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hugshughes · 3 months

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𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐧 𝐇𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐱!𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐳𝐚𝐥 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐘/𝐧 𝐘/𝐥/𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐮𝐦, 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭. 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐰𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞. 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐟 𝐬𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭. 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐞? 𝐖𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞? 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐋𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬! 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐮𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐢'𝐦 𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜/𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥/𝐯𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨𝐬, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬' 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬! 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨! 𝐢 𝐝𝐨 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐘/𝐧'𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜, 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐛𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭, 𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐨, 𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐄𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡, 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐞𝐫, 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞!

♫ - 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝

𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 - 𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐲 𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 - 𝐡𝐨𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 - 𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡 𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝 - 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲 - 𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐲 𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐱 - 𝐥𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰 - 𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭, 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐤 - 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚 - 𝐡𝐨𝐳𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 - 𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡 𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫 - 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐲

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠! -

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 - 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐘/𝐧 𝐘/𝐥/𝐧? 𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫? 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐱? 𝐇𝐨𝐰'𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭? 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐚𝐮!

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 - 𝐒𝐡𝐞'𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤! | 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐮!

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 - 𝐓𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬! | 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐮!

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 - 𝐈'𝐦 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧' 𝐀𝐥𝐥-𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫. | 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐮!

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 - 𝐋𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. | 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐮!

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goodnightoilcountry · 12 days

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jo's nhl fic rec list !

hi - welcome to my attempt at being a fic writer again. i have a wip list in the works but first things first: my fic rec list of all the works i've found and adored.

if you don't know yet, you will know soon that i am such a sucker for angst. i hope you find something new to love from the list below !

i will aim to update this weekly with new additions have NEW tagged next to it. additionally, if any fics become archived / deleted i will also tag it as such.

* updated thursday 25 april 2024 *

weekly note: so, i've sadly had to remove summaries of each fic to make way for new fics. i'm going to think of a solution to work around this, but whatever i do, this will still remain the masterlist for my fic recs!

like my selection of fic recs? have a player who's not been featured? let me know and i'll go on a deep dive for you!

ANAHEIM DUCKS

better man (trevor zegras) by @starry-hughes

hard to forget (trevor zegras) by @hockey-fics

something about the sunshine (trevor zegras) by @huggybug word count: 3k

last night in anaheim (trevor zegras) by @itsjusthockey word count: 2.3k

CAROLINA CANES

do i really have to tell you (brady skjei) by @senditcolton

this is how it ends (sebastian aho) by @silverstonesainz-archive

i could love you with my eyes closed (sebastian aho) by @matthewtkachuk

finish line (sebastian aho) by @silverstonesainz-archive

lover boy (seth jarvis) by @sydnikov

being bold (seth jarvis) by @sydnikov

9PM in Vancouver (andrei svechnikov) by @thewintersoldierdisaster

in five (andrei svechnikov) by @sydnikov

NEW - sunkissed: pt 1, pt 2 & pt 3 (andrei svechnikov) by @sydnikov

NEW - all the pretty girls (pyotr kotchetkov) by @unluckyhoneybee

COLORADO AVS

summers back home (nathan mackinnon) by @happer08

crushes with beefcake (nathan mackinnon) by @ohmyeyesmyeyes

i didn't have it in myself to go with grace (nathan mackinnon) by @mattyanonwrites

monday morning (nathan mackinnon) by @matthewtkachuk

colorado (for the first time) (nathan mackinnon) by @withwritersblock

FLORIDA PANTHERS

subtle (matthew tkachuk) by @hockey-hoe-24-7 word count: 3.1k

you say you hate me (matthew tkachuk) by @pucksnsticksnhockeyboys

all for you (4 times you tried to tell Brady you loved him, and one time matty did it for you): pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4 & pt 5 (matthew tkachuk) by @comphersjost

4 times you fake a relationship + 1 time you didn't (matthew tkachuk) by @hockeywhy

4 times you didn;t find the one + 1 time you did (matthew tkachuk) by @hockeywhy

homecoming (matthew tkachuk) by @doc-pickles

NEW JERSEY DEVS

gin, tonic, and tequila shots (jack hughes) by @hockey-fics

stay the night (jack hughes) by @eyesthatroll

everybody wants you, but i don't like a gold rush (jack hughes) by @sunkissed-zegras

invisible string (luke hughes) by @hugshughes

tidal wave (luke hughes) by @babydollmarauders

drops of jupiter: pt 1 & pt 2 (jack hughes) by @youunravelme

breakable heaven series: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4 & pt 5 (jack hughes) by @chewingcyanide

hey, i can be your boyfriend (nico hischier) by @theemporium

second best (jack hughes) by @chewingcyanideA

my heart's racing, and it isn't the exercise (luke hughes) by @sunnyskiesscareme

head start (jack hughes) by @youunravelme

first rule of fight club (jack hughes) by @thatintrovertedwriter

valentines (nico hischier) by @hischierdevils

reaching out (jack hughes) by @bedsyandco

clumsy (jack hughes) by @babydollmarauders

a walk down memory lane (jack hughes) by @letsgetrowdy43

lover of mine (nico hischier) by @ohmyeyesmyeyes

you're not the one (nico hischier) by @ladylooch

moth to a flame (jack hughes & trevor zegras) by @itsjusthockey

when the party's finally over: pt 1 & pt2 (jack hughes) by @itsjusthockey

NEW - off limits: pt 1 & pt 2 (nico hischier) by @hischierhoney

NEW YORK ISLANDERS

five times everyone knew mat loved you & the one time mat realized himself (mathew barzal) by @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

bad luck charm (mathew barzal) by @matwith1t

show you (mathew barzal) by @islesnucks

to all the girls you've loved before: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6 (mathew barzal) by @youunravelme

the word wing-woman (mathew barzal) by @youunravelme

this is how you fall in love (mathew barzal) by @youunravelme

it's nice to have a friend (mathew barzal) by @youunravelme

we've come so far baby (mathew barzal) by @mendeshoney

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

cause i'm not ready (auston matthews) by @misshoneyimhome

3 times people asked you if you an auston were together + 1 time you finally are? (auston matthews) by @bedsyandco

we're parents? like actually parents? (auston matthews) by @austonwithan-o

moth to a flame (auston matthews ft mitch marner) by @marnerparty

VANCOUVER CANUCKS

lucky (quinn hughes) by @43-hugs

4 times everyone else caught on before the 1 time you and quinn finally did (quinn hughes) by @mrsensitive

5 times Quinn wanted to kiss you + 1 time he finally did (quinn hughes) by @bedsyandco

friend's don't (quinn highes) by @hischierdevils

third time's the charm (quinn hughes) by @thatintrovertedwriter

fearless (quinn hughes) by @theemporium

plus one (quinn hughes) by @bagopucks

growing up is (quinn hughes) by @adoristsposts

NEW - home (brock boeser) by @bedsyandco

NEW - nothing but love (quinn hughes) by @starry-hughes

NEW - can i be close to you? (quinn hughes) by @43-hugs

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midnightsnyx · 4 months

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hi friends and happy new year🖤

it's been a couple years since I did an end of year follow forever/thank you post but 2023 was a year so I figured it's a good time to do one. 2024 will mark nearly 10 years of me being on this site & I feel super thankful for the friends that I've made here. I won't get too sappy but I want to thank every single person who reads my stories because it makes my entire day when I get a note or re-blog on something that I write.

this past year has been filled with ups and downs but if I'm ever having a bad day, checking tumblr and seeing you all on my dashboard or in my notes always brightens my day.

wishing you all the best in 2024🖤

in no particular order, here are some of my follow forever blogs. if you're not already, gives these awesome people a follow. I definitely am missing some people so I'll probably update it at some point.

@magbane @barzysbaby @katherinejess @cellythefloshie @peterqvill @hockeymenorattractiveboys @2-fast-2-curious @bedsyandco @dxllasstars @itsjustwinter @barznasty @fallinallincurls @reesespieces10123 @thatintrovertedwriter @babydollmarauders @heavenlyhischier @findapenny @hugshughes @hischierhaze @dasiysthings @blueblazezz @notaccurateornice @celestialwrites @lover-of-mine @luvhughes43 @bitchinbarzal @shea-theodore @youunravelme @housewifebuck @rattkachuk @barzysunflower @lovinbarzal @heartz4hisch @hearts4hughes @guess-my-next-obsession @nessa007 @reavenedges-lies @habsjost @goodsticklehky @itsjuliak5 @dutch-tv-fan

#follow forever

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hugshughesy · 8 months

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hellooooo

this is @hugshughes main blog😭

if i respond to your comment it’s because i can’t with that blog

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hugshughes · 3 months

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𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒

𝐎𝐍𝐄 - 𝐒𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐟, 𝐘/𝐧 𝐘/𝐥/𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐡𝐮𝐦, 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞!

𝐰𝐜 - 1.4𝐤 (𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐡𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟!)

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 - 𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝! 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 (𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲!), 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲, 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐳𝐢, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥!

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - 𝐢 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐝𝐝 𝐢 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬!

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 - 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - @alwaysclassyeagle (𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰!)

real life! december 10th, 2023. 8:23pm EST.

"I'm gonna fucking throw up. I can't do it."

You earned a slap on the back of the head after the loud proclamation. You turned to your best friend with wide eyes, rubbing the spot she made contact with.

"No you're not. And yes you can! Everyone's gonna go ballistic, they miss you babe!"

You stared down at your phone, gazing at the text messages between you and your manager, she'd just given you the go ahead to post the announcement for your new album.

In reality, you knew they did miss you, but you were so nervous. Your new album was so special to you, and you wanted it to be recieved well. Every song was so complex and unique to you. It was the first album you would release since the worst breakup of your life. After you'd finally broken up with Mat, all you wanted to do was crawl into a hole and not talk to anyone for a year. Honestly, that's kind of what you did.

"I know. I just want everyone to love it like I do."

"They will, I promise. Everyone's gonna freak! Now, I have an idea."

"What?"

"After you post, we leave our phones down here and while we go get ready, and go to that bar you love!"

You smiled, that sounded fun. You opened Instagram, sliding to create a post. After choosing the photo of the new album cover, you typed out a caption.

"Okay, we can do that! That'll take my mind off of this. Now I just need to post, shit, I'm nervous."

You looked over and your best friend just smiled and nodding towards your phone. You sighed, biting your lip before hitting the post button. You refreshed your profile to make sure it posted before shutting your phone off, dropping it next to you on the couch.

Your best friend jumped up, grabbing your hands and pulling you to stand.

"Let's go, sweetheart. We're gonna go get you happy and tipsy."

You followed her upstairs and into your bedroom, standing at the door of your closet while she grabbed outfits to offer you. You let her dress you up like a little doll. She put you in a little black dress with a white bow under the bust. She added black boots and your outfit was complete. You both fixed up your hair and makeup before putting together your going out bags.

Once you were downstairs all you did was throw your phone into your little purse, not caring to check any of the notifications you were receiving. You climbed into her Black SUV before she pulled out of your driveway, starting to the city. You lived in a few different places, having two homes and an apartment in three different cities. Currently, you were staying in your house in New York, in a more suburban and residential area farther from the city.

You also had a house in Palm Springs and an apartment in Seattle, since that's where lots of your family currently was. The drive to the bar was about 40 minutes, all spent singing and dancing with your phone connected to CarPlay. You guys parked in a large parking garage before heading down the street into the bar. You walked quickly to get away from the cold, shivering beneath your large leather jacket.

The bar was always less crowded than most, since it was higher end, and you knew some of the staff. Your face lit up as you saw your favorite bartender wiping down glasses as you sat at the bar.

"Hi lady!"

Her head snapped up, a smile gracing her face while she greeted you.

"Aw hi! Oh my gosh, girl. I saw your announcement! You don't know how excited I am!"

Your heart warmed. This being the first reaction you heard to your announcement was definitely sweet.

"Stop, thank you so much! I've definitely been really nervous about it. I haven't even checked my phone since I posted it."

"Well you are going crazy viral, everyone is freaking out!"

You best friend gave you a knowing look, she had told you so. You blushed, thinking about your fans loving the new album. You got your drinks and went to sit at an empty booth in the back of the bar, a Cosmopolitan and a lemonade, since your best friend was designated driver. There were only a couple other groups here, around 10 other people.

After a bit, you two took a trip to the restroom. You took your jacket off while you best friend took photos of you in the mirror to post later.

After around two hours, you exited the bar, the time nearing midnight. You were astounded when you saw flashes of light blinding you as you began the walk to the garage. Paparazzi. Thankfully, you were in New York, and knew the guys.

"Oh, hi guys! What's up?"

"Hey Y/n! What's up with us? What's up with you?! Everyone saw the announcement earlier tonight! Personally, I can't wait!"

You smile brightly, New York paparazzi weren't like Los Angeles paparazzi. These were the guys you knew through Taylor, they were respectful and not pushy.

"Thank you so much! I'm so excited! I literally have not looked at my notifications since posting it, I was too nervous!"

"Can you tell us what the album's gonna be about? Maybe a little insight?"

"Well, the songs are all pretty different from each other, honestly. Some are more personal than others. But the genre of music isn't too steady through on this album, I jumped around a bit!“

They nodded, laughing along with you. You answered a few more questions and took a few more pictures before they let you go. You felt happiness settle into your stomach when you got comfortable in the car.

It wasn't until after you got home, and got ready for bed that you started looking through your new notifications. Many texts from friends congratulating you, news that you were trending on Twitter, and that you post had 6 million likes in five hours.

Your manager had also texted you that sometime soon you should post the back cover, especially since the first post was so well received.

First you posted the photo from the bar to your story before going to post the back cover, some how more nervous than before. The back cover had the track list on it, it would reveal the whole album. Scary.

"Just post it! I'm not going through this with you again."

Your best friend gave you a look, one that heavily reminded you of her mother, with a hand on her hip before she climbed into your bed next to you. You nodded, sighing as you hit the post button.

The two of you laid close and talked quietly, giggling and shushing each other like little girls scared their moms were going to come in and tell them to go to sleep.

Eventually you did fall asleep, the do not disturb setting stopping your phone from buzzing off the table.

social media!

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noahkahanmusic hell yeah!

y/nnation WEAREFREAKINGOUTOHMYGOSH

tatemcrae BEAUTYYYYYY

conangray this is kinda fire idk

oliviarodrigo YES!YES!YES!

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charlidamelio AHHHH

nicolassturniolo shaking in my boots

justinbeiber Can't wait!🔥

user IM CLAIMING THE MAN

user2 FALSE GOD IS MINE

haileybeiber OFFICIALLY OBSESSED!

25 minutes ago

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hugshughes · 3 months

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𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒

𝐙𝐄𝐑𝐎 - 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - 𝐘/𝐧 𝐘/𝐥/𝐧'𝐬 𝐕𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐨.

𝐰𝐜 - 600 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐘/𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭! 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲!

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 - 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢 𝐠𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘!!!!!, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞!𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐰 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐳𝐚𝐥, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐩, 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞(?)

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐢 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐰𝐧/𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜! 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬!

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐭. 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰!

Social Media!

thevogue.com/artists/yn-yln/#bio

Artists / Y/n Y/l/n

Pop Female Vocalist Indie Folk Post-teen Pop Singer-songwriter

Published December 2nd, 2023. 11:29AM PST

Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n (born January 11, 2001, in Annapolis, Maryland) is an American singer-songwriter. Y/l/n is a 3-time Grammy winner with a total of 11 nominations (as of October, 2023). As of October, 2023, Y/l/n has sold 26 million albums and 88 million singles worldwide.

Y/n Y/l/n is a internationally praised pop-indie phenomena. She quickly rose to fame at only 17 when she released her debut album Pause (February 19, 2018). Pause sold over a million copies in less than 48 hours, soaring to the top of the Billboard Hot 100 chart. 8 of Y/n's songs took place on the top ten and it took 41 weeks for Y/n's songs to exit the top 10. Pause racked up 3 Platinum singles, including Blouse, Innocent, and Bags.

Y/n Y/l/n's fame somehow skyrocketed higher when she released her second album Chaser (January 19th, 2020). The album features mostly love songs, rumored to be about her then boyfriend, NHL player Mathew Barzal. The album featured best sellers such as Cruel Simmer, Habits, and Happiness is a Butterfly.

As we stay on the topic of her ex boyfriend, she has been stuck in one scandal regarding her love life. In September of 2021, 20 months after releasing Chaser, there were paparazzi videos released of the IT couple in a shouting match on the street outside of popular restaurant, BOA Steakhouse, in Los Angeles, California. Video depicted Y/l/n crying as she fought with the hockey player, who was caught insulting Y/n very explicitly. The video ends with Barzal storming back into BOA Steakhouse, and Y/l/n sitting on the curb, awaiting her ride after the NHL star shouted, "Get a f***ing Uber back if you're going to be a b***h and embarrass me like this!" Bystanders watch as Y/l/n entered long time friend Tate McRae's car.

Less than a week later Y/n confirmed the end of the three year long relationship, with no further comments. While there have been no albums released since Chaser, in January 2020. Y/l/n has released two singles, Memories, and The Cut That Always Bleeds, both released in the summer of 2022.

As of now, December 2023, there has yet to be any major news of new music, but there's always the tiny bits and rumors that get down to the public. While Y/n has promised an album in 2024, she has yet to set a release, causing fans to believe it will come in the later months of the new year.

All in all, Y/n Y/l/n is a talented, young superstar. She captivates audiences like few can, and with the way her career is going now, could be one of the biggest star the world's ever seen. Most recently, Y/n was spotted in a cozy Baltimore suburb alongside Taylor Swift, who Y/n has repeatedly mentioned as her biggest influence when it comes to music, as well as her biggest fan. Swift seemed to take Y/n under her wing in 2019, even having Y/n open a stretch of her shows at The Eras Tour, in 2023, as well as the US shows in late 2024!

There are obviously large things in store for this young influential woman, and I can't help but applaud all of her hard work and dedication to her work.

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hugshughes · 1 month

Text

Casual J. McCarthy

JJ McCarthy x fem!reader

synopsis - Although your relationship with JJ has always been categorized as no strings attached, the way he makes you feel is anything but casual.

wc - 4.6k

contains - she's angsty :( takes place in a universe where JJ and Katya broke up during like spring 2023!!! friends with benefits but more!!! "casual" relationship that acts like more, cursing, kissing, making out, reader's not great family life is mentioned once or twice, sex references (no elicit smut!), caught feelings, arguing, misunderstanding, shouting, eating, crying, hurt with comfort??? i think that's it!!! lmk!

an - wowwwwww this oneeeee. this took me so long to write like SO FUCKING LONG. started it, got sick, got better, wrote some more, got sick again, got better, THEN FINALLY FINISHED! ummmm idk... OH! i was surprised with tickets to Olivia Rodrigo and flew out to her Charlotte show A WEEK AFTER I COME BACK FROM THERE FOR SPRING BREAK to go with my favorite person ever! and Chappell Roan is her opener currently and SHE PLAYED CASUAL AND I CRIED.

my friends call me a loser, 'cause i'm still hanging around.

You often got shit from your friends over your relationship with JJ McCarthy. If you could even truly call it a relationship. The two of you had gotten "together" around the beginning of the school year. He'd followed you on Instagram after meeting at a party. How romantic?

He and his long term girlfriend, Katya had broken up about 6 months prior and the boy was not ready for another true commitment of any kind. You'd also gotten dumped by your boyfriend of over two years over the summer, so honestly neither were you.

You two were strictly casual. Just two not quite friends but also definitely not dating kids who made out and fucked, but also cuddled and kissed each other with no sinful intentions. He took you on dates but God forbid you call him your boyfriend.

i've heard so many rumors, that i'm just a girl that you bang on your couch.

You knew people talked about you two. Girls at parties and in random classes in hushed conversations while they glared into the back of your skulls.

"No, she's not like his girlfriend. She's like his no strings attached side piece or something."

Your eye twitched when you heard it whispered all too loudly behind you in a marketing class. You sighed and shrunk into your chair, reminding yourself that you were gonna private your Instagram.

JJ treated you like his girlfriend, point-blank. It wasn't even like a switch from in private to in public. He always did. But nevertheless he always said that it was all informal. There had been many nights where you stayed up questioning it all. Was you falling sleep on his chest while he played with your hair and kissed your head just another Saturday night for him?

i thought you thought of me better. someone you couldn't lose.

JJ made you feel special, like you were special to him. Special was something you didn't feel often, not after how your ex treated you. You were lucky to even get the bare minimum from him, yet you stayed because he made you believe that was what you deserved.

You and JJ both truly cared about each other. Even though you two were not together, you guys did everything two people that were together did. You went on dates, went together everywhere, cuddled, kissed, had long conversations. It was hard to not imagine how it would feel for him to really be your boyfriend.

You remember the night JJ unknowingly broke your heart. You were at a party, and you'd left to get drinks for the two of you. You were walking back over when you heard one of JJ's friends ask a stupid question.

"Where's your little girlfriend, Jay?"

"Oh, we're not together."

you said "we're not together". so now when we kiss, i have anger issues.

He laughed awkwardly as he said it, rubbing the back of his neck. You turned around and explored the rest of the party for a little while before going back over to JJ. When you returned and stuck a can in his hand, he pulled your arm towards him and kissed you deeply. It was a good kiss, all kisses with JJ were, but it left you hurting.

you said, "baby, no attachment",

It was always the same with JJ. There would be a long while where you and him were in a blissful and amazing haze of acting like a couple without having to be one. Then someone would ruin everything by asking if you were together, causing you two to realize you acted too much like a couple.

You and JJ trusted each other entirely. You'd seen every inch of each other. Helped each other through the bad days, all of it. You'd held him in your arms while he cried over the pressure he felt because of football. You cheered him on at every game. You spent countless nights in each other's beds. He listened while you talked for hours about problems with your family.

but we're... knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out.

You'd done stuff with JJ you'd never have the heart to repeat to anyone. You got closer to each other than you'd ever been with anyone else, and still there was a strict separation between you.

Your head often drifted to one of the many nights you spent in intimacy with JJ. Flashes of you in the backseat of his truck, in his bed, his shower, all of the above. You never let the words JJ said to you while he groaned above you in bed get to your head. You wanted to believe them, but knew you were better off to not. He made you the happiest you'd ever been while also making you completely miserable sometimes.

is it casual now?

Over the winter JJ had even brought you to dinner with his family. You'd met his parents, and his sisters, and they immediately fell in love with you. They assumed you were his girlfriend, though he never actually said that. They were so glad to see their boy so incredibly happy after being in the dumps over Katya all summer.

You remember at that same dinner freezing in your seat when his mom had what she felt was a bright idea.

"Oh, JJ, she should come to the beach this summer!"

You had to awkwardly laugh it off, throwing a joking 'Maybe!' out as his sisters boasted about how that was a great idea. JJ smiled uncouthly, laughing and carelessly nodding his head. You knew that topic would never be brought up, JJ would definitely not be asking you to spend the summer with him.

two weeks and your mom invites me, to her house in Long Beach. is it casual now?

You liked to pretend he was your boyfriend, it wasn't that hard most of the time. You were exclusive with each other, that was made clear at the beginning of your "relationship". JJ said something about how he wasn't the type to see more than one girl, and that you were that girl for him.

You were the one with him when he won the National Championship. He'd invited you to sit with his family. Like, what the fuck? How were you supposed to not be in love with him?

You knew JJ only wanted something casual. You tried not to think about how he was probably just with you to get over his ex. He told you about her, sometimes. He said how he thought he was gonna marry her, but she didn't want that. You couldn't imagine why. JJ was everything you'd ever need in a man. He was stable, and loyal, and made you laugh so hard you cried. He cared for you, no matter the status of your relationship.

i know what you tell your friends. it's casual, if it's casual now. but baby, get me off again. if it's casual, it's casual now.

What you had going on with JJ was great, and you were in no position to ruin it with your stupid feelings. You didn't really care what you were, as long as it was with JJ.

Now you were getting ready to go over to JJ's apartment for the night. He invited you over a couple hours ago, telling you he wanted to watch some movies and hang out with you. Of course you said yes, how could you not? He'd just finished up with the NFL Combine a couple days ago. And spring break had just ended so you hadn't seen him since before then, you were excited.

You adjusted your hair for the fourteenth time before you were satisfied. You would only be going from your place to the car to JJ's apartment. You still wanted him to think you looked good, good enough to be more than just his fling.

You grabbed your small overnight bag filled with the barebones of your necessities and left your apartment, swiftly locking the door behind you.

You listened to low music while you drove lowly through the college town. It was only a seven minute drive, so you got there right away. You parked your car and sat for a second as you were overcome with a random wave of dejection. You took a deep breath, your brain reminding your heart not to get too excited. You shook off the feeling, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat and exiting your car, locking it behind you.

You knocked lightly on the door you'd walked through all too many times. Barely ten seconds passed before the door opened, a bubbly dirty blonde with the cutest smile you'd ever seen standing opposite you. JJ immediately grabbed you by the hips, pulling you to hug him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tucking your head into his shoulder. You let yourself believe all the stupid fantasies for just a second.

dumb love, i love being stupid.

"Missed you, gorgeous."

dream of us in a year.

You shut your eyes, squeezing him. He giggled, turning his head to kiss your neck. You felt his smile against your flushed skin.

"I missed you."

He held you tighter, pulling away to kiss your forehead and grab your hand. He shut the door behind you and pulled you further into his apartment. He led you to his bedroom before dropping your hand, turning to go back to the front of the apartment. You dropped your bag next to his bathroom door before taking your shoes off and tucking them just underneath his bed so they were out of the way.

maybe we'd have an apartment. and you'd show me off to your friends at the pier.

"How're you doin' pretty?"

JJ's voice echoed from the kitchen, you could literally hear his smile.

"'M doin' okay! Nothing new, y'know."

JJ heard something different in your voice. Something other than happiness, which obviously concerned him. You sat back on his bed, sighing.

"What's wrong? Sure you're good?"

"Yeah, it's fine! Some shit happened over spring break so I've just been a little out of it is all. Don't worry!"

The blonde came through the doorway again, this time holding a plastic bag with a logo you knew all too well. You gave him a smile that didn't aid his now worried mind.

"What happened? You could've called me."

"Oh come on, Jay. You were literally at the NFL Combine. I was not about to distract you with my stupid problems."

It's not like I'm your girlfriend. JJ shook his head as he sat the bag next to you, turning to open his closet door and rummage through his clothes.

"You can always call me. I wanna hear about all of your problems. You're my best friend, y'know."

i know, "baby, no attachment." but we're...

You winced, fuck. The man you were certain you were in love with just 100% friend zoned you. Just his best friend that he kissed, laid skin to skin with, told his family about.

knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out.

"I know! But still, you're Mr. National Champion and I'm not gonna bother you with dumb things."

"You're never bothering me. You don't bother me."

He came out of his closet, now shirtless and in new sweatpants. His eyes found yours and he raised his eyebrows, waiting for you to agree with him.

"Okay, okay, whatever. Come eat."

He climbed over you onto "his" side of his bed. You ate while asking him about the combine, as if you hadn't watched the videos of JJ's performance. You definitely appreciated how he looked in his tight red shirt.

"It was fun, nerve wracking as hell though. Kinda like made me realize that like I actually am going to the NFL. It's a lot closer than it feels."

He could say that again. You knew your time with JJ was coming to its end. Whenever he got drafted to an NFL team he wasn't gonna keep wanting a random girl from his old college. Not one that wasn't actually his girlfriend or anything. He'd find another one very quickly, you knew it.

"That's so scary. I couldn't imagine that. Having so many people depend on you for their happiness is too much. But you're good at it."

He threw you a smile, moving closer to you.

"I just love it. It's so fun for me. Obviously not like losing but having so much support is actually really nice sometimes."

You nodded, trying to fathom how it was possible for the boy to be so positive always. You both were done eating so JJ took all of your trash and threw everything into the garbage. When he came back he pulled you closer to him, your head on his shoulder and your back to his chest.

"But enough about football. How was spring break? D'you have fun?"

"Um, yeah! For the most part it was really fun. Florida was fun but when I went home for the last three days it was honestly the worst. My mom was so mean for no reason the whole time, I don't know."

He ran his hands over the tops of your thighs before wrapping his arms around your hips. He kissed the side of your head sweetly, not moving as he spoke into your hair.

"'M sorry baby. Y'don't deserve that."

"Eh it's whatever. I'm used to her not being my biggest fan at this point."

JJ felt so bad. He couldn't relate to you on this level. He'd never know what it feels like to not have good parents.

"Well if it helps any, my mom's your biggest fan, to be completely honest. She keeps texting me to make sure you know you're invited to the beach this summer."

two weeks and your mom invites me, to her house in Long Beach.

It comforted and hurt you all the same. There's no way you could accept that invitation, no matter how sweet it was. You couldn't survive a week with his family while still only being casual. No way in hell.

"That's really sweet, Jay."

You shifted in his arms, turning so your cheek laid against his bare chest. You smiled and lightly kissed his pec.

is it casual now?

"So, what are we watching, Jay?"

"Whatever you want."

It was just another small thing that made you fall harder for him. You didn't know how much longer you could pretend like you didn't want him more than physically.

"How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days?"

"Are you plotting or somethin'?"

You can't lose something that isn't yours. Your smile faltered but you let out a forced giggle, telling JJ to just play the movie. You watched the majority of the movie in silence, answering JJ's questions whenever he had them. At some point the movie got boring, you'd seen it a million times before. You started running your nails over JJ's pec, unknowingly distracting him. He traced his hand up your back and to your hand on his chest, interlocking his with yours.

i know what you tell your friends. it's casual, if it's casual now.

You leaned away from him just a bit to look him in the eyes. You stared at each other for just a few seconds, just until JJ took his hand out of yours, grabbing ahold of your jaw. The thoughts filling your mind seemed to quiet down as JJ kissed you. The kiss quickly grew hot as JJ's hands traveled back down your body. Your tongue hit the seam of his lips, a downright immoral sound leaving his mouth.

You shifted onto your knees over JJ, the connection between you persistent. Your hands ran through his hair, tugging slightly at the dirty blonde locks.

but baby, get me off again. if it's casual, oh, oh, oh.

Your chest pressed against his as he pulled you closer, leaving no space between you. Every move of JJ's mouth and hands cushioned your spiraling thoughts, muting them. Your could focus your thinking on nothing but the physicality of the situation. Until JJ shifted his hands to the curve of your ass and gentley moved so your back was flush with his comforter, the quarterback kneeling over you. It was the position change as much as what he groaned out when your lips parted for just a moment that had you stopping in your tracks.

"Fuck, my girl."

His girl. His girl? How could you be his girl? You didn't mean to hesitate in your kiss with JJ but you did, pausing for just a second. Though it was long enough for JJ to notice and immediately grow concerned. He pulled back from you, his eyes full of worry. Did you not want this?

"Hey, what's wrong? We don't have to do anything, you know that. Right? Sorry I got carried away, baby."

He comforted you immediately, like a man who loved you would. Not like a no strings attached fuck friend would. It soothed you but also made you ache even more. Why did he have to act like he cared? It wasn't fair.

"No, Jay. Sorry, it's fine. I just,"

You trailed off, wanting to hide from his concerned blue eyes. You kind of wished he'd get pissed off that you were hesitant, asking 'The fuck is wrong with you?' instead of being the most gentle and loving person you'd ever known.

"Hey, it's more than okay. Alright? Is something else wrong?"

Yes. Something else was wrong. You're in love with JJ but he's unattainable. You wondered if he knew, if he knew and was still treating you the same just to keep you loyal. Your silence proved JJ right, something was seriously wrong.

"Talk to me, okay? I wanna make you feel better."

You finally looked into his eyes. He was now next to you, laying on his side, confused and concerned.

This is where it ends, you told yourself. There really wasn't a way around telling him, and all you could do was imagine his reaction. You sat up, crossing your legs and looking down at your hands. How the fuck were you supposed to start this? Do you just break it off with no explanation, or let him do it after you tell him you're in love?

"Well I just, I don't know if I can do this anymore, JJ. And I'm sorry, I really-"

"What? That's really not what I thought this was about."

He was shocked, his chest tightened as he leaned away from you, moving off the bed to stand. He crossed his arms over his chest for some comfort.

it's hard being casual, when my favorite bra lives in your dresser.

"JJ, I'm sorry, really. I just, we're supposed to be strictly casual and it's honestly kinda hard when we're so close to each other. Like a quarter of my clothes are in your closet! It's just kind of a lot."

You too stood from his bed, now standing on opposite sides. You didn't want to hurt JJ, but it would only hurt you worse and worse in the end if you kept letting yourself indulge in him.

"Baby, what changed? I thought everything was fine the way it was."

it's hard being casual, when i'm on the phone talking down your sister.

"Jayj, it's just kind of a lot of pressure. Like, we FaceTime your sister when we hang out! Your mom invited me to your summer vacation! Like how is that casual?"

JJ stood there, astounded. He was shocked you felt this way. He thought everything was better than okay. He would've never guessed it all felt too relationship-y for you.

"So, what? Are you like breaking up with me, or?"

"That's exactly my point, JJ! What do you mean by breaking up? There's nothing solid in between us! Our quote unquote label is 'friends that fuck but also sometimes just lay skin to skin and talk for hours on end'. That's fucking confusing JJ! I don't get you!"

and i try to be the chill girl, that holds her tongue and gives you space. i try to be the chill girl but, honestly, i'm not.

Your volume rose as felt tears pricking behind your waterline. You brought your hands to your eyes, rubbing aggressively with the heel of your palms. JJ was so hurt. He didn't think of you as just something casual, not since the very beginning had he thought you two were just random and informal. He knew you two weren't a couple, but he didn't think of you as anything near just his fuck buddy. Watching you, obviously distraught, almost crying in his bedroom over him being too much of a boyfriend had JJ rethinking himself.

"Am I too much? I thought we were more than that to you. I thought I was more than that."

"You are! You are and it's ruining my fucking life!"

knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out. two weeks and your mom invites me, to her long beach house. i know what you tell your friends. baby, get me off again.

You shouted, tears starting to fall down your face. You tried to wipe them away as you hiccuped, cutting JJ off before he could respond.

"You tell me all you want is something casual so that's what I give you! I was there when you needed it, I left you alone otherwise. But then you just didn't let me go! You make me feel important! And like I'm special to you, then I hear you tell your friends we're nothing serious! I met your family, I went to your championship game and sat with them! Do you know how fucked that is? To tell a girl that is obviously invested in you that she means something to you then doing that! I just- I really wanted you to like me, for real. And you act like you do! But I know you don't really care about what we are. I can't pretend to not like you more than that, JJ. It's not fair anymore."

i fucked you in the bathroom, when we went to dinner.

Holy shit. You'd just practically told JJ you were in love with him. He was even more confused now, was this a joke?

your parents at the table, you wonder why i'm bitter?

"What are you talking about? This hasn't been casual to me since fucking October! I do this shit because I like you! Like, I really like you! You know, before I got broken up with in February last year, I thought I was ready to fuckin' marry her. And then seven months later you come into my life, and you're supposed to be this girl that I'm not really committed to, and that distracts me from how hurt I am. But, I'm more in love with you than I ever was with her! And I thought I would spend my entire fuckin' life with her! Do you know how scary that is? That someone I've known for barely seven months is making me feel more than the girl I dated for years! I'm terrified, it fucking sucks!"

bragging to your friends, i get off when you hit it. i hate to tell the truth, but i'm sorry dude you didn't.

Your mouth fell open, pupils constricting under the haze of tears. JJ just told you he was more in love with you than the girl he thought was gonna be his wife. His tears were flowing by the end of his emotional outburst. He buried his head in his hands, turning away from you.

You couldn't believe what you'd heard. The boy you were convinced didn't want you enough to really have you had just poured his entire heart out over how much he loved you. You were in love just as hard.

You moved slowly around his bed, watching for signs of him shifting again. You gently grabbed his wrists, urging his hands from his face. You jumped to throw your arms around his neck, wrapping him in a hug. His arms wrapped around you so tightly, he cried into your shoulder.

i hate that i let this drag on so long. now, i hate myself.

"I'm sorry."

"'M so sorry."

You both let out your apologies at the same time, causing JJ to let out a wet giggle into the crook of your neck.

"I just love you so much."

Your heart squeezed as JJ spoke into your shoulder, teary and sweet. You loved him just as much. You couldn't believe what was happening.

"I've been in love with you since you took me to the lake."

You whispered it slowly, muffled by his shoulder. On that chilly day in November JJ had driven you guys an hour or so to the coast of the nearest Great Lake, Lake Erie. You ate of the sandy shore and watched the water. It was one of the first times you two were together where it really felt like you were boyfriend and girlfriend.

You'd realized he was the sweet and caring one you'd been waiting for for so long. And it ruined you.

JJ squeezed you tighter. A little sob mixed with a giggle shaking through him. He sniffed, kissing your neck gently.

"I didn't wanna believe I was in love with you, as obvious as it was. I was scared of really being in love after what had happened before. You were just so amazing, and kind, and you listened to me. I've been trying to push it away 'cause I didn't think it was how you felt. Which I can't believe you didn't just tell me, by the way."

You giggled now, pulling away from his shoulder to look at him, jaw dropping.

"Alright, Mr. I don't really need anything serious right now I'm still hurt over my ex. Yeah, sorry I never told you I was in love."

JJ just kissed you, and it felt so incredibly right. Kissing the boy you loved, in his bedroom, where half of your clothes lived. The boy who's whole family, including him, loved you and thought you were perfect for him. You smiled against his lips, you just couldn't help it.

"Can't believe you went from friend zoning me to telling me you loved me in two hours."

JJ pulled away from you abruptly, confusion filling his face.

"When did I friend zone you? I didn't do that!"

"'You can always call me. I wanna hear about all of your problems. You're my best friend, y'know.' It wasn't very soothing to a girl who was actively debating telling you she was in love with you."

"Well you are my best friend! But also the girl I want so, two for one."

You laughed, rolling your eyes playfully as you pulled him by his neck to kiss you. You both couldn't help it as you smirked and giggled into your kiss, hands and minds wandering.

JJ pulled back from you for just a second, causing you to groan.

"Can I be your boyfriend?"

Your annoyance was quickly replaced, your eyes widening. You just smiled and nodded pulling him back in.

"Duh."

Your boyfriend squeezed your ass at your playful response, kissing you deeper. Your head was spinning, JJ was finally yours, for real. You were his girlfriend and he was your boyfriend. And one day, you'd walk down the aisle with him waiting at the altar, not that either of you knew that now. So much for keeping your relationship casual?

i hate that i let this drag on so long. you can go to hell.

167 notes · View notes

hugshughes · 2 months

Text

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐍𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒

𝐓𝐖𝐎 - 𝐓𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐛𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 - 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝! 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝.

𝐰𝐜 - 𝟐𝐤 𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐡𝐡 𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 - 𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐢𝐭!

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 - 𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐩! 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐭𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈’𝐦 𝐛𝐪𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤! 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐡𝐡𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐑!!! 𝐈𝐌 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒! 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐎𝐇 𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐎 𝐈𝐌 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀 𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐎 𝐀𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐒 𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑!!! 𝐟𝐲𝐢! 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐜𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭!

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 - 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - @alwaysclassyeagle

real life! january 15th, 2024. 11:49pm EST

"Everyone's gonna hate it."

"Will you shut the fuck up please?"

You gigged, throwing your head back. You were in your living room of your New York house, surrounded in a group of friends and family. Your brother and sister-in-law had even come out all the way from Seattle. You sat crisscrossed on the rug, your phone bussing relentlessly against your thigh. The album dropped in 11 minutes.

You stood from your spot on the rug, sliding across the hardwoods in your socks to the kitchen. You opened your fridge and pulled out the bottles of champagne, alcoholic and not, you'd picked for the album drop.

You heard your name called from behind you, turning around and seeing your big brother.

"Oh hey!"

"Hey. It's stupid and sappy but I just wanted to tell you I'm really proud of you for this. So impressed that my little sister is way more popular and talented than me."

You giggled, your heart warming.

"Thank you, seriously. And you could probably be a famous tiktoker or something, just drop my name and immediately you get a million views!"

He rolled his eyes, barking out a laugh, coming around the counter. He grabbed the four bottles from the counter and left to go back to the living room. You quickly grabbed enough glasses for the group, carefully juggling them all in your hands as you walk back to the living room.

Released songs of yours were playing from the surround sound system in the living room, a countdown clock on the TV. There was just over 5 minutes left until everyone had your album.

Your friends sung along as Cruel Summer ended. You smiled at the amount of love filling the room. The smile that graced your face faltered when you heard the opening of The Cut That Always Bleeds. It was one of your most famous songs, but still hurt to hear, even more so to sing.

'cause if you're gonna leave, better leave, better do it fast. can't live a little longer sitting on your lap.

Your best friend stiffened upon hearing the lyrics, turning to find you by the door. She gave you a distressed look, mouthing, 'wanna turn it?' to you. You shook your head, giving her a forced smile. It was your song anyway, you couldn't hide from it.

You shook off the feeling the song gave you, setting all of the champagne glasses down.

"Okay, five minutes left! Um, I just want to thank you guys for coming! You guys are my favorite people and my biggest supporters. So yeah, thanks!"

Your friends all made noises of agreements, your sister-in-law hugging you.

"I know this song hurts you, girl. But shit, are your vocals something else on it."

You giggled, grinning widely at her. She was one of your favorite people in the world. You'd known her since you were 15, and she and your brother were both 19.

"I love you. Oh wait, I have a secret to tell you!"

Her eyes widened, nodding eagerly at you.

"Tell me now!"

You leaned closer, whispering into her ear.

"Deluxe version of Persuasion drops February 1st."

She pulled away from you, jaw dropping.

"You're joking! Are you serious? Oh my gosh!"

You giggled, nodding repeatedly at her. She was the second person other than your recording/producing crew and your agent who knew. Only your best friend, who now sat across the room giving you a smirk, also knew.

Someone shouted '90 seconds!' from across the living room, causing your skin to prick with goosebumps. Shit, were you nervous. Cruel Summer began when there were roughly 45 seconds left until the drop, making you feel better.

You watched as the timer ran down, an uncertain feeling running through you. Sure, you were so excited to be releasing new music. But, some of the song were personal, some were about Mat.

Your living room erupted as the clock hit midnight, your best friend jumping to grab the TV remote, opening the Apple Music app and searching for Persuasion. Your friends hugged you, cheering as your brother handed you a champagne bottle to pop open. You messily poured tall glasses over your coffee table as you heard Happier Than Ever start playing from the TV.

No one except for you, your manager, and your producers had heard Persuasion all the way through. Even your best friend had only heard a few of the tracks. She made it so the lyrics were on the TV, and your friends watched intently as the song played.

You stared at the TV, downing your second glass of champagne when you caught pitiful glances when you heard 'You clearly weren't aware that you made me miserable.' Everyone in the room knew the details of your relationship with Mat, clearly.

Your best friend's smile widened at Happier Than Ever ended, knowing her favorite of the few she'd heard was next. All-American Bitch. She stood from her place on your couch, sauntering over to you. She pulled you up from your spot, beckoning all your friends up to the carpet. When the base drops, they all start dancing around, jumping up and down. They look uncoordinated and silly, but it's sweet all the same. You give up your cool girl front and sing along, dancing with no cares.

You all danced and sang as the album kept playing. By the time Teenage Dream came on, you laid on the couch with your head in your drunk best friend's lap. It was nearing 1am as you walked your friends out to Ubers.

You sat on your couch alone after sending your brother and sister-in-law to bed in the guest room. The album was now only quietly playing on loop from the TV, Memories echoing through the first floor. You shut off the TV, grabbing your phone for the first time in a little while. You saw texts from many of your friends, family, and a couple from your manager. She congratulated you and said to call her in the morning. She had only sent it a few minutes before so you quickly texted back, asking if she wanted to call tonight.

Your phone started ringing, and you quickly swiped to answer.

"Hi!"

"Hi love! The album is already going off! There's so much love for it! And I wanted to let you know that we let Ellie stay up to listen and she loved it."

Ellie was your managers 7 year old daughter, and one of your favorite people.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so glad, I'll have to talk to her about it soon. And yeah, I mean I just picked up my phone for the first time since before the drop and wow, I'm like completely blowing up."

"Because this album is to die for!"

You giggled, your manager's British accent always made you smile.

"Oh right! The reason I need to call you. So, I know this is a lot, and I know you might not want to and that's completely fine."

She paused, your eyebrows scrunched. Huh?

"But, I just had some people reach out earlier tonight and the NHL has invited you to be one of the celebrity coaches for the NHL All-Star Series."

Holy shit. What? The NHL wanted you?

"Seriously? Holy fuck."

"I know, I know. Obviously Mathew will be there but I think it would be a bad bitch move personally. You'd be on Team Hughes is what they told me, and you'd perform during halftime at one of the games."

"Okay, that's so crazy. Wow, um-"

Your manager cut you off before anything else could leave your mouth.

"Oh, also! Can't believe I forgot, but, Tate is also doing it! The celebrities get announced in a couple days. The 20th I believe, and your invitation was pretty last minute because whomever was set up to be there before had to drop it. I understand if you don't want to, but it'd be good for the album, and your brand."

You were unsure, but the voice in your head was screaming fuck Mathew Barzal and you decided to agree with it.

"You know what, yeah! This'll be fun, I mean I still love hockey. I didn't let him ruin it for me. And if Tate's going that makes two singers with less famous NHL exes as celebrity captains."

"Yes! Awesome, I knew you'd want to. I'll confirm with them in the morning. I love you! Persuasion is amazing and beautiful. Goodnight sweetheart."

You told her you loved her and goodnight before hanging up. Holy shit, you were seriously doing this.

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Liked by NHL, and 75,826 others

yourusername Persuasion is out now! I cannot believe the immense support the album has already recieved! Thank you all so so much, you are my everythings. Hopefully Persuasion can comfort the lonely and help explain me! I love you all, more to come soon ⭐️🤍🫂

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26 minutes ago

taylorswift I'M OBSESSED

tatemcrae MY BABY SO TALENTEDDDDD

user1 what is the NHL doing here?

haileybeiber Mamaaa❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

yourusername added to their story!

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hugshughes · 7 months

Text

nav 'n intro

hi, i'm Lei or Leila!

my main blog (since tumblr is a bitch) is @hugshughesy ! so any notifications u get from that account are from me!

requests are open!! i accept requests (fluff, angst, smut, you name it!) for anyone on this list and even other guys that might not be on there, just ask!

masterlist + includes who i write for!

my 100 follower folklore celebration!

recent - Liquid Courage / JJ McCarthy

upcoming! - Sidelines (Luke Hughes) - Forever (Jack Hughes) - His Jersey (Blake Corum) - Work Song (Alexander Holtz)

#navigation #hugshughes folklore celebration #hugshughes

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hugshughes · 9 days

Text

𝐔𝐏𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐓𝐏𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐒!!!!

But Daddy I Love Him - Colston Loveland x Minter!Reader

The Alchemy - Colston Loveland x Minter!Reader

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Undecided (One of the Hughes, Trevor Zegras, Mitch Marner, Mathew Barzal. Let me know.) x Fem!Reader

The Tortured Poets Department - Undecided (Same list as above) x Fem!Reader

So Highschool - JJ McCarthy x Fem!Reader

If you cannot tell, The Tortured Poets Department heavily affected me as a human. I hope you guys are as excited for these as me!!! These are definitely gonna take time, these songs are so long and hard to unpack but we'll do it together. I would LOVE you forever if you suggested a love interest for the two undecided fics above, thank you!

EDIT: Vote here for the TTPD Title Song love interest!

#the tortured poets department #ttpd #hugshughes #colston loveland #jj mccarthy #jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #trevor zegras

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hugshughes · 8 days

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐨𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

So, if you've seen this post you know that I'm writing a handful of fics based on some of the new songs from Taylor Swift's new album!!!

I've gotten three or four anon messages voting for Jack Hughes to be the love interest in The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived! That's who's been chosen for now, but let me know if you guys would prefer one of the other guys listed.

Anyways! I haven't gotten any feedback for the title song so I'm holding a vote!!!

EDIT: I've decided the second most voted man will get a fic to thee So Long, London.

#hugshughes #the tortured poets department #ttpd #jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #mitch marner #trevor zegras #mathew barzal

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hugshughes · 5 months

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invisible string L. Hughes

Luke Hughes x fem!reader

synopsis - Luke had been one of your closest friends since childhood. Somehow, everything in both of your lives just came back to each other.

wc - 3.8k

contains - cursing, literally nothing, extremeeeeeeeee fluff, kissing, hugging, cuddling, (im just a girl ok), obliviousness, this is a bittttt cliche... THEY CONFESS AND KISS IN THE RAIN OK???? idiots in love, eating and drinking. TAKES PLACE SUMMER 2023 (like end of May???)

an - SLIGHTLY EDITED!!! im hunrgy. anyways THIS WAS SO FCUKINF CUTE TO WRITEEEEEEE. my luke baby is so invisible string😇😇😇😇. ugh i miss him. i (possibly intoxicatedly) karaoked better man by Taylor Swift the other night just fyi. my author notes are like my personal diary because i assume no one reads them. i could prob say my ss number and full name address and no one would ever know. do u guys know how fuckign embarrassing it is to reread a fic u posted a few days ago and find typos like u guys probably think im stupid and hate me now. this was not at all about Luke Hughes or Invisible String... ENJOY BABIES!!!!

green was the color of the grass, where i used to read in centennial park. i used to think i would meet somebody there.

You were what some would call a hopeless romantic. You loved love. You loved reading it, watching it, seeing it in real life, it was just beautiful to you.

You'd grown up with the Hughes boys. They were your neighbors during the summer, your family's lake house being next to theirs. You were the same age as their youngest son, Luke. You two were ride or dies during the summer, and when you finally got a phone in seventh grade, you two texted the rest of the year.

It was finally summer, your school year at Notre Dame had come to a close and you were able to fly home and go to the lake with your family all by May 13th. You watched the final Canes games against the boys, you were sad for them, but so proud of your best friend.

It was nearing June, and you were alone in the lake house, opting out of the afternoon boat ride for some peace and quiet. You walked through the halls, stopping at the dresser covered in summer photos. You and your brother, you and Luke, more you and Luke, and some of your brother and the Hughes.

teal was the color of your shirt, when you were sixteen at the yogurt shop. you used to work at to make a little money.

You noticed one of your favorite photos wasn't there, the one of you and Luke when you were about 16, you're both standing behind the counter at the ice cream place you two worked at during that summer. You spent all day with Luke during those days, and it was the best.

You opened the dresser the photos sat on, seeing more photos. The ice cream shop one, and one you weren't anticipating. You didn't know your mom had printed and framed it. It was you and Luke the summer you were 18, both smiling at the camera with the sunset in the background as you sat on his lap in an Adirondack chair in the backyard of the Hughes' house.

The photo gave you crazy butterflies. That summer was the last time you saw Luke during the summer. Last summer you two were both at the lake at different times, you'd seen his whole family, minus him. His mom told you how he was still with his college teammates on a different Michigan lake. You had to act like you didn't really care, even though you did, so much.

Since the picture was just sitting in the dresser, not on display, you decided to take it to your room. You placed it gently on your bedside table, smiling then leaving to go down to the pool.

time, curious time. gave me no compasses, gave me no signs.

It was weird how you and Luke always seemed to be pulled together. There was some driving force between you two that was unbreakable, not even if you wanted it to. When it wasn't the summer, you lived three hours from the Hughes family, so randomly bumping into Luke was even more bizarre than anything else.

You remember when you were 15, you and your mom were picking up dinner one night at a local place and in walks Luke, Jack, and Ellen. You squealed when you saw him, running over to say hey. The boys had been in town for hockey, weirdly enough.

Interactions like that happened way more often than normal, you randomly bumped into the boy at least once every two or three months for years.

were there clues i didn't see? and isn't it just so pretty to think,

You remember when you were surprised by Luke at age 17. He came and surprised you as your prom date and you were floored. He had flowers and a corsage for you, and his tie matched your dress perfectly. Your moms thought it was the cutest thing ever, how you both blushed and giggled when near each other.

all along there was some invisible string, tying you to me?

Even though you two couldn't seem to get away from each other, neither of you ever made a move romantically. It just didn't seem realistic, you already lived hours away from each other and were going to colleges even farther, well Luke was going to the NHL but you get the point.

You guys were just best friends, always best friends. Your families knew, especially his brothers. They were your biggest fans, probably because they saw how you made their baby brother, how soft he was with you. You made him gentle, but also made him more comfortable and talkative, which Quinn and Jack loved.

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Luke made you weak, and your family noticed. You could jokingly bicker with him, but when it came down to real disagreement, you never could with Luke. He just gave you those deep hazel eyes and you were melted on the floor. He was just that person for you. The one who could ask you to do anything under the sun and you'd do it for his praise.

You spent long nights with Luke, sitting in the backyard of one of your lake houses and watching the moon and stars and talking about anything. You could listen to Luke talk about property tax for hours and probably never get bored, that's how much you admired him.

bad was the blood of the song in the cab, on your first trip to L.A. you ate at my favorite spot for dinner.

You remember the weirdest instance of your bumping into each other, you were in Los Angeles with friends during the very beginning of winter break and saw Luke eating in the same restaurant as you with a couple of his friends.

You texted him, not believing what you were seeing. You asked him if he was in L.A. When he responded 'Yes just for a few days why' you were shocked. You stood and made your way across the noisy restaurant and went up to his table, where you put your hand on his shoulder and when he turned around, he was the most surprised he'd been in a long time.

You remember he jumped up, hugging you so tightly, pulling away with his jaw still dropped. You guys always told each other you had to stop meeting 'like this', but it never seemed to stop.

The next day, you two planned to branch out from your friends and meet up for lunch. You guys drove a little ways from Los Angeles, east into the country, and ate at the cutest restaurant that had a view of a lake. You two always found yourselves together by lakes.

bold was the waitress on our three year trip, getting lunches down by the lake. she said i looked like an american singer.

You remember how bold your waitress was at that restaurant, immediately boasting about how she thought you two were the cutest couple she'd ever seen. Your face was burning hot, trying not to have a breakdown in the middle of the restaurant. It got even worse when Luke didn't correct her and just said 'Thank you', instead.

That was the last time you saw Luke, you were hoping to see him very soon, though. It had been almost two weeks since the loss to the Canes, so it made sense for the boys to be arriving soon. You'd already seen Ellen and Jim a couple of nights on the back porch with your parents, but no 6'2 boys named Luke were to be seen.

time, mystical time. cutting me open then healing me fine. were there clues i didn't see?

You'd had two boyfriends in your life. One in your 8th-grade year and freshman year of high school, then one in your junior year of high school. You'd broken up with boyfriend #2 because you realized you compared him to Luke, every move he made, you compared to Luke. It made you feel terrible, but you were head over heels for another boy.

You and Luke had your senior sunrises on the same day during your senior years, and decided to skip them and drive to the lake to watch the sunrise together. Your moms were furious, but it was one of the best memories you had with him.

Your interest in each other was so painfully obvious that most of your and his family referred to you as his girl during the summer. 'Where's Luke's girl?', or 'We're just waiting for Moose's girl.' It was never when you two were in the same room, so your reactions were always priceless.

and isn't it just so pretty to think, all along there was some invisible string, tying you to me?

Your family was back from their afternoon boating escapade and you could hear them all bustling in. The second they walked in you heard your brother shout for you.

"Moosey's girl! Come down here!"

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You blushed madly, getting up from your bed and walking down the stairs with an annoyed look on your face. When you got to the bottom of the stairs you could see your sister-in-law slapping your brother across the back of his head, telling him to leave you alone.

"What do you want?"

You immediately went from annoyed to overjoyed when your almost two year old niece ran over to you, shouting out your name. You picked her up, giving her a kiss on her tubby cheek, embracing her sandy and salt water ridden love.

"We're going out to dinner in like, an hour and a half? Honestly just whenever we can get that little monster bathed and dressed."

You nodded but immediately jumped to defend your little best friend.

"This thing? This baby is an angel, aren't you?"

The little girl nodded, a sassy smile on her face as she tried to say 'angel, dada.' in her slurred toddler speech.

"See?"

Your brother gave you both a look, before springing into action to grab his baby, tickling all the giggles and sqeals out of her.

You talked and played for a little longer before getting ready to go. You quickly showered and dried your hair, putting on a little linen white summer dress, and your old pair of Birkenstocks. You drove with your brother and sister-in-law on the way to dinner, sitting next to your niece in the backseat.

a string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms, right into that dive bar.

You guys were seated immediately at the restaurant, you sat between your sister-in-law and dad at the table, just close enough to talk to your favorite niece.

The restaurant was a popular spot for locals and tourists near the lake. It had a big bar in the middle and lots of tables surrounding, it was loud, but not obnoxious, and very homey. You'd probably been there over a hundred times in your life.

You were watching a random golf tournament on one of the many TVs in the bar when your brother called out your name. You looked up and the look on his face was excitement and shock.

"Look who happened to show up!"

something wrapped up all of my past mistakes, in barbed wire. chains around my demons. wool to brave the seasons.

He pointed behind him, and your eyes followed the trail to the entrance, where you saw none other than Luke Hughes standing with his family, waiting to be seated. Your jaw dropped, and a smile came over you. You saw Quinn hit Luke and then point directly at you, and when your eyes met Luke's, you could've fainted. He was in khakis and a white polo and looked so handsome.

You stood up, mumbling something to your family before practically running over to the entrance, throwing your arms around Luke.

one single thread of gold tied me to you.

"Holy shit."

Luke had his arms wrapped around you so tightly, he was so surprised to see you. He knew he would have seen you tomorrow if not tonight but he still just missed you and was shocked.

"We have gotta stop meeting like this."

You giggled when you pulled away from him, as reluctant as you were on the inside. You quickly hugged the rest of his family, not without Jack whispering, 'hey Moose's girl' to you.

You pleaded with the bar staff to push more tables together so you could sit with the Hughes, and it didn't take much convincing, seeing they'd known you since you were 6.

You sat next to Luke after the readjustment for the new tables, now sitting between him and your niece, who had all but thrown a fit about how she wanted to sit by you, not her dad, which made you laugh in his face.

At some point, you'd taken the baby from her high chair and brought her into your lap. You and Luke were both in your little world with her, she was so cute and loving. You guys didn't notice how practically the whole table stared at you with knowing eyes, they all knew, everyone except for you two.

The food came, and the baby was back in her seat. You just talked and talked and talked to Luke. You'd last seen him in December, and there was just so much to say. You'd both had tons of stuff happen to you, his NHL career, your career, everything was so exciting to tell him about.

Luke was so heavily infatuated with you, it was funny. His brothers watched as he folded for you so easily, admiring every syllable that left your mouth, nodding like a man possessed. They mumbled to each other, making fun of their baby brother's obliviousness.

cold was the steel of my axe to grind, for the boys who broke my heart. now i send their babies presents.

At some point, dinner got a little bit boring so you pulled out your phone, and what popped up was the baby registry you were buying something off of for your ex-boyfriend's pregnant wife. It was funny, how everything boiled down. Luke saw the infant clothing on your phone and gave you a questionable look.

"'S there something you're not telling me?"

You looked up at him, then back to your phone, your eyes going wide at the insinuation.

"Oh my God, Luke, no! This is for Darren's soon to be born baby, with his wife.

"Darren? Like your ex boyfriend Darren?"

You nodded, laughing and explaining the whole thing to him. You'd somehow become friends with his now wife in your freshman year of college, her junior year, and with the way the world worked for you of course she was married to your ex-boyfriend.

The rest of the night was perfect, and ended with your whole family, minus your sleeping niece, in the Hughes' backyard around the fire pit. That night you ended up right back where you were in the picture on your nightstand, right in Luke's lap in your favorite Adirondack chair.

You spent the next week with the Hughes boys, specifically your Hughes boy. You drove the boat out on the lake, wake surfed, Luke even convinced you to go golfing, not that it took him very long because you would say yes to anything he asked.

gold were the color of the leaves, when i showed you centennial park.

You sat by Luke at the end of the dock while you two watched the very cloudy sunset. There was supposed to be rain soon, but it didn't mean the sunset wasn't still pretty. Your thighs were pressed together with how close you sat to each other, giving you both warmth in your chest.

Neither of you said anything, but you both felt something when you let your head rest on his shoulder.

"This is so pretty, Lukey. I missed this with you."

It wasn't much, but it was a way to say that you loved him without saying the real words. I missed watching the sunset with you, I've always loved you.

hell was the journey, but it brought me heaven.

"I missed you."

You closed your eyes, you just wanted to be with him, didn't matter where. You could be watching a sunset on the lake or climbing a mountain, if you were with Luke you were happy.

"Think it's gonna rain soon?"

You looked up at him when you asked, your head never leaving his shoulder. He looked down for a second, before looking out at the sky.

time, wondrous time. gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies.

"Probably, but let's just stay for a few more minutes, okay?"

"Okay."

You relaxed into him further. His arm went to your back, rubbing back and forth. It could probably be pouring down rain and you wouldn't even notice, not when you had Luke with you, like this, you were Moose's girl after all.

It started sprinkling, causing you to look back at Luke, waiting to see if he reacted. He didnt, so you just stayed. Rain never hurt anybody, you'd be the last person to ruin this moment complaining about rain.

This was so strange. It felt like you were stuck in time, the gentle rain made you feel encapsulated in the moment. You sat there, staring off at the sky, the sunset was not as clear now with the thick clouds rolling in, but the colors were still there. The rain kept on passing through, the drops gaining weight and speed.

Luke didn't mind the rain, but he didn't want you to feel like he was forcing you out here, so he shifted to stand, grabbing your hand.

"C'mon, you can't get sick during summer."

You sighed, letting him pull you to your feet. He didn't let go of your hand as he turned to pull you back to your house. You don't know what came over you, but the circumstances seemed perfect, you felt like you had to tell him. You pulled him to a stop, and he turned to look with a confused face.

"What's wrong?"

You looked from him to the ground, looking at your feet, the worn dock you'd run around on summer after summer, the lake you grew up swimming with him in. This place was so full of Luke, of you and Luke.

"I, I really like you Luke. Like literally since we were 12, and I, I just.."

You trailed off, looking anywhere but those eyes.

Luke was flabbergasted. That's the only word to describe how he felt. The girl he was in love with, just said she liked him since they were little. He just stared at her, not believing what he heard.

"Are you for real?"

You would've been embarrassed, had you not heard the pure hope in his voice. You nodded, feeling your face heat up. You covered your face with your hands self-consciously. If you could look at Luke's face, you would’ve seen how he was red all from his neck to his ears.

Luke gently grabbed your hands, pulling them away from your face, and replacing them with his own. He tilted your head back so you looked at him, staring at you for just a second before pulling you in, kissing you, finally.

and it's cool, baby, with me.

Holy shit. You were freaking out, you were probably gonna be jumping up and down whenever he decided to stop kissing you. He did pull away, after a long while, when the rain started pouring. The colors of the sunset had been drowned out by the thunderclouds but you two still felt all sunny on the inside.

There was a rumble in the far distance, while you stared at him, and him back at you. You couldn't contain your excitement, you felt like running a marathon.

"Oh my God."

Your hands went back to your face, and you literally jumped. Luke laughed as you surged with happiness. He felt the same way, his smile bigger and brighter than ever before.

You grabbed his hand, tugging him back to your house quickly. You were finally under the cover of your back porch, out of harm's way. You grabbed two towels from the outside cupboards and wrapped yourselves up, you dried your feet off before running up the stairs, Luke hot on your tail.

You two got upstairs and sat on your bathroom counter while you dried off. You talked quietly, giggling an awful lot.

Once you got dry enough, you led him to your bedroom. You grabbed one of his sweatshirts you had before going to take a pair of your brother's shorts, throwing them to Luke when you got back to your room.

"Here, go change so you don't get sick."

You noticed he had more than the stuff you'd just thrown at him in his hands, he had the picture that previously sat on your night stand.

and isn't it just so pretty to think,

"I like this picture, you have to send it to me, baby."

Baby? You could've died. You nodded, mumbling out an butchered agreement, gesturing for him to leave and get dressed again.

While he was gone, you changed into some sweatpants and another one of Luke's sweatshirts, one you'd had for almost two years. When Luke came back into your room, he'd noticed your sweatshirt immediately. It was from his travel team when he was 16, and it made him so happy.

all along there was some invisible string,

You smiled at him sweetly as he walked back over to you, grabbing your face and kissing you for the second time in the last thirty minutes. You got the same butterflies you'd had living inside you since you were a little girl. This boy had been living in your head since you'd known him, and he was finally yours after you'd been his girl for so many years.

tying you to me?

You both pulled away, wrapping each other in a hug. Luke rocked you two back and forth, leaving kisses on your head.

"I love you, Moosey."

"I love you."

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh he-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

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hugshughes · 5 months

Text

illicit affairs J. Hughes

Jack Hughes x fem!reader

synopsis - You were his secret, and you loved it until you realized why he really kept you one.

wc - 2.6k

contains - crying, angst, no happy ending! (not for jack x reader anyway, you know i can't leave my reader hurt by boys forever), few mentions of sex but NO SMUT AT ALL!!!! manipulation, asshole!jack, cursing, drinking. let me know!

an - ugh. this one was sad, illicit affairs always hurts but this took the cake. this was smooth to write though, it came easily. the ending may be a bit rushed, i apologize. i think jack was a good person to pick for this, not that i think he'd do this, but it was easier to make him that way than who i was gonna use for this song before. ANYWAY, hope u love as always, thank you for reading!!!

make sure nobody sees you leave. hood over your head, keep your eyes down.

Jack had texted you. "I'm parked at my usual spot." Said usual spot was in the dark back corner of the parking lot for the apartment building next to yours. You sighed, you felt bad. Your stomach had a deep feeling you couldn't shake.

It was almost midnight, the only time he ever wanted you. Far after the sun had gone down, so nobody could ever have the chance to see you two. The last time you saw Jack, he was gone when you woke up and you just cried and cried.

You had realized that you weren't a secret because he just liked his life private like he told you. You were a secret because he would never want to be seen with you. Not even after spending almost a year of your time on him.

He emphasized his text, and you still sat on your couch, thinking about whether or not you even wanted to see him. Your makeup was done, your hair looked beautiful, just for him to take you back to his apartment, and not act like he knew you until you were safe within the walls of his bedroom.

tell your friends you're out for a run, you'll be flushed when you return.

You thought back to the night of the last time you saw him. It was one of your closest friend's birthday party, and you were having so much fun, until Jack texted you at 10:30 pm, asking to come pick you up.

It was like he had a spell on you, like you would do whatever he asked, for the hope that he would see your devotion and decide to make your relationship serious. Because Jack wasn't your boyfriend, but he acted like it. He acted like it when he would lose a hockey game and text you, saying he missed and even loved you, saying he needed you.

take the roads less traveled by. tell yourself you can always stop.

Back to the birthday party. Jack wouldn't stop texting you, telling you he missed you so much and couldn't sleep without you. You caved in, leaving the party early, telling the birthday girl you had an early morning and needed a good night's sleep. Jack picked you up, all smiles, leaving kisses on your cheek, holding your hand.

He held your hand on the way up to your apartment, and the hope you felt was unmatched. You thought this was the moment he realized how important you were to him. But then you woke up, alone and cold, with nothing but a text saying, "Left when you fell asleep, meet up sometime next week?" It completely ruined you.

You had met Jack at a party, it was a black tie for New Year's Eve and you had immediately caught his eye. He went up to you first, you honestly hadn't even noticed him. He acted very interested in you, talking to you for hours until the clock struck midnight, and he had made you feel special. You let him have your phone number that night, and it was the flap of a butterfly's wings that created the typhoon.

what started in beautiful rooms, ends with meetings in parking lots.

As time went on, Jack started to treat you worse, he expected more from you. You knew you couldn't expect anything from him, though. He was the hotshot playboy of the NHL, and you were simply a girl. A girl he could pick and choose when he wanted because if you did something wrong, there were hundreds more lined up waiting.

and that's the thing about illicit affairs. and clandestine meetings, and longing stares. they show their truth one single time.

You could never really tell if Jack's words were genuine. He was so hot and cold with you; so much so that it was more like scalding and freezing. If you ever asked him anything near that topic, he would shut it all down immediately. He reminded you he wasn't your boyfriend, then would try to ease the sting by telling you he loved you. He was the first boy to ever tell you he loved you, and it hurt every time he did.

He was just two different people. The guy you got during the night, when he was craving someone, and the guy he really was. He didn't love you, you knew it. He knew it too. But oh how you wished he loved you. You never loved him though, how could someone love a man who only ever cared for you when there was no threat of anyone else knowing?

It was worse during the summer. He was away for almost two months then came home and expected you to come running back, then got angry when you didn't. And even after all the anger, and the red flags, and the secrecy, you couldn't stop, even though you promised yourself you could if you wanted to. You wanted to. Jack was like your drug, an addiction you couldn't get through life without.

but it dies, and it dies, and it dies, a million little times.

He was a liar. That was what you knew. You knew he couldn't love you. If you love someone, you show them, you make them feel loved. Jack never made you feel loved, he did the opposite most of the time. You remember sobbing the first time he told you he loved you because he left you alone in your bed in the middle of the night just minutes later.

leave the perfume on the shelf, that you picked out just for him. so you leave no trace behind. like you don't even exist.

You remember the time he asked you not to wear your perfume when he picked you up anymore. He said it made his car smell like you and one of his friends had asked why it smelled like perfume. He couldn't stand the thought of anyone knowing you existed with him, that much was obvious. He wanted to live a double life, one with you, and one with every single other part of his life.

He would tell you not to follow him on social media, not to tag your location in posts if he did, and not to tell your friends about it. It made you miserable, and your friends could tell something had changed in you.

take the words for what they are, a dwindling mercurial high. a drug that only worked the first few hundred times.

You knew you couldn't keep doing what you were doing with Jack. You knew he'd run you dry eventually. That he'd push you to misery and you'd have to leave him. You just held out hope that one day maybe he'd love you the way he said he did.

and that's the thing about illicit affairs. and clandestine meetings, and stolen stares.

One night he got really angry with you, and you thought you'd never see him again. With the way he treated you, you got to the point where you thought that maybe he had a girlfriend he was cheating on with you. It would've made the secrecy make sense.

You had sat him down and asked him if you were the other woman in his relationship. And he flipped on you, he was angry you thought he would ever do something like that. He shouted at you for the first time, he said things insinuating that you were sleeping around, not being "loyal" to him, and just wanted to spread your guilt to him.

It couldn't have been farther from the truth, he was the only man in your life. He was the one man you had ever let see you in the ways he saw you. The only boy you'd ever slept with. Then the next day he showed up at your apartment, a hood over his head and sunglasses covering his eyes, but nonetheless, he was holding flowers, and that's all you could focus on.

they show their truth one single time. but they lie, and they lie, and they lie, a million little times.

You snapped out of your thoughts when your phone started ringing. Jack was waiting for you, he had texted you twice now, and was currently calling you. You jumped to answer it.

"Hi."

"Hey? What are you doing? I'm here to get you."

Every word he said was like a stab to the stomach. You were past the point where his words comforted his bad actions. It all just hurt now.

"Um, sorry you came all this way. I don't think I'm feeling up to it tonight."

He scoffed pulling his phone from his ear to stare at the phone, then put it on speaker.

"What do you mean? Are you like mad at me or something? You seemed fine half an hour ago."

"Yeah um no, I mean I just don't feel great right now, and would rather not have a fast fuck at your place then get an Uber home."

You said it, you kind of couldn't believe you did. You felt proud of yourself for it. You finally called him out, even if it was just a little bit.

"Oh, so you are pissed at me? Baby, what did I do?"

Baby. It's what he called you when he wanted to get his way. You knew right now he was hoping you would just brush off your feelings and come get in his car.

and you wanna scream, don't call me "kid". don't call me "baby".

"No Jack, stop. Don't call me that. I don't-"

"What is your problem?! I didn't do anything wrong between thirty minutes ago, when you were sending me fuckin' heart emojis tellin' me you couldn't wait to see me, and now!"

You could feel the tears pricking in your eyes, the pain in your chest was overwhelming now. He just didn't understand how it felt to be cared for when it was convenient, because you always cared for him, part of you probably always would.

"I just can't do this fucking situationship we have anymore! You are ruining me, Jack. You are making me miserable, you only care about me when you feel like it, and you tell me you love me when you don't. You're making me crazy! And I just let you because I still for some stupid reason am holding out hope that one day you'll stop for a second and realize that you want me to be more than a late-night hookup when you're feeling bad about yourself!"

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me. you showed me colors, you know i can't see with anyone else.

You were sobbing, shouting at Jack through the phone. He was stunned. He was truly speechless.

"I- Shit, Angel, you know-"

"No! Stop! You do this shit, you make me feel special then you rip it out of my hands, you remind me that I'm just one of many girls who'd be forever lucky to be a doormat for you! You have made me fucking hate myself. I have never been less happy in life than I am right now, and it's because of you.

"You've forced me to create this secret life that revolves around the hope that you'll call me and tell me to walk down the street where your car is parked waiting for me in the middle of the night, just far enough so no one would ever see you."

Jack was forced to look back on all the shit he'd put you through over the past 11 months. He never really considered your feelings, not as often as he should've. He used you, he manipulated you, he made you depend on him.

"Shit, Jack. I just, I can't do it anymore. The secrets, lying to my friends, for someone who couldn't give two shits if I never saw him again. I've become someone I don't even like anymore."

don't call me "kid". don't call me "baby". look at this idiotic fool that you made me. you taught me a secret language, i can't speak with anyone else.

Jack was dumbfounded. He hadn't realized he was hurting you that bad. He hadn't thought for two seconds about how the regulations he'd put in place in your relationship would affect you. He just wanted to have someone when he needed someone, and not have to deal with the emotional turmoil that came with a committed relationship. He didn't realize you had all of that emotional turmoil on your shoulders.

Jack didn't realize it then, nor would he at this moment. But in the weeks, months, and years ahead, he would realize how important you really were to him. How much your presence really did comfort him. How lucky he was to have you. How he did love you.

"I- I'm sorry, I guess. I just, this is crazy to be honest."

You sighed, that response just confirmed everything. He never really cared, so why would he now? The second you hung up the phone he'd be able to find another girl in a matter of minutes, if he wanted to.

"It's fine, whatever. But um, yeah just lose my number Jack."

"Yeah, alright. Um, bye?"

You hung up the phone and immediately started crying again. Did he know all he had to do was fight for you? Did he know you would've stayed? He probably didn't care either way. He didn't need to fight for anyone, not when he could have someone else who didn't need any reassurance, who didn't care if he was invested in them or not, who could just be used for sex and comfort when needed and not bat an eye.

and you know damn well, for you i would ruin myself,

You felt that now you could finally breathe. The weight of him was lifted from your chest. You immediately called your best friend, telling her to come over as soon as possible, and even though it was midnight, she came. You explained how the last eleven months you'd been consistently seeing a guy who'd only wanted you in secret, and how you'd just broken it all off with him. She comforted you, and wasn't mad at you for lying, not when you'd explained it.

You started a new chapter of your life, one where you focused on your own happiness. The chapter could only last about a year though, because at a New Year's Eve party on December 31st, 2024, you met a man that one day you'd marry, have his kids, and love till death. Maybe not all relationships that begin on New Year's Eve are bad.

Jack had realized his faults and thought about them often for the next year or so after you broke everything off with him. He'd realized you were someone he should've appreciated more, and loved on more. He wished he would've changed his ways and fought for you, but was glad you were probably finally happy.

a million little times.

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hugshughes · 5 months

Text

this is me trying L. Fantilli

Luca Fantilli x fem!reader

synopsis - You just want Luca to know that you're trying.

wc - 2.5k

contains - cursing, academic burnout (self reflection...), crying, not feeling good enough, reader has an older brother, um suggestiveness??? (reader makes one joke), that's it! LMK!

an - im so sorry i kept you guys waiting... but happy thanksgiving, forgive me im so thankful for you guys. this was a bit more self indulgent than my other fics... THIS WAS SO LATE BECAUSE i wrote 2000+ words then they didn't save and so i literally cried over it and couldn't write for the rest literal week whenever i came back to it i was upset, like i was that sad guys. and i really don't love this because it just isn't as perfect as the first one i wrote was. anyways hope you love this!

i've been having a hard time adjusting. i had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting.

You were sick. Not like physical illness, go to the doctor and get medicine sick. You were sick of waking up every day, going to the same classes, eating the same food, coming home, sitting alone in your dorm, then falling asleep and doing it over again. But you couldn't afford to do anything else at the same time. If you wanted to get the grades you needed to pass your current classes, you were going to have to work your ass off.

You were always considered gifted. You took advanced classes all of high school, attending college-level courses in your junior year. Even in your freshman year at Umich, you passed with flying colors, but now, now it was different. You don't know why classes were so much harder now, and it was especially hard because everything had always been so easy.

Even with all of this, you had Luca. Luca had been your boyfriend since October of freshman year. He'd always stood by your side no matter what, but now it felt different. He'd never seen you like this, struggling so much with things you were known for being good at. You remember him telling you how proud he was when you had gotten a 98% on one of your final exams last year, you were worried he wouldn't be proud anymore.

As a child, you were conditioned into thinking that better grades meant better treatment from your parents. Your brother had been a star student always until he'd slacked off senior year and ended up going to a college he was way too smart for. When that happened, your parents decided you wouldn't be like your brother. You would go to a good school, and get good grades, and in exchange they would love you, at least that's how it felt.

i didn't know if you'd care if i came back, i have a lot of regrets about that.

All the love you'd ever known was for a price, your parents', your boyfriend's, even your brother's it was like you had to be good enough before they would consider you lovable.

You never felt this from Luca, but you never gave him a reason to think otherwise. You'd always been this smart girl for him, a girl he bragged about to his friends. The girl he could go to for help in classes.

You didn't mean to be pushing Luca away, but you were so stressed and didn't want to bring him into it.

I know I already said you weren't sick like an illness, but right now you felt gross. You were stuffy and coughing and had a pounding headache, but you had assignments due at 11:59 pm and they couldn't wait. It was 9:03 pm and it didn't look like you were gonna get any relief from class work for a while longer.

pulled the car off the road to the lookout. could've followed my fears all the way down.

You didn't even know you were crying until you saw tears fall onto your iPad screen, where you were currently writing notes for a quiz you had tomorrow. You felt completely helpless. You couldn't stop and let yourself wallow, because you had to get moving on your study guide.

You dropped your Apple Pencil and just buried your face in your hands, rubbing your eyes till you saw stars. Your pity party was interrupted by your phone ringing. Your phone was on your studying do not disturb so if someone's call was coming through it had to be Luca's.

You quickly tried to steady your breathing before swiping to answer the call.

"Hi?"

"Hey. So, what's with you totally skipping my game? You know that meant a lot to me."

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. How did you forget? You were the worst girlfriend ever.

"Oh my God, Luca. I'm so fucking sorry, it completely slipped my mind, oh my God, I didn't even know. I had a really long day, baby, I'm so sorry."

You were trying not to cry even more, you didn't want Luca to think you were a crybaby. Crybaby. That's what your parents called you whenever you got like this, too much for them to love.

and maybe i don't quite know what to say,

Luca just sighed, upset. He was upset with you, and you couldn't fix it. You could hear rustling on Luca's end, and another voice. All of a sudden you were seventeen getting a call from your nineteen-year-old boyfriend while he cheated on you, while another girl laid with him.

but i'm here in your doorway.

You didn't think Luca would do that to you, you really knew he wouldn't. But that one part of you was just screaming that you'd proven yourself unworthy to him, that he was done.

i just wanted you to know,

"I just, I don't even know anymore. You haven't consistently talked to me in weeks, every time we do speak you're in your head, and you keep pushing things off and forgetting. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong here."

Fuck, you couldn't stop the floodgates now. You quickly sniffed, holding the phone away from you so he wouldn't hear, soaking the cuff of your sweatshirt sleeve with tears before trying to respond.

"No, no Luc, you're not doing anything wrong. The last month has just been tough, I just don't know how to tell you. I'm trying Luca, I am, and I'm sorry. I know it doesn't fix anything and you still have every right to be angry with me, I understand why-"

this is me trying.

"Hey, it's whatever, just don't worry about it."

No. No this couldn't happen like this. He couldn't be checking out of your relationship right now. You needed him, even if you didn't know how to tell him. You accidentally let out a whimper when you tried to speak, before shakily breathing a deep breath and trying again.

"No, it isn't. I'm not being good to you. I just- Fuck Luca I'm sorry I didn't mean to forget, and I'm not meaning to be such a bad girlfriend I just, there's just,"

"Just what?"

"I don't know how to tell you! I don't want you to think differently about me Luc. You've never seen me like this."

Your trauma was truly shining through, you were terrified of Luca thinking you weren't smart.

"Are you like uninterested now? You could just tell me, not lead me on! Not just ghost me!"

"No Luca! I love you so much, I'm in love with you. I just-"

You cut yourself off, letting out a stressed sigh, rubbing your eyes when you felt the tears prick in them.

i just wanted you to know,

You didn't know what to say, it was so complicated. Every time you ever tried to talk about this with your family they shut you down, told you you were wrong for feeling like you did, and you didn't want Luca to think those things too.

"I just can't do this stuff anymore,"

"What?"

this is me trying.

"I'm just not smart anymore, and everything is so hard. And I don't know how to talk to you about it 'cause I don't want you to think I'm not smart, but I don't think I am anymore."

"Oh, baby."

Luca was stunned, his girl was going through something and he was upset with her over a hockey game. He thought you were beginning to distance yourself from him because you started to be uninterested in him. He never would've assumed you were doing it because you were scared to talk to him. He never would've assumed you were scared he would think less of you.

"Hey, it's okay. Everything's gonna be alright, okay? How about I come over? We can talk more about everything and I know I'm not the brightest guy when it comes to all of your stuff but I could try to help. That okay, pretty?"

"Yes. Please, Angel. Need you right now."

"Okay, give me a couple minutes, I'll be right there. I love you, okay?"

"I love you, Luc."

Luca let you hang up, taking a deep breath and sitting for a moment just to take in what had just happened. He had a bad feeling in his stomach now, knowing how you were hurting. He quickly recovered and got up, putting his shoes and a hat on backward before leaving his dorm.

He walked fast through campus to get to your dorm building, the cold motivating him further. When he got to your dorm building, he quickly went up the stairs, taking two at a time, and to your room. You were in a single this year, so he wasn't worried about a roommate being bothered by his presence. He knocked on the decorated door gently, bouncing on his feet waiting for you.

they told me all of my cages were mental, so i got wasted like all my potential.

Luca could've sworn he felt his heart break when he saw your face, the exhaustion mixed with sadness wearing you down. He didn't say anything before jumping to wrap his arms around you, just holding you for a minute. You clung to him so tightly, you'd missed him so badly while digging yourself into a hole of isolation.

"Hi sweet girl."

You could've started crying again. He held you gently but firmly, and it was all you ever needed. You felt yourself relax for the first time in two and a half weeks.

and my words shoot to kill when i'm mad. i have a lot of regrets about that.

"Hi Luc"

You sniffled, and Luca just melted. He pulled away from you just a little, pulling his arms away so he could cradle your faces in his palms. You brought your hands up to rest on his wrists, rubbing your thumbs back and forth.

"I missed you, pretty."

You missed him like a little kid. But it was your fault you were ever apart.

i was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere.

"I missed you. 'M so sorry I isolated myself from you, I'm so fucking stressed right now. Everything is hard and it's scary 'cause it's never been hard like this for me, and I-"

fell behind all my classmates and i ended up here,

"I know baby. It is scary. College is just scary. And you are like the smartest girl I think ever so I know it's like even scarier for you when things don't make sense quickly, but it's gonna be okay. Because you have your amazing, talented, stud of a boyfriend to help you."

pouring out my heart to a stranger. but i didn't pour the whiskey.

You gave him a look, laughing for the first time in many days.

"He is pretty amazing, and talented, and hot, isn't he?"

i just wanted you to know, that this is me trying. i just wanted you to know, that this is me trying.

He nodded reassuringly, before putting his hands on your hips and pushing you back into your room, closing your door behind him.

"Damn, you just got here."

"Shut the hell up."

You laughed as you climbed up onto your bed, pulling Luca up next to you after he took his shoes off.

at least i'm trying.

"So, about this class. What do we need to learn?"

You explained how tonight you only really needed to do two things, finish a paper that was 75% done, and do another assignment that if you could figure out how to understand the concept, would be done in no time. You both snuggled close together while looking at the paper, Luca helping you through sentences you got stuck on. You finished the paper quickly, then pulled up your notes for the concept of the other assignment.

and it's hard, to be at a party when i feel like an open wound. it's hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you.

At one point Luca took your laptop to read through the notes so you just turned over and rested your head on his chest, before seeing his gorgeous hair covered by a stupid hat grabbing it off of him, and putting it on your bedside table.

"No hats in my room."

"What? Since when?"

"Since I want to see your pretty hair, not the maize and blue hat I see every other day."

Luca just laughed, shaking his head and running his non-scrolling hand down your back. Luca somehow understood the concept and reiterated it to you in a way that made everything click. He was your good luck charm, you knew it. Everything made sense with him.

you're a flashback, in a film reel, on the one screen in my town.

You made him lay on your chest with your laptop resting on his back while you completed the assignment. One hand was in his hair while the other was gliding across the keyboard. You finished it in 20 minutes. And your chest felt so much lighter after you hit the submit button.

You closed your laptop, sliding it onto the floor before putting both of your hands into Luca's hair.

"I knew you could do it, baby. You just needed someone to tell you that."

"I love you."

"I love you so much."

Luca's arms around your middle tightened, and he moved his head to look up at you.

"I know you feel like you have to be this perfect person, baby, but I need you to know you don't have to do that for anyone, especially me. Because you are everything, and I can't take care of you if you're scared to talk to me about how you're feeling. I know your parents and other people make you feel like if you don't do good at school they will love you less, but you need to know that you could flunk out of school, and you would still be the most important person to me, okay?"

i just wanted you to know, that this is me trying.

You were crying. You pulled him somehow closer and hugged him so tight, pulling away after over a minute to give him a good long kiss that expressed your gratitude. Because you were, so fucking grateful. This boy had seen all of it, and still chose you, and would continue to choose you until his last breath.

(and maybe i don't quite know what to say,)

"Thank you, Angel. You don't know how much hearing that means to me. I love you, so so much."

"You're everything. I see that you're trying, and that is always gonna be enough."

i just wanted you to know, that this is me trying. at least i'm trying.

788 notes · View notes

hugshughes · 6 months

Text

seven E. Edwards

Ethan Edwards x fem!reader

synopsis - you and Ethan, your best friend since you were seven, finally admit you're in love with each other.

wc - 5.7k :O

contains - so much fluff LORDDDDDDDD. curse words, eating/drinking, kissing, making out, reader has long enough hair for a braided ponytail, a little suggestiveness (twenty year old boy has dirty thoughts about his best friend sigh), underage drinking. oh reader has a late summer birthday (end of July-August), and two older brothers sorryyyyy. LMK!!!!

an - EDIT - that one paragraph that was in first person... why didn't u guys tell me. are we even friends anymore???? unedited. i'll do it tomorrow i promise. hey guys.... sorry it's been like almost 3 weeks, I love you I swear. there were midterms then halloweek so like I had to be studious then I had to be slutty so it was a long two weeks. also i wanna be fr friends with more fic writers on here yall r so cute. ANYWAY THIS WAS PROBABLY MY FAV SO FAR. i am an ethan girl to my core and it shows in this. people keep requesting behind my back pt.2 and i promise it's coming guys im just grinding this celebration then i'll be doing other stuff! may or may not have given Ethan and reader the same costume me and my man wore this weekend🤭. ANYWAYS ENJOYYYYYYYY!

please picture me in the trees. i hit my peak at seven. feet in the swing over the creek.

Lake Moraine, Alberta, Canada. Summer, 2009

You were freshly seven years old as you ran around the backyard of your family's summer house with your best friend, Ethan. It was the first summer you ever spent with the Edwards family, but it was perfect.

Your parents got along great, you both had older brothers who quickly became good friends. And you got your best friend for 3 whole weeks to ride on the boat, play tag, swim, make s'mores, and do anything else you wanted to with.

Your moms loved joking about how you two were destined to be married from the beginning. They saw the way Ethan was completely mesmerized by you even as a seven-year-old boy. He followed you around like a puppy and did everything he could for you. You wanted to play hide 'n seek? He was already counting to 40. You got scared of the summer fireworks? He held your hand and convinced you they were exciting and fun.

Your moms also saw the way you were obsessed with him. It was always 'Where's Ethan?', or 'Is Ethan awake yet?' all summer long. You didn't go anywhere without him. You pouted like crazy whenever he would go to play street hockey in the driveway with the older boys while you sat on the porch with your parents.

i was too scared to jump in. but i, i was high in the sky, with pennsylvania under me.

That summer was something you thought of often, it was perfection. Running around playing with your best friend all summer as a seven-year-old was the best thing you could've ever asked for.

When you guys were double your previous age, fourteen years old, you were still as close as ever. You went through it all together. The summer of 2016 was the summer when Ethan realized he had a crush on you. It was also, the summer you got boobs, but the two things were only semi-related.

Ethan found himself being insanely flustered by you and everything you did. When your hand brushed his while walking down the dock to the boat, when you kissed him on the cheek after he'd given you your birthday present, a silver necklace with a small solid heart pendant. It was a necklace you still wore today.

It wasn't until the next summer though that you realized you were heavily infatuated with the brunette. Something about him had changed, instead of him being this seven-year-old boy in your mind, he was fifteen, he had gotten muscles, and his hair was shaggy, and your hormones went crazy over it.

You and Ethan had a lot of fun that summer, you drank for the first time, which both of you ended up throwing up from in the backyard while your parents and siblings slept. Ethan had broken your heart for the first time the next year. He left the summer house 2 weeks early to go to a camp his new girlfriend begged him to go to. And him leaving 2 weeks early had him leaving days before your birthday, which hurt the worst.

You broke his heart even worse the next year when you brought your new boyfriend to the house. The house he fell in love with you in, the house you fell for him in. He hated that summer, he and the girl from the summer before had only lasted until the fall of that year, and Ethan realized he really was in love with you. But then your family drove up and you got out of the car with him, the guy that Ethan immediately made his enemy.

That summer was okay for you, and it sucked for Ethan. Your boyfriend left you unimpressed that summer, he wasn't the most polite guy, and was very much uninterested in the fun stuff you loved doing every summer. You remember how he went to sleep and left you alone watching the fireworks you had grown to love so much. You broke up with him over text the day you got back home. You weren't heartbroken after that, not like you were the summer before.

Neither of you had gotten into relationships since then. You'd both been too consumed by each other, you both knew no one else would fulfill you like the other would.

And so you were best friends, you hung out whenever you could, you went to all of his games, you went to proms and homecomings together, as friends. When Ethan committed to the University of Michigan, it became a school you were obsessed with getting into. Your application and essay had the most detail and took you the longest. You remember when you got an email in your inbox from the umich admissions office.

are there still beautiful things?

You couldn't open it. Not without Ethan. You grabbed your phone and moved your laptop off your lap and back onto your desk. You called him, your leg bouncing anxiously as it rang. He picked up after five rings.

"Hey Angel,"

Angel. He'd called you it since when you broke up with your first boyfriend, he told you that you were an angel and that guy didn't deserve you. And then it just stuck with him.

"My response for umich is here. Can you come over? I don't think I can open it without you here."

"Fuck yeah, give me like ten minutes."

You let out a deep breath, you were scared. You didn't think you would get in. You had the grades for it, and the extracurriculars, but you just had a pit in your stomach over it.

"It's gonna be okay Angel, alright? You're getting in. I love you, I'll be there in a little."

"Okay, I love you."

He hung up, you sat anxious at your desk, before closing your laptop and moving to sit on your bed. You heard his car pull in, the black jeep that brought you two to school every day, the jeep that drove you guys to the drive-in movies once every month, the jeep that you two drove to the lake last summer.

Your brother let him in, you heard him take his shoes off and run up the stairs, taking two at a time. He opened your door, smiling big at you before closing it behind him. You couldn't even smile at him, you felt like you were gonna be sick.

"Don't look at me like that. You need to stop acting like you won't get in."

"You don't know that though, Ethe. Tons of kids wanna go to Michigan, and tons of kids aren't gonna get in."

"Well we don't care about those kids, do we? 'Cause you aren't them, you're you, and you're perfect."

You just stared at him, you couldn't do anything else. All you wanted to do was kiss him, but again, you couldn't do that.

"Now where's this acceptance email at?"

You pointed to your closed laptop. He grinned and turned to grab it, climbing over you with his free hand to get onto your bed. He opened your laptop, typing in your password, and seeing the email at the top of your inbox. He turned and looked at you, his hand finding yours.

"You know it's gonna be okay no matter what, right? Even if you don't get in, which you will, but even if you don't that won't change anything. You'll go to Iowa and you'll love it."

You took a deep breath and nodded, squeezing his hand. You nodded towards your laptop, gesturing for him to click the email. You lean your head on his shoulder, heart racing as he moves your mouse to the email. He clicks the email, then the link included in it. He reads a sentence under his breath before stopping. You weren't reading it, you had your eyes closed. Ethan jumps, shouting and burying you in a hug, resulting in your laptop falling off your bed.

"You did it! We're going to Michigan together!"

You just hugged him so tight. You were so thankful for the admissions officer who had read your essay, which may have included Ethan's name a few times. Not because he was going for hockey, but because he was your best friend. You two both hugged for a moment, before running downstairs to tell your family.

sweet tea in the summer, cross your heart won't tell no other.

That was one of your favorite memories with Ethan. Now it was over three years later, you guys were juniors in college and you were still just best friends.

Tonight was the first night of Halloweekend, as you call it. You had a duo costume with Ethan, you were a referee and he was a hockey player. It was basic, you both knew that, but it was fun, and Ethan had no problem with how good you looked in your black little Lululemon skirt when you had tried your costume on for him. You guys had barely any time to get ready because of the game against Lindenwood earlier in the day. You were both getting ready in your apartment, so you could go to the party together.

You had only had your skirt and black sports bra on when Ethan knocked on your door, calling your name to let him in. You ran over to the door, excited to see Ethan and congratulate him on the huge win. When you opened the door Ethan's heart jumped, the sight of you in your incomplete outfit made his teenage boy hormones go crazy.

"Hi Ethe! I see you aren't ready yet."

You gave him an annoyed look, because he said he would be dressed when he got to yours.

"Well you aren't exactly in your full outfit either."

You blushed when you really realized you hadn't even thought about not having your shirt on when getting the door. You waved your hand and quickly turned away from the brunette, going back to your room, Ethan hot on your heels.

You quickly grabbed your shirt and sat back at your vanity, pulling it over your head and tucking it with your skirt letting it sag out a little bit. You quickly did your makeup, while Ethan sat on your bed and watched his phone.

"Ethe, if you don't start getting ready I will literally hurt you."

He looked up and let out a wannabe innocent gasp, claiming he "literally doesn't have to do anything but change his shirt". You shout at him again and he calls you by your mother's name, to which you gasped and threw your eyelash curler at him.

He finally gave in and started getting ready. Your eyes were practically stuck to him when you watched him pull his t-shirt off, his toned upper body on full display in your mirror. Your pupils were dilating while you stared at him.

Ethan wore his own navy Michigan jersey over a white sweatshirt, it was basic but he was happy he didn't have to do much. He laid back down on your bed once he was finished and watched as you put your hair back.

You'd gotten your hair in the ponytail, but you'd done the braid multiple times and it still just didn't look right. You sighed then looked at Ethan in the mirror, finding him already staring at you, then asked him the big question.

"Ethey, baby, can you please braid my hair?"

Baby. You'd called Ethan baby and he couldn't handle it. He quickly nodded, stuttering out a yes and jumping up from your bed to stand behind you at your vanity. He quickly separated your hair into three, looking at you for approval, like you hadn't taught him to braid your hair at 11 years old.

and though i can't recall your face, i still got love for you.

You smiled at him and slightly nodded, not shaking your head too much. He smiled a little bit back at you but was too focused on twisting your hair into itself to look in your eyes.

"Hair tie."

You smiled to yourself when he mumbled it to you, so incredibly focused on his work in your hair. Like it was the most detrimental thing he'd had to do today, like he hadn't played a big hockey game hours earlier.

"And... You're perfect."

He mumbled this as he tied off your braid, turning your head to show you in the mirror. You smiled at him grabbing his hand behind your back and rubbing your thumb over his, thanking him physically, since it was his love language.

your braids like a pattern, love you to the Moon, and to Saturn.

You stood from your vanity, sliding your sneakers on and grabbing your whistle to hang around your neck. You and Ethan both went out of your room and stood in front of the large mirror you had set up in the hallway. You deemed it time to take photos, but not before you unzipped the quarter-zip of your top so you could see your cleavage on pretty full display. The second you did so Ethan knew he was done for the night.

You guys took some photos and then you guys started walking to the party because it was only a six-minute walk from your place. When you arrived at the party, you guys were immediately pulled into a group of hockey players.

Ethan went to get you both drinks once he knew you were safe with his friends. You stood between Luca and Mark as you watched Ethan head off into the crowd.

"So, when are you two gonna admit you wanna fuck?"

Your eyes bulged out of your head. You turned and slapped Mark's chest, hard. He snickered along with the other boys around you.

"One, there's freshie ears around us, and two, we are never gonna do that, so shut the actual fuck up."

Mark shook his head, another laugh leaving his mouth as he pointed at Ethan, who was talking to one of his friends on the way back to your group.

"That kid is obsessed with you. Don't you think it's weird he literally hasn't gotten a girl yet, when he's got hundreds of girls here that would drop dead if he even said a word to them? He only likes you."

It was your turn to laugh, you knew that couldn't be true. You looked at Mark and rolled your eyes, it was honestly irritating hearing him say stuff like that at this point.

"Please, Mark. No chance. He's been my best friend since I was seven, if he liked me, he would've said so by now.

"Well you've liked him for forever and you haven't said anything, have you?"

You couldn't respond because Ethan was back, handing you a can of something. You thanked him and rubbed his hand, like always. He always received physical touch the best, especially as a thank you, it was funny to you because it was so incredibly similar to the golden retriever all of his fans called him online.

passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long.

You didn't stray far from Ethan for the first hour and a half, watching Rutger and Luca demolish in pong for a while. Then you saw some girls from your classes who you loved so you went to say hey to them and ended up talking for awhile.

After a little bit you and one of the girls you were with both had empty drinks so y'all got up to head to the kitchen.

"Oh my God babe, I saw your Insta story of you and your man, y'all are so hot together, and your costume is top tier."

You laughed at her, blushing madly.

"He's not my man! He's just my best friend, but thank you I picked our costume out."

She gasped at you, stopping abruptly.

"No way he isn't your man! He looks at you like he wants to tear your clothes off every fucking second!"

"Shut up! No he doesn't! He does not like me like that."

You both turned the corner laughing and you almost halted in your steps when you realized what you were seeing. It was Ethan, standing and laughing with this one bitch you knew, her name was like Diana or something. She had her hand on his chest as her head flew back at one of his jokes. All you knew is you'd seen her try to talk to all of the hockey players at parties since your freshman year, even though most of them were 3+ years younger than her because she was a grad student and at least 25. Then you realized what she was wearing, she was dressed as the fucking Stanley Cup. You wanted to die.

"See, not my man."

and i've been meaning to tell you, i think your house is haunted. your dad is always mad and that must be why.

Your voice got quieter as you said it, your stomach now had a pit and your eyes looked so disappointed. You don't know why you let Mark's word get to your head, because obviously there was never gonna be anything between the two of you. You left and told Bri you were going to the bathroom, trying to find an empty one.

Ethan saw as you quickly turned into the kitchen, disappearing into the crowd with your friend. He'd also seen the terrible look on your face. He was immediately worried, not even thinking for half a second about the, in his opinion, annoying fake blonde, practically pawing at him, that he ended up being intercepted by on his way to find you.

He quickly tried to follow you but was stopped by a firm grip on his wrist. He pulled his hand from her grasp roughly and gave her a bewildered look.

"Wait Ethey! Where are you going? I wanna take a picture with you, we're matching so cute!"

He didn't even look at her, trying to find the back of your head in the crowd.

"No, don't call me that."

"Ugh, okay Ethan. Well, come here let me take a picture of our matching costumes."

"No thanks I'm already matching with my girl, and we're not even matching. A college player wouldn't have a Stanley Cup, doesn't even make sense"

He mumbled it to her, still pushing away from her as he finally got her to get her hands off of him. He immediately pushed into the crowd of the kitchen, desperately looking for you. He finally spotted the black and white stripes of your shirt and the braid he had done swerving in between people. He followed you, knowing calling your name would do nothing in the loud house. He watched you walk into the bathroom of probably the only empty hallway of the house, and he waited outside the door for almost 10 minutes before knocking.

"Sorry! I'll be out in just a second."

Your voice sounded dull, he was definitely worried about you.

"No it's just me, just wanted to know if you were okay. Are you?"

"Oh Ethe,"

You opened the door from your spot sitting on the counter, letting him walk in.

"hey, sorry didn't mean for you to be worried about me."

You tried to smile at him, but he could tell something was wrong. He sat by you on the counter, your thighs pressed against each other as he looked at you, concern filling his face. You wouldn't look at him, your face would give it all away if you did, and you knew it.

i think you should come live with me, and we can be pirates.

"I can tell something's off. What is it? Did someone say somethin' to you?"

You laughed a little, and it confused him even further.

"You'd be surprised at what's got me upset. It's stupid anyway so don't worry your pretty little head, alright?"

Ethan planted his hand on your knee firmly, urging you to look at him with a 'Hey.' You looked up at him for a few seconds before looking around the dim bathroom to distract yourself.

"Just tell me, Angel. Nothing you say is stupid to me."

Of course, he pulled out the Angel card, he knew you would do whatever he asked if he called you Angel. You looked up at him with an unamused face raising your eyebrows for a second before sighing, looking anywhere but his brown eyes.

then you won't have to cry,

"Mark was just saying stuff earlier and then-"

"What did he say? Did he make you upset? I know he's my teammate but I don't care I'll-"

"Ethan Edwards! No, Mark didn't make me upset. It's different than that, it's a whole big thing, and I just don't know how to talk to you about it."

Ethan thought the worst immediately. Well, it probably wasn't the actual worst, but it was the worst thing that could've happened to him.

"Does Mark like you? Did he tell you that?"

Your eyes went wide, and you could've laughed at Ethan's obliviousness.

"No, Ethe. That is definitely not what he said."

He looked at you helplessly, he was so confused. He didn't know how to do the one thing he wanted to, comfort you. He sighed shrugging and shaking his head, he was getting irritable. He stood up from the counter, exasperated.

"Then what is it? Why are you so upset? Can you just please tell me Angel? We tell each other everything baby."

You were gonna scream, he called you baby. He called you baby and you were about to tell him you were head over heels in love with him. You took a deep breath, looking away from where he'd stationed himself directly in front of you, hands on either side of your thighs as he leaned close to you, still worried.

or hide in the closet.

"I just, I'm like, Ethan you're my best friend and I know it's terrible of me to do this but I really fucking love you, like more than that like I'm in love with you and I know I'm a horrible best friend-"

Ethan cut you off by kissing you. Ethan Edwards was kissing you. Ethan Edwards had his hands cupping your jaw, was tilting his head, and kissing you. You were stunned, you didn't kiss him back for a few seconds out of pure shock, and then you realized what was happening. Your hands were gripping his wrists as he held your face. Your legs opened so he could step in between them to be closer to you. His hands moved from your face to your hips as yours went to his neck when you deepened the kiss, it turning into a full-on makeout.

You pulled away, heavy breathing as you stared at Ethan, eyes wide and exasperated.

and just like a folk song,

"That was fuckin' great, Goddamn."

You closed your eyes and let your head fall to Ethan's chest when he said that, laughing at his stupidity. His arms quickly wrapped you into a hug, squeezing you tightly as he laid a kiss on your exposed neck.

"I love you 'like that' too if it wasn't clear before."

our love will be passed on.

"Really? I didn't notice."

He poked your sides at your sass, laughing as you wiggled and squirmed in his grip. Ethan then had a thought come to his head that peaked his curiosity.

"Wait, if that's what you were all stuck on then why were you so upset?"

You brought your arms down from their place around his neck, ready to talk through your annoyance with your hands.

"Ethey, seriously? I was walking with Bri and she was literally telling me we look like a hot couple and that you look at me like you wanted to tear my clothes off and then we turn the corner and I see you with that mega bitch with her hands all over you, acting like you're a fucking comedian."

please picture me, in the weeds. before i learned civility.

His eyes widened at your confession, his cheeks were dusted red when you told him about how Bri thinks he looks at you. He started laughing as you let your green monster out over the girl he didn't even know’s name.

i used to scream ferociously, any time i wanted.

"Angel, that got you all upset? That is crazy because that girl was the most uninteresting, fake, batshit person I've ever had to speak to. She kept trying to say that me and her were matching but we literally aren't, 'cause like why would a college player have a Stanley Cup? Doesn't make any sense. But, I told her I was already matching with my girl anyways, so."

"Your girl?"

You raised your eyebrows at him faking ignorance. He rolled his eyes at you and shook his head, his large warm hands rubbing back and forth over your hips and thighs.

"Well, now you're officially my girl. But baby, you've always been my girl, c'mon now."

i, i.

Your face was so hot and you literally couldn't even speak. You opened your mouth to speak but promptly closed it sucking in a deep breath. Your heartbeat was so fast. That was the sexiest thing you'd ever heard anyone say, and it had an effect on you.

You couldn't look into his eyes anymore, the mix between what he'd just said and the feeling of his hands rubbing over the tops of your thighs, sometimes 'accidentally' hitting the hem of your little skirt was too much. You hid your head in his neck while he smiled so big, it was almost annoying.

"Christ, Ethan."

"What baby? What's got you all hot 'n bothered?"

"Shut the actual fuck up."

He was laughing, hard, which made you blush even more. You pulled your head from his neck and brought your arms around his shoulders to kiss him again, a little bit needier than the first one. His hands stopped their movements, their placement underneath the edges of your skirt making you go crazy.

"Fuck, you're perfect Angel."

His words went straight to the pit forming in your stomach. You moaned into his mouth in response, and Ethan promised himself he would do whatever he had to do to make you make that noise again. Ethan was two seconds from pulling your shirt off of you when there was a bang on the door, causing you to jump, squeezing around Ethan's shoulders.

"Hun, are you alright? You've been in there awhile!"

It was Bri, you let out a sigh of relief, loosening your grip on Ethan and nudging him to the side, sliding off of the bathroom counter.

"Um, yeah I'm alright! Uh I'll be out in a sec!"

"Kay-kay!"

You turned around and gave Ethan a wide-eyed look, while he laughed at you. You turned from him and looked into the mirror, flattening your baby hairs and straightening out your outfit. You gave Ethan a 'you ready?' look to which he nodded and you unlocked and opened the door, halting when you saw Bri standing near the door waiting for you. Ethan bumped into you at your abrupt stop and when Bri looked up and saw two of you, she squealed.

"Oh em gee! Girl, I knew it!"

sweet tea in the summer, cross my heart won't tell no other.

She ran away from you two back to the house, most likely to tell your girlfriends. You two giggled at her and then turned to walk back into the party.

Ethan pressed his hand against your lower back as he guided you through the crowd and back to the group of hockey players now in a different spot than you remember. When Mark noticed you two, when he noticed Ethan's hand, he immediately lit up smiling.

"Hey guys, long time no see, huh?"

and though i can't recall your face, i still got love for you.

You immediately went red as Ethan smirked annoyingly. You both sat down next to each other, Ethan's hand lingering on your thigh while you guys conversed with your friends for another half hour or so.

Eventually, Ethan was getting bored and wanted you all to himself again. He leaned over and layed his head on your shoulder, whispering in your ear.

"You wanna head out baby?"

You turned to look at him, nodding and wrapping your hand in his. Ethan stood up first, pulling you up with him.

"I think we're gonna head out. I'll see you guys tomorrow, alright?"

The guys nodded, bidding you guys goodbyes and waving. Mark shouts an extra loud goodbye to you, teasing you about your conversation earlier, to which you stuck up your middle finger to him behind Ethan's back.

Once you guys stepped outside you immediately started shivering, dropping Ethan's hand to rub your hands over your arms. You were cursing yourself 3 hours ago for not taking a jacket. You didn't even think about the fact that it would probably be almost freezing when you left the party, and your referee shirt and little skirt weren't helping at all.

Obviously Ethan noticed, he always did. He immediately started stripping on the front porch of the house, and you were bewildered.

"Ethan! What the fuck are you doing?"

He was shirtless on the street, he tossed you his hoodie before putting his jersey back on, smiling at you.

"Gotta keep my girl warm."

pack your doll and a sweater, we'll move to India forever.

You gratefully put the warm sweatshirt on, snuggling up into the soft material. Then, you snuggled up into the side of your boyfriend. Your boyfriend. Seven-year-old you wouldn't believe you, she'd be so confused. Fourteen-year-old you wouldn't believe it either, saying you never had feelings for Ethan, he was just your best friend. But sixteen-year-old you? Well she would be squealing and kicking her feet because you were dating him, the only boy you'd ever really liked, loved. The one boy that made you happy. He was so perfect, and you'd known he was perfect since you were seven.

passed down like folk songs, our love lasts so long.

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hugshughes · 7 months

Text

mirrorball M. Estapa

Mark Estapa x fem!reader

synopsis - You realize Mark Estapa is the one person you don't have to perform for.

wc - 4.8k (#proud)

contains - cursing, slight miscommunication, upset reader, frustrated reader, fluff asf, kissing, cuddling. as always lmk!

an - LIGHTLY EDITED!!! sorry if there's any mistakes! THIS ONE WAS FUNNNNNN. i love mark so much so this was cute. it does take a long time to get to the point though so.. sorry! this song is also everything to me so yeah! oh also, betty love interest has been determined!!!! connor bedard is like honestly the perfect guy for it i feel like, cause he's young and stuff. and JH86 already has illicit affairs sooooo don't be mad at me! i hope you LOVE this! as always reblogs and replies are very much appreciated!

i want you to know, i'm a mirrorball. i'll show you every version of yourself tonight.

You'd always been somewhat of a people pleaser. Your happiness had almost always stemmed from whether or not the people around you were happy. It started when you were little, because of how your parents would praise you when you'd take care of your 3 little siblings for them.

Your parents were always working, trying to make enough so that your family could live comfortably, but it had you parenting your siblings for all of your childhood. All of your nurturing at home caused you to do that to everyone you cared about. Always being called the "mom of the friend group." You would do anything you could for people around you to be happy with you, no matter if it meant you were miserable or not.

Now that you were in college, you felt weird not having someone depend on you every second like you do back at home. You had a lot of friends in school now, and lots of people liked that you would never say no to them, taking advantage of your kindness.

You'd met Ethan Edwards in a business class freshman year and he immediately took you in and brought you everywhere. He thought you were cool and fun and one of the few girls he could be friends with that didn't make it weird because of his "status" on the campus. He'd brought you to a hockey house party sophomore year and it's where you met Mark Estapa.

i'll get you out on the floor, shimmering beautiful. and when i break, it's in a million pieces.

Mark had been enthralled by you when you met. Your caring nature and kindness absolutely melted him. He watched you be the designated driver everywhere you went, take care of all of your girlfriends when they got plastered, and in his opinion, let them walk all over you. See, he loved your caring nature, to an extent. He loved how sweet you are, but he hated how other people took such an advantage of it. Once he'd even told your friend to fuck off when he'd seen her trying to make you feel bad for something that was completely on her.

hush, when no one is around my dear. you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinnin' in my, highest heels, love. shinin' just for you.

While Mark loved how nurturing you were, he loved even more when you weren't so tense, and taking care of everyone, and you were just carefree. The first time he'd ever seen you like this was in February of your sophomore year, six months after he met you. You guys were at a party, that was really a "hangout" but while you guys drank, where none of those friends of yours had been invited. He'd never seen you that happy.

You were sitting right by him on the couch, your Ugg slippers on the rug in front of you while you tucked your legs into your chest, a drink in your hand. You were laughing and making jokes, not having to stress over whether your "friends" were about to get drugged because they would just grab drinks from anyone offering.

You'd always admired Mark. Since the night you met him, you just loved everything he did. How gentle he was even though his hockey stats would say otherwise. You loved how he always seemed to have a smile on his face, and how much he cared for you. He was one of the first people ever who cared for you the way you cared for everyone else.

hush, i know they said the end is near. but i'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinnin' in my highest heels, love. shinin' just for you.

You had been in love with him since June. Your friend group had gotten together in the summer and spent a weekend on a lake in Michigan, near where Mark's parents lived. One night his parents had invited your group to his childhood home to have dinner and when you'd seen his interactions with his parents, you were a puddle. He was the sweetest guy you'd ever met, but you were convinced you couldn't have him. And he thought the same things about you, sadly enough.

Unknowingly to you, Mark had fallen in complete love with you the same exact day. When he watched you help his mom out with dinner then again afterwards with dishes his heart pounded. Ethan was teasing him all night. Ethan had done everything but tell you guys that you liked the other to try to get you together, sending you two out on drives to get something for a party, making you two a team during every game on the PlayStation, encouraging you guys to enroll in the same classes for junior year, and more.

You hadn't seen Mark all summer after the trip in late June, you'd texted a lot though. He'd even called you a couple of times, which always made you scared because no one had ever just called you to talk to you like he did.

No matter how much Ethan pressured you to tell Mark how you felt, you were always too scared. You'd only ever had two boyfriends before, and they were not good guys, so you didn't really know what it felt like when a guy really loved you.

It was two weeks into the school year and you still hadn't seen Ethan or Mark yet. You were lying in your bed with your eyes closed after class when your phone rang, you jumped, grabbing your phone, seeing 'Mark Estapa🤍" at the top of your screen. You tensed for a second, sliding your finger across your screen to answer and hitting the speaker button.

"Hello?"

Mark smiled when he heard your voice, blush dusting the tips of his ears.

"Hey! What's up? Do you have plans for tonight?"

"No, should I? Is there an Alpha Phi party Ethe didn't tell me about?"

You sat up in your bed, rubbing your eyes and flattening your hair.

"No, no party. I wanted to ask if you maybe want to go get dinner or something, maybe we could go walk around target or something."

You blushed at his proposal, you knew it was just a hangout, but dinner with Mark was like, all you ever wanted. You accepted gently, not trying to sound desperate to see him.

"Okay, great. Can I come pick you up in like 20?"

You accepted again, quickly saying goodbye and texting Mark your new address so you could get ready. You'd just moved off campus and into an apartment for your junior year. It was 50° and felt like 45° in Ann Arbor, perfect fall weather, so you made sure to wear warm clothes.

You slipped on your Ugg slippers right when Mark knocked on your door. You opened the door with a big smile, Mark's face adorned by his usual grin.

"Hi Mark, oh my gosh I haven't seen you in forever!"

You were gonna use that as your excuse to hug him. He greeted you sweetly, squeezing you tightly. When you both pulled away from each other you admired his face, his rosy cheeks from the cold weather, how comfy and warm he looked in his big Wolverine Hockey sweatshirt, everything.

You guys exited your apartment building silently, when you got to Mark's car he went up ahead of you and opened the door for you. You looked up at him and smiled sweetly.

"My hero."

He nodded and laughed, making sure you were securely in the car before closing your door, running around the front of the car to get in. You turned on your seat warmer while he buckled up, he looked over at you and smiled again, and you raised your eyebrows at him, silently asking him 'what??' he just laughed and shook his head.

You plugged your phone into the car so you could play music, Mark didn't fight you over it, he never did. He loved watching you lip-sync to the music you loved, even though you didn't think he saw you. He smiled as he glanced over to you while stopped at a red light, the red illuminating your face as you sang silently along with Bad Habit by Steve Lacy. He thought the song choice was funny because he literally did wish you knew he wanted you.

This was the you that he loved, the girl who wasn't constantly stressed over people who didn't deserve even half a second of her attention. He snapped out of his trance on you when the light on your face turned green. He drove to your guys' favorite place to eat fast.

You were quickly texting your mom back when you pulled up to the restaurant. Mark hopped out of the car with haste and got around the car before you could get your seatbelt off, opening your door for you, holding out a hand so you could balance.

Your cheeks warmed as you accepted his hand, letting him help pull you out of his warm car, and into the cold of Ann Arbor. You both ran across the parking lot to get away from the cold, Mark running around you once you'd crossed the street so he could open the door for you. He was the sweetest guy you'd ever met. You guys greeted the staff that knew you two well as the "friends" that come in every week together.

Your favorite waitress brought you to your usual booth, taking your drink orders then taking off. Said waitress was the same woman that always would tell you and Mark that you guys were perfect for each other when one of you was in the bathroom and the other was left at the table. You and Mark had both sat on the same side of the booth always, you guys just liked it better that way, and it was always both of yours' side when you came with other people.

Taylor Swift was playing lowly through the restaurant while you guys pretended to look through the menus, acting like you didn't get the same thing every time.

After you guys ordered, you started talking about summer, and what you guys had done since June 27th, when you'd seen each other last. You told Mark how you spent July with your family and then August with your friends in Miami.

i want you to know, i'm a mirrorball. i'll can change everything, about me to fit in.

"-but you know partying is never that fun with that group of girls because I always am the DD and they all always get absolutely blackout plastered and none of them are good drunks and it just-"

"You know I hate when you do that?"

You halted, staring at him with furrowed eyebrows. You were shocked, did you make Mark upset? You didn't think you'd said anything bad. You couldn't even get a 'what?' in before Mark started again.

"When you let those girls walk all over you. You don't deserve to go out with them just to take care of them while they do whatever they want all night. It just makes me like sad to see you literally hate every time you go out with them. You don't always have to take care of everyone. You can let people do things for you, and let people do things for themselves, okay? You can do something for yourself for once."

you are not like the regulars. the masquerade revelers. drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten.

You were stunned. You'd never had anyone care about you like that before, you'd always felt like you had to let everyone depend on you since you were so little. You'd never had a Mark before. Someone who'd let you be you, someone who wouldn't let you go out of your way and hurt yourself to make sure other people are happy.

You didn't know what to say, you hugged him, though. You hugged him tighter than you ever had. And he held you so gently as if you would break. You didn't even know you were tearing up until your vision clouded over.

"Thank you, Mark. I just- I've been taking care of everyone around me since I can even remember. My little brothers and sister were always my responsibility when I was little and it just stuck and now I feel bad if I don't do anything I can to make the people I love happy. But thank you, um wow yeah thank you, Mark."

You both pulled away, he nodded with a straight face. You quickly wiped under your eyes and turned back to the table, you didn't know what to do now.

"Sorry if I just like, made that awkward, but I just really care about you and I don't like when you're with those girls 'cause they don't make you happy."

I love you. I love you. I love you.

That's what Mark wishes he could say.

hush, when no one is around my dear. you'll find me on my tallest tiptoes, spinnin' in my, highest heels, love. shinin' just for you.

"You didn't, it's not awkward Mark."

You giggled and shook your head at him, asking him how his summer went in turn. He went on about all his plans and it just mesmerized you. The way he talked was everything to you, how excited he got over little things, how enthusiastic he was about almost everything. You loved how bright he was while also being able to understand you and be serious.

You guys got your food and ate while talking about more random things. Mark got up and went to the bathroom right after you both finished, while you sat and waited on him and the check. Mark walked back from the bathroom minutes later and when he got to the booth he held out his hand to help you out of it.

"Mark the check didn't come yet. We can't leave."

He smile got bigger, you could already tell what he was about to say.

"Well I just paid so I think we're fine."

You rolled your eyes at him, lightly pushing him after you accepted his help out of the booth, telling him you’re paying him back somehow. When you got into the car you checked the time, 8:13 p.m. Target closed at 10, so you decided to drive over to it and check it out.

hush, i know they said the end is near. but i'm still on my tallest tiptoes, spinnin' in my highest heels, love. shinin' just for you.

You played more music in the car, and at every red light Mark would watch you sing along silently, and whenever you were driving, you'd glance over at Mark, admiring the slope of his nose and his sharp jawline. He was beautiful, to say the least, but staring at him while Ceyando by Frank Ocean played in the background was breathtaking.

You guys stopped at a red light, and then Mark's eyes met yours. You quickly looked away, staring straight ahead at the road in front of you guys. If the red light wasn't shining down on you guys, Mark would've seen the way you blushed. You were everything to him, everything.

and they called off the circus, burned the disco down. when they sent home the horses, and the rodeo clowns. i'm still on that tightrope. i'm still trying everything, to get you laughin' at me.

When you got to Target, Mark opened your door like always. You guys rush inside to fight the cold weather, giggling like little kids. Before you guys start looking around, Mark goes to the bathroom, claiming how he didn't actually get to go at the restaurant.

While he was away, you ordered Starbucks for the two of you, happy that you were partially repaying him for dinner. You waited outside the bathrooms with two hot chocolates in your hand and a big smile on your face. Mark as always, argues with you when you hand him the drink. You ignore him and grab a cart.

You push the cart through the store, both of your cups taking space in the cupholders on the cart. You both throw in random things you need for your homes, from paper towels to shampoo to Gatorade. You gasp with excitement when you see the books and music section, your favorite part of the whole store. You abandon the cart with Mark, running over to the vinyl.

Now that you had your own apartment, you could finally bring your record player from home and have room with it.

"When was the last time you listened to something on vinyl?"

Mark teased you but admired you also as you scoured the shelves of vinyl, gasping at every Taylor Swift or Harry Styles album.

"Well actually Estapa, my new apartment has enough room for my record player now so I listened to one like two days ago!"

He nodded with an amused look, letting out an 'Oh yeah?' to which to nodded aggressively.

Mark saw the way your movements halted when your eyes landed on one vinyl that was at the very back of the stack. Mark recognized it to be a Taylor Swift album, because you had played it in his car before, but he wasn't exactly sure what it was called.

"Oh my god. This is the Folklore Deluxe album, the red pressing. This is so weird, I left this at home for my little sister to have before school started. I haven't seen this album in Target in like over a year."

Mark nodded along with your words, a big smile on his face as he watched how excited you were.

"Oh my gosh I need to play this for you. Okay, on the way home we're listening to the whole thing okay?"

"Yeah, alright, we'll listen to it."

You squealed, giggling as you slid the vinyl into the cart. Mark pushed the cart behind you as you looked through the books, grabbing two that had been on your 'tbr' list for a while.

Mark let his thoughts wander into delusion as he pushed the cart behind you. He thought about grocery shopping with you like you were married. He shocked himself with that thought, quickly shaking it from his head. He hadn't even told you he liked you yet.

You two went to the self-checkouts, splitting your items up and paying. Mark pushed the cart behind you as you exited Target, while you jogged to the car, the cold air seeping into your jacket. You jumped up and down slightly as Mark took as long as possible to get to the car.

You guys quickly loaded the bags into his trunk, and you insisted on pushing the cart back to the cart corral. When you walked back to the car, a crazy thought appeared in your mind. You thought about being married to Mark and loading your shared groceries into your shared car. Lord, you hadn't even told him you liked him yet.

You got back to the car to see your door open and waiting for you. When you got in, the heater in your seat and pushing through the vents enveloped you. Mark smiled, holding up the aux cord for you. You grinned back, snatching it from him and pulling up Spotify, clicking on folklore (deluxe version).

"Okay so, the album starts with 'the 1', and it's about like thinking about your ex that you thought was your soulmate and wishing they were just a little different so that it could've worked out."

"Oh okay, I think you've played this one before."

You nodded as the song faded in, letting him listen to the song. Mark especially loved when you played Taylor Swift, because you always lip sync the "hardest" to her. 'my tears ricochet' faded out when you pulled up to your apartment.

"Oh my gosh, Mark you have to come in and let me play the rest for you. Please? You're gonna love it I promise. Oh, and we can make those cookies we picked out!"

Mark didn't even have to think for two seconds before agreeing, not that he could ever say no to you. The idea of spending the rest of the night with you sounded like heaven. You had Mark park in a visitor spot and you both got out of the car, grabbing your bags from the back. Mark insisted on carrying 4/5 of your bags, even when you argued with him. You led him up and into your apartment. You both took your shoes off by your door, dropping your bags on the kitchen counter.

and i'm still a believer, but i don't know why. i've never been a natural, all i do is try, try, try.

"Sorry it's a little disorganized, I'm still in the rearranging everything stage."

Mark walked in and immediately loved the vibe of your apartment. It was so warm and it smelled good and just was so you.

"I think it looks great, don't worry."

You blushed at that, feeling all giddy over a boy liking the way you had your apartment decorated. You started to put away your perishable groceries but then noticed Mark standing awkwardly on the other side of your kitchen.

"Oh sorry Mark, please make yourself at home!"

He smiled and nodded, walking around the counter over to you, asking if you needed any help with groceries. You asked him to preheat the oven, and he immediately agreed. You then heard a confused call of your name.

"Your oven is like a fuckin' spaceship. How do you work this?"

You laughed so loud, Mark loved it. You walked over from where you were putting the Halloween-themed cookie dough on a baking sheet and stood between Mark and your oven. You preheat the oven successfully before turning around to make a snarky comment but then realized your proximity. Both of your faces warmed before Mark backed away, rubbing the back of his neck with a smile.

It was a little awkward for a beat before you remembered what you invited him in for.

"Oh my gosh, come over here, look at my record player area! It's my favorite place I have decorated so far."

You grabbed your new vinyl off the counter, sliding on your socks over to where you had your record player set up in your living room. You carefully took the wrap off of your new record, grabbing the first vinyl out and gently placing it on your player. You moved the needle to where track 6 started and turned it on, letting the needle drop onto the vinyl.

"This one is my favorite on folklore, it's about like being a people pleaser but also having someone who you don't have to be like that for."

You avoided looking right at Mark when you said it because you realized that's exactly how you felt about him. He was one of the only people that you didn't have to perform for, the one person who preferred when you didn't. What you didn't know was that Mark was smiling so big when you said what the song was about, thinking of you and himself.

You turned up the volume, walking back over to your kitchen to slide the cookies into the oven when the oven beeped, signaling it was finished preheating. You turned and saw Mark standing at your counter, staring right back at you.

"Hmm, oh! You've never been here before, let me give you the tour."

You turned up the record player once again, so you could hear it throughout your space, and led Mark over to the hallway that led to everything else in your apartment.

"So obviously my kitchen and living room, there's a coat closet, but it's pretty much empty still so whatever."

You showed him the bathroom, another closet, laundry room, and then finally you got to your bedroom.

"Okay this is my bedroom, I'm actually like just finishing up with my decorating in here, sorry if it's a little messy."

Mark thought your room looked spotless and beautiful. Everything just screamed you so he loved it. Your salt lamp dimly illuminated your room from your nightstand, the song dancing through the air of your room. Mark looked all around your room before stopping when he saw your photo wall.

There were dozens of photos, Polaroids and printed pictures, photo booth strips, and other mementos from various occasions taped on the wall.

When you saw Mark halted at your wall, you hoped he didn't realize how much of him there was on it. Every picture of you and Mark in existence was printed out and taped to your wall. The ticket stub from when he took you to The Little Mermaid in May. A cut-out drawing he doodled on your page during class once, he was surprisingly good at drawing hockey jerseys.

Mark noticed how often he came up on your wall, then there was one photo that made his eyes widen a little and his heart jump. It was a Polaroid of you and him at a party last year, your arm around his neck as you both smiled widely. That wasn't even the best part to him, the best part was that on the margin underneath the picture, there was just the date, a dash, and then a heart drawn.

He looked over at you and there was a different look in both of your guys' eyes. Some kind of understanding, but still a little bit of fear that your feelings were unrequited. You walked over to Mark, pointing at the photo he had been staring at.

"That's my favorite picture like, ever. That's why it's in the very middle of all of them."

Mark just stared at you, as you stared at the picture. He was so in love with you, it would probably physically hurt him if he held back telling you any longer.

"I think I'm in love with you."

Your eyes widened, head snapping in his direction. You blushed so deep red, that it even spread to your ears. You were stunned, you literally couldn't move your mouth, Mark had just told you exactly what you think every time you look at him. He was in love with you? You would jump up and down in victory, but your downstairs neighbors might not like that. Mark didn't take your silence well, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck as he blushed madly.

"Well no I know I am but like it's cool-"

You kissed him, you kissed him. You kissed Mark Estapa after he told you he was in love with you. What fucking universe is this? You kissed him as the bridge of seven played through your home. Your hands framed his face as his hands instinctively held your hips. Butterflies were all either of you felt, whole body tingling and excitement as you kissed each other.

When you pulled away, you were both out of breath, you stared at Mark, so incredibly flustered. Mark took in your rattled appearance and his confidence skyrocketed. He had just got the girl, he was on top of the world.

"So, does that mean like, you like me back or?"

You pushed at his chest, covering your warm face with your hands, hiding your embarrassment and big smile.

"Shut your mouth, but yes."

Mark grinned even wider than he already was, wrapping you up in a hug as august started playing. You both stood there for a minute, taking the moment in. You stood until the timer on the oven went off, indicating your cookies had finished. You pulled out of the hug, taking both of Mark's hands and leading him back to your kitchen, not before he could let out a funny comment.

"I really like this album by the way."

You let out an 'oh yeah?', giggling at his stupidity. You couldn't believe you'd finally gotten him. He was yours, and you could definitely tell that he was the 1.

because i'm a mirrorball. i'm a mirrorball, and i'll show you every version of yourself tonight.

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