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wanderingandfound · 9 months

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Went with my coworkers to watch the Barbie movie. Mega spoilers below. What I can say without spoilers is that this is a movie you should watch with friends/acquaintances, but a full theater could substitute. I had fun.

The good:

I was laughing so much and so was our teen intern and a lot of other people in the theater.

The props and costumes!

Margo Robbie!!!!!

The... disappointing? The negative criticisms:

So many truths were dropped as jokes and it was funny and well-paced but for a movie that is constantly talking about how bad the patriarchy is... it doesn't grapple with it or seem to have anything to say? Which isn't surprising because I knew going into it it was basically an ad for a toyline, but I didn't expect so many explicit call outs of systemic and structural misogyny, which is why I'm left wishing there had been a point the film was trying to make. It's like everything was lampshaded and never analyzed.

The set up, given by a voice-of-god narrator, is that in Barbieland the Barbies think misogyny is solved in the real world because of them. And then the ending has the protagonist, Stereotypical Barbie, saying she wants to be one of the people shaping the ideas, not one of the dolls shaped by those ideas. It turns out Gloria had been shaping her, by dreaming up Cellulite Barbie and Constantly Thinking About Death Barbie (I forget the exact phrase the movie used) and Sad Barbie. You would think this would be the plot of the movie. This is what caused Stereotypical Barbie's malfunctioning, what ignited the call to adventure. This is what Barbie's last big decision was about. You would be wrong (we'll get there). Maybe I'm just spoiled by Discworld (and something else did this too... ugh I can't remember) but like, the interplay of belief between humans and their gods? How they both shape and form each other? That is my absolute jam and they could have done so much with it and they seemed like they were going to! And they technically did something with it but like, I dunno, to me it felt like the something they did do was deserving of a 22 minute episode in a 26 episode season, not a full theatrical movie with a star-studded cast. Oh no, in the real world the toys got weird. The plot in the toy world wasn't even caused directly by human beliefs but rather by a toy's belief.

Okay there's nothing in the movie to contradict asexual!Barbie so that's great but uh, now that it's out I don't want to keep seeing ace!Ken jokes/implications that this is actual real representation because uh...

...the plot is that Ken is an incel.

Seriously.

He has a song about how it sucks to be in the Friendzone.

He brings patriarchy to Barbieland and brainwashes all the other Barbies to be subservient to Kens because he loved that in the real world he was finally given the time of day.

For a bit I was worried that the movie would try and pull a "misandry is just as bad as misogyny" thing because he did kinda have 1 valid complaint in the beginning, but thankfully it didn't.

Anyways I know there are ace people who genuinely like kissing, but I don't think a character who makes multiple unwanted advances to the same character is like, innately representation. Even if he does lack genitalia.

On a related note, with spoilers for the very last moment pre-credits, I don't know how I feel about the only action we see Barbie take as a human rather than a doll is attending a gynecologist appointment. Like on one hand it was funny, and gynecologists are treated as women's doctors by society. On the other hand, the implication that being a Real Woman means having a vagina is bad. Like yes one of the Barbies is played by a trans actress, but I didn't catch anything in the movie to imply that she's a trans Barbie, you know? Like if I was watching this unaware of the internet hullabaloo, nothing in the movie would have clued me into the creators knowing that gender isn't something fixed and predetermined. Which I feel is relevant when they made a move all about gender, the patriarchy, and how humans imagine and conceptualize the world!

Related to the second bullet, Gloria has a proto-goth daughter (who unfortunately does get pinkafied) and it is absolutely clear said daughter gets some of her rage at the unfairness of the world from Gloria. And Gloria has been drawing all these Sad Barbies, which Sasha thinks is actually cool and dark. But when Sasha pushes Gloria to present her ideas to her boss, what comes out it Ordinary Barbie, who could or could not be a mom and could or could not be the president. Like I get that the point is that sadness, overwhelming thoughts of death, and cellulite are all normal, but the way Ordinary Barbie was pitched makes it really easy for the doll to be identical to Stereotypical Barbie as a toy.

They didn't deal with death at all! Like, they acknowledged that humans die and barbies don't but this was all undermined by having a human ghost in multiple emotional scenes! They dealt neither with actual death, nor how unfounded fears of others' death can make people scared and sad (huge root of my depression) or how fears of one's own death can make someone obsessed with legacy and leaving a mark (seems rather relevant for a Barbie movie with many explicit call backs to the entire history of Barbie, and for a movie that says it's about imagination and conceptualization).

I don't really know what the Executives were supposed to bring to the movie. Like, soon enough the pacing absolutely removed them from feeling like an actual threat. And they were.... cartoonish is the wrong word. They felt like they were from Barbieland, not from the Real World. I feel like they were useful for one joke about how lol, Barbie is about girlpower but all the people in charge are cis white men.

The movie makes gay men the butt of jokes and nothing more, and absolutely nothing indicated to me that they know gay women exist.

This should be higher up but like starting a few weeks (months?) ago the press for the movie made me worry that it was going to be too much about Ken and like, yeah, I was right. The plot isn't Barbie vs. The Real World. The plot is Barbie vs. Ken.

Well this wasn't supposed to get so long and I fell asleep while writing it but uh, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, yeah. This movie is like the opposite of Nope in the way that when I left that theater with my siblings and dad and cousins we were analyzing nonstop about what things meant and symbolized and all that, and then the next day we had even more to say. Since then I think the only other movie I've seen in theaters has been SM:AtSV with my dad and siblings and like, okay we didn't leave the theaters theorizing but we did leave talking about how good it was (and then my siblings started talking about MCU's Spider-Man and Doctor Strange and I kinda tuned out). Vs when I left the theaters with four of my coworkers, we clearly had fun but like, there wasn't much more to say.

Like I watched Nimona by myself the other week, yeah? (Well okay, my parents came home three quarters of the way through but even though my mom was in the living room she wasn't watching the movie.) And I think that was a good use of my time and I enjoyed it, as evidenced by going through the tags on Tumblr and reblogging art and analysis. But if I had watched the Barbie movie by myself, and not in a half-full theater eager to laugh with my coworkers including one making a bunch of comments to me and some guy behind me making a bunch of comments to his friend, I think I might have felt a little emoty at the end. Like, the experience was fun but I don't think I got anything from the movie. Metaphorical potato chips/sugar candy if you will, where it tastes nice in your mouth but doesn't fuel you in either the short term or the long term.

I did have fun! But if you were expecting something more than an ad and a laugh, this is not it.

#personal #liveblogging stories #thoughts #Oh my goodness this got SO LONG.#Barbie #Yeah fuck it‚ let's put it in the tag.

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nono-bunny · 10 months

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Genuinely impressed by how realistic Barbie and Her Sisters in a Pony Tale (God that's an unnecessarily long title) is when it comes to horse etiquette, especially when it comes to Stacie

I rode for a good couple of years, so this is probably the first hobby~ movie I've seen from Barbie so far where I actually like,,, know a thing or two about the main subject (pretty much all of the others before it are ballet ones I think, and I never got very far when it came to my dancing lessons lol)

It's really cool watching Stacie fumble her mounting, brushing, and riding (mostly due to poor communication with her horse) and being able to actually SEE what she's doing wrong rather than just being told by the story she is, like! Sure, it's all pretty basic stuff, but it's also clear because of it that the people working on this movie were passionate enough about it to learn how to portray all of that in such a clear way, and that makes it really fun to watch!

Stacie getting up on her horse again after a bad, scary fall is a relatively minor plot-point, but it's still one I personally appreciated a lot- falling from a beast that can crush you in a second is REALLY scary, and getting back up again isn't to be taken for granted! She's shown to be really scared and a bit traumatized by the jump that she fell during, and I like that! It's more than understandable, and I admire her for giving it another shot and learning how to make it work together with her horse! It can be very easy to start to resent your horse after something like that, and she definitely starts off down that route where fear is about to get the better of her, so I'm genuinely happy for her that Barbie helped her past that hurdle. Your first big fall is the scariest and it can very easily cause people to quit altogether, but it's definitely a fear that can be conquered and overcome! I had a real big fall pretty early after I started riding, and it's to date probably one of the most surreal experiences I've ever had in my life, but I had the instructors and other kids there with me in the aftermath, so I got back on and kept riding for years after that! And I still for sure fell again after that, and eventually I did stop riding because for some reason I became scared over time, which honestly, is probably had a lot to do with the fact that I didn't have my own horse and had to switch horses a lot, and it's exhausting when you're constantly having to learn how to handle a new horse... And also that one horse I was paired with for A WHILE that was honestly probably way too small for me because I kept falling forward on her mane (which was highly unpleasant for both of us). Like, fr, horseriding truly is a rich person sport lol, it's so much easier when you just have your own horse that you can form a proper connection with!!! Anywayyy

I love that you can really feel both the stable camaraderie AND the underlying animosity born out of jealousy that, in my experience, at least, was a staple of my horseriding days, like! Everyone is there to have a good time with horses, but at the same time there's a lot of envy towards "the good riders", the ones who participate in all the competitions and are treated a bit like celebrities (and sometimes act like ones because of it), like!! Yeah this Barbie movie 100% nailed the vibe it was going for!! Financial troubles? Horses running away? Those are the sort of things that make everyone band together because ultimately, most everyone just wants these horses to be as safe and comfortable as possible!

I was also really scared they were going to make Etienne the villain so I'm glad he wasn't, even though his fat, scheming, ALSO french brother being the villain is not a much better look, but like... Good for Etienne, I like him, he seems like a good coach who has to deal with a lot of shit and takes it all with grace because he loves his job! I was really happy with the way they showed that Philippe was the outlier in terms of poor sportsmanship and desire to just profit off of horses, and that even his coworkers and family disapprove of his behavior. Like! You can win all the races, but that won't matter to anyone if you're also a nasty person to be around... Those kinds of people are very much still present in the horseriding circuits, but they suck and that kind of behavior is really not acceptable

This movie just?? Really brought me back to those days in the best way possible, it's so much fun and genuinely a good film, and like! For something with that kind of name I was expecting it to be either really boring or really lame (Perfect Christmas is the perfect example, god that one sucked), so it was a really nice treat for it to be especially good! All the sisters got their own neat plots that worked well too, I feel like I was about equally invested in all of them which was great! God, please let the other Barbie&co films be just as good!!

#barbie #barbie and her sisters in a pony tale #barbie movies

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sleeping-satan · 9 months

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I want to start off by saying that I loved the Barbie movie. The messages around how women are treated and directly discussing the double standards they're forced to deal with are in your face and addressed well. All while not being too depressing to the point where it brings down joy and comedy of the film. When talking about social issues, it's extremely difficult to do that, but when done correctly it gets so many people to actually listen.

And God it's so campy while giving actual Barbie history.

And with so many women of color in the movie, its sad to say that I have one critique: It lacks intersectionality.

I'm a White dude, so what I'm saying is what I've learned from women of color and throughout college. If it seems shallow it's because it is, I do not have as much of an understanding as I would like.

Spoilers below the cut:

Barbie does not address that in a matriarchal society other marginalizations do exist. A Black woman is president, great, where do we talk about misogynoir? When do we address that Black women have to constantly prove that they're woman enough? Address that Black women are not allowed to be weak or fragile, that they're stereotyped as aggressive.

There were no cultures outside of western, there was no Latina Barbie or Muslim Barbie (from what I remember, I saw it at 9:30 at night).

What I picked out early on in the film that irked me personally was that there was one fat Barbie and one wheelchair Barbie. Fat Barbie did appear as a main side character multiple times, wheelchair Barbie for a few seconds.

If the Barbie message is that women can be whatever they want to be, then the fat Barbie and wheelchair user Barbie are both seen as occupations in a way. Both have the other privileged societal traits other than the ones shown on film (White, skinny, able bodied, western, etc.) Showing in some way that fat Barbie can only be fat, wheelchair user Barbie only a wheelchair user.

Besides the campiness and extremely queer undertones, there is no character that is outright queer. It's all undertoned but never outright. Stereotypical Barbie does give extremely aro/ace vibes, but that goes with the fact that Barbie as a franchise focuses on almost anything but romance. Plus the feminist message of how women do not need men to base their entire lives around, which is from heterosexism as well as misogyny.

Don't get me wrong, Alan seemed like a heavy third gender in the movie. "We do not have genitals" made me think of how trans and intersex bodies are different and that's okay. Homophobia and masculinity do not exist when Ken gets kissed on the cheeks. It's never outright though, because queerness is still seen as a mature topic. "Sexuality is mature" Ken is referred to as Barbies boyfriend guys come on.

Again, this isn't to say that I think the movie is bad. It tries to criticize itself in many aspects ("White Savior Barbie") and brings up that Barbie has negative consequences on body image as well. It's an incredibly fun movie on top of all of that. A perfect feminist movie would be a five hour movie at least because of how many different aspects it'd need to address. Its still okay to point out the flaws though so that way feminism can improve.

#random shit #barbie movie

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luminouslumity · 9 months

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THOUGHTS ON: BARBENHEIMER

Finally got the chance to see both (specifically, Barbie, Oppenheimer, and then Barbie again) and I'm glad I did! Watching them back-to-back was certainly an experience and I'm not even joking when I say they really made me think about life and all that it entails.

As someone who grew up on the old animated Barbie movies, I had a lot of fun watching the new film, especially when it came to all the doll jokes and references had me laughing more than once (Magic Earring Ken, anyone?). Kinda mad they didn't have any references to the animated movies though, or at least none that I'd noticed.

Speaking of Ken, wasn't sure about him being the villain at first, but I can see what they were trying to do and I thought it worked pretty well all things considered, that Kens have just as much of a right to live alongside the Barbies as the Barbies do them and not just in the shadows of each other. If this film is anti anything, I'd say it's anti-Patriarchy as well as anti-Matriarchy. Preachy, sure, but understandable. Really, I'm more annoyed with how this apparently went over so many people's heads even with how blatant it was; seriously, President Barbie even says the message of the film after the Kens fail, so how anyone could've misinterpreted it is beyond me! The only thing that comes to mind is when the Narrator says that the Kens will be treated just as well as women are treated in the real world, and to be fair, that statement alone can be interpreted in a lot of ways depending on certain factors, but I don't know, I feel like that should be a wake-up call more than anything.

Barbie herself was also really interesting, though throughout the film, I found myself wondering if she was meant to be the Original Barbie with an upgraded look or just a random Barbie who's basically just an amalgamation of all the others (like she says, she's what everyone else thinks of when they think of the doll). Either way, this certainly adds a whole new layer to the relationship between her and Ken because keep in mind, when the film says that Ken was created for Barbie, they mean it literally.

Going into a bit of history here, Ken Carson was created in response to the backlash Barbie was facing two years after her own creation for the horrific crime of... *checks notes* being single. Since then, Ken has had a few jobs of his own, but it's still nothing compared to Barbie's—this even becomes a joke in the Life in the Dreamhouse series, where the Ken in that series worships the ground Barbie walks on. Probably literally. This man didn't even get his own car until 2012! Then there was the whole seven-year break-up incident because Ken apparently didn't want to put a ring on it (yeah, Barbie has in-universe lore and it goes hard!) so keeping all this in mind, it's no wonder Ken seems to be as attached to Barbie as he is in the film, all while also struggling with his own identity as an individual.

Yes, I probably am looking too deep into a children's film about dolls coming into the real world. This is my life now.

The Mattel scenes were definitely one of my favorite things about the film, especially with how dedicated the CEO is when it comes to his job and how he genuinely wants what he believes is best for everyone, but my favorite part are definitely the scenes with Ruth, which absolutely had me crying! And hey, glad to see I was at least partially right! She made an appearance, just not in the scene I thought it was going to be (also, apparently the sweet old lady on the bench isn't even Barbara, it's costume designer Ann Roth).

Narrators also tend to be hit-or-miss for me, but I thought it worked really well in this film! I especially loved how self-aware the story is and how if you're going to try and make Barbie look ugly, Margot Robbie isn't the way to go. And the cutaway to Depressed Barbie? Hilarious, but now I low-key want that to be a thing lol! And just the world in general was super fun!

Honestly, if I had any complaints about the film, it would absolutely be the pacing. Sasha in particular seemed largely unnecessary and her turnaround to at least tolerating Barbie happened way too quickly, even if she did only want to help for her mom's sake. It would've been nice if the film had had at least one or two scenes where she realizes that while the Barbie brand has its issues that deserve to be addressed, it's also not as bad as what she'd originally thought it to be. And also, it would've been great to just see more of this world in general; after all, Barbie and Ken only spend time in LA for less than a day, and even then, it's only for a few hours at most.

Basically, I wish the film had been longer, but what we got was still great.

As for Oppenheimer, I never really have much to say about biopics, but I love history in general and am always fascinated when it comes to warfare and all of the ethical questions that come with it. This is also the first Nolan film I've actually watched, so I knew this was going to be an interesting time, at least. Let me start by saying that the special effects with the bomb dropping and tense silence afterwards were beautifully done and I thought the use of black-and-white for some scenes and color for others was a really nice touch too, as well as the fact that the film went beyond just WWII and that we get to see Oppenheimer deal with the guilt he'd faced afterwards. I also always forget that Einstein would've still been alive during the time most of the film takes place, so his appearance was certainly a surprise, but a pleasant one nonetheless. I was also wondering in what context the "I am become Death" line would come up, so the fact that the film actually addresses that it comes from Sanskrit rather than suggesting it originated from Oppenheimer himself was such a great detail! Overall, a great film about a very complicated man!

#barbie #oppenheimer #barbenheimer #my thoughts

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flukeoffate · 7 months

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Just some random thoughts about my own height and childhood.

I was 5’11” (roughly 181cm according to google) by the time I was 11 years old. Full grown woman at eleven.

I kinda want to know what it’s like to NOT feel like you are literally Robin Williams in the movie “Jack”, but you are a woman and somehow it feels even more unforgivable?

I looked like a grown adult in a children’s classroom. I wonder if other people have a better idea of what it feels like to grow up—I look at my sister’s kid, who is almost 13 and is still obviously a child, but a growth spurt very quickly on the way, and I’m like, wow. How are kids this short? He’s not short really, I’m just tall.

I didn’t feel like an ‘adult’ when I graduated high school. I grew up before I realized it was happening. I’d been taller than most of my teachers and my mother for years. I thought most or my peers saw me as an ogre with an anxiety problem and was into anime before it was cool, thus I was dubbed insane and childish by many people in high school. Maybe I was childish, but hey I was expected to take on adult responsibilities by the time I was 12—after all if you are adult sized, you are ready to help around the house, babysit grandma after school every day because she is senile and can’t even take herself to the bathroom anymore, and have all your homework done, before swim practice and dance class! Right? Well, what tween would NOT resort to anime or other visual media? I couldn’t handle more work. You crave distraction and fun stories are great for that kind of relief.

The point is, age wise, I was a child, and I was beholden to the rules and laws associated with childhood. Socially, people were prepared to treat me as an adult, one who often did not seem to belong. And so…after high school, I think I just turned into a person who felt like I needed permission from a higher power at all times to do things. I wasn’t rebellious. I felt like nothing had changed from school and so I followed any path that an ‘adult’ put before me. I always feel like I’m looking for approval from someone in charge. I’m still stuck in that mindset a bit and I’m nearly 40. I’m trying to break free of that mentallity…cuz I’m a fucking adult and I can’t keep looking at my peers and thinking: I must impress them with my poise, I must make myself smaller, I must use every masking technique I’ve ever learned to do with m blatant adhd just to make people like me. I keep thinking “I’m too irresponsible”, “I’m too loud”, “Now, I’m too antisocial.”

I think the Barbie Movie has me thinking about this a lot, given the plot and the characters. Like, I’m here wishing I could see myself in my teens. I have few photos. I wish I realized that I was actually really good looking…and frankly if I got past the fact that some of the peers i compared myself to weren’t ‘skinny’. They were still kids. I had regular thighs for my size. Other kids had thighs the width of my forearm. I developed a mild Barbie dislike, but not a hatred. I don’t hate dolls or Barbie at all. It was just weird. No one seemed my height till college and even then it was only a small portion of my friends.

Anyway, I’m trying to break free of all this nonsense. I’m an adult and I have a brain and ability to take my own life in my hands. I have recently replaced my ancient iMac with a top of the line model and and have reorganized my workspaces. I’m gonna work hard to get myself into some more art related pursuits, which might mean I’ll be going through an internet identity change. It’s time for a change. I want to make a little money from my art for once. I need to feel like…if my safety nets fell apart, I can climb back up.

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rescue-ram · 9 months

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tell us more about barbie, i live for the drama 👀

I will happily give spleen to my thoughts friend ❤️

I will start by being fair: absolutely everything about this movie is intentional and I respect that. A series of very deliberate artistic decisions were made, the actors put Their Whole Pussy into their performances and fully committed to the bit, this was probably the least stupid Barbie movie that could've been made. My two friends are both big into musical theater and loved it- if someone is the sort of person who laments the death of the Classic Hollywood Musical, I could 100% see them vibing with this film.

That being said, while I see the vision and respect the execution, it is just so aggressively Not My Thing I hated it. Zero anger in my heart in saying that! I just hate it and never want to see it ever again!

That being said! LENGTH. There were a number of scenes that just went on for way too long and could've been trimmed. The jokes were not that funny- they seriously did the same punchlines like 5 times in a row every time they had a joke, like just repeating the same bits. The ones that stand out as overdone were brewskis and horses, and the bit where they're kidnapping Barbies and deprogramming them with Twitter Feminism 101. I got it after the second one! They also kept repeating the same feminist bits over and over. And like there's two "touching" scenes that like, I got within 30 seconds but went on for a full 90. I zoned out hard in one scene and I can't even remember what was going on it was so boring.

Every character INCLUDING the human "real world" characters were shallow, uncanny, and unrealistic, which blurred the lines in a weird way. Like you see the Barbies and Kens being really weird and go "Ah, because they're dolls" but then very quickly all the humans are exactly the same?? At first I thought it was just the Mattel guys that were weird, but no, EVERY character is Not Human and I didn't like it!

I said this was the least stupid Barbie movie that could've been made, but this is still a stupid movie! Everyone involved knows this is stupid and is leaning into it and having fun but it is so so stupid! I feel stupid even complaining about some of the shit in this movie but like, they have this subplot where the Mattel guys want to put Barbie in a box, and it's ambiguous if it will actually send her back to Barbieland or if they're just going to tie her up and imprison her for all eternity?? And then it's literally never brought up again? And then the Mattel guys go to Barbieland by literally just rollerblading there so you don't need like Barbiemagic or something? I feel like a moron even mentioning it, it's intentionally stupid, but I don't like movies that remind me of how stupid they are!!

Also fully hated the feminism in this movie but I think that's just my own politics or something. Both my friends loved it- one wants to bring their husband to get him to understand feminism. It's just that deeply alienating thing of women being like "You have to wear makeup to be taken seriously but if you wear too much you're degraded, you have to flatter men but not be seen to try too hard, blah blah blah!" And I'm just like. Those are not real problems. Also I have never fucking worn makeup a day in my life and I wear men's clothes regularly and I've never felt mistreated I have always had positive working relationships with men and have a job I love and am good at. It just pisses me off in a vague way I can't really complain about when people talk about stuff like that because I hear many women express these thoughts and see even more agree but they are SO FOREIGN to my own experiences and reactions I cannot relate!!

I don't know, again I feel stupid but there's this big moment at the end where Barbie Designer Mom gets to pitch her big idea to Mattel and she wants "Ordinary Woman Barbie who's a mom with a normal job who just wants to wear a flattering top and feel okay about herself!" And it's treated as this big moment but the whole movie felt like YET ANOTHER IN A MILLION QUASI FEMINIST MEDIA PROJECTS where a woman can be anything she wants except butch!! That would be an actual shift if little girls were given a butch doll to project onto but oh my God this is stupid I'm terminating the thought. The gender politics in this movie are so overt but they're so shallow. Also there's some weird "gay men are basically women" coding I don't know how I'm meant to interpret??

This is LITERALLY a kids movie for adults. Aesthetically, thematically, on every level, this is not meant to challenge, it's meant to be fun and silly and give you a little message. Love and light to this movie's intended audience, I'm sure there are many many people who are going to enjoy this movie but I did not!!

#barbie

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beesbraindumps · 3 months

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What's up with the Barbie movie??

In light of the Golden Globes, let's talk about Barbie. It’s mind boggling to me how someone was able to take one of the most successful movies of the year and reduce it down to one thing “a classic doll with big boobies”.

It’s ridiculous. This reductionist perspective is not only absurd but also frustratingly predictable, considering the comment was made by a man.

I’m just so tired of women’s achievements being brushed off as if it was nothing. Oppenheimer made $850 million globally. Wanna know how much Barbie made? $1.36 billion.

Now I’m not shitting on Oppenheimer, but the two movies are in vastly different categories. A movie like Oppenheimer should rightfully stand on its own merits but due to the “barbieheimer” phenomenon, it just gave another reason to undermine women’s accomplishments.

And well the "barbieheimer" trend was cute and fun, it inadvertently creates yet another box for women's projects to fit into, reinforcing the notion that women must dilute their accomplishments to be more palatable to society. Another standard it should’ve conformed to.

Why do we always have to dilute ourselves to make society more comfortable? Women are always trying to conform to some kinda of box or standard but guess fucking what, the box is different everytime! You will never win.

Moreover, the backlash against the Barbie movie from some people (not gonna name names) were under the impression that it was an anti-men campaign because apparently when men aren’t the center of attention it means they are the antagonists. The main threat was the majority female cast of the Barbie movie, which shouldn’t come as a surprise, given its subject matter. Giving women the chance to share their narratives without men doing it for them.

The Barbie movie being about barbies (aka women), shocking.

For too long, men wrote women however they wanted (over-sexualized, insane, materialistic, clingy, and the list can go on) but simply put, they wrote us as they saw us with their own distorted portrayals. Yet here’s a classic taste of men not being able to taste their own medicine.

Meanwhile, critics argue that the only male characters in Barbie are shown in a negative light, demonstrating typical male behavior ( creepy, useless, dominant, ex). However, maybe they were given a new perspective, a woman's perspective. For once male toxicity is shown in major media lacking romanticization, which is why some view it as negative. When in reality, the rose coloured glasses were just removed.

However, this is more than just about the Barbie movie. It’s about the double standard between men and women, not just in Hollywood but also in our daily lives. More often than not I’ll see videos on the internet of men doing the bare minimum and the comment section is filled with “where can I find one like him??”, “brb sleeping on the highway”, “need someone to treat me like this''. News flash this isn't revolutionary, and if you saw a post about a woman doing all that you wouldn’t even think twice.

Doing the laundry, cooking dinner, watching their own child, all basic stuff. Yet, since these are all activities society is used to seeing women do, when a man does it we all basically trip over ourselves. So as some say, the bar is literally in hell.

Additionally, our perception of being treated right has become so warped from toxic media portrayals of relationships that someone showing basic consideration deserves awards. This is also affecting how young girls will view love and relationships, which is worrying considering the ‘teen shows’ that are out there now.

For that reason I think the honest portrayal of men and the relationship between Barbie and Ken is a good thing, giving younger girls the chance to see that you don’t have to be in a relationship at all, especially one that doesn’t make you happy.

In conclusion, the discourse surrounding Barbie and its reception highlights the need for a more nuanced understanding of gender dynamics in media and society at large. Women's achievements should be celebrated on their own terms, free from the constraints of outdated stereotypes and unfair comparisons. Only then can we begin to truly appreciate the diversity and complexity of women's experiences and contributions.

#barbie #brain dump #dont take this too seriously #golden globes

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denimbex1986 · 8 months

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'There’s a real-life Barbenheimer — and she’s been having a wild few months.

Barbara “Barbie” Oppenheimer has experienced an exciting summer amid the double-feature of Greta Gerwig’s “Barbie” and Christopher Nolan’s “Oppenheimer” that sparked a mashup obsession on the internet.

The 68-year-old grandmother of five is owning her name, which has taken the world by storm.

“The Barbenheimer craze has added some more fun to my already good life. It’s been great fun,” Oppenheimer told The Post. “I’m having a lot of fun with the craze. It’s always important to embrace the serendipity in life, isn’t it?”

While her friends think the double feature is a “wonderful coincidence,” Oppenheimer said that many strangers are taken aback when she introduces herself.

“Most people don’t believe me when I say my name. They think I’m joking,” she told The Post.

Oppenheimer, from Newton, Mass., said that her two sons like to get in on the joke as well.

“We were all just together to celebrate my husband’s 70th birthday when the Slate interview broke, and of course, they were critiquing my responses,” she said, referencing a recent interview on the site.

“My older son bought me a Barbenheimer T-shirt for my October birthday but was disappointed that I already had one,” she shared.

“Most of my grandchildren are too young to understand the craze, but my oldest granddaughter, who is only 7 and a past big Barbie fan, was intrigued.”

In that interview, Oppenheimer said she was sure her “summer of fame” would go by fast, but she finds the whole thing “pretty funny.”

“I had college friends around the world texting me that weekend when they came out, with the whole schmear, you know … ‘the bomb and the bombshell,'” Oppenheimer told Slate. “It was a brilliant thing that they launched them together. It really brought people back into movie theaters.”

She might go by Barbara now, but there was a time when she was a true Barbie girl and went by the memorable moniker.

“You know, I started as a Barbie, spelled just like Barbie. Because in those days, everyone wanted to be like Barbie. Then when I got to be 12, I changed it to Barby, with a Y, and then I became Barb,” she told the outlet. “I grew up in Milwaukee, it was the Midwest—of course, I was Barb. But then when I graduated and got my fellowship at Mass General, I went by Barbara. I was so professional and serious.”

While many moviegoers couldn’t decide which movie to see first, Oppenheimer went to the opening weekend of “Oppenheimer” since, in a possibly not-so-surprising twist, her husband is related to J. Robert Oppenheimer, the man dubbed “the father of the atomic bomb” who is at the center of the film.

“My husband’s father is third cousins to J. Robert, so we really wanted to see how they treated his story,” she shared.

While the famed physicist is a “distant relation,” she still found that he was portrayed well in the film.

“Well, the first thing I heard before I even saw it was that it’s three hours long, and you’re like, ‘Oh, boy.’ But I didn’t find that a barrier at all,” Oppenheimer said. “I thought they did a good job. It really gets into the moral dilemmas that Oppenheimer faced. Did he face them head-on at the time? That’s a good question.”

She continued, “I come out of the science fields. I was a professor in the health sciences. And so watching him deal with these questions, and the politicization of it … I thought some of the most interesting scenes were about the patriotism at Los Alamos, as the staff felt at the time.”

Oppenheimer is now retired, but she was a speech and language pathology professor at Boston University — a job she said she took “a little more seriously than Ken took beach.”

She added, “But I was pleased with the movie because it gets people thinking about these questions, and what role he played in history. He was a hero to many, but he was also the subject of a lot of anger. I mean, I’ve always heard in my husband’s family, whether you claimed him as a relative or didn’t really depended on how you felt about things.”

About two weeks after seeing the Christopher Nolan movie, Oppenheimer and her husband went to see “Barbie” — and neither film disappointed the couple.

“We loved both of them in different ways. I wasn’t sure my husband would like ‘Barbie,’ but he laughed out loud through the whole thing,” Oppenheimer said.

The couple didn’t wear pink to “Barbie,” but Oppenheimer is seeing it again with a group of friends who all plan to dress in the trendy color — and she’s going to pull out her Barbenheimer shirt for the occasion.

And while she loved both movies, she said she couldn’t decide which one she liked better.

“They’re so different. I think of myself — though I’m sure I’ve fallen behind the times — as a feminist, because of the generation I came out of. So I was tickled pink, I might say, that they put Barbie in the Barbie world and then Barbie in the real world. I laughed out loud practically through the whole thing,” she shared.

“‘Oppenheimer’ is more serious — not that feminism isn’t. I do think there were some serious notes … women today stand on the shoulders of their mothers, who lived the Barbie life.

“I can’t choose. I’m glad I saw both.”'

#Barbie #Oppenheimer #Barbenheimer #Greta Gerwig #Christopher Nolan

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neverendingcomplaints · 9 months

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That wasn't it.

This has been a spring/summer of surprises for movies for me. I wasn't expecting to like The Little Mermaid live action, but it turned out to be the best one imo - not that that is saying very much since these live actions are just blatant cash grabs but I would watch it again (except Scuttlebutt because). And I was super super hype for Barbie, but what a disappointment.

SPOILERS

Why was it so rushed? I felt no pay-off for anything because everything was just happening so fast. I didn't care nor do I understand the importance of America and her daughter to the story. They should have had more adventures in the real world, I think, instead of skipping back and forth like it was nothing. Also just in general, how dare they waste America Ferrera!

I don't care if it's a "choice" or not, the whole Take Sh*t Verbatim From Twitter or TikTok and Put It Directly Into People's Mouths thing is just cringey. The only people who talk like that, truly, are academics and maybe some university students who just started smelling themselves after taking a social sciences course. I'm sure there's a Professor Barbie but I'm pretty sure that wasn't Margot Robbie's Barbie. And coming out of a TWEEN'S mouth...That's not satire or absurdity, it's just bad and lazy writing to me. I think it let's Hollywood off the hook because why think of clever, entertaining ways to show all of this when they can just lift some cool tweets and academic work and throw that on the screen as lines? Easy Button!

Also, I know they were going for nostalgia and they are trying to sell us everything everywhere, but it was such a blatant commercial for Mattel. People are gonna run out and try to find Midge and Allan and and the Palazzo pants or whatever. I have never felt so uncomfortably aware of product placement and ADS in my life. But played for funzies tho *wink wink*!!!

I feel like I get what they were trying to do with the Ken stuff and Ryan Gosling was a FORCE so I'm not as unforgiving there, but it still felt kinda off to me. They sorta had the right idea but I definitely had a few Kens for my Barbies and they were together. They both hopped in Barbie's Jeep with Barbie and her friends and they kissed and hugged and even though I didn't have any of Barbie's homes, they lived together. I feel like some of the stuff with Ken didn't feel true to my experience of playing with them as a little girl - of course it was mostly about Barbie, but I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that she was just hanging with the girlies all the time. I get it - it was supposed to be an exaggerated reverse of the Patriarchy but I don't think anything would have been lost if the Barbies had treated Kens more like say, absurd 50s housewives than annoying puppies who whine and nip at your heels no matter how much you try to tame/reassure them.

People are saying it was just some summer fun but the dialogue suggests otherwise.

Ugh. I was hoping for another Mean Girls or Heathers - unapologetically fun and feminist with a strong message, iconic because it just undeniably IS. Instead, it's this pink plastic empowerment ad with some really funny moments (most of which were already out and about before the movie hit theaters) that felt kinda like forced iconic. Like the equivalent of companies "standing with" BLM or turning rainbow for Pride but it's actually just empty virtue signaling so we will all please keep buying their products please.

Really liked the beginning in Barbie Land, Ryan Gosling was the absolute perfect Ken and I've known it since day one because that man can act and kills comedy, kinda love seeing Michael Cera randomly in stuff lately, Margot IS THE BARBIE, and yes I'm sorry Midge was absolutely a creepy idea but there was no way Midge was not gonna be creepy because the whole process of pregnancy and giving birth is a little bit of a horror story if we're being honest. But that's all I got.

#Barbie movie #movies #disappointed #complainin #spoilers

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akireu-13 · 9 months

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youtube

i really like this video on the b4rbie movie. i did like the movie, to clarify. i thought it was fun, i thought some of the feminist stuff was really good. spoilers ahead obv, but i really enjoyed the section where she has a breakdown and talks about all the contradictory stuff women are supposed to be. i liked the section where shes talking to ruth about wanting to be human and to be a woman despite it all. i liked that part of the message was that a lot of men need to fuckin get hobbies instead of their personality being Woman-Liker. i LOVED the songs being camp and mostly actually made for and about the film instead of using generic pop songs (tho the billie eilish song was jarring and took me out of it).

However. i did think it was pretty,,, superficial. some of that was because its a corporate product and there wouldve been restrictions on what gerwig could do. like she cant criticize the mattel board too much, because it would "make the company look bad." like mattel refused to call the movie feminist, and i think theres an aversion to calling the movie anything too concretely subversive, maybe because that turns the "ive been saying this for years!!" aspect into not relatability, but being behind the times, or worse, performative. which it is.

BUT i also think it really played into the Girlboss feminist schtick. like that in the end they went back to a matriarchy. i dont think the film was saying matriarchy bad, and im not even trying to say that it would be equally as bad as patriarchy bc i dont know nor do i care. but i do think it had that vibe of "men are stupid, right ladies?!? we know best with our woman power ;)" which feels a little weird tbh. even the little comments like implying that a president would NEVER dress like that or a woman would have to be BRAINWASHED to want to be a housewife is uncomfortable to say the least. the final gynocology joke at the end felt really reductive even with a trans woman in the movie. it felt weird for her to go to the queer-coded b4rbies to get help and then they stop mattering when they arent helping cishet b4rbie society. and no butch b4rbies, obviously.

it felt like they were going "see? woman power!! but dont forget to be respectable!!" despite halfway through talking about how hard it is to be respected as a woman. and this is most egregious when they have sasha going on an honestly reasonable and well-founded rant about the negative social impact of b4rbie which is then not really brought up in a meaningful way again. shes played for laughs and its only addressed as a "we hear your criticisms but theyre very silly bc barbie stands for woman power so there. 😊" like she calls b4rbie a fascist and thats a whole joke, which is really fucking weird tbqh.

but my point is that its ok to be critical of the way women are treated and what is expected of women, and its ok to be weird or ugly or whatever!! up until the point it makes you ACTUALLY ugly or tooOo much of a deviant (like dressing in revealing clothing as a professional, or criticising consumerism which is just a silly thing to do because why would you EVER-), in which case you just hate women and make the cause look bad.

anyway, i thought the movie was fun. it looked great, the soundtrack was fun, the casting choices were pretty good, and i liked the real talk about how hard being a woman can be. at the same time, it was a very long ad for b4rbie. it was corporate, and mostly sold a very girlboss, shallow look at feminism. a good entry point for like, men who think women arent oppressed but love their girlfriend enough to TRY to understand, or for middle aged women looking to hear something nice about their existence, or people looking for a fun summer movie with a few funny bits. not a great movie for film nerds or riotgrrls or trans people or anti-capitalists.

#memoth #not gonna tag this properly bc i dont. want to attract ppl here but still #feel free to reply or send an ask with ur takes btw :)#sorry this was so long #watch the video btw its great #Youtube

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bunniewon · 3 years

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“mina!! that’s so cool” five year old you gushed. play dates at mina’s house were always fun, you never ran out of things to do. mina always had the newest and coolest toys, the latest movies ready to watch in her fancy home theater, and a bunch of snacks to eat until your belly started to ache. it wasn’t hard to impress you, and mina liked that. her family didn’t care about what accessories her new barbie came with, but you did. you were so nice, always telling her how cool she is and how much you love being around her. so at five years old mina decided having you around was a good thing. she decided that she needed you around.

at twelve years old, mina was finally old enough to understand the concept of wealth. mina knew that she was able to get all those nice things growing up because of her wealth, and that you didn’t because of your lack of wealth. she knew that she was able to go to a fancy private middle school because of her wealth, and that other kids went to regular schools because they weren’t wealthy. well regular kids besides you of course, but that’s only because of your connection to her and her wealth.

in her eyes that meant that people like you are below her, they don’t get nice things unless they have someone like her around. the other kids would sometimes treat you bad knowing you weren’t like them. mina didn’t like that, she didn’t like you sad. you being sad meant you couldn’t make her happy, so she made you happy so you both could be happy. people stopped messing with you when they figured out that they’d have to deal with mina too, and dealing with her meant they would get in trouble. at twelve years old mina decided that she didn’t just need you to feel good, you needed her too!

a year later, you two were finally teenagers, and when you’re teenagers looks become important. “he called my forehead big! and he rejected me” she cried into your shoulder. before, mina never had any problems with her looks, she was always the cutest girl in the class, so why was she having so much problems with them now? she had finally worked up the courage to confess to her crush, only for him to insult and then reject her. it hurt a lot, but you were there for her, and you always made her feel better.

“mina! that boy is stupid anyways you don’t need him” you rubbed her back gently, doing your best to calm the crying girl. “and i already told you, you’re the prettiest girl i know” mina smiled at your words, you always told her what she wanted to hear, you always stood by her no matter what. that’s why when that same boy who rejected her confessed to you, she knew she didn’t have to worry. at thirteen years old mina decided that you would do anything for her.

next year, at fourteen years old, mina decided that wasn’t true. you were always supposed to take her side, and you didn’t. after getting into an altercation with some girls in the classroom, mina got in trouble, and she wouldn’t have if you had just lied. though it didn’t matter since her dad didn’t let her get into any real trouble, but she felt betrayed. lately you had been doing a lot of things that she didn’t like. not only did you tell the truth in favor of the girls, you started dressing up all fancy just so you could get attention from the boys in the class. mina blamed it on your family finally starting to make more money.

“you know y/n, why do you act so fake at school?” she asked. the two of you were hanging out at your house which was a pretty rare occurrence, but her dad didn’t want her home due to some business stuff. “you’re always so quiet and shy at school, you don’t act like that when you’re with me! be more like yourself” you just blinked at her statement.

“of course i’m not like that with you, i’m comfortable with you mina” you told her. that’s right, all those other people didn’t make you feel comfortable like she did. in fact, she was always your only friend. so at fourteen, mina decided you only needed her. you didn’t want to make new friends, you only wanted her. so why did so many people want you?

at age fourteen through fifteen, mina realized something. even though you didn’t want new friends, people seemed to gravitate towards you as if you were a magnet. she had to admit that puberty did wonders on you, but she didn’t think you were better looking than her. so why did boys always jump to ask you to parties? why did girls always invite you and not her? you always denied, giving them the excuse that you weren’t comfortable without her with you. so they started to include her, only to be disappointed when they saw you didn’t tag along. why did so many people like you? you weren’t nearly as rich as her yet you were so popular. you surely weren’t pretty enough to hide the fact that you had cheap clothes, right?

“mina, did you hear? your little friend’s family business finally took off. isn’t that nice?” her older brother told her, and though she responded to him with positive comments, her head was anything but that. with your parents' newfound wealth you got even more popular. you even somehow got prettier. you no longer needed mina’s wealth and status, but that didn’t mean you didn’t need her.

going into highschool, mina had a plan. you may be pretty, you may be smart, and even wealthy now, but you weren’t out going at all. during your first year, you suddenly became immersed in school work. the little social battery you had completely disappeared. hell, you could barely even hang out with her. that didn’t stop people from wanting to be your friend, but it did change how they went against it.

“minako! do you think i have a chance with your friend y/n?”

“her? she’s so weird! don’t tell anyone i said this but.. she’s like really weird! i’m only friends with her cause i have to” that was only one of many stories she told to people. it would keep some away, but not everyone was stupid enough to believe baseless rumors. you being completely clueless to the rumors was just a bonus. things went so well until he came along.

mina thinks shirabu kenjiro is annoying. he’s rude, not all that cute, and doesn’t know when to mind his business. why the hell would you want to be friends with him out of all people? at first mina didn’t mind since he never caused her too much trouble. he was an upperclassman who was dedicated to studying and volleyball, he didn’t have any time for you. she had more annoying matters to worry about anyways, this persistent first year called reina wanted to be your friend, and she wasn’t giving up. while she was dealing with getting rid of reina, you and shirabu got closer. mina never expected you two to actually get together. sure, she knew you had a crush, she didn’t think he liked you back. when he came to her asking for her to help, mina tried her best to get him to stop. of course shirabu wasn’t that stupid though, and of course reina never gave up.

reina was easy to deal with, mina actually found herself enjoying her presence. shirabu on the other hand wasn’t, no matter how much she tried, he wouldn’t go away. it wasn’t easy to control who gets to you with him around. him and his stupid volleyball friends ruined her plans. even after shirabu left you, his presence still lingered.

the plan worked for your second year of school, and with reina being as blind as she is, it was easy to continue her plan into senior year, even with her being at a completely different school.

at eighteen years old, mina swore things would change. she didn’t need you anymore, she’d get popular on her own. eventually she would leave you, with or without reina. why wouldn’t things go her way for once?

you making friends was fine, especially if they were going to be like reina, but they weren’t. there must be something in volleyball that makes you annoying, cause mina can’t stand volleyball boys. the moment she met atsumu, suna, and sakusa she knew that it wouldn’t be easy to fool them. she couldn’t stop them from exposing her true colors to you, she would just have to change her ways, maybe she could actually be a good friend to you. she had to be more like you.

but seeing how no one wanted to talk to her, or even spared her a glance ticked her off. seeing shirabu ticked her off, all the snarky comments and looks he and his friends gave her. seeing how everyone crowded around you to make sure you were okay ticked her off. then and there, mina decided that she didn’t need you anymore. even a week later when you decided to end your friendship, she knew she’d be fine without you.

# The List

twenty-four

↳ series masterlist : next

fun facts:

y/n and minako’s fathers are business partners which is how they met!!

minako has three older brothers

the school mina transferred to was actually seijoh! though she never got to meet any of the boys

anais’ notes 🌸:

here’s mina’s backstory? or just her history with y/n lol. there’s bits and pieces missing, especially dealing with reina and her leaving

this chapter isn’t muchhh but lmk what you think! and what you think will happen. also i thought about y/n posting ss of what happened, and it actually fits perfectly to what i wore had planned so lol

but enjoy the chapter besties, i posted it a little early today just for you ♥️

taglist: @hyunsamour @satorinnie @nachotrash @chai-tea-isnt-real @4evahevah @thechaosoflonging @ssuna @kiyoomi-my-beloved @lilith412426 @sunflowersdaydreams13 @tojiuvr @frogekko @hoezilla22 @borpcorp @sakusasimpbot @bbangjuice @juvenillia @daphnxy @girlqrush @hxked @iyvoryxx @loveprisms @wolfdeamonghoul @kac-chowsballs @ysatrap @call-me-lulu @alpaca-fanfics @witchyniche @rollignthundere @strawbberyys @dumdumtaro @ittybittywallflower @iheartkuroorin @tdntu0 @peepeepoopoot @doctorspencereid @lucyrocks86 @yourlocalbabybird @jojowantstocry @sunarintarouscrustysock @bruhmoment23 @achillean-affection @rinwhy @moonlightmiya @darlingkuroo @bakugouswh0r3 @shionin @stranger-pennywise @itssaturdaytoday @blueowl51 @deathfreak45 @90s-belladonna @ellesalazar

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ellana-ravenwood · 4 years

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Can the Batman get flustered ? - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader

Synopsis : Batman has a reputation of always being impassive. Of being very in control of his emotions. But of course, you being his wife, you know his secrets and weak spots... And apparently, sending him dirty texts while you guys are in public definitely works very well to fluster him /Drabble-Minific.

You know that Tik Tok trend where people send a dirty text to their s/o while they’re in public ? I don’t know why I find it so funny and all, but today during my lunch break I was scrolling through the app and fell on a few of those and...boom. This story was born haha. Written in half an hour while I was eating pasta, I hope you’ll like it nonetheless :

TW : SLIGHTLY Nsfw. I mean. The subject itself is “dirty texts” so ya know haha. No actual texts will be shown, but insinuation will.

My master list : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

******

Not amused.

One. Two. Three. Fo-

Here it goes.

He hears the little “beep” of his phone, notifying him that he just received a text.

Not any text though.

A text from a family member. It was a very specific “beep”, for when one of his kids, you, or Alfred were sending him a text.

You’re a little disappointed he changed the alert sound back to that boring “beep” it has always been.

You rather liked, when Jason pranked him and instead put a recording of himself saying “dingityding motherfucker, ya got a message from one of us”.

It wasn’t very tasteful for sure, and yeah, you probably shouldn’t’ve found it so funny...But solely for the face your husband and the people he was talking to made, it was all worth it.

So what if you were nodding along to Bruce’s sermon as he was scolding your son, while simultaneously, when your husband wasn’t looking, giving two thumbs up to Jason ?

Anyway. Here was the family “beep”. And here it goes.

A smile to the people he was talking to meaning : “Apologies, I have to take this.” as he takes his phone out of his pocket.

Not that it surprised anyone. He was Bruce Wayne, a busy billionaire who owned multiple enterprises and who was constantly on the move to something new. His phone ringing wasn’t exactly something special.

Him answering during a conversation wasn’t either.

Not only did he have the reputation of being a rather busy bee, but he was also known as quite a protective father. His children were not present at the gala that night, meaning any calls or texts could be an emergency from them.

Of course, nobody even suspected himbo Bruce Wayne to be the scary Batman, so no one could quite understand how worried Bruce could get about his kids. Yet Bruce Wayne has been a family man long enough by then for everyone to know he was a “doting father”.

The fact he always protected them from too much media coverage, or how angry he would get when someone would be a little too chummy with them purely by interest...

You always found it sweet.

That he cared so much about his family that even those not knowing him at all, even those only seeing his “Brucie Wayne” persona (minus the Playboy side he gave up long ago when deciding to make it official with you) noticed.

Of course, you knew he wasn’t always the perfect father. Or husband. But the fact he always tried so hard, and no matter what, always cared so much (maybe even too much ?) made everything worth it.

Ah, but today wasn’t about how sometimes, it was a little difficult to be Batman’s wife.

Today, it was about how fun it could actually be.

Like right now, as he excused himself and took his phone out to see what the text he just received said.

He was reading it now. And suddenly...

His eyes widened, his face turned a light shade of red, he hurriedly hid his phone’s screen, and cough a little to hide how hot he suddenly felt.

“Are you alright, Bruce ?”

One of the man he was talking to asked, and with an awkward smile (very unlike him), he answered :

“Yes, yes everything is ok. Haha. The um, the children.”

The man nods, and says something like : “Aaah children, never cease to worry us right ?” and Bruce chuckles. Of this utterly fake chuckle only you knew was fake.

His real laugh sounded nothing like that.

A few more seconds pass, before Bruce excuses himself, saying he has to go check something, and...Finally.

Finally, his eyes are searching for you.

Finding you easily amongst everyone else.

His slight frown, his rosy cheeks who would stay this color for a little while still, and the way he walked towards you with incredible resolve...How adorable.

“I bet you find this funny, mm ?”

“No idea what you’re talking about, dear.”

Your small smile is infuriating. And oh, oh how Bruce wished he didn’t love it as much as he did. Oh how he wished he could actually be mad at you for sending him such a thing, in such a public place.

“You need to stop doing that.”

“Doing what, exactly ?”

“Sending me -he lowers his voice and continues- sending me those, things.”

“Things ?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

You smile at him, coyly. But he can see the mischievous spark in your eyes. And he scoffs, frustrated that you always seem to easily get to him.

Nobody does that. Only you.

Sure, his kids will sometimes get under his skin just for the sake of it. Or could have rather hurtful words if they weren’t feeling well. But he was always able to control his emotions in those cases.

The Batman was always so impassive. He always looked so in control of his emotions. And Bruce worked for years and years to achieve this. To be able to hide it all deep within him, to pretend he’s not feeling anything, and stay neutral.

But you...You always burned through his very being. Wether it was because you smiled at him, or send him a rather dirty text in the middle of a crowded charity ball, as he was talking to some of the most powerful people in Gotham.

Oh. Oh this was a treat. A flustered Bruce. It wasn’t often, you could get him like that. And it was such a treat.

He can see you’re enjoying this. And passed the initial shock of you telling him such dirty things in your texts, he can see how funny and rather sexy this entire thing could be.

If only, if only he could control his emotions when around you.

But he can’t. He can’t because he loves you too much. And because you know exactly how to play him (to be fair, he also knew exactly how to play you, and could drive YOU crazy if he wanted to, too...each had a turn, you guess).

He bites the inside of his lips, as he usually does when he’s slightly amused, yet a bit annoyed. Yes. That was a mood that was fairly frequent with Bruce. Especially when it came to you.

You always knew exactly which buttons to push to rile him up, to fluster him, to exasperate him to no end, too.

And when he bit the inside of his lips, it was when he felt a mix of amusement, and annoyance.

To be honest, that was exactly what you were looking for to get out of him.

And sending him a dirty text in public always worked. You loved, the flustered way he reacted. The flushed cheeks, the blabbering and how it took him a little bit to regain countenance while usually it’d only take him a few seconds to hide his feelings.

You smile at him again, happy you still have any effect on him and...

Ah. And there it was. Passed the initial shock of receiving such a text, and the slight annoyance at you trying to fluster him...the smile. A genuine and soft smile. One only always directed at you. One that showed you, and everyone around, just how much Bruce Wayne loved you.

He throws an arm around your waist, and says :

“So. Should we get out of here ?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Another smile. Genuine. Making everything worth it.

The hardships, but also this sort of simple moments.

When Bruce Wayne could act like a “normal” man, and get flustered as his wife send him sexy texts while they were in public, and very crowded places.

Bruce smiles at you. Genuinely. Yes. You could always get to him. And, frankly, even if he loved to complain about it...He wouldn’t have it any other way.

And now ? Now he was definitely ready to go try out what you suggested in that god forsaken text.

Why do you chose such moment do to this ?!

One. Two. Three. Fo-

Like clockwork.

He was in an important business meeting, but everyone here recognized that special “beep”, the one Jason oh so loved to change up to ridiculous things.

It was even worst lately, as he started a “game” with his siblings : “Whoever can get their hands on dad’s phone and replace all his notification sounds with something stupid, wins”. Needless to say, your children’s competitive side was driving your husband crazy.

It was rather funny, to watch him, each mornings as he was getting ready to leave for work, getting slightly unnerved as he made sure his alarms hadn’t been changed (your children could be sooooo sneaky).

Tim won, when he slyly and sneakily replaced the “beep” with...that same “beep” a few times, as to not make his father suspicious, only for, after the third “beep”, the phone screaming the main theme from the “Barbie : Thumbelina” movie. Damn.

Your kids were geniuses.

It was hilarious, to see your husband’s face suddenly turning pale.

Ah but your children, all genius that they were, were still amateurs.

They couldn’t get him to feel as mortified as you could, when you pulled this particular little trick on him...

Annoying him ? Making him feel embarrassed for a few seconds ? Exasperating him to no end ? That, they were always good at. But he would always regain his countenance fast.

But what you did ? Haha. Aaah it would stay on his mind for long after the event, and would most definitely...Fluster him.

Flustered.

Not a state the great Bruce Wayne was in often.

And most of the time, you were the source of the “flustering”.

Like right now, as he was in an important meeting, and heard his phone “beep”.

The “family beep”.

Unfortunately for him, it was one of “those texts”. That you just send because well, maybe you were a little evil ? Maybe you liked, to fluster him when he was in public ? To show people he was actually human ?

He looked at his phone, straightened up in his chair and...Of course, he guessed that you must be around.

And there you were indeed. Right outside the room.

He quickly glanced at you through the glass walls of the conference room.

You saw him readjust his pants, and you knew you definitely got to him today. But his reaction wasn’t that grand. Maybe he had um...A little “pants being too tight” problem, but it was clear he could easily hide it. And he got hold of his face rather fast.

Still, it was very entertaining, how clearly bothered he was. How unable to focus on the meeting he was. Only you though, who knew him better than anyone else, would notice the shift in his behavior.

It wasn’t enough, though. And he wasn’t looking at you anymore. That wouldn’t do.

You decided to give him the coup de grace and slipped to the restroom to um...Take a nice picture of yourself, let’s say that.

You went back to wait outside the conference room, where you’d have a GREAT view of him. And of his reaction. That was certainly going to be...Something.

“Beep”. The family “beep”.

It’s uncanny, how Bruce never suspects you’re going to trick him TWICE in a row. He should though. You often do it.

Ah but his fatherly instincts always get the best of him, and when he hears that specific “beep”, he can’t stop but look. In case anyone needs him.

He should really find a “beep” just for you, shouldn’t he ? Then again, even then, even with the knowledge that you LOVE to send him dirty text while he’s in public, he’d still jump on the notification. Just in case something happened, you know ?

Nothing happened today. Well. Except for your little restroom trip.

He barely takes a look at the photo you send him, that his eyes widen, he spits the drink he was taking all over the papers in front of him, and he slams his phone screen first on the table (shattering it in the process).

“Um...are you okay, mister Wayne ?”

His associates and employees are concerned. For good reasons. And Bruce hastily tries to dry his paperwork, and apologize saying it’s nothing, that they’re all doing a great job and to continue, please.

They do. Writing this incident off as yet another one of their boss’ eccentricities (as far as they were concerned, there were lots of them).

And you are LIVING. It’s always nice, you can get such reaction out of him.

He looks at you again. And as the meeting went on, for ten more excruciating minutes, he kept looking at you, although he tried really hard to focus on what was being said.

Oh well. He’d ask Lucious for a recap.

His eyes also kept going to his shattered phone, playing that photo over and over in his head...Finally, the meeting was over, and he rushed out.

No one was surprised, they all saw you waiting patiently (haha) outside. They all liked “Mrs. Wayne”, you were nice, and always lifted their boss’ spirit.

And they knew that when you were around, it was usually to pick him up. So yes. It wasn’t a surprised when he hastily said goodbye, and went to you.

“You need to stop doing that !”

You don’t even bother answering, smiling at him in a mischievous almost evil way. And you kiss him on the lips. A simple, very chaste peck. That light his heart on fire.

It’s crazy, the effect you have on him. No matter how much he tries to keep himself in check. Of course, he has the same effect on you. And to be honest, he flusters you much more than you fluster him.

After all, rare are the perfect occasions to send him dirty texts in moments that will fluster him. If you did it in any other time, he’d just smile and immediately go to you. Or answer with an equally heated text (when he was away, sexting was totally a thing).

More often than not, he was the one in control. Oh but when you could get to him...When you could get to him, you REALLY got to him. And if anyone else would notice how truly flustered he got, they wouldn’t recognize him.

But you knew him. You knew how sweet and soft he could be. How many people had the wrong ideas of him. And how adorable it was, when you got him all hot and bothered in that way.

How, no matter how much he tried, you always got to him, during those moments. And how much it meant.

How much it meant.

It meant that you were his only one. That nobody understood him more than you. And that honestly, no matter how annoyed, flustered and such he would get...he was just always feeling a little happy nonetheless.

Yes.

It meant a lot, that you knew him that well. And that only you, with a few well placed words, could fluster him so.

In the Watchtower.

This was rather dangerous.

Which added even more spices to everything.

Not that usually, it wasn’t “dangerous”. So far, you did it to him while he was in a meeting, at a gala, not far from many paparazzis...

There had always been a sort of danger, to you sending this kind of texts to him while in public.

But today...Ah today there was even more.

Because today, you guys were in the Justice League’s watchtower.

And there were MANY people, in that place, that could easily take a peak at what Bruce had on his phone. And that would NEVER leave it down that the Batman was receiving such filth from his wife.

That’s why you did it. And also because that very same morning, Bruce had been a little too grumpy and unpleasant, and you wanted to take a little revenge on him.

It was rare, really, that he would be a jerk to you or his kids nowadays. But sometimes. Just sometimes...Well. He wasn’t a perfect being. He had many flaws. And he could be a bit of a dick, at times. Even to you and your children.

Hence, the well deserved little revenge you were about to get (not that you really needed a reason to want him flustered...but here, with all your superhero friends, it was a particular treat).

One. Two. Three. Fo-

“Beep”. The specific family one.

Batman was sitting at the tip of the meeting table. You were sitting a few seat from him, a wide evil grin already plastered on your face. And all your best friends were around the table, discussing plans to secure Earth a little more from intergalactic attack.

“Excuse me for a minute.”

Your husband says. And no one is surprised. They all recognize the “family beep”. And despite the reputation he dragged for years, they also all know what his family means to him...

Clark is right there, slowly leaning towards Bruce, and you know he’s about to ask if the kiddos are alright. Turns out, Clark Kent is an amazing uncle. And friend. He worries a lot about “y’all”, very often.

And oh, oh this was going to be fun.

At the very moment Bruce’s eyes see your name on his phone, and what is the content of your text, his eyes widen, turn to Clark and...

“What the hell Bruce ?”

Your husband, by pure instinct, shoved Clark’s face away, while at the same time hiding his phone in his pocket again.

Clark could’ve avoided it easily, you knew. But he probably wasn’t really expecting the Batman to get weirdly panicky and shove him away like that ?

“You were-...Too close.”

Bruce says a bit abruptly, trying really hard to hide how worked up he feels after he read what you send him. He avoids your look like the plague, and pretends as if this little incident didn’t happen, returning to discussing plans.

The incident passed fast, and although Clark was a bit sour about it, he didn’t ask further. He guessed yes, he was a little too close ? He just wanted to be sure whoever send the text was alright.

And oh. Oh that whoever was definitely alright.

Because it was you. And this entire scene unfolded to your utter delight. Bruce abruptness and such was very much like him to all his friends. But you...You saw beyond that.

You saw how rosy his cheeks got under his mask. And how his eyes kept wandering to you, even as he was working on something very important.

You saw how truly flustered he got. So flustered in fact, that he couldn’t think of a clever way out of why he shoved his friends away, but that he was “too close”.

A little unlike Bruce.

Or was it really ? Was it truly unlike him, or just unlike the idea so many people had of him ? Because you...

You knew the real Bruce. And sometimes, he could be clumsy and shy and stumble on his words. He could be awkward and cute, all flustered and blushy.

He could be...He was so many things.

And so many sides of him were absolute secrets. Secrets only you and your children knew.

You were privy to the most secret parts of him.

The adorable ones that would get flustered by a dirty text send in public.

But also the very sexy one that would later act upon it...

He could act annoyed, embarrassed and like he was mad at you all he wanted. You knew he secretly LOVED it, when you took this kind of risk.

And oh. Oh how you knew.

Really ?! In front OF MY SALAD ?!

It was a “family and friends” barbecue. One of those occurrences that happen very rarely, when your entire circle of close friends and family is free.

One of those very rare occurrences where you could all meet up, and have a relaxing time. Today, a barbecue.

The summer heat was heavy, and you couldn’t help but smile as you looked at your kids and Clark’s son, Jon, playing in the pool.

Jason and Jon were having a fight against Tim and Damian, and you weren’t sure it was a very fair one...Up until Tim kicked his brother in the nuts, and Jason fell in the water, cursing him.

You probably should’ve told them to “play nice”, but then Jason emerged from the water and grabbed both his little brothers and...It was clearly all in good fun. Jon was bursting in laughter, cheering along with Duke and Cass for whoever they were siding with to win.

Ah. Ah you lived for days like this. When you could all pretend to be normal. Then again, you would change your lifestyle for no others.

The vigilante thing, making Gotham (and by extension the World) a better place...this was what you chose. What you all chose.

You turned away from your children playing in the pool, screaming (you were pretty sure they could be heard all the way in Downtown Gotham) and having fun, to look for your husband.

And there he was. Flipping some burgers on the barbecue. Looking hella fine in his polo shirt and cargo shorts. Then again, that man could wear a burlap sack that he would still look good.

You were shamelessly staring at him when he turned to look at you, giving you the smuggest look you’ve seen on his face in a while.

Oh. Oh the bastard. He knew the effect he had on you. And he loved it.

Mmm.

That sort of called for a little lesson, right ? Punishment, perhaps ?

And the environment was perfect. Here he was, taking care of the barbecue, while surrounded by friends asking for burgers...The perfect setting to fluster Bruce Wayne.

You took your phone out, and wrote everything you wanted to do to him. The way that polo shirt was clinging to his muscles definitely fueled your imagination.

You pressed send, and sat back in your chair, sipping on your non-alcoholic cocktail. You smiled at Lois and Dinah as they came to sit next to you, and took part in their conversation (they were talking about how annoying Oliver and Clark could be, yet how great they were too, and ah you could relate to this haha). But you kept a lookout for Bruce.

His phone rang. The infamous “family beep”. But he didn’t immediately react. Probably because his entire family was reunited here, and he could see none of them were in trouble.

He was probably thinking it was you sending him a text about how well you wanted your burger. Or something like that. And that’s when...

Your oldest son was coming with a plate full of uncooked food for the barbecue, and was about to settle it on the table next to his dad, but his phone was in the way. So he took it in his hand, and as he settled the plate Bruce’s phone rung again.

You stood up, and called out, a little panicked :

“No no no wait Dick ! Hey ! Don’t look at-”

Too late. You could see, as your son turned very pale, eyes widening and looking very ill, that he saw what you send your husband...

Damn it. And it was a very imaginative one at that, today...You sighed, knowing what was about to happen.

“WHAT THE FUCK ?!”

Dick turned towards his father, looking as if he had just been betrayed. And Bruce has no idea what’s happening.

“WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE YOUR PHONE OUT LIKE THAT IF THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE GONNA RECEIVE ?!”

And suddenly, your husband understands. And he’s not sure if he’s amused or if he wants to frown at you. He gives you a quick glance, and you shrug. You definitely didn’t intend on traumatizing your son with this...

Dick takes hold of his salad bowl, looks at his father straight in the eyes and says :

“You disgust me.” Oh, but it was said in such an overdramatic, over the top way. It was impossible for you not to grin.

And on that note, absolutely outraged and rather grossed out, Dick leaves to go grumpily eat his salad, alone at one of the outside table. Slowly, his siblings go to him, wondering what happened and why he screamed like that.

But as they see you slowly laugh your ass off, as they see their father who’s not sure if he should be flustered, ashamed or amused, and as they see Dick’s face...They all understand the subject of it all. They don’t know the exact things that happened. But they know their parents enough, and particularly the way you sometimes couldn’t get your hands off of each others, to know what this all was about.

Cue a bunch of “oh no ewwwww”, and a few “in front of your salad ?!” doubled with “this is a family event...”, and you definitely can’t stop laughing.

You feel a little bad, because you really didn’t intend on your son seeing what you had to say. And this was definitely one of the worst thing that happened on the spectrum of “my parents are gross...ly in love”. But you can’t help it. Your kids’ faces are just too funny.

And the way Bruce tries to resist looking at his phone to see what you said, while obviously being very curious (and feeling a little hot, the heat outside not being the reason)...it was just the icing on the cake.

So what if you were a little evil, and liked to tease him a bit too much ? And what if there were some little collateral damages along the way ?

As you always said, nobody was perfect.

Sometimes, it is welcomed.

Oh but there are days. Harder than others. Where you do it, not to fluster or annoy him, but to take his mind off of his troubles.

Like right now.

You could see him, in the middle of this sea of people. Not feeling like he belongs. And dwelling on painful past events.

You went to get him a drink, for once. You left him alone for a few minutes, as you made your way to the bar and ordered the usual non-alcoholic drinks you two got. But when you turned around...

Here he was.

Lost. In a place he did not want to be in, but had to so he could keep the “Brucie” facade he put up all those years. So the suspicion about him being Batman could never even start. And so he could put his money to good use.

Charity, rebuilding the city, funding schools, hospitals...All of this required his presence.

But oh. Oh he really didn’t want to be there. If it was up to him, he would probably be home, with his kids, in front of a movie they chose. Bonus point if you were snuggled up to him.

This was his “one night a week” he HAD to not go out as Batman. And it killed you, that this night was too often used for such events...

But alas, choosing the life you both chose required certain sacrifices. Including a few hours mingling with people you don’t even like, to try and make your city a better place.

There was, however, something you could do for him. Something that would cheer him up, in this moment of “I wish I was somewhere else”.

The “dirty texting to fluster Bruce” tactic wasn’t only used in mischievous way, to make him fluster and blush and such.

No. No sometimes, sometimes it was used to cheer him up.

Like now.

Bruce’s mind was elsewhere, drowning in this sea of people he couldn’t even remember the names of.

Until a familiar “beep” resounded in his pocket.

The family “beep”.

Without a second thought, he takes his phone out and...

Yes. There are certain moments, in which you sending him the dirtiest text he ever read (and being the “most eligible bachelor” for quite a while, he already received quite the saucy sexte), while you are in public, instead of flustering him would...

He finds you in the crowd easily.

He always found it easy, to single you out. Even while amongst this many people. It’s because to him, you shine. Almost quite literally.

He never had any difficulties finding his way back to you, even in the most crowded places...Sometimes, he joked that it’s because he could feel his love for you guide him. When he feels extra sappy, he says it with a serious tone.

And he means it.

He does.

It’s easy, to find you. Because he knows where to look. As if instinct linked you to him all those years ago. And he knows. He knows it’s because he never loved anyone like he loves you.

And right now, as you sent him a particularly graphic text in the hope to take his mind off of whatever dark thoughts he was getting lost in, he definitely finds it extra easy to find your face.

There you are.

And he smiles at you. Widely. So pure. Rare, for a man like him.

Because he knows. He knows this time, you didn’t send this to him to fluster him in front of people, but to distract him.

And it works. Oh damn it works.

His smile turns “sexy”, as anyone would say, and he looks very smug, as you walk towards him.

In truth, whenever you send him such a text, he always feel a little rush. Wether you’re trying to fluster him, or just cheer him up.

That man was as in love with you as if it was the first day, forever stuck in the honeymoon phase...Why wouldn’t he appreciate receiving hot texts from you ?

Even when you were purposefully trying to make him blush, there was a little part of him, although it was infuriating how satisfied you look that you ALWAYS succeeded, that just loved those texts.

You’re right next to him now, handing him his drink. He takes it smoothly from your hand,

“Thank you, my love.”

You wink at him, reveling in his warmth, snuggling a little closer albeit staying rather discreet, as this was an official event, after all.

His hand squeeze your waist a little, and you know what he’s about to do. He bends down to your ear and whispers, all suave and smug :

“What was this about needing um, a little disciplining ?”

You smile, knowing your mission was a frank success as he’s definitely not thinking about not wanting to be there anymore. Well. He most likely does. But he’s not dwelling on pain and misery for sure. And he’s not thinking those dark thoughts he can have sometimes...

You give him a coy look, and then you say :

“When we get out of here, I’ll show you.”

Oh you make him melt. Unable to hide his bedroom eyes, he gives your forehead a chaste kiss in the hope to regain countenance.

But it’s too late. You successful diverged his thoughts from any darkness...But now all he can think about is you.

And what you told him you wanted him to do to you.

Yes. Sometimes...Sometimes, you sending him absolutely dirty texts in public was everything he needed to come back to life.

As ridiculous as this sounded.

You were his lifeline so many times...He had no idea, at this point, what he would do without you. He couldn’t go back to the way he lived before you. No. He couldn’t.

And you wouldn’t let him anyway. Because no matter what, you were here for him. Your unconditional love, and self-admittedly cheekiness was here for him.

Ah. How good it felt, to be the only one in the world that could show off about being able to “fluster” the Batman himself.

_________________________________________________

I think I haven’t written something that short in like...ever haha. I haven’t re-read myself, this is just a quick bonus story :). It’s really just a little fun thing to write, nothing too serious or detailed or with too much feels ^^'. A quick drabble written for the sake of writing haha. I hope you liked it anyway, and aren’t disappointed or something ?

Just wanted to show an unknown almost “evil” side to Batmom ? Hahahaha. Anyway : Any comments and reblogs are always greatly appreciated ^^. Thanks in advance, and see you soon with an actual story ! There’s one coming just this week-end ;).

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youarejesting · 3 years

Text

Hope In The Sheets.8

[Masterlist]

Beta: N/A Pairing: Hoseok x Reader Genre: Friendship, Comedy, Soft boy, Fluff, SMUT, Friends2Lovers, Words: 2.9k

Summary: You held many titles: his neighbor, colleague, wing-man… well, more likely a wing-woman, yet most importantly, you were his best friend. You had been friends since you were born. Between the two of you, you were younger; barely, but he never let you forget it. He always seemed to ruffle your hair and tease you, which could get rather annoying but he made up for it by treating you to things.

What if a drunken one night stand between you and your best friend Hoseok leads to more complicated situations? Your reckless twenties are cut short as you find yourself suddenly responsible for something a little more.

Warning: Braxton hicks, Reader thinks she is being followed (but is mistaken), and a love making scene very short and sweet.

[First] [Previous] [Masterlist] [Next]

With your final month of pregnancy approaching you were finally ready to take your maternity leave. Deciding to continue working for as long as you could to save some money. The boss was getting super weird but you were holding your tongue and making up excuses to leave his presence.

Your last day was a little extravagant with cake and a card signed by your colleagues. The boss gave you a bouquet of flowers, which you graciously accepted as it was your last day. Everyone took photos and your boss awkwardly pulled you close, his hand resting on your belly.

Irritation growing, you wanted nothing more than to push his hand away and leave. The scent of his cologne made you feel a little sick and you were unbelievably sweaty. Excusing yourself to the safety of the women's bathroom you splashed your neck with some cool water.

Calling Jimin you whispered, “I need you to come pick me up, the boss is being weird again.”

“I am near by, give me a few minutes I will get you,” Jimin’s sweet voice rang like tiny chimes through the phone.

You waited another couple of minutes and heard your name called from the hall, “Y/n?, are you okay in there?” It was your creepy boss.

“Sorry, I am just having a hot flash so I am splashing water on my neck,” You laughed, trying to appear casual and not cause him any reason to suspect you are in distress as you would bet he would barge in otherwise, “I will be out soon.”

Your phone chimed.

[Jimin: We are in the elevator grab your things for a quick escape.]

Curious as to who he was referring to as ‘we’ but not questioning it, he was right you should get ready to leave as quickly as possible. Heading out to the gathering of your colleagues, you smiled fanning yourself.

“Here is some ice water,” One of the women smiled, “I remember when I was pregnant it was unbearably hot.”

“Thanks,” You took a drink and sighed happily at the cool liquid, standing in front of your bag, the flowers and card. The elevator doors opened to reveal a well dressed Jimin and a rather handsome man you recognized from the bar. Jungkook’s best friend, Taehyung was it? You smiled at the two as they smiled greeting everyone. “Hello, we are Y/n’s friends, I'm Jimin and this is Taehyung. We have come to pick her up.” Jimin looked around the room and his eyes lit up, “wow you are all so nice a party and everything.”

Jimin charmed the room easily and Taehyung wasn’t doing too badly either as he took the flowers and your bag. “Are you ready to leave?”

“Ah yes, I wouldn’t mind going home for a rest,” allowing the two young men to lead you towards the elevator, “Goodbye, I will hopefully see you when I am back from leave.”

They all waved and wished you good luck, and you didn’t miss the disappointed look on your boss' face. Your shoulders slumped as you leaned against the wall of the elevator, “I am so tired.”

“We will get you home soon,” Jimin smiled, rubbing your back and pulling you into a hug.

“Should we reschedule?” Taehyung said, “Or, I can um pay again, if you don’t mind waiting for a few weeks, I will save up enough money for another date.”

Jimin was at a loss for words. You knew he didn’t know what to say and you smiled, “Hey no, I will be home soon, just drop me off and go back to Jimin’s, he has a cinema room and you can order in and watch movies.”

“Yeah, we can do that.” Jimin smiled, reassuringly at Taehyung,

“Half a movie, I can only afford half a movie,” He mumbled downtrodden. Jimin wet his lips feeling awkward, he hadn’t dated anyone who wasn’t loaded with cash in a long time.

“Jimin has a rule that if he can’t make a date the next one is half price,” you took the art of improv to a whole new level, “he couldn’t make your date and it had to be rescheduled, right? So, this one is half price so you can get twice the amount of time.”

“Yeah, she is right so we can hang out a little longer.” Jimin bit his lip looking at the young man and seeing the small smile pull up on his lips. “So let’s drop the tiny mama off and go watch a movie.”

“Ok,” Taehyung smiled, you watched the two, nervous like a highschool crush developing between two students. The two graciously dropped them off and Jimin walked you to the door.

“You are smitten!” You grinned, teasing him lightly watching his blush grow. Your eyes catching Taehyung fixing his hair in the passenger seat drop down mirror. “You have never been nervous in your life, and he is so sweet.”

“I have been with rich men here and there looking for a date or a night, but I have never had someone scraping together their money to spend just a little time with me, making handmade gifts because that's all they can do.” Jimin was clutching his heart, and you finally found the key for the front door. “When he tells me I am pretty, or that he loves my voice, it’s different. I know those CEO’s had wives, but when he says it, I feel special like I am the only one in the world he says it too.”

“So what’s the problem?” You asked, letting Jimin walk you inside with all your items. “You have a lot of savings and investment properties, you could live off that money very easily.”

“How can I see him when he thinks he has to pay me all the time?” Jimin mumbled, walking back to the front door. “I don’t want him to go bankrupt because he thinks he can’t afford my rates”

“I heard at the bar that he like photography. Tell him you want a photoshoot but you don’t know a good photographer who you feel comfortable with.” You hugged and an idea struck. “Say you can’t decide on a concept and offer him a few different ones you want to try. He has been asked to submit his work into an exhibition. I think the theme was nightlife.”

“Nightlife.”

“It’s up for interpretation, but who has a more busy nightlife than you, and I am not talking about going out on the town. A sensual at home photoshoot of you in a sheet or a naked silhouette overlooking the night city.”

“Oh that could be fun, I could be part of an exhibition” he giggled, “I will ask him.”

Jimin hugged you again for safe measure and ran off to his van and climbed inside.

You waved shutting the door and heading to the fridge hoping some cold yoghurt would soothe your overheated form, whilst also feeding your almost insatiable hunger.

Opening the fridge, you saw the last of your yoghurt at the back, bending slightly you felt a twinge in your back and as you straightened up, Yoghurt in your hand as you were overcome with a tightness in your stomach. Was this a contraction?

You were two weeks out from your due date so it wasn’t unusual for people to have their babies early. You pulled out your phone calling for an ambulance and trying to breathe calmly.

[Y/n: I think I am in labor, and you’re the only one who is free today.] [DJSuga: Like really or that time you ate too much rice too quickly and got indigestion?] [Y/n: I just called the ambulance.] [DJSuga: I will meet you at the hospital let me know what ward you are in when you know.]

“Hello, I am looking for Miss Y/n.” Yoongi’s voice carried across the hall from the nurses desk to your room. “I would describe her as pregnant but it wouldn’t help.”

“Wow, you are very descriptive. You really have no words to describe me Yoongi? I am offended.” You pouted walking out into the hall, “Let’s go home.”

“What I thought you were popping out a baby today?” he said confused, “If you say it was constipation or something stupid I will hit you upside the head.”

“Well, it wasn’t that.” You blushed, “It was braxton hicks?”

“Who?” he blanked, utterly confused, “What are you talking about?”

“It means fake labor, like a test run.”

“Can you stop with the test runs, I don’t think my body can take it anymore?” Yoongi held his back waddling down the hallway making you giggle. “Come on, I saw a restaurant for lamb skewers and I have been craving it since.”

“You are acting more like a pregnant woman than I am.”

Walking out the front of the hospital you were bombarded by Jin, Jungkook, Namjoon, and a disheveled Jimin with Taehyung. You didn’t realize how your eyes looked for Hoseok, until you didn’t find him. The crushing feeling in your chest made you frown slightly.

“False alarm.” Yoongi muttered, “Apparently Barbie Hacks or something, we are getting lamb skewers. Come on, I hear Jin is paying.”

Hoseok arrived at the Bar and saw that no one was around, the place was locked up with a sign announcing that it was closed for the night. It was strange Jin didn’t ever believe in taking days off, even when he was sick he would be in his office resting.

He called Jin’s phone and heard laughter, “I will be back” Jin's voice called. Hoseok could hear Namjoon, Jimin and Yoongi talking about something adamantly. Had they planned something without him.

“Hey Hoseok, what do you need?”

“Your bar is closed?” Hoseok mumbled, “I was wondering what you are all doing?”

“Y/n went to the hospital because she was getting contractions but they turned out to be Braxton hicks, so we are having lamb skewers on Yoongi’s request.”

“Why did no one tell me?” Hoseok felt a little sick that his friends were hanging out without him and there was a strange pull in his chest knowing that he wasn’t there at the hospital.

“I didn’t think we had to, seeing as you are not the father of any children.” Jin repeated his words back to him, “We aren’t picking sides but you made it clear you didn’t want to be a part of the child's life. So we didn’t want to force you to be there.”

“I never said that I didn’t want to be a part!” Hoseok shouted down the phone, “Urgh, this is fucked.”

With a sigh Jin grew deadly serious, “she was scared out of her mind today, she thought she was going to have to give birth alone, you have to talk to her.”

“I said some stupid shit, Jin. I don’t know how to fix this.” Hoseok pulled at his hair and started heading to your house, hoping that perhaps the two of you could talk this out before he ended up losing you.

He had so much that he wanted to say and get mad about, he wasn’t ready to forgive you but he wasn’t ready to let you go either.

You were dropped off at Hoseok’s apartment, the one you had lived in together before everything went wrong. Touching your rounded tummy you knew that this child wasn’t a mistake and apologized out loud for even implying anything of the sorts. Taking the stairs to the second floor you arrived at his door.

Knock knock.

“Hoseok are you home?” You called, taking the key from your keychain you peaked inside to see the lights were off. You sat for a moment but he didn’t come home and it was getting a little dark.

Heading out you locked up and walked along the road. You put a headphone in and pretended to be in a conversation. Speeding up slightly as you passed the men sitting on the steps of one of the stores that had closed up for the night. The men were laughing about something and you scurried along.

Sighing in relief when you went to cross the street, looking both ways you caught sight of figures following you. Were the men following you? What did they want? Thoughts were circling in your head as the adrenaline started to kick in. Dialing hoseok you crossed the road.

“Hello, Y/n?” Hoseok said “I wanted to-”

“Hoseok, there are men following me” you whispered.

“Where are you?” He asked, sounding concerned, which gave you a flash of hope that he would protect you like he always did.

“I am on our street, I am heading to Yuta, I need to go somewhere public.” You replied walking briskly.

“Keep walking, I'm on my way.” You heard the sound of an engine and you knew everything would be okay. Hoseok wouldn’t let you get hurt.

“Don’t hang up, they are still following.” Picking up your speed you noticed they had started to walk a little more briskly. “I sped up and they did too, Hobi, I am really scared.”

“Don’t slow down, you got this little darling, I will be there soon.” Hoseok said with desperation in his voice. “I won’t leave you on your own anymore. I should have been there today. I should be with you now!”

A hand grabbed your shoulder and you screamed phone clattering onto the ground, “I am sorry miss, we called out but your headphones were in, you dropped your wallet.”

“Oh! Thank you so much, I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay, do you need help, can we escort you somewhere?” The other man asked. “There has been some break-ins recently so we have taken to watching the neighborhood.”

They walked you back towards Hoseok's and you sat with them as you spoke about what happened with Hoseok. Talking about how you stuffed up and lied to him. “You mean the really happy guy with the reddish hair? You two used to walk this street all the time. I knew you too liked each other,” they grinned

“So is it a little girl or boy?” One of the guys gestured to your belly. “Have you thought of any names?”

“A little girl and I have been thinking of some. Sun-Hee it just reminds me so much of her dad,” you hummed, a little nervous to hear their feedback, “does it sound silly?”

“It sounds beautiful.”

Looking up there was Hoseok panting and looking relieved to see you okay. Standing, you walked over to your longest friend, hoping he didn’t scold you. “Hoseok, I am sorry.”

He pulled you into a hug and buried his face in your neck, “I don’t care. I don’t care that you lied and kept this from me. I don’t care about any of that, let me be here for you. I will be by your side.”

You were crying, he took your face in his hands brushing your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “Alright love birds, Kiss each other.”

Your cheeks were bright red, ready to laugh and tell the men it wasn’t like that when Hoseok pulled you forward. Pressing his lips to your's, he kissed you fiercely, his hands holding your waist and cradling your head. He tried to pull you closer when your belly bumped against him. He looked down and rubbed your belly gently, “I am sorry I wasn’t there but I am here now, and I am not leaving.”

“Let’s go home, Hobi.” You whispered, he thanked the men for taking care of you and led you to his van. He drove back to your house and walked you inside, shutting the door and taking off his shoes. The two of you sat on the couch.

“I guess you have a lot to talk about.” Hoseok said nervous and you swung your leg over his lap and kissed him. It was difficult to maneuver with your big belly, but you were too busy enjoying the feeling of his soft lips against yours.

“I want to remember this time,” you breathed against him. “Please let’s just pretend that one didn’t happen and try again.”

Hoseok laughed and lifted you carefully and carried you to the bedroom.

Hoseok was gentle and passionate; he teased you with his fingers and lavished you with his tongue. You had never had anything like this. Usually you were chasing a high with some guy you never had plans to call again, and that was on the rare occasion you were looking for sex. This made you feel overwhelmingly good, your heart was pounding. Every thrust brought with it a spark of energy. You clung to Hoseok as he lost himself in the sensations.

He would open his eyes in moments of clarity and kiss you telling you how much he loved you. It wasn’t like jumping off the edge into pleasure; this was like waves that started small and built into a choppy tide never crashing upon you, just rocking you with pleasure. After the crescendo moment the waves began to ease back until it was the gentle waters lapping at the sand.

“Hobi,” you panted as he laid your head on his chest. He hummed encouraging you to continue. You took his hand and placed it onto your belly, “you remember two minutes ago when we had sex, well I think I fell pregnant.”

He laughed, throwing his head back into the pillow and leaned down kissing your belly, “I think you might be right!”

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