#how do they resolve all of their issues

[mamawasatesttube]

god. sometimes i think about rebirth kon and how incredibly fucked up his entire situation is. and sometimes i want to play in that space and explore it but the thing is like... its pretty much impossible to actually resolve any of his tragedy there unless its just entirely a story about grief and i ... listen stories about grief absolutely have their place but i'm a softie and i like hurt/comfort and angst with happy endings. i can't do it.

like, genuinely. how fucked up would it be to spend most of your life suicidal until you actually die, and then a scant few years later - after you've been ripped away from everyone you know and love, and you haven't been able to go home but you've been aching for them, enough to persuade a woman to name her unborn child for your grandmother - you find out that they all forgot you. not voluntarily, but they did. and now they do remember you, but they also remember a timeline where you simply never existed. your most formative baseline thought patterns have always been ones where you're okay with killing yourself, and now you know everyone you've been yearning to return to remembers you, but also remembers a time when you simply did not exist, when they never knew you, when you weren't even an afterthought because you were never there.

would that not be completely and utterly horrific?

you know how kon has always been one giant existential crisis after another? haha yeah wow that sure has NOT changed. the only difference as far as i can tell is that so far, nothing in rebirth is acknowledging it. (possible exception to superboy man of tomorrow - at least the setup includes him outright stating he's not doing great and feels unnecessary, but we'll see where it goes!)

#shoutout to the one issue of yj19 where konbart talk about how fucked up this all is at least a bit #but its sooo fucked up and evil that pretty much all the fandom talks about wrt kon in rebirth era is just OOH HES JEALOUS ABT TIM/BER. #like. i know why (Those Batfam Fans™ who dont recognize kon as a character rather than an accessory to tim) but STILL #girl he has bigger fish to fry lmao #its just tragic bc *i* dont want to write anything about this it makes me SAD and idk how to resolve any of it #but sometimes i Do want to see a really good aching bittersweet character study #but no one has written that for me. sad. fucked up :/ #rimi talks #kon #ive just been thinkin abt this sooo much since smot1 dropped the toher day. augh

[roseworth]

btw i think rose shouldve gone apeshit after finding out that slade started drugging cass like a week after he stopped drugging her

#i actually dont know how long after rose it was but it couldnt have been long #and to me she shouldve been PISSED #'how dare you do this to someone else' in two ways #bc first of all he fucked her up with that drug so obviously she'd hate that the same thing was hurting someone else now #but also!!!!! i feel like in a weird way she'd be upset that he replaced her #bc she had a LOT of resolved issues with slade at that point #and she had been convincing herself the entire time that slade was doing everything he was doing bc he loved her #so to see him do the same thing to someone else??? #she KNOWS its a bad thing. and she hates him. but she still goes '😦 my daddy doesnt love me anymore?' #(in a way this can be cassrose. take my hand)

[boundinparchment]

People really need to understand that 500-coded errors are server side. The website is down and the host probably already knows.

#Istg working on the other side I do NOT envy the volunteers resolving those issues with the server hosts 🫡 #Reddit just fucking flooded with panicked people like CHILL ITS OKAY ITLL COME BACK #also ngl how the FUCK does anyone have the time to sit and read fic all day???????????? like I love reading as much as the next person but

[ranchthoughts]

inspired by @dudeyuri pointing this out in He's Coming to Me

I'm thinking about how HCTM goes HARDER with the concept of 'if you know how it's going to end, why start anything?' than even Bad Buddy.

In Bad Buddy, Pran doesn't see the use in verbalizing his feelings for Pat because it can only end in tragedy. He looks at their situation with their parents and doesn't see any way that he and Pat can have a happily ever after. But Pat's relentless optimism and love in the face of this helps Pran realize that some things are worth trying. Like in the episode 5 rooftop kiss, where Pat kisses Pran and Pran goes "...what the hell. Might as well go all in" and kisses Pat back. (I've talked about the kiss here and here (shout out to @dudeyuri' contributions); and more broadly about Pat and Pran and genre/tragedies here and here)

In Bad Buddy's case, Pran and Pat are able to defy their seemingly pre-destined tragic ending through the power of their relentless determination to be together (see @chickenstrangers' brilliant post here). If it means fake breaking up, if it means hiding parts of their lives from their parents and others, they can do it. They refuse to have their story end in tragedy. And they succeed! They have found enduring love and a future together in a situation where that seemed impossible, a guaranteed inevitability. They defied generations of family feud forbidden romance endings (Romeo & Juliet, Kwan & Riam) (and their own families' intergenerational trauma - see this post by @waitmyturtles) to find a happy ending.

But Bad Buddy's ending is not 100% happy - Pat and Pran aren't able to be open in front of their parents, they aren't able to realize their achingly simple dreams (Pat being respected and not questioned by his father, Pat able to join Pran's family at dinner - see @grapejuicegay 's tags peer reviewed here).

In the same vein, HCTM doesn't have a fully happy ending either, and it also deals with the looming spectre of inevitability tragedy. Only this time, it's even more inevitable.

(If you haven't finished HCTM beware spoilers)

HCTM establishes that ghosts remain because they died before their time, because they don't know the reason they died, or because they didn't get the proper funerary rites. If these issues are rectified, the ghost will be able to pass on and be reincarnated.

(forgive my potentially hazy remembering of HCTM, it's been a few months since I watched it and I'm writing this on a train)

Mes hasn't passed on because he didn't know the reason he died (and he hadn't received the proper care post-death from his family). Thun helps him rectify this: solves the mystery of how he died and helps arrange a proper send-off. Thun does all this because he loves Mes and wants to help him, and despite knowing it will help Mes pass on and leave him - the inevitability of their situation looms large.

At the end of the show, Thun cries because he believes Mes had left him forever, but by some miracle Mes has remained. But this is temporary, and we all know this. One day, Mes will pass on and be reincarnated. Not today - today Mes and Thun get to stay together - but one day, that is how this story will end.

So like Bad Buddy, it's not exactly a happy ending (Pat and Pran are trapped in a glass closet, Thun and Mes will be separated one day). But unlike Bad Buddy, there is less chance of a reversal of fortune, of defying the inevitable. Thun and Mes are working with cosmological forces of death and rebirth. Perhaps their love will be able to overcome this and Mes can stay with Thun... but the show doesn't confirm this. If anything, the show makes it clear that this is temporary, that eventually Mes will leave Thun.

Despite this though, and like always in Aof's stuff - better to have loved and lived than not at all. Despite their less than stellar ending, Pat and Pran have found an enduring love in each other and their lives are better and happier for it (Pat says it himself: he was happier when Pran wasn't in his life because he didn't have to compete so much, but he was damn lonely). Thun and Mes are the same - sure their love won't be everlasting because eventually Mes will have to pass on, but the joy and love it brings to their lives (and the self-realization it brought to Thun's) is worth it all.

Bad Buddy ends in the middle of things (Pran and Pat still haven't rectified things with their family) and so does HCTM (Thun and Mes are together, but only temporarily. We don't see their ending).

Shout out to another @dudeyuri post that made me think about this (here) and @waitmyturtles masterful post about suffering in Asian BLs and, more specifically, the lack of closing loops in narratives/relationships, which I have been mulling over since - Bad Buddy and HCTM's stories aren't over, we don't see the endings.

#he's coming to me #bad buddy #hctm #hctm meta #bb #bb meta #ranch thoughts #and on top of all this - been thinking of the amorphous/un-resolved nature of PatPran's arc in Our Skyy 2 and how that connects #it is fine we didn't get it neatly wrapped because pat pran and aof aren't about neat endings - they leave us in the middle of things #they leave us in the middle of a story - because these are lives and lives continue... they don't wrap up narratively neatly #pat and pran have years (before we see them again in ep 12 and the rest of their lives) to work out their issues #to communicate and grow as a couple as as individuals. we only joined them for a bit of the journey - they do the rest on their own

[the-bees-patella]

apparently what it takes for me to become a rabid reply guy is dipshits in the comments on an article about whether a player strike is the only way to force changes in the exponential demands of club/league/international football. "they're millionaires and should stop whining" wash your ass and shut up, steve. we're all grist for the goddamn mill

#other choice responses: #'why don't managers just substitute more' #i don't know how to explain to you that winning is incentivized in a fucking sports competition #could managers do better? of course. does that resolve the systemic issue #fucking NO steve #it does not #and yes of COURSE fifa sucks. we all know this #i'm going to have to start a football tag for blacklisting. taking suggestions #football

[ria-starstruck]

oh. babys first youtube account btw

#as someone put it :D #Youtube #oh neat does it add a youtube tag on its own? or did i do that and forget about it lmao #hollow knight animatic #hollow knight fanart #animatic #btw if anyone knows how to like resolve issues w tagging someone in a yt video lmk 🙏 feels very silly to not b able to like provide a dire #direct link n all that to someone's channel/whatever when i'm using their designs yk yk?

[mikoran]

im not necessarily opposed to a time skip since with the actors ages its kinda required but the fact it has to happen for two years under these kinds of circumstances makes me question how theyll manage handle it

#and theyre definitely not gonna skip two years off the bat so why even have a time skip if youre still gonna act like the characters are #fourteen for like two episodes minimum #at that point just commit smhhh #no but in all seriousness the fact a time skip is even necessary at all is what i mostly have an issue with #and its not like theres anything that can be done about it because covid fucked everything over #but it also sorta fucked the writing up because how do you shove a two year time skip into the apocalypse #im being very repetitive today but whatever #point being i have doubts yknow #and am very unsure about whats gonna be pre and post time skip #byler #also youve got SO MANY interpersonal conflicts that would either have to be resolved very quickly or left festering for two years #aka byler #cuz i dont think they can drag it out too long but i also dont think itll happen so quickly #guess well see next yearrrr

[starbuck]

i feel like i am going to disintegrate and explode but, in good news, i may have discovered a rare tree!

#in bad news - i MIGHT have misidentified it and publicly humiliate myself! #the possibilities of the universe are truly endless… #honestly i’d just like to stop having a 24/7 anxiety attack - i feel extraordinarily unwell #and i don’t know how to stop it #because the problem is me being anxious about several massive unresolved issues that are 90% out of my control #i call things like that my spinning plates #and one spinning plate is okay… maybe i can even handle two #but once too many plates get spinning - that freaks me out #and i won’t stop freaking out until the issues are resolved and i can stop worrying about holding them up and not breaking them #so in the meantime all i can really do is attempt to manage myself #which is hard when my brain is fucking SCREAMING all the time every day and night always #but i’m Trying #it would be cool if the tree was real #it would be nice

[larnax]

like ok lemme give you a fucking recap of my Dentistry Experience

>be me 9ish. go to dentist for first time since i was 3 bc my mom spent all our child support money on plane tickets. dentist says you have three cavities so big we need to pull your teeth

>they put me on anesthesia that i say doesnt work. it doesnt work so im in excruciating pain while they yank out the three teeth

>i get switched to second dentist and a few years later after x-ray am told my canines are growing into the roof of my mouth and i need surgery and braces to have them fixed. dentist then says i can keep on the braces after i get my canines fixed so my teeth will be straight. i tell him i don't care if my teeth are straight and i want them off as soon as my canines are in the right place

>get the surgery and start going to second dentist. he sometimes cuts pieces of my tongue off and after his visits im in so much pain i cant speak. when i ask when i'm getting my braces off he tells me to stop being impatient and refuses to give me an answer

>eventually he says that my canines should be fine and i say ok please take the braces off. he says no because my teeth aren't straight. my mom says no because my teeth aren't straight.

>dentist welds a metal bar to the top of my mouth. it's positioned so that it cuts into my tongue leaving me with a permanent bloody painful wound in my mouth for the several years it's in despite repeatedly telling him and mom what's happening and begging for them to take it out. they say no because my teeth aren't straight

>dentist welds a metal bar behind my bottom teeth with so much glue that after i finally got another dentist to remove it years later they weren't able to get all the glue off and it took several more appointments. also just to straighten my teeth

>YEARS LATER i get the dentist to remove the metal bar. it leaves a scar on my tongue that hasn't healed almost a decade later.

>YEARS LATER i get the dentist to remove the braces.

>after that they immediately give me a retainer they say i need to wear all day. i say for how long they say for the rest of my life. i say Why. they say because otherwise your teeth won't stay straight

>i do not wear the retainer because i already didn't care about my teeth being straight before all this happened and sure fucking didn't now. so my canines are still crooked so yeah all of that was for nothing

#c.paradisi #uh ask to tag #recently i found this article #about another dentist who gave his clients a bunch of unnecessary shit so he could upcharge them #and the article was like yeah the usa has. idr exactly but theyre not considered medical professionals #so they dont require the same training or oversight doctors do #so theres just a ton of malpractice and most of its never caught or punished #and i was like ohhhh. yeah i guess that happened to me huh #what makes me insane is how clear i was from the beginning that i wanted them off as soon as the medical issue was resolved #and NOBODY EVER LISTENED TO ME. #i got tortured for YEARS and permanently scarred my tongue bc my mom wanted me to have straight teeth and a dentist wanted money #awesome! very cool! #ANYWAY. #im going to a normal dentist now and yeah all that shit was Not normal. #also its nice to be an adult bc while i was in for a cleaning the assistant was like you should get a retainer to straighten your teeth #and i said No 👍 and that was the end of it

[switchcase]

hi I saw you say that you're ace but don't say you are, n I just wanted to say we love you n it's ok to be ace 🤍 I hope you're able to embrace n accept yourself in spite of all the acephobia in the world

Hello! I appreciate the sentiment and the support. Acephobia isn't the reason I am unable to use the label for myself. It would be nice if I eventually could use the term for myself, but it isn't a big priority for me. Whether I do or don't use the label doesn't affect my interpersonal life so it doesn't bother me or come up much. In all honesty, even if I got past the issue I have with using ace for myself, I would probably feel More distress than less distress if I started identifying as ace, if only because I tend to be community-oriented and that would expose me to a lot of things I would find genuinely distressing.

#ask #anonymous #Actually that may be something I take to therapy #Not the ace thing but that I have issues with community and in particular how western/white communities handle conflict #Which is to say they just Don't do conflict at all and it makes me feel hurt because everybody moves on without addressing anything #And the conflict white/western people DO engage in is very...shame focused rather than focused on resolving the issue #Which frustrates me in a different way because either way the problem is unresolved. #Because I do have this problem across multiple communities. It was just worse with the ace community #Honestly it's less frustration and more a very deep disappointment in people which may be worse #And more and more I realize it's a cultural issue because I do NOT have this issue with communities that aren't primarily white/western

[stardustedknuckles]

.

#I will do my best to be positive and nice about all of this in the next day or two #I just so hate the parasocial bs more than anything #This show is pre recorded #The cast already knows how it resolves #This discourse was over before it ever started and it should never have started #CR spoilers #I'm gonna go watch star trek with my buddy #Tomorrow I'll start trying for non-bitter posts about the characters themselves instead of this weird meta nonsense #Player agency is a non issue here and certainly not OUR issue #The cast was delighted to watch him go and they've been nothing but supportive on Twitter #They're loving this #You don't have to but don't project on the cast about it and make it a moral issue good lord

[niuxita21]

Sorry. I got carried away with the gay stereotypes. I too have a lot to learn. And I went a bit too far sending Elena to kidnap you. I’m sorry. Ana, you and I are a team and complement each other perfectly. And you’ve taught me a lot about the business world, but I know other things as well that I can teach you.

Bonus: Ana’s reaction to Mariana saying she could teach her other things... 

#madre solo hay dos #ana servín #mariana herrera #shitty screencap posts (TM) #buckle up here's a numbered list of all the things I loved about this scene and them in this episode #1) the fact that they weren't even pretending here #they were just hashing things out being their usual cute supportive selves with each other #and it's still indistinguishable from them acting like a couple to the point that the driver himself was like 'naww y'all are so cute' :))) #2) the fact that aside from the characters who need to be against them being a couple for plot reasons #they're having random characters be outed as straight-up shippers (first ceci and now the driver apparently) idk it tickles me #3) the fact that what this scene is aluding to is mariana knowing more about being lgbt than ana #I really appreciate them not only not forgetting that mariana is bi but actually leaning into it and bringing it up very matter-of-factly #in a context where it was very much relevant idk why I wasn't expecting it but it's really great to see #4) the fact that even though mariana is fully intent on keeping ferrán on as a sidepiece (lol) #her scenes with ana even when they're not having to pretend don't feel like she's just counting down the minutes to see ferrán again #especially here like the way the 'we complement each other perfectly we're a team you've taught me sooo much' just comes so effortlessly #it doesn't feel like she's saying it to keep up the couple charade for the driver's benefit bc a) we know what she sounds like when she acts #and b) it only seems to occur to them that the driver is listening and that they may have to continue pretending AFTER they say all that #so this is really just mariana wanting to gently assert herself to ana and try to resolve the issue they've been having #and her way of doing that is to praise her and talk about how great they are together becase that's what comes naturally to her #idk idk I'm rambling the point is that that earlier scene at the restaurant with the forced handhold made me a wee bit apprehensive #like maybe ana would go overboard with the pretending and mariana would act uncomfortable every time they had scenes together #esp knowing that she would rather be kissing ferrán at the moment #so this was nice to see and once again I like how they are choosing to frame this storyline and their scenes together #especially considering the radically different places they both are at emotionally

[sateurn]

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

These sobs really limited my tags?????

I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike

#its ‘i watched a tv show and i need to talk about it in the tags of this site im not on anymore’ time #ty to the void for always accepting my thoughts <3 #so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season #s as a basis and had ten thousand questions i *assumed* would be resolved. spoiler alert: they were nto #not*. and the coda addition helps but like. not enough. it explains some of the #oh fyi if anyone is reading or cared there will be spoilers #anyways it explained some of them ex for the cosmic engine bit. seemed pretty relevant and then was never mentioned again #i also MUCH prefer that version of trance — i had speculation she was a sun avatar which i took as confirmation when i finally noticed her #tattoo when harper used it to remind himself he put that data in the sun etc etc but i much prefer the sun-as-consciousness-astral-poject- #ing-slash-dreamjng-itself-a-body / being a little devil. i think that feels much more true to what we got in worldbuilding early on and tbh #the bar is on the floor bc any explanation would be better than what we got. also im sorry but s5 i trusted SO hard that that whole virgil #vox bit in the finale was insulting. couldnt even tie up the loose end you invented at the last minute????? MY god. i understand getting you #r budget halved but like. broski. it would have been better to ignore it at that point imo. #anywhoodle. i also have just ISSUES w the lack of resolution & not doing justice to literally any character #listen. why would you sink SO much effort into tyr just to have honestly what i feel is a disrespectful end to that character. like #tyr required me to do a LOT of thinking bc i sympathized with his position in exile etc while thinking also bro thats real fucked up. bro #stop thats fuckinng e*genics again dude. tbh with the entire species (im not looking up how to spell that rn) bc like the foundation of #their entire race is e*ugenics. (sorry censoring bc im in the tags just venting about tv) which obviously is a terrible idea but i think the #so it was like i am fundamentally against the concept but in show universe theg obviously did it etc but for me provided such a huge like #context to the universe. i fundamentally am not on board with all the commonwealth stuff like yeah i get it the magog are bad and scary but #like the neitzcheans (sp??? idc) are also Right There bein scary. then theres the ‘enhanced’ debate re dylan beka etc that like. is the same #but ‘’different’’ i guess. 🙄 anyways that is just to point out like. the level of thinking this show put me through just to blindside me w/ #no resolution. i had SO much hope. tyr selling iut to the abyss is disrespectful to all of the established work the actor did for him and #to the character as well even if i think the ideology is icky. he was shown to be even less and less self-centric survival guy as it went on #and also tbh i didnt understand the him stealing his kids dna thing. i really thought that was gonna gi in a different less bs direction #okay also while im here can i just say. that tyr and dylan had THE most romantic tension to me. everyone else felt very friendshipy and i am #NOT one to usually fall into a ‘they obviously should be together’ pipeline that the writers dont make themselves. but the back and forth ( #and intense eye contact) had me sitting there like. it was made in 2000 i know they wont do it but for not doing it they sure did! not that #i think they’d make a good couple (they would not) but that there was definitely something there on the dl you know? something more than #‘mutual respect’ you feel? and tbh! they also ruined the tyr beka thing by making her the matriarch. big ew huge ick.

[aeide-thea]

lol just found out the former owner of this property has been surveilling all our mail via usps's informed delivery service, to which he still has access because he never bothered to file a change of address with them even though it's been literal years at this point, and so now i get to put 'calling the post office to get him kicked off because what the actual fuck' on my to-do list for the day!

also: i found this out because he emailed my dad an image of a piece of mail he wants us (me) to forward to him. flames on the side of my face.

#like—i was mildly annoyed when i thought it was just him being lazy #but the fact that his inaction has given him ongoing access to peruse all the mail we receive? #which on the basis of this email he clearly does at least sometimes? #CREEPY. like yeah it's whatever but also it's the principle of the thing! #anyway. as much as anything i'm irritated bc i'm not running on enough sleep #but. greargh. 🦖 #(i mean‚ i'm also irritated bc my dad should have told him politely but firmly *years* ago that we'd forwarded more than enough of his mail #and that it was past time for him to file a change of address with USPS #but bc he's such a fucking doormat‚ the whole thing didn't get resolved #and is now *my* problem‚ unless i'm happy to let this guy keep viewing all my mail. which i'm not. #which is always how this works. #'i can't tell your uncle now isn't a good time‚ so i have to take his call in the middle of whatever we're doing!' #he doesn't respect himself and so he just absorbs everyone else's demands and passes them on to me‚ whom he also doesn't respect.) #anyway. have fully talked myself into a terrible mood now‚ time to stop tag spiraling. #journaling #mundanities #domesticities #…actually i lied‚ what REALLY gets my goat here is that my dad will almost CERTAINLY not acknowledge that anything abt this is an issue #because he just has basically no bandwidth ever and just wants to pretend everything is fine so he doesn't have to Do Feelings #and it becomes this really shitty really gendered thing where like. i get painted as the Crazy Woman Making an Unjustifiable Fuss #even though there are multiple aspects of this situation that it's in fact extremely reasonable for me to be unhappy with! #and it's just like. no fucking wonder i can't deal with anything‚ i can't even evaluate a situation without having my reaction invalidated #ok now that really IS all. grateful for yr patience in a Trying Time if you even got this far‚ lol.

[1o1percentmilk]

going to the doctor today which means i can ask abt anxiety medication... the problem is... the anxiety is nowhere to be found at this time of year

#most of the time im fine its oct-nov and april-may that's a shitstorm #i can't even remember half of what it was like last may but it was really bad #actually i do remember but i don't like to tell ppl bc then i realize just how insane i am #i did tell my siblings abt my drug problem a few days ago.. that was good to talk abt... maybe the doctor will be forgiving? #i don't know what to do because the issue has resolved itself for now but maybe i tell just in case #after all #i did that so that people would take me seriously #milk (normal) #cw drugs #vent

[galaxywhale]

Im trying so hard to work more as a team with my teaching partner and she’s making it soooo hard 🫠

#me last week: how about you plan art for Tuesday and I’ll plan history for Thursday #her: ok sounds good #me today (on Tuesday): do you want to do that art activity you didn’t get to last week? her: oh idk #me: we could do that or we could go take them to just play if you’d prefer #her: I’m good either way #and then this afternoon I was like ‘we should probably redo our timetables bc things have changed so we can’t have the same routine as last #term’ #and she was like ‘oh yeah X has them and was going to do history with them’ #and I’m like you mean the history I said I’d plan? were you going to like… talk to ME about this? #and don’t get me wrong I’m more than happy to do his history if he already has something #but we should probably at least like #talk about it lol #especially bc my number 1 ‘thing I want to do tomorrow in my planning time’ was ‘plan history unit’ #and THEN she kept talking about how she’s going to do dance with hers while mine are at music #and I’m like we want them to be doing the same thing tho so they should probably all do dance? #and she just…didn’t seem to get it #and when I was like ‘I’ve been doing SEL with them if you want to keep doing that with them’ #and she doesn’t seem interested at all in doing that #and like yeah dance and PE is fun and has benefits #but they also need to learn how to regulate their emotions and be a good friend and resolve social issues #and I’d argue that’s more important than extra PE or dance 🙃 #I literally tapped out by the end of the conversation lol #(this happened while they were playing btw) #(bc she was like I don’t have the stuff for art ready but I can cut it and I didn’t want to make her spend her 15 minute break preparing for #an art activity) #she just……..doesn’t seem to get that we need to TRY and plan TOGETHER and do the SAME thing #and yeah I suck at that but at least I’m trying !! #and she won’t make a decision like if I ask her do you want to do X or Y or are you doing X before Y?she’s like idk #and meanwhile /I/ need to /know/ what’s happening I can’t handle that level of uncertainty #especially when I’m working w somebody else