#Gil like actually flirting (for the mission)

[softquietsteadylove]

would you write another chapter with Thenamesh spies AU? your last prompt with them was just amazing and i would love to read a bit more with them!

Thank you for your work!

"Eyes on me?" Thena asked, seeming to talk to herself as her earpiece picked up her words.

"Are they ever."

"Gil," she chastised, trying not to smile to herself in the midst of the lavish party. She floated through the crowd, pretending to admire the decor, the artwork on the walls, the many a-list guests swimming about.

She had argued that Gilgamesh would be a better choice for actually roaming the party. He was talkative, charming, would be much more useful in getting key clues from those in attendance about their target.

But her ability to visually stand out but remain quiet would come in handy--she was just close enough facially to another family of guests to get in by recognition with only a fake name on the guest list.

"Anything yet?" he asked from his end, where he was working the coat check-in, hoping to get an early look at everyone in attendance.

"No word," Thena sighed into her untouched glass of champagne. She tipped it up to her lips periodically, pretending to take delicate little sips. "Any sighting?"

"I've seen two associates who were present at the last deal, but no sign of the man himself," Gil muttered back.

Thena heard him accept the coat of another guest in her ear and slipped around a corner.

"He's here."

Thena gently pulled the skirt of her dress, walking only slightly more briskly from the depths of the party to the coat closet. She could slip in through the back of it because of a vent panel Gil had left loosened for her.

"Good evening, sir," she heard Gil greet warmly.

"If I see a speck of dirt on that-" their target huffed at Gil immediately.

His debt was showing. Only the truly wealthy didn't care about the condition of their luxury items. Their target evidently hadn't embezzled enough from his multiple black market deals to feel secure again yet.

"Of course, sir," Gil responded and probably even smiled at the ass hole. "Nothing but the best."

"Prick," Thena muttered under her breath as she closed and locked the study door behind her and made her way to the corner of the room and up the bookshelf.

"Don't make me laugh, I have to be serious," Gil whispered to her.

She did her best not to laugh either, but it was hard not to with Gil as her partner. She slithered up the shelves and into the vent near the top of the room. It was a little smaller than she would like; these old houses had miserable ventilation, but luckily the modern H-Vac installations still made them manageable. "Meet you in there?"

"I've never had the opportunity to sneak off to the coat closet before," Gil teased her as he made his way away from the front entrance and into the walk-in closet.

"You weren't a ladies man in the academy?" Thena teased right back as she made her way one room across.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that."

Thena let out a real laugh as she reached her destination. She pushed out and caught the vent cover in one clean move, poking her head out. "Got me?"

"Always," Gil smiled up at her, ready to catch her as she slid out of the vent in her slippery silk dress. She turned herself over mid-air and landed in his arms like a princess from a fairy tale. He bounced her in his arms, making her laugh again. "Miss, if you needed your coat, you could have just asked."

"This way was faster," she shook her head as he set her down in her stocking feet (her shoes would have only caused unnecessary noise in the vent). She tiptoed through the room behind him as he led her to their target's coat. "Ugh, men like this need to learn that less cologne is more."

"I know, I feel like it's all over my hands," Gil lamented with a sigh as he pulled it off the rack. "Nothing at all in the real pockets, but I thought there might be something in the lining."

Thena ran her hands over both sides of the heavy wool and its satin lining. It was a beautifully made garment, and Gil was right to be suspicious of the pockets. "In the side here."

Gil held it taut for her as she pulled the slit of her dress upward. He averted his eyes, blushing as she reached up to the inside of her thigh.

Thena shook her head at it as she retrieved the knife she had snuck in. Gil had quite an innocent side to him--a belief in chivalry, of sorts, even in their line of work.

"Where is that coat boy?!"

"Shit," Gil cursed, rushing to hang the coat up again. But they were pretty far from their exit point and the front doors were already opened. "Sorry--c'mere."

Thena didn't have time to ask why he had apologised before he pulled her in, arm around her waist, sealing their lips together. Her eyes fluttered closed and - intentional or not - she let out a moan.

"Who's in here?!!"

Gil moaned against her as well, moving his hands over her back to her bare shoulders. He leaned his body, deliberately shaking the coat racks on either side of them.

"What are you doing?!" one of the house's main staff demanded loudly, shining a flashlight at Gil.

"Uh, s-sorry, Boss!" Gil stuttered, turning around and making a show of rubbing her lipstick off his skin.

"And you!" the flashlight bounced around as Thena made an effort to pull out a few stray hairs from her immaculate bun. "I do not--Madam!"

Thena raised a cool brow at him, dabbing at her lips delicately (as a woman of her cover's raising would).

"I-I-I am terribly sorry to disturb you," the butler bowed to her as he would any guest, turning down his flashlight and scurrying out of the room.

Both spies waited to the count of five before letting out a breath of relief.

"That was too close," Gil sighed, putting a hand over his pounding heart. He glanced at Thena as she tucked back the hair she had just pulled out. "Sorry to, uh, jump you like that."

Thena cleared her throat, glad they were back in the near pitch black of the room, feeling an unfortunate surge of heat under her skin. "It was quick thinking, although I'm sure the staff are already whispering about the heiress of a prestigious Russian family making out with a coat check boy."

"Well, maybe he was a very charming coat check boy," Gil shrugged, giving his same old smile as he pulled the coat off its hanger again. "Round two?"

Thena retrieved her knife again, ready to cut open the coat seam and find his secret dossier of information. It gave her something to concentrate on at least, aside from not letting Gil know she was breathing a little too hard after that kiss.

#Thenamesh Spy AU #okay but I love this au #so thank you for asking for more of it #and also #for the record #I loved the line 'I hope she doesn't mind I invited my wife' #but I never actually clarified #they're not actually married #I don't think this au would allow them that kind of time #but does he call her his wife from time to time #yes absolutely #This Thena is the only one that would ever have to experience #Gil like actually flirting (for the mission) #and because of that she has more opportunity to be genuinely jealous #but they're partners #in every way #truly inseparable from each other #their handler is like I am begging you two to have more boundaries as coworkers #and Gil and Thena are sitting with their legs in each other's laps #feeding one another grapes like sorry what were you saying?

[atopearth]

Crisis Core -Final Fantasy VII- Reunion Review

Personally, I'm not a fan of Crisis Core or Zack (blasphemy, I know) because when I first played the original, I felt like it was trying way too hard to connect every little thing to the original Final Fantasy VII and banking in on that nostalgia so that everything is related and you're like "oh, that's connected, and that too" blah blah, and it just didn't feel like the game had its own personality. Anyway, I don't believe I ever ended up finishing the original so we'll see if my impressions will change now that time has passed and I've kinda accepted that Square Enix will milk Final Fantasy VII as much as they can and want to lol. The opening scene is basically similar if not the same as Final Fantasy VII and seeing Zack doing squats really made me remember that I definitely did play Crisis Core because I was like, I remember that scene! Genesis sounds familiar but rings no bells, most likely because I thought he was a boring character, and all I remember about Angeal is him carrying the Buster Sword. Genesis is a First Class Soldier who took some other Second Class and Third Class Soldiers with him and left or something? 🤔 This is definitely a remaster though because the graphics have improved but definitely not as good as the Final Fantasy VII Remake which is understandable.

I keep thinking circle is dodge and instead waste all my potions😭😭 Anyway, I was wondering why Wutai and Shinra were at war, but I guess I should have known, what else could it be about aside from Shinra wanting more areas to expand their use of mako energy😅 I remember meeting young Yuffie! It's kinda funny to see those hand motions she does when she's not a block, it's actually pretty silly looking and doesn't have the same effect as when she's a block tbh haha! I wonder how old she is right now? 10? Hmm, so Angeal and Genesis come from the same hometown. Oh wow, I don't need such a sad story for the Buster Sword, Angeal's father died trying to repay the debt for making that sword for Angeal when he first joined Soldier?? And here is Cloud in FFVII swinging it around like it's nothing🥲 How very cruel of Genesis to come back to his hometown and kill the townspeople. And why did Angeal have to kill his mother? Bahamut was kinda cute. I remember why I don't remember Genesis, he was annoying to me😅 How very sad that there's that NPC kid who thought his mother would spend more time with him after Genesis and Angeal died but she's still too obsessed about groupie things to give him attention... Poor kid. Even Genesis copies have wings? Ooh Cissnei is cute, I like her hair🤔 Renoo, my favourite boy. Anyway, so I guess Genesis and Angeal are failed versions of Sephiroth in which Hollander wanted to replicate? Poor Angeal and Genesis are deteriorating and dying.

Well, how very convenient to connect everything between Aerith and Cloud to be basically the same as how she spent her time with Zack lol. Like, do we need to make it so blatant that even the way they meet is exactly the same just so we can say Aerith always loved Zack and only Zack? And how many times does this church get destroyed? Although I did enjoy Zack flirting with Aerith and her being receptive to it to an extent, that was cute. One thing I find very interesting is one of the missions/quests with a little girl that's waiting for some uncle to come back, and in Japanese, it very clearly says the girl said she wanted to marry the uncle in the future, but in the subtitles, it says she wants to work for him in the future lol! Censoring the innocent dreams of a little girl? Anyway, so Zack promised to show Aerith a pretty sky one day huh? I'm not sure selling flowers would make them rich considering Aerith was selling them for like 1 gil or something in the original game haha. Anyway, what I think I don't like the most about this game is how much they want to push every single thing Aerith does to be related to Zack. Yeah, I acknowledge how important she was to him and stuff like that but it's annoying when every little thing is about him, like can they give her back her own sense of self too? Omgg squat games again?! I am sickkk of these lol. At least it's not as frustrating as the one in the Remake lol. I'm so invested in that kid's life, it's so sad that his mother is sick in bed now because of the news about Angeal/Genesis and he's like he'd rather be neglected and have her feel well than for her to be like this. Such a good kid. Yuckkkkk did that other little girl say the uncle she likes and thinks is nice has a job as a "don" in Wall Market and he's nice to girls and he's handsome??? Ewwww!!! Don Corneo? Ewww!! I mean, Don Corneo is funny as a block, but when it's realistic, he's just creepy and disgusting.

We have met Cloud!! He's such a cute little boy!! Anyway, I'm obviously not made for reconnaissance missions because I only got one treasure chest and lost the rest and just battled all the guards instead of hiding😅😅😅 Hollander is just a cheap Hojo, Crisis Core really just recycled everything about FFVII and called it a day. Honestly, Angeal dying was so random. I kinda wish they remade the story of Crisis Core instead of the Remake because it's so bland right now. It's kinda cute how Zack hung out with the Turks, they're like his friends! Man, the amount of random battles in this game is so annoying, I'm so tired of it. It makes the mundane story even more frustrating tbh. Anyway, I've really had enough of chasing Hollander, there's only so many times we can do this like seriously. Otherwise, I personally think Cissnei is a better fit for Zack than Aerith. And even Seventh Heaven is named that because of Zack? C'mon.... At least the mother and the kid are finally spending time together by working on the Angeal fan club together, that's kinda cute. And why does this game never mention Zack sending letters back to his parents and then "suddenly" stopping?🥲  Anyway, even though the wagon thing was annoying, I'd say it was hilarious when Zack's cool wagon was seen as a weapon and even security came for it🤣

That little kid has to be lying, how could it be possible for them to go on the Mt Nibel trail without encountering a single monster considering the crazy encounter rate in this game?? Aww I'm glad the code for the safe in the Shinra Mansion is much easier than the original hahaha, I was about to riot. I'm kinda sad they skipped the whole part where you go up the mountain to get to the mako reactor, I personally thought that part was nice and it would have been cool to see Sephiroth fight. I always find it so cute when you realise that Cloud was the Shinra soldier blocking Tifa from going into the reactor haha. Omgg and Genesis is now being inserted into the part where Sephiroth starts to go crazy after thinking about his true origins? Ughhh. I wish Genesis didn't ruin this moment with his annoying existence😮‍💨 But I guess the saddest thing is that we don't get to see the talk Zack had on the train with Cloud. Aw, I'm also sad that you don't get to run down the stairs to Vincent's place, that was the fun part! Aww it sucks that there's a quest to open coffins but you don't even get to see Vincent! It also sucks that even though Cloud sends Zack a mail about wanting to go home with him, you don't actually get to visit Cloud's mother with him, nor do you get to play the piano in Tifa's house! Anyway, fighting Sephiroth was easier than fighting these other random bosses.

I think it's sweet to see in Zack's memory of Aerith how much he cares about the things she says and how much he wants to go back to her at the risk of his life. Sweet but saddening. Wonder if they'll make it that Cissnei disappeared by the time of the original FFVII because she let Zack go or something, or maybe she got tired of Shinra. Anyway, doesn't matter I guess since we'll see if she'll appear in the Remake. Otherwise, it seems like we'll be forced to endure Genesis' existence again in the future if he's still alive, which is very unfortunate if he keeps citing Loveless. After some googling, it seems that Lazard was President Shinra's illegitimate son, I was wondering why the slums people kept talking about the president having an affair of some sort with a woman from the slums. Honestly though, considering how randomly he ended up just disappearing from Shinra and everything, I'm not sure what was the point of this part of the story other than him protecting Cloud near the end, but even then it wasn't a necessary part of the story. The Price of Freedom is a nice soundtrack but yeah, I can't say I felt much about the ending of Crisis Core other than being glad it was over tbh, which is very mean but I'm honestly tired. I think the only thing I'm a bit happy about is seeing and knowing how much Aerith and Zack thought about each other and cared for the other until the end. Maybe they can finally reunite in the Remake considering the changes. Seeing the beginning of the original FFVII makes me think maybe it's time to play it again but maybe I'll do that after the second part of the Remake instead lol.

Overall, young me was right and knew my tastes well. Young me back in the day didn't want to play Crisis Core because I knew I wouldn't like it so I never bothered playing it until my bro got a PSP and I tried it but gave up halfway because it was boring. Since the Remaster came out, I thought I would try again especially since I hated the original battle system and this Reunion one is so much better! Honestly, I'd give the game a 5-6/10 mainly because I found the battle system quite enjoyable even though it was limited. The other points would be given to Zack for being a happy puppy but honestly, Zack isn't very memorable to me because I don't feel like he ever established himself as a proper character for me in this story. He was nice but forgettable and he's basically what he was described as in the original so nothing much to add. Aerith has none of the spark she has in the original tbh so nothing to say. Cissnei was cute and I guess it was nice to see how much Tseng cared for both Zack and Aerith but now it feels weird to think of Tseng liking Aerith despite his rather close relationship with Zack. Anyway, whatever I guess. 

Angeal was okay but forgettable too, and I honestly wish I could forget Genesis' existence. I would have felt sorry for him if he wasn't so frustrating to listen to and see. His existence in the story just makes me want to bang my head. Sephiroth didn't have the same impact as he did in the original but it was nice to see him being friendly. I guess other than the terrible story that had cheap copies of Hojo and Sephiroth, I also didn't really like the vibe of Crisis Core because it relies on your love for the original FFVII, but it doesn't have the fun and magic of the original and never establishes itself as it's own individual game with its own charm imo. Maybe other people will say otherwise because I'm sure alot of people like Crisis Core but I personally find it boring and I regret playing it because it added nothing of substance to me other than thinking yeah I guess Aerith and Zack are kinda cute but the chemistry is still lacking imo. I'll miss the battle system but I won't miss the encounter rate and hearing activating combat mode every 5 steps.

#crisis core #final fantasy vii reunion

[dgcatanisiri]

Tried to make a brief summary of the issues of Mass Effect Andromeda’s handling of queer men and how it relates to why we’re (broad use here) upset with the Legendary Edition failing to provide better representation than the originals, and it kinda turned in to what amounts to an open letter for BioWare.

So, what the heck, here it is.

A little personal background. I spent my high school life completely in the closet. After graduating, I had a new computer and the opportunity to play a new game. The game chosen was BioWare’s Jade Empire. Still a fairly recent release, and I was a big fan of Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic, also by BioWare. So, being a young gay man, still uncomfortable and uncertain of who I was, I was very excited when I got to play this game that would allow me to play a gay romance, a romance that featured two men. I burned through two playthroughs of the game within less than a week, enjoying that rush of acknowledgement that yes, gay guys could be the hero. It was a massive affirmation for me at the time, something that said that my sexuality was not going to prevent me from being the hero, which legitimately was a message that I felt like most media was giving me to that point, because gay men barely appeared in anything other than guest roles for an episode or two on a TV show, but certainly not in video games. That game, that experience... I’ve said for years that it had cemented me as a BioWare fan for life.

If I say that now, it is a statement with a few caveats.

The history of the failure of Mass Effect 1 and Mass Effect 2 to provide any male/male romances is well documented. I was excited, very eager to romance Kaidan Alenko in Mass Effect 3. But even then, I noticed that there were things that were lacking in the romance. It was noticeable, for instance, that the basic dialogue between male Shepard and female Shepard was unchanged, if either was starting a new romance with Kaidan. The thing that always felt... WRONG about that was that if I’d had the option to begin a romance with him in the first game, I would have. Yet there’s not even a bit of dialogue that even references that inability, no comment of “I didn’t think you were available,” or anything of the sort, nothing to say that, say, Shepard was interested in Kaidan at the time, but didn’t believe he’d be receptive, didn’t want to damage their friendship, something of the sort. There was even a cut in the romance scene, where female Shepard will sit in Kaidan’s lap before being lifted up and carried to the bed, but with male Shepard and Kaidan, just fades to black. And then in the Citadel DLC, while all the other pairings walked in to the casino arm in arm, male Shepard and Kaidan are leaving plenty of room between them. There’s also the absence of any cuddling as they return to the Normandy.

To say nothing of the lack of Steve Cortez during the story segments of Citadel – he is not part of the big team entrance to the apartment, just spontaneously appears in the lounge room. He doesn’t participate in the briefings, and he is not a casino date, despite being part of the assembled team. Cortez also suffers from the fact that his romance spends so much time on how he needs to move on from the death of his husband, Shepard can come across as predatory towards him, trying to push him out of his grief and his pants. Due to the lateness of his arrival in the story, in game three, as opposed to game one or two, there is significantly less time to establish him as a person – beyond his past as a pilot and the death of his husband, we gain almost no concept of his personality or personal history.

I bring all of this up to help set the stage of what was expected when Mass Effect Andromeda was nearing release. Mass Effect had been full of problems of representation of queer men specifically (not that they were perfect on the count of female/female relationships either, because there’s plenty to talk about there, but as I’m not a lesbian or bisexual woman, I don’t feel comfortable talking about their experiences for them). While there were flaws, Dragon Age, what is often considered Mass Effect’s sister franchise, HAD managed to provide male/male romances in every iteration of that franchise.

In fact, considering that Dragon Age’s most recent installment, Dragon Age Inquisition, had been put out with a lot of fanfare about the first gay male companion, who was considered rather popular in the fandom, and the game itself receiving the Game of the Year award that year, indicating that, if there was any risk in the business sense of providing representation of queer men, it was negligible at most in the bottom line of that game, the attitude of a lot of gay men in the lead up to Andromeda’s release was some variation of “okay, Mass Effect has been flawed, but BioWare’s learned from their past mistakes, and they’re coming off the heels of a hugely successful game that had a gay character whose gayness was front and center in his storyline... We can expect that things will be fine, and we don’t have to worry.” That was the dominant attitude I found in a lot of my queer-oriented spaces.

But we started getting uncomfortable as the developers remained cagey about romance options in Andromeda – there were Twitter responses to “we’re concerned about Mass Effect’s history of gay representation, we would like to know about the options” that came out as “we checked and yep! They’re there!” These responses came across as flippant and even tone-deaf – the reason that the question was being asked was because of prior failures to be included, and not simply a desire to get all the details before launch.

As the trailers started coming out, the questions continued from the fans, and the response from the developers... continued to be uncomfortable. When asked directly for a listing of romances prior to release, the response was that the developers wanted players to learn as they played, that “the fun is in experiencing it!” This was a specific response when it was learned that the romance options could be flirted with regardless of orientation, but they would shut it down. Despite the fact that the trailers DID include content from certain romances – specifically, the male Ryder/Cora and male Ryder/Peebee romances.

This was uncomfortable for a lot of queer players like myself because it spoke to a lack of consideration of what it is like to be queer. In many places, it is a serious question of safety to even put yourself out there to find a partner, to flirt with someone openly unless you are already certain that there is a chance for a positive response. There are places where a queer person flirting with the wrong person can get them harassed, assaulted, even killed for doing so. Even in the safety of a virtual construct of video games, these are honed instincts that queer people have developed. And no matter how many times we would say this to the developers, no one seemed to understand. Likewise, the fact that the trailers felt free to show off heterosexual romances, but not queer ones felt... questionable.

Then, finally, firm details started coming out, and... There were problems. Early data-mining said that there was an even split of romances between orientations. But there was a bit of discomfort around the reveal that the gay characters, Suvi and Gil, were limited to the ship, rather than being companions who would accompany Ryder on missions. There is a history of companions being given more involved storylines and involvement than secondary characters. It also didn’t help the disappointment from queer people who’d been eager for Cora or Liam as romances, who were firmly established as straight (Cora herself had a popular lesbian following).

That discomfort increased when it came out further that, ACTUALLY, Jaal would not be available for Male Ryder. This caused a lot of upset. Now it was a case where there was NO M/M squadmate romance option. This on top of the group of fans who were uncomfortable with the idea that, in a sci-fi series, gay men couldn’t romance an alien, while this had become a staple of the series, considering Liara, the character from a species described as equivalent to Star Trek green-skinned Orion girls, had been available for straight men and lesbian/bi women from ME1, and straight women got in on the act with Garrus and Thane in ME2, on top of straight men also getting Tali.

This got worse when the achievement listing for the game was released and there was an achievement for “romancing three different characters.” Meaning that it was absolutely impossible for a gay man to play the game and get this achievement without playing a sexuality other than his own.

This is why I led with my experience with Jade Empire, why it was so affirming to me. Because to hear all this, ten years later, to see what had been so affirming to me a decade prior be functionally dismissed, be shown to take a secondary position at best... It hurt.

And the game proper did not help that feeling at all.

So first we meet Gil Brodie. Engineer of the Tempest. One of the first things we learn about him is that he has a close friendship with a woman named Jill. And then he immediately tells us that one) she is a fertility specialist, and two) she “says [he’s] part of the problem” because he won’t have kids the natural way. This is immediately setting off red flags to me – I can think of plenty of my friendships where we give one another grief for various things, but I would never think of introducing any of them to someone else with that fact. So my reflexive thought in this situation is “what kind of a friend is this really?”

And then, as the game goes on... This is the only thing that Gil’s conversations involve, the prospect of having kids. We do not learn much more about him, just have him talking about considering the idea. The lock-in for his romance requires Ryder to meet Jill, who Gil again says that she will talk his ear off about his “civic duty” to reproduce, a fact that makes those earlier red flags wave higher and more furiously, because who DOES that to a total stranger? And this is passed off as being “charming.” This leads to the culmination of the romance, where Gil says that Jill has decided she wants to get pregnant and she wants Gil to be the dad.

There’s... A LOT going on here, so let me work through this. First, one of the few things Gil says as a bit of establishing his character is that he is impulsive, that he joined the Andromeda Initiative, the journey from the Milky Way galaxy to the Andromeda galaxy without really thinking through what it would mean, that it was a one-way journey with no way to back out once he’d gotten there. So this is already saying to me that this is not a person who really SHOULD be a parent, at least at this point in his life.

We also get a couple of emails from him in-game that paint him as putting in thirty-six hour workdays into the engines on the Tempest, that he cares about and puts a lot of time into those engines. So when I think about him as a father, I see him having to give up something he’s deeply passionate about to do it, because the Tempest is certainly no place to raise a child – they can’t exactly put a playpen in the cargo hold, for example.

This would be one of the first things that I would think of as a discussion element, but... it’s not there. All that we get is a couple of casual comments about how Gil should know that bringing a child into the world is a big thing, something that shouldn’t be done lightly. But this is framed as Ryder questioning Gil’s fitness to be a parent at all, rather than questioning if he’s thinking this through and having considered this enough to be ready to take on this responsibility, or if it’s even something that he even wants.

Because that’s the other big thing here – this is not Gil’s idea. This is not something that he makes clear is his desire. No, it’s Jill who has decided that she wants to get pregnant and use Gil’s sperm. For all that he matters in this whole thing, he might as well be a turkey baster. He’s basically an accessory in his own story, because he goes in to this with all the passion of a math equation: “The Andromeda Initiative is a colonization effort. Therefore, the idea is to have babies. Therefore, I should find some way to reproduce.” This isn’t him having a passion or desire to have kids, just it being “something you do.”

This is, genuinely, a failure to understand the character who was being written. Gil’s writing reeks of having been written by someone who does not know what they are talking about. There is an element to the gay experience that is not innate but learned. When we realize that having children is not a thing that will just happen, that if we want this to happen, it will require a lot of additional steps, there are many who will simply say “this isn’t for me, this is more work than I’m willing to put in to for this.”

Now, Gil could have been someone who had decided it was worth it, but that butts up against the idea of him being impulsive, that he doesn’t think things through. There is no time given to focusing on the reason he decides this is the right choice for him, to the point that many players felt that this was not Gil’s decision but something that Jill was pushing, that she expected him to jump on her command. Because we have so little of Gil, as a character and an individual, but plenty of him talking up her, this “friendship” feels toxic to many.

Just about everyone I have ever spoken with about Gil is deeply uncomfortable that literally, the only way that he will not have a child at this point is if a romanced Ryder stops him – if I am playing a game where I don’t romance him, I actively just stop interacting with him at a certain point so that this never comes up, because this does not come across as happy. It comes across as forcing a gay man into a heteronormative experience to satisfy some traditional idea of “man and woman, raising kids.”

And, as the cherry on top, if you do tell Gil that you’re not comfortable having kids – a very real thing, whether gay or straight – then, unlike other romances, Gil and Ryder do not share a kiss at the finale of the game. And, during the last conversations on Meridian, the only thing Gil even brings up is Jill being pregnant, whether or not it’s his child.

This is what “representation of gay men” amounted to in Mass Effect Andromeda. A homophobic story that was about a gay experience written by someone who is not a part of this community and does not know or understand the experience personally, going through the motions of development when really, all that is cared about is the end result. To say that most of the gay men I know who have played this game find this homophobic is to undersell the point.

It doesn’t help that, of all the Tempest romances, Gil also clocks in with the least amount of romance exclusive material – a few flirts, the romance lock in and scene, and being able to stop Gil from having kids. Other than that, his friendship and his romance are virtually identical.

Speaking of, the romance scene consists of a make out session that fades to black, before coming back in with Ryder and Gil, shot from about shoulders up, briefly wrapping up their conversation that preceded the fade to black. This is noteworthy when the heterosexual romances between Ryder and their human love interests, as well as Peebee and Jaal, the former having a similar body model to naked human women, just blue, and Jaal, who is naked at other points in the game, have much more involved romance scenes – Cora’s in specific received special attention.

All of this, individually, may have just been reflective of time crunch and other external pressures – we all understand the realities of game development, that for all the ambitions that go in, when the deadlines are nearing, something has to give. But taken collectively... The kindest question is to ask why all of the “give” happened in regards to the gay man?

The end result with Gil honestly feels like he was written in response to the bad faith arguments that had come up in the period after the name for the game was revealed and it was made clear that the game would follow a colonization effort. There were a contingent of people who said that “there shouldn’t be gay people coming along, a colonization effort needs to reproduce.” This is a bad faith argument from homophobes, trying to justify why they don’t want gay people in “their” games. In answering their question, the question they only “ask” in order to explain why they don’t want to have gay people in the game without saying that, it comes across as catering the gay content for a heterosexual audience. It should go without saying that this is a bad position to take.

So, that’s Gil. What about Reyes? Well, Reyes himself is bound to a single planet, which, again, points to a minimizing of how much content he will even get, since his content can only be accessed on this single planet. Likewise, Reyes, as a character, is someone who falls in to several old, tired tropes with regards to bisexual men – he is a shady, untrustworthy character, in this instance literally a criminal, meant to be evocative of the “dashing rogue” archetype. This is a characterization that has often been BioWare’s go-to with regards to bisexual men, because we see this archetype drawn on in Jade Empire’s Sky, Dragon Age Origins’ Zevran, Dragon Age 2’s Anders, and even elements exist in Dragon Age Inquisition’s Dorian (even if he is a gay man). It’s a well that BioWare has frequently tapped when it comes to a romance option for queer men, to the point that it starts to feel like BioWare in general believes that this IS what queer men are.

There’s also the questionable portrayal of Reyes that leads to a description of the trope “the depraved bisexual,” an explicitly bisexual character who uses sex and sexuality as a manipulative tool, that they treat others as simply there to be their toys. Over in Dragon Age Inquisition, one of the romance options was specifically NOT made bisexual in order to avoid this trope, but Reyes himself seems to be a candidate for that trope all the same.

All this, and, again, the romance options for gay men were unequal to those for everyone else. This prompted the campaign #MakeJaalBi – Jaal was, notably, the character initially assumed to be the bisexual male companion, and on release, his romance was heterosexual exclusive. But datamining revealed that there was code for him to be romanced by male Ryder. Indeed, on release, it was noteworthy that Jaal could not even be flirted with by male Ryder. Liam had a distinct turndown for male Ryder, a couple of them, depending on when Ryder flirts with him. Jaal had no such turndown.

And this worked. BioWare released the patch for Andromeda that gave Jaal a bisexual romance. However, this was the only change that Mass Effect Andromeda received in regards to the issues of the romances before support for the game ended. While it was seen as an improvement, it was also questioned why this was the only change, when... Well, I spent the better part of two pages outlining the problems of Gil’s portrayal.

(I feel I would be remiss to not mention there was also a character, Hainley Abrams, who would, upon interacting with her, proceed to deadname herself to Ryder, as if that is the only way to establish that a transgender person is trans. This was also changed in a patch after the trans community complained, and, in conjunction with the above, led more than a few people to wonder if the Andromeda script had been looked over by any queer sensitivity readers, given the earlier issues with Gil. This does go out of the scope of everything else in this discussion, but it is worth mentioning.)

When Mac Walters says players will talk about how Shepard is each of theirs, that every individual player approaches Shepard as being “their” Shepard, he isn’t wrong. He says the characters, and the relationships we have with the characters is the heart and soul of the series, he isn’t wrong. And yet... When I play the trilogy, my heart and soul are being torn apart, because I do not get to see myself in the trilogy. I am not there in this story, at least for two thirds of the way. And in that third that I am there, I feel like I am cared about less than my counterparts who are heterosexual.

The idea that “making” characters available for same sex romance changes them is like saying that there is some inherent difference in a person because of their sexualities. While it’s true that the experiences of queer people does offer different perspectives on matters, it does not fundamentally alter the person, the individual that we are. It does not change our heart and soul. Restoring the bisexuality of characters like Jack, Jacob, Ashley, Thane, or Tali is not changing who they are. Making Kaidan bisexual in ME3 did not change who he was, and restoring a romance between him and male Shepard in ME1 would not change him either.

Every game has some cut content surrounding queer content specifically, and a great deal of that content is specifically for gay players like myself. I said at the beginning that I once thought of myself as a BioWare fan for life, but that now comes with caveats. The caveats are pretty simple – while the games produced by BioWare once felt affirming, now they feel like they’re only grudgingly allowing me to be there. That if I must be there, I should just take the scraps I’m given and be content with that, rather than being treated as an equal.

I like to think that this is not the message that the people at BioWare wish to impart to their players. I like to believe BioWare’s statements of wanting to be an inclusive and welcoming environment for their players, regardless of gender, race, sexuality, orientation, whatever identity and label one chooses. But based on the experience of the last four games, of the Legendary Edition perpetuating the homophobia of over a decade ago... I have a hard time believing that.

BioWare games once made me feel like I was equal to the straight heroes across my media. Unfortunately, I don’t feel that way about their games anymore. Not when, after having the opportunity to restore the bisexuality of Kaidan – of multiple characters, really – in the Legendary Edition, I am still being told that offering representation for people like me is something that only comes grudgingly.

And if that’s what I see now... What does it say about what the future of the franchise will offer? If every game in this series involves fighting for content that, in particular, heterosexual players will see offered as the rule, what motivates me to want to continue to be invested and involved in this franchise?

#bioware critical #dg rants #another angry queer rant #make mass effect inclusive #make mele inclusive #makemeleinclusive

[enigmaphenomenon]

Cloud and Tifa - The Buildup pt. 1

Part 1 of the remake released finally and it covers Midgar. Let’s take a look at the scenes between Cloud and Tifa, and the scenes to come later in future installments. Let’s get started. Been a while since I last wrote an essay, it’s time. 

The first time she’s mentioned:

Those of us who know the story, we know who Tifa is and what her connection with Cloud is. But, without knowing the story this question sets up other questions. “Who is Tifa?” “What is her relationship with Cloud?” “There must be something if Jessie, who is flirting hard with Cloud, is asking so she can understand if she’s flirting with a taken man or not.”  Tifa is mentioned as early as chapter 1, both her importance to Cloud and the core mystery of Cloud’s identity are foreshadowed and setup.  Jessie’s question makes Cloud search his memories, are he and Tifa close? This is where we get more information.  We see through Cloud’s eyes as we get our first look at Nibelheim, and our first look at Tifa, as Anxious Heart plays in the background. 

Cloud looks up at the water tower and lingers on it as he’s walking. We know the iconic water tower and what it means, but this shot is setting up the importance of this water tower. Even more foreshadowing about Tifa and Cloud’s bond. 

As cool as this flashback is, it didn’t really answer the question. We see Tifa attempting to reach out to Cloud, but he seemingly ignores her. We never see what happens next as the flashback ends.

We don’t get our answer in the flashback, nor do we get our answer from Cloud. We know Cloud and Tifa knew each other as kids as well as in adulthood. We know that Jessie is curious about their relationship but other than that we didn’t get an answer. Only a question was posed. A question that will continue to be answered in small pieces before it is fully revealed.  At this moment, Tifa, her relationship to Cloud, and their promise at the water tower are all foreshadowed.  The second time she’s mentioned:

First we have Jessie asking Cloud if he’s close with Tifa, and now we have Barret giving us another piece of the puzzle. We know that Cloud and Tifa share history, but Barret is the leader of an anti-Shinra group and doesn’t trust Cloud at all. However, with this line by Barret we learn that he trusts Tifa and gave Cloud a chance based on Tifa’s words.  Tifa is the one who got Cloud the job, and spoke so highly of him that Barret begrudgingly hires a “Shinra dog.” it demonstrates that Tifa’s trust in Cloud is the deciding factor in Cloud’s role for Avalanche. The three members warm up to him quickly, leaving only Barret who continues to distrust him yet reluctantly works with. This would show that all the members, for the most part, trust Tifa’s opinion. It is Tifa’s trust in Cloud that influences the Avalanche members.  Another piece to the puzzle:

We already saw the water tower in an earlier flashback when Jessie asks him about Tifa. It served a purpose besides setting up the promise scene. As Cloud makes his way back to Sector 7 he has another flashback. The water tower appears once again as Cloud stands in the midst of flames. 

As the scene plays out, we see the water tower completely engulfed in flames before revealing the iconic shot of Sephiroth. 

We’ll dive into what this scene symbolizes and foreshadows in more depth in later parts of this essay. For now, it is another reference to his bond with Tifa that we don’t know the significance to just yet.  All it tells us is Cloud and Tifa’s hometown went up in flames, and that the water tower holds more significance than being a mere landmark.  The reunion flower: 

And here is our first real answer on what Tifa is to Cloud. When Cloud meets Aerith, a flower peddler peddling her wares, and she offers him a flower. Now, in OG the flower cost 1 gil and you had the choice to buy it or decline it. Your choice did actually impact the game in a small way as if you declined the flower you would walk away with no flower.  In the remake, however, even if you decline the flower it will still end up in Cloud’s possession. The flower no longer costs 1 gil it is completely free. The game does not let you walk away with no flower.  We are given some added information about the yellow lily. In FF7′s universe this flower means “reunion” and Aerith adds on a romantic connotation stating lovers would give them when they were reunited. There is a second romantic connotation here, as if you decline the flower, Aerith will state it will make Cloud’s “girlfriend” happy. Upon hearing this, he asks her “how much?”  Now who could this girl who Cloud holds romantic feelings for? Who was he thinking about when Aerith mentioned a girlfriend? With the flower in his suspender he reunites with Barret and the others where we get our third Tifa mention. 

Cloud is initially confused when Barret says he’ll see Cloud soon at 7th Heaven, taking the time to mention Tifa once again and stating it is where she works. Barret also urges Cloud not to keep Tifa waiting.  It is chapter 3, and Tifa has been foreshadowed since chapter 1, and now we’ll finally get to see her.  In OG, if Cloud bought the flower an additional choice was unlocked. Once he makes it to 7th Heaven, Tifa notices the flower and the player is given the option to give it to Tifa or to Marlene. In the remake this is removed. The story removes the option to walk away without a flower, and removes the option of who to give it to.  Again, who has been foreshadowed as having a bond with Cloud where a super flirty girl is interested in what exactly is going on between the two, who had such faith in Cloud it got him hired by someone extremely paranoid and hateful of Shinra, the girl he thought of when “a gift for [his] girlfriend” came up, the girl who receives the flower that lovers would give when reunited? 

5 years:

Through this interaction, we get out next clue. What’s been 5 years? Obviously, fans of the original already know, but let’s pretend like we don’t.  It’s been 5 years. We have a timeline now, and Chapter 3 keeps on providing us with more information.  After delivering the water filter to Marle, who is their landlady, Tifa tells Cloud that Marle helped her back in the day. Tifa reveals she’s been in Midgar for about 5 years. 

The puzzle pieces are forming together yet they are not completing the picture yet. After doing a few jobs for connections, Tifa brings up their home village. 

This makes it seem that 5 years ago, Cloud left the village as did Tifa. We heard Sephiroth say “Your hometown that burns so bright” but we don’t have a timeline on that in this part of the story.  We can assume Tifa left her village 5 years ago shortly after Cloud left. We know that Cloud returned to his home to witness it burning, and we know Tifa was confused when Cloud said it’s been 5 years, and we know Tifa has been living in Midgar for about 5 years. The picture is coming together but it’s still not clear. Cloud is reluctant to talk about it, but in a later scene we get more information.  Alone At Last:  And now we get Cloud’s answer. He finally talks about what happened when he left their village. 

We get some backstory on how they were on the news everyday when Cloud and Tifa were kids, and that back then everyone wanted to be a Soldier. This was when the war with Wutai was going on, and Sephiroth was hailed as a great war hero, it was also around this time that Elmyra lost her husband and met Ifalna and Aerith.  When Cloud first heard of Sephiroth, he would’ve been 9 years old or so. He talks about when he left the village the war was over and they didn’t needs heroes, and his job was just working for Shinra, nothing glorious like he had dreamt of. 

The conversation goes quiet as Cloud reflects on his time with Shinra, prompting Tifa to change the subject. Before she does however, we get an awkward silence hanging in the air as the camera shows the rug they are standing at. @silver-wield​ pointed out this is a flower design, and could be the reunion flower. 

This is apt as it’s shown right before Tifa brings up their reunion in Midgar. 

Here’s what we know so far, Cloud left the village to join Soldier, it has been 5 years since he last saw Tifa, and he learned recently Tifa has been living in Midgar for about 5 years.  She remarks on the odds of them going their separate ways what seems like 5 years ago and randomly bumping into each other in a city as massive as Midgar.  The Promise:  Finally, finally, FINALLY we get to the promise scene and I can talk about the significance of the water tower as more than just a landmark!  When we first see the water tower in Chapter 1 is when we first see Tifa, we see the water tower again in Chapter 2 being engulfed in flames, and now in Chapter 4 we get another flashback that shows the significance of the water tower and how it’s linked to Tifa in Cloud’s memories. 

It was at this water tower that Cloud told Tifa about wanting to join Soldier, that he will be the best of the best, just like Sephiroth.  This is also where Cloud and Tifa make their promise, and the soundtrack that plays here is called “A Tower, A Promise.” 

This memory was sparked when he was with Avalanche and was triggered by a rather random thing. A fan. Tifa was not mentioned, nor part of this mission, and yet a spinning fan is what brought memories of Tifa to the forefront. Seriously. A random fan triggered a memory of Tifa. 

The first time he had a flashback of Tifa it was prompted by Jessie asking what their relationship was. Tifa was directly mentioned. However, as the game goes on the memories Cloud has of Tifa are randomly triggered as his true self tries to resurface.  After Cloud remembers the promise he made to her, he remembers what she said back at the bar and the emotional turmoil she’s in. 

Cloud’s face says it all right here. He feels like he came close to failing her. This is the moment more of his true self is brought forward by his memories of Tifa. It was after this scene we see him truly get closer to Wedge, Jessie and Biggs and finally includes himself with them, even smiling and laughing with the group.  Now prior to this scene, we met Marle in Chapter 3 who had a lot to say to Cloud regarding Tifa. 

Marle’s words actively foreshadow a scene that takes place after Cloud remembers the promise. At the moment Marle grills Cloud, he hasn’t remembered the promise and when Marle asks him if he’s actually thinking about Tifa and her feelings, his face says it all. Cloud goes to answer, but is at a loss for words...He looks mad and when he goes to presumably tell Marle off, he stops and his face changes to one of guilt and puzzlement. 

Is he being a real friend to her? Is he really listening to her and thinking about her feelings? Or is he just going through the motions and pretending? Playing out a false persona...perhaps? Not acting like his real self maybe...? After the mission with Jessie is done and Cloud retires to his room, we get to see what Marle’s words foreshadowed and the change in Cloud’s demeanor after he remembered the promise. 

“She needs a friend--a real friend.” 

“So when she talks, are you really listening?” 

In Chapter 1, Cloud insists him assisting Avalanche is a one-time gig, and once he gets his money he’s out of there. He refuses to acknowledge he’s part of the group as he tells Barret he’s not one of them and he’s simply a sword-for-hire.

When Chapter 4 rolls around Barret kicks Cloud out of 7th Heaven, throwing his words back in his face about it being a one-time thing, and Cloud himself stating that those shady guys looking for Barret isn’t his business and has nothing to do with him. Cloud had only one reason to stay in Midgar: Tifa. Prior to him remembering their promise, he had no reason, but Marle’s words and his memory of the water tower form his reason for staying. After all, he said he’d be there for Tifa and he decides to stay of his own volition--honoring the promise of his own free will and remembering it on his own. 

We also see another flashback in Chapter 6 showing a distraught Tifa crying over her father’s body before taking Masamune and walking into the reactor. 

This memory will be triggered again by Tifa repeating what she said all those years ago, with Cloud thinking that he had failed his promise to her. 

This alludes to the promise he made to Tifa, and how he believes he failed her in Nibelheim. There is also another allusion to Nibelheim in Chapter 1. Reactor 5 has the same layout as Reactor 1, and while at Reactor 1 in the first chapter Cloud not only has a memory of Tifa and the water tower, but he also hallucinates a black feather as he sets the bomb. 

We finally see the significance of the water tower shown/foreshadowed in Chapter 1, but the full significance will not be revealed until the later parts of the Remake. The water tower - continued in part 2

Part 2 coming soon

#long post #cloti #cloud strife #tifa lockhart

[gifted-burnout-archive]

Jim’s Best Friend

Part Fourteen - There’s a Hole in the Wall

Word Count: 2714

Author’s Note: So I wrote all this, and then remembered that during this episode Dwight was working at Staples... So, variation on the story! Dwight never quit. Ok, with that settled, enjoy! (And did I make all you readers a lil gay? Yeah, I fucking did. Enjoy it. In this reality, you like girls and Jim Halpert and good for you!)

WARNING: angry Andy, discussion of sexual orientation (?), kinda cheating...

April, 2007.

The last few weeks had been crazy, and you hadn't really had a second to catch your breath. Between moving into a new flat and adjusting to your new workload, you hadn't had much of a chance to do anything with Pam or Jim. In fact, Jim was sort of, not talking to you...

You came in to work one sunny April morning to find Pam putting up a banner behind her desk, and you helped her off the counter once she was done. She smiled, and both of you examined the sign:

Welcome Back Oscar

"That's today?" You asked, and Pam nodded, giving you a quick hug hello.

"Yeah, did Toby not send you the email?" Pam asked, and you shook your head. "Oh! Maybe he hasn't added you back to the list..."

"I'll chat with him today about it." You assured her, and you both stood quiet for a moment. "Do you want to come over tonight? I just... We haven't hung out in ages."

"Oh my God yes, please. I didn't want to ask until you were properly settled in." Pam breathed out, and you grinned, walking over to your desk in a much better mood. Jim and Karen arrived in the office, by Dwight's stopwatch, 6 minutes and 13 seconds late. You smiled at Jim as he sat down, and while he smiled back, no words were exchanged.

Your phone rang, and after checking the area code number, you cleared your throat and answered.

"Esta es la oficina corresponsal extranjero de Dunder Mifflin, Y/N hablando. ¿Cómo puedo ayudarlo esta noche?" You said quickly into the phone, to be met by a loud exhale from Dwight across the table. You looked up from the phone, raising an eyebrow at him, almost daring him to try it again. "Si lo veo..." You glanced at the clock, listening to the Spaniard on the phone ramble about an issue with an online order, all while Dwight started to, very loudly, sharpen his collection of pencils. "Un momento, por favor." You said quickly, holding the phone to your chest and looking at Dwight.

"What?"

"Keep it up, Schrute, and I'll hurt you." You warned, only to receive a laugh in response. You looked around the office quickly, a surveillance check. "You don't speak Spanish, do you Dwight?" You asked, and Dwight shook his head. "Exactly, that’s the whole point... Stop what you're doing, meet me in the breakroom in ten minutes... Make sure we aren't watched." You whispered loud enough to peek Jim's interest, before returning to your call.

"Perfecto, lo trasladré de immediato. Gracias por su patiencia." You finished the call, transferring the client to the Rochester branch after five minutes of trying to talk him through the terrible set up of Dunder Mifflin's online presence, and you looked up from your phone to see Dwight had disappeared.

"He's scouting the breakroom..." Jim said quietly, and you glanced over at him, a goofy smile on his face as he typed away at his computer.

"So, you're talking to me now?" You responded, keeping a low voice, pulling up your email to get in touch with Rochester, and IT. The shitty website would, sooner or later, lose the company big clients.

"Was I not talking to you?" Jim feigned innocence, but you rolled your eyes and turned your attention back to the monitor, prompting him to sigh. "Okay, I kind of was, but I'm sorry and I would really like to help with the whole Dwight thing..." He pleaded, clearly bored out of his mind. Jim's pranking habits had certainly dimished a little, and by the desperation in his eyes, he was in withdrawal.

"Deep cover... I'm actually Agent Robin DeMarco with the CIA, here to monitor Dunder Mifflin for a spy implanted by the Russians... After he was compromised at Christmas, Pam told me all about that one, good job by the way, I was sent in to replace the returning Y/N Y/L/N, who is currently in Barcelona on holiday. Keep him safe, prep him for a new mission." You explained, and Jim clapped his hands together, biting his lip.

"Wow... Pam, you want in on this?" He asked, and Pam nodded from her desk, still on the phone. You sent off the email and looked at the time, about to leave for the pranking when Karen sat on your desk.

"How can I help?" She asked, and you stopped for a moment. You hadn't thought of her being involved at all, and a part of you didn't like her intruding on the joy you shared with Jim and Pam. You shook it off quickly.

"Oh! Yes! Ok... Wait, I got it." You grinned. "Would you like to be the Russian spy?" You asked her, and Karen's smile turned micheivous. She coughed a little, and took a deep breath.

"Why, I would love it." Karen said in her best Russian accent. "Oh, wait, let me learn something in Russian." She ran back to her desk, and you stood up from your desk, heading through the kitchen and to the break room to find a pacing Dwight.

"Sit." You said in a deeper voice than usual, closing the door behind you as Dwight sat down. "What I say must be kept confidential, Agent Schrute. Do you understand?" You walked to the vending machine, slotting some coins in and getting yourself a chocolate bar.

"But... How could you... Are you-"

"Agent Robin DeMarco, CIA. I've been in deep cover since "Y/N's" return." You said with a sigh, trying your hardest to not crack up. You turned to look at Dwight. "Didn't you find it odd that your old coworker came back from Europe skinnier?" You asked, sitting across from him.

"They do have a very carb-heavy diet over there."

"I have been surveilling this company for months now, Dwight. We got tipped off that there was a spy based here, in Scranton." You looked around quickly. "We had to make sure you weren't going against your country."

"I would never!" Dwight said, outraged, and you shushed him quickly. He hunched over. "I thought I was compromised..."

"You are, one of your coworkers is a spy Dwight. We believe they intercepted our messages before Christmas." You couldn't quite grasp how easy it was to fool Dwight, but it was entertaining nonetheless. The door suddenly opened, and you sat up straight, turning to look at Karen. She walked in, a swagger in her step as she smirked at the pair of you, getting herself a packet of chips.

"Я надеюсь, что вы рады возвращению Оскара. Дуайт идиот." Karen muttered under her breath as she left, and you shared a shocked look with Dwight, which was only half fake. You couldn't quite believe that Karen had managed to learn something in Russian in the last ten minutes.

"Was the spy in anyway Russian, Agent DeMarco?" He asked, and you nodded slowly.

"We have to keep this hush hush for now Dwight... This is dangerous stuff... Threat Level Midnight." You couldn't help but add it in.

"That's a real threat level?" Dwight asked, and you took a bite of the candy bar you had bought.

"Indeed... We had considered Michael for a time as the spy because of his knowledge." You whispered, standing quickly and walking to the door. You turned back in as movielike a fashion as possible. "You are now an active agent, Schrute. Keep quiet, watch closely... And don't fuck this up. We don't know who to trust anymore." You warned him, and he stood up, saluting as you walked back through to the main office, highfiving Karen on the way back to your desk.

--

By lunchtime, you had managed to convince half the office to get in on it and really boost Dwight's paranoia. With Karen playing the villain, constantly coming over to Jim and flirting with him for the sole purpose of giving you and Dwight cruel looks, everybody involved took on roles. You established Pam as a confidante via an email to Dwight, Jim was a suspected conspirator, Phyllis, Kevin and Meredith agreed to talk in hushed voices in the corner while looking at Dwight, and when Oscar arrived back, Pam filled him in on the ongoing prank, to which he happily agreed to speak constantly in Spanish to you while Karen glared over.

The mass conspiracy was brilliant, and as the end of the day rolled around, Oscar had told you all about his extended leave: mentioning amongst tales of London and Berlin that he went with his partner Gil.

"Wait... I didn't know you were gay." You said, in Spanish, after Oscar recounted a rather romantic trip to the Effiel Tower. He looked surprised, and then a little worried. You hadn't been around for the fiasco that was September. You quickly realised the worry, and sat up straight. "No, no, I didn't mean it like that-"

"No, I get it. It's hard to wrap your head around..." Oscar said with a sigh, disheartened by the reaction. You quickly decided to save yourself from losing a friend on their first day back.

"No, Oscar, honest. I'm not straight." You quickly cleared up, causing Oscar to look up in surprise. "Guys and girls... That's me. Girlfriend in Spain for, like, five months." You added, glad the office surrounding you was so bad with languages. Oscar laughed, giving you a tight hug, which you reciprocated.

"Hey! Why does Y/N get to hug you?" Michael called from his office, and Oscar pulled away.

"Does he know?" Oscar asked, the pair of you continuing in Spanish, and you shook your head.

"Jim and Pam do, but otherwise, I am straight to the office." Oscar nodded, and the pair of you glanced at the clock. "Almost party time..." You muttered, switching back to English, and Oscar stood up.

"I'll talk to you later, DeMar-Y/L/N." Oscar corrected himself, looking over at Dwight. Your desk mate had been entranced by your entire conversation, though he wasn't the only one.

Across the room, Andy had been desk sharing with Oscar for the day, and trying to translate every word you had spoken that day in the foreign language, and was more than freaked out by the mumbles that had been going around the room, intended to cause paranoia in Dwight. Not only that, his day had been pretty terrible since Michael shot him down on weekend plans, and Andy was convinced the whole world was against him.

He came over to your desk as the clock hit 5, the office shutting down for the party Angela had set up with the help of Pam and Phyllis, pinatas and all.

"You know, a workplace with secrets is no fun, Y/N..." Andy sat against your desk as you closed down your computer. "So, what have you been talking about all day?" He asked, and you shrugged, catching Jim sending you a wink behind Andy's back.

"I haven't a clue what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on. You and Dwight have been sneaking off to empty rooms, the oldies have been congregating on the hour, Pam keeps sending you and Dwight faxes, Jim and Karen keep staring around the office. What are you hiding from me?" Andy asked again, and you shook your head, holding back a laugh. Jim decided to torment you, making faces behind Andy's back, and you couldn't help it.

You laughed in Andy's face.

Now, you had heard reports of how Andy could get a little heated sometimes. You had seen a least one very angry phone call, yourself. However, you really didn't expect him to start shouting in your face.

"REALLY?!" Andy yelled back, and the whole office stopped what they were doing. "Why don't you just tell me what's going on, huh? Are you all plotting against me? Is that it?!" He was loud, and you could feel yourself panicking, and you couldn't help it as you began to hyperventilate. Jim's face went from shock at Andy's actions to concern for yours.

"Andy, it was a prank on-" Jim began.

"On me?! You thought you could prank me, Halpert, huh?" Andy yelled louder, and Michael came out of his office.

"What is this? Y/N, are you ok?" Michael asked, noticing how pale you were.

"No! I'm the victim here! You are all talking about me in foreign languages, thinking I'm stupid?! I'm the best sales person here! And all this? It's not funny! It's pretty freaking unfunny!" Andy screamed to the room, his anger finally collecting in his fist, and a loud thud caused you to jump, gripping onto Michael's arm.

Andy had punched a hole in the wall. A full-on hole.

The silence that followed was deafening, and no-one moved. Andy removed his hand from the damage site, and chuckled nervously as he turned to the room.

"That... Was a bit of an overreaction... Sorry about that." He smiled as he spoke, but no-one responded. "I'm gonna head to the break room... Anyone want anything? Pam, you good? Kevin? No?"

"Dwight, pack up Andy's stuff... You, in my office. We need to make some calls. Someone get me Toby... Everyone else, enjoy the party." Michael said, giving your shoulder a squeeze and gesturing for Andy to head into his office. He did, with his head hanging down and his shoulders slouched, much to Dwight's delight. He never liked Andy.

"Y/N, are you alright?" Jim was the first to speak up, and you nodded silently, smiling to reassure him.

"Let's... Let's just celebrate Oscar's homecoming." You said with enthusiasm, trying to lighten the mood. "Meredith!" You called over the office, the redhead looking up as you got her attention. "Do you have any tequila, by chance?" You asked, and she held up a bottle. "Great, the work day is over, let's make margaritas and stereotype an entire culture. You good with that, Oscar?" You asked, and Oscar let out a laugh, nodding.

"I could use a drink." He admitted, and the office slowly migrated into the conference room, eating and idly chattering away the sudden events that had transpired. You really didn't know how to feel about it all, when Dwight came over, sombero on his head and a glass of milk in hand.

"So, who was Andy working for? I always suspected he was an agent..." Dwight whispered in your ear as you took another shot, causing a smile to spread over your face. Dwight still believed it.

"Keep your ear to the ground, Schrute... I have to meet with an associate." You lied quickly, grabbing Jim's arm and pulling him out of the conference room and into the hall outside the office, falling into giggles as the front door closed.

"Is... Is everything ok?" Jim asked, worried you were processing trauma in an unhealthy way.

"Dwight is... He still thinks...." You couldn't help but start laughing again, this time Jim joined in. And stood alone in that hallway, laughing together about Dwight's incompetence, all the fear of Andy's outrage faded to nothing, and you felt safe. Secure. And that smile on Jim's face, the crinkles by his eyes and the way he held onto the wall for support because he couldn't quite control his balance.

You would never be sure if it was the tequila talking, or something else that you had buried deep down in the name of friendship, but you decided in that moment to kiss Jim. Your lips on his, soft and sweet, and while Jim was frozen still at first, he kissed back, his hands going to your waist and yours resting on his shoulders, needing to stand on tip toe to reach him. It only lasted a few seconds, and he pulled away, leaving you lightheaded and heart fluttering.

"I shouldn't..." You began, but Jim shook his head.

"I have to go." He said quickly, walking back into the office, back to his girlfriend, and leaving you alone to wonder what the fuck you had just done.

--

Tags: @imsuperawkward​ @rosie2801​ @onceuponahuntersrealm​ @poppirocks​

#au #jim halpert #michael scott #pam beesly #dwight schrute #the office #jim halpert x reader #jim x reader #office au #reader #reader insert #reader is female #reader is bi? #romance #friendship #pam and jim #jim and pam #slow burn #from season 1 #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #john krasinski #steve carell #jenna fischer #rainn wilson #jackryanplz #part fourteen #queue

[professorspork]

today in the Andromeda Galaxy, *screaming*

so like listen. I had this whole PLAN for this post, about how the Brandeis motto is taken from Psalms 51, “truth, even unto its innermost parts,” and how my Ryder reflects that. I had a lot of last little errands I wanted to run before starting the endgame of the next big phase of main plot, and over and over again-- telling Maariko the angara astronomer that it was exiles who destroyed his stuff and hurt people, even though it turned him against humans as a whole; siding with Sid over Addison that we should go public with the fact that the Nexus was backing the Three Sabers even though it makes us look sus as hell; convincing the angara historian on Voeld that he shouldn’t whitewash the fact that the angara cooperated with the kett during early first contact-- I stubbornly insisted that what’s TRUE matters a heck of a lot more than what’s “convenient” or “inspiring.” I told the same to Keri, later on. 

but then like. WOW DID A BUNCH HAPPEN, the latest of which REALLY DOESN’T FIT WITH THAT WHOLE THEME.

so we went to Khi Tasira, and I brought Jaal and Peebee with me because of course I did. (in my defense, Big Kett Offense + Giant Remnant Place = perfectly good reasons to have them as my party, but lbr I probably would have taken them anyway). AND WHO BOY WHAT REVELATIONS. the Scourge is the leftovers of a superweapon explosion that went off here in a galaxy-wide terraforming accident! makes sense! we still need another widget because of course we do! and the big one: THE ANGARA WERE DESIGNED AND MADE. (sidebar: after that reveal, they had the sweetest little conversation of Peebee assuring him if he wanted to talk she’s there for him, and he was like “why because now I’m a remnant curiosity? ... SIKE lol ur FACE” and I just. don’t understand. why I’m not allowed to date both of them.)

once again, I cannot emphasize enough how much better and more thematically resonant this game would be if Ryder were quarian and instead of the human ark we were from the quarian ark. like, the parallels! the depth and nuance! the hard questions! it’s a bummer in general that they decided no quarians in Andromeda, but this really just does seem like an obvious and illuminating solution to so many pitfalls and half-problems. it makes me so frustrated.

checking on everyone after, I was really touched by Liam’s take, which is ‘fuck the people who made the scourge, minefields make life unlivable for civilians.” he’s such a good egg. Gil’s gonna co-parent with Jill, which is incredibly sweet. and Jaal was dreamy as all get-out, what with his “There's a peace in knowing that though the universe is beyond your understanding, it doesn't need your understanding to function” and his “I’m not broken, I’m excited” and his “this changes nothing except ourselves.” IF NOTHING WE DO MATTERS THEN ALL THAT MATTERS IS WHAT WE DO. he told me i made him feel safe, which is just. that’s some top-tier shit right there, and thank goodness, because later on bioware would TRULY TRY MY PATIENCE (lol spoilers). also he sent me an email with the subject line “from your romantic friend Jaal” which is just. my heart. i can’t.

so that was all great! i was having a good time!

and then I went to the Nexus and gave my next interview with Keri, and she was like “hey come cheat on your boyf at the bar with me.” and I was like well I’m sure not doing that but I do have to complete the mission so I guess I’ll have another agonizing conversation like I did with Vetra where I let her down easy. ONLY THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED, BECAUSE THE GAME DID NOT GIVE ME A WAY TO TURN HER DOWN. LITERALLY ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS WERE CONSENT TO CHEATING SEX. WTF??????? i really feel some kind of way about that, and like I get that I didn’t have to flirt with her and I guess I could have just not gone to the Vortex, I don’t understand the utility of a side romance you’re locked into. it made me feel super gross, and both violating and violated.  NOT EVEN PLAYING FIRE CHESS WITH DRACK, KESH AND VORN COULD CHEER ME UP.

Jaal tried to lift my spirits by choosing me over a fancy new job with the Resistance, but I couldn’t really get into it seeing as I was wracked with guilt over being forced to bang someone else. but he invited me to a date on Aya, so I went there and talked through all the angarans’ existential crises over the new ~revelations.

and then-- MY FAULT, REALLY, I COULD HAVE PICKED THE NO-SEX OPTION BUT AGAIN I WAS MOTIVATED LARGELY BY GUILT-- I had to endure the world’s most off-puttingly milquetoast Obligatory Act Three Side Boob (or as Helen calls it, the “pre-climax climax”). only IT WASN’T SIDEBOOB, IT WAS FULL ON BOOB. BOOBS LIKE A CHEST PLATE. IMMOVABLE, GRAVITY-DEFYING BOOBS. SOME MATRIARCH BENEZIA BADONKERS I HAVE BEEN CARRYING AROUND APPARENTLY. THAT STAND STRAIGHT UP EVEN WHEN RYDER IS SUPINE, AND ALSO I FEEL WEIRD THAT JAAL IMMEDIATELY UNDERSTOOD ORAL SEX WITH HUMANS????

I’m disappointed. which I figured would be inevitable given how poorly I think Bioware handles romance in general, but I was really hoping Jaal would be an exception because the only reason I romanced him at all was because his unique quirks took me by surprise and felt consistent and well-rounded. like! he’s so sweet and fuckin weird! where was any of that???  and then he called me TEMPTRESS in his follow-up email which I uhhh did not love.

luckily I was able to get the taste out of my mouth by having movie night with the crew my whole family, and Kallo reminded me why he is in fact my stealth fave. the body language in this scene was a surprise, but not an unpleasant one-- Cora leaning on Liam’s knees! Peebee cuddling Kallo! Helen said if I hadn’t romanced anyone I would have fallen asleep on Drack and that is Good, Actually.

only thing left is the end game! we’ll see how it goes. 

#leah plays mass effect andromeda

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “I’ve gotta be me”. Uma looks around nervously)

Uma: I really hope nobody in there heard that

Ben: nah, don’t worry, I shielded and soundproofed is from them

Uma: surprisingly thoughtful, uhhhh, aheh, at this point I usually call you derogatorily by your last name

Ben: Le Roi. Well legally it’s Bach. But officially it’s Le Roi

Uma: Benjamin. Florian. Le Roi. Do you have any idea how fucking ridiculous that sounds?

Ben: and your last name would be

Uma: Facillier. She doesn’t have a last name

Ben: ah.

Uma: oh. Oh my.

Ben: what’s up? Oh. Yeah he does that.

Uma: s’clever.

Ben: that’s Doug for you

Uma: why am I interested by that

Ben: we’re eighteen. And therefore weak to his power.

(They’re watching Doug eat a bowl of peanuts with just his tongue. Ben snaps out of the stupor first)

Ben: moving swiftly onwards. Hit me

Uma: heh?

Ben: hit me, sock me one, deck me, gimme a knuckle sandwich. Any variations the phrase retains the same meaning. Punch me in the face.

Uma: why?

Ben: I’ve got a theory I wanna test out.

Uma: but aren’t you...

Ben: ...more powerful then you? Yes. So make sure to give it you’re all then. C’mon, cahmon. C’mon, cahmon. HitmehitmehitmehitmehitmeWOOOO

(Uma slogs him around the face do hard he flips horizontally in midair and lands flat on his back right next to where the gazebo was. A full three feet away)

Uma: Z’that what you wanted?

Ben (utterly jubilant): as a matter of fact. Yes

Uma: so now what? Gonna Tell the missus?

Ben: nope. I’m gonna offer you a job.

Uma: ahahah that’s funny. I thought you said you were offering me a job?

Ben: I figure. If you put that much effort punching me. You’ll put the same effort into protecting me.

Uma: n-no, no, you’re not supposed to do that. You’re supposed to hate me. I had you kidnapped. I almost had you thrown to sharks. I hypnotised you. I almost capsized your stinking yacht. And you wanna give me the job of protecting you? Who the fuck does that?!?! For all you know I could do that again?

Ben: now why would you do that when our interests align? Besides the fact that I forgive you. I want to get kids off the island. You want to get kids off the island. What better way to do that then by working together? And yeah. You could probably do that again. But I’m willing to take that chance.

Uma (as Ben’s saying all this, and devolving into tears): no, no, shut up I your forgiveness that’s not how it’s supposed to go you’re supposed to hate just like I hate her will you SHUT UP

Ben: ooh. (Through a Cheshire Cat grin) Finally

(She’s skewered Ben in the stomach with her sword. He smiles, bends the blade in half, pulls it out of him and throws it upwards. He leaps up ten foot in the air and gives it a flying kick, shattering it into a chunky powder. He lands next to Uma, conjures an umbrella, pulls her close and lifts the umbrella over them just as the powder lands on their heads. In response she blasts him away with magic. What follows is a very violent, very acrobatic duel that trashes the garden, obliterates what’s left of the gazebo and Harry, gives Uma a broken arm, Ben a broken nose and leaves both of them missing a foot each. As a form of foreshadowing, throughout the entire fight the instrumental for “superhero” plays)

Uma: god I hope you’re happy

Ben: I am actually. Cause now I know I’m right

Uma: what?

Ben: we are both almost perfectly evenly matched. My twelve months of sheer power with your eighteen years of practice and look what we managed to do?

Uma: give your future sister in law a coronary?

Ben: fight to a stalemate. Please? For six months. You’ll get paid to yell at people and beat them up if necessary

Uma:...no

(This is when “superhero” happens. After the song Ben starts fixing the garden)

Uma: ok then. Let’s say I did take the job? Wouldn’t one of your own be more trustworthy?

Ben: Jane’s still in school. Lonnie’s going off to college with Gil next year and she was only filling in for the summer anyway. And Doug’s my major-domo. So can’t choose them even if I wanted to.

Uma: and the other three?

Ben: conflict of interest. Carlos is legally my son and he’s also still in school. Mals my fiancé and Evie’s her sister. So again. No go.

Uma: couldn’t you...

Ben: duplicate myself and have him as my bodyguard? I could. But then I’d be breaking my promise to my mother

Uma: huh?

Ben: she was ok with me having magic so long as I legitimately practiced it, didn’t use it for schoolwork, didn’t use it for paperwork, didn’t use it for personal gain, and it didn’t give my subjects cause to worry. For a year at least

Uma: personal gains the best part of magic though

Ben: last time a king used the power he’d been afforded for personal gain...well. You grew up in the result so telling you wouldn’t achieve anything

Uma: oh. But...

Ben: I could use my magic to quicken the relocation? Like I said. Paperwork, personal gain, worrying the subjects. It’s definitely something that needs to happen. But I’m not taking shortcuts because it needs to be done properly and through the correct channels.

Uma: well that’s bullshit. Wait. What was all that fighting singy thing for then?

Ben: loophole

Uma (snickering): oh beasty boy you are perfect

Ben: why thank you kindly captain

Uma (flatly): Don’t push it

Ben: ok, ok

Uma: I’m serious though. The best part about magic is that you can do anything you want

(This is when “everything is not what it seems” happens. After the song they go back into the house to find it in chaos. Doug has Cj in a full Nelson with her head near the lit stove. Elsa’s downing an entire bottle of sambuca. Evie’s preventing Harriet and Hades from trying to patch up Harry. Mal has stuck Hadie to the sofa so he can’t help Harry. Jane’s drunkenly yelling about how much she loves her friends. Carlos is on Jay’s back, Celia and Dizzy are hanging off Jay’s arms and all four are chanting “kill her” at Doug. Lonnie’s eating a sloppy joe omelette and watching the events unfold intently. Gil is swirling round a smoothie. He notices them first)

Gil: oh you’re back. Finally. D’you wanna...?

Ben: yeah. Um...ooh. Yes that’s it. Uma. Take half of this sceptre and follow my lead

(He snaps his own, collapsible sceptre in half, hands one of those halves to Uma, jumps onto the kitchen island, helps Uma up and together they spin each half until they make a high pitched screeching sound that makes the chaos stop)

Ben: could all my friends please come over to my side

Uma: alright you useless fuckers, SIDDOWN!!!!

Ben: now, what happened

Uma: yeah ceej, what did you do?

Cj: why do you assume I did anything when it was clearly this heterosexual imbecile

Uma: cause I know you kid, since you were five in fact, so I know it was probably your doing

Ben: what happened Doug?

Doug: she insulted Evie and I in our own house, belittled our relationship and tried to stab me in the head with a rotisserie blade. And I f that wasn’t bad enough

Evie: she called me a traitor and slapped me around the face

Doug: and that is how the situation you walked in on transpired.

Cj: bald faced lies

Uma: eh I believe it. What about you beasty boy?

Ben: sounds airtight

Cj: I cannot and refuse to believe that

Uma: that I believe him over you? Well get used to kiddo. Ya just like Harry, no matter how much ya try to deny it

Ben: one question tbough. How are you a traitor

Mal: oooh yeah, you dunno do you? It’s ugly. Just like every Hook in existence

Evie: if everyone must know. When I was fourteen she flirted with me. And I turned her down

Cj: her mother braINWASHED HER

Everyone except for her siblings: shut up!

Evie: I turned her down. Because. A. I’m straight. And. B. Even if I wasn’t, I have higher standards then filthy pirates

Ben: were you rude?

Evie: pardon?

Ben: were you rude? Sometimes you can be a little bit rude.

Evie: if I remember correctly my exact words were “I’m very sorry but my gang sent me on a mission so I must go”

Ben: that was very polite

Evie: thank you. Plus. I even withheld the information from Grimhilde cause I know she wouldn’t take it well.

Cj: What has that got to do with anything?

Evie: Quinn Harts

(The room seems to grow colder as hades and the Vks, including the hooks, all look at each other uneasily)

Cj: oh. So it’s not because you’re

Evie: homophobic? God no. It was incompatible orientation pure and simple.

Cj (chuckling nervously now because the eggs on her face): but you see I thought

Doug: all straight people are jackasses? Quite a few are. But Evie and I aren’t. If we’re being wholly honest. Your sexuality is literally the only thing I respect about you. If you weren’t a pirate I might’ve even introduced you to my cousin Sadie. But you’re an asshole. So I won’t

Ben: good to hear that’s all cleared up

Evie: we are as well. Now. You three. Get the fuck out of my house. You stray bitches have been here too long. I’m sure there’s a nice posture ruining rock outside for you to sleep on

Harriet: we’re family

Hadie: actually. No. You and straw girl aren’t our family. Harry is. But not you.

Evie: nah. He can piss off too. I’m still waiting for a dna test. Until then. He can rot from the inside for all I care.

Mal: even when the test is confirmed he can still rot. (Uma scowls at her) What? It’ll be funny

Elsa: Jay. C’mere. Would it be completely out of the question for you to replicate your previous spell.

Jay: uhhhh....No. But I’d need a living conduit. Like a performer.

Hadie: I’ll do it. The party’s dying and that won’t do. What? I’m a disciple of Dionysus. Partying is literally my job description.

Elsa: as well as loose morals.

Hadie: harsh much?

Jay: she means you sleeping around with any dude that looks at you nicely. Ready

Hadie: fire away

Jay: To get rid of these ants in their pants/I command thee all to get up and dance. Again

(This is when “shut up and raise your glass” happens. After the song everyone but Hadie, Jayand Elsa looks very disgruntled)

Mal: seriously? Again? That’s like twice in one hour

Jay: had to be done. And it’s of my professional opinion that every time you guys get uppity I’m gonna help instigate an impromptu rave

Ben: well it worked. And it was funny. So two birds one stone. Now. I believe Doug and Evie asked you three to leave

Harriet: ya cannae do that man. Ya don’t have the authority

Doug: ok then. Get out of our house. NOW!

Harry: no I. I don’t think we will.

Celia: get out. Or I’ll throw you out.

Cj: you and what army?

Celia: this one

(Here is glow fuchsia and the wall is washed down in shadows)

Harriet: d’ya really think I’m scared of a little girl like you?

Ben: to hell with this. May I?

Doug: please

Ben: thank you. (He jumps off the kitchen island, lifts Harriet off the ground by her coat collar with one hand, morphs his face into that of a beast and screams in her face) GET OOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

(There’s a moment of deathly quiet. Harriet whimpers. There’s a sound like a leaky faucet. And Ben morphs back to his human face which now bears a look of disgust)

Ben: did you just...?

Harriet: it’s been a really stressful day with no let up

Ben: uh-huh. (He drops Harriet on the floor and turns to his brother) Gil, buddy, uh

Gil (stony faced): burn the shoes then burn them again then throw them out.

Ben: on it

(He poofs out. Celia turn to Doug and Evie)

Celia: my turn?

Evie: yup. But don’t break the glass

Celia: perfect (she grabs Harriet by the back of her coat) out ya go rummy. (She throws her towards the window making her dissipate into shadow before contact). I’ve wanted to do this for years (she slaps Harry around the face, he too turns into shadow) buh bye you fatuous egotist (she pulls Cj’s hair and the final pirate disappears into smoke) that felt good

Uma: where did you put them?

Celia: eh don’t worry. I put them in the nautilus. Now. Shall we crack on with the party?

Everyone but Uma: HEAR HEAR

(Mal inches over to Jane and Lonnie)

Mal: what do you say we get some air for a while

(They nod and two minutes later they’re all on the bench laughing their asses off about certain unsavoury topics)

Lonnie (crying due to laughter but still trying to speak): all I’m saying is going to my grans seventieth in my ROAR uniform is nothing compared to you and Ben and his you know what

Mal (in the same state as Lonnie): its still pretty damn funny though

Jane: my mother should be here

(The other two stop laughing)

Mal: I know hon

Jane: but if she were here she’d complain. “Leave room for Jesus”. “Time for the lobster quadrille”. “I know you can now but you shouldn’t drink when you have guests”. The only ones I wanted to invite are here. Plus the four stooges. And she didn’t even show up to the party she made me have!

Lonnie: oooh please can I call the squid a stooge M? Pretty please with merlot on top?

Mal: you shouldn’t really be calling her a squid or a stooge. But if you do. Ok not responsible for what happens to ya.

Lonnie: fine.

Mal: now Janey. What say you we try and get all these annoyances out huh?

Jane: errrr...I’m game if you are.

Mal: perfect. (She gets up, goes to the midpoint between the bench and the gazebo and magically constructs a model version of Verna) now. What do you wanna say to her?

Jane: I ha...I can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry.

Mal: it’s ok bud.

Lonnie: could uh could music help? Possibly?

Jane: it might. I dunno.

Mal: shall we try it?

Jane: yes. And uh. You can vent too, I mean, if you want.

Lonnie and Mal: well alright then

(Mal clicks her fingers, a copy of Maleficent and Fa Li appear and music starts up. This is when “you don’t own me happens”. After the song they look and feel better. That’s when they hear Evie scream a profanity and a slap rings out from the kitchen)

Mal (heaving a heavy sigh): and once again. Chaos reigns supreme.

Lonnie: I’ll stay with Jane. You go.

Mal: I’ll send Hadie out to keep you company

(She goes back inside just in time for Evie to stalk past her. Hades is on the floor with a slightly shocked expression, a handprint on his face and he’s apologising profusely to Doug)

Mal: you got it down here? (Doug nods). Good. I’ll go kick her head into gear.

(She heads upstairs. Doug turns to back to Hades)

Hades: I’m so sorry my boy, I was just trying to help, if I caused——

Doug: yeah, no, my opinion of you doesn’t matter. Only Evie’s does. I want to ask you a question.

Ben: uh. Doug. Can I eat what’s left in the freezer? Only I can smell somethings about to go out of date

Doug: yeah sure. There only meat products in it. Go crazy. But please please mute the chewing.

Ben (brightly): thank you!

Hades: what is it you want to know

Doug: Maleficent

(Up in the guest room. Evie enters in a huff and slams the door to show Mal hiding behind it)

Mal (sardonically imitating a British accent): hello Harold (Evie screams in surprise) we need to talk

Evie (fed up): what? What now? What could we possibly have to talk about?

Mal: what I thought you got over earlier toady

Evie (cackles hollowly): THAT? That! Was a fluke. And then he tried to “help” me by getting in my way

Mal: has it maybe occurred to you that he actually WAS trying to help?

Evie: if he really wanted to help then he wouldn’t have abandoned me with Grimhilde sixteen years ago

Mal: oh Christ. You know why he did that

Evie: I know why he did it but it still hurt though. He could’ve taken me with him. He could’ve taken us with him

Mal: they wouldve hunted us down and made him watch as they killed us. Or worse

Evie: that doesn’t make me feel any better

Mal (in what she hopes is a comforting voice): look on the bright side. You got me as a sister. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Evie: no, not really.

Mal: urrrrgh. Would me making a fool of myself help you feel less of a loser?

Evie:...mayhaps

Mal: fine. Remember back before graduation we got paired up for the senior class showcase because verna wouldn’t let you and Doug dirty dance?

Evie: yeah

Mal: Bea Arthur or Bette Midler?

Evie (chuckling slightly): surprise me

(Mal clicks her fingers, they’re transported to a music hall stage with an invisible audience and the song starts up. This is when “sisters” happens. After the song Evie looks briefly empowered. Then deflates and flops onto the bed face first. Mal chuckles at this)

Mal: uh. Sis. Your remember that apart from being the guest room, this is Lonnie and Gil’s room as well, right?

Evie (in a muffled tone of voice): what’s your point?

Mal: well besides both being very sweet they’re also a pair of incorrigible gym rats who always forget to clean up the bed before they leave for home. So it wouldn’t be entirely out of the realm of possibility that there’s still a certain amount of used up gym wear under the covers you’re currently laying on...

(Evie’s eyes snap open cartoonishly, she screams, jumps up from the bed, makes claw hands at Mal in an attempt to throttle her, flails at the window, then looks down at her clothes and screams again. Throughout all this Mal is calmly amused, silently watching her sister crisis. When she’s had enough she grabs Evie by the arm and hurls her into the en-suite. Evie re-emerges two seconds later in new clothes and a cloudy expression)

Mal: lemme guess. Doug make that sweater?.

Evie: of course. I can sew. Doug can knit.

Mal: mmkay. Now are you going to get over yourself and let go of this ridiculous grudge you have against our father?

Evie: you just don’t get it do you?

Mal: probably not so enlighten me

Evie: this isn’t something I’m gonna get over in a day. This isn’t mamma Mia. I found out who my father was in the middle of a crappy day with even more crappy events piled on it. The man I love was put in a coma. My daughter was missing for most of the day. Ive had to fight for my life at least twice. I’ve had no time to process any of this. And you’re expecting me to get over this massive family reveal instantaneously? No. Something like this will take a lot longer then a day to get over. He abandoned me. I understand why he did it. But it still hurts. And as much as you say that you’re not like me. You have to understand that I’m not like you either. I’m angry. I’m angry he could’ve been there for me and wasn’t. And that anger’s not gonna go away any time soon. Either accept that or get out of my face

Mal: ahhhh. Ok. Now I understand. Katara

Evie: what?

Mal: you’re acting like katara. She was mad that her dad went off to war because she was a kid who needed him but felt like she couldn’t be because the reason for him leaving was noble. Dad let us go to save our lives. So you feel pissed that he left us. But you also feel like you can’t be cause of the REASON he left. It’s ahh, it’s a dilemma for sure

Evie: that’s not a dilemma. A dilemma is deciding between chicken and fish at your wedding. This is an impasse

Mal: mhmm, mhmm, uh huh. You know what would help.

Evie: what?

Mal: talking to him. And I mean not just calling him a rat bastard abandoner. Actually talk to him.

Evie: it’s not that easy M. Not when you were raised by Grimhilde. Not when every time you try to talk something out your met with scorn.

Mal: ohhhh. So that’s where “when in doubt, don’t” came from.

Evie: yup.

Mal: you were the good child. The golden daughter. You never misbehaved and you never spoke up for yourself. And now it come back to use your posterior as an entree.

Evie: yup. So you understand why it’s difficult for me. I can’t. I just can’t. Not after how my upbringing went.

(This is when “here I am” happens. After the song Evie confronts Hades in the kitchen just as he’s finishing his talk with Doug)

Hade:...I’m sorry my boy that’s all I know. Hello dear

Evie: I’m mad at you. I’m always gonna be mad at you. But. I don’t hate you. If I’m being honest, to protect Dizzy, I would’ve done the same. But it’s going to take time for me to...accept you.

Hades: I understand

Hadie: per...perhaps it would help if she saw it. The uh...incident in question, pops, maybe she’d understand a bit more if she saw what happened?

Evie: what, what incident

Mal (who’s been listening in): when he made the decision to stop contacting us.

Hades: I’m going to need a wand. And...A hat.

(Mal takes the sceptre, shrinks it down so it resembles a wand, ignores Uma’s incensed expression and hands it to her father while Hadie hands him his top hat. Hades sticks the wand handle in his right ear up to the emitter, to the teenagers collective disgust, roots around for a minute, then pulls out what looks like ash grey smoke tinged with midnight blue and pours it all into the top hat)

Hades: there you go. Just put the hat on the floor and spin

Doug (taking the hat): thanks. I think.

Mal: that looks worse then the hair ball Dude coughed up at his birthday party last month

Doug: how can...

Mal: don’t ask

Doug: ready

Evie: I guess

(In devies room. They’re sitting in the footlocker at the bottom of they’re bed)

Doug: now remember. No ones pressuring you into anything. You can stop any time

Evie: you’re very sweet. But I need to do this.

Doug: well ok then

(He sets the hat on the floor and spins. It goes faster and faster until it’s a blur. Light fills the room and replaces it with an alleyway on the island. They see Hades in his John Barrowman guise arguing with Grimhilde. He obviously loses since he gets a horrified expression on his face and leaves as Grimhilde smirks. There’s no sign of Evie. In Hades’s lair)

Anastasia: it couldn’t have been that bad

Hades (now Sebastian Stan): they both said the same thing. Iris and Hestia will be imperilled if I remain in contact. I have no choice. Please Antoine. For me

Facilier (wearily): only if you’re sure

Hades: yes. It doesn’t matter about me. Do it. Now.

(In the foyer)

Doug: are you ok?

Evie: no. But I want to keep watching

Doug: as you wish

(Anastasia pours Hades a drink and Facillier gets started. This is when “losing your memory” happens)

#disney descendants #zendaya!mal

[ohmyprodigalson]

You know how Malcolm goes undercover in the 1x09, well how about his girlfriend, the reader goes undercover for a similar situation (something involving a flirty conversation) and Malcolm gets jealous

This is vaguely NSFW. There is no actual sex, but precipitating factors are described. I tried to make him jealous without being too possessive, so I hope it works!

Trigger Warnings: Murder, murder after/during sex, mentions of sex with restraints, allusions to BDSM.

Word Count: 1,863

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They were all sitting in their room at the precinct, where they had the evidence taped to the whiteboards in front of them. There were four pictures, each of a woman that had been killed. It wasn't clear that there was a serial killer until it was discovered that they were all last seen at the same bar. (Y/N) sat with her arms crossed as she waited for Malcolm to start discussing his profile. Finally, his voice broke the silence.

"The evidence shows they all had sex just before they died and they were all last seen at a bar. So he's picking up these women for one-night stands and then killing them. For him, it's a power move, and possibly erotic. He probably can't fulfill his sexual needs at this point without killing."

Malcolm continued, turning around from the boards to face (Y/N), JT, and Dani. "And he needs this to make him feel... special. All of the witness accounts describe a very unremarkable man, which is why he's been so hard to find. But that's also why he does this. He is so bland in every way that he needs to resort to killing during sex to feel powerful, special, and in control in an otherwise boring life."

Gil was standing, propped against the wall with his hands in his pockets. "So how do we find someone that is so ordinary?"

Malcolm gestured to the pictures of the women behind him. "He clearly has a type. They are all the same height, race... they even have the same hair and eye color. We know what he's looking for, so maybe we can use that to our advantage?"

A thought occurred to Gil. He slowly looked over at (Y/N), who was blissfully unaware of what he was thinking. He thought those pictures looked oddly familiar. It's because they all looked like (Y/N). He turned back towards Malcolm. "What if we sent someone in undercover? Someone that fits his type?"

Malcolm shrugged as he nodded his head to the side. "It could work. Maybe lure him out of hiding?"

Gil looked at (Y/N). "So, how do you feel about going undercover?"

(Y/N)'s eyebrows arched up in surprise. "Me? Why?"

Gil let out a little chuckle. "Have you looked in the mirror? You're exactly his type."

"I... I guess I am." She paused as Gil stared at her, waiting for an answer. "Ok." (Y/N) nodded, more to herself than anyone else. She had been undercover before, but this made her a little nervous because of the sexual nature.

Malcolm was speechless. He couldn't believe it. His significant other was going undercover to catch a sexual predator and serial killer.

It was already the early afternoon, and Gil wanted to get (Y/N) undercover tonight. He didn't want to risk another death because they didn't mobilize fast enough. So before they knew it, Gil and JT were in a van across the street listening to (Y/N)'s mic, and Malcolm and Dani were watching her from across the room at the bar.

(Y/N) sat at the bar top in a little gold dress that sparkled in the dim light. She was all dressed up, hoping to attract his attention and draw it away from anyone else that was his type. She pushed her nerves to the side as she focused on the mission. (Y/N) needed to make seductive eye contact with every unremarkable man around her, enticing them all.

It surprisingly didn't take long for one of them to walk up to her. "Is this seat taken?" He motioned towards the open bar stool beside her. She shook her head as she smiled sweetly.

Malcolm watched as the man sat down and started talking to (Y/N). He could see her smiling and pretending to have fun. Even though he knew this whole situation was an elaborate ruse, he still couldn't help but feel jealous. He wanted her to only smile like that at him; not at some random man at a bar.

(Y/N)'s conversation with the suspect finally turned toward flirtation. This felt so wrong for her. It felt like she was doing something behind Malcolm's back; something she didn't want to do. She pushed through her feelings because she had a job to do.

The man made his move and asked (Y/N) to come back to his place with him. She agreed, and the plan was set into motion. His apartment was within walking distance, so she walked with him while the rest of the team trailed behind her in the van, a safe distance away. They parked across the street after (Y/N) entered his apartment.

Malcolm suddenly had an intense thought, and he blurted it out. "Does she have to have sex with him?"

Dani spoke first. "Well, she has to get the job done, so... She has to do whatever it takes to find some evidence. Hopefully she can find it before then."

There was a pit in Malcolm's stomach. This went above doing her job, in his opinion, and he couldn't help getting angry.

Meanwhile, the suspect had barely waited for the door to close before attacking (Y/N) with an onslaught of passionate kisses. With his hands on her hips, he pushed her through the apartment until they reached the bedroom. He started to unzip the back of her dress, and (Y/N) had to take the first step in doing something she desperately didn't want to do. She started to undress him with nimble fingers, continuing to trick the man into believing she wanted to have sex with him.

He pushed her down onto the bed, and she had to continue feigning lust. (Y/N) let out a little giggle as she bit her bottom lip. He motioned towards the head of the bed. "I thought we could use these. Do you want to get down and dirty with me? Do you want to be my naughty girl in need of punishment?" (Y/N) looked towards the head of the bed. There were leather restraints waiting for her. It made sense now, how he was able to kill his victims during sex. They couldn't fight back while restrained.

Every hair on her body stood on end and she felt nauseous. She would be capable of following through with this if she could fight back when he tried to kill her, but that wouldn't work with restraints. Even though this was a concern, it was overshadowed by her mixed emotions of frustration and sadness. (Y/N) had daydreamed about Malcolm putting her in his restraints and teasing her during sex. If she did it with this serial killer, it would ruin that daydream forever and she would never be able to realize it with Malcolm.

But she had no choice. She looked back at the man and exclaimed with delight. He reached past her to pick up the first restraint and it broke off the chain in his hands. The suspect let out a little huff. "Don't worry, I have another one. I think its in the bathroom?"

(Y/N) was stunned. What an odd place to keep such a thing. But she didn't hesitate. As soon as he left the room, she started to look for evidence. She hopped up off the bed to look underneath it, and she quickly rummaged through the drawers of his bedside table. Her heart was racing because the man could return at any minute, and she needed to find some evidence to avoid having sex with him.

A thought occurred to her and she decided to run her fingers between the bed and the headboard. That's when she felt cold metal on her finger tips. It was a small, dainty ring with hair wrapped around it. And at the end of the strands of hair was a small chunk of flesh. One of his victims must have gotten her hair tangled in her hands as she fought, and the force of her murder must have ripped the ring, and her hair, off of her hand.

This gave the team probable cause to enter the apartment, and she was immensely grateful. There was a very small mic taped to the inside of her dress, since she planned on getting naked to get into the suspect's apartment. She picked up the dress and spoke quietly into the mic. "I found something, and I think I have the DNA to prove he's the killer."

Malcolm didn't realize he had been holding his breath. He let out a deep sigh of relief as Gil spoke. "Alright, let's move in."

JT knocked on the door, announcing himself as police, but the suspect didn't hear him while rummaging through his bathroom. (Y/N) answered the door after getting dressed and let them in. They found the suspect, completely naked, searching for a restraint under his bathroom sink. After letting him get dressed, they arrested him.

Standing on the steps of the apartment building, Gil spoke to (Y/N). "You should go home for the night. You can fill out the paperwork tomorrow." She nodded, and he patted her on the shoulder before leaving.

Malcolm went home with (Y/N), but he didn't say a single word during the entire walk. She knew he was mad, but she wasn't exactly sure why. She hadn't done anything to warrant his anger.

When they got into the apartment, she stood by the kitchen island and watched Malcolm walk ahead of her. He had a stern and angry look on his face, and he was starting to make her angry as well. "What are you so mad about?"

"I'm not mad, I just..." He sighed with frustration. "How do you expect me to feel, watching you flirt with another man, and then listen as you get ready to have sex with him?"

"It's my job, Malcolm. You know damn good and well that I didn't want to do any of those things."

He yelled at her. "But that doesn't make any of it ok, or even tolerable!"

She didn't yell back at him because that would have only escalated the fight. "You can be mad at the situation all you want, but you had better not be angry with me. I didn't do anything wrong."

"How can I watch you and not get mad? You were doing things that I only want you to do with me! I want to be the only one for you because I love you!"

His last words echoed through the whole apartment. (Y/N) stared at him and he averted his gaze. Malcolm spoke quietly. "I know I shouldn't be angry, but I love you too much to watch you be that way with someone else."

She walked over to him and gently held his hand. "I love you, too. I promise this was just as painful, if not moreso, for me than it was for you."

Malcolm looked into her eyes and gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, and I'm sorry for my behavior tonight."

(Y/N) accepted his apology with a kiss before walking away and speaking with disgust. "I need a shower. I have to wash that man's touch off of me."

#someday i'll write about using malcolm's restraints during sex #prodigal son #malcolm bright #malcolm x reader #prodigal son imagine #prodigal son fanfic #gil arroyo #dani powell #jt tarmel #fanfic #imagine

[baidar-oroq]

23-Shuffle

(The Rising Stones, Mor Dhona)

Thancred watched as Urianger laid his cards out again on the table in front of him for the fourth time in the last half hour, closed his eyes, and selected one with an extravagant gesture before replacing it and shuffling the deck again. 

It made for something remotely resembling entertainment while he waited for Y’shtola to finish imbuing cartridges with aether for his gunblade, but as an application for an astrologian Thancred had wondered about its practical use. He crossed his arms over his chest as Urianger laid the cards out again and yet again selected one, looking at it with satisfaction before replacing it and re-shuffling the deck for a fifth time. “You would have a fine career at the Gold Saucer dealing cards if we ever find the world at peace, you know,” he pointed out. That drew a modest and entirely unmuffled snort of laughter from Y’shtola. 

“‘Tis not for gambling that I assay such maneuvers,” Urianger replied, laying out the cards again. “In times of direst strife, being able to locate the correct card for the situation is of utmost importance. One doth not have the time to search in battle, after all.”

“Ahhh, I see. And the dramatic poses as you do?” 

Urianger selected another card again, looked at it, nodded, and then reshuffled the deck again. “Allow me the rarest of moments of vanity, Thancred.” 

“You think it looks dashing,” Thancred replied. 

Urianger’s reply was interrupted by the chime of Thancred’s linkshell, and he raised a finger and said “Hold that thought,” as he answered.”Yes?” He frowned as he listened. “Baidar? Were you trying to get a hold of Y’shtola?”

“For once, no, I didn’t call the wrong person. Got Alisaie the first time, she was...amused. No. Actually, I have a problem down here in Vesper Bay and it seems more up your alley than mine.”

“Is this about your investigation for the Ironworks? Y’shtola told us what you were doing.” 

“Oh, yeah, it is. Dug into it and turns out that the shipment that was stolen had been stolen by Garlean soldiers.” 

Thancred blinked. “I’m sorry, did you say Garleans?” Urianger looked up from his cards, while Y’shtola finished imbuing a cartridge and frowned. 

“Yeah. We were questioning the clerk that allowed the theft and he said he’d been hired by someone named Servius pyr Verrus. Shortly after that, we got jumped by three Garlean soldiers. LIkely left behind to kill the clerk if he ratted them out. Had to kill them, they were shooting first and not even bothering to ask questions.” 

“A Garlean cell active in Vesper Bay? That’s decidedly bad news. What do you need from me?”

“Your expertise. I was in Othard for most of the Ala Mhigan war, and you spent your time infiltrating Garlean bases. Not going to lie, I’m over my head dealing with military intelligence matters.”

Y’shtola threw him the bag of imbued rounds, which he caught one handed, having anticipated what was coming next. “I’ll be there as soon as I can, then. See what I can bring to the table. Keep your eyes open.” 

“Generally do. See you soon.”

Thancred disconnected and looked at Y’shtola. “Your boyfriend has a knack for finding trouble, you know that?”

“He’s a Warrior of Light, Thancred. Trouble finds him well enough on its own..” 

“He was right to call me, though. I’ll notify you if things are really out of hand.” He walked past Urianger and patted him on the shoulder. “Keep practicing, Urianger.”

Urianger’s expression was best described as sour.

(Vesper Bay, later that day.)

Thancred found Baidar and Darya, along with another Viera woman who was clearly keeping an eye on a lalafell that he recognized as a worker at one of the local warehouses, beside a charred and burned wagon. In front of them in pools of dried blood were three bodies, covered by burlap sacks. A  few of the locals were ringing the scene, talking among themselves in whispers that increased as he arrived. “Hey Thancred,” Baidar called. “Thanks for coming.”

“Garleans active in our old home base, I wasn’t about to miss that. Darya, was the wagon your work?” She nodded. “I see Y’shtola is teaching you well then. And who might this beauty be?” 

He had directed this at the other Viera, but she nudged the lalafell with her toe and said “This would be the source of your problems, Jajariku. I’m Mist.” 

Thancred knew when a flirt had failed to land properly. “Well played, ma’am.” He knelt by the nearest body and pulled the burlap from it, examining the remains. “Hmm. Definitely the uniform of the XIIth Legion, though they’ve removed their insignia. Fairly typical of Garlean soldiers when they’re on deep penetration missions into enemy territory. Can’t hide their origin, but if all we’re left with is bodies like this we have no idea of their rank or much anything else.” He searched the pockets and came out with a coin purse, opening it. “Local currency, stamped in Ul’dah, generally used. They’d been operating behind lines for a while then. Long enough to have exchanged coin here. Has the feel of being here for a time.” “In Vesper Bay?” Baidar asked, scowling. 

Thancred dropped the purse on the body, covering it up with burlap again. He brushed his hands off and stood. “Vesper Bay, unlikely. No doubt the XIIth learned of the location of the Waking Sands from the XIVth Legion, which is why even after we relocated-and we Scions who were scattered after that unfortunate business with the Sultana returned-we kept an eye out for them. Raubhan had been doing it for a while, and after he decided to stay in Ala Mhigo that passed on to Pipin. No, this unit was likely operating in Western Thanalan and their presence here was a more recent thing.” He looked down at Jajariku, who was moving nervously from foot to foot, likely expecting the Garleans to try to kill him again. “You said someone calling himself Servius pyr Verrus contacted you?” 

The lalafell blew out a long breath. “Yeah. Biggest fucking mistake of my life. Told me to keep an eye out on any military shipments, or magitek, or Ironworks shit, and arrange for him to get a hand on it.”

“Hmm. If I had to wager a guess, this pyr Verrus was assigned to mapping Alliance supply lines during the Ala Mhigan uprising. Probably contacted a great many people in doing so. Thanalan is rife with people willing to put gil before patriotism, after all. I imagine he had no idea what he was taking, just that it was Ironworks.”

“Could they have, I dunno…” Baidar thought about it for a moment, clearly searching for a term. “Some kind of order to get their hands on Cid’s work?”

Thancred nodded. “Standing orders, most likely. If this was an intelligence unit-if they were spies-they could very well have been told to make acquiring Ironworks technology a priority. Highly likely that this unit has no idea what they stole.” Thancred looked at Baidar. “You haven’t mentioned what was stolen to this upstanding gentleman, have you?” 

Baidar shook his head. “Just what shipment was stolen. Not about to let a thief find out what was taken.”

Thancred smiled. “Very good, Baidar.” He thought about the situation for a moment, arms crossing over his chest as he was wont to. “If they were with the XIIth, odd that they’ve not been recalled by the Empire and are continuing their mission. Didn’t you say the VIIth had taken over on attacking at Ghimlyt Dark, Baidar? With this Weapon Project?” 

“Pretty much. The XIIth basically fell apart after Zenos was defeated and pulled out of Ala Mhigo.” 

“Perhaps the VIIth took over their infiltration operations, then.” Thancred thought about this for a moment. “Unless there was so much chaos when Ala Mhigo fell that this unit was lost, left behind, and they’re just following their most recent orders until they get new ones.” He looked up and noticed Darya was frowning. “Is something troubling you, Darya?”

She started, surprised at being questioned, before she said “I was, uhm. Just thinking, Had an idea, wasn’t sure how valid it was.”

“What were you thinking?” Baidar asked. “Right now you’re having more ideas than I am.”

She brightened at that, as she usually did at Baidar’s attention. As if your personal life isn’t already complicated enough, Baidar, Thancred thought. “Ahh. The idea, the thought I had was...you said that this man was keeping track of shipping to know what Alliance supply routes were?” 

“The Garlean commander, yes.”

She pointed at Jajariku. “Does it seem likely, then, that he’s the only one in the area he used?”

Thancred’s eyes widened, as did Baidar’s. “Oh. Oh, very good, Darya. That does seem highly unlikely. I still have contacts in Ul’dah, of course. Can start asking them. Baidar, would you mind delivering our ambitious clerk to the local authorities? I suspect little will come of it but it is worth a try.” 

“I’ll do it,” Mist said, nudging Jajariku in the back with her knee. “Try to get in the good graces of the locals, maybe get some work out of it.” She started to walk away, but she stopped beside Darya. “Take care of yourself, Darya. Looks like your life is very interesting these days.” She kissed Darya lightly on the lips once, then led Jajariku away.

“I feel,” Thancred said after a moment, “that is going to be an interesting story, whenever you get around to explaining it, Darya.”

Darya could only blush in response.

#FFxivWrite2020 #ffxivwrite #there are three definitions of shuffle in this #darya will explain mist sometime #like years away #also realizing i was going to have to write URIANGER DIALOG was terrifying #if i ever have to write longer scenes with him #i'm going to just write normal dialog and then re-write it so you get the thees and thous and things like delivereth #yes #he actually has SAID delivereth

[lightsaberwieldingdalek]

Big long list of all the fic stuff I’ve got, for @ruelukas22 ‘s perusal (or anyone else if they’re interested.

Fic I’ve got lots of notes on

* FFXV- Ardyn+Gil=Daughter. A SI fic of me keeping on dying. Also has afab Ardyn split between a culture where the first child inherits, and one where the first son inherits, and lots of Solhiem world building

* Avatar the last Airbender- Avatar Ty Lee. Lots of quick unhappy lives of the avatars till Ty Lee, granddaughter of an air refugee accidentally bends air.

* Naruto & MCU- Blotched Reincarnation. The Avengers are supposed to reincarnate in Naruto as the Rookie 13+kids, but something went horribly wrong, and now they’re all ghosts trying to parent these kids , because their actual parents aren’t doing a very good job, are they?

* Worm- Family Quest. Taylor Herbert does not have powers. What she does have is some very ... interesting relatives coming for Christmas.

* Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic- Many, Many Reasons Why The Endar Spire Is A Terrible Place To Work. Lisa is a pissed off semi-ex smuggler who’s serving on the Endar Spire, and nothing else.... Right?

* Batman- O Child of Gotham. An ordinary Gothamite teacher looks up a few things for her students, and stumbles across something far bigger than she knows.

* Bleach & Naruto- Urban Fantasy Kaguya. Kaguya has kept her sons hidden from their shinigami father for a long time, but his blood is starting to manifest in the twins.

* FFXV- Titan’s people. If all the other Astrals can patronise a people and place, why can’t this one.

* D&D- Amnesia D&D. In either a fantasy Au or with an actual d&d game, everyone wakes up completely mindwiped in a dungeon and have to work out who they are, what they can do, and why they were mindwiped.

* Naruto & Jurassic Park/World- Raptor Sakura. Sakura Harano, at 5 years old, ends up on the Dinosaur summoning contract. She then raises a pack of velociraptors.

* Naruto & Others- Infinite Loops style thing. Team 7 are bouncing from universe to universe trying to get home, waking up in other fandoms as other characters, and basically mucking about trying to get home.

* Naruto- Kaguya. Backstory of how Kaguya went from abandoned baby in a rice field, emperors concubine, pregnant woman on the run, and finally Goddess.

* Naruto- Mito Sensei. Mito Senju reincarnates, nearly gets taken into ROOT, and passes as boring, till Naruto is born as she becomes a teacher to take care of him. Then things get out of hand.

* Naruto- Seer Sakura. Sakura is a completely Done TM seer who is just trying to live, but the only way involves all these completely ridiculous people.

* Naruto- Zetsu is Best Uncle. Zetsu is mostly canon, but then sees the reincarnations of his nephews and decides that his Mum might like Grandkids to spoil. Things are surprising fluffy.

Things I only have the premise and a few sentences for

* Naruto & any fandom- Another Blotched Reincarnation. The same premise, but any other characters ending up as ghost-mentor.

* Mass Effect- Baby Prothian. The Beacon at the start of of Mass Effect 1 has a baby Prothian inside in suspended animation, and assigns Shepard as the new mum, plugging in required information to take care of a Prothian toddler at the same time as all the visions of destruction.

* Naruto- Happy Modern Sage Family. Fluffy AU where we follow adventures of the brothers Naruto and Sasuke, who are looked after by their old blind gran kayagua, and their sketchy uncle. Their dad is in a coma, and their other uncle works on the other side of the world but video chats sometimes.

* Harry Potter- Harry Potter’s got Voices in his head! Harry has a link to the afterlife in his head thanks to the killing curse, and gets raised by an eclectic collection of ghosts from all times and societies.

* Any Fandom- Horror is an outside Point of View. A story never from the point of view of the main character, who has travelled back in time to fix everything, and is a toddler showing impossible knowledge. It’s written like one of those “possessed child” horror movies.

* Mass Effect- Mass Effect Time Travel 1. The entire crew of the Normandy travels back in time- to a time when the most of them are 5 years. Que bafflement when a bunch of kids, a Prothian being relentlessly flirted with by a teenage asari and a baby krogan corner a spectre and yell at him that he mustn’t listen to the squid-robots.

* Mass Effect- Mass Effect Time Travel 2. Shepard time travels to the start of the game, and because of the conclusion of the games, is regarded by the enemies as a very small reaper. This makes the fights a lot easier but brings up some very awkward questions from her bosses. Also annoys some people on the citadel when none of the doors stay locked for her.

* Miraculous Ladybug & KHR or Game of thrones- tentative lining up the Miraculous with flame types and the gods of the seven.

* Naruto & Mass Effect- Hunting God Trees. The earth in Mess Effect is replaced with a post-canon Naruto world. They are appropriately ninja about how much info they give the Citadel council, and have been expected the return of Kaguyas species for over a century.

* Worm & Other Fandom- Queen Admin gets Adventurous. In either their death scene, or another do-or-die situation, a character from another fandom triggers with a power tailored (pun completely intended) to their situation, but still under the purview of Administration.

* Naruto & Other Fandom- Epic Sakura time. Just, an epic female character reincarnates as Sakura and kicks ass.

* Naruto & Dishonoured. Marked Sakura. During the Mission to Wave, Sakura is taken as a hostage/collateral/slave. She is then marked by the Outsider, fights her way out, and must hide her abilities from Konoha so she isn’t assumed to have a new bloodline and bred for it.

* Naruto- Sakura, Daughter of the Sage. Indra and Asura had a younger sister named Shashi. Zetsu killed her as an infant and kept doing so, keeping the remaining sibling out of balance and fighting. Due to the whole fourth dead and kyubi attack thing, he doesn’t find her as she’s being born- the only time he can track her- and the baby is named Sakura.

* Any Fandom- Urban Fantasy Police. an underfunded police station filled solely by supernatural beings -but none of them know that any of the others are non-human.

* Worm & Naruto- Shino cannot Flirt. Taylor Hebert, the big controller, has Shino ineptly trying to seduce her, and failing in hilarious ways.

* Naruto & Total Recall- How the hell do I have three separate ideas for this?! Naruto and/or Sasuke live in a near-future sort-of-dystopia, with a boring Job, like, I don’t know, Customer Service Rep. They see an ad for a memory implanting service called Total Recall. Go in and get a Fantasy package. This accidentally wakes up memories of being Hashirama/Madara and/or Asura/Indra, either as actual reincarnation or Brainwiped government super-soldiers. OR. Take the schwarzenegger movie, but instead tech implanting the false memories, its 1 or more of your preferred ninjas using genjutsu, dimensionally displaced by the power of backstory, and presumably also moonlighting as mob muscle. When Arnie freaks about the mind wiping, said ninja(s) restrain and get the whole story out of him. OR. Danzo gets in charge. He decides that the Uchiha and Uzumaki are too difficult to command. So, by the power of Sharigarm, he Wipes their memories and makes them think they were civilian Uchiha/Uzumaki bastards/kids of bastards who were taken to Konoha. He also get ROOT to “acquire” some actual ones from anywhere and messes with their heads too. He then proclaims that it is sad that that loyal shinobi and the traitor died fighting each other, and, Danzo then proclaims that to restore 2 of Konohas Greatest Clans, he has found as many descendants of them, and has instituted a plan to create a new generation of them(loyal to him of course). However many years later, a retired shinobi decides to teach the married couple of a Uchiha and an Uzumaki basic ninja skills till they can use that jutsu that temporarily sex-changes you so gay couples can have kids (because of course this blood obsessed culture will have that) So old shinobi is teaching married civilian Naruto and Sasuke. They accidentally break the mind wipe during “kai” training and get really, really pissed.

#i have too many ideas #i did not realise how many of these there were till i tryied to type it all up #if anyone else is interested #feel free to #ask about them or just use yourself #tell me if you do though?

[harryy-hookk]

Princess of Hearts

Pairing: Harry Hook x Reader

Word count: 2,221

A/N: this is my first descendants imagine, I hope you enjoy!!

No one dared enter the fish and chips shop after Uma returned from her failed attempt at getting revenge on Mal.  Only her and her crew went inside, hence causing business to be at an all-time low.  Not that it was usually busy, but Uma needed the money to satisfy her mother, and Harry’s petty theft was not enough to sustain them.

So when a girl in a torn up, bright red dress and white leather jacket walked into the shop, it took everyone by surprise.  All the pirates suspiciously eyed her as she entered.

It wasn’t a mystery who this girl was: (Y/N) Heart, the daughter of the Queen of Hearts, was notoriously different from her mother.  While the Queen of Hearts was tempestuous, loud, and violent, (Y/N) was a mysteriously quiet and patient girl.

“Well, well,” Harry was the first to approach her, wearing his iconic smirk. He leaned against the wall and brushed a strand of her hair out of her face with his hook. “What ‘cha doin’ here, princess?”

“Just getting some lunch, Hook,” she answered simply as she grabbed his hook, moving it away from her face.

Harry chuckled to himself as he stepped out of her way, mockingly bowing as she walked past him.  She sat down at an empty table.

Uma stormed up to Harry and grabbed his collar to whisper in his ear.

“I don’t trust her,” she muttered.

“She’s just getting some food, Uma,” Harry quietly countered her, keeping his eyes glued to (Y/N).  "There’s nothing to be suspicious of.“

"She used to be friendly with Mal,” Uma spat.  "I don’t care if she’s just here for the chips.  Keep an eye on her.“  She slammed a tray with fish and chips on it in Harry’s chest and pushed him towards (Y/N).  He approached her table and carelessly tossed the tray onto the table.  When she looked up at him, she watched as Harry turned around the chair across from her and sat down in it.

"The waiters don’t usually keep the customers company,” (Y/N) noted as she grabbed a chip.

Harry smirked.  "Do I look like a waiter to you, sweetheart?“

"You did bring me my food.”

“Touché.”

They sat in silence as (Y/N) ate her fish and chips with Harry occasionally stealing a chip.

When her meal was finished, (Y/N) nonchalantly tossed a random amount of cash on the table and stood up.  Harry immediately followed suit and shot up from his seat.

“Thanks for the food,” she sarcastically thanked with a tight smile, and she turned on her heel, exiting the shop.  Harry turned and glanced at Uma, who signaled for him to follow her.  He groaned as he went after her.

“You know, villains don’t normally use manners,” he said once he caught up with her.  He attempted to wrap his arm around her shoulder, which she immediately shrugged off.

“I’m not a villain,” she responded.  "My mother is.“

"But you’re her daughter,” Harry replied, furrowing his brows.  "Don’t you at least think you’re evil?“

"Evil?  No.” She shook her head.  "I’m unpleasant, sure, but not evil.  I’m not gonna try to fool myself like Mal did and try to convince myself that I’m evil.  I’ll do what I have to do to protect myself in this place, but that’s it.“

"Then I guess you’re on that list to get more VK’s into Auradon,” Harry snorted, rolling his eyes at the mere thought.  To his surprise, (Y/N) laughed.

“Oh god no,” she scoffed.  "Just because I’m not evil doesn’t mean I’m gonna go to the land of preppy princes and princesses.“

Harry found himself genuinely laughing at that.  Before he could utter a response, (Y/N) stopped in her tracks.

"Well, this is my place,” she announced, gesturing to the building covered in red paint.  "Thanks for walking me home.  It was very gentlemanly of you.“

She walked into her house before Harry could argue that he was definitely not a gentleman.  For a moment, he almost forgot that the only reason that he walked her home was because Uma wanted him to follow her.

The next morning, Harry found himself wandering in the general vicinity of (Y/N)’s house, waiting to "accidentally” bump into her.  His opportunity presented itself when (Y/N) stood by a fruit stand, examining the apples.

“What a coincidence,” Harry whispered into her ear as he approached her from behind, “finding you here.”

“Didn’t think this was your area, Hook,” (Y/N) quipped, not looking away from the fruit.  She didn’t bother to tell him off as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

“I’m just full of surprises, aren’t I?”

“You certainly are,” she agreed with sarcasm dripping from each word.  She filled her bag with apples, not paying attention to Harry, who had his chin resting on her shoulder and his arm wrapped around her waist.  She handed some cash to the lady behind the cart and began to walk home, Harry’s arm still resting in the same place.

“Why do you always pay for things?” he questioned.

(Y/N) shrugged.  "Because people need it,“ she answered.

"That’s not a very evil-”

“Unpleasant,” she corrected.

Harry rolled his eyes.  "Right, unpleasant.  That’s not a very unpleasant thing to do.“

"It’s not my life mission to be an unpleasant person, Hook.”

Harry stopped before (Y/N), this time, upon recognizing her house.  She lightly smirked as he unwrapped his arm from her waist.

“You know,” she leaned in to whisper in his ear, “it’s not a very unpleasant thing for you to always walk me home, too.”  She quickly kissed Harry’s cheek before dashing inside, leaving him standing outside as he fought the blush creeping into his cheeks.

Harry continued to follow (Y/N), as Uma ordered, throughout the rest of the week.  Although, for him, it felt less and less like following every day.

He was about to leave the fish and chip shop that day to begin “following” (Y/N), but before he could exit, Uma stopped him.

“Where are you going?” she inquired.

“To follow (Y/N),” he answered as if it was obvious.

“You’ve been following her for a week,” Uma said, “and you’ve found nothing suspicious.  I think it’s safe to say she’s not a threat.”

“I said that to you when she came in, but you still made me follow her,” Harry argued.

Uma rolled her eyes.  "Whatever, it’s not a concern anymore.  Go train instead, you’re gonna get out of shape if you keep spending all your time following this girl.“

Harry longingly stared at the exit for a moment before reluctantly nodding and heading towards the ship, grabbing a sword on his trek there.

He trained with Gil for a few hours before declaring that he needed a break.  When he turned around to leave the ship, he spotted (Y/N) standing by the bridge.  He smirked as he noticed her gaze scanning his shirtless figure.

"What brings you here, princess?” he asked, grabbing a towel.

She bit her lip and avoided eye contact with him.  "I-“ she stopped, choking on her own embarrassment.

"Yes?” Harry couldn’t help but allow the grin that was exponentially growing on his face.

“I came here because you weren’t by my house today,” she muttered, keeping her gaze focused on the ground.

“What was that?” he questioned as he inched closer to her.  He knew exactly what she said the first time.

“You weren’t by my house today,” she repeated a bit louder this time.

“But why did you come here?” Harry pressed, continuously moving closer to (Y/N) until her back was pressed against a wall.

“I told you-”

“But that wasn’t really why,” he interrupted her.  Her gaze was still focused on the floor, so he grabbed her chin and tilted her head up.  "Look at me, princess.“

"I like walking around with you, okay?” she finally burst.

Harry smirked.  "That’s all I needed to hear, princess.“  He began to lean in, still gripping her chin, and their lips were millimeters apart when they were interrupted.

"Harry!” Uma yelled, storming towards the ship.  Harry groaned as he moved away from (Y/N), resting an arm above her head.

“Sorry, love,” he quietly apologized before turning to Uma.  "Yes, Uma?“

"What are you doing?” she demanded.

“Taking a break from training.”

“With her?”  She angrily gestured towards (Y/N).  "I told you that you don’t have to follow her anymore!“

"Follow me?” (Y/N) echoed, stepping back from Harry.  "What does she mean, follow me?“

"Princess, I-”

“You only walked with me because Uma ordered you to keep an eye on me,” she didn’t allow Harry to explain.  "You never wanted to spend any time with me.“

"No, no, sweetheart,” Harry tried to cup her face, but she tore it away. “I-”

“All that flirting,” she spat, backing away from him.  "God, I’m so stupid, I actually thought that meant something.“

"It did, (Y/N)-” He grabbed her wrist in an attempt to prevent her from leaving.

“Congratulations, Harry Hook,” she scoffed, and Harry watched a single tear roll down her cheek.  "You are truly evil.“  She ripped her wrist out of his grasp and ran off.

He stood frozen in his spot, watching her figure fade.  When she was out of sight, he started to scream incoherently, punching the wall that he pinned (Y/N) to minutes ago.

"Come on, Harry, you haven’t trained with me for days!” Gil exclaimed after Harry rejected his offer to train for the seventh time.  "Uma’s gonna be mad if you get too far out of shape.“

"This is Uma’s fault,” Harry seethed.  "If she hadn’t ordered me to follow (Y/N), none of this would’ve happened.“

"Dude, get over her,” he waved the thought off.  "Sure, she was hot, but she was kinda lame.  I mean, she paid for her food.  Who does that?“

"Someone who’s not evil,” Harry muttered and stormed out of the shop.  He headed towards the fruit stand that he knew (Y/N) went to, the stand he went to every day since that incident at the ship, hoping that one day she’d be there.  Once he arrived and scanned the area, he learned that she, again, was not there.

“Damnit,” he mumbled under his breath.  He bided his time by perusing the selection of fruits.  By the time Harry felt like he had examined every piece of fruit at the cart, he was starting to give up hope.  He was about to leave when a voice caused him to perk up.

“Yeah, we ran out of apples this morning, so I’m just running a quick errand and grabbing them,” (Y/N) was explaining to the lady running the stand.  Hook’s eyes widened as he silently moved towards her.  

(Y/N) reached into her pocket to pay for the apples, but Harry, who stood directly behind her, beat her to it.

“Allow me, princess,” he said, handing some cash to the lady.  Both the lady and (Y/N) stared at him with confused expressions, shocked that the notorious thief Harry Hook actually paid for something.  “Come on, love, I want to talk,” Harry whispered in (Y/N)’s ear before dragging her off.

They wound up in a dark, quiet alleyway.  When Harry finally stopped walking, (Y/N) found a chance to rip her arm out of his grip. She began to run away, but Harry caught her wrist.

“Just give me a minute to explain, please,” he begged her.  Taken aback by his usage of manner, she silently obliged and stopped trying to escape.  “I messed up.”

“Yeah you did.”  It was the first time she had actually spoken to him.

“I know, I know, and I’m a total idiot,” he agreed with her, “and I’m sorry.  When you walked in the shop that first day, Uma was suspicious of you. I told her that there was nothing going on, but she insisted that I follow you.  I didn’t want to, I swear, but I had to.  And every day that I spent with you, it felt less and less like following and more and more like… like-”

“Like what?” (Y/N) questioned, subconsciously inching closer to Harry.

“It felt like we were just spending time together, you know?  Actually enjoying it.”

“That still doesn’t justify you leading me on like that just as an attempt to get information,” she huffed, crossing her arms.

“Get information?”  He stared at her quizzically.  “I didn’t flirt with you to get information.”

“Then what was it?  Am I just a game to you?  Harry Hook, the infamous flirt on the Isle, just had to have a crack at me to see if he could do it. Well congrats, you did it.  Now you can move on and go pursue some other-”

Before she could finish her ramble, Harry frustratedly grabbed her face and smashed his lips against hers.  He slowly moved forward, backing (Y/N) into the wall.

“What,” she tore away from Harry, breathing heavily, “was that?”

“You never seem to let me speak, do you, princess?”  Harry grinned before pressing his lips on (Y/N)’s once again, this time allowing her to reciprocate faster.  She knocked his hat off his head and tangled her fingers in his hair.

“I’m still mad at you,” she reminded him after she pulled away, fighting a smile.  

Harry grinned.  “No you’re not.”

#yikes i hope u like #harry hook x reader #harry hook #harry hook imagine #harry hook fic #descendants 2 #disney #disney descendants #thomas doherty #reader insert #evie descendants #mal descendants #carlos de vil #carlos descendants #jay descendants #king ben #ben descendants

[atopearth]

Piofiore: Fated Memories Part 2 - Dante Falzone Route

Hmm maybe Dante's route will answer why Lili seems to be so important to the Falzone and the church? Is she a descendant of the people who were tasked by "angels" to create this church and thus led to the creation of the Falzone or something? I wonder how Orlok is involved though~ Interesting to see Dante personally come to the church to protect and save Lili even though I doubt Orlok really meant any harm. Loll at Dante though, he seems like such a silly awkward boy that doesn't know how to properly communicate with others, he wants to keep her safe in the Falzone estate but doesn't even properly tell her that he intends to do that and just kinda assumes it by giving her a room and everything lol. Honestly though, I feel sorry for Lili, although she's being "protected", it's practically as if she's been kidnapped since she's not even allowed out of her room, and no one from the church or wherever is supposed to know that she's here, I would feel so uncomfortable if I was her. I guess at least she tried talking to Dante about it, too bad he refuses to say anything😪 I love how Leo is such a pure and earnest soul though, he is so kind and sweet to Lili, he tries so hard to help her too, it's nice that Leo is such an understanding and thoughtful bodyguard.

Lmaoo when Lili made a silk rope and tried to climb down the balcony to escape. To be fair, I would risk doing the same thing, Dante really isn't helping the situation by hiding everything from her. The CG of Dante catching her when she fell is so pretty though! I knew that Dante was hiding how the people were doing at the church because something happened to Sister Sofia but I didn't expect her to have died... Awww it was so cute how Leo thought Lili tried to run away because he was stuck to her 24/7 loll, he gives her so much space, there's no way he's overbearing! He's such a good boy🥺 especially now that she's not eating after finding out what happened to Sister Sofia, so he's trying to find a way to get her to eat. I love the suggestion of getting Nicola, Leo and Dante to eat with her to try and motivate her in a way. Too bad Dante didn't do it, but it's nice to see Nicola spending time naturally chatting with her and eating with her, I think eating together with someone really helps to make the food easier to take in. Omgg, Leo is such a cinnamon roll, he even took time out to buy her books and flowers since he felt bad that he didn't have permission to eat or do anything with her🥺 Ohh, Dante told him to get the gifts for her! Hahaha, omg, he's so cute🤣 It's actually kinda funny but so sweet how attentive and efficient Dante is. She just told him that she's a bit lonely since Leo has been busy and he tells Leo to get her a kitten the next day lmao. I'm actually impressed at how good he is at thinking of gifts to help her be more comfortable here. Dante's gentle expression patting the kitten was so comforting, I loved it. It was also nice to see Lili finally properly cry over Sister Sofia's death with Dante consoling her by rubbing her back🥺 Oh okay, I thought Sister Sofia dying was weird, but I didn't think that Dante would lie about such a thing to Lili especially knowing how important she was to her, I'm not surprised Lili felt betrayed. I'm glad Dante sincerely apologised for lying to her though.

HAHAHA, I loved how when Nicola was flirting with Lili and seemed to be coming on to her, she just shoved him away and ran off lolll! Although I'm happy that Leo is so considerate of Lili to bring her to the church whenever they have a chance to sneak out, it's obvious that something is going to happen now that she's out hahaha. As expected, the Lao-Shu are on the move for her, but I didn't expect Yang himself to be here for her. Omgggg I never expected to hear about Gau Lung Seng Caai aka Kowloon Walled City in here, I guess it would make sense for Yang to come from there since it was basically fully controlled by triads back in the day~ It's kinda worrying that Orlok can invade the Falzone estate and get to Dante so quickly loll, on the other hand, Orlok is a disciple of the church? Ugh, I wanna punch Nicola, like seriously, it's come to the point where they're running away to hide somewhere others don't know about and Nicola STILL insists that no, Lili shouldn't know anything because it's a secret and who knows if it's true since it's so long ago blah blah. Honestly dude, it's not important whether you think it's true or not, the truth is that people like Yang are going after her because they find value in her being the Key Maiden that can unlock the seal to the sacred relic (kinda the symbolic thing that gives the Church power in Burlone since back in the day). They obviously know that her life is in danger because of this, hid it from her all this time "because it's for her own good" when really, they're just treating her like a literal key they can drag from place to place to "protect" disregarding the fact that she's a human and has her own emotions and thoughts. And what? Nicola wants to blame her for sneaking out? Excuse you, yeah she's wrong, but don't make it sound like you guys are right for basically locking her up in the manor without telling her anything important. Like yeah, the Falzone are the guardians protecting the sacred relic and her so of course they know their mission and stuff but there's a huge difference when you know something and when you don't, being kept in the dark just makes everything worse. Honestly they could have just made up some lie to her instead.

Oh how interesting, they even have Disciples like Orlok to monitor the Falzone to see if they're properly fulfilling their roles as guardians?? That kinda seems...silly? Like, why don't you share protection of the relic instead? Also, how do you even know if they're properly doing their job or not? Like, you need the pure Falzone blood (and that's why they're so adamant on the importance of pure Falzone blood) to open the seal and get to the relic but you don't need it to protect it? But I guess there's more to this~ Anyway, Dante blushing on the sofa when he woke up with Lili nearly tripping down on him was cute haha. I'm not sure if I missed it though, wasn't Carlo the cat supposed to stay at the manor? Lmao at Dante being bad at household chores, at least he tried I guess. Yeah, Nicola likes to cause trouble huh? Now Lili thinks Dante is only nice to her because she's the Key Maiden, which is a legitimate worry, but it is pretty slack of her to avoid Dante when he's earnestly trying to approach her and understand what's wrong lol, I feel bad for him.

Like, I don't want to call the Falzone family weak since I feel like depending on the route and stuff, the story "makes" them weak when they want to so that the story can go whichever way they want but c'mon, laced wine that Nicola and Dante didn't notice? I'm surprised they fell for something like that. Nicola is definitely in on it, and Dante is careless lol. But then again, I feel like all our Mafia bosses here make questionable decisions too so I'll just roll with it lol. It was so heartwarming to see Dante so relieved to reunite with Lili and confirm that she's safe. Others can act as the Key Maiden??? So what's the point of Lili then...? Just more convenient? Anyway, the Falzone sure fell in reputation faaast from a newspaper report about corruption with police blah blah, like um, you knew they were Mafia so obviously not everything is going to be all colourful with rainbows, and it's so hilarious how the townspeople can just treat people like Giulia like shit now, excuse me, but I'm sure if Dante and them wanted to, they still have the numbers to oppress you guys, he's just too nice spoiling you all and you tread on him like that after he treated them so well over the years. Ungrateful people. Anyway, their confession was cute, but it sure took a long time for Lili to properly assess her feelings and be honest about her thoughts, but I think Dante being frank about his thoughts was the highlight. A bit like an explosion of all his feelings, his inadequacies, his worries and everything, it's nice that Lili was beside him, because I'm sure Nicola betraying him always hits him hard. On a whole though, sometimes I find it kinda funny how Yang is the only one Mafia-like in that he's actively trying to gain more power and territory, whereas Gil and Dante are pretty chill with the situation (as long as the power balance stays I guess) aside from the troublesome Yang guys lol.

Hahahaha okay, I thought I was vulgar for thinking that Dante and Lili needed to have sex for her "mark" as the Key Maiden to become prominent as needed for the seal (according to Emilio) but to think it really was that!! Okay, funnily, I didn't expect the sacred relic to actually be Jesus' dead body which apparently refutes all the church's teachings since Jesus would be seen as a "normal human" that died, which for me feels kinda silly? I'm not sure what the general consensus is and I never realised that Jesus' body was "stolen" or just cannot be found, but I guess I never really thought that when Jesus died, his body disappeared? I always assumed that Jesus "came down to Earth" and died for our sins in a mortal body, so obviously if he dies, the body will remain but the soul and the spirit or I guess the Holy Spirit leaves and kinda forms the Holy Trinity again? Anyway, I don't know my Bible stuff anymore so I'm not sure anymore, but for me, I feel like this "revelation" is pretty weak and honestly shouldn't be able to undermine the Church but that's just my opinion lol. Anyway, I love how after all that, Yang is just like I'm gonna kill you guys because he hates the Church anyway and he's lost most of his men so he's got nothing much to lose anymore so he might as well take them down with him, I feel like Yang is so random sometimes but I'll roll with it since it's much more amusing to watch him haha. Honestly, I feel so sad for Orlok dying to protect Lili when I feel like she never really saw him for how kind he was, and now he's being relentlessly stabbed by the crazed Yang that's probably on drugs. On the other hand, this might sound crazy but I like this ruthless Yang and I feel like I'm finally seeing a bit of the terror and bloodshed I expected from a game about the Mafia hahaha. Anyway, I'm glad Lili shot a bullet into the air distracting Yang and allowing Dante the opportunity to kill him, I think Yang would be satisfied with that since it seemed like he was just looking for an entertaining way to die. I'm glad that Nicola properly apologised to Lili for his crappy attitude towards her lol.

Well, the best ending was definitely more plot than romance, and I'm honestly not a fan of the plot here haha, it was more boring than I thought. Anyway, that made the romance part have less time so yeah..but seeing Dante propose to Lili was still cute haha. I actually prefer the good ending much more, it felt like it was straightforward, simple and sweet without the unnecessary plot haha, I also liked how she decided to stay at the church and didn't feel like she was ready to leave and stay in his manor with him yet, which is very understandable imo and I liked how they are spending more time properly bonding instead of living in those moments so focused on protecting her and everything. It felt much more natural. Honestly, Nicola dying by Dante's hands to protect Lili in the tragic ending was expected, and it was sad since Nicola always wanted the best for Dante and he's right that the Mafia will slowly become more and more redundant as time goes by, but I think Dante accidentally killing Gil and Lili going into a coma to protect Dante was really unnecessary. It just basically took away the impact and focus on Nicola's death that should torment Dante forever and tried to make it as "tragic" as possible but it just made me not care about it lol. Especially since Lili is in a coma, Dante will focus on that instead of the fact that he killed his best friend and his "brother" with his own hands and I think that's much more tragic than what happened to Gil and Lili.

Overall, I like Dante’s character more than Nicola, but I can't really say I cared for the story here either haha. It's nice that there were answers to the questions about the plot such as the Key Maiden etc, but the reveal and everything was more boring than I thought haha, so sadly that was disappointing. Otherwise, I think Dante and Lili were pretty cute. But I think I enjoyed the beginning of their relationship more, mainly because it was nice to see how they both worked hard to try and spend time with each other, get to know what the other likes to support them and other things like that, it felt really sweet. But once they moved into the hotel together, I don't feel like much happened and they just kinda got together because that's how it is? I don't know, guess the later parts didn't live up to the vanilla of the beginning haha, CGs were super pretty as usual though~ I do like Dante as a character though, like he can get a bit frustrating at times for being the moralistic Mafia boss but it suits him, and I guess it's nice to have someone like him who is seemingly cold but probably feels the most "feelings" out of the others haha. I think it's pretty cute how Dante has known about her since he was a child and always thought about her even though it was unnecessary lol. Anyway, tbh, I kinda prefer crazy Roberto than the actual plot lolll.

#piofiore fated memories #piofiore no banshou

[poweredbycoffeeandwine]

A Glance at the Sun

Mass Effect Andromeda Fic - Camille Ryder x LIam Kosta - Pre-relationship  Here is my take on the first Christmas in Andromeda for Camille. Hope you enjoy!

Morale among Initiative staff had been on an upward trend, and nothing could keep that going like a big holiday party. With that in mind Addison had suggested that the station celebrate the Earth holiday of Christmas. The timing was perfect. She hoped that a party would demonstrate the good that could come from supporting the Initiative. Tann however announced the celebration was “In honor of the Human Pathfinder and her recent accomplishments.”

She knew what being manipulated was like, and this was definitely it. Forcing her to be involved to help boost morale put more strain on her, and she was quite frankly tired of “Eight” yanking her around when she had important leads to follow. Camille wanted to call bullshit, and take her crew elsewhere, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. The Salarian’s scheming aside, Ryder was astonished by the decor and lights squirreled away in personal -and even official - Nexus supplies. Overnight the station workers transformed the place to look like a proper winter wonderland. With her team, and so many others, excited with the prospect, she didn’t have it in her to deny them the chance to let loose.

Instead of having the mother of all tantrums, hiding in her room with corney holiday vids, she found herself watching the festivities from Addison’s office. With any luck people would forget she was around, and she could slink back to the Tempest. One hand gripping the glass barrier, she sipped whatever beverage Dutch was calling wine, and attempted to avoid eye contact with everyone. Her plan backfired quickly as a slightly tipsy -and very handsy- Keri T’Vessa found her. Her normally professional friend had obviously drank a little too much, and was a decidedly friendly drunk.

Ryder broke free, ushered her into Hakim’s waiting arms, and rushed to the Operation’s balcony. She was flustered and blushing profusely. She knew Keri would be mortified by the interaction once sober. Smoothing out her dress, she tucked her hair behind her ear and took the opportunity to survey the area. Gil had commandeered a table, and set up an impromptu game of poker. By the look on his face, she believed he was already making a killing. Vetra was not far away, talking shop like always. She smiled to herself, the idea of the Turian taking a night off was too amusing.

Drack held court, pretending to hate the attention he was getting. Nexus Security -especially the humans- pleading for war stories and tips from the grizzled war veteran. She attempted to look casual as she glanced his way. Pretending not to be looking for anyone specific, but knowing full well that if Liam was going to be anywhere, it was near Drack. Despite their squabbles, Drack won him over with his tough love attitude that didn’t fool anyone.

She would never admit to actively keeping tabs on Liam. She toyed with the idea of confessing how she felt about him, but shoved the idea back down time and time again. Getting caught up in his teasing and flirting happened far too often. When she stepped back, silent witness to his interactions with others, she doubted that he saw her as anything special. He had a natural ease and charm, a disarming smile, and no shortage of admirers.  Ryder really had no interest in seeing him be the life of the party, no interest in playing savior of the galaxy while nursing a broken heart. Especially since he had done nothing but show her kindness.  She would never accuse him of leading her on, however, she allowed herself to rush into infatuation faster than she previously assumed possible.

Glutton for punishment that she was, she scanned the room for him, heart plummeting when she didn’t find him. She was being an idiot. Why could she handle fighting Kett, playing diplomat, and general Pathfinding, but she couldn’t talk to a guy? A very goofy guy. Hell, she could do this. She tossed her drink back, downing her mostly full glass in one go, and stopped by the makeshift bar. Shared a pointed look with Anan T’Mari, and reached behind the counter, helping herself to a bottle of alcohol. If she was going to speak to the object of her affections, tell him she was falling madly in love with him, she was going to need more courage than she had at present. Of course, her entire plan hinged on Liam being somewhere she could find him. Should she inquire about him? That wouldn’t be unusual, right? Just looking in on her squadmates, nothing that anyone could take out of context…

Like a sign from the universe, Drack appeared next to her at the bar, ordered something strong, and grumbled. “What’s got you looking like a jumpy little pyjak?”

“I don’t… what do you mean? Nothing going on here, just relaxing, hanging out….chilling.” She cringed internally, did she actually say that aloud?

He laughed, a deep rumble, and gave her a pat on the back, “Is being uncomfortable part of this Christmas of yours? The boy looked a little green, too.”

“Liam’s not feeling well?” she asked, quickly feigning plucking at imaginary lint; fighting to appear nonchalant, but the urge to bolt making her skin itch.

“Mmmhmm,” Drack grunted his assent, pausing to drink, “he got this queasy look about him like a bronto kicked him in the quad.”

“That doesn’t sound good. Maybe someone should go check on him?”

“Probably.”

“So…I should go.”

“Not stopping you, kid.”

“Ok…right. I guess I’ll do that.” Camille grabbed for her pilfered alcohol, two glasses, and walked quickly to the tram, happily leaving the Christmas party behind.

**

Liam stalked to the Tempest. The artificial air of the Nexus only slightly cooler than the interior area hosting the party. The bodies packed together had done nothing to settle his nerves. He would be lying if he hadn’t thought of trying to get Camille alone at some point, hoping to use the crowd in his favor. Maybe casually drop how pretty she looked, even if that didn’t come close to describing what he felt. When she first stepped on stage with Tann, his heart had damn near stopped. She wore a cream tulle skirt that hit her knees, and a burgundy long sleeve sweater. The heels on their own were enough to send him into shock. Sure, Ryder always looked good. She was fighting fit, got dirty on missions, and filled out the armor. But seeing her in a dress, all shapely legs, and hair curling around her neck, had him reeling.

When did everything go all pear shaped? He was standing around, trying to be obvious, in case she was looking to talk to him. Or making sure he would see her first in case some other bugger tried to talk her up. He didn’t count on the damn Asari. Were they snogging and he hadn’t noticed? That didn’t seem right, and the gossip mongers would have caught wind if she was in a relationship. Even struggling to survive, people loved their tabloids.

Inside the ship, he wandered a bit, not quite sure what to do. The quiet of the ship never settled right with him. Thoughts came unbidden, and when he had time to think, he realized how much he missed. Everything he lost, and most of it gone for good. He rolled up his sleeves, and took a good look around. Camille had a fake Christmas tree set up in the hangar bay. She begged them all to help her decorate it. Some weird team building kick she was on. Ryder had been so cute and hopeful, he had volunteered to help, even though everyone else said no.

It took them three hours. The lights had been easy, some multi colored strand she got from the Nexus. The hard part had been coming up with ornaments. They ended up using strange bits of things - cereal box pieces tied with string for Vetra, playing cards for Gil, shiny rocks for Suvi. All random ridiculous items for each member of their mixed up crew. Liam lay on the floor and stuck his head under the tree. He stared up at the lights, squinting his eyes, watching them blur. He had done it often as a kid. Mum had shown him, told him it was her favorite part about the tree. Lights shimmering, ornaments reflecting light, quiet and calm.

“Is there room for one more under that tree?”

He closed his eyes, he knew her voice like the melody of his favorite song, and damn if it wasn’t the best thing he’d heard all night. “Course, always room, Pathfinder.” She had been walking towards him, but he could see her now bare feet pause mid stride. She always hesitated when he used her title. He felt like such an arse at times. Not knowing what made him use the title. She had a name, had asked him to use it once, but it always felt wrong. Like he wasn’t respecting her somehow.

She set her shoes down on the floor, and slid next to him. Shoulder to shoulder, hands nearly touching, hair spilling around her like a halo,  it was certainly the closest they had been out of armor. Liam swore he could feel the heat of her, the scent of roses and jasmine pulling him closer than appropriate. God he was in love, and she didn’t have a clue what effect she had on him. Probably thought he was a replacement brother since hers was out of commission. “This is a great spot for a party, sorry if I’m crashing it,” she finally said breaking the silence that had fallen around them.

“No worries, Camille. I just…that was a bit much for me. Room full of people, guess I’ve gotten used to being on the Tempest out in space.”

She sighed, and rubbed a hand up and down her arm, “Yeah, I get it. Things have been different. Not what I expected at any rate. It’s exhausting being Pathfinder. I wish…”

Liam turned his head to look at her, “Alright?”

She let out a half laugh, “It’s stupid isn’t it. Mom and Dad both gone, I don’t have a clue if Scott will ever wake up, and it’s the first Christmas in Andromeda. I’m not the only person that’s missing family, but I feel so alone.” Her voice cracked and Liam reached over for her hand, holding it tightly in his own. “Everyone wants something from me, and I can’t stop thinking about what I would be doing if we hadn’t left Earth.”

He knew, knew exactly how that felt, and damn if having first hand knowledge didn’t make his heart break for her even more. “Tell me,” he offered voice a little rough with emotion. “What else did you get up to? Bet you were a right piece. Your poor mum having to deal with two of you.”

She laughed, genuinely this time, amber eyes dancing with mischief mingled with unshed tears. “Oh we did all the normal things like rummaging through mom’s closet to find presents early. We still did that, even though we were grown. Sang along terribly while we watched Muppet Christmas Carol on repeat. Mom baked, amazing and delicious things, and always let us lick up the batter.” She went quiet for a moment, then continued in a whisper, “I’m such a jerk.”

“What’s that? I don’t follow.”

“Here I am whining like a brat, and you are probably suffering more.” She rolled out from under the tree, skirt puffing up hiding her legs, making her look like a mermaid in ocean foam. She tugged at his hand, pulling him along with her. She smiled, huge and unguarded, and if he had thought she was beautiful before, he had been very wrong. Seeing her true smile was like stealing a glance at the sun, bright and warm. She set him on fire from the inside out. Picking up a bottle of wine, and waving it in his face she supplied, “I swiped this from the bar, I’m going to drink it all, are you going to make me do it alone?”

“Hell no, Ryder. Pour away.” He watched her face as she concentrated on filling each glass to the brim, tossing him a grin when she achieved her goal. They clinked their glasses together, then Liam leaned over voice soft and said, “I have Muppet Christmas Carol on vid, and I’ll share my comfy couch.”

“This is why you are my favorite man in the universe,” she squealed kissing him soundly on the cheek. He sat dumbstruck as she stood and began to walk out, leaving her shoes behind. She looked over her shoulder, eyebrow raised and asked, “You coming?”

“Wouldn’t miss it, Ryder.” He scrambled up, trying not to spill his drink, hoping there might be something between them after all. He wouldn’t press it tonight, only a sod would take advantage of a woman’s loneliness, but he would tell her soon. He wasn’t fool enough to let her slip away.

#mass effect andromeda fic #liam kosta #female ryder #female ryder x liam kosta #frydam #camille ryder #camille x liam #camille ryder x liam kosta #me:a fic #me:a #my writing #steph did a thing #rydam #mass effect fic #me: fic

[spookadoop]

On My Own (Harry Hook) Part Two

“You swore you’d never hurt me”

“You swore you’d never leave me On My Own”

Part One, Part Two, Part Three

“Tell me this is some kind of sick joke,” You remarked, staring at the two boys in front of you. Jay and Carlos exchanged an uneasy look.

“You’re telling me you took Ben, King Ben of Auradon, to the Isle where most people want nothing more than to see him strung up by his thumbs!?” You exclaimed, suddenly ashamed to be an acquaintance of the two boys. “And you thought that he wouldn’t be kidnapped!?”

“I never said we thought it was a good idea,” Carlos mumbled, looking down at the sharp look given by you.

“And now you want me to come with you on some sort of rescue mission to get him back from Uma of all people?” You quizzed, hoping it all was just some sick joke.

“On the bright side, you can go see your dad!” Jay tried to throw in before making a grimace. “Never mind, that’s not a good thing…”

Carlos worried his lip before his face lit up. “You could rub in their faces how good you’re doing.”

“I’m in.”

Your hands were shaking by the time you reached Pirate’s Bay and laid your eyes on Uma’s ship. The crew still looked as raggedy as you remembered in their war paint. They looked like a kindergartener’s finger-painting project gone wrong.

“Hey guys! They’re here!” A pirate you could easily place as being Gil, the loveable son of Gaston, called out to the crew below him.

You could practically feel your blood pressure rising when Harry’s voice filled your head.

“Welcome!” He called, pushing a terrified Ben to the Plank. Oh how you wanted to knock that grin off his pretty little face. Without thinking your hand came to grasp at the handle of the sword tucked into your belt. Jay gave you a concerned look, as if asking if you were gonna be alright fighting against the pirate if worse came to worse.

You just gave a nod before turning to train your eyes on the blue-haired sea witch, tensing slightly from your spot beside Carlos when she mentioned the killer sharks. Dumb witch, you thought to yourself. Sharks only attacked when provoked or threatened. Auradon taught you that.

Carlos nudged you slightly, motioning with his eyes to the hook-wielding pirate that was slowly but surely making his ways towards Uma and Mal. You may not particularly like the daughter of Maleficent, but you knew how unpredictable Harry could be, so you hopped onto the wooden railing of the docks, crouching down beside Mal with a hand on your sword.

You could tell he was pretending to not notice you, anyone could see that. But you could also see that your presence was unnerving the young brunet from the way he quickly started to fly off the handle. You could only grit your teeth at Uma as she gripped his hook and pulled him away from the two of you. Though, of course the flirt couldn’t without winking and blowing a mocking kiss in your direction.

It seems time didn’t change him at all.

As he made his way back to Ben, you followed his moves, not stopping until you were directly across from the pirate. You didn’t trust him to not shove Ben off the plank for no reason. Frankly, you didn’t trust him to not hook the poor King. The thought alone put you on edge. And from the devilish grin worn by the pirate as he caught your eye, you knew that he knew exactly what was going through your mind.

You could see the grin drop when Mal moved to give Uma the wand, before being stopped by the king. You could practically smell the smoke coming from the use his rarely-operated brain. Either he was dumbfounded that his captain’s plan actually worked… or he knew something was off, he knew there was no way Mal would give up the wand that easily.

You really hoped it was the first option.

You were relieved when he dropped the look, replaced by a grin at Ben trying to bargain with Uma. Maybe he was dumber than he looked. You knew it was a lie, but the thought made you feel better about your breakup all those months ago. Because, as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you’re a petty ex.

Panic began to set in once Uma demanded Mal prove the wand worked. You guys were screwed. But, like usual, Mal prevailed, using Dude-the-now-talking-dog to fake a spell.

“Give me the wand!” Uma demanded seconds later, holding her hand out. Was she always this demanding?

“Give me Ben!” Mal shot back. Uma gave her a grin before calling Harry over. Once again, you followed his movements to be by Mal’s side. You may not have been the strongest, but you knew Harry’s weak spots if Uma were to try and trick you.

You gave a slight laugh as you heard Gil inform Ben about how Gaston wishes he had finished off Ben’s dad when he had a chance. You knew it was true as it was the only thing Gaston ever spoke about. Well, that and Belle. And how incredibly thick his neck is…..You made sure to not come across him often.

Harry pushed Ben to the ground in front of Mal before drawing his sword, you made sure to do the same. You raised your gaze to meet his when he spoke.

“Aw, what’s the matter? Don’t ya trust me, lass?” He asked softly, a mocking pout forming on his face. But, it didn’t match the wickedness in his eyes.

“Cut him loose, Harry,” Uma instructed, eyes trained on Mal and the wand. Harry gave a huff, “I never get to have any fun.”

“Yeah, Harry, listen to your Master,” You remarked, smirking at the evil glare you received in return. Like you said before, you’re a petty ex.

Mal pulled Ben away from the two pirates as Uma rushed to the deck of her ship. Harry lingered, eyes not leaving yours before slowly following his Captain. You had to help Mal pull Ben away from the ship. He wasn’t the brightest King if he didn’t see through the plan. You suddenly worried if your life was in the right hands if he couldn’t tell it was a fake wand.

Uma quickly snapped the plastic wand in two upon realizing it was a fake. And then all hell broke loose. Smoke bombs and pirates alike were flying through the air as you suddenly regretted not practicing sword fighting since you left the Isle.

“Please don’t let me get my hand cut off. I don’t wanna look like Harry’s dad,” you whined before joining in on the fight.

Your eyes widened as you spotted Harry jumping into the water after his father’s hook. Though, you didn’t miss the opportunity to snatch his hat up from the dock. You placed it on your head with a smirk, “Mine now!”

Turning around and quickly ducking, you narrowly avoided getting your head cut off by an overly salty pirate. Pausing to giggle quickly at your own joke, you swiped the sword out of his hand, followed by a swift kick to the crotch that knocked him onto his knees. “Honestly, does she not train you guys at all? It’s almost sad,” You tsked, pushing him off the dock and into the water.

You cussed under your breath when you noticed Ben going against Harry, but then paused. Harry Hook, the son of a pirate, whom would try to behead anyone that dared look at his sisters wrong, was undoubtedly… getting his ass handed to him by a King that had never been in an actual sword fight in his life, literally with one hand behind his back. And it. Was. Hilarious.

“Y/N, come on!” Carlos called out, grabbing your wrist and pulling you to the tunnel after Evie threw a smoke bomb right in front of the pirates.

Pausing by the disoriented son of Hook, you placed his hat on top of his head before running to join the others. You spared the drenched pirate one last glance before disappearing into the tunnel.

Leaving him alone. Again.

“I know he’s on your mind, Y/N,” the voice of the daughter of Mulan filled your ears as you stared over the side of the boat to the Isle.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lonnie,” You replied quietly, even though you both knew it was a lie. You knew exactly who she was talking about.

“I’m sure Harry did miss you. He just couldn’t show it with that Uma girl there,” She soothed, rubbing your back gently. You shook your head, turning to lean your back against the rails. she had just been informed on the situation on the ride from Auradon to the Isle, when you had to explain it was the Captain of your ex boyfriend that had taken the king hostage.

“That’s the problem. Even when we were together he was always Uma this, Uma that, Uma- Uma!?”

You failed to hide your surprise (and rage) at seeing the sea witch as she made her way down the stairs to where King Ben stood. You and Lonnie shared a look before rushing over to Mal’s side. You were no expert on relationships- but even you knew that you definitely did not bring your girlfriend’s worst enemy on a date to a dance you’re supposed to be with your girlfriend at.

And the worst thing was, as she stood before you, dressed in a beautiful gown that matched the blue of her hair you could see exactly why Harry would want her instead of you.

“Harry, the cotillion’s on!” The blonde boy yelled to his friend, whom was busy brooding by the window of Ursula’s fish and Chips. Gil sighed, walking over to the brunet. “Staring at Auradon won’t make you any closer to her, you know. But you can see her on TV.”

The pirate stared at him silently before walking to the table in front of the television. He could feel tears well up in his eyes at the sight of you. He missed you a lot, and it took all of his willpower to not show it when you came to the ship. But, he was scared you would try to stay if you knew how pitiful he was without you. He loved you, and there was no doubt about that. But he couldn’t give you everything you deserved if you came back to the Isle. He wanted you to be happy, even if it meant being away from him.

He took a shaky breath, wiping his eyes.

“You look beautiful, lass.”

A few days after the Cotillion Disaster, you were called into the King’s office. From what the letter you received said (though you didn’t see why he just didn’t tell you in one of your many classes together) it was urgent business, not to be discussed with anyone else. You never thought a two minute conversation could have such an impact on your way of breathing.

“After seeing how harsh the conditions are on the Isle, I have decided to bring a few more kids to Auradon,” Ben stated, standing up from his seat behind his desk.

You raised an eyebrow, watching him carefully, “And what does that have to do with me?” You asked.

Ben cleared his throat, awkwardly coming to stand in front of you. This can’t be good.

“Y/N, there’s no easy way to say this after you risked your life to rescue me from the Isle so I’m just going to say it,” He began, arm sliding around your shoulders to give you a friendly, and suspicious, squeeze.

“Harry Hook is coming to Auradon.”

A/N: So, what do you guys think? Is it good enough to have a part three?

#Descendants 2 #descendants mal #uma descendants #uma daughter of ursula #evie descendants #descendants evie #mal descendants #Carlos De Vil #descendants jay #jay descendants #Harry Hook x reader #Harry Hook imagine #On My Own

[iamanemotionaltimebomb]

since I’m still fairly confident we are eventually getting a DLC or expansion or sequel to Andromeda, I really hope for the following

More content with your twin because i loved my useless baby brother who overslept most of the drama

Have them be my mission control person, wheeze and snicker at all my stupid ass and snarky comments

Something to do with Dad or Mum Ryder because I refuse to believe Dad Ryder is dead because they were SO VAGUE ABOUT IT WHEN I ASKED ABOUT IT also Mum Ryder seems cool

More stuff involving SAM’s personality because I do love my little AI brother

Stuff about the ‘benefactor’ because I read the books and the mission in Andromeda made me like MORE PLEASE

More subtle nods at the Reapers and what happened 600 years ago in the Milky Way just because it makes me make a lot of noise

bisexual Tiran because I love him almost as much as I love Garrus and they gave me Garrus when we asked for him so there’s no excuse not to give us Tiran

bisexual Kallo because I love my pilot and am sad he’s not at least filtrable, like shoot me down, it’s okay, just let me tell you I love you

bisexual male quarian (seriously he’s been on my wishlist since ME2 and Kal’Reegar)

also a bisexual female drell if possible

or another male drell who is also bisexual

more content for the following romances that got shafted: Gil, Suvi, Vetra, Reyes

more casual romance options, and I mean real casual romances, like one night stands kind of deal, not these weird cheating style romances we got in the actual game

more flirt options with people who can’t necessarily be romanced just because I like telling people I think they’re amazing and dateable

More outposts 

actually getting to explore Meridian 

Getting to go back to Habitat 7 / Ryder-1

Finding a homeworld for the turians/quarians because they don’t have a dextro friendly planet and it’s causing me a lot of anxiety

Helping the other pathfinders find a homeworld because so far I feel like Ryder is the only one doing anything TBH

#tiran kandros #mass effect andromeda #mass effect #kallo jath #vetra nyx #gil #gil brodie #suvi #suvi anwar #reyes vidal

[yoyoplisetsky]

I was sick for like half of this week which probably explains why this list is so long? Unfortunately didn’t write much, bc a lot of what i’m doing is behind the scenes stuff with no visible results rn (working on my shitbang fic, working on a few things that I haven’t finished yet). However, I read like 20+ super amazing fics??? As always, pls rec me any you’ve written/enjoyed, because I want to read them so much!! 

What I Read This Week (7/9-7/16)

I Don’t Know ‘Bout Me but I Know About You - ouroboros - @ouroborosbites - Set at the GPF a year-ish pre-canon. JJ, having a sexuality crisis, propositions Victor, who, having not found his direction through Yuuri yet, is enough of a mess to accept. (My review: JJ/Viktor? And I enjoyed it? No, seriously, surprisingly good!!)

Let Me Sail Across the Sea for there is Never One Who Loved You More Than Me - tothebatcave53 - @tothebatcave53 - Victor has always loved the ocean, he is drawn to it's beauty and it's power. He sets out, a simple day in a simple boat with a simple desire to just exist in peace out in the ocean. When Victor wakes it is to the turmoil of the waves, desperate to sink him and his tiny boat into it's murky depths. It is only the most beautiful hallucination that keeps Victor sane in what he assumes are his last moments. (My review: AHHHH guys i always need mermaid aus i’m fricken screaming this one is so a+ everyone read it)

i’m someone you maybe might love - xylophones - @xyloophones -  Viktor sighs. “It’s nothing. It’s just––you never look at me like this.” / “How am I looking at you?” / “Like I’m someone special. Like I’m someone you might love.” / Yuuri frowns. “You are someone I love.” / Viktor shakes his head and laughs, just on this side of bitter. “Not like that, Yuuri.” / (Or: Viktor is not as observant as he thinks he is.) (My review: this is a super precious high school au that i would suggest to everyone because it’s so many amazing tropes wrapped up in one fic)

come with me and escape - La_Temperanza - @teekettle - Viktor meets a hypnotizing stranger dancing in the club and, well, things just naturally progress from there. (My review: hooooo boy nsfw viktuuri week is a Treat. yes. i love this. this is a good trope)

For Your Eyes Only - opalish - tumblr unknown (pls tell me if you know?) - Yuuri once told Victor that Phichit was the only foreign skater he considered a friend. Yuuri lied. He's been Seung-gil's dirty little secret for well over a year. (My review: O H MY GOD so that art of seunggil and yuuri being friends is one of my favorites so i’m ??? so glad someone acted on it)

black box (Ch. 1) - SKnight - @sephknight​ - The entire world is thrown into madness when all the best actors team up for a new TV show about... skating? Doesn't matter, all the fans know is that this means roughly 273.15% more ice cube jokes, the potential resurrection of some dead memes, and 9999% more Victuuri to scream about and die from. The fans have been thirsty for more Katsuki-Nikiforov co-starred content since 2011, and this oncoming show about ice could just be the thing to quench that thirst. ...Oh god, the bad jokes are already starting. (My review: look we all know i have a Thing for fics with fake social media and this one is ALL fake social media so i’m pumped to see more)

third time lucky - katsukiy - @yuriplisetsk​ - This year, for Tanabata, Viktor decided to wish for something a little different. (My review: not even double but Triple yuuri!!! oh god we all know here that i have a Thing for multiples, but this is so good)

Dinner For Two - Yuripaws - @yuripaws​  - Viktor dreams of two delicious bowls of katsudon only to find that he isn't invited to dinner. But he is invited to the show. (My review: MORE. DOUBLE. YUURI. guys i’ll never be sick of this trope and this one is so a+ with our desperate viktor mmm yes)

love’s not a competition (but i’m winning) (Ch. 1) - LittleLostStar, spookyfoot - @iwritevictuuri​, @katsukiyuuristrophyhusband​ - Victor Nikiforov is the leader of the best burlesque revue in the city, and well on his way to achieving his dream goal of a Upper-Level Lesser Kardashian-level stardom, complete with his own reality TV show. So when rival burlesque dancer Yuuri Katsuki scoops Victor's theme night and refuses to back down (or fire those hips that will not quit), it doesn't take long before war is declared—a tense and glittery battle featuring anarchic stagehands, orange light gels, fake eyelashes...and some occasional hate-sex that may not be hate-sex at all. (My review: give me more glitter or give me death! you can expect nothing else from spooky and star than just the absolute best and that’s this.)

Here Comes The Sun - henrywinter (bakkhant) - @bakkhanalia​ - Written for YOI Catfish Prompt Party 2017, for the prompt ‘apocalypse au with it being their last day on earth!’. This...probably isn't what you wanted. (My review: ahh such a cool au!! i love the take on the prompt they had and it was so well written :))

Partner, Let Me Upgrade You (Series - Parts 1-4, Ch. 1-6 (Part 1), Ch. 1-2 (Part 3) - cuttlemefish - @cuttlemefishwrites​ - Z’s Popstar AU (My review: z, i was going to rec all of these individually but then my rec list would hvae gone on for like 50 years. but asfkl; i finally got around to reading it and i’m dying for my Extra sons)

Baby, I’m Preying on You Tonight (Ch. 8) - cuttlemefish - @cuttlemefishwrites​ - Yuuri and Phichit registered and named the pet shop when they were drunk. They didn’t exactly expect it to become the most popular pet shop in Seattle. (It was only supposed to be a front to fund Phichit’s (undercover) animal rescue missions.) Enter Viktor Nikiforov, the man with the pink Cadillac and the giant brown poodle (that's stolen Yuuri's heart), and Yuuri might have lost his mind, because apparently he keeps flirting with a client – and he never even notices. (My review: the jjs will never cease to slay me. viktor and chris especially cute in this chapter)

patellofemoral pain syndrome (Ch. 3) - seventhstar - @pencilwalla​ - It’s just…does Viktor not get bored with doing it the same way every night? Doesn’t he want to spice things up? Is Yuuri being unreasonable? He’s pretty sure that if Viktor told him his performance in bed was unsatisfying his soul would flee his body for a more merciful plane of existence, but…Viktor is thicker-skinned than he is. And so here they are. Viktor’s bed is wide and soft, and Yuuri is lying there with wet hair and ratty boxers while Viktor absently trails kisses over his shoulder. It’s nice. It’s soft. It’s good. Viktor’s headboard is enormous and Yuuri keeps thinking about Viktor’s wrists bound to it, black rope over white skin. Fuck. He should say something. (My review: mmm arthritis porn except nuri didn’t give me porn this chapter)

conjecture - seventhstar - @pencilwalla​ - The first is that he and his new husband are now alone, and will continue to be alone until they reach Yu-topia. Yuuri has never been gregarious, and finds it difficult to make prolonged conversation with strangers at parties; he dreads having to speak to Viktor for so many hours. If his aunt’s description of him is accurate, the only thing they have in common is a love for money, and that is hardly wedding night conversation. The second is that when Yuuri finally looks at Viktor, rather than looking anywhere but directly at him as he has been, he realizes that Viktor is… (My review: have i mentioned that i love this series? i have, but.... it’s just,,, so good.)

By Anointment Only - La_Temperanza - @teekettle​ - He starts with the feet.It makes the most sense. After all, a figure skater’s greatest commodity is often their feet, taking the brunt of the damage required to hone their craft. He knows whatever tender loving care he gives now isn't enough to erase years of self-inflicted abuse, not in a single session. But it doesn't mean he's not going to at least try.So, Viktor starts with the feet. But the thing is, he rarely gets much further than that. (My review: FOOT FETISH i hate feet and this story was still a+)

The Katsulanont Guide to Surviving College (Rice Cooker Required) - xylophones - @xyloophones - It’s Phichit’s fault. It’s always Phichit’s fault. (Or: A friendship told through three hamsters, a rice cooker, and the resurrected trade-and-barter system.) (My review: i think i laughed like 3/4 of this story it’s just,,, so in character for them and ridiculous)

Colored Pencils and Markers - RainyTea - @rainyteawrites - Viktor finds Yuuri’s poster collection, but there’s another surprise in there too. (My review: yuuri’s poster collection with a twist ;) ;) loved it)

Wanted: Skating Lessons - slightlied - @forovnix​ - Wanted: Skating Lessons / Hi. I am Victor and I need to learn how to skate before Saturday. My parents have been paying for me to get skating lessons every week for the last fifteen years but I never actually attended any of the lessons and I spent the money on marble busts instead. Now they want me to perform to ‘Stammi Vicino’ at their wedding anniversary on Saturday. / If you can teach me, be here at Ice Castle tomorrow at 7:27am with an extra pair of skates. I am a fast learner (well, at least my dog Makkachin is–it took me only two weeks to teach him how to roll over) so I am pretty sure I will pick it up quickly. In return, I can teach you how to say some pick-up lines in Russian or tell you some facts about my love life. Whichever you prefer. Not both, though. / Yours sincerely,  / Victor / PS. I’m a size 8 --- Or, Yuuri answers an ad he sees on Ice Castle's community board. (My review: THIS WAS PRECIOUS asdfjkl i loved it so much and i know it’s been around for a while but i just found it and like,,, i’m glad i did)

Meet Your Idol! - RoseusJaeger - @roseus-jaeger​ - Ryuugazaki Rei has been a fan of Katsuki Yuuri since he was in grade school, admiring his beauty and grace on the ice. It's Katsuki's last season on the ice before his marriage to Victor Nikiforov and Rei would do anything for an autograph before his official retirement... or at least he thought until his boyfriend, Nagisa Hazuki, actually plots to get him an autograph at the NHK Cup. (My review: what you probably sort of know about me is that i love free! so this was a great read and roseus did so well with all of the character and i loved it)

(Let’s Get Married) At First Sight - cuttlemefish - @cuttlemefishwrites​ - Yuuri is just your average medical resident trying to survive an emergency room rotation at a large, city hospital, when a perfectly gorgeous stranger interrupts his after-work coffee break with the assumption that Yuuri is his blind date. What’s Yuuri to do? – Pretend he’s definitely on a blind date, too! Or, the "I know you're on a blind date and I'm not the right guy, but it's been a while and now I don't know how to tell you that you sat at the wrong table. Call me?" AU. (My review: this is so super precious asfdsljlk i love that yuuri just went for it instead of correcting him)

He Just Up and Ran Away (So I’m Never Going Back) (Ch. 1-2) - cuttlemefish - @cuttlemefishwrites - The back of the silver card reads Fantasies by Lilia, and Viktor lets his thumb brush over it with intense scrutiny. The name on the front winks at him with the glint of danger: Alex. “Oh, Yuuri, are you cheating on me?” Viktor whispers to himself, crumbling on the bed with the onslaught of a panic attack. Yuuri is Viktor’s everything; the first boyfriend he’s had in almost a decade, after years spent too busy lost between circuitry and code. But then he notices that there’s a stack of similar looking cards that read Celeste, Adrian, Robert, Michael, and Yuuri. All of them read Fantasies by Lilia. Or, welcome to the story in which Viktor discovers his boyfriend Yuuri is a high-class escort who takes on different identities and lives for different clients, including Viktor, who thought he was saving a stripper by putting a ring on his finger. (My review: i hvae read like maybe 1 escort au in this fandom bc i’m always very,,, eh about it but i’ll try anything z does nad it’s??? so good)

Katsuki’s Pet Needs (Ch. 1) - nerdlife4eva - @n3rdlif343va - Yuuri Katsuki owns a small pet store in a little town on the coast. He loves running his own business, and especially loves Sundays when his best friend, Phichit, runs adoption events for his animal rescue organization in his store. Victor Nikiforov has always wanted a dog, excitedly attending the scheduled pet adoption hoping to find his first furever friend. Another universe where these two find each other, this time with a little help from the brown fluff of Makkachin herself. (My review: THIS IS VERY PRECIOUS. if you want shameless fluff, read this!!)

Hunter of Eros (Ch. 4-5) - LalodyBear - @lalody - Lord Eros is perhaps the oldest of all living vampires and a legend among hunters. For thousands of years no-one has been able to slay him and stop his evil reign. Victor Nikiforov is the greatest hunter to have ever lived. ~ After seemingly endless sightings of newborn vampires appearing across Japan, Yakov's hunters are sent to put a stop to it. During a hunt, Victor Nikiforov has his first ever innocent witness to a slaying - Yuuri Katsuki, an utterly adorable local. After being cornered into staying with the group of Russian hunters, Yuuri just prays Victor doesn't find out his secret and slay him in his sleep. (My review: ahh it’s been so long since this updated, and i’m so glad i’m patient because i love this au so much. i don’t even care it took so long like ?? take that long always if you’re gonna give me quality content like that (which i’m sure you will))

What I Wrote This Week (7/9-7/16) (nothing on ao3, only tumblr this week)

the latin fic (I’m a shameless classics major)

the headcanon posts (Cary’s excuse to write crack fics while disguising them as headcanons)

the gum fic (#MoreExtraThanExtra)

#yoi fic rec #yoi fic #yuri on ice #fic rec #thishasbeencary #my fic