#i am scarex

[pixiecaps]

I am. Si fucking scarex.

#pix asks aaaa

[sutille]

this is just venting because i don't wanna burden people who know me irl with my stuff. i just need to put it out there because i haven't had therapy for a month and it is really hard to talk to anyone and it is easier to post it somewhere that few people will see.

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i am so overwhelmed by the whole college thing. i want to go and study abroad because the education in my country isn't really the best. but every entrance requirements i have seen include this ib or gce or certain grades certificates and i just. i don't have that. i haven't even graduated yet but i think my graduate certificate is obsolete compared to the certificates on every other country that's not in latinamerica.

i don't want to study here in my country. i want to help and save lives and not be as useless as i am. and i know that i could study the basics or the six year career and then specialise in the country i want, but i am terrified of the future. i do not think i will live past my twenty-one or two years and i don't think i even want to.

I've been trying so fucking hard to keep myself alive but it just keeps gettinf harder and harder, not because of what happens in my life, but becase of what is happening with the world. i acknowledge that i ignore a lot. i ignore so fucking much of what is going on with pretty much everything because i am scared. i am scared that everything i do will be useless and i will help no one because the world is just so so fucked up.

i want to study abroad because i want to probably die somewhere i like. somewhere my family and friends won't see me just, stop taking care of myself. somewhere i can die alone and hopefully leave having helped people. i just. i am so scared of everything. and i know it's okay to be scarex, but i am such a coward and i don't think i deserve to still be bere when there are so many people that suffer and don't give up.

i have it good. i have it so so so fucking good and i still am depressed and anxious and suicidal mkst of the time. my trauma does not excuse my weak behaviour and j judt. i don't want this. i don't think i want myself to live a long time and that is fucked up but i havd come to terms with that since i was eleven. how messed up do i have to be? how brojen and stupid and useless do i havr to be to be writing this on tumblr? i am just another random person who doesn't help, but just makes things worse and i just. i know i should talk. to my friends or my mom or therapist. but they care.

here on the internet i can be just another depressing random person whose words will be forgotten in seconds. i don't harm anyone because no one here really knows me and they woukd be okay if i died. they wouldn't even think i was dead. but irl they will care. they will try to fix me just like they have tried for five years. they have out up with my bullshit for too much time. to them i am now happy and healthy. i don't want to be the reason why they are sad and worried. i can't do that. i don't want to do that. so yeah. just. sorry.

[toytulini]

A little personal vent/grudge

Ngl i am starting to hare the post thats like "this discourse is only on tumblr!!!" Like?? No

Just bc currently spaces accept us, doesnt mean its Only On Tumblr imo

Bc those ppl on tumblr are Real Ppl? They exist. Outside tumblr. They might be in the spaces. They might be quiet abt their thoughts on us so far but. How long?? Who knows but just bc theyre only vocal abt it on tumblr doesnt mean they arent out their with those fuckin views :)

This isnt meant to be...fear mongering or an outlook on things rly i guess im just...paranoid and v distrustful atm but yeah

#toy txt post #d.0n't r3b/0g pls #vent #like they dont just stop existing online they are out there being a real life person #and i?? am fucking scarex of them #and frankly the fact that they might not be vocal abt their views irl i give no sympathy to #bc to me its the same fuckin shit as young conservatives thinkin theyre actually #persecuted and discriminated against for being a fuckin repu.blican at a 'liberal college' #and they think theyre fuckin counterculture #no #aphobes who are quiet abt being aphobes irl are no different than transphobes or biphobes #or conservatives irl who whine abt 'pc culture' #imo #im fuckin scared of all of em #:) #tfw ur scared to try to meet ppl and make friends lowkey bc what if i end up finding #fuckin transphobes and aphobes #i dont want this #shits fuckin scary im jus sayin #god #anyway #like if u read pls

[windows98-fr]

i have a job intervirw tomorrow and im scared shitless like genuinely scarex i am going go Pass Out but im absolutely bonked rn so im feeeling pretty good

do yall have any tips for a young lad w anxiety n also whats goin on in ur life?? how are things

edit to say this is my first one EVER n i am 19. Terrifying

#im am just vibin #drug tw #im very high r. #n #share a dragon maybe? #its your world #drug mention #its small but idk whos averse n how much ya mnow #not fr

[skxlzeli]

There's currently a huge storm and I'm so scared I wish someone could hold me right now

#i am SCARED #i cant sleep #it's so heavy #idk how to explain #but im scarex

[noratm]

To The Scalies And Furries

I love animals, NOT sexually. I had always been ace/asexual and the thought that some... In a fandom I loved as a kid, Would even think of fucking their own cats.

MY ISSUE WITH THE FURRY FANDOM:

I was about 12 when I was finally able to join a fanbase I always wanted to. I did not expect grooming from older teens to adults so fast, More so over my biological sex.

It went from rps at the age of 13, Ignoring that I have told several account users on flipnote to deviantart that I didn't like nsfw content.

By the age of 14, Users started to request boobs on my sona and all female ocs of mine. Mostly my fursona at the time. For male ocs they requested nudes and dicks.

At this age as well, People in the fandom asked for irl nudes and kept happening until recently.

I ended up hating the furry fandom.

Since the fandom, I been scared if most fandoms. I wanted to be part of both scalie and furry but I am scarex the scalie will just be the same.... Full of pedophiles and people that just want to fuck me.

So I will not be apart of either and make my ocs what I want. I don't care how much you all think I am a scalie or furry, I will not be part of a group of pedophile, brain damaged, selfish humanity.

This will be on my Instagram and Facebook as well as I want to make it clearer than ever.

#furry #scalie #fandom #im serious #serious issue

[immajusuhh-blog]

Omg imma cry even more My freavk adorable ass baby sis natalie came to hug me and k ew tht i was scarex omg am having anxiety

#gonna #cry #im #so #scared

[alphapapyrus]

I HAVE NOT BEEN ON THIS ACCOUNT IN A WHILE. I'D APOLOGIZE BUT I'M NOT SORRY FOR HAVING A LIFE. I AM ONLY DOING THIS TO MAKE MY FANS HAPPY AS IT SEEMS THEY ARE ALL TOO SCAREX TO TALK FACE TO FACE WITH THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS.

#[undernet] #underfell papyrus #underfell

[callistoscurse]

this isnt feelig real i think im falling

#i feel weird this is weird what am i #i am scarex