call him #instead of the store i actually worked at KWNDLABFKSBFJD #which is v good bc having seen a lot of what goes on behind the scenes on the manager side via my bf. i already know i am #going to cause problems LMAO #i have the Transgender Working In Very Liberal Area Right Next To Very Conservative Area Protection Aura #wherein the bosses here are So Very Scared of getting in trouble for bigotry and want to look sososososo woke. that i can get away #with being way more blunt abt when shit sucks lol #bosses don't really know what to do when The One Openly Transgender One directly calls out unfair expectations to their face #and to be clear i do mean liberal as in Liberal we're still very much in the North Idaho Splash Zone so like #open bigotry doesnt happen and the public will be on your side if it does. but boy do they know actually nothing about it #you know the type i mean kwbfksbfkd #like the best example i can think of is a couple ppl at my last job still she/her'd me long after i started passing as male #and me Being A Transgender™ had made the news rounds #and my other coworkers wouldnt correct them and would just he/him and they/them me back #which im fine w bc thats how my pronouns work is just. idk whatever you think‚ if you wanna she me you can just look dumb LMAO #but crucially 99% of my coworkers Didnt know thats how that worked‚ they just knew im A Transgender and look like a man #and that everyone else didn't use she/her for me anymore‚ so like an actually left place would rightly assume #they were doing it deliberately to be shitty and correct them‚ whereas here theyre just like. ah im sure they just havent noticed #since you went by she/her when you started here #and its like no i dont think the beard i grew halfway through working there went unnoticed actually #given that Thats When The Universal He Himming Started #im rambling again sorry for this word avalanche irt a simple congrats i got distracted JEBFKABFKSBFKDBFMD #anyways. tyvm it was stressful and i still dont want to do it but its out of my hands now so i have to follow through and at least give it #a try and i appreciate the encouragement‚ it rlly did make me feel a lot better just seeing the ask

[thistaleisabloodyone]

So I have discovered that my aunt's wake up alarm sound is a duck quacking - but I didn't figure that out until I started hearing it in my room when the only other potential source of sound was Bunny, my cat.

I may have thought that sound was Bunny struggling to breathe and I may have panicked a bit. But Bunny's fine, I found the source of the noise, and I went upstairs to double check my aunt's fine since her phone is down here and she is not. But I explained why I was upstairs and added "I thought it was Bunny struggling to breathe," to which my dad immediately went "Are you okay?" because he knows I have really bad anxiety about the cats having health issues. (I am - doing okay! Somewhat! I only kinda wanna cry a little)

#in my defense #we lost smokey in 2021 #zoe in 2022 #millie in 2023 #and bunny also gave us a lovely health scare when we brought her home #my sanity is barely hanging in here and if we lose another pet i'm losing my mind #also the dog i petsat for for years - shiloh - also passed away this year #which he wasn't expected to survive last holiday season #so he made it far longer than expected #but still #that is another dead pet i cared a lot for #so i'm just like - maybe a little anxious about our pets having health problems #thistale rambles #cn pet death #(nothing new #jackson bunny and shawnee are all fine)