#i didnt want to ruin people's fun

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

im pretty sure this is not a popular opinion which is why i havent said it, but its been on my mind for months now so fuck it, i guess.

you know that post, the one about the barbie movie and margot robbie talking about barbie being a doll with no reproductive organs and sexual desire, and a lot of tumblr users just like, celebrating this as a win for asexuality?

i hate that post. a lot. like a lot a lot.

because while i dont think margot robbies conclusion is wrong (shes a doll), i think calling barbie asexual is inaccurate and it makes me, an ace person, uncomfortable.

like i dont think its a purposeful link, but that comparison very much implies that sexuality and sexual desire is tied to having reproductive organs, which uh no, thats not how that works and i really dislike that implication. idk about you, but i dont like tying my queerness to my biology.

that link is also one that rings of those who presume that there is a universal normative experience, which is also true of the movie itself, see jessie genders video on that. there are many people in the world who have what would be considered atypical reproductive organs and plenty whose reproductive organs can be considered not-working like those who have gone through the menopause, and they are not all ace.

its also just reductive as to what asexuality in general. margot robbies quote was specifically that barbie didnt feel sexual desire, and funnily enough, sexual desire =/= sexual attraction. while i, myself, be a sex-repulsed ace, there are plenty of horny aces who do the fuck. ive already mentioned the fact that im opposed to linking my queerness to biology, and honestly that part only made me more uncomfortable after the movie ended on "im here to see my gynecologist".

also just, barbie is a plastic doll. like thats how she starts in the movie itself. shes not asexual, shes a doll. and idk dude, theres just a part of me that is deeply uncomfortable with tying asexuality with a doll.

like imo, this just isnt the win for asexuality people were treating it as. we can do better than this.

especially considering the way queerness was handled in the film, but again, go watch jessie genders video on it, its better presented than my rambling post

#kai rambles #this has been on my mind for months #everytime i saw that post #i stayed quiet #i didnt say anything #i didnt want to ruin people's fun #which is how i treated all of the barbie movies because people were having fun i didnt want to ruin the fun #or come across as a contrarian #or put myself on the same side of all the sad men complaining about it being about men being evil #because like thats not my opinion but when those are the loudest voices criticising the film #you dont want to join in yourself because i also think their criticisms are dumb and bigoted #but i also think the movie was a vehicle for capitalism and that people are hailing greta gerwig for a middling film that is also an #advert for matel #and that its social commentary is woefully lacking because its just so fucking white #it is a white feminist movie #it is a cishet feminist movie #it does not address or even acknowledge intersectionality #and it is randomly (?) racist towards native americans #like the smallpox line and the uh funny haha barbie version of mount rushmore joke are uh #theyre unnecessary inclusions that show at the very least an ignorance towards native issues and experiences #also like its hard to make your fuck the patriarchy movie when capitalism is a fundamental part of the patriarchy and your movie is also an #also the movie itself links gender with reproductive organs which is not only cisnormative and like fucking #radfem bullshit #but also completely ignores the fact that intersex people exist #...i did not mean to go on a rant #i didnt even like particularly dislike the film i just fucking hated how it was being discussed

[electricmaimer]

"i dont care if people who havent read the books get spoiled for the show" <- words of a person i now want to bite and yell at

#BE FUCKING NICE #A LOT OF THEM ARE CHILDREN??? THEY EITHER HAVENT GOTTEN AROUND TO READING THE BOOKS BECAUSE THEY DIDNT HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO YET #OR #ADDITIONALLY IT IS 2023. THE WORLD IS DIFFERENT AND MEDIA IS BEING ADAPTED FOR NEW GENERATIONS #TRY HOLDING SOME WONDER AND JOY IN YOUR HEART AND THINK ABOUT HOWW FUN IT IS TO EXPERIENCE A STORY FOR THE FIRST TIME #STOP SPOILING SHIT ON PURPOSE IT MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT CRIMES❤️ #literally dont be a spiteful dick and stop ruining things for fun or because you want to gatekeep and have a superiority complex #fuck uou i would personally give ANYTHING to get to experience this story for the first time again #and watching people ruin in in real time for people experiencing it for the firdt time. i hate you #ypure all extremely selfish and shortsighted for doing this whole 'yeah but the books have been out for forever.. :/' bs #absolutely giving yourself away as a fucking clown with no ability to gain anything positive from shared joy. get well soon #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo show #percy jackson show #pjo tv show #eeanpost #ALSO THE FUCKING AUDACITY FOR THE FANBASE OF A BOOK SERIES ABOUT KIDS STRUGGLING WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES TO YELL AT PEOPLE FOR NOTREADING #DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YPURSELVES ???? WHAT THE FUCK??? THE STORY IS MORE ACCESSIBLE NOW. THAT IS A GOOD THING. HTJSJJTJFJG

[stardew-obsessed-ora]

so as a fun fact my main stardew oc i post here was meant to be demonic in nature

the demon au going around is 1000% inspiring me to bring that back and expand on it in depth RAHHHHHH. BRAINROT.

#i just think the idea of ulrich being run to the point of exhaustion over monitoring where the hell wayward human souls are going is funny #being mephistopheles in an au where people actively take human souls for power cant be fun #to clarify ulrich's job in most aus is simply to guide souls that are meant for hell to hell. #if a soul is taken and he doesn't know where the fuck it is it totally ruins his day and the flow of his job #urghhhh so much brainrot #ulrich is usually a demon in whatever universe hes in #i was a tad bit nervous making him one in stardew bc i didnt want to be all overpowered or anything #but i kinda wanna bring it back... #hmmm......

[lesbianuhaulindustrialcomplex]

I did something recently that hurt my mom's feelings and the world has come to a fucking halt about it. Everyone keeps reaching out to me to be like "hey you hurt your mom's feelings idk if you know" even though she and I have extensively talked about it and I've given multiple genuine apologies because she keeps going to everyone who will still talk to her in our family (not very many people) and complaining about me and I'm just like. Genuinely I am very remorseful that I hurt my mother but like. Where the fuck was all this energy when she was hurting her fucking children for 30+ years?

#i technically uninvited her to something #the situation is that i planned a whole birthday party for myself and then BECAUSE MY MOM PICKED A HUGE FIGHT WITH ALL OF HER SIBLINGS #like 75% of the people i invited (my aunts and uncles and cousins) canceled on me #so i canceled my birthday party but asked my brother sister and my brothers wife to still come over that night #they were only coming to see my apartment for the first time. our plan was to get kind of drunk and loud and do karaoke on my couch #my mom has seen my apartment dozens of times #ive invited my parents over for multiple casual dinners. they HATE driving to my area bc its too busy #my mom HATES loud chitchat and music and bad singing and staying up late. #all things we did that night! #and if i were confident i could extend a polite invitation that would have been turned down for inclusion's sake then i would have done that #but i fucking didnt invite her! because she would have said yes! and then she would have been policing the event and my behavior all night! #BECAUSE SHE IS A DIAGNOSED NARCISSIST WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE SKILLS TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR #and i know she can't really help it. i know her life was so fucking hard. but she made MY life hard. she STILL makes my life hard. #i just wanted one fucking night to have fun with people that love me. just one fucking night! and she tried her VERY best to ruin that #even without an invite #and tbh in some ways she really succeeded in ruining it. half the fucking time was spent talking about her and how to handle this situation #and if this is a precursor to her gettting fucking worse again and going back to inpatient #im just fucking tired of it man

[andromedasummer]

think i should get time machine so i can kill. peter jackson

#upsides: #less annoyig racist tourists #no movies with the Racism Casting towards the native people of the country THEYRE FILMING THE MOVIE IN #preservation of union and working rights for people working in the film industry #because that dumb fucking nimby wont be there to go ''oh but warner said if i cant violate workers rights on my fantasy hobbit set #then theyll film in scotland so you have to let us do that or we will lose thousands in tourism'' AND THEN NATIONAL JUST FUCKING. #LET THE WARNER BROS AND JACKSON CHANGE OUR FUCKING LAWS SO THEY COULD PROFIT #insane i had to take a media class at uni to learn about this shit #we got 3 whole 2 hour lectures on the fucking mess behind those films and how. nonexistent the argument that they #draw in most of the country's tourism is #i say all this as someone who thinks the lotr books are fun and recognises why the first movies are so loved #but my god i just. i hate that fucking man dude. i hate how he used his influence to push our previous mayor into that position #all because he didnt want us to build more houses and ruin his dumb fucking harbour view WE HAVE A HOUSING CRISIS DICKHEAD #i hope my old classmate angus accidentally stands on your head while you are sunbathing at lyall bay again evey day forever

[pontsalin]

I'm gonna say it, but some of the theory about Grian's lore get quite weird sometimes like..

#Taurtis isn't gonna come back for grian edgy lore?? Nor is grian gonna make him do that?? Didnt taurtis stop yt bc of - #Mental health like. #Thats weird #Also that theory that compares the evo build to the hc9 build on the boulder is also so far stretched #It's just greek inspired 😭😭 #I know we're all hyped by grian's lore but some of the stuff makes me 🧍 #Also grian knows better than to make lore solely based on a serie most of his new viewers haven't seen imo #Delete later maybe #Its just very far stretched #I don't want to ruin people's fun but also you know. Dont get your hopes up like that guys

[sleepsmackdown]

Ngl it’s a little frustrating to see you repeat again and again how annoyed you are with one of the contestants (Hunter)

Like okay the owl house keeps winning polls, so what? It’s a good show, it’s well written, it has great characters, it deserves it

I’m sorry for the characters they’re pitched against but it’s the point of these polls, to see who’s the most loved/popular. So I don’t see why getting upset about characters meeting their purpose of being in these tournaments. And seeing you being repeatedly petty about it is kinda unfair to the fans who follow you. Just let people being enthusiastic about it

I've tried not to repeat it- I've done my best to only talk about when asked. I'm sorry if it seemed like I was being petty- I want people to be enthusiastic about it, but at that point his participation was guaranteed and I had been in a car for four very uncomfortable hours. I got unnecessarily annoyed, and I do apologize if it went too far.

#god i am. not good at this kind of thing. #im sorry if i upset anyone or didnt seem genuine in my apology #if anyone wanted to submit propaganda for him (now or when voting starts) and i scared you off; go ahead and do it #im not petty enough to ruin other peoples fun (at least intentionally) #midnight speaks

[just-mebs]

I just noticed that on your about you have EngieScout marked as a "current interest" but not TF2 itself lol

Engie//Scout is my child, my love and joy, the water for my crops, the sugar in my lemonade...

TF2 is just kind of there

#I KNOW that every time I talk about TF2/TF2's fandom I'm like SO negative #I'm like SO sorry I really am #but I have NEVER been out right harassed until I joined this fandom #I have NEVER been suicide baited until I joined this fandom #I WAS LITERALLY CALLED A TRANS FETISHIST while in this fandom #''its not all of us'' I know I've met SO many amazing people here and have so many amazing mutuals and friends now #but for every amazing person there are a bunch with such shitty personalities I don't even want to be associated lmao #sorry for rant it just makes me mad #<- got his fun ruined and now cant enjoy things #mine.mebs #ask.mebs #apologies if this ends up in the engie//scout tags #also this isnt me being like ''wow im the only one whos ever been harassed'' because thats obviously not true #i just never been stoned to death for existing #fr fr the rare pair event was like the tipping point that made me throw in the towel #literally was going through the worst week of my life and some bozo got mad because *checks notes* I copied d/nad2022 valentines day rules #and didnt want to talk about spy//scout publically on my event blog :) wowie #''dont expose minors to bad things'' <- insists on exposing minors to bad things #yall dont understand how mad about it I still am

[bunnyb34r]

Man I really fucking miss the local craft store chain that was near us

:( I think id love working there honestly like it was always so chill there

I used to get sticker books there for $1 and that's where we got Bean and all of The Bbs from

They had the best clearance sales it was wild

#theyd just have racks outside the doors with clearanced merch and it was pretty much honor system lmao but people more often than not would #bring the stuff in with them and shop so theyd pay for it yknow? #i remember when we got bean he dropped on a shelf 500 ft away from the toy isle and i felt so bad for him that i carried him in the crook #of my arm the rest of the trip -he looks so different than the others bc he was made before they switched how they did the beaks and feet #and bc i slept with him in my arms for at least a year sggsgsg legume i didnt bc i wanted her to stay fluffy #marquilla #that store was so fun and so close by too #oh! and the wife of the guy who owned the chain had a boutique and she made my prom dress! not FOR me but she made it and she had come out #that day that we were there and she was talking to us for a bit ab it which was really nice she made beautiful dresses too man like i think #she retired but if i ever get married id love to get a dress from her boutique if its still there bc they were seriously breathtaking like #super expensive agdggdg but they were so perfect looking and so lovely i wanted to try one on so bad agdgdgdggd but they were like 5k #MINIMUM and i didnt wanna ruin it accident sggddgdg #anyway just feeling nostalgic i guess idk what brought this on really #they were affordable as fuck too (the craft store)

[oathkeeperoxas]

.

#feel like shit just want [redacted] back #somehow its only been 6 weeks since all of this started to come down #and now 2 weeks since it all came to a head #hate being online sometimes like haha nooo dont harass people you sickos its all fun and games here literally what is wrong with you #and tbh i was only on the peripherals of this #but seeing how awesome people were super involved and now have retreated out of public spaces makes me big :((((( #im trying to forget about it but like it sucks dude... my daily [redacted] was such a good thing to get for the last 6 months why did #some racist online ruin everything. and for what. it was all anon anyway so they didnt even get clout #just ruined a bunch of peoples lives like :)))))))) this is fine #maybe I'll write a [redacted] where they [redacted] in her honour #maybe it'll make me feel better. can't feel worse lol! #personal

[demigod-of-the-agni]

hm.

#agnirambles #bit of a Rant haha #this makes no sense out of context like why are you still here lol #okay look i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. i don't know what i did and i don't know and i'm sorry #i'm sorry for not knowing how to fix things or how to move on. i'm sorry that i couldn't be better for you #and i'm sorry for not. being good. #i'm sorry that you found out that i actually suck as a human being. i'm sorry that you learned that i'm terrible and just. i'm sorry #you don't deserve me and maybe staying away from me is best for you. it's always good if you're away from me. because i am terrible #and sticking close to me means you will get hurt by all the stupid things that i do. i only hurt people #and i'm sorry #but. i want to know. what did you think of me when you cut me out #i just want to know. i just want to know but it's not right of me to know because i don't have the right to know #but it's not the fact knowing you hate me now. it's not that you moved away from me #it's the silence of not knowing. it's the gap. it feels like nothing. it's been eating me up for months. my brain is convinced we were- #-having so much fun just yesterday. but i wake up and im just staring at the scorch marks i left in the ground. the marks that drove you aw #im sorry i ever did anything to hurt you. i didnt mean to #i honest to god never meant to hurt you. i dont even know what i did #i never know what i did. because thats how horrible i am yk? cant even figure what i did. pathetic #i never manage to let good things last i always ruins things one way or another and im sorry you ever knew me maybe you would have lived li #more peacefully without me #but its okay #you dont know im saying these things #i feel too much with a heart that doesnt know what to do with itself i just wish it didnt know how to feel why do i always feel #just. im so sorry. whether you see this or not is meaningless. youve cut me out completely (good). but i hope you are doing okay #i hope you're doing well. i hope you're living life well. because even if im paying the price for whatever i did. knowing that you're okay #means much more to me. #bye friend. im glad you're doing okay #hopefully now we can put it behind us. we can live on our own now #(but im sorry that you ever learned of me) #(im sorry you thought we could be friends)

[globodamorte]

what the fuuuuuuck I don't exiiisttttt

#met someone i used to talk to in uni. and uhh. ok we talked and parted ways real quick but .. so weird... #they said augh wd all have lunch together on thursdays bc its the day were all here and j was. SO glad i dont go to uni on Thursdays. #delete #like i dont know. i dont know. #i cant i CANT hold conversations with these people who work and study and date and go out and have fun. #the last time i felt so weird. ... all of them talking about their internships and shit and i just.m. didnt have anything to say????? #i was just there #and if anyone asked “and what about you?” i would just. either say nothing much or just ruin the mood by saying i feel awful. #like i dont . i dont jnow anymore #it all feels sk fake i feel so fake #the thought of someone recognizing me and wanting to talk to me based on memories they have of me is so.... sickening

[victim9d]

hm.

#negative cw #our other best friend came over and my roommate mentioned that hes here but never anything past that #and i just went to the bathroom and heard them all playing the board game we were all gonna play and. no one told me #like i would've probably said no bc the kids are here and I'd be uncomfortable but. it hurts? #its a game ive never played before (cluedo) that i bought specifically bc i thought it would be fun to play with my best friends but #god i hate this my stupid brain is so self sabotaging and now im just 'well okay so im never ever gonna play cluedo then this has ruined it' #i hate this i hate everything ab this but my brain gets so all or nothing in situations like this #and i will frequently go for Nothing bc i feel like this is a. it feels once again like i am being excluded from the only friends i have #and its. if it was any other day I'd say maybe they dont wanna keep me up bc of work but i dont work tomorrow #me not working tomorrow is WHY we were gonna play board games tonight literally the entire reason #bc i could stay up later and it'd be fine #but also its fucking 7pm its not that late and they've been going for a couple hours already #and i just. it hurts that they didnt even ask if i wanted to play when ive spent days excited for this #i have talked excitedly ab playing cluedo and now i never ever want to see that game ever again i hate it #i wish i had. i wish i had friends outside of just my 2 roommates and our best friend #like i don't even mean i want people im as close to as them i literally just. i dont know anyone else #no one else would ever want to spend time with me #and i am constantly watching them all make new friends and bring new people into their lives and i just. dont #and its not for lack of trying!!!!! i am always trying So Hard to meet people and make friends but just. it. #i have known for Years like at least a decade that i am fundamentally difficult for people to like especially in person so ive clung to #the trio ive had but i just. i feel like. they are moving on #and its felt that way for a long time for a lot of reasons and its just. i do not understand what im doing wrong #or why people never like me #i wish so badly i could've just been happy with the body i was born in i feel like if i had just settled w being a girl people might like me #i don't know this is stupid and depressing and will be deleted i just #hearing them playing and having fun and the fact that they never even thought to involve me just Hurts

[kitkatcadillac]

i think also people who dont understand how "stacking some rocks sometimes" can be harmful have heard of the countless cases where "its just a little thing" has destroyed countless landmarks and parks

elafonisi's pink sand beaches only retain 10% of the pink hues they used to retain just a few decades ago,

(source)

and if you didnt know it could happen, a larger scale upheaval of a beach in jamaica actually did result in the disappearance of an entire beach.

(source)

pig beach in the bahamas attracts people for being, well, the bahamas, and native pigs in the area can be found swimming to get around sometimes. people go nuts for the photo opportunity and forget these are wild animals- and youd expect it being the pigs killing people, but actually, people being too friendly caused a ban on feeding the pigs because seven of the poor things died after people figured "how bad could it hurt them if i give them just one?"

(source)

and these are just cases of something specific happening or being taken or given. thats not including people ruining and closing down entire tourist attractions, beaches, and parks by completely overcrowding it, disregarding rules, or trashing and littering the places.

like if someone preserving the park tells you not to do something you think is "harmless," i swear they arent just doing it because they want to ruin your fun. maintaining these places is delicate work- its a privilege to see and visit these areas, not a right. please take care of the world around you whether youre very close or very far from home, okay?

#skelly speaks #be good my child etc etc #conservation

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

I do kinda hope we get a sequel, it’d be nice to be able to talk about Lorabetta again

#smol has a vent #this aint as bad as my other vents but it's still a bit melancholy to go in my normal 'speaks' or fandom tag #cause like i dont wanna make out like 'oh the attentions not on ME im LEAVING this fandom' cause im not. but like. #it's one of my only fandoms ive ever truly been In. i made friends from it. i developed OCs for it. discussed the lore and game with others. #i was INTO it and made one of my favourite OCs ever. and people actually wanted to know about her!!! #people asked me about her!!! we made our OCs interact!!! thats not happened before!! #i finally felt like i was in a community! but of course things have lulled these last few months #which is only natural of course. people have their own lives and stuff to deal with they get into other fandoms its natural its normal. #the server aint fully dead most of us are still kinda there. i hope it picks up again at some point #but yeah no i finally drew a Lorabetta comic for Easter and i was PRAYING this might get more attention than the last one (which was 0) #cause i was following up a previous comic! one that got attention! i shared it in the server and.... #nothing. no one cared i suppose. ik she's not like the Best or Most Popular OC in the fandom. i dont think she even registers #on a fandom-wide scale. but she matters to me. and it mattered that other people were interested. and that interest just...isnt there anymor #didnt help i nearly had her ruined for me over something i really shouldnt have got so upset about but i had no way of like assuaging #my worries so i lowkey spiralled a little bit so it left a sour taste in my mouth. another reason drawing her comic meant a lot to me #telling myself 'i still love her'. i want others to love her too. is that a lot to ask? maybe. ah well. such is life. #i reckon a sequel would also be very fun but i mostly do just want a reason to go back to Lorabetta. maybe Mollinda too #im sorry i left you by the wayside girls. and sorry to Lanabelle and Edithana for never developing you. but ya meant a lot to me. still do. #'wow shes apologising to her OCs thats so fuckin sad' yeah maybe but im a sensitive bitch me. its how im built lol

[obscure-entity]

your shading is AMAZING specially when its conveying organic forms..... do you have any tips for people who dont know wrf going on (with shading)

ok so HI. hi. my old tutorial pisses me off so i will make a new one

i made a guy whose sole purpose is to be shaded so dont worry he likes it. and his name. his name will be mr. Boob. mr boob does not have to be blue

theres probably way better explanations of how to do it but unfortunately trying to "emulate" shading does ask you to somewhat understand ur character in a 3d way. like what would the 2d shape be if you "sliced" it? mr boob is made of so many circles. his tail also does a kind of weird perspective foreshortening thing because its pointing at you. is this being conveyed

you obviuously dont have to draw a horrendous grid on your characters skin to do this . BUT it helps you put down (or at least envision) the lines of the form shading :

dont worry about cast shadows or the shading color because this is FORM SHADOW time only. think about what surfaces of the character are obviously facing away from the light source and put down the "separation line" of the shading based on that. thr most important thing is that youre trying to separate light from dark

im going to pick the first one for cast shadows bc it will be the most obvious to me

ok so. his ears and snout are blocking other surfaces of his body from the light, which means a shadow is cast!!!! bam. i saw someone describe cast shadows as what the light's pov "can't see." his entire body is putting down a cast shadow on the ground too

im impatient so i blended the form shadows now. its usually the easiest to just NOT blend cast shadows as a way of conveying that they are still cast shadows. but you can still blend them if you want to show "distance" between the obstruction and the surface its blocking. but its just a way of saying form and cast shadows should not be treated the same even if their softness coincides

im going to lump reflection and ambient light together because theyre like. similar. reflections dont just happen in mirrors

since the sky is blue, making the ambient lighting, i tinged mr. boobs existing shadow to be a bit blue. (*this is kind of important because it can help you decide a shading color, which should USUALLY be based on the environment) (unless your character is just in the transparent void then it doesnt matter)

since the ground is pink, i made pink light bounce off of him. pointed and labelled. i dont rlly know how to go more in depth than that

contact shadows are literally shadows formed from direct-touching contact. very little light can reach in there, even from how reflections disperse, which means youre free to use the darkest color available (black). in this case mr. boob is making contact with the floor. because he is sitting on the floor.

i touched him up a bit and wow!!!!!!!!!! look at mr. boob!!! he is so beautifully sculpted.

and one more thing

thats right. i made mr boob PINK. hes fucking ruined now. just kidding i would never say that to him

what im trying to convey here (its the easiest with really light colors) is a transitional color. this can also show subsurface scattering depending on how you use it which is fun to look at. the mistake i made on my last tutorial was "Just pick a warm saturated color!" which is really wrong in examples like Blue mr boob. because it would be weird to use a warm color to transition from blue to blue.

if you have a character that isn't bright enough then obviously the shadows wont be as visible. its BEST to bring more attention to highlights and reflections to reveal the form a bit. they play the biggest role with darker colors

thats all i can think of. fun things to look up:

structuralization + contour lines + foreshortening etc. 3d lingo

form shadows

cast shadows

ambient light

contact shadows

subsurface scattering

im also just speaking out of my ass otherwise. i didnt look up any of these terms until the end now im inferring and hoping i got them right

and remember every time you shade mr boob will be rooting for you

#art tutorial #shading #lighting #long post