#i am genuinely jealous of you!

[wildereader]

2024 reading goals

For the past few years, I've been very into the goodreads/storygraph reading challenges, where I decide how many books and pages I want to read over the course of the year and then race myself to the finish line.

I had fun the first few times I did it, especially since it was how I got myself back into reading - throughout most of high school and college, I stopped reading a lot for fun because of the pressures of school and extracurriculars.

However, 2023 was the year that I really went hard with my reading. By the end of last night - New Year's Eve - I had read a whopping 149 books in one year.

Granted, a very good percentage of those were volumes 12-52 of One Piece - I watched the live action with a friend who loves the series, and I had so much fun watching it that I needed to continue the story immediately. 40 volumes is a lot of reading for sure, but since manga doesn't take me long to read, it didn't feel like a lot until I saw how it absolutely swept all of my stats!

I was also unemployed for the first half of 2023, so I had all the time in the world at that point in between job searching and applying (and crying and questioning everything) to read. Those months were hard for a lot of reasons, but I am grateful and I know I'm lucky to have had so much time to do something I love.

But if 2023 was my year of quantity when it came to my reading, 2024 is going to be my year of quality.

And I don't just mean the quality of the books I read - I would say almost everything I read in 2023 was of good quality. I mostly mean quality time with the books. I don't just want to speed through a book because I've arbitrarily decided I need to finish it in a certain number of days, or I need to read a certain number of books by the end of a month, or I need to outdo my 2023 self... absolutely not. I want to rediscover my passion for reading. I want to find new favorites, or spend time reading old ones and falling in love with them all over again. I want to read with intention, I want to think about the books I read, I want to be able to give good critique and analysis and in-depth thoughts on them.

And for me, I know that doing all that to the best of my ability means that I will need to spend time with them.

So often, I get overwhelmed at the amount of books I want to read, the amount of books that are coming out in a year, the amount of books I've never heard of but I will surely find interesting, if only I did know about them. I guess you could think of it as a kind of FOMO for books. That's definitely the driving force for me behind my desire to get through as many books as quickly as I can - because there are still so many that I want to read next! So many that I own, so many that my friends recommend, so many that I see talked about online, so many I see on the shelves at the library that I can just take home and dive into for free!

But I cannot keep up the pace at which I was reading in 2023. As I got further into the year, as I racked up more and more books on my Goodreads, as the serotonin neurons were firing in my brain at watching the colorful Storygraph graphs morph and grow over the year... I found my joy for reading slowly siphoning away. As I read more than I ever had in the course of a year, I just felt more and more indifferent toward everything I was reading. I was too focused on my plans for what to read next, I wasn't paying attention to what I was reading in the moment (sorry for the kitschiness of the sentiment). It's definitely some kind of burnout - and I love reading too much to allow it to progress any further.

I certainly have books that I'm aiming to read this year - probably a couple dozen at least. But I'm not going to push myself to read them all. I'll be more forgiving with myself for taking a long time to read a book. It will take time to break these reading habits I've gotten myself into, but I know it will be worth it. I know I'll thank myself in the long run.

#and before anyone gets mad because i know 'quality vs quantity' is an age-old debate in the reading community: this post is about ME #and MY reading experiences #if you can read dozens and dozens of books in a year and have quality experiences with each of them that is so fantastic! #i am genuinely jealous of you! #i however know my limits now and cannot. #mckay speaks #bookblr #booklr #reading goals #reading journal #bookworm #book lover #bibliophile #bookish #book blog #readers of tumblr

[l3irdl3rain]

I’m sure I’ve told you guys before about my coworker at my part time warehouse job that hates Duncan but I had to work with her again tonight and she was on her bullshit regarding him again.

I would like to clarify, this doesn’t upset me. I mean it does in the sense of “I can’t stand her and she’s a bitch” but also it’s fine. She can think what she wants to think. What matters is that I know Duncan is happy and I love him.

BUT ALL THAT TO SAY! It is so funny to me that she is a grown woman and this is who she has beef with. He’s just a little fella. Girl you are so dumb to be beefing with a cat.

Anyways he’s mad in this video because I stopped him from trying to eat Gertrude’s breakfast and gave him a bath.

#I haven’t had to see her in a few months bc I only work a few hours a week there and she had a temporary schedule change #and tonight she was like ‘oh I saw you did a fundraiser for Duncan… hmmm what is the point of that?’ #‘if his condition isn’t curable what can the neurologist even do for you?’ #and like a regular person this could be genuine curiousity #but I am not dumb. she believes I am wasting ppl’s money #she is just jealous that ppl like Duncan more than her #I keep the peace bc I don’t want to make the work environment hostile but I won’t give her the time of day anymore #I also went to HR and was like ‘you guys have to make her leave me alone before I kill her’ #and they actually switched her department so I won’t have to work directly with her anymore #my post #Duncan

[crispywizardtale]

#is it ridiculous i cried over this scene???? #i genuinely did cry over this whole scene #that lap kiss was so beautiful #i got butterflies and then i just started crying #it was so beautiful #joongdunk always and i mean ALWAYS deliver #also the hands on the 4th gif?!?!?!? #i need more kissing hand tropes in bls desperately #Joong kissing is no Joke #pun unintended but fitting #i love how you can see ths kiss starting off gently but you can also see the moment Joong takes it up #i am not jealous #just extremely envious #hidden agenda the series #hidden agenda #joong archen #joongdunk #dunk natachai

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

YOURE TELLING ME THAT beFORE THIS SCENE EL HAD ✨CANONICALLY✨ TOLD MIKE THAT WILL WAS PAINTING SOMETHING FOR A GIRL HE LIKES

MICHAEL YOUR JEALOUSY IS SHOWING

#I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL #NO WONDER MIKE SEEMED SO PUT OFF BY THE PAINTING #HE NEVER THOUGHT FOR ONE SEC IT WAS FOR HIM #THE WAY HIS SMILE JUST DROPS WHEN HE SEES THE PAINTING #“cool” MY MAN IS TRYING SO HARD TO HOLD IT TOGETHER LMAOOO #byler #mike wheeler i know what you are #mike wheeler is a simp #jealous mike wheeler #I GENUINELY THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A FANFIC THING AM I HALLUCINATING

[mishapen-dear]

i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo.

#and also. not enough #that one big summary of his Deal was like . 1k words. #and it brushed over so much shit #like his trust issues and the vacation arc and his criminal background (on qsmp) and the way he was the first to take protecting the #eggs seriously and i dont even KNOW enough about his relationship with maxo and the french that is a big blindspot for me but bad and max #(and foolish?) og founders of the theory bros the first people who started questioning cucurucho and then the french his family the people #who keep proving to be on his side over and over and i love it when he hangs out with pierre and talks create #and when he chills with antoine and helps fix the big spinning ring #and his WEIRD warrior's bond with etoiles (bad always gets along with the protectors have you noticed that #forever was the second big egg protector and baghera took care of pomme from the start and cellbit threw himself to the feds to try to help #the island and etoiles took the weight of the code attacks from bad's shoulders to his own in entirety. he respects them all a lot and i am #chewing him to pieces) #and his relationship with baghera!!!! she can read him so so well and he fucking trusts her enough to be dapper's mom #he may have felt weird about it and was jealous and :c because tahts HIS dapper but #he didn't kill her about it #or really do anything to discourage it #and he noticed her tear streaks and her leg and got Worried about the federation 'fixing' her and #genuinely he was so so happy when he realized she was back he went !!! mode #look. LOOK at these fucking tags. look back at the post. i can Keep Talking. #my point remains i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo #shit and i didn't even TALK about his weird bullshit with foolish #i need a giant corkboard

[pillowprincessvarric]

Was trying to explain this to my mom the other day but it's genuinely funny to me how fundamentally different of a video game playing experience I am having in comparison to my peers on the world wide web. Every one's constantly talking about mods and PC specifications and how to make your mods actually work and how to fix the launcher (still don't know what that is) and isn't this mod so cool and I bought a new graphics card and aaaas I gotta clear up some space because Smeegle Tower is updating anf the update is great but it's also 300kb. And it's like cool! Well I put my Fallout 3 disc that still has the Blockbuster barcode on it into my used ps3 last night, it started up immediately and I played it until it crashed and then I went to bed.

#to be clear im jealous of you guys that you get to play with mods but also its like wow. #am i genuinely the only guy left who's playing games vanilla. thats crazy

[clowndensation]

x if anything about this feels like it doesn't fit, that's because you don't understand the profound effect charoum and gorty have had on each other.

#'vinnie why is gortash's icon a pink crown that says 'princess' on it?' #how about we stop talking for a little while. #key points: i don't think you can want to become archduke of bg and NOT crave attention. he wants to be the specialest guy in the universe #however his desire for attention is an ego thing. #charoum wants attention because he am feel uncomfortable when things are not about him? #similarly gorty is definitely MORE cautious than charoum. but you can't be TOO cautious and also want to take over the world. #recklessness is required to accomplish big things. #charoum is overconfident and believes he can be reckless and survive so he's further on the scale than gorty #similarly taking over the world is not something a typically exhausted person undertakes. that requires energy. #kinky/vanilla TBH i don't think gorty particularly cares. he needs to be mentally engaged. everything else depends on the other person #that said i don't think he'd be mentally engaged with a person who's ideal sex life is missionary sex with the lights off. so. #also jealousy: neither of them is ACTUALLY that jealous because they have egos the size of the sun and are certain they hold an important #place in each other's lives #charoum randomly decides to get jealous when he's bored and in the mood to be annoying #gorty almost full stop doesn't get jealous at all. although he will get possessive at times and force that onto charoum #which i'm lumping into the jealousy stat #ascended astarion i GENUINELY don't think has what it takes to worship anybody. #however there's a hole in the triumvirate that needs filling. and by god if ascended astarion doesn't know how to fill a hole- #charoum

[turbocao]

Yo I've started Hunter x Hunter (idk why) and I'm actually enjoying it quite a lot? (also idk why)

#Turbotxt #I was expecting not to like it so much I think bc the character design always made me think ''wth is going on in there'' #But I am actually enjoying it #Like #Gon is not the most charismatic main character out there #At least at the beginning #But I'm like 30 episodes in rn and I think his personality comes together with time #It took me like 5 or 6 episodes to put the knitting needles down #I like that the pace is somewhat slow compared to shonens today #You get one thing going on in each episode and 9/10 times it gets resolved in that same episode #Idk what it is but like the power level of each character is like very clearly defined? Somehow? Like there's something satisfying about it #Like you can tell Killua is strong from the very beginning but they don't tell you exactly HOW strong #So I was genuinely surprised when he did The Thing #And then there's people stronger than him and it just makes so much sense #And I love that he's not your token edgy Sasuke #Like he's got Edgy Sasuke bits here and there but he's also childish he just wants to have fun he gets jealous sometimes etc #It's a nice characterization #Why did they have their Hunter Exam at the Córdoba Mosque/Alhambra though #What was up with that #Either way I'm 100% in #Really really enjoying it

[etherealising]

poll courtesy of @anakinswh0re3005’s comment about wanting pure baby content, specifically her copenhagen adventures. thank you for the inspo lovie! 🩵

#listen i am all for this! #i am genuinely all for making carmy jealous #and this is the potential catalyst we need! #plus i think we could use a nice cold refresher from the pain that is the main story #all i ever knew only you ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

[softquietsteadylove]

would you write another chapter with Thenamesh spies AU? your last prompt with them was just amazing and i would love to read a bit more with them!

Thank you for your work!

"Eyes on me?" Thena asked, seeming to talk to herself as her earpiece picked up her words.

"Are they ever."

"Gil," she chastised, trying not to smile to herself in the midst of the lavish party. She floated through the crowd, pretending to admire the decor, the artwork on the walls, the many a-list guests swimming about.

She had argued that Gilgamesh would be a better choice for actually roaming the party. He was talkative, charming, would be much more useful in getting key clues from those in attendance about their target.

But her ability to visually stand out but remain quiet would come in handy--she was just close enough facially to another family of guests to get in by recognition with only a fake name on the guest list.

"Anything yet?" he asked from his end, where he was working the coat check-in, hoping to get an early look at everyone in attendance.

"No word," Thena sighed into her untouched glass of champagne. She tipped it up to her lips periodically, pretending to take delicate little sips. "Any sighting?"

"I've seen two associates who were present at the last deal, but no sign of the man himself," Gil muttered back.

Thena heard him accept the coat of another guest in her ear and slipped around a corner.

"He's here."

Thena gently pulled the skirt of her dress, walking only slightly more briskly from the depths of the party to the coat closet. She could slip in through the back of it because of a vent panel Gil had left loosened for her.

"Good evening, sir," she heard Gil greet warmly.

"If I see a speck of dirt on that-" their target huffed at Gil immediately.

His debt was showing. Only the truly wealthy didn't care about the condition of their luxury items. Their target evidently hadn't embezzled enough from his multiple black market deals to feel secure again yet.

"Of course, sir," Gil responded and probably even smiled at the ass hole. "Nothing but the best."

"Prick," Thena muttered under her breath as she closed and locked the study door behind her and made her way to the corner of the room and up the bookshelf.

"Don't make me laugh, I have to be serious," Gil whispered to her.

She did her best not to laugh either, but it was hard not to with Gil as her partner. She slithered up the shelves and into the vent near the top of the room. It was a little smaller than she would like; these old houses had miserable ventilation, but luckily the modern H-Vac installations still made them manageable. "Meet you in there?"

"I've never had the opportunity to sneak off to the coat closet before," Gil teased her as he made his way away from the front entrance and into the walk-in closet.

"You weren't a ladies man in the academy?" Thena teased right back as she made her way one room across.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that."

Thena let out a real laugh as she reached her destination. She pushed out and caught the vent cover in one clean move, poking her head out. "Got me?"

"Always," Gil smiled up at her, ready to catch her as she slid out of the vent in her slippery silk dress. She turned herself over mid-air and landed in his arms like a princess from a fairy tale. He bounced her in his arms, making her laugh again. "Miss, if you needed your coat, you could have just asked."

"This way was faster," she shook her head as he set her down in her stocking feet (her shoes would have only caused unnecessary noise in the vent). She tiptoed through the room behind him as he led her to their target's coat. "Ugh, men like this need to learn that less cologne is more."

"I know, I feel like it's all over my hands," Gil lamented with a sigh as he pulled it off the rack. "Nothing at all in the real pockets, but I thought there might be something in the lining."

Thena ran her hands over both sides of the heavy wool and its satin lining. It was a beautifully made garment, and Gil was right to be suspicious of the pockets. "In the side here."

Gil held it taut for her as she pulled the slit of her dress upward. He averted his eyes, blushing as she reached up to the inside of her thigh.

Thena shook her head at it as she retrieved the knife she had snuck in. Gil had quite an innocent side to him--a belief in chivalry, of sorts, even in their line of work.

"Where is that coat boy?!"

"Shit," Gil cursed, rushing to hang the coat up again. But they were pretty far from their exit point and the front doors were already opened. "Sorry--c'mere."

Thena didn't have time to ask why he had apologised before he pulled her in, arm around her waist, sealing their lips together. Her eyes fluttered closed and - intentional or not - she let out a moan.

"Who's in here?!!"

Gil moaned against her as well, moving his hands over her back to her bare shoulders. He leaned his body, deliberately shaking the coat racks on either side of them.

"What are you doing?!" one of the house's main staff demanded loudly, shining a flashlight at Gil.

"Uh, s-sorry, Boss!" Gil stuttered, turning around and making a show of rubbing her lipstick off his skin.

"And you!" the flashlight bounced around as Thena made an effort to pull out a few stray hairs from her immaculate bun. "I do not--Madam!"

Thena raised a cool brow at him, dabbing at her lips delicately (as a woman of her cover's raising would).

"I-I-I am terribly sorry to disturb you," the butler bowed to her as he would any guest, turning down his flashlight and scurrying out of the room.

Both spies waited to the count of five before letting out a breath of relief.

"That was too close," Gil sighed, putting a hand over his pounding heart. He glanced at Thena as she tucked back the hair she had just pulled out. "Sorry to, uh, jump you like that."

Thena cleared her throat, glad they were back in the near pitch black of the room, feeling an unfortunate surge of heat under her skin. "It was quick thinking, although I'm sure the staff are already whispering about the heiress of a prestigious Russian family making out with a coat check boy."

"Well, maybe he was a very charming coat check boy," Gil shrugged, giving his same old smile as he pulled the coat off its hanger again. "Round two?"

Thena retrieved her knife again, ready to cut open the coat seam and find his secret dossier of information. It gave her something to concentrate on at least, aside from not letting Gil know she was breathing a little too hard after that kiss.

#Thenamesh Spy AU #okay but I love this au #so thank you for asking for more of it #and also #for the record #I loved the line 'I hope she doesn't mind I invited my wife' #but I never actually clarified #they're not actually married #I don't think this au would allow them that kind of time #but does he call her his wife from time to time #yes absolutely #This Thena is the only one that would ever have to experience #Gil like actually flirting (for the mission) #and because of that she has more opportunity to be genuinely jealous #but they're partners #in every way #truly inseparable from each other #their handler is like I am begging you two to have more boundaries as coworkers #and Gil and Thena are sitting with their legs in each other's laps #feeding one another grapes like sorry what were you saying?

[nonsensegnomes]

just wanna chime in with, god you GOTTA watch the dirties, it’s genuinely insane how good it is - a truly AIRTIGHT found footage film

do NOT even worry about it my friend i am sooooo far ahead of you on this front – i had the archive.org file up on my laptop when you sent this ask, and now 2 days later i've watched it twice... and STILL i cannot get that cliff scene fight out of my head! movie that makes you go what in all this is real we are!!!

#just realised as i was typing that that quote is from destiel well when they're right they're right #anyway i have fallen headfirst down the zapruder films rabbithole these last few weeks & i SQUARELY blame you <3 #reeled in by the funny video game music skits #but hooked by the bleedthrough of reality to stories + the genuinely groundbreaking take on 'guerilla filmmaking' #ough augh when the Form Leads Function........... #the dirties #asks #mifhortunach #also crazy gender stuff going on in that movie like i can't even get into it #not even malkovich malkovich scene (CRAZY. to show to your class of high school bullies.) #but when he's watching it back afterwards all quiet + compare when he says it's like watching things happen to a different person on film #AND later when matt's like she's just a dumb girl and owen's like oh you're just jealous i'm talking to another girl........ #oops guess i am getting into it 🙃

[hilsoncrater]

:)

#i. hope i get accepted to this one residential program #maybe if i'm under observation 24/7 for 30+ days someone can figure out what is wrong with me #'why dont you take your meds? why don't you start working out?' how do i explain that i WANT to?? #that i would do those things if it weren't for the void block?? how do i say that without making it sound like an excuse??? #my sister's been consistently working out every day for 2 months and she's dropped weight and clothes fit her #and i'm jealous because in two months i became a size bigger #like she went down a size & i went up a size. i'm DOUBLE her size now #but she's SO happy about her progress + her body + her confidence while always high is at an all time high #and i am proud of her!!!! i'm so happy for her!!!! genuinely!!! #but privately i'm. extremely jealous of everything she's got going on #not just her confidence or related to working out either. it's deadass EVERYTHING #she's got a 4.5 GPA; she's well-liked socially; she has friends; she's in club activities; her humor is unmatched; she's positive #idk how to explain that whenever i see her i feel like that she is the ghost of who i should've been when i was her age

[man-made-misery]

This is just a rant sorry

#i wish i had a group of friends #how do you make friends in your mid 20s #i fell out of touch with my school friends #and then had a big falling out with my uni friends #and now i have one friend i see regularly #and 3 friends i talk to but dont see ever #and it's lonely ): #i try not to get too stressed about it but i am genuinely very sad about it #i just need this out of my system before i hang out with my 1 friend and they ask why im sad #and i have to tell them its because im jealous they have a big group of friends and i dont lmao #anyway i hate being emotional on main so here's a horse 🐎

[fragglez]

i think it's very homophobic that i somehow managed to go to prom with a girl, dance les lanciers with her and then move schools cus we graduated, and THEN realize i had a crush on her

#i am beyond oblivious #*me everytime i had to talk about her* #oh shes wonderful she is like genuinely the nicest person you could ever meet and she's so smart too and- #hOW DID YOU NOT KNOW #at our graduation party one week before the actual graduation she started talking with this guy #and he just would not leave her alone even in school #and she was a pretty chill shyish person so it was very strange to suddenly see her surrounded by people #and i remember going “she probably doesnt even like him..hes so weird..why is he so obsessed” #boy you are just jealous okay youll find out in approx 3 months

[artekai]

I need to stop making OCs who are emotionally fucked up from being overshadowed by someone in their life who they perceive as more successful or likeable than themselves, everyone's gonna think there's something wrong with me orz

#personal #oc tag #uhmmmm oversharing in the tags so warning for that sajhdjhshj >>> #there are many things wrong with me but this one is like the least of my concerns ahjsdjfhh #BUT WHY IS IT SUCH A COMMON DENOMINATOR #artekai has aloy. fross has lis. kaito has takuto. bartenak has artekai. genuinely wtf #i haven't even started planning for jane's family and i already feel she's got the same thing going on 😭 #the only person i'm overshadowed by is the ghost of the person i thought i would be hahaha am i right fellas UP TOP 🖐 #i mean i do get jealous of people who seem to be doing much better than me sometimes and want to tear them apart but who doesn't? #i don't think i experience that feeling any more than the average person so WHY DO I KEEP GIVING IT TO MY OCS.... #at least dailah is safe because she IS desperate to prove herself but not to prove herself better than any specific person in her life #just to prove herself better than anyone who rejected her ❤️ god i hope she gets everything she wants. show those assholes #anyways i'm so sorry for psychoanalyzing myself through my ocs for the umpteenth time. do you still think i'm hot #or if you don't think i'm hot do you at least think they're hot

[gavily]

why do other drivers get to pinch, poke, and tease charles and i can’t this is so UNFAIR

#you don’t understand i am genuinely jealous of those men