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livesincerely · 4 years

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it’s so easy (too easy) to love you, ch. 1

Also on Ao3

00000

Davey’s just gotten out of class—literally just walked out the door—when his phone starts ringing.

“Davey,” Tony says the moment he answers, not even giving Davey time to say hello, “can you swing by the apartment real quick?”

Davey sighs. “Are you locked out of the house again?”

There’s a guilty silence. Then, “Or maybe I just wanna see you, huh? You don’t know.”

“Tony.”

“Charlie’s the one that lost the spare,” Tony capitulates immediately, there’s an indignant “Hey!” somewhere in the background, “and I left my keys in my locker ‘cause I thought Charlie had his—”

There’s a scuffle of noise, then Charlie’s voice breaks in, “—don’t listen to him Davey, I asked him before we even got on the subway if he had his keys and he said he did but he didn’t even check—”

“—well, I thought you had yours, didn’t I?—”

“—and he was twenty minutes late picking me up from band practice because he was too busy making out with Spot Conlon to come help me carry my stuff—”

“—that was supposed to be a secret you little shit!”

“—you started it!”

Davey pulls the phone away from his ear as the other side of the line descends into a mess of indistinct yelling. He thinks about trying to get their attention, but he decides to just start heading towards the apartment, muting his side of the call while he waits them out—they’ll remember him eventually.

In the meantime, Davey sends a quick text:

Tony and Charlie locked themselves out of the house again

He’s not expecting a response, but Jack must be in-between projects because he gets one almost immediately.

jc again?

And you’re going to have to get a new spare made

fuck okay i’ll take care of it. are you heading over?

I’m walking there now

ur the light of my life dave

Davey can’t help but smile at this, a soft feeling fluttering in his chest. Before he can write back, Jack sends another text:

how did ur midterm go?

I feel good about it! Def did better than I thought it would!

duh youve been living in the library all week ofc ur gonna do great. ill swing by the grocery omw home and pick up some ice cream to celebrate. do we need anything else while im there?

Get a bell pepper and some tomato paste, I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner. And we need more laundry detergent.

fuck yes im starving! can we do garlic bread too?

Come home on time and we’ll see.

u drive a hard bargain. kerian owes me a favor so he can stay late tonight lol

“Davey?” The sound of Charlie’s voice, tinny and muffled, prompts Davey to lift his phone back to his ear; it seems like he might’ve been calling Davey’s name for a while. “Are you still there?”

“I’m still here,” Davey confirms.

“So are ya comin’ or what?” Tony cuts in, ever impatient. “I’m roasting out here!”

“Well, I was thinking about leaving you to ruminate on your poor life choices,” Davey responds dryly, “but I guess I can come let you in, since you asked so nicely.”

“Thanks, Davey,” Charlie says.

“I’ll be there soon,” Davey confirms.

“Hurry, will ya? Much longer and I’m gonna get heatstroke and die,” Tony declares.

Davey rolls his eyes. “Goodbye, Tony.”

00000

When he arrives at Jack’s building some twenty minutes later, Davey finds Tony and Charlie right where he expects them: crowded together in the little bit of shade the roof’s overhang offers, wearing identical grumpy expressions that brighten immediately when they spot him approaching.

"Finally!" Tony exclaims, shooting to his feet. "What took you so long?"

“Stop losing your keys and you won’t have to wait for me,” Davey counters, slotting his key into the deadbolt and hefting open the heavy exterior door. He props it open with his hip and lets Tony and Charlie scurry past him into the AC. “You couldn’t get anyone to buzz you in?”

“Old Man Davis hasn’t gotten his hearing aid replaced yet,” Charlie explains as they climb the stairs up to the second floor, “and Mrs. Ikeda isn’t home.”

“She joined a new book club,” Tony adds. “She won’t be back till late.”

“Oh, I’ll have to ask her about it when I see her next,” Davey muses.

He gets the apartment door unlocked and the boys pile inside, tossing their backpacks down with dramatic groans of relief. Charlie makes a beeline for his bedroom; Davey expects Tony to do the same but he takes a seat at the kitchen table instead, booting up his laptop with a couple of keystrokes.

“I’ve got a paper due in English tomorrow,” Tony explains. “Can you look it over once it’s finished? Maybe later this evening”

“Of course,” Davey replies. “What’s it on?”

“Lord of the Flies.”

Davey’s nose wrinkles up. “Oh, I hated that one. What’s the essay prompt?”

“Identify Golding’s argument about human nature as proposed in Lord of the Flies,” Tony reads off the top of the assignment outline. “Then make an argument agreeing or disagreeing with his assessment, using evidence from the text.”

Davey rolls his eyes. “Good to see that high school literature classes haven’t changed much in the last few years,” he says with a sigh. “How much have you written so far?”

“Oh, I haven’t even started it yet,” Tony casually rebuts.

“Is everything going okay?” Davey asks, frowning slightly. “If things are getting worse we can make an appointment—”

But Tony waives his concerns aside. “Nah, this is regular old procrastination, not ADHD procrastination. Like ya said, Lord of the Flies sucks ass, so I just didn’t want to write it.”

“Well, let one of us know if you start having trouble,” Davey says.

"Okay, mom,” Tony agrees, somewhat distracted. He’s already got a blank document pulled up on his laptop, a battered and thoroughly dog-eared copy of the book laying open beside him.

Davey looks at him for another moment, then he shrugs and continues making his way into the kitchen—he figures there’s no need to worry unless Racer starts actually missing assignments. And he’s right: Lord of the Flies does suck ass.

By the time Jack gets home they’re each fully entrenched in different activities: Davey’s washed a sink full of dishes and is working on drying the last few pieces of silverware, Tony is still posted up at the kitchen table, carefully hammering out a draft of his paper, and there are the familiar sounds of Charlie working through different musical scales on his oboe in the back bedroom.

“Honey, I’m home!” Jack calls jokingly as he enters. There’s a rustle of plastic and soft thunk of the front door closing behind him, then he comes around the corner into the dining room with an armful of groceries.

“Hey, Jack,” Davey greets absently. He starts rifling through the bags almost before Jack can finish putting them down. “Did you get the tomato—?”

“I got the tomato paste,” Jack says, kicking off his shoes and leaving them in the entryway with all the others, “and I picked up some more of that fancy coffee you like from the place around the corner, even though it’s expensive as all hell.”

“Don’t judge me,” Davey replies, gathering up an armful of vegetables and carrying them further into the kitchen. “You spend a semester grading 'Intro to Shakespeare' homework and tell me how much caffeine you consume.”

“I’m just saying, the rest of us schmucks drink regular coffee and do just fine,” Jack continues. “You can feed your crippling caffeine addiction just as well with Folgers and it’ll cut down on the grocery bill.”

“Watch it, Kelly,” Davey says, pointing a finger teasingly in Jack’s direction. “Smartasses don’t get dinner.”

“‘s that so?” Jack asks with a grin. “Then why the hell are we still feeding Tony?”

“I heard that,” Tony grumbles from the kitchen table.

“Yeah, you were supposed to,” Jack says, moving over to Tony and slinging an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a side hug. Tony bats at Jack’s hand but makes no real attempt to get away. Then Jack says, “So, I hear you and your brother lost another set of keys.”

Tony throws Davey a look of the deepest betrayal. “You told Jack?”

“Of course he did,” Jack says. “Someone’s gonna have to get new ones made, and it sure ain’t gonna be either half of the dynamic duo.”

“Charlie lost the spare,” Tony says, mercilessly throwing Charlie under the bus while he’s not in the room to defend himself. “And I didn’t lose my keys, I just left them in my locker.”

“Uh huh, save it for the judge,” Jack responds, ruffling Tony’s hair. “Just know if I end up having to change the deadbolt, it’s coming outta your subway money.”

“Jackie, leave Tony alone,” Davey comments mildly over Tony’s spluttering protests. “He needs to work on that paper and you’re distracting him.”

“Yeah, Jack,” Tony repeats, a little smug. “You’re distracting me.”

Davey turns to look at him, one eyebrow raised. Tony quickly busies himself with his homework.

Davey makes quick work of washing a green pepper and peeling an onion, then starts dicing both into small, neat pieces. He feels more than hears Jack sidle up behind him: the familiar weight of his gaze, the solid presence at his back. He stands there quietly, leaning against the counter-top and just watching Davey cook; unbothered, Davey leaves him be for the moment and moves to the stove, scraping the chopped vegetables off the cutting board and into a pan to start softening.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Davey glances over his shoulder at Jack and says, “Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me with this? You know there’s no loitering in my kitchen.”

“Well, I’m nothin’ if not a law abidin’ citizen,” Jack drawls in answer, the corner of his mouth quirking up. He rolls up his shirt sleeves, exposing the long, muscular line of his forearms, and washes his hands in the kitchen sink. “Where do you want me?”

Davey licks his lips. “Think you can handle browning the hamburger?”

“I’m sure I can manage,” Jack responds with a smirk.

Davey steps out of the way, letting Jack take his place in front of the sauce pan while he gets a pot of water set up on a different burner, salting it so it boils faster. They settle into their familiar dinner-routine, moving around and past each other with ease as they work on getting everything ready, chattering idly all the while.

“I’ve gotta head back out this evening,” Jack says at one point, as he sets the tray of garlic bread in the oven to toast. “Johnson’s got me working a night shoot and I have to be downtown by 9.”

“How long is the session?” Davey asks. “Here, will you open this?”

“We’re scheduled for five hours, but we might get to wrap it up early if everything goes well.” Jack’s hand brushes against the small of Davey’s back and they trade places again, Davey stepping back up to the stove-top and Jack rifling around in one of the drawers for a can opener.

“Are ya spendin’ the night or are ya headin’ back to campus?”

“Depends on how much help Tony needs with his paper,” Davey replies, shaking his head. He takes the can when Jack hands it back to him and empties it into the saucepan, then gives the whole thing a good stir. “We might be at it a while.”

Jack huffs out a laugh. “Well, if you do spend the night, go ahead and take the bed. The extra blankets are in the usual place.”

Davey sets down the spoon he’s holding, crossing his arms across his chest. “Jack,” he says warningly.

“Davey,” Jack echoes back in the exact same tone of voice. In the background there’s the faint sound of Tony muttering, “Jesus, not this again.”

“Jack, I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed,” Davey says, rehashing the same old argument for what feels like the millionth time. “I’m perfectly fine taking the couch.”

“Or you could do the smart thing and just take the bed,” Jack counters as he always does. “I’m not even gonna be here to use it.”

“You’ll want an actual mattress when you get home, especially if you’re out late.” Davey argues. “I don’t even have class tomorrow, it’ll be fine.”

“If you don’t take the bed I’ll just carry you in there once I get back,” Jack says, as if that's a perfectly reasonable course of action. “So you might as well save me the trouble.”

Davey sputters. “That’s not— You can’t just— That only happened a couple of times!” he finally gets out.

"Well, actually, it's been more like four or five times," Jack says with a smirk. "But hey, who's counting?"

"That trick won't keep working," Davey grumbles, feeling the back of his neck start to heat up.

“You sleep like a fucking rock, Dave,” Jack says, rolling his eyes. “Why wouldn’t it keep working?”

“No, see, that’s exactly why I should take the couch,” Davey insists. “It’s not like the sound of you coming in will wake me up—”

Jack turns to face him. Davey cuts off, slightly startled—he hadn’t realized they were standing so close to each other.

“Just take the bed, Davey,” Jack all but orders, and those dark eyes with that low voice are a heady combination. “Please?”

Davey bites at his lower lip, suddenly flustered. “Fine,” he reluctantly concedes, hoping Jack will attribute his flushed face to the heat of the kitchen. “Just this once.”

"Thank you," Jack says with a dramatic heave of his chest, looking much too pleased with himself. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"You're letting the garlic bread burn," Davey answers tartly.

"Oh shit—!"

00000

Later that evening, after they’ve all finished eating and have cleaned up, Davey, Tony, and Charlie are still gathered around the table, working on various assignments.

Davey is finishing the readings for his Monday lecture in between helping Tony finalize the exact wording of his essay. Charlie sits opposite him, working through his geometry homework and every so often there’s a huff of breath and the rubbery scratch of an eraser—Davey makes a mental note to swipe some more pencils and notebook paper from the grad lounge when he’s there next.

Davey notices the time and frowns. “Jack,” he calls out, “it’s already 7:30. If you don’t leave soon you’re gonna be late for work.”

There’s a clamor of noise from down the hall, then Jack appears, freshly showered and fumbling to put on his socks and button up a clean shirt at the same time.

“Fuck, Johnson is gonna kill me,” Jack grumbles. He pats down his pockets, then groans. “Christ, has anyone seen my—”

“Your wallet and keys are on the counter by the microwave,” Davey says, pointing. “And take a jacket, it’s supposed to rain later.”

“Great, I’m sure the models will love that,” Jack says with a groan. “Hopefully we’ll be able to get through everything without getting rained out.”

He meanders his way over to the table, peering at Charlie’s homework from over his shoulder. “If Tony is still busy and ya get stuck, text me,” Jack tells him. “I probably won't be able to answer right away, but if ya send me a picture of the problem I can probably talk ya through it between shots.”

Charlie hums his acknowledgment, still scribbling furiously. Jack turns to Tony.

“Listen to whatever Davey tells you about your paper,” he advises. “The only reason I got through undergraduate writing was ‘cause Davey proofread all my shit before I turned it in.”

“I thought I was s’pposed to always listen to Davey,” Tony says distractedly, tongue poking out between his teeth as he types.

Jack pauses, considering. “Yeah, just do that.”

“Jack—”

“Oh, and Dave cooked, so you shitheads better do the dishes, get me?”

“Jack, you’re gonna be late,” Davey cuts in firmly, holding out Jack’s jacket for him.

“Alright, I’m going,” Jack says, shrugging it on, and he finally starts making moves towards the door.

He gives Charlie one last pat on the shoulder and cuffs Tony lightly across the back of the head in a slightly rougher, but no less affectionate goodbye, which is per usual. Then he turns to Davey, tips his chin up, and kisses him right on the mouth, short and sweet.

“Lock the door behind me and don’t forget to—” Jack stops mid-sentence, then turns bright red.

“Um,” says Charlie.

“Holy shit,” says Tony.

Jack’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly. Finally, he stammers out, “I u-uh— I-I d-didn’t mean—“

Davey doesn’t respond. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to—he’s frozen in place, his mind a sudden wash of static. For a moment, they just stare at each other. Then Jack blurts, “gottagoseeyoulaterbye,” and bolts out the front door.

Davey’s not sure how long he stands there, staring blankly into space, utterly dumbfounded.

“Davey?” Charlie asks hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

There’s a strangled, choking noise. A split second later, Davey realizes it’s coming from him.

"...What just happened?"

#newsies #javid #jack kelly #davey jacobs #*final cut #*the writing desk #*editor's note #the one where it's domestic #oof this was a long time coming #this au might become its own series #the javid coparenting vibes are REAL and i NEED them #btw there will be a couple more chapters of this so stay tuned

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warmcoals · 4 years

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hiii ok first off i just wanna say i love u and ur blog and ur a huge icon to me. i need some advice if thats okay. i joined an animal crossing discord server and my best friend in there gives me serious egg vibes. should i say anything or just wait for them to come to me?

thank you for those ridiculously kind words. i cant understand being an icon but i hope im a decent one for you anon 🙇‍♀️

ok so here's the warmcoals deep lore: i have never hatched an egg in my life. and this is considering 85% of my friends are grade-a clear as crystal eggs. for all my talk im just a big schmuck so dont think of me as some authority on the subject 💀

BUT!!!!! i have learned some actually valuable lessons about how to handle this sort of thing from my vast collection of failures...ill kinda sum up what to do and not do to at least be the right kind of support to help them along, even if it takes forever

DO NOT: ask straight up if theyve thought about being trans, or any version of that. humans do not want to be told whats going on as a rule. it doesnt matter about being right or wrong or anything, if a person is gonna get somewhere theyre gonna use their own directions. also if someone does mention even a shred of gender stuff to you, dont assume their journey/presentation will match yours. i was wayyyy too pushy with one friend about skirts being a necessity and it def didnt help them at all.

DO: be as totally comfortable, open, and happy in your transness as possible. the best moment in the world for me was when i sent all my guy friends a meme about being the only trans girl in the group and they all ate that up, or like in animal crossing showing off all the cute fun outfits ive had fun making. even on other levels, like talking a tiny bit about hrt here and there, ive gotten braver about how i present and act and talk around them. and that has had so much more payoff than forcing the issue ever did. sometimes, if its a more serious/earnest talk, ill mention unhealthy feelings n habits that related to my "cis" phase, to open up and also sort of relate to stuff they are also going through (eg not having interests, bad relationships). they get a good idea of what trans is, and how happy i am as trans, and they might not connect the dots that it's them too (and dear sweet god is it) but theyll start being more brave in their engagement and exploration of gender, and even if they dont transition, i hope in some way they will work towards being truer versions of themselves.

tldr: dont tell them theyre trans, do Be Hella Trans and just a super supportive friend. sit gently on top of them until you feel that shell start to crack

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decadent-hag · 5 years

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tw for death stuff i guess under the cut -- but no actual death

i feel like such a schmuck!!!!! all these years ive been balking at my sister (and to a lesser extent my mom) for their weird(er than usual) hangups/anxiety around death and just realized that uh. i have some pretty fuckin weird issues around death too, they’re just different and have gotten better over time, while theirs have gotten worse.

my sister had severe separation anxiety when she was young and it was hell getting her to go to kindergarten/school etc bc she would have these huge meltdowns when my parents would try to leave. she said recently that it was bc when she was little she had constant anxiety that our parents would die.

but i had severe anxiety that i would die. it probably started when i was hospitalized for a severe infection when i was 4 years old. I still have trauma from that and a serious phobia of going to the doctors (i generally dont). but it manifested as an every day thing probably when i was in first or second grade, as a result of the usual urban legends kids like to freak each other out with. I was certain, for probably a day and a half, that i was going to die At Any Moment because i had swallowed some pop rocks without letting them pop in my mouth first.

i few years later i worked myself into a full on panic attack thinking i was gonna die because accidentally poisoned myself by using Too Much orajel in. this went on for a full day.

Not long after that I worked myself up again thinking i was gonna die of tetanus because i had scraped myself on a nail poking out of a door frame in our house.

I should note that unlike my sister, i h a t e d drawing attention to myself, the thought that i was inconveniencing or worrying anyone was abhorrent to me so All of these times I suffered in silence walking around like nothing was wrong but inside I was SURE these were my final hours on earth.

things quieted down from ages 13-15ish but i remember once i got settled in to high school this anxiety came creeping back.

Only this time it was not specific incidents that would send my spiraling into paranoia about my own demise. it was an every day, lurking fear that I would die in my sleep. To the point where it became less of a fear and more of an indisputable fact that, any night now, i would just not wake up. This lead to a period of serious insomnia for me bc like...if i didnt go to sleep i couldnt die? or at least i’d know death was coming. I also used to go try to sleep out on the couch or floor of the living room, which was close to my parents room. Teens already run low on sleep and I was doing even worse. I would go days without it sometimes.

This went on into my early 20s though it wasn’t as severe. It was more like I was at peace with it. Like I still “knew” i was gonna die in my sleep but like....acceptance had settled in. sometimes i had “prophetic dreams” that would give me a timeline and I would basically be a ball of panic until The Day came and eventually passed by and, surprise surprise, Not Dead! There was a point where I would wake up every day and congratulate myself for making it.

I had absolutely NO basis for thinking any of this!!!! and again, told literally no one about it. this is the first time im really talking about it in any detail. My mom knew i was having trouble sleeping but didnt know the extent or the reason.

what the fuck my dudes?!??!?!?!

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beliefbled-a-blog · 7 years

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Funny Stuff said on a Discord chat the Sentence Meme.

taken from a discord chat that my friends and I are in together and say a lot of weird shit in .

001. no fucc no succ no luck. 002. i hope i die. 003. i’m gay. 004. ahoy bitch 005. larry the cutecumber wink 006. God is Bigger than The Boogie Man 007. eat my sparkly family friendly dick you cockdouche mothershitter 008. what the fuck did I just type 009. stab me mom 010. why are you knifing me mom 011. death awaits me at the gates of hell (jumping onto my pony) Later nyall 012. i'm scared of talking food 013. fam if u wanna be included in the weeding dong pull this shit 014. let weeding dong die 015. nintendo can suck my donkey kongs 016. hey let's read veggietales porn 017. i lay awake at night thinking about hajime 018. i was threatened? 019. I want to die 020. guess i'm a real dick sucker now 021. i’m doing god's work 022. god is so toxic 023. choke on a walnut 024. CHOKE ON A NUT 025. gimm like `0 moints to make coffee 026. i thought discord borked 027. GOD LEFT ME UNFINISHED 028. THE BEE MOVIE IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE 029. im dlirting. disgusted flirtying 030. do you have time to talk about our lord and savior ____ 031. i'm literally disowning all of you 032. buzz buzz 033. i want death 034. hajime is G A Y ; you can quote me on that 035. (with love) Die 036. bork bork 037. they should spend a night in the wendigo cave 038. good christian boy 039. i will personally dropkick you into a pond of geese 040. I AM THE EGG MAN HEAR ME CRACK 041. (stabs self, yolk goes spilling everywhere) oh no! my yolk! 042. AH NO !!! WATERSPORTS 043. SHIT FUCKING GODDAMN asshole 044. i hope u fuc king fuck urself u motherfucker cocktwat aSS FU CKER SHIT SICLE TWAT BAG 045. the fuck the fucking FUCK 046. i should've shoved spongebob up his ass 047. I'M GONNA MCFREAKIN(TM) SHOVE A COCKSICLE IN THE CANNON BALL GERONIMO BEARFUCKER SCHMUCKS!!!!!!! 048. GOD IS DEAD 049. when life gives you lemons take those lemons and shove them so far up the earth's ass everything fucking explodes and we all die so we're finally released frOM OUR MEANINGLESS FUCKING EXISTENCE LMAO LIFE CAN KISS MY ASS I NEVER WANTED THESE LEMONS HONESTLY JUST FUCKING S U C K I T 050. I JSS UT C HCOKED ON A AUFCKCIGN ME ABT BALL VOER THESE 051. everypony run 052. FUCK YOU ME QUOTE 053. wanna meet up in some catacombs? it’ll be sexy i promise 054. every time i breathe i get receiptsd 055. his ahoge is a shooty 056. hajime. cant. shooty. his. gay. 057. ko will take hajimes ahoge and shoot himself 058. im washing my eyes with acid as i type 059. ____ I'M GONNA BORK YOU NOW 060. fUCK OFF YOU EDGY PRICK I WAS JOKIGN 061. um, i have a winter feel, check your seasons. 062. i will murder all of you 063. it's a fuckin fanfiction 064. gay voice: i'm in 065. physically my body is here but mentally I’m in the astral plane beating myself up in the target parking lot 066. jesus don't you know your fucking veggietales lore

#rp meme #rp sentence meme #* .° ✦` ⁞ INBOX ◞ : ` display for me your shining hope.

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lairep · 7 years

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Ugh can you stop whining already? The resposters you're demonizing are HELPING YOU by giving you EXPOSURE so you can be popular like all the other popular artists like there (edendaphne, taylordraws, qookyquice, sakura-rose12, ferisea, ceeljes, etcetara). Posts on instagram with their art helped them become popular and the "evil" reposters are only trying to help you to. Just let them repost soon you'll get 1000 followers. So stop being whiny and just let them help your unpopular ungrateful ass!

Hello, anon! Normally, I would ignore rude anons and immediately delete them, but I feel this type of ask is relevant to raising awareness of the problem we have with reposters, art thieves, and the like. So here we go!

It’s true, I may not be as popular as any of the tumblrs you have mentioned (btw, you misspelled a few :c), but that doesn’t mean I’m not entitled to the rights of, I emphasize, MY OWN WORK. Also, I’m not sure where I was whining anywhere, can you give a source? And what am I supposed to be grateful for exactly? ┐(‘～`;)┌

But yeah, even if I had only 3 followers and half a sandwich, a thing I made and posted is still something I explicitly own. It came from me. All I did was share it via tumblr. If I didn’t share it, guess what? I still made it. The only difference when I shared it was so people can see it too. But I still made it. The reposter didn’t, the art thief didn’t—it was me. Henceforth, it is mine to control how it’s shared and used. You are not entitled to up and use my work without permission, no matter how you justify it.

That goes for all the ‘unpopular’ artists out there too. You created a thing out of nothing. It is yours and no one else’s. If anyone tries to put you down to get you to allow them to repost your stuff or give them ‘free commissions’ for so-called “EXPOSURE”, politely decline them (or flip them off, it really depends on you 👀).

You have something they don’t—your skill. Don’t let them take that from you because they made you feel bad that they make 1000+ notes/likes per (re)post they “made” compared to your sketch getting 9 notes and a supporting comment from grandma. At least you have a skill to make a thing, a skill you can only get better at over time, as opposed to a reposter’s skill of Googling and right-click Save/pressing Print Screen. Because any old schmuck can do that. I can do that. My grandpa can do that. My 4-year old nephew can do that.

We all start from nothing, so have pride in what you can do by yourself! Don’t give up and work hard and I guarantee you, people will definitely notice your effort, be it sooner or later. c: (I was gonna cite Van Gogh as an example of ‘later’ but uhh he got popular after he died so that might be a bad example i’ll shut up about that now im sorry)

But I digress! Back to anon. Your claim is because I’m not a popular artist, I can get recognition via reposters, so I should be grateful. To be frank, I think that claim is all sorts of dumb. It doesn’t explain why reposters then STILL repost work by artists who are clearly more popular than their repost account/s. They certainly don’t need any exposure. The math just doesn’t add up, anon. :c

I do apologize if trying to put me down like this didn’t work out. I am confident in my own (albeit not-that-good-yet) ability and I truly believe that if I do work hard enough, I can make it out there. And even if I never do, at the very least I didn’t enable attitudes such as yours to permeate and be justified. I’ve made friends who appreciate what I do, and at the end of the day, it’s more than enough for me. Even if I don’t make it big, I know they’ll be right here supporting me anyway. My question is, who do you have, anon?

I hope sending out this ask helped you dislike yourself a little less. c: Sorry for the long post!

If anyone needs more information about the reposting/art theft problem and the protest, check out @miraculousblackout! They have all sorts of posts and links to help educate you! If anything else is still unclear, just send an ask. We are here to guide you. Just remember, be respectful! Have a good day! ヾ(☆'∀'☆)

#miraculousblackout #miraculous blackout #reposting #art theft #sorry for the long post #but many points to address #and also i digressed a lot #aaaa #lai answers #Anonymous #long post apologies!

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deythbanger · 5 years

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It's Not A Happy (Part 2)

By DeYtH Banger Note: Finally I am going to finish the story… it's time! … I don't know from where to start gender male,white skin… I hate comedy… I hate going out.. A killer come and has shooten a bitch.. This line sucks and I as a writer suck! It's not a happy story, if you are looking for such one you got the wrong section ... brand the writer. Just give a thought, I have pleny of time… so here is what I can tell you the story ends with me shooting myself right in the head, end of procrastination… end of laziness. So far I am lazy snob, mentally fucked up, I can't go out and I have guns… I like to play with holes. But still I don't know how to start how to shape a story, I don't know how to say it… I AM NOT LIEING… I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY IT It's a comedy or something funny, my name is David and the story goes around "Red Velvet Girl", it bothers me around, it's not like the Dexter TV show in which he cuts of pieces in each season humans are exposed like piece of meat, chunks of meat… he takes blood splatter and that's his trophy, easy story and easy to get. Then we go to R.L. Stine it starts with boring day… until.. a sudden chill… thrill comes and then the characters find their journey into a end comming. Stephen King when you start reading books written by this creature from hell… he fucking grabs you on the neck.. palms… he makes to shake while you are confused on "what that line means?", "what does that mean?"… It's total unease… Still I don't know how to say it… I know what happen, it's definetly my fault, I can't sleep… I can't eat.. I can't go out… I can't go and do casual stuff, my life has reached it's pin point of hardness, if it's comedy you throw lines abd tell stuff … then you "size it up", which means you become the big deal… then you go with motto fuck the big deal. Here is what happen… I think I can say what happen.. I was sleeping one night until I wake up from the noises from other room, the other room was a near room… roaring shit… my mom had gone insane… my grandmother and grandfather were beating each other as for my father he was in the kitchen. Blood on the floor, smell from his smelling dead body and it started melt,... just to stand with the point it had nothing to do with him, I didn't told him to come and shoot himself... I didn't told him that, if somebody is here to blame it's the noises from the room once silence does not appear other type of alternatives come and open doors, the gun in his hands… mouth open and blooding gashing from his mouth, head… my dog barking and as for me screamming. PROBABLY YOU GOT THE SYMPHONY, right here… of you are killer and you have descipline weak mind... terror, won't happen.. but to me it happen. I went in the room and created the most empty space silence… by me grabbing the weapon and shooting my mom… my grandmotger and my grandfather. After a moment it felt great, it was like the best bright day I ever had and will have, free from trauma, from average mindset, from fucked up complaining about work, life, money. The last topics I hate them! Better off to put a rope around a dog and throw somebody from the window, than to listen to a some kinda bitchy shield attitude toward life. Life is short, the amount you get in the end is not fair, I definetly raped a girl… it was't my daughter… it was nobody… Look people if it's my daughter it gets personal. The one of the rules of killing is depersonalize from people which you have killed, it lowers guilt levels. From psychology stand point it's fucking damn right as bright as bright early sunny beach. My mom was a bitch that's why I killed her... okay… okay probably I was wrong, probably it was the most bad idea ever come to my mind, killing my mom… first of all I am number one suspect and with raping shit, probably I am on the list and people are hunting me down.. searching me.. and how the fuck do you dispose a dead body!? Am I only fucked up? Dear reader, tell me... tell me that you have nights in which you feel like to rape and kill... and to molest and to slaughter people and to cut... and to shoot people... just tell me... My body is weak and my mind is buffering... it's like a black and whited glitched tv... it's bugged... I am mentally screw it up, the last thing which I want on the list is somebody telling me that I did wrong... them more I rationalize the more I fucked up, I get... so close the window... continue and please promise to don't judge me... I did a conffesion... I did it for my own good... but still it makes me selfish... or am I? That's how life goes it starts and it ends… my mom life ended with sudden flash as for others… people it just happen… it was chain reaction. Guilt level start pumping in ….. and out… in ….. and out… in ….. and out… in ….. and out… in ….. and out… in ….. and out… in ….. and out… in ….. and out… in ….. and out… in ….. and out… in ….. and out… in ….. and out… it was an anxiety... it was a deep oven... inside me... at first it was great... then it felt bad... it felt like a hangover... it was awful that I need to deal with being less suspicious, to clean up the scene and get together my life… this shit is just too much… If I try to kill myself, it''s a bad idea… one sperm loses capacity to reproduce, probably I am going to get it wrong… That's why I need to throw myself on the rail tracks… that's how it's going to happen… A train goes over my body… then on television I am going to be a superstar and after a period I am on the wall of "Shame On You". I gave a second thought, why not to get some kinda virus from sex... and now really it's again a bad a idea... to go and to suffer because of reproduction... what.. if somebody shoots me ... or somedy kills me... still a deep inner suffering is going to come to action... give a thought... all negative action by itself are self-destructive and self... screwing up... that you don't see.. it doesn't mean you don't feel!.... "Oh… hey David How are you?" - He said "Larry, how far did you got with this questions?" - I said "What?" - He said I hate this people walking outside looks like their shit is together, got a home… got a wife, family. Have where to sleep eat and even to work. It makes me to hate myself… but still the dead bodies… how about this… what the hell am I going to with them. How about throwing myself out of a bridge, I won't get married so it's not far… I hate fat people … I hate and Larry to be honest… If I kill myself, I need to leave a note as a reason… as "why"… "main reason…", "Motivation by which I was drive to this sudden action"… How about fuck you?… This looks great, I am carefree and Ibdon't give a fuck… mode… I hate letters when I start giving a thought… I am thinking better off being alive, dieing is to hard it reminds for homework… I hate it! "Eh… schmuck … eh.. David" - He said "What now, Johnson?.. what do you want?"- I said "I am here to fuck with you" - He Said Oh god… save me from this disgusting guy… he is always fucking with me… I am going to skip the other shame tactics.. and go to my next location, why nobody goes to bar and thinks about sex from rape method? Was it a punchline? Was it a good line? Is it funny? I think it sucks.. so does you!? But let me tell you something about the Red Velvet girl it was in the night, she was walking, almost naked… she was definetly a hot stripper, blonde hair, white and not touched face and body. From distance her looks were fooling pleny of people, a mouth full ways to break a man hearth and why does she have a privillige to fuck around with males with man, who allows her? I saw her and I went … to her… it was a sudden chat… fast one… gazing in the eyes then pulling her and putting her in my car while I mumble some shitty stuff which make her mind feel busy… okay you got me here.. I am not a talkative person.. I am not dominant that's why I went to a strip tease bar .. killed the security after entering the bar and I said "LET THE FUN BEGIN" I put a weapon right im the head of the blonde bitch and I said "You suck… my dick right now.." "No…" - she said "Look bitch I am not joking…" - I said Then shooted one stripper and while she was getting to lose concious… I open her mouth and I put my dick inside it.. "Bitches… moves" - I said "Stop… … okay… I am going to do it" - she said I pulled her .. stripped off her and I started fucking her… once… twice… mouth.. ass Mouth.. in out and in and out ... in and out Her eyes were full of tears she was screaming… I was loving the process, what more complimentary than raping precious mother nature? As most people say... "love the process"... yeah I love it... if I didn't love it... won't be here... saying something for which I am proud! "Stay still bitch… I am here to fuck.. okay… Your pain is your problem." - I said I hate when people move what's wrong with them.. she did it one more time movement as for slightly tired and wasted… I looked her in tge eyes.. I spit on her face and then chocked her and I said "No more rejections to sell" But it worries few dead bodies at home and probably right now you gonna call the police it's like I am killing the president.. few more here bodies and I am totally fucked up. I grabbed and pulled in more girl, she was easy.. to get to… and to start the make out… She was good until I decided to pull the gun out and shoot her in the head. "Bitch… dices lie…" - I said Why did I do so wrong? Mhm… how about like no reason at all … guilt levels is up.. I am going definetly on the executing chair so why not to have fun… the other people were staring at me… there were around 20 more strippers and as for me I was with open mouth and a smile and before I decided to continue … I said "Let's have fun, shall we?"

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survivorarabia · 7 years

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EPISODE 8 “Pissy Omg That Is Me” - Issy

Ci’ere

“Recap: Nicole went rogue, two idols were played and one was flushed (thanks to yours truly), Alex is a cat with 9 lives, I lost an extremely loyal ally, and now both sides are evenly split 5-5. Ruthie and Nicole are way closer than I thought, a little too close for my liking. I’m pretty sure Nicole would never play an idol on me, she voted with the other side, and she tried to use the fake information I gave her to play an idol on someone she thought I was voting out. Hell to the naw.”

Aren

I'm honestly just really, really sick of being viewed as a goat in this game. Ya'know, returning after that damn Catastrosicily (Catastrophe + Sicily ya dumb schmuck), all I wanted to do in this damn game was redeem myself -- play a game to be proud of. But... But... *begins tearing up; sad Survivor music begins playing* nobody likes me!! AND NOBODY RESPECTS MY GAME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WAH WAH WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Lena

so i put all 500 on the sealed envelope because yeah. anyway so ruthie just said this in my alliance chat w/ herself myself and richie and alex: "I wonder if he is really 14, he could be a Survivor vet in disguise." about aren..... and i'm shook. I'M a survivor vet in disguise but how am i a vet when i got 6th and then got FIRST BOOT like honestly im a mess but somehow i made it to the jury?????? somehow. anyway its so hard to not tell anyone this but i'm literally going to the finale pre-party and after-parties of the s33 finale in los angeles last month and i just found out today?????? LIKE???????? LOOKS LIKE LENA IS GOING ON ANOTHER CAMPING TRIP HUH................................. jk i'm going to be going to a family reunion in another state. which state?IDK YET. but i'll get there.

Issy

It's beginning to seem like I've made alliances with a bunch of fucking idiots here Aren wants to flip, Emmott wants to flip, nobody seems fucking concerned that Khiana is only growing in strength & numbers at every passing tribal FUCK ME Aren just said he's going to flip & I fucking BET Emmott will too I think it's come time to break my alliance with them already, fuck If I flip, I'm absolutely on the bottom of a Khiana alliance, like fuck I know this game is changing and Jay is a threat but NOT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I JUST WANT ONE OF THEM GONE! ONE OF THEM! So they don't have fucking twice the numbers we do because we've been picking each other off!

Ci’ere

“Alex’s arrogance is seeping wet in a ball of moistness since he just idol’d out Roxy and he is not trying to hide it at all. I wanna see him suffer in this game and for all of his allies to get voted out because he is being handed the win on a silver platter. I will avenge Roxy and her elimination will not be in vain if I have any say in it. I’m trying to keep my mouth shut though because I know that these people don’t like problematic.”

Issy

OKay that last confessional was a bit much but I'm so fucking done with this Aren, 10:12 pm Sorry, are you angry at me? askakskksa YES yes I am fucking angry, god damn it issy, 10:15 pm no lol it's fine Fuck me, fuck this, I want Alex and Ruthie out pronto or Alex is going to win this whole bloody thing, I'm calling it now I should never have voted out Shay, I should never have voted Roxy, I fucked up and I don't know how to fix this because it's starting to feel like I've very much already lost But POSITIVITY!! Am I right? <3 <3 <3 Fuck I'm so bitter today oops

Alex

youtube

wheee videos

Ruthie

I'm feeling really good about this stick I just spent $480, I HOPE THAT IT HAS MY NAME ON IT! Also I'm hoping everyone else skips over the Mac and Cheese and I mean, I have no idea but I'm guessing everyone will be going for the covered items and the mystery stuff but hey look at that stick it looks like there might be a secret hole at the end. I just really hope that Nicole, Alex, Lena, Richie and myself get by another week. <3

Ci’ere

“I have an issue with Nicole’s comment about being lied to. I did lie to her and say that my side was planning to vote out Ruthie, but you weren’t voting with us so you shouldn’t be surprised that you were lied to. If someone tells you who they’re voting out and you idol that same person, do you really think you should be let in on the plan? Get it together gurl… This is why I don’t really see her as an ally to me anymore. I guess if anything went right last tribal council, it would be that Nicole’s idol was flushed and Alex played his which means there are less idols to worry about!”

Aren

Call me crazy. Call me wild. Call me stupid. Call me CHAOTIC AS ALL FUCK!!! But my name is Aren, and I'm here to flip this game on it's fat ass and create chaos and make huge fucking moves. That is why Jay is hopefully going to be going home at this next tribal-council. :) IssyFuck me, this game is falling to pieces Touchy subjects! My all time favourite challenge! (not) I'm mentally preparing myself to win all of the shitty ones because I'm sure Alex, Ruthie, Lena & co are still going to be bitter It's certainly going to be interesting, always good to find out what people really think of you Ugh I still can't believe Aren actually seriously wants to flip here, he fucking brought it up again I was good to just pretend it never happened in the first place I'm being so pissy lately, like I just went off at him which is never good gameplay & I'm pretty sure Emmott hates me too 'pissy' omg that is me

Ci’ere

“These people don’t know how to play Survivor and it’s really starting to frustrate me. Everyone is either too egotistical, conniving, or artificial and it’s just so blatant. The only person I would consider normal is Ruthie and I don’t even talk to her that much lmao. Note: Start talking to the other side and make sure you’re not their target.”

Ci’ere

“I believe that Aren slipped up earlier today and he inferred that he, Emmott and Issy are a tight trio. Which is funny because that would mean they’re keeping me out the loop, hmm. Aren said that he’s worried about Jay because apparently he’s been making final 3 chats with different combinations of people and smoked everyone in Tetris which all implies that he wants Jay out. This is funny because I realized Jay has become a threat too, but it’s too soon to turn on each other because it’s 5-5 and OG Fawz needs to stick together. We can take out Jay at a later time when we have the numbers.”

Jay

Okay, lets get caught up again. Not sure what I covered in my last one so this may overlap a bit. On Hazima tribe, I made a #BigMove. Alex and Lena were assuring me that I am safe and that Issy was the target. Issy was allied with some of my original Fawz allies as well, so saving her would be better than letting the other side keep an extra number. I used my idol and the vote was a split 2 Issy - 2 Alex. Because I used my Idol, I was not eligible for drawing rocks, so only Lena would be in danger from another tie. After it was revealed, I told Lena that I am voting for Alex and if she does not as well, then her game is over. Of course, she voted Alex. I felt bad really, he's a nice guy. But luckily for Alex, he had a godamn Phoenix idol that brought him right back into the game. A bit anticlimactic, but at least I nullified his Phoenix Idol and prevented him from bringing back another number on their side. The tribes merge and Alex comes back, shit. After the merge, I started an alliance with most of the original Fawz members, Me, Aren, Ci'ere, Kat, Roxy $ Issy, only Emmott had to be excluded, because of Roxy's mistrust of him. I still thought he could be a good ally, so I kept him close, but outside the alliance. Meanwhile: I'm still a part of the mostly-Khiana alliance 'Unnamed Icons', which I only joined to gather more intel and keep my people safe. Members: Nicole, Richie, Lena & Me. First immunity challenge is Tetris! YEESSS! THIS IS MY GAME! I love Tetris with a passion and I still have my original Gameboy Cartridge for it. I played for a couple hours and got what I hoped would be a respectable score. But apparently everyone else sucks at Tetris because I scored nearly double what 2nd place submitted. Looking at the numbers, the OG Fawz alliance should have this vote easily, and we decided to target Alex, but to tell everyone that we are targeting Ruthie instead. (To draw out any possible Idols and maybe split the vote further) This plan worked well, too well. Two idols were played, one on Ruthie and one on Alex. Well shit. The votes came out 5-7, so everyone I told to vote Alex followed through, but the rest flipped on me, I guess my connection to the Unnamed Icons has been severed. Because of the double Idol play, we lost Roxy. Sad to see her go, but I still had Emmott waiting in the wings. Nobody objected so I added him to the group. I'm sure he's not happy about being the last added, but I hope he'll realize that it was only because of Roxy. (I honestly did want him in to begin with) Surprisingly, Richie and I had a conversation, apparently he feels very much on the outs with his original Khiana people. (It seems like Alex, Lena, Ruthie & Nicole are all very tight) I told him that I didn't intend to betray him, I was just doing what I had to do to stay alive in the game and that I had ties to Fawz people from the beginning, so I was honoring my promises to them. He said he respects that and that he still wants to work with me. Awesome! If Richie was being honest, then that means we can easily control the votes and boot the remaining Khiana people, one by one. I told him that I would let him know how we are voting when the time comes, and that if he votes our way then I'll do what I can to bring him in to the alliance. Auction time! My plan was to bid decently high on two items that I want a lot, and then a lot of little bids in the hopes that I get something nobody else put any cash on. This worked out well, as I expected several people bid everything on one item and there were a few instances of more than one person bidding a large amount on the same item. I managed to score 3 great items! 1 Vote Nullifier 1 Extra Vote & 2 Idol Clues. These will definitely be handy later on...

Ruthie

So I'm waiting for the results COMPLETELY on edge because knowing Jay his lucky ass has also won individual immunity along with all his other goodies that he got at the auction. If somehow Jay doesn't win I hope Alex does because I have a better chance at staying than he does, either way I'm terrified about the result and I hope Alex, Richie, Lena and myself figure out a way to pull out another win and keep the four of us solid. I'm SO sad that Nicole exiled herself but I totally get why she did it, I just hate the entire situation, PLEASE Survivor Gods let one of us win individual immunity. <3

Ci’ere

“I have not gotten anything from a freaking reward and I’m jmhnbv mnjhnbgv”

Lena

LMAO my drunk as shit answers, I don't remember any of that. anyway im playing pokemon moon so this game is cancelled for the next 36 hours while i die playing this game

Ci’ere

“Who would you trust with your life?

None of these snitches.”

Aren

Me @ the people that gave me really nawsty answers in Touchy Subjects: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. But fo' reals THESE FUCKERS don't know what the fUCK they're talking about because BOY am I giving them a fucking aSS SPANKING in this game rn like they need to beg their momma to save em at this point ArenSo, I might be sick as all fuck, but this does NOT mean that I've stopped playing the game. Hehehehe, I have a sneaky-sneaky plan! So, I still want Jay out, and I'm gonna make SURE he goes. Therefor... *rubs hands together* I'm gonna fabricate some friendly ole' conversations! FAKE CONVERSATION #1 - GOAL: MAKE ISSY VOTE FOR JAY. So, when Emmott and I have spoken enough, I'm gonna copy + paste our conversation to Issy but I'm gonna change our sentences to make it look like Emmott's now gunning for Jay. Issy, as she trusts me so damn much, is gonna believe me and is gonna get super paranoid and probably vote for Jay! That's already a 6-4 vote! But lets make this bad boy 7-3... FAKE CONVERSATION #2 - GOAL: MAKE EMMOTT ALSO VOTE FOR JAY. When Jay finally gets back to me and we get the opportunity to chat, I'm gonna also copy + paste our conversation to Emmott to make Emmott thing that Jay's gunning for him. Since Emmott's so fucking paranoid, he's gonna listen and want to vote Jay out with me. Splendid! Fucking splendid! A 7-3 blindside on Jay, MMM.

Ci’ere

“The Touchy Subject results are revealed and it turns out that I was only answered twice out of 140 possible times. I’m not sure if I’m playing a strong under the radar game or if I’m just irrelevant, but it means that I’m not on anyone’s radar lmao. I wasn’t even answered for any of the negative ones either, I’m here for this yas chile~”

Aren

[13:00:56] Jay: Yo [13:01:01] Aren: Sup man! [13:01:11] Jay: Hey, what's up? [13:01:19] Aren: Not much!! Just chilling, playing Counter-Strike haha. You? [13:01:24] Jay: I'm just relaxing, just finished eating takeaway and watching a movie with my wife. I've played that game too a few times it's pretty good [13:01:27] Aren: Yeah man lol definitely [13:02:04] Jay: So, this is what I wanted to message you about. I havent asked anyone about this yet so I just want to consult you before I try to actually make a big flip. I know that we're planning to gun for Lena, but I honestly want to flip the vote to Emott. I understand that you might be against this but he's a complete middle man and I feel like he could be playing both sides which is super dangerous. I just wanted to get your input honestly [13:02:12] Aren: Wowah [13:02:29] Aren: I dunno honestly, I think it might be a better idea just to stick with our original plan for now?? [13:02:37] Jay: I'd honestly just rather get Emmott out but I understand. [13:03:02] Aren: I mean I dunno dude I'm pretty sure he's with us [13:03:17] Jay: Alright, well, perhaps we could take Lena out now and do Emmott later?? I just don't want to let him make it further than, like, the final eight honestly. He's a very dangerous player. [13:03:26] Aren: Alright man, I understand. I'll think about it, okay? [13:03:17] Jay: (y) ... And this fake conversation built upon Aren's anvil of prickiness is going straight into Emmott's inbox! Oops! Time to switch this vote the fuck up and send Jay the fuck home!!!

Ci’ere

“Kat, whom I forgot was still in the game, was medevac’d and no offense but I knew she would just be a waste of a spot for someone that would have actually played the game. It really sucks because she seems cool and she was a number for my side s m h.”

Richie

this game is a mess!!!!!!! i've been talking to everyone on the fawz tribe like im a fucking IDIOT lmao i'm literally acting like i'm the most pathetic baby deer clueless to whats going on just looking for someone to trust bc im so alone and i just want to be given a chance to play this game :( :( :( :( and its working out for me now because i have the family alliance with alex/lena/ruthie but the fawz people see them a threesome and i keep playing it up that i'm on the outside of that group and i'm going to all the fawz ppl just putting my fragile little heart in their hands hoping for some sort of strain of trust and hope <3 in the long run this could be harmful because people might see me doing this and think that i was actually a useless floater but like i'm getting tea from everyone i'm just taking notes and making connections... also i have alex ruthie and lena who are going to get taken out before me like if i start trying to make BIG MOVES right now then my name gets moved to the top of that list so its just not smart for me to put myself out there yknooooooowwww?! but whatevz i can deal with all that later for now this vote is looking to be another "fun" one... jay told me to vote ruthie, aren told me that jay is lying to me and that he wants me to vote for ruthie while the rest of them vote lena so its a 5-3-1 with me as the 1, aren wants to blinside jay which IM ALL FOR THAT MF CAN GOOOOOO but he won three (3) things in the auction which fucking terrrrrrrifies me so im hesitant to try and blindside him right now but i'm not in a position where i can take the reins on this vote bc if i start causing chaos the original fawz alliance can decide to come together and vote me out 5-4 so for this vote i need to try my best to suppress my need to be in control at all times, shut up, go with this plan, and hope for the best because if it works GREAT jay's gone and if it doesn't then lena or ruthie go WHICH SUCKS but im still in the game and the khiana numbers wouldnt be intimidating to the fawz people anymore so they would be more likely to want to make a move next week..... UGHHHHHHH I JUST WANT TO BE IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING I HATE THAT IM IN THIS POSITION WHERE I HAVE TO SHUT UP AND PRETEND IM WEAK AND STUPID I JUST WANT TO BE CHAOTIC EVILLLLLLLL :( :( :(

Alex

I WON IMMUNITY, SUCKERS, TAKE THAT I KNEW THAT MACARONI AND CHEESE WOULD PAY OFF! So this round has just been....a rollercoaster of emotions. First, at the auction, Jay wins a whole bunch of shit, and Nicole pops off to Exile. First of all, fuck you Nicole, we NEEDED you this round. But second of all, that puts us down 6-4, and that blows. Now my brilliant “lie to everybody” plan doesn't work and we're p. fucked. But then, Immunity comes around, and not only do I win (again: heck yes!) but Kat is bounced out of the game. Presumably, she was DEVASTATED by the loss of her only ally, Julia, that she got sick and died. So now, lucky us, the numbers are back on our side! Except of course they're not, because, as we must remember, Aren and Emmott are liars, proven liars. Fuck them so hard. Anyway. Theoretically, we have Aren's vote against Jay (which we do not), and equally theoretically, Aren's fake chatlog of Jay wanting to take Emmott out has convinced Emmott to vote for Jay as well (it did not). And all this has theoretically made Issy realize that it's a done deal, and she's gonna vote Jay too (she will not). So, in theory, we have the votes to take out Jay, or to do my initial plan of removing Ci'ere while telling everyone to vote Jay (we do not, and we will not). But the thing is that on top of all these liars supposedly telling us the truth (they are not), I've checked, and there's no way that the chatlogs Aren's sent me were anything but fake. The timestamps don't come out like that in a real chatlog unless he's running Linux or something. So, in short, we're pretty fucked this tribal. Do I need to tell the rest of the group this? No, of course not. They don't need to know how hopeless it is, and considering I have Immunity and thus am not on the chopping block, I'm tryna shut up and let them decide what plan they wanna run. But anyway, we're fucked this tribal, what fun.

Ci’ere

“I mention that Ruthie was voted ‘Most Trustworthy & Most Heroic’ so she’s a threat and maybe we should target her. Everyone in my alliance immediately shoots down that idea and they’re seriously against it. They would rather go after Lena who was voted ‘Most Needs a Wake Up Call & Never Talk to Again’ like...WHAT?? Ruthie has made solid bonds and my own alliance proved that themselves. At this point, alliances are probably shifting and things are actually starting to get kind of blurred.”

Ruthie

So, tribal is in an hour and I'm not as nervous

as I was last week and I'm coming to the terms that I'm going to be the one going home. I'm so glad to have made it to jury, and I really hope that Alex, Lena and Richie work with Nicole next time and that they send one of the others to jury next! Emmott and Aren are such snakes for doing what they are going to do, and I don't trust them AT ALL. I would rather them go than Jay go at this point, everything is such a mess and I wonder who is telling the truth and who isn't and being on the bottom sure does suck. If I am the one that goes I am excited about my speech, mayyyyybe that willl cause a bit of chaos and it'll get the others someone new to work with.

Alex

I have NO IDEA what is about to happen here I think the craziest thing that could happen would be for our plan to go off without a hitch, really.

#survivornightmare #masstag #confessionals

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