#i couldnt get the turns to time right

[ninjasmudge]

BIRFDAY GIFT FOR @animemoonprincess​ based on his hc that maq is really bad at horror

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #mk #lmk sun wukong #sun wukong #lmk macaque #qi xiaotian #long xiaojiao #lmk mei #lmk mk #six eared macaque #man it was so late idk what happened it took AGES and idk why #probs cause i had to keep redrawing bits of the bkgd #and i couldnt get the expressions right but watever i love how it turned out #lupin hc spark so much joy honeslty like frfrfr #ANYWAY I LOVE U SM SOL MWAMWAMWA #LIKE MAN SOMETIMES I SEE A SOL HC OR BIT OF WRITING FROM A WHILE AGO AND EVERY TIME IM LIKE HOT DAMN RGSDDRSTHSHHGGH #i had this saved for sooooo long as a sketch #my art #mk art

[cassandragemini]

just realized that i dont think ive posted this old art of misha's parents erdenekhishig and buyanzaya when they were in their 20s

ft a bonus sketch of erdenekhishig holding daddys little creature + old doodles of buyanzaya holding their little freak of nature

#i drew these faces 2 years apart and you can kinda tell #cause i reused buyanzayas design from an old oc. who was in turn originally colorpicked from a image of misha since misha was a unused oc #at the time. its all full circle #my art #oc art #ocposting #anyway buyanzaya is wearing gloves in that pic cause i couldnt get the fingers right #doodles

[aria0fgold]

So that's... the power of Luocha e1... I get it now. I am now a lil less salty from losing my 75/25.

#aria rants #was doing the new world 9 of su without geppie (very nervously too cuz im not used to not having a shielder) #but am like. well i have luocha e2 so maaaaaybe itll be fine? still nervous cuz the last boss of world 9 is the smth unto death #and i just KNOW im gonna have a hard time with that thing. well... turns out i didnt... luocha e1 is so good actually #i had ratio. himeko. bronya (oh yea and her lc i got FROM THE 75/25 LOST. i think that contributed too actually). and luocha #my ratio is decently built but still weaker than my argenti thats so far my strongest in su (esp g&g with the erudition path) #took elation path. got to the last boss with pretty okay blessings. it didnt stand a chance... it didnt actually get much of a turn... #first time i got to do that with an su boss ngl! i never got to kill em fast enough but i managed now! yippee!!! maybe losing that #75/25 wasnt so bad after all. my bronya is stronger with her buffs (i dont... i dont have any other buffer than her...) and my #luocha can finally give buffs AND shield! my team is looking pretty good. (yea since my luck is bad i couldnt get ruan mei and sparkle) #i think ratio's banner was during ruan mei's banner? and i had to get his lc (i needed him to be strong for imaginary dps) #and i couldnt try for sparkle much cuz i was planning on going for aven (which as you can see. my plans went terribly with luocha rerun) #im still gonna try for aven cuz i need another shielder than geppie and aven's kit seems to be the right fit for my ratio #back to the saving board...... hsr rng i hate you but also i cant hate you enough cuz tbf my team DID get stronger a bit...

[coffee-bat]

i haven't been having the best time lately

#sorry vent incoming in tags. you dont have to read you really can skip this #/so the day before yesterday i had a major argument with mom. about something incredibly small but she got super mad at me (basically i #suggested she might have made a mistake while cleaning the oven bc when i turned it on i smelled and felt burning chemicals. like- #-teary eyes and sneezing i wasn't imagining it. and she got super mad and started yelling) #for the whole afternoon it was either silent treatment or yelling abt how what i said is 'unforgivable' #and ofc rejecting apologies and attempts to calm the situation down bc 'this isn't something you can just fix with an apology' #i literally just asked if she's sure everything went right with the oven cleaning. bc it was done in a rush. #so anyway at 10pm i HAD to get the situation to a manageable level bc i was starving and she was in the living room (we have an open kitchen #) so if i wanted to get sth to eat i'd have to confront her. so screaming match ensued again with me apologizing and explaining my point - #and her yelling over me. it went on for 40 minutes. finally after me apologizing like 70 times she calmed down but said that 'what i did is- #-unacceaptable and she does not give permission for it to happen again'. i went to sleep without getting anything to eat of course. #and this fucked me up. bc i really thought we were doing better. i really thought our relationship would only get better now esp after we - #-bonded on vacation. but turns out not. and shes still lowkey mad. #THEN yesterday im studying for a zoology exam and mention it on the phone with her #she goes 'who do you have zoology for'. i respond with the name of the teacher. confused. #'professor (x) died on friday.' #?????????? #'it's not published anywhere yet so yeah YOU have to tell your class' #i had a panic attack legit. i threw up from stress. i couldnt do it. first off bc of shock and secondly bc how am i supposed tojust jump #into group chat like 'oh hey btw professor died' #thankfully the info was posted officially by uni at 10pm. so i didnt have to do it. but mom kept pressing me to the whole day #i was nauseaous all of yesterday bc of it. i couldnt manage to study anymore after the shock. sure he was older but he was so energetic and #seemed healthy. i wouldnt have expected it it was just. a huge shock. im still not over it #like you cant know someone for half a year then not be shaken when they suddenly die yknow. and mom is lowkey making fun of me like #'what were you emotionally attached??? he wasnt anyone close' #no he wasnt but im still shaken. and being mocked is only making it worse. as is having to keep studying for his subject for the next few- #-days. #sorry ok vent over theres just. a lot happening for me and im struggling i needed to let it out ig. theres just too much at once #vent #death mention

[zevrans]

i finally finished bg3 2 nights ago ya'll 😭🥺

#i specifically looked up when i made a post about that my pc can run bg3 it was 2 months ago damn!! #it took me so long with trying to do every sidequest and i still managed to miss a lot of stuff 😳 #i skipped a couple of act 3 quests too i skipped dribbles that baldur mouth gazette one and i think some others too #because i couldnt be bothered anymore trying to finish it faster 😂😭 #and i still misssed stuff in act 1 🤡 for example that shovel thingie or what's it called 😭 #anyways the ending overall i liked but there's almost no companion endings or what?? #i felt like we deserved a cutscene for each companion and an extended for romanced one?? #and i didnt even get to see karlach last time 🥺 it just said that her time is short and it skipped to astarion future plans scene 😭 #i didnt want my tav turn illithid so i turned orpheus although ididnt want that for him too but oh well 😫 #still don't understand why emperor straight up did 360 degree turn and joined the absolute even before i freed orpheus #like he didnt consider even for a sec orpheus would provide shield for him even tho he later agreed emp was right #about this whole thing needing and illithid i mean #anyways im considering doibg gale romance run but now i need mods and to decide if i replay from start #or from my act 2 save in moonrise where if i reject astarion 🙈 my gale romance activates??

[noeliandroid]

Catshuma!!

Little birthday treat i made for myself :3 (unfortunately, Kero couldnt be on the picture, as they are the one taking it)

#mashuma #ratatan #cat #kitty #lil kitten #love mashuma <3 <3 #nyandola #probably the only time so far i drew them correctly lol #kamonelo #even if they are just in the background its the first time i get them right grahhhh #ill use that as a reference for the next time i draw them :p #uhhh what else #oh yeah #sleepover #i like to think they are in a sleepover :)) #also if you couldnt tell #its like they are trying make up but instead of make up they just turned mashuma into a cat idk i just think thats cool #maybe ill do like a little doodle of kero's reaction

[navramanan]

I feel so horrible

#last evening i spilled tea it was obv an accident but i should have been more careful it was through a too careless action #some spilled on the book i got from the library. i thought that was the worst part #a bit spilled on my laptop. very little. while i was busy with the book my mom wiped my laptop #my brother immediately turned it off & told me to keep it upside down overnight #so i put it upside down. for hours. at least 4. before that i picked it up to look i could still see the water #but my laptop reacted to me picking it up & showed the battery percentage on the screen like it does #i didnt do anything else and put it back upside down. so again later i picked it up to check #it look dry. this time it didnt react to my ''touch'' to me picking it up #i didnt think anything. i wanted to do something on my laptop and tried powering it on. idk if that was a mistake or not #but it didnt react. the night is over it's almost noon it's still not turning on. it's been in rice the whole night #but honestly i dont even know if that actually helps. i know it's a popular method but idk #my brother works in IT he knows computers he said he'd unscrew & remove the storage disk to be safe #and to call someone they know who repairs computers. neither of these things happened yet bc we dont have the right screw #my brother i believe asked the neighbor #i'm not really hopeful. i've slept 4 hours last night bc i was so worried i couldnt sleep #went to sleep at 3 woke up at 7 couldnt sleep again #i said i'm not hopeful but one thing about me i never think bad things like this could happen to me so there's always this #''it's not real this isnt happening'' in me. i wish it wasnt bc if it turns out to be real it devastates me #i feel i get swayed so easily by things going wrong. it just immobilizes me #it happened when my luggage got lost. i was completely scatter brained fully gone when it happened #i was staying at my aunt's place. she poked fun at me for how much it affected me. said i have euros i could raplace my clothes #i spent four days this way. i was there to see a friend. i felt i was robbed from truly having a good time. it was our first time meeting #i cried every single day. called the airport lost & found every single day. this one thing occupied my whole being #i got my luggage back but what i'm getting at is for one i actually got it back so it wasnt a real bad thing that happened. it got fixed #and two it just had me in its clutches this one incident. so now my laptop wont turn on i cant think of anything else #cant do anything else. and although it looks real and i DONT want to be hopeful so i can let go and not be devastated when i find out #it's irreparable. idk where i'm getting at with this. except idk i really really really want it to work again #nesi rants

[this-doesnt-endd]

I still find it kinda wild that after 1 psych eval they immediently put me on antipsychotics

#i mean it was in the right direction but not the right answer #we good now tho we on the two in one epilepsy mood stabalizers ayye #i will say tho i got put on keppra for my seizures and i cant imagine being on that long term #if i stayed on it any longer than i did i prolly woulda been in the er simply cause i couldnt eat and was near passing out at every moment #but if i didnt have that i woulda been in jail #i was so fucking mad and angry all the time i thankfully was able to keep it in but oh my god #never in my life had i wanted to throw chairs at people SO bad #my mom would ask if i had found a pair of socks and it took all that was in me to not scream and throw my socks across the room #and then i got so so sad oh my god #cause i ended up taking two tweeks off work to get off it and get on a new one and i went up to see my dad #so i was on the train sobbbing my eyes out for no reason #or like a day or two after i got there we drove up into maryland to go to costco it was prolly hour 30 hour 45 #and my dad turned to look at me and my brain decided he did it wrong #i sobbed the entire way home and we had to stop at harbor freight and i cried even more #and he felt so bad and was like we can get dinner u want pizza we'll get pizza if u want and we almost couldnt find the dominos #and it almost made me worse i cried for like a solid 2 hrs and half of it was cause i was so upset abd angry that i was crying #when i didnt want to which made me cry more #god keppra is fucking evil #if it helps you of course ya got the good part but damn id never felt like that on any other med

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#thats me in the corner. thats me in thr spotlight. rocking from side to side and not contributing to the conversation #which is to say. i made it to thr lab get together with an old lab mate. i really truely did not think i would #i was like 20min late bc of the crying and hyperventilating over a 6min drive down the road #i sorta freaked out while driving too. and almost turned around. its just that i kno i havent been sleeping enough and got overwhelmed #but i made it there. and i dont think i looked like id been crying but i probably looked a bit blank faced and miserable #as i rocked from side to side for like 2hrs listening to ppl talk. i enjoyed it exactly as much as i expected. it was good to see the guy #again but i just dont connect in group gatherings idk. im glad its done. also fucking we were sitting there and a group comes in and whos #in that group?? someone i have avoided seeing for like a loooong time. the guy who tried to be in a relationship with me back when i 1st #started as a grad student. i say relationship. i was explaining to him why i couldnt do any sort of romantic e tanglement and he was very #firm abt not wanting a relationship. and im like bro im explaining u why no romanticly adjacent thing is gonna work. u literally asked me #to physically hold ur hand thru this. u r somehow more emotionally invested in this than me and also are telling me that u just wanna fuck #me. so like u r not slick. whatever. it was so fucking stressful at the time. which i feel bad abt bc it wasn't really his fault #i was just less self aware so i didnt kno i have bad awareness in the moment. like i dont kno a lines been crossed until a week later when #im laying on thr floor falling apart. so like i wish him the best. didnt kno he was still around. hopefully this doesnt trigger stress #dreams. all this to say i was very fucking tense. and when i got back in my car i was like shaky and panting lol #idk looking back its just such a weird situation with that dude. if i was anyone else it woudlnt have been a big deal but #my brain just doesn't process physical touch right. so now ive got these horrible touch memories that like on paper r literally nothing #but for me they were so unfathomablly awful when i 1st aquired them. i literally could not deal with any romantic stuff for like a month #bc it would like trigger me. now thst its been like 3 years its not bad tho. just like gives me thr ick but i dont get #stuck in the memories too much. its so dumb. whatever. point is im all sore now from sitting all tense haha #unrelated

[marsixm]

tried out being more assertive at work today and just bluntly stating things and i def was helped a bit getting things done by my dept head being there all night but! i think it went good! i def feel a lot better about my ability to do my fucking job and run a tighter ship.

#only time it fucked me was when i asked the new manager to make 1 small change #bc that man treats every conversation thats even .1% conflict like an argument #and then he apparently turned around and told my direct boss about it and said i was the one confused and things needed to be cleared up #motherfucker nothing needed to be cleared up you just have to listen to me #like this dude had come into my department and tried to do my job #then when i have a single issue he goes right to my superior #like zero respect for me at all its actually insane #but im done w trying to reassurance seek. talking to my dept head about it was enough. i know whats up #im trying to make peace w the fact that i cant fix this shit and dont need to worry abt it outside work tho #i was briefly also mad at my work bestie/work wife bc he said i didnt care about a specific task getting done #and i thought he was talking shit but its bc he was ALSO saying he didnt care abt it either LMFAOOO #i did briefly get so angry i couldnt eat #anyway things were not good but in a different dimension they were good #they were good in terms of my personal growth lol

[toytulini]

hit tag limit on the last post cos i started talking about roller coasters again 😔

#toy txt post #wish there was a way for me to like. Do. something. with my roller coaster hyperfixation. but im not an engineer i dont want to design them #thats so scary and i couldnt be a ride op cos im scared of riding most of them (disclaimer I KNOW HOW SAFE THEY ARE THATS NOT THE PROBLEM #I DONT HANDLE THE PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE OF THRILL RIDES FILLING ME WITH ADRENALINE VERY WELL IT CAUSES ME PAIN #i do not enjoy it. but i love to see coasters and watch them and read about them 🥺 and also sometimea i read about. the incidents which #felt like very foolish at first like okay this isnt gonna help me get comfortable riding them but honestly actually it did help? #to see how many of the incidents are like. truly like either freak accidents or someone fucked up #but like the rides safety mechanisms usually are very good and not the reason for an accident. most errors seem to be like. act of god or #like. operator or rider error. and some of the operator errors are kind of terrifying BUT ALSO seem like things that can be prevented #maybe the new wave of unionizing in the us will sweep into theme park employees and make sure theyre paid well and recieve good benefits #and that they are not pressured to prioritize profits or faster throughput at the expense of safety. and (really optimistic i know) maybe #we as a society and culture can unlearn our systemic fatphobia to the point that its doable to turn someone away for being #too big to ride safely without making them feel like shit or like its their fault and MAYBE we'll even possibly just maybe figure out how #to make rides that can actually accommodate larger guests safely so they can participate in the fun without fear or bodyshaming #logically i know theres no way to remove 100% of risk and that there is still heightened risk especially for ppl w various #medical conditions but idk i think we as a society can keep theme parks and do them well. i believe in us. #i should go to more of them....ive been to like. not that many but i do still have favorites #hershey my beloved. i LOVE how visible all the coasters are all the time i LOVE the skyview going right through great bears track #i hope i can go again this yr and see the new wildcat 🥺 absolutely not going to ride that fucking thing but i am definitely going to stare #at it. jenn if youre reading this i cannot fucking believe you got me to ride og wildcat honestly #p sure that rattle gave me a headache and i would not do it again that was a rough fucking ride lol but im glad u somehow got me into that #i have. such a complicated relationship with being peer pressured onto rides lol #like on the one hand i do need that a little bit or i definitely wont do it but on the other. being forced onto comet as a child was #slightly traumatizing and definitely marked my turn from wanting to ride all the coasters to jot wanting to ride anything #to my parents credit on that one they do recognize it as a mistake and were sorry about it like immediately so i dont hold it against them #but also dont. force ur children to ride coasters lol. but i do need to go spend a day at hershey just forcing myself to ride great bear #over and over. fav coaster best coaster. its so fucking loud. its shaped so good. pretty color scheme. its constellation themed #i do love and am obsessed with how hershey packs all those tracks together like that it looks so cool i love to see it #candymonium right at the entrance like that is Extremely distracting very immediately

[rohirric-hunter]

I finally managed to finish Doom of Caras Gelebren and it was very good, but I'm laughing because you can pick out the exact moment where Amarthiel was consigned to long-distance soap opera duty for life. Like, this was probably her first assignment as a champion of Sauron and she got her ass handed to her on a plate. No wonder he gave her partner assignments in a Very Far Away Location from about TA 1300 through present day. Every weird, sort of inexplicable behavior from her can now easily be explained by the fact that two minutes into serving Sauron she told him she could beat Celebrimbor in a fight and promptly got knocked on her ass in ten seconds flat and she's still trying to get him to take her seriously again.

#lotro #'what did amarthiel want with amdir?' yeah i figured it out #shes trying to prove she can make wraiths and stuff really shes good at this kind of thing look hes fully a wraith now #come on i did good right? thats how you do it right? i made a wraith just like the witch king. mordiriths never made a wraith. #at least not an interesting one. mordirith couldnt do this come on get me out of this bum fuck angmar assignment #what do you mean some rando and a couple of rangers took out my wraith about ten seconds after we finally got him properly under control #in all seriousness it was a good skirm no notes its just #once again for newer players i think this is going to kind of mess up the reveal of who amarthiel is later #it doesnt have her actual name in it but its clear that celebrimbor knew her and i think it hints at the fact that she used to live there #which are like. the interesting points of who she is #again not currently a concern because i highly doubt any new players are going to be doing this skirm #probably it will be a very long time before anyone who hasnt at least finished volume 1 will have this expansion #so i guess as long as the skirm is bundled with the expansion #which i believe it is #but its something theyll have to do something about when it turns into one of those things they bundle for free in november in a few years

[orcelito]

Honestly hate how hard it is to start writing again when you've gone too long without it. Like for fuck's sake man Why's shit gotta be like this

#speculation nation #daydreaming of the early discacc days when i wrote 70k words in 3 weeks. those were the days... #im just... so tired and wrung out and everything is so fucking hard #im barely even Doing anything besides working. my apartment is in horrible shape rn. #what is it about grief that makes life so hard to live man. you lose a cornerstone to your life and suddenly everything is in shambles #and i know he wouldnt have wanted this for me. for me to be Barely functioning bc my brain has been so bad in response #im alive im going to work im feeding myself and showering every day #but i havent been doing the dishes i havent taken out the trash theres Stuff all over my floors and cat messes i havent cleaned #and i dont have the energy for any of it. i get home i eat and then i climb into bed. rinse and repeat. #im just... tired. im so very tired. #i keep wanting to turn to my hobbies to cope with things but it's so fucking hard to stick to #constantly oscillating between manic moods where i think i can finally start moving on (but i dont have the focus to do writing) #and depressive moods where Good Fuckin Luck doing anything besides laying in bed #if you couldnt tell im in the second boat right now. in bed as we speak. and so i shall remain until it's time to go to work #at least ive been going to the woods almost every chance i get. it hasnt given me the power to write but it's been good for me i think #get out of the apartment. experience nature. pick up a snail. you know how it goes. #i kinda feel bad for entering a fandom and trying to dig out a place for myself and Kind Of succeeding #i have a good handful of followers. people who wanna see more of my analysis and fanfic #but i havent posted anything significant in like a month bc i have belonged to the void. all month. #losing family will do that to a person i guess. doesnt stop me from being frustrated though. #negative/

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Anyway just had a weird experience called "I have a terrible memory and today I was thinking about an event that happened but I couldn't remember a detail so I went back to my journal entry about it (this event was four years ago, I have an extensive journal for this exact purpose) and turns out there are so many details I forgot, and at this point it's so far gone that i can only read the details and know that it happened, but I can't remember all of it in context, if that makes sense, like I know the general premise of the event but I just have to trust that these details are true the way that I wrote them."

#i have the basic recollection #but i couldnt remember a bit. right. so i wrnt bsck to check #and i had so many blank spots that i didnt even realize #thats what the journal is for. i know myself #its nice that i know i have the memory ready if i ever want to look back at it #i dont. i regret looking back at it this time actually #it is not an easy memory. but it was bothering me that i couldnt remember one detail #i thought i was missing one detail but turns out i was missing like five important parts of the memory #im realizing that my life is really just a blur that i have to relive theough journal entries and other people's recollections #hmm. someone please tell me im not slone. or else im gonna get a little concerned

[evandorepart2]

ok anyway im leaving in. the day after tomorrow at like 2am so im just saying its tomorrow cause im literally just gonna stay up till then theres no point in sleeping. BUT two things. one i need to finish packing. my clothes are dry so i just have to bring them upstairs and pack. sort of stressed out bc like. i like my outfit i dont want to change it but everyones telling me its too hot for a leather jacket like i know!!!! but its my jacket :(

anyway i just have to do that so ill do it now and then…on top of that i wanted to get the draft for my ghost story done but i havent been working on it at all >_< ive just been reading comics the past couple days. so tomorrow. for sure. i will definitely work in getting the draft done totally.

but ugh im kind of nervous i havent seen these people in so long and im not great socially. also i dont go on trips in general so like. i hope i have energy for a full month yknow. i have a tendency of isolating myself when im stressed out but i dont have any space to do that…not that i should but whatever you know

#LIKE. im just eugh like im Bad at small talk. im better at dispensing information and leaving it that #or listening. ive been practicing listening a lot more so i dont overtalk and everyone gets a turn #OH RIGHT!!!! i hope. cause i have 4 cousins. two are toddler age #one is a little younger than me so like 13 but hes a boy idk how he is cause he might be annoying no offense <3 #and then an older girl whos around my brothers age so a few years older. and we never rlly talked cause it was always my brorher and her #last i saw them i was like. god idk it couldnt have been too young cause i got black out drunk before i stayed with them #so. 11? 12? definitely younger than 13 i know for a fact #im bad with times tho #anyway its been a while and im a lot older now. so i hope shes there so we can talk and be friends idk #apparently my brother isnt close to her anymore? he called her a bitch last time we talked abt her so. hope i do see her #and my aunt! i always liked her a lot and my brothers prob gonna be busy with our uncle. ill be stuck with the younger kids but thats ok i #dont mind since im used to handling my sister. apparently theyve wanted to meet me for a long time so i am super excited #i dont think anyones gonna expect what i look like tho lol i dont think anyone could have guess me being punk #not even me like i distinctly remember in elementary my friend. we were talking about mcr and emo / punk stuff and he was like. you coukd #never be like that. ummmmm well guess what dickhead!!!! jokes were actyally still close lol #ANYWAY i am fucking excited and nervous and have to find a normal way to bring up 18th century fashion or perhaps history of contemporary #folk

[wabblebees]

its official im spouse material who wants me (<- successfully made masala chai)

#ik for some ppl thats def not a big deal lmao but id never tried to make it myself before this week so im v proud!! it turned out SO GOOD #successfully twice now!! #i did my research and found some recipes and tips and whatever #but ofc i eyeballed it instead of going directly off of a recipe bc im LEARNING and i wanna figure shit out for myself #also i made Real Food for dinner like 4 times this week for my family instead of relying on cereal or frozen shit when my mom didnt/couldnt #and they ALSO all turned out very fucken good #who is this bitch?? me?? going to work getting sleep AND eating almost 3 meals nearly every day??? #ofc i uh. got sick yesterday after 3 days of damp+cold farm work in a row but!! we're trying lmao #have i slept Enough?? hell no. but have i BEEN SLEEPING??? hell yes!!! #after having Negative Spoons for more than half of a year this feels like. idk. im still really fatigued most of the time and everything is #hard & thats not going away anytime soon. but it feels at least like a v good step in the right direction that i wasnt able to take before #so im celebrating what i can!! #... <3 #bee speaks