#i dont know who i am lolz live laugh love

[lanas-delight]

from across the room.

♫ rec: about you by the 1975

✰ an enhypen scenario || gen!reader x jake

✰ description — a disastrous break up, raging arguments, fading love, and what could’ve been.

✰ warnings — language, arguments, mention and accusations of cheating, and a LOT of angst.

✰ note — u guys dont know me yet but i have been told im a mastermind when it comes to writing angst 😍 (ive js made my friends cry with what ive written before lolz) anyways enjoy! 🤭😅

Relationships never lasted with you. It was never your fault exactly, it was either them not being ready for it or just plainly doing you dirty, but you always moved on. It never phased you much, any of it, though that was because all of those people before weren’t him.

His name was Jake. You met him exactly two years and 23 days ago. Your two year anniversary was 18 days ago. You loved him, and he loved you. Everything was good. You were already living together, which happened about seven months ago, but there hasn’t been any issues. Everything was good—until it wasn’t.

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was,” Jake huffs, falling back onto the shared bed of yours. “Trust me, I hate it just as much as you do, maybe more,” he was referring to the business trip he was being forced to go on for a few days. He leaves tomorrow, and he hated that he would have to leave you again. This wasn’t the first business trip he’s ever been on, especially lately. He had gone on seven the last two months alone. You kept count.

"When will you be back?"

"Saturday?" He sounded unsure. "I'll call you once we get there, though," and he sat on the bed, putting on his shoes and tying the laces before continuing to pack his suitcase. You didn't say a word, only sat beside his suitcase and in hopes to reassure you, he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your cheek. You, however, just sighed and looked over at his direction, your eyes avoiding his, earning a puppy-like look from him. "What?"

"You sure have gone on a lot of trips lately," you remark, though quietly. He stares at you as you continue, "I'm worried, Jake."

"About?"

A sudden twist in your stomach, you felt sick. "Nevermind, I'll sound stupid," but he sits with you, worried and concerned terribly.

"No, what is it?"

You sighed again.

"Talk to me, Y/N."

"Are you having an affair?"

Jake laughed. He laughed. "What?" He scoffed, "Why would I ever cheat on you? Are you insane?" Such a kind thing to say to your partner, but he took it back instantly. "I'm sorry. That wasn't nice. It's really just a business trip, Y/N," he tells you, "I only love you."

"But how can I trust you?" You stood up, apart from him as he watched you with furrowed brows. "You've gone on so many, so often, you—You barely call when you're gone. How am I supposed to be sure you're not in bed with someone else?"

"Y/N," he shook his head, "If you don't have trust, we—"

"We have nothing, right?" And you turned, "Nothing new," You then walked off but he followed you into the kitchen, his packing coming to a sudden halt as he tried to make things right with you before he would leave. You grabbed some of the dishes and started to hand-wash them, while he stood near you and tried to reason with you.

"You're being ridiculous," he tells you, a bit rudely, "Why won't you listen to me?" But you ignore him. "Y/N, please. I don't want to leave with us like this. I love you—"

"Then prove it," You turned to him suddenly, "Prove that you love me, because you don't. You sleep in our bed for a couple nights then you're off on another trip. You kiss me but there's no love. There's nothing. There's . . ." You sighed, "There's nothing between us anymore. Because of you."

Jake took a step back. "Y/N, what are you saying?"

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and looked through your photos, showing him a screenshot you had taken off of Jake's phone. Messages with a girl who you didn't recognize, but when you messaged the girl, she swore they were just friends, that she had a boyfriend. But even that won't stop a girl sometimes. You didn't know how to feel, you weren't even sure if the messages had the intent of an affair. It was innocent chatting, you thought, but the fact he couldn't bring himself to look you in the eyes then made you realize the truth. It wasn't innocent. It wasn't a surprise either.

"I don't know why you talk to her, tell her everything while you tell me nothing, but if she's what you want, then she can have you." You threw a pot down in the sink, creating a loud noise to echo through the kitchen and the rest of the apartment as you stormed out, grabbed your coat and slid on your uggs. "I'm going to F/N's," you say, seeing him appear in the hallway behind you. "Goodnight, Jake." The door slammed behind you and you left, leaving the love you had once for him behind.

He called twice, left a voicemail, and sent over 30 messages, explaining everything. He didn't have feelings for that other girl, though he didn't give you any reason to think otherwise so you left that night. You didn't want anything to do with him. Genuinely, you didn't. You didn't know if he had actually cheated, though he claimed he didn't and that he would never do that to you, but he opened up to that girl about things you never even knew an ounce about.

She did have a boyfriend, but it wasn't until a week later that she texted you, telling you that she did like your boyfriend, which caused her own boyfriend to dump her. It wasn't surprising to you at all.

You had been staying at your friend's house for the last week, so when you finally called him back, you only asked him if he had any feelings for that girl. He didn't say anything. He hesitated, but he said no. However, that wasn't enough for you. You hung up on him and texted him that you were through. You asked him to have his stuff out of your apartment by next Friday, which he agreed to.

But on that Friday, when he was taking the last of his stuff, he stopped and looked at you coldly, unsure what to say but spoke anyways. His voice deep and hurt, just like his heart, just like yours.

"You didn't fight for us," he told you, "You didn't even care to listen to what I had to say. You leave every time it gets hard, you blame me for everything I do, but what am I supposed to do when you won't even hear me out, Y/N?"

"I don't know," You stared back at him with crossed arms, "Maybe don't cheat on me?" You scoffed, but he couldn't believe you.

"Why do you have to brush me aside like that?" Jake questioned, "You never listened to me. Have you even considered the possibility that I didn't open up to you because you didn't give me the chance to?"

You unfolded your arms, but you took his words the wrong way. "Are you implying I made you cheat on me?"

But that enraged him. "I didn't cheat on you, Y/N!" He raises his voice, throwing his hands in the air defensively, "I talked to who I thought was my friend, about personal stuff because I couldn't bring myself to talk to you about it, so instead of just trusting me to tell you on my own, you go through my phone and accuse me of cheating on you."

"You hesitated," you threw it back in his face, "When I asked you if you liked her, you hesitated before saying no. You had to think about whether or not you liked another girl while you were with me. Do you not realize how pathetic that made me feel?"

"Do you not realize how pathetic you've made me feel?" Jake remarks, tears in his eyes, mirroring yours, "I'm the bad guy in every part of this story, Y/N, because you won't even give me the chance to explain myself. You keep dismissing me and ignoring me, but why won't you listen to me? I love you with all I have, Y/N."

But you wiped your tears, sniffling. "I never want to see you again."

His eyes grew wide, but he didn't fight against it. He grabbed the last of his stuff and left without another word spoken between you both.

There was a party. You didn't know anyone but your best friend, but as she had gone off with her boyfriend, you were now alone, sitting on the couch, drinking liquor out of some plastic cup. You wore a red dress, made of satin, with heels that weren't too high that your ankles wanted to break but not too flat that made you appear too different from everyone else. You didn't want to be different, easy to single out. You wanted to fit in, just like everyone else. But you weren't like everyone else. That was clear the moment he saw you.

The room was crowded. You could barely see over dozens of people piled into one room. Music blaring, dim lights as one of your favorite songs started to play. People were dancing, people were drinking, having a good time like there was no tomorrow. And there he was, standing by the wall. You could see him through the small spaces between people. His eyes were glued to his phone screen for a fleeting moment, one that felt a little too long until he suddenly met eyes with you and in response, you smiled at him from across the room, while your heart jumped out of your chest and you had never felt more noticed in your life.

He approached you soon enough, breaking the awkwardness with a little joke before he sat beside you and started an easy-going conversation with you about what you did for work, what he did for work, etc. The night ended with a lightly-sober kiss between you both, where he said something so beautiful to you that you swore it was engraved into you. He said, "You are so pretty when you smile, but when it was just at me, like I was the only person in that crowded room, I knew it was you that I'm going to fall for." Five days later, after a couple of sober dates, he was your boyfriend. And for two years, you promised yourself that he was the one. Until he wasn't.

You had a dream once, that you married Jake and had a family with him. You had a couple of dogs, ones he and the kids all named like Scout, Georgie, and Layla the 2nd. You had your dream job, as did he, and you were just so happy with him and the kids. He had built you your dream house, with a concrete pool and a beautiful backyard that the kids would run all over in with the dogs. He had always promised you that he would anything for you—build you a house, give you the family you wanted, be the husband you needed. You loved him with your entire being, and he felt the same way about you.

But it had been five years since the break up. You haven't heard from him in at least four years, and the last thing you were told, he was engaged to some new girl and was moving back to Australia after the wedding.

You had met someone else, too. You had only been dating for a few months now, nothing too serious just yet, but you were just getting used to being in a relationship again. You were taking it slow, not wanting to rush anything.

You didn't have feelings for Jake anymore. You haven't loved him in years. But there's a part of that wishes that fate would lead you back into each other's lives, single and open for a second chance. But that was never going to happen. You were never going to be the one he stares at from across the room, where you smile at him and start the love that should have lasted forever, but it never stood a chance. You had moved on, and so has he. The memories of what love gave you both lingers in your eyes, your mind, and for the rest of your life, you'll know that it just wasn't meant to be. From across the room, you'll stay, and regret ever smiling at him for he became the love of your life, just as quickly as you left him. It was over. But you were okay.

You had to be.

———————————————————————————————

A/N - sorry guys i felt like hurting feelings today mb

#jake sim #jake x reader #enhypen #enhypen x reader #sunghoon #niki #jay #jungwon #sunoo #heeseung #enhypen angst #angst #jake #jay park #park jongseong #park sunghoon #kim sunoo #lee heeseung #niki nishimura

[puukkolesbo]

@sokkadyke u wanted to know my thoughts? i'll give u my thoughts!! (the fic is unconditionally and irrevocably - an absolutely AMAZING zukka twilight au that everyone should go read rn)

imma put down my thoughts on this post as i read the chapter. putting this under a read more bc i might get rambly

just the chapter summary has got me SO EXCITED. i am so ready for katara questioning her brother & all of the suki/yue content in this fic is just SO GOOD, ppl, SO DAMN GOOD. also skipping school is *chefs kiss* peak high school romance content and i’m desperately trying to unlock my twilight memories bc IS THIS WHERE WE GET TO SEE ZUKO GLITTER IN THE SUN??? okok on to the actual fic now

ahh, that sibling solidarity of not asking anything in front of the parent even tho u desperately want to interrogate ur sibling<3<3<3 also sokka w beautiful, beautiful awkward teen avoidance of personal questions

sokka ur little sister has A PLAN and u should probably be AFRAID. torturing ur sibling w not asking the questions u clearly want to ask and letting them sit in their own stew for days is also peak sibling interaction. the dynamic between katara and sokka in this fic is one of the many, many things that make me love this fic so much more than the og twilight

zuko getting over the avodation phase and jumping into the ‘i wan to know everything’ phase is a BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL thing. also that unnecessary touching????????? SIR, YOU ARE IN A SCHOOL. STOP MAKING UR CRUSH BLUSH. STOP BEING SUCH AN ADORABLE ASSHOLE FLIRT

i already yelled about this @ haley when they dropped this snippet as a preview in my messages bUT LET ME YELL ABOUT IT AGAIN. its just !!!!!!!!!! SO GOOD !!!!!!! i still cant believe i had forgotten about the whole ballet thing in og twilight & the mental image of bby katara and sokka doing ballet together is SO PRECIOUS i cant get over it

damn boys, get a hold on yourselves. ya gotta study. or at least sokka does. also can yall imagine sitting behind these fools in class? can you? u would be torn between wanting to smile at their cuteness and wanting to throw up bc they are TOO cute already at this point in their budding relationship. in fic form tho? i can just grin like a madman while reading

ohhhhhhhhhh yeah didnt expect that either sokka

lmao this is a mood and a half

oh sokka, you fool. if u want to avoid a topic, then u avoid it at all costs. ESPECIALLY when u want to avoid it w ur little sister. bc little sisters are RUTHLESS

alright im not gonna screencap the entire questioning convo, but DAMN DO I LOVE IT. sokka having katara brings such an interesting dynamic to this fic. in the og twilight bella didnt have to keep secrets from anyone else than her father (and lets face it, even loving parents dont know shit about their tenagers) and her friends, which she had only met recently.

sokka is in a much, much more tricky situation w a sister who cares about him and his safety and also KNOWS him. damnnn. i’m very excited to see how this whole thing plays out & at what point katara figures shit out/sokka tells her

I HAD ALSO FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE PROM. WE ARE GOING TO SEE READ ABOUT SOKKA AND ZUKO AT THE PROM. WILL THEY WEAR MATCHING TIES/BOWTIES? WILL THEIR SLOWDANCE BE ENRAGINGLY CUTE?? I BET YES TO ALL OF THE ABOVE

MY SHIT EATING GRIN MATCHES AANG’S

aang is precious and i love him & suki is an asshole and i love her even more. also yue getting to do some teasing as well, being a dumb teenager like the rest of the group.... uggh, it makes me emotional. how i wish she would’ve lived in canon so we could’ve seen suki and yue ribbing sokka in canon too

aang and katara are so cute!!! some hets do deserve rights. also sokka and katara with the sibling solidarity again is beautiful

thE SMIRK. THE POUT. THE SERIOUS LOOK. THE TOUCHING. I’M !!!!!!!!!!!

YESS i DID remember!!! glitter zuko glitter zuko!!!!!!!!!

asdfghjkl i LOVE this piece of dialogue. PEAK COMEDY

i KNOW half of the things im saying are about katara and sokka’s relationship, but i just adore realistic sibling interactions. this is some good, good content

OH MY GOD. zuko, stop. i almost choked on my ice cream when i read this, he texts even worse than my grandma and i both hate it and love it asdfghj

look at sokka being a revolutionary bi, wearing flannel ON TOP of his hoodie

for some reason this line unlocked the memory of the “spider-monkey” line from the twilight film. asdfghjk. i dont know which i want more: that this fic has it or that it doesnt

OH SHIT. for some reason i had just assumed toph was going to take the alice role, mai the rosalie and haru the jasper. and i was kinda sad that oh no there’s not going to be an emmett. but i assume jasper is the one we’re ditching? good riddance southern boy aND MORE IMPORTANTLY, DOES THIS MEAN TOPH IS EMMETT? BC IF SO, I AM SO, SO FUCKING HAPPY AND ALSO I CANT BELIEVE MY DUMB ASSUMPTIONS WERE ROBBING ME OF THIS REALISATION

GLITTER ZUKO!!! *happy dance* also i’m in love w how zuko is awkward over his giller skin bc it’s weird & not w that ‘skin of a killer’ shit lmao

MY HEART IS SO SOFT FOR THESE FOOLS

sokka u smart, smart boy. i love u

*eye emoji* i have never in my life wished so hard that i could remember og twilight lines lmao. is this just a fact w no other meaning, or is zuko older than edward??

i ADORE this exchange so much i dont even have proper words for it. the wonderful + i was going to say stupid iS WHAT ROMANCE IS TO ME

i cant believe these idiots invented love

bruh. BRUHHH. BRUH. BRUH

bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i LOVE  this song

bruh,,,,

good GOD, WHAT A CHAPTER. look, i started reading this fic for the lolz and laughs - and it has those! this fic is SO MUCH FUN!!! - but it also has such beautifully stupidly cute romance now and im??? so soft and also dumbfounded. i am honestly just liking this fic very very much. also as i have said a billion times already, the sibling content is 5/5

so. thank u so much for yet another wonderful chapter, haley!! can’t wait for the next, to see those backgroud characters you’re talking about *eyes emoji* 

#sokkadyke

[survivorsunsetrodeo]

Ep 11 | No Regrets. No Mercy. It's Happening. - Ari

Y'all.... the way I just.... asked Emma if she had an idol flaksjlakjfakls

She said no at first, but now she's saying yes lmao. OMG. I literally don't know what to do with this information other than like sit on it? Emma seems to be okay with me knowing this and as much as I want to tell Ari..... god idk this is so big.

This could really shake up the game for me and split up some of the big people in my alliance lkfjalkfja. GOD. Why did I even ask. Well knowledge is power and she wouldn't just like tell me if she didn't trust me???

I know I can't beat Ari and I think against Taylor it would be super close, but I also love them so much, so I would feel so bad if one of them went home bc of me lfkjalkfja. Like what is even happening rn!!! I just. Can't breathe. 

YALL. I just. CANNOT.

Taylor calls me right. And says oh btw Jacob, Ari, and Ali pooled money at swap in order to get the REVOLVER. Which they neglected to tell me. Which is so cute. But THEN! She also tells me that Ali wants to go for Ari this round flshjsjshaa which is kinda hot and I’m BITTER AF because I literally fucking spilled my entire anxious heart to Ari and felt like they were my number 1 and NOW they’ve been hiding shit from me??? Goodbye. So then I tell Taylor about Emma having the beer and now we know where both idols are this round so woo!

So then Ali starts to call me to tell me goodnight and that he loves me (he’s such a sweetie) and I was like Ali what’s the tea? And he just SPILLS everything to me about all the alliances he’s in with Ari and how he knows we don’t stand a chance against Ari at final tribal council. WHICH IS ALL FACTUAL. And definitely things I’ve been thinking about, but also haven’t had the guts to say anything about. So basically a plan was hatched in order to get the 3-2-2 vote to still happen but have it land on ARI with the idol in their pocket this round. I am literally going to go ALL OUT for the next immunity comp bc Ari cannot win.

Sorry Ari, this town ain’t big enough for the both of us. 

got my third idol probably gonna waste it thanks nic hehe <3 Its funny that i was on the very bottom of the tribe now that these people found out i have the idol they want to be my bestie and vote with me i am gonna try very hard to win this immunity so i could only maybe play the immunity idol on josh or he can play it on himself ASDFGH also f2 with 8 people jury just say that redemption island is happening i guess my game plan i hope is to get out ari (pain) then maybe flip and get out maybe dan/jacob i have a feeling after this vote that dan/jacob are probably gonna flip get one of me or josh out probs josh but i dont want that to happen so i am gonna try to make sure i keep on trying to build my relationship with taylor more like i did last tribal also noted wow my biggest weakness in orgs is not my emotions its honestly my self confidence damn also talk to ali more my goat brother <3 also i really miss brandi she was really nice also i feel bad but not super bad that jabari was out i wanted to work with them last vote but they were throwing me utb that wasnt good.. Idk maybe if i hella play these last few rounds then make a very convincing case maybe i do have a small chance of winning idk fuck touchy subjects AHHH it shouldnt effect me now but tribal made me remember again ASDFG even tho theres people who havent made moves like me.

https://prnt.sc/xo035n

The way I was complaining weeks ago that I was gonna go 16th place...I have to laugh. Me and Emma seems to be in a power position this round since the majority alliance is probably starting to turn against each other according to Ari which is great because I'll have options. Last round I told Emma to distance ourselves and search for cracks within the majority alliance. That led to Ari creating The Clementines alliance with me, Ari and Taylor. Now I'm on board on this group but Tay's been doubting keeping me over Jabari as soon as they found out Emma bought another idol. I'm lying to everyone that I didnt give Emma money (which I did) and told them Nic gave Emma money before he left (which was true but it wasn't enough to buy a $500 idol). Emma got close with Dan and Jacob (separately?) but after all the disassociation with Emma people still think we're working together because they keep bringing our names in private conversations. Emma thinks it's Ari & Tay vs Dan & Jacob but Ari tells me that they are willing to vote with me and Emma this round (with Jacob? idk) but I'm not really sure what the dynamics is on their side but Ari wants to go after Tay and Dan which I'm totally on board with the idea. I would rather have Dan go first because I think the Ari and Tay thing can still be useful and Dan has more pre-existing relationships than Tay I think. The best case scenario is for me to win Immunity and with Emma having the tier 2 idol the majority alliance is forced to turn against each other prematurely. Signs have already been forming when Jacob and I called a few days ago about "Taking out the threats". If I can pull off pretending to have an idol too that'd be great because it appears that NO ONE knows where the t3 idol is which is weird. One more thing is that someone noticed about the finale being a F2 with 8 Jury Members. That really doesn't sound right and people seemingly getting money out of nowhere it's possible that some sort of Edge of Extinction or Redemption Island could be at play here. I wonder how far it goes....Premergers feel like they've been gone for far too long to have an impact in the game but hey I could be wrong.

lolz i need to win immunity or josh idk josh is probably good at math i hate math but im gonna keep on trying hehe also if i see something in the saloon brought i know alis ass brought the idol im just gonna keep on trying to remind ali like hey bro if u want a chance of winning dont vote me off aha 

trust list you probably know 1: Josh > everyone else i need more ideas to make confessionals i am kinda tired at this point but dont give up until its over but honestly my tiredness is probably why i am in the retirement home also not me winning like 75 dollars when i almost wanted to abstain because this challenge is always a nightmare this challenge is more fun the emoji math maze... i think ali probs has the idol if he has 135 left when i told him if not if i see something in the saloon brought ill assume ali brought a tier 2 idol i know this tribal is gonna be crazy so i am gonna mentally prepare for it i also told dan i have the idol which is an L but everyone knows that i have it because why would they say they want to work with me when they hella lied to me during the nic vote  also its the fact they seem me hey best person to take to f2 next to ali thank god for this idol honestly i guess another thing im worried about i need to distance myself from josh but thats impossible because i know jacob was straight up with me and told me he wanted to work with me and josh also dan also was kinda like that as long as i can get myself safe this vote ill be fine but like i said in my other confessional  i know dan is probably gonna flip next round maybe i am thinking about targetting them if ari wins immunity o.o also i belong in a retirement hope random thing live finales make me wanna kms because what if i cry live thats so sad and my biggest fear im kinda okay at talking at finales.

so  u can score like 100m in this challenge good bye brb gonna try to get the most points..

ok here's the status report before i go off to bed:

dan is almost definitely tryin some funny business so he has got to go. i'm working with josh and emma on this one and i truly believe they are genuine, and jacob is obvs with that so it'd be four votes dan, three votes whatever the heck happens with the adoption centre split-vote plan. i don't think i even need to play my idol however im debating whether i should do so anyway because taylor is very much on the don't-break-ranks-just-trust bandwagon and i feel like she is going to be angery if i break that to go after dan without it looking like i felt very in danger? i dunno tbh. i could just pin it all on jacob and pretend to be shockedt but that feels a bit dirty and i'd like to own my moves thank u very much.... guess i'll play it out tomorrow and see how i feel

Not me waking up at 3am to a message from Taylor saying that Ari is feeling sketched out by me because I’m being calm.

Oh yeah Ari? Do you want me to act paranoid? I can do that, but maybe I’m not paranoid bc I know where both idols are this round. It just makes me think that Ari likes that I get paranoid and freaked out.

Part of me actually wants to tell them everything about the plan to get them out but at the same time I feel like that will get me voted out. I feel like the mind games are becoming a little too much for me and I don’t even really feel like playing anymore.

lol of course the person i wanted the least to win immunity wins immunity. Things are definitely starting to get spicy and i might've pushed it a little farther when i lied and said Dan is coming after Ari and I mean he might be but it's the push i needed to make for Ari TO STOP BEING VAGUE TO ME.

Bebop (named after Cowboy Bebop don't call me a weeb) has been formed yesterday and it's me, Emma and Ari. What a Galapagos reunion. Ari told that the majority alliance's plan is to split the votes 3-2-2. The 3 is possibly me because it's no secret Emma is going to play an idol. If no shenanigans happen it should be 3 for Dan, 2 for me and 2 for Emma with Dan going home but I do not feel good about this plan because if an idol is played then there's a high chance another one will. I plan on taking Emma's idol and playing it for myself with the reasoning is that there are people willing to keep Emma because of her goat status over me.

What's interesting to me is that Ari told me that Jacob doesn't like Dan and I'm not exactly sure why but if Jacob is open to voting Dan then I more than welcome it. Me, Emma, Ari and Jacob is the alliance that I've been wanting since merge started and how that hasn't been solidified yet is tragic. They're the three people I enjoy talking to the most. I mean, Taylor's great too but she's coming after me so she gotta go! The way that she messaged Ari saying "Are you sure it was the right choice to keep Josh?"....ARI OF ALL PEOPLE. Well, I'm glad the secret pair beware of #TeamLasagna is still going strong. Now that Ari has become less vague I know I can trust them a lot more.

i literally do not understand any of these people and it is driving me NUTS!!!

ok ok ok so like. josh tells me this morning that taylor said she wants to make a move on me because she heard i was talking to people one-on-one about her being most likely to flip. i immediately go oh f*#&$&#@ dan because i had SORT OF said that in our call yesterday so ofc he twisted it and used it against me. except!! then taylor herself calls me and says "josh came to me and asked if i trusted you and i wanted to get info from him so i made up this lie about how you'd said i was most likely to flip, i'm concerned he's coming for you" and i'm like oh f*#&$%#@ me. ofc my first instinct is to think she's lying as it seems like far too big of a coincidence for her to randomly come up with this story that is partially true..... BUT why on earth would she be telling me all this then? does she want to flush my idol? did she think the story would come back to me and wanted to get ahead of it? either way it doesn't make sense for her to say anything if she truly wants to vote me out, but the coincidence.... too much....... and should i be less certain of my relationship with josh? or are both their versions of the story true and they both don't want me out? my head is pounding i swear. plus jacob said that taylor told him she's "worried" about me because of what josh was saying, which lends more credibility to the idea she's being earnest in not wanting me out UNLESS she is aware of how close we are and assumes i'd tell him (i did)? I DON'T KNOW I JUST DO NOT KNOW

and then if that ISN'T enough, i have dan over here being completely erratic, first telling me how bad a day he's had that he almost wants to ask to be voted out, then saying that josh had thrown my name out which like ya i told josh he could do that. but dan's like "i'm not voting you ari i would never" and it's frustrating cuz he knows how to get to my emotions and i wanna believe him! i really do! especially since if he truly wanted me out he shouldn't tell me any of that shit. but i can't trust it i can't!!!!!! it's too risky!!!!!! ughhhhhhh

tl;dr this vote is a mindfuck and i'm 99% going to play my idol because i don't trust any of these fools anymore

also if i had a dollar for every time i tell jacob he needs to go be convincing to someone and he's like "ok bet" and fifteen minutes later that person is telling me "idk about jacob he's being so vague didn't really give me anything" i would have enough money to buy back my gun after i use it tonight

Y’all, sadly I think I’ve yeed my last haw

Well ignore my last confessional i dont want ari out idc how big of a threat they are or good at the game they are im gonna be loyal as i can to them idk before this i thought big moves and like flipping plus being kinda deceitful was to win i did get pots last year for playing that game tho but its like idk i feel like a new side to me like i rather be loyal to people who i been loyal to from the start and not make a move just to make a big move if i lose 7-0 so be it this game i had hopes of people working with me then being deceitful to me so i am just gonna do whatever tf i want this doesnt mean i dont like the people who i am against i think this merge was full of lovely people but theres people i am more loyal then others i honestly gave josh my idol to play because i rather not be alone without them in this game then be dragged to the end by somebody else also this is funny in orgs i thought years and years back ago me and ari are like oil and water, ketchup and ice cream but playing this game with them has been so much fun!! Also if i some how get betrayed or voted off in any round its okay NNN yeah i wish i had more of a game to prove but its very hard when everyone has different connections i really hope dan isnt super mad at me voting them off i really like dan as a person sometimes im dry in his pms but i did love like playing this game with them!! also i wish i can delete my first conf nnn

ugh i am just truly unsatisfied with this round no matter how it actually shakes out. i dont know what to say to taylor about dan going and i'm frankly too tired to think about it, i hate that im most likely wasting my idol but i would kick myself if i didn't play it & got stabbed, and i'm sad about the collapse of the adoption centre which is partly/mostly my fault anyway. i would like to get this over with as quickly as possible.

7th place isn’t something to be sad about I guess. Just wish I could have made it farther. I’m gonna be the most bitter juror out there tbh haha sorry Ari! 

This round is so scary I feel really bad about Dan 

i'm so nervous about who is gonna go omg i haven't heard my name at all but i am still nervous and idk who to trust ahhhh

I came from the best player to the one going home 

Power Rankings ONE - JACOB (+2) Threat: 6 (+2) Trust: 2 (NC) Looking back on this round, I didn’t realize how much power Jacob really had. Jacob could have single handedly sent dan home, but failed to communicate his intentions with the minority. Had Jacob of done this, I could have easily seen him sitting in the final 2. However, this misstep will have major consequences on his game. TWO - TAYLOR (+4) Threat: 7 (+2) Finally getting myself back into a position of power. Regardless of my downfall last round, I picked myself back up and went out of my way to message josh and Emma to see if they’d like to do something. Fortunately for me, they did. I could have sent dan home this round if Jacob had of talked to me (but he had no service). I would have been sitting pretty is a majority of 3 with Emma and josh. Threat level back up, back on track to win the game. THREE - JOSH (+1) Threat: 7 (+3) Trust: 7 (+5) Just like I predicted last round, Josh realized it was time to start making the right moves to get himself further. He just needed to break up the trio. I credit myself more than I credit josh though because I reached out to him, had I not of, he could have went home. But him joining with me was a good move for his game and he recognizes that. FOUR - EMMA (+1) Threat: 4 (+2) Trust: 7 (+5) Emma, similarity to josh had a good round because of me approaching them. Emma and josh didn’t even realize their games were at risk until I figured out that Ari, dan and Jacob weren’t voting me, rather voting one of them. Emma still left this round, but honestly if there was communication on Jacobs part about a flip on the revote, us 3 would have skated by. https://i.imgur.com/lFtZBsl.png FIVE - ARI (-4) Threat: 8 (-2) Trust: 1 (-1) Ari really lost control of their game at this point. Not only are they the biggest threat to win, but now they’re the biggest threat to win challenges. I also saw a different side of Ari that I can’t say I like. It’s funny because I used to always think to myself, “Ari seems nothing like an Aries, they’re so calm and wonderful and sweet” YEAH throw all of that out the window. Mad Ari is a different Ari lol. Anyways back on track, they for once I think were shocked by a vote, the double tie they had no control over. And finally, finally I think we are starting to see the decline of Ari’s game. Threat level is something I’m still trying to figure out how to control, and if you fail to control it like Ari did, you’ll see a similar result. SIX - DAN (-4) Threat: 4 (-3) Trust: 7 (+3) Dan lands here because of his failure to mend a relationship with me, now that I had Emma and josh wanting to work with me, Ari won immunity, and Jacob had an idol, it really only left me with the option of voting for dan. If Jacob had of said something, dan would have left this round. Because dan chose to link back up with Ari last round, and Ari lost control this round, subsequently that means dan also lost control. The one thing Dan has over is he isn’t seen as the biggest threat in the game.

#confessionals #AintNoGloryInTheWest

[samthewrestlingfan]

Get-to-know-me post!

I saw @wrestlingfae did this, and I wanted to play along!

I'm tagging: @wrestlingbabe to do this along with me!

General:

How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Know? Probably 99% of them. Actually consider friends? Probs like 20%.

Do you have any pets: That live with me, no. I have my puppy (she 8 lolz) but she's lives with my Dad.

Do you want to change your name: When I was younger, I wanted to be called ~Stella~. But now that I'm older and wiser (again, lolz) I think Samantha suits me well!

What did you do for your last birthday: WATER PARK WIT DA FAMMMMMM SONNNN!

What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping? Awake scrolling tumblr? Who knows...🙄

Name something you can’t wait for: CHRISTMASSSS 🎄

When was the last time you saw your mum: A few weeks 😣 My whole family lives a state away, but I get home as often as I can!

What are you listening to right now: Modern Family being my background noise.

Have you ever spoken to a person named Tom: Tommy count?

Something that is getting on your nerves: Ignorance.

Most visited website: Probs this--or YouTube!

Hair colour: Dark Brunette

Long or Short Hair: Long, middle of my back!

Do you have a crush on someone: IRL? Nah I gots me a man. Not IRL? HELLZ YES.

What do you like about yourself: My eye color, and my personality fo' sho'

Nickname: Sam, Slaymantha, Shmammy--whichever you prefer

Relationship status: Taken like bacon my friend

Zodiac: Cancer

Pronouns: She/Her

Favourite TV Show: TOO MANY. Parks and Rec, Modern Family, WWE, The Goldburgs, American Housewife

Tattoos: Nope

Right or left handed: Right

Sport: (wheeze)

Eating: If it's a carb it's my friend 👌🏻

Drinking: I only drink water and iced tea lol #HydrationStationRhythmNation

I’m about to: Go to sleep, gots to be up early.

Waiting for: My life to start.

Want: A life I can be proud of

Get married: Before I'm 30.

Career: I'm a makeup artist, but my dream career is with the WWE. I'd love to be a wrestler, but I'm 24 and I feel like I've missed my calling in life tbh

Kissed a stranger: One time. Spin the bottle. Never again.

Drank Hard Liquor: Honestly I only drink at parties and when I'm in a safe setting. I don't "club" or anything like that. I'm probably drunk less than 5 times a year.

Lost glasses/contacts: PLS DONT EVEN JINX ME WITH THIS QUESTION.

Turned someone down: I've never really had to turn anyone down--only a few have wanted me.

Had your heart broken: Once. Never felt pain like that before. Indescribable.

Been Arrested: Never. Im your classic goodie two shoes, I'm afraid.

Fallen for a friend: A few, none ever panned out.

Cried when someone died: Yup.

The Last:

Drink: h2O

Phone call: My Mom!

Text message: "I AM SHOOKETH"

Song you listened to: "Perfect" Ed Sheeran feat Beyoncé

Time you cried: The other day out of frustration.

Have you ever:

Dated someone twice: Nope.

Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes.

Been cheated on: No, thank God.

Gotten drunk and thrown up: YUP.

3 Favorite Colours: Green, Purple, Gray.

In The Last Year Have You:

Made new friends: I have!

Fallen out of love: No ☺️

Laughed until you cried: I do this A LOT.

Met someone who has changed you: Yes!

Find out who your friends are: I have amazing friends and even more amazing best friends!

Which Is Better:

Hugs or Kisses: Kisses!

Lips or eyes: Lips. Eyes. BOTH GAH!

Shorter or Taller: Taller but not A DAMN TREE MY GOSH IM SMALL

Older or younger: Depends on what we're talking about 😏

Nice arms or nice stomach: ARRRMMMMZZZZ

Hook up or Relationship: Relationship

Trouble maker or hesitant:

Hesitant! I can't do anything with my heart--all with my stupid brain. 😣

Do You Believe In:

Yourself: Sometimes

Miracles: I have no reason not too!

Love at first sight: HELL NO. Falling in love quickly? Hells yes.

Santa Claus: W-what? Who doesn't believe in Santa? Santa is magic and magic is a very powerful thing.

Kiss on the first date: Depends on a LOT of factors. If I liked you, then yessss 😉

#tag #personal #samthewrestlingfan

[iloveapocalypto-12]

(tyler x reader)

word count: 1,128

You were recently on one of marks video for a skit! And you were so so proud of being apart of it. You and the squad helped design this skit. People on twitter were only spouting positivity about it!

Amy warned you about not looking at youtube comments. That even though theres positive comments on twitter there is so much shit on youtube. But you thought maybe you would see advice or more positivity. You just wanted to know you were doing something right..

You realized it was a mistake as soon as you scrolled down the video to the comments…

“Ew wttff lol that new person?? Theyre so fuckin annyiny” “Their face is fuckin grosssssss why did mark bring This Person on…. Fuck that bye” “This skit is so dumb MARK YOURE BETTER THAN THIS” “Dhdidbekdb that new persons voice is so fuckingggg annnnooooyyijnnggg lolz why”

“dude the fucking new person is awful they should kill themselves lmaooooo” “????? that new person is super attached to tyler wtf bitch tyler is mine lmao fuckkkk offfffff bitch” “i hope that new dude isnt on the next video,.,,, theirrrr baadd”

You cant stop reading them. Tears fall down your face as you feel your whole body trembling. You physically feel your temperature rising. You try to rationalize but end up making no sense as you fight them in your head. “WE WORKED SO HARD ON IT!!! I have a cute laugh!!! Mark is great and and and… Why am i letting this get to me. Why do i fucking care..”

Next thing you know you’re curled on the floor in one of marks bathrooms. You’re hugging a towel and thinking of all the negative things you’ve ever heard. You are trying so hard to not cry loudly because everyone is home. There’s a knock on the door. You realize you fell asleep on the bathroom floor. You don’t know whether to answer or not. You don’t even know what time it is. You decide not to answer and quietly wipe your face and you feel your face is still warm.  “I NEED TO PEEEEE!!” Ethan yells. You let out a giggle. You gather yourself, this isnt the first time you’ve faked being happy. You let out, “Just a moment dude, i’m finishing up. And isn’t there like I dunno 4 other bathrooms in this house??” “MARK CLOGGED THE TOILET IN ONE AND FOR SOME FUCKIN REASON HE’S VLOGGING IN ONE! AND KATHRYN IS TAKING HER NEEDED BUBBLE BATH! ARE YOU DONE YET  I NEED TO PEE I WILL PEE ON THE FLOOR IF I HAVE TO!”  He genuinely makes you smile. You flush the toilet even though you didn’t use it. You wash your hands and face. You look in the mirror and realize your face is still puffy. “I’m done blue boy” You unlock the door. Ethan opens the door so fast and he doesn't even look at your face. You feel relief for a second but then you remember the comments. All you feel is negativity. You think of another place to hide and go to a closet after grabbing a comfort blanket. 

You get a text from Tyler. ‘hey babe, you ok? i just got back from the gym and Amy said she hasn’t seen you all day’

You start off a text ‘LMAO YA JUST FUCKING CRYING IN A CLOSET BECAUSE PPL ARE FUCKIN DILLWEEDS SO YEPPERS EVERYTHING IS PRETTY FUCKIN NEAATTOO BEANITTOOO’ You delete it all and decide not to answer. You don’t want to take your anger out on him.

You hope he just knows he needs you because you dont want to admit you made a dumb decision. You go back to thinking of all the negativity. You know that just one person can’t cure your depression. You think maybe youtube wasn’t meant for you if you can’t even handle these comments. You have gotten these kind of comments your entire life. Images of being bullied flood through your head. You bite your hand trying not to cry more. 

Then the closet door opens and light floods in. You look up and it’s Tyler. His face drops and you can see his heart breaking. “Babe, babe” He doesn’t know what to say and just sits down. He crawls next to you. “Did you want this door closed?”

You nod. He closes the closet door shut and puts an arm around you. He lays his head on your shoulder. His adorable curls stick to your wet face. “Ew, oh god sorry.” You chuckle as you immediately feel safe with him.

“Who do I need to punch?” Tyler’s defensiveness makes you smile so much. 

You don’t know how to reply. So you just hug him and you bury your face in his chest, feeling his heart beat. You feel at home with him. You two have only been dating for four months and things seem so right especially in that moment. Even though you’re crushed with so much negativity. And you know that he won’t cure your depression. But he makes you want to be a better person. 

Tyler kisses the top of your head and rubs your back gently. “Do you want to talk about things? Or would you rather me shut up and listen?” You hear the sadness in his voice. He cares so much about you.

You nuzzle your face in his chest and try to find words but just end up dramatically inhaling as you let everything out super fast. “I-did-a-bad-and-thought-it-would-be-good-to-read-comments-but-im-stupid-and-awful-and-i-hate-myself-but-also-i-hate-other-people.... im sorry” You squeeze Tyler harder hoping he doesn’t let go.

He pulls away and your heart drops into your stomach. But he cups your face and you can feel his stare and stern face. “You are not stupid. Those people are dumb fucks.” He pauses searching for words. Tyler’s eyes start watering. He hates seeing you hurt. He opens his mouth to start a sentence but closes it and sighs, “People suck, yeah. But not everyone. I mean Mark sucks dicks,” He smiles and gives a shaky laugh and he can feel you smile in the dark. “People have too much time. They are jealous and have only negativity in their lives. But they don’t know you like I do. And yeah you get negative sometimes... But you are my sunshine. And I don’t hate you one bit. And one day... You’ll see yourself the way I see you. As the most beautiful and amazing person in my life.”

Tyler kisses your forehead lingering and you feel a tear drop on you. And you smile feeling the love he radiates. You giggle “I guess you could say im hashtag Smiling Alwayss aayyy ayyyy,” You feel his lips turn into a smile and he chuckles at your dumb joke. 

#tyler x reader #tyler scheid #my fics #ask to tag!!!