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jimlingss · 6 years

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Love So Shallow [1]

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 (Finale)

Words: 11.4k

Genre: Fluff & Humour, Best Friend to Lover!Au, College!Au (sort of) Summary: There’s no doubt about it. You’ve always been thirsty. And *ahem, not just for water. Everyone and their mothers knows it and so does your best friend Taehyung. Though, rather than desperate, he’d like to say that you’re naturally bold. Sometimes, he wishes he could be that way too. Warnings: Themes of low self-esteem, hints of fat-shaming and very mean people. Swearing.

Cr.

The Ultimate Guide for the First Day of School:

Backpack

Pencil Case

Laptop

Pens and Pencils

A Notebook

Binoculars

That’s right. Binoculars are the absolute essential. If you forget everything else, you’ll still survive but without your trusty pair of binoculars - ten times zoom power, military and hunting purpose, night vision, made in Germany - you’ll be nothing.

“Oh man, he’s hot.” You press the lens to your eye sockets, licking your lips and salivating immediately. The guy you’re observing is at least six feet in height, a slight shadow around his mouth that exhibits how his testosterone levels are high enough to grow a beard, ab muscles defined through his tight shirt. “He’s smoking…ten-out-of-ten.”

As you’re snacking on your popcorn, hidden in the display bushes of your college grounds, your jaw drops.

The popcorn disgustingly rolls off your tongue into the dirt.

“Dammit. Please be a friend, please be a friend…” You watch as a pretty girl goes running up to the guy and as you’re muttering under your breath like it’s a prayer incantation, they lace their hands together. Okay.

Maybe they’re just overly affectionate friends...siblings, perhaps? Nope. Nope. They’re kissing.

You swing your head around to target another person. “Ooh, fresh meat.”

He’s a shorter kid, cute with bright eyes. You know that look all too well, the ‘I’m going to change the world and make the best out of my years here without procrastination!’. But you’re also aware that the moment they sit down in a lecture, the light will diminish. God forbid, midterms roll around. Finals will simply be the finishing attack.

But hey. If you’re around the kid, maybe you can save them.

“Impossible.” You swallow down your popcorn, almost falling into a coughing fit. Your spare fist pounds your chest as you watch the boy catch up to his friend. “You’re straight out of high school. There’s no way you’re dating…”

Dammit! They kissed each other! The world laughs at you. He has a boyfriend!

What the hell is up with public displays of affection today?! Were they trying to mock you?!

“Uh miss?” The campus security guard taps your shoulder and you crane your neck around. “You can’t be inside the bushes. They’re for display purposes.”

“Sorry.” You climb out, back cracking from crouching down for the past half-hour. The middle-aged man stares at you with a mix of horror, astonishment and slight repulsion. You don’t notice the other eyes that are on you as you brush off the leaves.

Whelp. You sling your binoculars around your neck. Might as well try some place else.

The tent is orange and brown amongst a field of different stands. There are beefy dudes in tank tops and mirror sunglasses, ripped muscles shredding through the fabric. To every chick that passes by, they slyly grin and let their eyes wander to their leaving asses. To any male that looks of any redeeming quality, they pass a flyer. In the huge bustle of crowds and of the hundreds of people promoting their own club or group, you’re standing in front of this one.

“If you think you’re a good fit, join Lambda Sigma Squared! We’re the best frat house on campus!” He hollers aloud, “We’ve got parties! We’ve got beer! We’ve got girls!”

You stride up to the man tall enough to make your neck tilt upwards to the sky. “Hi.”

The stranger looks down at you with a quirked eyebrow. “Hello?”

Your palm opens up. He looks at your hand. You nudge it forward. He doesn’t do anything. “Can I have a flyer, please?” You read his name tag, “Jungkook?”

He hums and slowly brings out the stack of paper in his arms. “Is this for you to give to someone else….?”

“Nope.” You wonder why there’s so much doubt in his voice. “It’s for me. I’d like to join!”

If there was one place ridden with testosterone and men, it was the resident frat house. You can already imagine waking up every single morning to a mansion full of glorious hunks. They’d worship you as their queen; a wake up call to cuties lying in your bed, nuzzling their hair into your neck and boys in the kitchen cooking steak, topless with only a thin apron to tease. It sounded like a Heaven ridden with sin….delicious sin. Your mouth waters.

Right as the paper is held between your fingertips, it’s snatched away. You look up to the college boy who has his brown hair slicked back with gel. “Uh, sorry. We don’t accept females.”

Your dreams are crushed.

“Well isn’t that unfair?” You laugh nervously, scrambling to find any arguments in order to win. There has to be some way. You rock back and forth on your feet, nibbling on your bottom lip. The so-called ‘Jungkook’ appears to be unfazed. “What about the people who don’t identify as one or the other? Isn’t it kind of discriminating to only strictly allow males? You should be all inclusive! I mean equality...right? I’ve heard of some fraternities that allow females...”

“Honey.” His fingers are squeezing the bridge of his nose and then he whips around to point at the banner. “We are a frat house. We have been for the past...I don’t know, fifty years? Our fraternity doesn’t allow females. If you want to join something, go to the female sorority. I’m sorry but I’m only handing out flyers. If there’s something you want to complain about, go contact the administration. I don’t make the rules.”

You part your lips, eyes watering up and a whimper leaves the back of your throat. “Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty, please?” You bat your lashes, “I’ll be good.”

“No.”

The morning hasn’t been going well for you. Okay. You’ll admit it but you’ve been shot down in your life numerous times before. You’re not going to give up so easily!

“If you’re fit and you love to run, join football!” An athletics major bellows with a smile and you march up. “Football- oh. Hello there. Are you lost? If you look for the people in blue, they can help you or give you a tour of the place.”

“I’m not a first-year.” You put your hands on your hips, attempting to appear tall and large. “Can I join football?”

If frat houses were out of the question then surely football would be a great second choice?

“Sorry. We’re a male team. No females.”

It’s not like it should be a surprise to you. You’ve already tried to join all these clubs and groups last year. But rejection after rejection makes your vigorous energy die down and you’re left in a moping puddle of your own sorrows. There’s only one thing that can cure you at a time like this...

You wander to the engineering faculty where the buildings are old and wearing down. The grounds are empty on orientation day when there aren’t any real lectures yet. Which means there aren’t any potential bachelors either. You continue to tread onwards anyways.

Sooner or later, after actively searching every corner, you come face to face with-

“Taehyung!”

As his expression blanches and he tries to make a run for it, you’ve already caught up. The honey brown haired boy sulks, slumping his shoulders. “How did you find me?”

You ignore him, gleaming irises pinned on the tall man beside him. “Who is this?! You’re handsome!” Taehyung’s friend with the blonde locks widens his eyes at your bluntness. You bat your eyelashes back and forth, standing on the tips of your toes. “Can I have your number?”

“No.” Taehyung answers for his friend. “He’s not free.”

“You’re not single? Aww…” Your pout returns and your best friend shakes his head with his infamous boxy grin.

“Namjoon’s too busy to be dating. He’s a new engineering friend by the way, met him by the vending machines.” Tae turns to the boy beside him who’s watching the two of you bicker back and forth in amusement. “Namjoon, this is Y/N. She’s a high school friend-”

You interrupt, “best friend!”

“Ah, debatable.”

“Is not!” You stamp your feet. “Kim Taehyung that is not debatable!”

“It is.” He argues back firmly and then juts his finger at the device slung around your neck. “Especially when you bring those binoculars with you. How thirsty can you even get?!”

You open your mouth to argue back but Taehyung turns to Namjoon. “You know what? I don’t know her after all.” The engineering major laughs it off, shaking your hand and smiling sheepishly. You marvel at the cuteness of his dimples and the messy ruffle of his hair.

“Are you sure you’re too busy to date?”

Namjoon scratches the back of his neck, “well…”

Taehyung shifts himself to stand in front of the dimpled boy, as if using his body as a shield. “Be gone dehydrated demon! Attempt to seduce elsewhere!” Your feet moves to kick him in the shin but Taehyung jumps back and he giggles. “Y/N!” He whines out your name childishly with a mock pout and you sob back at him. “You’re going to run off all my friends! Stopppp it!”

“You were going to run them off anyways.” You whine back to him, mimicking his pout and ugly expression. “Plus, you don’t need anyone else other than me. Let’s be honest here, I’m the bestest friend you could have.”

He pretends to cry into his sleeve. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“To deserve someone so beautiful and great and amazing?”

“Someone so shabby and shameless and horrible.” He corrects and then mischievously grins again. With his face hidden by the sleeve of his sweater, you only see the square shape of his mouth.

Before Namjoon can be left in the dust to observe the both of your antics and Taehyung completely forgets about his trip to the library to pick up his textbooks, a certain someone clears their throat behind you. The booming ‘ahem’ causes the pair of you to stop fake sobbing to turn around.

Taehyung’s eyes immediately light up. “Somi!” He leans over to his new friend. “That’s my other best friend, from high school as well-”

“What are you doing here, Miss Y/N?!” Her screeching voice causes you to visibly jump. You’re folding into yourself as if to disappear. “I turn around for one second and you’re gone! Are you harassing people still? Don’t you know Taehyung has better things to do than to deal with your sorry ass? You act like you’re drunk when you’re sober!”

“I can explain!” You sling your binoculars behind you but that doesn’t deter Somi from dropping her crossed arms to march over to you, ankle boots clanking on the cement. You have to admit she looks pretty great in her brown leather jacket and skinny jeans. “This isn’t what it looks like! Taehyung was the one who told me I should come over here!”

“I did not.”

You whip your head back. “Trader.”

Taehyung shrugs with a playful smile. Somi takes the collar of your shirt and begins to literally drag you away. Namjoon waves to you in slight bewilderment. “This is not fair!”

Your wail ricochets throughout the entire campus, causing the birds in the trees to fly into the sky, startled at your voice. “This is not fairrrrr!”

You didn’t have a lot in your life - never gifted in brains, beauty or strength. In elementary, you were called cling wrap since you attached to people and suffocated them even if they hated you. You’ve overheard teachers call you annoying behind your back, you’ve never made it to the top twenty list of smart kids in your class, never won at athletics either. But if there was one thing you had...it was blind will and determination.

“Girls! Line up!”

You listened to the frat boy’s advice, seeking out a sisterhood sorority and wow...things were not easy. They had taken one look at you and made a face of disgust. Everyone was ridiculously pretty here. They had long, clean legs and silky hair. They wore small dresses with high slits, thongs that you couldn’t even fit in, tiny bikinis that would only show off your rolls and how much you loved to eat. The women exuded confidence. All of them looked like they walked straight out of Forbes or Vogue magazine. You’d hit up any of these women in a heartbeat if given the opportunity.

In comparison, you are a pansy in the field of roses. But your enthusiasm won.

No matter what challenge, mission or the type of hazing they did, you never deterred. When the sorority sisters forced the newcomers to eat McDonald’s Big Macs and super sized chocolate bars, most whined about the potential weight gain and some threw up, a few even dropped out but you ate it all. You ate it with vigorous energy, secretly ecstatic since it’s free food. Sure, they mocked you as you stuffed your face and the word ‘fat’ was tossed around but whatever….if you became easily riled up by a few syllables from strangers, you’d be living a very difficult life.

It’s easier to live when you’re shameless.

The sisters forced you into the freezing showers in the middle of the night and you embraced the freshness while the others screamed. When they made you take out their garbage for them, you did it happily. You scrubbed the floors with a toothbrush, let them cut an inch of your hair off, let them throw food at you. They made you drink vodka and tequila but you had eaten a huge meal beforehand and secretly snuck in water between the shots. It’s the only reason why you didn’t become a huge drunken mess. On the coffee runs, you were the first to come back, having ran across campus with a huge brown stain on your shirt from bumping into someone. But you delivered it in record time and with a grin.

No matter what, the sisters had to acknowledge your eagerness.

“This is going to be one of the final missions!” The leader paces back and forth in front of the small group. The hundred candidates has dwindled down to ten people. “We’re going to be having dinner here in two nights. Bring each of your boyfriends. Fairly simple, right?”

The word ricochettes in the hollows of your brain. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. It ridicules you, laughing in your face. It echoes, reverberating in your ears. It plays over and over again. Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend.

“What?”

“Is there a problem, number five?” Her eyes pin harshly onto you and you quickly shake your head. She smirks, continuing to strut around. “Here at Rho Alpha Beta, we are not whores who prostitute ourselves. We are committed, young women.” The leader spits her venomous words sharply and then giggles. “Bring your boyfriends, girls.”

NOOOOOO.

This is your worst nightmare. Of all the things they could’ve made you done….bring a boyfriend is literally impossible for you. You joined the sorority in order to find guys! Now what were you going to do?

“Difficult challenge, isn’t it?” You laugh awkwardly next to the gorgeous brunette beside you.

“Really?” She frowns. “I think this is a lot easier than when they made us stand for the entire night without letting us use the bathroom.”

You’re royally screwed.

“Are my eyes lying to me or is it my best friend that I’m suddenly seeing?” Taehyung blinks expressionlessly and then brushes past you. You whine out, stamping your feet and he finally stops walking down the hallway, turning around with a grin. “What?”

“Don’t ignore me!”

“I think it’s my head playing tricks on me.” He lays the back of his hand on his forehead and pretends to faint, backside dramatically hitting against the wall. “The Y/N that I used to know would never be such a hypocrite. She disappears for three weeks without a word. Then she comes back and demands not to be ignored when she’s been ignoring her dearest friend that would sacrifice his entire life for her.”

“Oh, quit it.” You throw your arm over his neck, locking him in a choke hold. Taehyung grips your arm and half-laughs, half-screams. The engineering students passing by rapidly shoot the two of you an odd look while they hasten their steps. “You suddenly want to be my best friend after you said you didn’t know me?!”

“Okay, okay. I do know you, okay?” He hits your arm and you begin to let him go. “I know that you had a bladder issue and pissed in your bed every night up until grade six!”

“Kim Taehyung.” You step forward as he takes a stride backwards, laughing his head off. A bunch of people are staring. “Shut up!”

“And that you still piss yourself when you have a nightmare!”

His scream pounds up against the ceilings for all to hear and you groan, kicking him in the knee and hearing him let out an ‘ow’. “I told you that once! How do you even remember?”

Tae has a rectangular shaped grin as he shrugs. “How could I forget?”

“Ugh! You are ridiculous. You know what?! Forget it! Pretend I wasn’t even here.”

“Y/N.” He complains when you begin to walk away and Taehyung holds you back. You scoff but yield to him nonetheless as the pair of you begin to walk out of the building together. “So what’s made you so busy that you can’t even spend time with your two dearest friends? You know Somi’s pissed, right? She told me not to pick up your calls or answer your texts.”

On the subject matter, you evade for now. “I’ve been busy….”

“With the sorority?” He takes a glimpse of your face and grimaces. “Why are you even joining? It’s not like you to be those…”

“Pretty girls? Are you saying I’m not good enough to join them?”

Taehyung sighs. “I was going to say shallow idiots.”

“That’s a stereotype. Some of them are really nice girls.”

“But they’ve been treating you okay?”

“Yeah I guess.” You clear your throat. “I only have a few things left to do before I can get officially accepted and do the pledge and all that. How’s classes been going for you?”

“It’s so painful for me to have to be such a skilled academic.” He laments with a smile. “Engineering takes up all of my time, so many math classes, so much thinking involved. My head is always full of numbers and complicated equations that you would never understand.”

Usually you’d scoff, maybe jab at him but you only answer with a- “nice”.

“So, what’s your real reason for looking for me?”

“Hey!” You snap back into it. “You’re my friend. Can’t I hang out with you without being suspected of other intentions?! Why does this feel like a witch hunt! How dare you accuse me of such thing?!”

“Y/N…” He gives you that look and you exhale in exasperation.

“Okay. Hear me out, alright?” You prepare yourself and the both of you stop under a shade of a tree. “The sisterhood sorority is doing this thing in two nights and it’s one of the last things I need to do before getting accepted. It’s really, really important to me and you’re my best friend. You wouldn’t want to disappoint me, right?”

He looks at you in growing suspicion, “What is it?”

“They want me to bring my boyfriend to the dinner.”

Taehyung laughs. He laughs and he laughs. Your limbs fall to your side and you stare at him unimpressed as he grabs a hold of his stomach. Tears fill Taehyung’s eyes and he still continues to laugh like he’s watched the best comedy of his life. “Tha-that’s impossible!” He tries to catch his breath, hyperventilating. “You’ve never had a boyfriend in your entire life!”

Your best friend spits out the last word before he’s thrown back into absolute hysterics. He howls, roars and snorts. At some point he says ‘stop it’ since his stomach is hurting so bad. But you’re doing nothing, staring at him with a sigh leaving your mouth.

“Yeah. I know.”

“Oh god.” He wipes his eyes and stands up straight, the last laughs leaving his throat. “What are you going to do?”

You stare at him. He stares at you. Your sparkling irises gazes into his darkening ones.

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Taehyung cries out, “I just can’t!”

“Taehyungggg.” You moan out the last syllable, drawing it for an extended time while pouting. His lips have fallen to the side, no longer laughing or joking around with you. You have a feeling that he won’t budge on this matter.

“Noooo…” He pulls out the last syllable like you, mimicking your childishness.

“Whyyy?”

“Because I don’t even want to be a fake boyfriend to you.” He thinks about it and then scrunches up his face, flailing his hands like it’s infested with germs. “The thought is so ewwwukkkkkk. Yuck! That’s like being a fake boyfriend to my sister!”

“You don’t even have a sister.” You have to admit the thought of being with Taehyung more than platonically is disgusting. It’s pretty gross but you’re in a desperate situation. “C’mon Taetae, it’s only for one night, for a few hours.”

He shakes his head. “Ask someone else, bro.”

“You know I have no one else.”

“No! Just...no.” He doesn’t look at you to make sure you won’t guilt trip him into it. “I’ve put up with enough of your antics over the years, okay? I’ve done a lot. Find someone else, Y/N.”

Before you can penetrate through the barriers, Taehyung takes off running in the opposite direction. You scream after him, chasing him across the courtyard before his long legs out run you. “Taehyung-! You bast….ard! I hate you!”

You show up like a sad puppy on her doorstep.

She takes one look at you and slams the door. But luckily you catch it, intruding into her apartment. “Somi. I-”

“Save it.” The girl in short blonde hair and pouty pink lips crosses her arms. “I already heard it all from Taehyung.”

You gasp, tearing off your shoes to march into the living room. “I knew it! I knew it! So you two do have a group chat without me!”

“I already know what you’re going to ask me.” Somi cuts to the chase with a pointed look. “No.”

Your body slumps down to the floor and you cry to the wooden floorboards. “Why?”

“You know I’m trying to go out with Suran.” She sits down on the floor with you, trying to appease you like you’re a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. “If she catches wind that I’m going out with you...fake or not...it won’t look good. Things are...delicate….”

You sniffle, “You fucked up, didn’t you?”

Somi smiles slightly. “I may or may not have accidentally ran into my psychotic ex on our last date.”

“Oh my god. The one that keyed your car?”

“Yep.” Somi shudders and shakes her head. “I’m sorry, pumpkin. Have you tried to ask someone else out? I mean...there’s plenty of people on campus and I’m sure there’s someone nice who would be willing to help y-”

“There’s no one!”

“Why does the sorority even matter?” Her eye twitches and the anger surges when she realizes everything that’s coming out of her mouth is right. “I’ve heard about the things they made you do and it sounds horrific. The people in there don’t give any shits about you! They’re bitches with shallow exteriors. They talk trash girls that are different from them and then turn around to talk about each other. It’s a backstabbing-bitch battlefield! Why are you doing this to yourself? You don’t need them or their validation.”

“I just...want to, okay?”

It’s true that they might treat you badly. Okay. Not might. They do.

You’ve been feeling like a modern day servant or slave. You’ve also been designated as the permanent one to go on their coffee runs. But you’re used to being treated badly. It doesn’t hurt that much. Plus, you’re too determined to give up.

Taehyung lugs his bag full of textbooks back to his dormitory, dragging his feet with him. He had gone for a three hour study session in the library, tackled a handful of assignments and readings, punching in page-long equations into his calculator. It’s only been less than a month into the school year. He has no idea how he’ll survive. All he wishes is to get a hot steaming shower and collapse on his bed for the next ten hours.

But as he opens the door, he screeches. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

You’re scrolling through his laptop, perched on top of his ruffled sheets. Your eyes don’t stray away from the screen and your mouth casually murmurs out, “came through the window.”

Taehyung quickly shuts the door before someone can catch a girl in his room. It would be even worse if the RA saw. He locks it for good measure and then skedaddles over to close the window that’s letting in a chilling breeze. “Y/N….”

“I’m on this site…” You squint your eyes and he flickers on his lamp, allowing the glow to provide more luminescence. “It’s called Rent-A-Boyfriend but it’s so...expensive.” You sob lightly. As a poor college student that’s completely broke, there’s no way you can afford a luxury like this.

Never mind eating instant ramen for the rest of your life, you would have to rely on photosynthesis and gaining nutrients from the polluted air.

Taehyung scoffs and he begins to unpack his belongings, throwing his things on his desk and not paying attention to you. “If I went to the corner street, do you think anyone would want me?”

“They’d probably throw you into their truck and drive to some abandoned warehouse. Then, they’d sell you off to some foreign country.” He mumbles, agonizing about his future study sessions as he skims his notes. Perhaps he’ll consult Namjoon who seems to be doing well.

“If I hold up a sign downtown, do you think anyone would help me?” You exhale, giving up on the site and escort pages you were looking at. You close the laptop, rolling on your stomach to look at your friend.

“No. The police might show up since you’d be loitering.”

You drop your face into his pillow, the onslaught of his cologne and clean shampoo filling your senses. “What do I do?!” Your voice is muffled but your cry is all too clear.

Taehyung finally twists around to look at you. He sighs for a long time. Ten agonizing seconds pass. “Fine.”

“What?!” You shoot right up and your eyes glimmer. “Really?!”

“You better be grateful that I’m such a good best friend and that I won’t dump your sorry ass even though Somi says I should.” Taehyung’s certain that he’ll regret this decision. But for now, you’re looking up at him like he’s lifted the sun back up and it makes him feel a bit better. “I’ll do it with the cost of five meals.”

“Three.”

“Six.”

Your jaw drops, “Hey! You raised it!”

“Keep talking and I’ll make it ten.” Taehyung grins and stretches out his aching muscles. He plops down beside your body and you pretend to zip up your lips.

Taehyung threatens to go eat the most expensive steak at the most expensive restaurant. It’s only after you whine to him that he tells you to pay for his convenience store food. Instead of showering and hitting the sack like he had intended to do, he’s out at midnight, sitting outside on a dingy bench with steaming hot instant noodles, eating with you.

It’s not such a horrible alternative.

The sorority is completely white with pillars on either side, a dim glow appearing from inside. At the brown double doors, it looks like a humongous palace and you gulp nervously. Your fingers pull on the modest blue dress you have and you look over at Taehyung.

He’s pulled out his fancy clothes, Gucci-whatever and you still don’t know he could afford it with his old part-time job of working at the diner. His long sleeved shirt is tucked into his pants, paired with a belt. You can admit when Taehyung cleans up and he doesn’t look like a stressed out college student half dying and burning in hell, he looks pretty damn good.

“Do whatever you need to do to prepare yourself.”

“Okay. I’m not standing next to Y/N.” He shuts his eyes and braces himself, murmuring under his breath. “This is Rachel Mcadams. I’m standing next to Rachel Mcadams. I’m going on a date with Rachel Mcadams. Okay….okay….” There’s an extended moment of silence. “Alright!”

You jump in a startled response when he suddenly grabs your hand and holds it.

Taehyung smiles and knocks on the door once. It swings open and one of the girls snarl at your appearance. “Oh. It’s number five. Did you bring your boyfriend?” The girl you recognize as Sandra swings her head over and then she does a double take. Her mouth drops and she openly ogles your best friend, scanning him up and down. “I- uh..this-”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Kim Taehyung.” He tips his head to the side, wearing a smirk and using his infamous charms to shake her hand. The girl gasps and wheezes. You hold back from rolling your eyes. “You’re a very beautiful lady. Thank you for opening the door for us.”

She makes a strangled noise. “Come in.”

As you enter, he leans over and angrily whispers to you. “Do they really call you by a number?” You hum, nudging him to be quiet as you turn the corner into the massive dining room.

“N-number five is here. I-I mean...”

“Y/N.” You correct when she turns around and stares at Taehyung some more.

“Y/N’s here.” She mutters and snaps out of it, shaking her head to sit down at the table. It’s then that it dawns on you that you were the last one to show up, about twenty two people seated around in total, six of them being sorority sisters There aren’t any more chairs and it occurs to you that two of the ten candidates never showed up.

Everyone is staring at Taehyung. “And..who is this?”

“Hello, my name is Kim Taehyung. It’s nice to meet all you pretty women.” He pulls out the chair for you and gestures you into it. You sit down and the leader nods her head slowly, perhaps in suspicion that you managed to reel in such a beautiful boy that looks like he was carved from angel tears.

“We were just beginning to eat. But now that everyone’s here, feel free to dig in.”

The hired waiters put down the plates and you begin to eat in small, delicate bites. Everyone around the table takes turns to introduce themselves, their majors and their relationship details. Some males appear highly uncomfortable and a few are basking in the attention, even going as far as to let their eyes wander to the pushed up breasts of the sorority sisters.

The leader smirks, going as far as to lean over the table more. The girlfriend of the guy has obviously realized what’s happening but she’s unable to say anything, trapped in utter humiliation.

Taehyung manages to keep his wits and realizes what the girls are trying to do. When you met the kid years ago, he was an awkward and introverted fellow. You wonder how he made such a change and how he could even enchant babies at the supermarket with one killer look.

“I met Y/N in high school and I don’t know but we’ve always had a connection.” He throws his arm over you and pulls you close to him. “Isn’t that right?”

You laugh lightly. “I was the one who approached him and told him to be my friend.” What you’re saying is the most truthful thing you’ve done all evening and night. “He attracted so many people and I thought it would be easier to make friends if I was around him.”

“Who knew we’d become the best of friends and gradually fall in love…”

Taehyung’s teeth are gritted and your own fists are clenched in your lap. You don’t have telepathic abilities but one glimpse of him is all it takes for you to know that he’s doing the exact same thing you are - cringing and screaming in your heads. “She helped me break out of my shell and loved me even when I had long limbs and so much acne.”

“You, having acne?” Krystal is a gorgeous sister with long, black hair and milky skin. Her aura has been that of an ice queen, cold and calculating, intimidating. She’s dazzling and reminds you of a porcelain doll.

Krystal bats Taehyung playfully on his shoulder and her sudden smile makes you blink twice. “I can’t imagine. But the two of you are so cute. High school sweethearts are always adorable.”

“Aren’t we?”

Taehyung gazes into your eyes, a millimeter away. “We are.” The guy has the audacity to nuzzle into you, rubbing his nose against yours. You hold in your vomit. Taehyung’s smile is tense.

Your best friend pulls away and pecks your forehead in another form of pda. You push him away, a bit harshly and he nearly falls out of his chair. “Oh, stop it, you.”

The entire table had to be witness to your cringey actions but at least they seem to believe you’re in a legitimate relationship now. The leader decides to move on, interrogating other couples.

“Do you both go on a lot of dates to fast food places?” The sorority head asks two of them and the girl fidgets in discomfort. Her boyfriend faintly grazes his rounded stomach and grimaces.

“You should try going on an exercise date. Running is really healthy.” The leader tips her head and smiles. “You two are actually the perfect pair. You should try losing weight together.”

You're becoming more and more irritated by the second but the chance to speak up is stolen by your best friend. “Isn't that a bit rude?” Taehyung swoops in, saving the couple and surprising you. The sisters seem even more shocked, appalled that he uttered a word and intervened. “I'm sorry but it's a bit difficult for me to sit here and watch.”

“I-”

“Such a pretty person shouldn't say such ugly words.” He leans his chin in his propped hand, attention solely on the flushing girl. “You don't want to be a bad girl now, do you? Only good girls get rewarded...in life, that is.”

The leader clears her throats with a quiet ‘alright’, moving on and the couple smile at him in thankfulness. You admire your friend for being able to muster the courage that you lack.

As you listen and munch on your salad, you notice some movement underneath the table. Taehyung is completely stiff, blushing from his chin to the top of his hairline. It’s a stark contrast from before and his cool facade has shattered. He discreetly elbows you as if to grab your attention but you can already see it.

Krystal is playing footsies underneath the table with Taehyung, caressing her bare leg against his. Her hand is also on his thigh, moving up and up. You instantly dart your pupils elsewhere.

“Uh-”

Before anything can be said, the leader stands up from the table and she smiles. “Ladies, could we have a brief meeting in the other room? Everyone is required to come. Men, feel free to continue.”

Krystal detaches from him and Taehyung releases a sigh of relief, eyeing you closely as you firmly nod, leaving the room. The sorority sisters surround the eight of you and they strangely appear friendly.

“Good job.” The redhead pats one of the candidates on the shoulder. “You all did a fantastic job.”

Your companions relieve themselves, including you. But then the brunette steps forward with the click of her heel. “There's one last obstacle before all of you can officially be part of the group.”

The leader smirks, pacing in front of the scared little lambs. “In this sorority, we are all sisters. Sisters meaning we share everything. That's how we build an everlasting bond. But boys always get in the way. They break up friendships and cause all sorts of drama. Hence, to prove the rule of sisters before any misters, you will watch us sleep with each of your boyfriends.”

The redhead giggles, “sharing is caring.”

Krystal and a few of the sorority sisters looked as shocked as the candidates. A girl beside you murmurs that she might be sick. They shiver and look to the floor, contemplating their morals while some look like they’re up for the challenge. You feel a muscle in your cheek jerk.

“I’m sorry.” You cough out. “I don’t think I can do this.”

The leader quirks her brow at you and the brunette seems to be disappointed she can’t lay a hand on your supposed ‘boyfriend’. “Excuse me?”

“I don’t think this sorority is right for me.”

You can live shamelessly and boldly to do what you want. You can self-sacrifice and allow yourself to be humiliated. But you will never let Taehyung be harmed in such a way.

“D-do you know what this means?!” The leader stammers out, appalled at your rejection.

“Yes.” Everything you worked so hard for will go to waste. “I’m sorry.”

You bow your head as you move past them out of the room. They can scream, throw objects at you, haze you but you have to let Taehyung walk out of this place with his dignity. You can only hope the other candidates will have enough respect for themselves and their significant others as well.

“What’s wrong?” Your dear best friend blinks up at you in bewilderment. The other eight males look at you and you shake your head. “Is there something wrong?”

“No, not really.” You grab onto his wrist pulling him up. Taehyung drops his scone and wipes his fingers on the napkin. “Let’s go home.”

“O-okay…”

The both of you lead yourselves outside, without turning back once but he stops you on their lawn. Taehyung laughs nervously at your serious expression. “No, seriously...what happened? Why did we leave? I thought this was important to you…”

You shrug. “I just came to my senses. They never treated me right and it feels wrong to be in there.”

“That’s it?” He looks at you in suspicion, studying your face. “There’s nothing more?”

“Nope.”

“Okay. Well, I’m glad.” He begins to walk with you, hands buried within his pockets. Tae grins, “that place is deranged. They’re really rude and it’s insane how long you stayed there for...”

“Yeah. They are.” There’s a long silence where the luminesces of the street lamps cascades down their glow. You bask in the peacefulness of the street. “Thanks.”

His eyebrow lifts. “What for?”

“I don’t know. For coming with me….putting up with them...being my friend.”

You know it’s the right thing to do. There was no doubt that you should leave such a toxic place behind but you can’t help feeling empty. Everything you’ve been working so hard towards, your goal and your backbreaking labour for the past three weeks has disappeared in front of your very eyes. You realize how difficult it is to let go of something that seems so important in the moment. But you know you’ll thank yourself later for it.

Despite feeling empty, you could be alone right now to dwell in your sorrows but you’re not. Taehyung’s still here with you.

“Okay. Now there must be something wrong with you.”

You match Taehyung’s humongous grin, laughing and bumping into him purposely. “Why?! I can’t thank you without being suspected of something?! Wow, what a friend!”

“Is there someone recording?” He tries to search for a hidden camera around. “Is this going to be a prank put on youtube? I don’t want to go viral. Someone’s hiding in these bushes, aren’t they?!” He screams at the plant, shooting out his hands in a martial arts position. “Ahh!”

You laugh, the misery slowly but surely evaporating from your heavy chest. “No one’s hiding in the bush, idiot. Maybe your brain. Did you forget to bring it with you again?!”

“Rude.” He snaps playfully, “you just thanked me for being your friend and now you’re insulting me. What kind of contradictions are you throwing out there, girl?”

You giggle but before you can retort and banter along with him, there are huffs and puffs behind you. When you turn, you find Krystal having dashed four blocks to catch up. The beautiful girl with long hair is bending over with her hands on her knees, catching her breath. “H..ey…”

There’s a look of exchange between you and Taehyung. He decides to go on ahead to allow some privacy and you stride up to the sorority female. “Are you okay?”

“I-...” She breathes in and sputters, pounding her chest. “I wanted to apologize. I didn’t know that they were going to do that. It went too far...I’m sorry. For everything actually...the girls, they can be really nice but they-”

“It’s okay.”

You’re fully aware that Krystal is a decent girl. She was never cruel to you like the other members. You also knew that she was intelligent and a fashion design major, ridiculously gorgeous and better than you can ever be. “I saw what you were doing to Taehyung.”

“I-” Her face transforms into a shade of scarlet. “I’m sorry. It was inappropriate of me.” She rushes to explain, “he’s your boyfriend and I-”

“Actually, he’s not. I don’t have a boyfriend.” You admit to the girl. “He’s just a friend who was helping me out.”

You shouldn’t stand in the way of Taehyung’s relationships. The best thing you can do is be a good friend, a good wingwoman and not cockblock him like you’ve done a handful of times before. He’s your dear friend that you want to treat well.

“Tae’s a really good guy so if you’re interested and serious about him, you should totally go for it.”

Krystal registers your approval and she nods with a bright smile. “Okay. Thanks, Y/N.”

“No problem.”

“You’re a really good person.” Krystal tucks a strand of her midnight hair behind her ear, lips puckered in a rosy shade. She looks like a painting. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone.”

Your head tilts to the starless sky. “Hopefully.”

The world is punishing you.

“Fifth ramen of the day! Let’s go!” You fist pump the air in an attempt to make yourself feel better as you stir up the cup noodle on your dingy cardboard box-makeshift-table, sitting on the stool you bought at the dollar store. “I’m not sick of it at all!”

You might be going crazy.

After you left the sorority, you tried to enter the dormitory but you were late to the application process and all their rooms were full. You talked to Somi about it and you couch surfed for a week at her place but you didn’t want to intrude on her and her evil roommate - who you swear has it out for you. The evil roommate threw out your food in the fridge and only said ‘oops’ when you asked her about it and your clothes were on the floor all the time for no reason.

There was no other choice but to move out on your own to some poor apartment that was as small as a closet with walls that were peeling, cabinets that came right off if you tried to open them and stained, coarse carpet that you don’t even want to know the story behind. You could’ve tried to move back with your dad but that’s a four hour transportation process, meaning eight hours a day and you would get endless questions from him. You’d be better off sleeping at the train station on a bench.

The apartment isn’t that bad…..it’s pretty close to your school at least...

“Are you a law student?” Someone at the buffet table looks at you.

“O-of course I am!” You laugh nervously. “I-I’m in your Criminal Law 101 class..your name is…”

“Seokjin.” He frowns and then smiles, piling food onto his plate like you are. “Strange. I’m sorry. I just thought I hadn’t seen you around before. What’s your name?”

“Somi.”

You hurry back to your table, sitting at the very back to stuff your face and grumbling stomach. For the past two weeks since you’ve moved into the place, you’ve been eating so meagerly that you discovered another solution - the holy grail that is conventions.

There were a ton of networking events for all sorts of majors and graduate students. The trick was to slip in, pretend you belong there and act casually. You’d listen in on the presenters trying to inspire future workers and then, you could completely raid the tables, stuff your face to your heart’s content. They often fed you better than your own mother did.

Sometimes, you’d get dragged out.

But six out of ten times, no one really noticed anything.

“You’ve been doing what now?!” Somi groans and facepalms when you reveal what you’ve been up to. “Oh, Y/N.”

Instead of being upset and telling you off, your best friend sympathizes with you as she looks around the tiny place. She’s sitting on the second stool, knees gathered together. At the sound of scattering in the corner, you ease her by telling her it’s not a cockroach.

Occasionally it’s better to lie than to tell the truth.

“You should’ve moved in with me when I asked you to. Now I can’t kick out my nutty roommate. Her lease is all the way to next year and my own is the same.” Somi exhales, “as much as I’d like to be poor together with you, I can’t. There is some old furniture we have though..if you want.”

Your eyes light up and you nod enthusiastically.

Well...your own life might be falling by the seams but other people seemed to be having a better time than you are, namely Taehyung. You’ve seen him around with Krystal lately and you tried not to intrude, only texting your friend to catch up with him. The sorority girl’s already making her move and you applaud her for it.

“You’re really so cute, do you know that Tae?” Her hands are on the boy’s thighs, stroking up and down at an excruciating pace. “You’re handsome too and so...thick.”

Taehyung gulps, scanning the library premise but when he’s in the corner and certain things are happening underneath the table, no one seems to notice at all. The only person that calls him ‘Tae’ is you or Somi - you’re the one who made up the nickname for him anyways. It sounds weird to have someone else call him that.

“D-don’t you have a boyfriend?” He sweats from his hairline, cheeks flaming up to a thousand degrees.

“No. I broke up with him awhile ago.” She shifts closer, bare thighs brushing against his and uncaring that her skirt is pooling higher and higher. Her hot breath whispers against the shell of his ear. “Things weren’t working out since he wasn’t able to satisfy me. I’m lonely at night, Tae. Do you think you can help me?”

Taehyung swallows hard and his eyes dart, thankful to see you.

He shoves Krystal off and hastily says ‘gotta go’. He abandons his belongings to chase your shadow in the maze of bookshelves and cases. “Y/N!”

“Oh dear god!” Your heart stopped beating, startled from him. The librarian immediately hushes you two sharply and a few studying students glare from their books. “What do you want?”

“What is up with that girl, Krystal.” He leans on the shelves, whispering hastily under his breath. “That girl’s coming onto me like strong….she's got game. I-I am just so confused right now. Like is this a dream?!”

You smile at your friend, taking the novel off the top shelf. “She's a nice girl. You should try to get it on with her or something. Wouldn't want the chance to fly away.”

He nods and hums in a delayed response. “Thanks Y/N. You hooked me up with her, right?”

You laugh as he suddenly throws his arms around you. He makes you pet his hair like he's some kind of dog. “At least one of us is getting some…”

Your friend is popular by nature. It’s always been that way. You can remember the awkward years but how he still managed to draw a crowd merely by being himself. In retrospect, no matter what you do, not many people stick around. It isn’t necessarily because you’re a bad person but you tend to make others feel uncomfortable with your natural boldness.

“I can’t believe you got invited into a frat party and I didn’t.” You mutter underneath your breath bitterly and Somi laughs.

“He is technically part of the house…”

From Krystal’s influence, Taehyung had entered the Lambda Sigma Squared fraternity and it didn’t take a full week before they accepted him. He didn’t even need to go through any hazing rituals or grueling challenges. You can’t help but feel a bit jealous.

But for now, the music is thumping the walls and ceiling, strobe lights flashing colourful hues in the dark crowd of sweaty bodies. You can’t feel a single thing aside from euphoria with the liquid courage burning through your veins. The red solo cup is filled with a concoction that you can’t begin to describe. It’s some part apple juice but most part vodka, tequila, whiskey and rum. It tastes atrocious but you feel great.

“Oh my god.” The brightness of Somi’s phone makes you and Taehyung wince. “Suran’s here. She’s at the front door.” Your friend is jumping for joy and you grin.

Tae shoots out his arm through the sea of people, “go forth young one and be with your truest love.”

“Will you guys be okay here?” She’s shaking and jittery, the type of excited drunk that for once overrides her calm rationale.

“What? Ditch us for your girlfriend? Psh, completely fine.” You make a waving motion and her smile dies down. “I’m joking! Gosh, why do you take everything so seriously?!” You push her through and she grins again, yelling a ‘see you later’ over the booming music.

There’s a long silence between you and Taehyung as you sway to the music and Tae leans against the wall. He takes a good look at you. “Are you alright? What’s up?”

Of course of all the people, he would know that there’s something wrong.

You take a long drink, tipping your head back and downing the entire cup until it’s empty. With a recoil at the bitter taste, you narrow your eyes. “If Somi can get a girlfriend, if you can find someone and all these people can get with other people…” You bite away the pain with a hard blink, “why can’t I have someone?”

“Y/N….”

The people who knew you would assume that you’re a psychotic drunk that jumps, climbs onto things, humps the floor and flirts with others. In reality, you’re the emotional type that tends to start crying for no reason. You know it’s happening but you can’t really help it.

Your emotion of sadness is amplified ten fold and a puppy walking past is enough for you to burst into tears, thinking about all the unloved pets in the world.

“I deserve love too!” You sob out and Taehyung sighs, begrudgingly patting your shoulder.

“Listen-”

In the mass of people grinding on each other, spilling alcohol on the floor, a certain girl in a short black dress revealing too much thigh and cleavage comes ripping through the horde. “Taehyung!”

“K-Krystal!” Your nervous friend smiles charmingly and she monopolizes him within an instant. “I didn’t know you would be here.”

“Same here. It must be fate that we ran into each other.” Her red stained lips are puckered and perfect, curls in her hair rest at her shoulders. “You look good, Tae.” Krystal runs her hand over his chest and she nibbles on her bottom lip. He staggers his breathing.

The woman emits an air of absolute sexiness and confidence. You feel envious but it’s overridden by the thought that your best friend is going to get lucky tonight. As her eyes flicker to yours, you know it’s your cue to leave.

“Y/N...I didn’t know you were here either.”

“Not for long. I’m a person on a mission.” You will find someone. You won’t be alone. And you’ll do whatever it takes. “Catch you later, Taehyung..”

As you dive into the crowd, he lets his eyes linger and follow until you’ve all but disappeared in the ocean of people. Taehyung simply laughs and shakes his head to himself.

The sunshine sears into his bedroom, causing him to groan with a thumping headache. The girl beside him whimpers and returns back to sleep. Taehyung staggers to the bathroom to find hickies marked all over his neck. His mind travels back in time and he remembers the alcohol and the bedroom, sweaty sheets and the feeling of skin on skin...also very loud noises, the unpleasant kind like banshees are shrieking.

The memory causes him to shiver.

As he goes down the stairs to find some aspirin that’s in a kitchen drawer, he catches a conversation in the living room. “Did you fuck her?”

“God no. I send her home without even making out or getting a blowjob.”

The voice he recognizes as Jungkook piques his interest. He hasn’t had many opportunities to talk to him before but he seemed like the typical guy and a well respected brother of the frat.

“Aw, why not man? She was so fucking desperate for that dick.” Hoseok laughs, “what was her name?”

“I don’t fucking know. Why would I know?” It’s not Taehyung’s intention to eavesdrop but it’s more of his ears accidentally being active. They’re only a wall away but he pays no mind as he gets a glass of water and takes the pill to ease the nausea. “It was...uh...Y/N, right. Fuck.”

Taehyung sputters.

“Why didn’t you just bang her? It’s not like you to refuse anyone.”

Jungkook exhales in irritation, “I would have but she’s just so fucking annoying.”

Hoseok giggles, “oh shit.”

“If only I somehow could’ve covered her face up and gag her so she’d shut up.”

The two frat boys are lying on the couch, catching up on some video games together. They partied all night and got woken up by their respective sleeping partners, cute girls that went dashing in yesterday’s dresses like a hot mess. The both of them don’t remember their names.

“You’re such an asshat, you know that?”

One second they’re joking around with each other, the next…

Taehyung’s marched into the other room and his clenched knuckles is meeting the cheek of Jeon Jungkook in a punch that nearly shatters bone.

It’s really odd. Taehyung had left his dormitory and went to the frat house and then left that place all in the course of two weeks. He never really tells you why and you’re completely bewildered when it seemed like he was having fun and fitting in nicely with his ‘brothers’.

Well, it’s ex-brothers now.

He doesn’t say anything about it and there aren’t any rumours spreading around at his sudden leave. You suspect that there’s been a cover-up, maybe an embarrassing situation had transpired. Krystal was the one who asked you for the reason when you were going to ask her. Somi was as confused as you are. Taehyung simply told you that it wasn’t a right fit, like how you didn’t match with the sorority you tried to join.

But everything ended up fine anyways.

“We can be poor together!” You celebrate in your tiny apartment, staring at the dirty couch you had bought from a guy living on the streets. He took fifty bucks for it and your best friend told you that you totally got scammed. “This is destiny, dude! Who knew that two separate bedrooms would come in handy? And here I thought I got duped when the realtor showed this place to me.”

“I wonder if I betrayed my nation in my past life.” Taehyung mutters dramatically as he attempts to hot glue the wallpaper back onto the wall. “What did I do to deserve this?”

You ignore his sobs, boiling some expired pasta on the weak gas stove - you’re pretty sure the extra salt you added will kill any germs or bacteria that could get you sick….probably.

It was a lot less lonely now that you have Taehyung around. You don’t feel like you’re suffering alone and with the extra money he’s chipping in, you don’t have to sneak into conferences or networking events to eat that often anymore.

“Maybe this opportunity will make you realize that you’ve been in love with me this entire time.”

Taehyung looks down from where he’s standing on the stool. You’re holding the slotted spoon in your hand, blinking up at him innocently.

“I’m moving out.”

“I’m joking!” You have to grab onto his ankle when he tries to get to the doorway. Taehyung drags your entire body while he lugs his anchored leg. “Please don’t go!”

Life with Taehyung is great.

“Did you just fucking fart?”

He chucks a grimy cushion at you and you evade the dust cloud. This evening, after an intense match of rock-paper-scissors, Taehyung has won couch privileges which means you get to sit on the floor to finish school work. But really, the floor isn’t as bad as the bug infested sofa.

“GOD! What did you even eat, lady?!” Taehyung pinches his nose.

You laugh as he shouts that there’s been a nuclear bomb attack. “I had bean burritos for lunch.”

What were you saying? Oh yeah… Life with Taehyung isn’t so bad-

“What are you doing?!” He shrieks and shuts his eyes, clawing at his face while simultaneously melting onto the floor. You scoff at him, kicking the side of his ribs before stepping over his body.

“I forgot to bring my clothes in the bathroom and I was doing laundry...so...no towels either. Nude life!” Your words shoot past the man who’s still groaning on the dirty floorboards. It’s as if he’s going through a metamorphosis or in the middle of an exorcist, screaming and flailing his limbs.

You question how he has so much energy at midnight and how he never fails to act childishly. But maybe that’s why the two of you are such close friends. “Oh c’mon. Don’t be embarrassed, Taehyung! You’ve seen it all before.”

Your naked body collapses on the sofa and he gets up off the floor. “Doesn’t mean I want to see it again.”

“Hey.” You fill your mouth with chips, stuffing your cheek. “My body is goddess-like. The whole world’s just missing out.”

“What? On those bee stings of yours?”

You gasp, “do not call my boobs bee stings!”

“Sorry.” Taehyung hurls your jacket on top of your head for you to wear temporarily, so you won’t get cold and complain about it. “I meant mosquito bites.”

“Rude.”

You’re beginning to question if life with Taehyung is that great or not.

It is fun. And you’re not so poor anymore which is a massive plus. Your best friend proves to be your best friend for a reason. Taehyung’s is a companion you adore to be with, to tease and to chat to. You almost don’t feel too bad about being single anymore. Almost.

“Aren’t you quiet today?” He frowns and spins around, deciding to finish his paper later or maybe tomorrow...or whenever the deadline is. “Y/N? Earth to Y/N…”

“Hm?” You lift your head from your phone monitor, met with Taehyung in his heart patterned pajamas. “What?”

“What are-...is that tinder?!” The honey brown haired boy gapes at you with an open mouth.

You continue to swipe left without looking. “Don’t judge me. You have hot Krystal taking you out on dates and leaving me here every other night.”

He collapses next to you, watching the netflix show on your laptop propped up on a chair. “Are you not even looking at their profiles?”

“Nope.” You pop the ‘p’ syllable, finger still moving erratically across the screen as your eyes pin on the monitor where two characters are running towards each other after being separated for ten years. “I think there’s a glitch with my app. Maybe it’s the wifi. I’m not getting any matches.”

“That’s weird.”

“I know right.”

The both of you sit in silence for the rest of the half hour, finishing the show. Taehyung chows down on your hot cheetos and feeds you when you open your mouth with an ‘ah’. He doesn’t really care that your hair has been unwashed for the past two days or that the rips in the couch scratch uncomfortably on his skin. The pair of you simply allow time to pass as the flickerings of the lights flash onto your faces until it dies out.

“What the fuck?!”

“Shit.” Taehyung jumps from your sudden yelling voice. “You startled me!”

“Why am I not getting any matches?!” You cry out, still swiping. “I’ve downloaded this, Bumble, eHarmony, OkCupid, everything under the damn sun!”

“Well maybe-”

“Ow.” You wince and the mobile device falls from your hand. Taehyung yawns, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He feels terribly drowsy and exhausted, no better dream than to collapse onto his bedsheets at this very moment.

He groans with your hiss, “What is it now, woman?”

“My thumb hurts, Tae.”

“Well yeah, you’ve been swiping for how long now?”

“Three hours...I think four actually.” You whimper out, trying to bend the bone.

“Dear lord.” He shakes his head and stretches his arms out. “Go ice it or something. I think I’m going to head to bed now. See you in the morni-”

A strangled shout erupts from your lips. Taehyung is jolted awake and he immediately flickers on the lights. It takes a second before electricity runs through the bulb but when he lays his eyes onto your thumb that you’re trying to fold into your palm, he sharply inhales. “Oh fuck.”

Your digit is not only swollen but bruised, bent in a weird direction, coloured blue and purple.

“You actually sprained it!”

“Did you think I was making it up?!”

“Oh my god...why can’t I have a day of peace with you?! Get up!”

“What?” You’re hauled up when his hand wraps around your other wrist. “Where are we going?!”

“The hospital.”

You’ve died.

Suddenly, as you peel back your lids, you’re in a large room of white. It burns to the back of your eyeballs, the immaculate shade of purity embracing your cold heart and the pain of your hand has dwindled into nothing. Wherever you look, wherever you go, there are good looking people everywhere. Women and men are dressed in ivory coats, slicked back hair and adorning gorgeous smiles. This is Heaven.

“Are you her guardian? Please register.” The nurse hands your best friend the clipboard and several sheets of paperwork. He sighs and drags you with him as he takes a spot in the open waiting room. Your eyes are going all over the place and you’re drooling.

He snaps his fingers in front of you. “Y/N, Y/N...Y/N?” When you look at him, he pets your hair like you’re a puppy. “Good girl. Now I need you to use your left hand and sign here.”

You obey his command and he nods, filling in your home address and your date of birth, everything in between for you. “Taehyung. Be honest with me…” You ogle a smoking surgeon as they ruffle their sweaty locks, rushing past you. “Am I dead?”

“Yes.” He giggles, deciding to entertain you despite it being one in the morning.

“If this is Heaven…” Your pupils find his. “Then why are you here?”

He uses the clipboard to lightly smack the top of your head. You let out an ‘ow’ but he saunters off to submit the papers to the counter before sitting back down. “How could you hit someone ill?”

“You’re not ill.” He nags, “and you did this to yourself.”

“Maybe it was worth it. Why are there so many good looking doctors and nurses, here? I’ve been missing out, Tae. This is where it’s at. Maybe you should break my leg so I can stay longer.”

“At this rate, I might run you over with a car first.” He holds his head in his hands, questioning every single deity and god he knows the name of, as to why you’re so thirsty and desperate.

Your best friend’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out. You lean over, reading his messages over his shoulder. It’s Krystal and she’s asking him what he’s doing, sending a wink emoticon along with the message. He stares at it for a second and then puts his phone away.

“You’re not gonna answer that?”

“Nah.” He shuts his eyes, crosses his arms and leans back. “I’m too tired to.”

You let out a baffled scoff. If it was Taehyung, he could afford to give radio silence for two full weeks and people would still be all over him. If it were you, no matter how far and wide you would search, there would be absolutely no one.

You repress the urge to strangle Taehyung out of pure jealousy.

“I really don’t understand it.” Every once in a while, you would consult him on some girl advice, whether it’s on what preferences men have on lingerie or ranting as to why people are so difficult. He always listens and it reminds you of the sleepovers that you, Somi and Taehyung used to have in high school.

“Am I pretty, Taehyung? Or is it because I’m just unlovable?”

“I think you’re a bit psychotic but you’re honestly fine.” He mutters and opens his eyes slowly. “Half-decent, I guess.”

“Psh, thanks for the comfort, dude.” You nudge him and he laughs. The two of you don’t get to banter back and forth when Somi comes strutting down the hallway with her hands on her hips.

Her kitten heels click against the tiles and you suddenly feel you’re getting into trouble with your mom or a teacher. You stand up and Tae follows you, silenced by the menacing aura approaching. “What did you do, young lady?”

“Nothing.”

“She sprained her thumb by swiping left on tinder for four consecutive hours.” As if to further mock you, Taehyung hitches his healthy thumb to your form beside him.

You whip your head up with a sharp glare. “Tattletale.”

Taehyung grins mischievously, shrugging his shoulder upwards as his mouth moves into a boxy shape. Somi’s face falls within her hands as she mumbles something like ‘oh god’. “You’re an embarrassment, you know that?” She scolds you without restraint, “you should be lucky I’m working a graveyard shift.”

Somi’s in the nursing program and to help add to her resume, she’s working part time at the hospital. You never thought it would come in handy until now. “Thank you.”

“Wait here until I can get some bandages or something…” She gradually backs away. “Both of you. Do. not. move. I don’t need any trouble around here.” When you nod and Taehyung mimics your motion, she takes off running down the hall.

You’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend in your entire existence. You’ve never once been embraced tightly. You’ve never had a lover before. You haven’t been kissed. You haven’t held hands with someone. You haven’t been touched or caressed by another. You don’t know what it feels like to mean the world to someone or to be held close by a person’s heart. The words of ‘I love you’ have never been spoken on your tongue.

But you have also never been alone.

As you watch one of your best friends scatter away, you turn to directly face the other one beside you.

“Maybe the person I’ve been looking for this entire time has been standing right in front of me.”

Taehyung who’s standing in front of you, steps off to the side almost immediately, nearly getting whiplash from the movement. He bursts out into laughter and the corners of your own mouth lift upwards.

#sfwbangtan stories #bts fanfic #Taehyung fanfic #taehyung fluff #taehyung scenario #this is probably my favourite OC that I've ever written....

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itsjustkp007 · 7 years

Text

Letter to My Child Self

(Note: Stef is a girl on YouTube who posts about trans issues, but she also does beauty and lifestyle videos. She “challenged” her audience to write a letter to our younger selves. I use “challenged” loosely because while this may be challenging for me, it may not be for someone else. Anyway, here are some things that I would want to tell/advise my younger self.)

1) 12-year-old Kristin, you’re going to get bullied for reasons that don’t matter. People are going to say that you’re a lesbian because you haven’t had a boyfriend. People are going to say that you’re a bitch because you’re honest and don’t give a fuck. People are going to be nasty to you. Accept that. Getting defensive doesn’t hurt them; it hurts you. Of course, you should stand up for yourself, and of course, you shouldn’t believe them, but accept the fact that their bullying has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

2) 12-year-old Kristin, the reason that you get so offended by someone calling you a lesbian is because you’re panromantic. It’s not a bad thing that you could see yourself falling in love with someone regardless of gender. You’re offended because they’re misidentifying who you really are. You’re offended because how dare they know something within you that you haven’t acknowledged yet. Take your time. Let yourself come to terms with this, and don’t let anyone sway your opinion about yourself. (Plus, as we both know, being a lesbian isn’t a bad thing. It’s just not a term that describes you.)

3) 12-year-old Kristin, calm down. You get so angry so easily. Don’t let people get to you. You are better than that, and you are stronger than that. Try not to be so defensive. It’s okay to let some things go.

4) 12-year-old Kristin, you’re going to fall in love with a boy. This boy is going to be both one of the best things that ever happened to you and your worst heartbreak. You will never regret him, though, because he set the foundation of what you want in a partner and what you don’t want. He will show you what you deserve as well as what you don’t deserve. However, you’re both going to grow up, and you’re not going to grow together. You’re gonna be angry with him for a little while, and that’s okay, but he’s not the enemy. Give yourself the courage to let him go when you know it’s not going to work. Give yourself the time you need to move on.

5) 12-year-old Kristin, you don’t know everything. The sooner that you come to this conclusion, the better. And don’t assume that you’re not an asshole because you don’t bully people. You’re going to be an asshole at some points in your life. You’re also going to have asshole moments. Learn from them.

6) 12-year-old Kristin, there’s a reason why you love to read so much and there’s a reason why you consider the library a safe place. It’s where you belong. Don’t rule out being a librarian because it’s hard. Pursue it. Don’t be so stubborn about it. (Trust me when I say that you’re going to be learning throughout your life, at least to this point, to be less stubborn about things, but good Lord do we have a way to go. xD No worries. You’ll get there eventually.)

7) 12-year-old Kristin, I wish I could tell you that your self-esteem is through the roof and that you’re actually confident about yourself. You haven’t gotten there yet, but you will get to a point where you are confident with your body. Not confident in the sense that you think you’re hot shit, but to the point where you can look at your body in the mirror and own it. You will wear what you want. You will wear what’s comfortable for you to wear, and you will strut like you’re walking a fucking runway. Own your body. If you want to exercise, exercise. If you want to eat that bowl of ice cream, eat that ice cream. Don’t let society or stereotypes tell you otherwise. Own. Yourself.

8) 12-year-old Kristin, sexuality is still a thing that we’re not sure about, but let me tell you a secret: it’s because we don’t have a label for it. You’re not pansexual. (By the way, you know the difference between romantic and sexual attraction now, so that helps.) You’re more like heteroflexible than anything, which is why we feel like we don’t belong in the LGBTQIA+ community. Not because it wouldn’t be accepted, but because we’re not “gay enough.” (Note: I hear you, Ash Hardell and similar people of the world, a little bit gay is gay enough, but that’s just how I feel.) Don’t let anyone rush you into finding a label for yourself. You’ll figure it out eventually, and you don’t really need a label.

9) 12-year-old Kristin, you feel more comfortable in small men’s shirts because they’re soft and hide your stomach fat. You’re not weird for wearing those shirts. You’re weird for other reasons. xD Oh, and while we’re on that topic, weird is not an insult. You’ll soon realize that weird, to you, is synonymous with different, outside of the norm, or unique. These are all good things. Don’t shy away from it.

10) 12-year-old Kristin, when you’re in 7th grade, you’re going to date a guy in sixth grade. But prepare yourself: he’s gay. It won’t work out. But good grief, you’re going to be over the moon happy when he finds a lovely man to live the rest of his life with and you’re going to be so thankful that you dated him. He may not have been into you, but he showed you how you should be treated, and that will absolutely help you in the future.

11) 12-year-old Kristin, never be afraid to try new things.

12) 12-year-old Kristin, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT wear makeup because you feel it is expected of you. Only wear makeup when you want to; it’s not anyone else’s decision but yours.

13) 12-year-old Kristin, you’ll learn to love your hometown more in the future, but that does not necessarily mean that it’s where you belong. Sure, it will always have a special place in your heart, but what makes it home to you is the people, not the location. Although, we can both agree that the mountains are a nice touch and it’s absolutely gorgeous in the fall.

14) 12-year-old Kristin, enjoy your life now. Don’t rush to become an adult. You spend more time wishing you could be older than you focus on the present. Take a breather. Live for the moment.

15) 12-year-old Kristin, I’m going to stop you from wondering this right now. That reoccurring nightmare you have happens less over time, but it’s something that will never completely go away. Just accept it for what it is: a nightmare based on the scariest moment to ever happen in your life.

16) 12-year-old Kristin, take care of your little sister. She does mean a lot to you already and it’s obvious that you love her, but she’ll need you more in the future than you will ever be able to fathom. Accept her. Love her. Be her rock. You may not feel like you’ve helped her enough, but trust me: you’ve helped her more than you ever thought you could.

17) 12-year-old Kristin, stay the person that you are. Make changes when necessary, be mature when you need to be mature, and don’t stay the same exact person. But when you grow, keep the qualities that you like about yourself: your laughter, your humor, your selflessness, your optimism, and your belief that you can accomplish anything.

18) 12-year-old Kristin, you watch The Apprentice now, but dude, wait until you turn 24. You’re not going to believe the shitstorm that happens, and...wow. Expect the unexpected. Not just with this, but with every aspect of life. (Oh, and yes, you never stop calling people “dude.” You still see it as a gender-neutral term, and you’ll use it with anyone and everyone unless they tell you otherwise.)

19) 12-year-old Kristin, yes, you love video games. However, don’t go into college majoring in computer science. You were meant to play them, not make them. Although, who knows? Maybe you’ll write a script for one one day. (This hasn’t happened yet, but we can dream.)

20) 12-year-old Kristin, you can curse. You’re allowed, but make sure you’re aware of the people around you. Some people are okay with it; some people are not. Know the difference, but you’re allowed to curse when you’re angry. It’s not the worst thing in the world.

21) 12-year-old Kristin, you don’t care about alcohol right now, and you’re never going to care about it. Try what you want to try, and reject what you want to reject. The right people aren’t going to care whether you drink or not.

22) 12-year-old Kristin, you stay a Christian, but you also become a lot more open-minded. Don’t just reject things because the adults at church tell you to. Make your own decisions. God will forgive you; you just have to forgive yourself.

23) 12-year-old Kristin, there’s a reason why you get angry at extremists. You’re a moderate. xD But seriously, the reason you get so agitated with political debates is due to the fact that their disagreements turn into shouting matches. You’re annoyed because they are grown adults arguing in such a childish manner that it turns you off. This isn’t going to change, but that’s why you hate politics. It’s not because you don’t care; it’s because you want people to discuss their disagreements rather than try to convince the other side they’re right.

24) 12-year-old Kristin, your first vote was for an African American President. Right now, you’re curious about why the President has always been a white man, and you’re sort of irritated that a woman or someone of another race hasn’t won, but that will change. And boy oh boy, do you get excited! xD (Btw, thanks, Obama. :) Lord, I miss him as POTUS.)

25) 12-year-old Kristin, there’s a thing called YouTube that you’re going to fall in love with and it’s going to change your life for the better. But it does get addicting. Be careful. Focus on what needs to be done first before you watch it, and then watch videos to your heart’s content. xD <3

26) 12-year-old Kristin, I have one last piece of advice for you. Don’t give up. Don’t give up on school. Don’t give up on your loved ones. Most importantly, don’t give up on yourself.

#Stef Sanjati #this was harder for me than it probably should have been #12-year-old me was confused AF

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