#i don’t WANNA FUCKIGN TALK

[pacifistcowboy]

tried a new strategy of going through posts by just going to the people i follow’s account n just scrolling, but i realise that just leads to me spamming people so i won’t do that again!

sorry to those who were subjected to my experiment <3 i didn’t mean to be annoying

#i just wanna be able to keep up with y’all ‘cus i genuinely feel like som of y’all are a friend #but like…at this point i should just maybe stay in contact with y’all by actually like communicating with u #do any of my mutuals actually wanna be like my buddy n like chat #idk idk if i actually have that dynamic with any of u #i don’t wanna force ppl to talk to me lol #i dunno if some of us are only held together by our shared interest #like obvs that’s what drew us to each other but like #idk #i wonder if i’d still only want to talk about sonic n if that would get old for y’all #aUGH i’m overthinking fuckign Tumblr™️

[plaguedoctoraeneas]

I am actively loosing my mind. Who knew trying to build at least four sets for a stop motion silent film out of Lego in one day Sucks!

#doc talks #it’s for an assignment to make a ‘short silent film’ and I don’t wanna be on camera #but I can’t find any of the fuckign parts I need and also everything hurts

[gawayne]

ughh SORRY BUT I HAVE TO SAY IT the people you meet in engineering are just by and large so unpleasant I hate it here

#DONT get me wrong there are at least three very cool eng students here #but fuckign. come on we have to admit it. the structure of the program makes you worse and more annoying #out of stress out of competitiveness whatever #yknow what I’ve never heard in english class or art club? earnest discussions of crypto #elon musk fangirling #clique-forming based on whether you have a fucking pilot’s license #using gay as an insult like it’s 2014 #physical assault #etc #christ be normal for a bit!! talk about something that doesn’t make me wanna kill myself! #tbh think the issue might be that smart mean rich kids either go into mech/elec or medicine #and there’s nowhere else in the country for aero freaks to go so they all end up here. revving their audis at 10pm and cutting off busses #no joke every few months I’m like huh I should try to make friends in this program. and I go to a social event or talk to someone or w/e #and then I remember that they are not fun to hang out with because I don’t invest or like cars or want a plane or drink #and I am not willing to sit thru that discussion until someone brings up something more interesting. usually there isn’t anything #see our capstone group works bc it’s full of adhd bitches. today we talked about eggs for an hour #ughhhhh. genuinely I think it’s weird how many ppl don’t have hobbies beyond gaming drinking and investing and I fundamentally can’t get #along with them and that’s why all the cool engineers are found in art club #or maybe I’m just insane and annoying who knows

[evansbby]

there’s a heatwave in the uk rn and I’m shivering and wrapped up in my sheets with a fever and sore throat 😌

#WHY IS IT SO COLD #i didn’t even have the energy to answer all the asks in my askbox which was about chris gossip and drama #anyways I just deleted them bc I don’t want that on my blog #nothing against you guys in fact i agreed with a lot of the stuff that was sent I just don’t wanna talk about it on here #would rather talk about ari hehehehe #anyways I’m feeling so fuckign cold and just can’t warm myself up #which is insane bc it’s so hot rn #temperature wise #anyways #what’s up with y’all ? #gonna try and answer some other asks but I just lack the energy #it’s like it’s been sapped out of me

[commic-jester]

oughgod

#vent tw #ohgod please don’t let him think we’re avoidin him #we’re not avoidin him i just genuinely can’t find my fuckign laptop to join discord #we lied at first n said we fell asleep n that’s why we couldn’t talk to him #bc we were havin a major depressive episode n didn’t wanna tell him that #but now i just genuinely fucking can’t find my laptop he’s gonna think m avoidin him fuckfuckfuckfuck

[professionaljester]

another day another day going to work an waking up miserable

#abc shut it #i genuinely wish i was dead #i’m so lonely i’m so fuckign lonley #i sit around waiting to replies all day and waste my time bc i don’t wanna do anything else than just TALK TO SOMEONE ANYONE PLEASE #ACKNOWLEGE MY EXISTANCE #i can’t even partipate in convos at work i just get ignored and pushed to the side #any convo irl it’s like that and i’m just #i don’t know how much i can do this lonliness for #it feels like i only exist on my own head #i feel bad for complaining but it feels like my girlfriend can’t even bother to make the time for me anymore #vent #what’s the point of being alive if no one wants to talk to me or hang out with me #i text people and can’t get a reply back i just get ghosted #or ppl just don’t text me at all bc i don’t exist to them unless i remind them with a text first #i just wish people cared abt me like i care about them but clearly that’s not true #but it’s my fault for not doing all i can do to fix my lonlieness problem #as if people just don’t want to talk to me bc i’m werid #like i’m doing my best to make friends and break the isolation but what am i suppose to do if no one talks back to me #i can say clear as day i’m obvious and you need to directly invited me to something #instead of vaguely making a suggestion #and that doesn’t happen and ppl get mad at me for being upset abt being lonley #as if i’m not doing my literaly best and ppl just don’t listen to me when i say j need to directly be invited

[hauntedlamb]

Three days until my birthday and I’m not looking forward to it

#it’s gonna be miserable and lonely and stressful as it always is #and I don’t wanna turn 24 it fuckign freaks me out to think about aging #because like?? i do not feel like a grownup #I don’t feel like I should be an adult??? and every year added is one more #pushing me further into a world I don’t understand or want to be part of #and it’s fuckign terrifying #I hate it #bitch talks

[heraldofcrow]

*SHOVES SEPHIROTH BEHIND ME IMMEDIATELY*

OH FUCK OFF KATY. THIS CROSSES THE FUCKING LINE YOU FUCKING WANNA-BE MICOLASH CANNIBAL!

LIKE FOR ONE, I AM NOT SIMPING FOR A CHARACTER I CALL MY SON WE ARE WAAAYYYY PAST THAT. IT LASTED FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS MAX AND SECONDLY HALF OF THE GENERIC SILVER-HAIRED ANIME BOYS OWE THEIR DESIGNS TO HIM ANYWAY BECAUSE HIS WAS ONE OF THE PROTOTYPES FROM THE ACTUAL FUCKIGN 90S LIKE THERE IS NO WAY HE WASN’T THE MAIN INSPIRATION FOR COUNTLESS OTHERS IN FACT IT’S PRETTY OBVIOUS AND HE IS DESIGNED TO LOOK ANGELIC AND SLIGHTLY ALIEN ANYWAY. HIS DESIGN IS LITERALLY CALLED ICONIC IN THE ENTIRE VIDEO GAME WORLD FOR A REASON AND ALSO ASCENDS INTO A SERAPHIM-GOD THAT LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE A BIBLICALLY ACCURATE ANGEL FFS

ALSO LET’S TALK ABOUT HOW MICOLASH LOOKS LIKE A SHRIVELED EEL FROM HELL THAT HAS A DIET OF STRICTLY LARD, OYSTERS, AND PLAY-DOUGH—LIKE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT AND DON’T MAKE ME REMIND YOU WHO YOUR MANIC GRIN LOVIN ASS ALSO SIMPED FOR BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.

IF YOU ARE GONNA COME AT ME FOR SIMPING, LET’S TALK ABOUT LOGARIUS. LEAVE SEPHIROTH OUT OF THIS.

#FDRTGYHSJ #CROSSED A LINE #THIS IS WAR NOW #I AIN’T HOLDING BACK #I WILL BLACKMAIL #*ANGRY MOM CROW NOISES* #💀💀💀💀💀💀 #Everyone else following this blog be like: …ayo? #LISTEN THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND KATY #YOU GUYS ARE ALL FINE <3 #AAAAAAAA #asks #dash wars #mutuals #lmao help my heart is actually racing rgytdbehnsjm

[coexistentialism]

did anything in particular help u get over denial bc u don’t know much abt your alters? I feel like a silly to think I could have this disorder bc I’m very clueless

Hmm... Other than my diagnosis and generally teaching myself, I'm not entirely sure.

Note here when I say "you" in this post, I'm not directing this at you, Anon, specifically!

Mostly just a lot of research. Like so much research. Please, PLEASE do research - actual research - if and when you can, even if you have to find audiobooks or find alternative ways to research, as long as you are not solely getting your information from social media! Including me man! Do your own research! I am a human being too and I am capable of being wrong! I would LOVE to share places where I research, how I research, etc. if anyone is interested in a post like that.

Talking to other systems, being in (...good..) system spaces, and learning about other systems' experiences, both different and similar to my own. You can browse blog pages, forum posts, Reddit, Tumblr, read books, watch short films made by people with DID/OSDD, find other YouTubers to watch, etc. I can also share a post about some stuff I recommend, like Forums and Reddit posts and blogs.

Throw out OSDD versus DID. I'm so serious. I think some people who question DID/OSDD have treated questioning it like way too seriously and I kinda just wanna go. Who cares man. If you suspect you have DID or OSDD, who cares, just say you suspect DID or OSDD. You. Don't need to narrow it down to one, I promise you it doesn't matter as much as the internet acts like it does. I think the DID criteria could do with changing and to be less restrictive in order to include a wider variety of presentations and experiences. At the end of the day, when somebody says they're an OSDD system, this means SO many different things for SO many different people. You ask one person with OSDD what that means for them and they might have a totally different answer than someone else with OSDD. I just think people should learn to be okay with saying "I suspect DID/OSDD, I don't know which" more often instead of attempting to figure out which one they have. The reason it's so confusing is because OSDD doesn't have criteria. It doesn't have criteria for you to meet and the internet makes shit up about OSDD, so you get fed misinformation about it and things don't add up and don't make sense because it's misinformation. So just throw this out and learn to be okay with not knowing whether it's DID or OSDD. It's okay. You don't have to narrow it down. Relax NFDKJASKD

Tips:

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ANYTHING THAT YOU READ ABOUT DID/OSDD ONLINE THAT YOU FOUND HELPFUL - SAVE IT SOMEWHERE! I promise you will want to look back at them and read them over and over again several times and each time you do, you will realize things you hadn't before. So often, I've gone back and read research papers that I've read in the past, or books, etc. and found that I understood them much better, that they made me realize a lot more about myself, etc. than the first time I read them. Or the second time, or the third time, etc.

Lots and lots of journaling, even if you think it's useless/pointless, even if you think it's unhelpful, even if you don't understand the point. I did not understand how journaling would help me figure out my alters because I was expecting myself to magically find something written there like the next day with no memory of it, and it. Does not fuckign work that way LMFAO at least not for most people. I was expecting the wrong thing, I was assuming that that was the indicators of switching I was looking for, that I was supposed to communicate to my alters in that way, but I knew that that wasn't an experience I would have, and I obviously didn't experience it, so I didn't understand the point. It soon became clear how wrong I was NFKSDNFJKADNKJDASF

It's okay to be ""cringe."" It's okay to be ""weird."" Let yourself be weird as Hell. Let yourselves be "cringey." It's okay. Be free. NFDJFNKDSA

Allow your experiences to Just Be. You don't have to figure out if that experience was a switch right now, you don't have to figure out if that voice you heard was Truly An Alter right now, I just mean that you don't have to overthink it and you can allow your experiences to simply happen and then analyze them later. It's okay. Even if they are weird, even if they are cringey, even if they're embarrassing. I mean, so long as no-one is harmed, but even in that case, it's okay to put safety measures into place, or find alternatives, find coping skills, or if something harmful has already happened, to attempt to mend it, and analyze things later, etc. Things will come to you as long as you let them, but you won't be able to figure things out if you refuse to allow experiences to simply happen instead of overthinking it, like I used to do where I constantly just felt like "but that's not truly an alter, so-" and just refused to let things Just Happen.

Most importantly: take your time. seriously. this is a process that can - unfortunately - agonizingly take several years. but the pay-off is worth it and when you start to feel that denial lessen, you will look back and feel as if no time as passed (or is that the dissociation NFJDASNFK

I think that's about everything I can think of so far!

#inbox #my posts

[mrtequilasunset]

As I (the strange jaw anon, hated by dentists, failure at cocksucking) said, Harry would probably have some trouble sucking dick.

However I decided a while back to look on ao3 and see just how many fics involved Harry sucking someone off. And it’s most of them. I don’t have my spreadsheet in front of me, but if I remember correctly, the majority of Disco Elysium pornography on AO3 includes oral sex, and the majority of that oral sex is preformed by Harrier Du Bois.

I don’t remember why I decided to compile a spreadsheet about oral sex in disco elysium fanfiction but here we are! I did that and that information has finally come in handy! Sort of.

Perhaps a horrid ask to send, but I thought there was a chance you’d appreciate the slight irony and the humour of my Disco Elysium Cock Sucking Spreadsheet.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me see the spreadsheet please this is so fuckign funny. We need to start talking about how many cringefail blowjobs this man probably gives people because of his funky ass jaw. I wanna see more of this in fics i wanna see some realism

#please next time you have a chance i would love to see it #AAHFNQNFNDBFSJFNE #also shout out to geeneelee who pointed out that post polio syndrome can eliminate gag reflex #so hes got that going for him #disco elysium #harry du bois #/affection @ the funky jaw part

[ponytailzuko]

sans and reigen go out 2 eat

“wanna go for some grub?”

“Yeah, after that contest with balancing hotdogs on our head, I'm starving. Too bad all the hotdogs fell on the floor.”

“don’t worry, i know a place”

[ID: a picture of Sans and Reigen surrounded by hotdogs on the floor. End ID]

“how are you liking the food?”

[ID: A screenshot of Sans and Reigen sitting in Grillby’s. Sans is looking over at Reigen. End ID] 

“This burger is fuckign good...”

[ID: Screenshot of Reigen talking with a burger in his hands and crumbs all over his mouth. End ID] 

“i’m glad you like it man” 

[ID: A screenshot of Reigen eating fries with Sans edited to be sitting in front of him. End ID] 

the end icant do this shit anymore

#reigensweep #sanssweep #mp100 #undertale #reigen arataka #sans #sans undertale #cal.ibrations

[hyukalyptus]

i feel like younger fandom writers on tumblr are starting to feel like they have to be sort of ""influencers"" and respond to every single bit of feedback and get as many reblogs as possible but that's never been what tumblr has been about and it's sad because i've seen this idea people give themselves drive writers off the website in newer, younger fandoms. if i'm in your inbox, even if it's some big idea i'm putting down, you can just reply like a conversation. i'm not expecting a piece of writing, i really just want to tell someone and have them respond "OH MY GOD I'M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH" and maybe even "thats so hot and he'd do this too" but i feel like writers are putting a lot of pressure on themselves lately, or maybe it's just this fandom idk, to write a fic for every single idea that comes into their mailbox because they feel like "that's what writers do" or something and it's like??? you don't have to be a Public Figure here. it's just a fuckign social media website and the weirdest most fucked up one. i'm sure you get asks like "hey why didn't you write such and such" but like. you're just here to converse and share the things you make this isn't your fucking job so ignore that shit and do what feels comfortable to you. idk if this sounds harsh or not but really the point is just do whatever the fuck you want

hello!

idk if this is a rant specifically toward me or if it’s supposed to be a suggestion for others..but i feel like i have a pretty clear boundary and that is stated clearly in my guidelines. i do understand that this is something silly and meant to be fun and i treat it that way.

i’ve never felt pressured to do something i didn’t want to do. i know i posted a “i have a full time job and i go to school!” post yesterday but that’s because i have drawn that boundary and i do understand that this is a low priority and it’s for fun. if i don’t like an ask, i delete it! which i do so often tbh. i don’t rly advertise that bc i want ppl to feel like they can inbox me.

and again, i’m not sure if this is directed at me fully, but i have never said anything along the lines of “because that’s what writers do.” as i’ve said in my guidelines, i understand i am not here for you or any other reader. and i am fully comfortable deleting any ask and blocking whoever tf i want.

perhaps this in response to saying something like “this didn’t get a whole lotta notes :(“ or something? and if it’s that, that’s not meant to be taken too seriously! it’s more of a “omg why doesn’t anyone else wanna giggle about kai with me rn?” just like irl if i’m w a group of ppl and i’m sharing something i rly like and that i created and i get very little response i’ll be slightly :/ but i’m not taking it personally. i’m sorry if it came across as pressuring others to provide feedback.

perhaps this is in response to my poll i have up rn. i’m doing this because many readers have suggested us writers interact back with them. and they’ve requested that from multiple writers. which i see as a fair request to be completely honest. however, i don’t feel pressured into doing that. i want to show appreciation to my readers that leave feedback and idk maybe it’s because i’m autistic, maybe it’s because i’m old and don’t do social media well, but it can be very difficult for me to talk to people in any form (online or offline) so i wanted to know what form would be best received.

but at the end of the day- i definitely do not see myself as an “influencer”—that is actually my worst nightmare. i have never felt pressured to write a response to anything, i’ve never felt pressured to respond within a certain time frame, a certain length, or anything. i still haven’t posted half my kinktober shit! i’ve never prioritized this over work or school. i do write whatever the fuck i want or i wouldn’t write about “unpopular” things like kai smut (bc let’s face it, they’re always super unpopular), chubby!reader, or other kinks. and i make that clear in my guidelines!

and yep, i see this as something silly that i do as a hobby but that isn’t my place to dictate how other writers should feel about their blog. if they want to take it seriously bc they view as their art, that’s fine with me. if they wanna write for validation or for as many notes as possible, that’s fine w me because they’re doing whatever the fuck they want.

writers: i do encourage you to not feel pressured to write to things you don’t want to, but i don’t feel like many of you do that anyway. this is meant to be something fun and if you’re not having fun, don’t do it! but i’m still having fun with this so i’m gonna do it. and i’m sure y’all are having fun too. i ofc hope my moots stick around, but i would of course understand if you decided to never log back in again someday.

#inbox! #anon!

[linharrdt]

OOOOHHHHHHMY FUCKIGN GOODDDDDUUUUHHHHHHH

That weird ass coworker is texting me again (over txt not snap so now i gotta answer bc i told him im not on snap bc i dont wanna get hounded abt it irl) and he was asking if im friends w this girl i work w on the daily and i was like yeah sure i guess!! And now hes talking abt how he likes someone and i think it’s her even tho she hates his ass!!! And now he’s tryinng to ask me how to confess to her like?? Why are you asking mmeeee!!!! I don’t want anything to do w all that!! So anyways I gave her a warning bc yeah! Sick of this bullshit!! I just want to work and get money! Not deal with bullshit!!

#i haven’t responded to him yet i dont know what the fuck to say

[i-have-no-braincells]

*GRABS YOU BY THE FACE* LOOK I JJST REALLY WANNA FUCKIGN TALK TO THE BITCH AT FUCKGIN STARBUCKS THAT DECIDED PUTTING OLIVE OIL IN COFFEE WAS A GOOD IDEA-

as someone who was a barista for a little over two years and was interested in coffee making way before then, i am absolutely and utterly appalled and i NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT IT BECAUSE OH MY GOD

fucking did no one learn that oil in general doesn’t like MIX WITH OTHER LIQUIDS??? Starbucks claiming that they infuse their milk with fuckgiign olive oil i’m going to go APESHIT NO YOU DIDNT STARBUCKS. also if people are looking for the smoothness that comes from olive oil, you guys DO know that espresso has natural oils right??? like coffee has natural oils in general????

starbucks really saw that some Italians will take a spoonful of olive oil before drinking their morning coffee (according to the internet) and said OKAY LETS PUT IT INSIDE THE COFFEE. and as a side note, olive oil will start becoming gross and chunky inside cold liquids AND TWO OF THE FUCKING OLIVE OIL COFFEE DRINKS THEY MADE ARE ICED FUCK YOU STARBUCKS I CAN’T HANDLE THIS SHIT

I hate Starbucks their coffee is fuckign nasty and I don’t even drink coffee. I DONT EVEN DRINK COFFEE AND I CAN SMELL THE BS FROM A MILE AWAY IM KEEPING MY EYE ON YOU STARBIES YOU ARE T H I S CLOSE TO MAKING ME SNAP

#*breathes in* #AAAAAA #sorry guys i needed to get this out #the fuckign oleato is being shoved in my face where i live #every time i see it i wanna commit crimes #robin rants #cw excessive cursing

[professionallydeadinside]

Alright bitch im ready ramble about the prisoner the fuck is it about

OKAY SO HALF RAMBLE BECAUSE I DONT WANNA SPOIL IT TOO MUCH

Basically there’s these two families, their daughters are friends and one day they both go missing. They eventually find Alex (Paul Dano) and his RV that one of the fathers recognizes as his daughter hanging around there so he assumes that Alex must be the one who took them. But after questioning and talking to his Aunt I think? The detective on the case essentially says Alex has the IQ of a 10 year old and there’s a very low chance of him being the one who kidnapped the girls also because there’s no evidence in his RV of a struggle. Alex is eventually let go but the father, thinking he’s the culprit and lying about being handicapped, KIDNAPS HIM AND FUCKIGN TORTURES HIM IN HOPES TO GET HIM TO CONFESS, LIKE HE LITERALLY RIGS A WHOLE PIPE THING THAT EITHER DOUSES HIM IN BOILING HOT WATER OR FREEZING COLD WATER I don’t wanna give anything else away but I found it very intriguing and also I felt real bad for Alex

#SORRY IF THIS IS A BAD EXPLANATION I MIGHT BE FORGETTINF SOMET THINGS #answered

[dayabot]

if u don’t mind…..5, 6, 23, 27 and 30 bc im Insane and enjoy hearing other people talk about the Subject of my Insanity! <3 feel free not to answer if u don’t wanna tho no pressure <3

i already knew you were Insane you didn't need to tell me that oh my god (daya) yours are the last ones i'm answering though >:0 <3

5: favorite rusical?

both rusicals from season 10: the cher rusical and the pharmarusical (it's camp and you just need to have a very high iq to understand it) and since we've established i can never only have one answer throw in the madonna rusical and under the big top from cdr2 as honorable mentions

6: favorite ball challenge?

in terms of actual looks it's the sugar ball Or the ball ball, i liked s10s last ball on earth and s11s monster ball as ~concepts~ though

23: favorite miss congeniality?

i was going to say valentina jokingly but no really work fan favorite

27: who's a queen that really makes you laugh on social media?

oh it's BOSCO, it has to be boscyyyyyy i think bosco is so fuckign funny she has a certain.... ~2014 tumblr funnygirl quality (complimentary) to her humor, also I Feel Like Shit Daya

30: are there any queens that you really admire or look up to?

totally like i admire most all of them so this is actually sort of an impossible question to answer i thought so hard about the answer that i don't have one anymore daya betty daya debebyb debby bbebybdaya dayadbebyttyd

#urmomsfavelesbian #here's how daya can still be miss congeniality #tytyty for all the numbers honey (boscy heart) #so basically im going to take a nap