#i got my watermelon seed on my face and it's time to fucking party

[comradekatara]

not to be an obnoxious cottagecore lesbian but i think mai and ty lee should get a little house on kyoshi island together (also some extra funky little lighting variations bc i couldn't make up my mind)

#id in alt text #avatar the last airbender #atla #mailee #mai #ty lee #maixtylee #art #mart #oldergaang #or maybe #postwargaang #you know what. ill tag both #it's the future they deserve #i dont even have pinterest but i love scrolling it for like. cute dykey pose and outfit refs #that i can then draw characters wearing and doing #it's one of my top 5 methods of mindless procrastination #if you recognize the original image you'll know that i stuck to all the details really closely. simply because it is already a perfect imag #i got my watermelon seed on my face and it's time to fucking party

[hargrove-mayfields]

Everyone likes to pretend Billy was never even there. Life goes on, people change, the past gets forgotten.

A year isn’t enough time for Max though. Right now it feels like the rest of her life wouldn’t be enough time, but Neil and Susan, they were doing just fine.

It’s almost like they like not having him around, that extra burden they couldn’t shake. The plan only Max knew was that Billy was going to stay at home until she was old enough to go with him so she’d be safe.

She knew he was fed up and looking at some local apartments within walking distance of Cherry Lane anyways, but then July happened, and Billy died.

Now it’s July again, and her hair is in twin braids of red with pure white ribbons on the end, and her and her mother are wearing matching blouses. There’s bruises under the bangle on her mothers wrist and one under Max’s own sleeve, and she just wants her brother back.

It’s a holiday they told her, her father (he’s not her fucking father, they never made her call him that when Billy was around) is a veteran, they have to celebrate. Better just dry her eyes and get over it.

Her mother invites all the family they have in the area over to their house for a little get together picnic, and they do their little happy family routine for a while, but Max can only handle so much of it.

Billy should be here by her side, flicking watermelon seeds at her face and putting ice cubes from the cooler down the back of her shirt, being an asshole to distract her from the reality of her family.

And that was that she didn’t really have one, a family. It was always just her and Billy.

Even at these events made for bonding with family, they were off to the side, messing around while the adults talked like they weren’t even there, and she knew she was a little naive then, but it stung more than ever, knowing that even after she’d lost her brother, nobody even stopped to say hi or check up on her, it was just straight into gossiping about the neighbors and those disrespectful bastards across the street who weren’t flying a flag for the holiday and family members who couldn’t be there.

But Max never heard Billy’s name come up even once, and not even in a respect to the dead boy and his grieving sister type of way, but rather, in the way that they just didn’t want to acknowledge his existence. None of these people had come to his graduation in May of last year, or his funeral two months later.

Billy was a taboo that the Hargrove-Mayfields didn’t dare taint their celebrations of freedom and justice with. The irony made Max sick to her stomach.

Or that was at least, until Neil couldn’t help himself.

His words are slurring already, with an excuse to party he’s on what Max would guess to be his fifth or sixth beer that afternoon, and someone just made the mistake of mentioning their own son, Billy and Max’s third cousin or something, and it spurs Neil off on a tangent about his.

“That boy was always good for nothing anyways. It’s almost the same now that he’s dead, ‘Cept maybe now I get some more quiet around the house.”

Nobody knows what to do when he says that, there’s a couple awkward laughs and one shocked gasp, that one was probably from her mother, but Max knows exactly what she wants to do.

What she wants is to watch Neil choking on his blood instead of her brother, his body being lowered into the ground instead of Billy’s, and in the moment she feels like she could be the one to make that a reality, but instead she just stands abruptly, a plate of the food her mother worked so hard to prepare for them she’d been too queasy to eat falling off her knees to the grass, and she says everything she’d bottled up for the past year.

“Don’t talk about Billy that way!

“Now, Maxine-“ Neil starts, but Max is livid, can’t hold back all the things she wished she had said before Billy died, when she got grounded after the funeral, when Neil started beating her, “No! I’m not going to let you do to me what you did to my brother! You don’t get to control me like you did him, it’s your fault that he’s dead!”

It’s her mother’s turn to try to stop her, slender hand covering her mouth painted red, “Maxine..”

“Stop trying to reason with me! I’m sick of pretending to be a family when I had to watch my own brother die! And I’m sick of being treated like I’m crazy for being the only one that cares about Billy!”

More than one person chimes in on that one, offended by the notion they don’t care about family, though it’s Neil that insists, in that faux calm, close to snapping voice of his, “We do care, Maxine. We’re all grieving in our own ways.”

She fires back, “Grieving what? The loss of your punching bag? You hated Billy! You don’t care that he’s dead, all that matters to you is having someone to hurt, and you no trouble adjusting to beating up on your wife and step-daughter instead!”

She catches a backhand to the face for that, and all the background chatter comes to a halt, Neil gritting out through his teeth, “Inside. Now.”

There are tears in her eyes that sting almost as much as the knuckle marks on her cheek, but Max feels like she won, getting her step dad all riled up in front of their family, she feels almost invincible, and she sneers all smug like and bitter, “I can’t go inside yet. I’m celebrating your service to our country, dad. You know, as a family.”

But when Neil's face turns as red as the blood that dripped from his wife’s nose the night before and he stands from his chair and drags her inside by the wrist himself, she realizes that it wasn’t exactly a win.

And when her brain goes numb trying to focus on both the repeated slaps and punches that explode like firecrackers across her skin and the way Neil is yelling and lecturing her until his voice is raw, giving her the same lessons her brother had burned into the back of his mind, she feels like she’s lost everything instead.

When she has to choke back her tears and apologize for embarrassing Neil and for making him hit her as punishment, she realizes, this isn’t a game that can be won or lost at all.

Max isn’t allowed to go back outside to the party. That rule goes unspoken, but words aren't necessary with the way Neil storms off without another word, slamming the back door behind himself. She’s slowly starting to figure out what the things her step father does instead of says mean.

She misses being allowed to be clueless, having someone to protect her or take what punishment she had earned. She wishes she wouldn’t have asked so much of Billy though.

Her own room isn’t safe anymore, what once had been the place she’d be ushered off to when Neil got bad had become more like a trap, the place Neil went to first when he was angry. Everything that had been hers felt wrong, so she goes to Billy’s room and doesn’t come out for the rest of the night. Even now that he’s gone, he still kept her safe.

There’s a welt on her face and fresh bruises forming everywhere, hot tears wetting her sunburnt cheeks and the pillows that smell like Billy, or at least used to before Susan decided his room needed cleaned and washed away every trace of her brother.

All night long there are fireworks going off, a big show put on by the city downtown has her shaking, unable to close her eyes for fear those distant explosions would take her back to the mall, bring back memories she’d never forget, and covering her ear with her hands.

The cracks and booms that shake her windows and her entire life, a headache and a heart break even stronger.

She tries her hardest not to think about Starcourt though, so instead she thinks about how Billy would’ve been proud of her for standing up to Neil. He would’ve called her an idiot, but he would’ve cleaned up her scrapes and held her through the panic attack after, and he probably would’ve liked to see the person Max was becoming too.

That makes Max’s heart hurt, the fact that he won’t get to. She cries harder, and she feels so alone without Billy.

Some part of her knows that she isn’t though. She isn’t the only one that lost somebody last July.

Hawkins’ cemetery was alive with flowers and wreaths and decoration, and more than anything the grieving. All of the victims had families, or in the case of the Holloway’s where their whole family was killed, they had friends and neighbors in the tight knit community who remembered them. El was still grieving Hopper, and Max knew Billy had people like that too.

Billy was popular, his death had a huge impact on the younger population of the town, but not only that, he had his closest friends, Steve and Tommy and Carol and Nicole and Adam from the pool, and of course Heather couldn’t be there, but those people were all keeping her brother alive.

As much as it felt like everyone was trying to forget him, they weren’t, and that brought Max a little bit of hope.

Hope that Billy would be remembered for the things he did right, and who he was behind the boy he had to be to keep them safe.

Hope that with his memory kept in the hearts of so many, the burden of grief wouldn’t fall solely on Max forever and make things a little easier.

Hope that the wound would someday heal, and she could look back on the time she did have with Billy, those seven too short years, with a smile on her face.

For now, she wraps herself in Billy’s jacket and comforter, listening to his music to drown out the distant fireworks, and dreams of the day when things won’t be like this, when she can leave Hawkins and all it’s bad memories and the “family” holding her back to live a life her brother would be proud of, a life that would honor his.

Max decides then with determination, flinching when a bright flash lights up her window, a loud echo through the quaint neighborhood, that she was going to do what Billy hadn’t been able to and break the cycle.

Tomorrow, she’d tell the school counselor she’d been assigned when her depression was at its worst all about Neil Hargrove.

#billy & max #max mayfield #neil hargrove #billy hargrove #ej writer #story by ej! #tw child abuse #also on my ao3! #is this me projecting? pfft no way

[oftenderweapons]

Can you write a drabble about jealous taehyung with lace? Ty 🥺

So... I had to brainstorm with my dear mate abt this one since we never really saw Taehyung as someone who could be openly jealous or would even consider the feeling, since we see him as a confident person, and even more than that, we think that he and Lace are very open about trust and loyalty. We think that both of them would be happy with introducing a third party in the bedroom — not on a regular basis though. Lace is a sucker for Taehyung — and Taehyung alone; he knows it, and he also knows that he has a beautiful girlfriend who is bound to attract people’s attention and make them believe that they can flirt with her. Still, Lace gives the cold shoulder to anyone but her man.

HOWEVER

We found out a potential loophole.

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader (nicknamed Lace)

Wordcount: 1.5k (sorry, I got carried away)

Genre: angst/smut/fluff

Rating: 18+

TRIGGER WARNINGS: uhm, there are dirty thoughts in the middle (mild) and smut at the end (mention of oral male receiving, female receiving, rough penetration, biting). Possessive!Tae. Takes place a few weeks after Love Talk and mentions a few events in Illicit Affairs (which should — hopefully — come out soon).

As you walked down the long corridor of the small gallery, Taehyung tried not to notice — or better, not to care about — the young artist waiting by the door, walking several steps behind you.

Taehyung’s hand twitched before he shoved it in his pocket. He wanted to touch you.

Having that... that vulture staring at you... It made his stomach sour.

Maybe it was because this was your first date after having you all to himself, after knowing how you taste and how you moan, how your breasts flush when you’re about to cum, how good it feels to grip your hips while you ride him, to feel his fingers sink in the flesh of your ass.

He took his hands out of his pockets and joined them behind his back, cracking his knuckles and rolling his shoulders in an attempt to calm down.

You stopped in front of a picture, observing it for a moment. It was a hyper-realistic painting of a watermelon sculpted into a cube, placed there in the middle of the white canvas. It was truly the game of a virtuoso.

“Impressive.” You said, before turning toward the man about a metre or two away. “How long did it take?” You asked nicely, still impressed by the amount of details: the seeds, the small veins, the grainy texture of the watermelon.

“About three months.” He replied. “I had started it as a still life, but I changed my mind and redid it with a more... Surrealistic approach.” He explained.

Taehyung raised an eyebrow, trying to keep his annoyance at bait, licking his lip before biting it. “Good job.” He said, trying to be grateful even though he wanted to rip the man’s eyes away from his skull.

The only thing holding him back was that he didn’t know how you would react to that. And if you would ever love his fingers as much after seeing him perform such a crude act.

You smiled at the artist and took a few steps to the next painting, this time a basket of cherries — only barely visible from behind a lace curtain. It was alarmingly realistic, truly breathtaking in the amount of precision poured into every small thread making the see-through effect. “Wow.” You commented under your breath.

Taehyung thought about how different his style was from these pictures. Sure, they were very good and they showed great talent, but that didn’t mean that he would want one in his own house.

“I was in Greece when I made that one.” The artist explained. “Beautiful country. Have you ever been there?” He asked.

You turned, making your light summer gown twirl in the motion, exposing more of your calves and the soft skin of the inner side of the knee as the slit parted, the plump, soft flesh of your thigh still protected by the row of small buttons that ran from your belly button to your knees.

Taehyung thought you were too beautiful for this universe. Nevertheless, as he stared at you and the artist there, right in front of his face, he felt actually menaced, for the first time. Something ugly slithered around his chest, tightening and tightening as your calm, composed voice said: “No, I’ve never been to Greece. I’ve only ever visited Jeju once, and I’ve travelled to Japan a couple times but normally I don’t get the chance to travel much.” You explained, blushing.

He would take you all around the world, Taehyung thought. He would spend Christmas with you in the Alps and make love to you in Amsterdam for your birthday, and of course, he would take you to Greece, feed you grapes and cherries and damn watermelon too. He would have you in white, light clothes and take pictures of you standing by the sea, your bright, flowy skirts contrasting with the deep blue of the sea — like the one he saw in Malta. He would rent a small house away from anyone and watch you sunbathe naked, with no one interrupting him as he drew you again, and again and again, until his hand could draw you with his eyes closed. He would leave the windows always open, the long white curtains flowing in the breeze as he would wake up from his afternoon nap and wrap his naked body around yours, kissing you and rubbing against you until you were nothing but two bodies melting into each other, like an embrace could naturally slide into passionate lovemaking. He couldn’t even think about nights. Nights were something he was too weak to think about.

Lost in his musings, he didn’t even realise your visit had come to an end, the gallery empty just like it had been when you had arrived, booked for a private visit for Taehyung and you alone, for safety and viewing pleasure.

“Thank you for visiting,” the artist said, bowing to Taehyung.

“Thank you for guiding us,” Taehyung replied. “I’ll let you know if I find any of the pictures fit.”

“Of course.” The artist said, kindly.

Taehyung nodded and was ready to leave the moment he heard the artist speak again. “Excuse me, miss, I’d like to ask... I’ve been working on portraits for my new collection, and I would be extremely pleased if you would pose for me.” He said. “I don’t usually... I usually book professional models but I thought someone with your looks could be really interesting to portray.” He explained. “I can leave you... Uhm.” He rummaged in his pocket and offered you a small piece of paper. His business card. Stealing a pen from the entry table, he wrote something on it. “I’d be honoured.” He commented, offering you the card.

You raised your eyebrows and smiled. “Thank you. I can already tell you I don’t think I’ll accept.” You looked at the floor. “I don’t have much spare time and I’m a bit too uncomfortable when people stare at me.” You chuckled embarrassedly. “Plus, I don’t think my boyfriend would be very happy with it.” You said, giving him a hint.

Taehyung was furious, still he kept all his inner turmoil to himself. Until you reached the car. The moment you sat at his side on the passenger’s seat, he started the car and began driving silently.

“Are you upset?” You asked, looking at him, keeping all the enthusiasm about the exhibition to yourself. You were more than capable to divide the artist from the person behind it. He was talented, maybe a bit sleazy as a person — and a bit too flirty — but still, talented. Plus, Taehyung hadn’t made it clear that he was with you as your boyfriend.

Taehyung tutted. “No.” He replied.

“Did he make you uncomfortable?” You could feel his mood poison the air in the car like dark waves of black oil covering the surface of the sea. It reminded you of a scene from Howl’s Moving Castle, when the young, beautiful wizard gets depressed and all his house starts getting covered in green slime.

“I’m okay.”

Catching his free hand, you placed it on your thigh pulling it toward the inner side.

He couldn’t resist, his thumb immediately drawing slow, lazy circles on the smooth, tender skin.

You noticed him taking the route to his apartment. “Aren’t we going out for dinner?”

“Mh.” He noted, counting the minutes until he could claim you all to himself.

“Do I need to un-book?” You asked with a mischievous grin.

He looked at you, his mouth forming a slow, insecure smile before he nodded in reply.

The rest of the night is a fuzzy memory of his mouth hungry and his hands grabby on the lift on your way up to his apartment, the shape of him hard in your palm as you entered the door, your attempt at offering him a blowjob, already lowering yourself to one knee before he pulled you up.

“That’s generous of you but I need inside.” He growled as he walked the both of you to his bedroom.

You didn’t even remember anything of him undressing you, it was all a whirlwind of limbs until you found yourself with your legs spread open and his mouth on your clit, his fingers stretching you before he stood on his knees and grabbed a condom.

You remembered his groan as he slid inside, your walls welcoming him with their tight embrace. “Dammit Lace, love this pussy.” He spoke through gritted teeth, your hands landing on his butt and pulling him toward you, inside you, harder, faster. “That’s my pussy.” He said, ramming in. “All mine.” He said, slowing down only to get the right angle. “My girlfriend.” He said, biting your breast, and giving the most precise jabs to your g-spot, suckling your tit, tugging at it, stretching it with his mouth before letting it fall back heavy to your chest. “My nymph. All mine. Mine.” He said again, your body too tense for speaking. Your high reached you as his fingers started toying with your bundle of nerves, rubbing it furiously until both you and him were nothing but two desperate beasts fucking each other.

“I love you.” He said, as soon as he was back to planet Earth, his body heavy on top of yours, his cheek glued to your chest with a mix of drool and sweat. “Love you, my precious dove.” He said again, rubbing the outside of your leg. “My love.” He repeated as you patted his head and reassured him yourself.

“Only yours.”

#kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung smut #taehyung drabble #taehyung imagine #taehyung x yn

[spiltscribbles]

Any chance you could give us some Arabic speaking Remus headcanons? Loved your latest fic ❤️ 📚

OMFG gorgeous sugarplum! I legit only just was reminded of this while scrolling through my inbox right now! But my heart is finna burst!!! Thank you SO SO much and yes I would love to give some Headcanons about this! Especially since the next long story I’m working on includes this dynamic, and I’m so excited about it!! However, common disclaimer that while I am Arab and culturally Muslim even if I don’t practice like the rest of my family lol, I am Palestinian and not Syrian. So with every identity there are different experiences and customs no matter how closely intertwined. So I apologize for any inconsistency   that a Syrian may read and disagree with, and please feel free to correct me<3 <3

.-

The FIC this HC is from 

.-

So first off some background on his mum in the story 

I chose the name Vivian based off a friend of a friend who’s uncle married a woman by that name back in Palestine,  so it’s definitely extremely uncommon, but a fully Arab lady was named it, so like it’s my defense bahaha. But it also means lively, and coupled with Hussein as her maiden name which means beautiful, it just fit her personality to a t!! 

She was born into a pretty secular family in Syria in the late 1920s, so there was a lot going on in that time period. But her dad was pretty influential, working in the government and such. Vivian was also the youngest of four girls and three boys so she was pretty spoiled tbh

She attended a boarding school in France through out her adolescence and decided to go to university there too, so she’s fluent in both Arabic and French, with pretty great English as well. Though she wasn’t exactly white passing, even though like a bunch of Syrians/Palestinians/Lebanese folk she was somewhat fair, she had distinctly Arabian features, like the large almond shaped eyes and thick lashes and thicker brows, and a long, largeish nose, accented by full lips. So she experienced a good amount of jeers and discrimination, especially when folks found out her surname. So I think she’s able to relate to Remus in that sense of being a wolf at least, and later on  when he comes out as gay.

It was 1950  when she and a few of her girlfriends went to Wales for holiday after completing university. The second Lyall first spotted her in the woods while she was trying to make it back to the cabin near the Irish Sea with her mates, it was something like love, because duh. She was a fucking knock out!! A babe and a baddy! Literally so far out of his league its ridiculous! But on Vivian’s side,  she was mostly just amused and a bit enamored by this cocksure Welshman who had the most endearing of crooked smiles that their son would inherit a decade later. So obviously she didn’t make it easy on him, but eventually she let him take her out on the last night of her trip, and was pleased to find out that they had the same sort of humor and the same passion for their careers and even the same love for the outdoors too.

 They had a long distance relationship for two years while she went to grad school so she could teach about classics while Lyall himself was rising the ranks in the Ministry for regulation and control of magical creatures— Unbeknownst to her, the Floo network  was very helpful with the distance. Just thank God Lyall himself is a Muggle born because he really had to fake the hell out of it lol.

So just to speed things up they got married on a lovely June evening in  1955,  subsequent to  Vivian excepting a professorial job in Cardiff after Lyall told her about the Wizarding world. At first Vivian thought e was tripping on some subpar edibles until he proved it by transfiguring her snuff box into a lovely broach that she kept for the rest of her life, So after Vivian was convinced, she became  absolutely enthralled by all of the magic so completely. 

They were trying for a few years when she finally became pregnant with Remus in 1959, and they were both so over the moon (pun unintended).

So like I said above, Vivian’s family are pretty secular, so I see her mostly practicing the cultural aspects of Islam. For example, every Friday— which is the equivalent to Sundays being the holy day  for Christians— she lights up the instance that she always keeps herself stocked up on after her annual trip to Syria, instead of the typical candles she ordinarily prefers.  And Remus swears that for the rest of his life whenever he smells it, he’s back to being a baby, puttering around the house and watching her dusting the shelves while humming quietly an Arabic song that’ played out the gramophone  by a man who’s music would soon become regarded as the song of the people. Or Remus would recall being snuggled into her lap while she read him a novel on the windowsill. Or he’d simply remember listening to his parents laughter fluttering in the air while he fell asleep by the fire, subconsciously making the flower buds closest to him bloom with his untapped magic.

Remus’s first clear memory— thanks to the endless pictures— is when he was around four years old, before the attack, and they were staying in Vivian’s home town in Damascus. While the men congregated out doors for cigars and cards and the women in the living room chatting while snacking on watermelon seeds, his older cousins— who were all girls— dragged him off to one of the bedrooms and doted on him because he was the baby of that side of the family. And he remembers walking out in a set of one of their heels and a headscarf wrapped around his head which made his Mama and Tata and Aumties laugh out loud and croon over him, and all his uncles and Sido call him Aumty Remus.

The attack by Greyback happened soon after they returned to Wales, and I’m not gonna touch on it becs I’ not finna depress myself. But it was a January morning after his first transformation and he remembers that when he woke up, he saw the cookies stuffed with dates resting on his bedside with a glass of milk that Lyall had put a cooling charm on. And they’re indulgent treats that Vivian makes for both Eids every year even though they don’t celebrate them in any other way lol. But the cookies always reminds him of family and of feeling safe in his mother’s arms, and they still work to make him feel better even after the worst thing he has ever experienced in his short life.

Remus’s love of poetry came from both sides of his parents, but it was listening to his mother recite the story of Majnun Layla in it’s original Arabic that really made him glow for the art form, and brought him to discovering his favorites like Auden and Neruda. 

There’s a ornate, wooden prayer box that has been past down on the Hussein side of the family for five generations, it was originally  meant to hold a Qran but for the past three it’s simply just been a beautiful piece of decoration. So when Vivian gave it to Remus when he was headed off to Hogwarts, little Remus asked McGonagall to help him with locking  charms so it could become a safe place for him to keep his most cherished of nicknacks ant momentos, so obviously,  she silently added a charm to keep the wood nearly unbreakable and the extension charm atop of that, like Hermione with her bag, so that he could keep as many happy memories as possible inside of it, and she prayed that there would be so many that it threatened to burst. 

The last time Remus opened the box was in 1996, when he was putting away the ring Sirius gifted him as a match to his own in some feeble promise of forever only weeks before James and Lily’s own engagement. 

Once during first year, he and the lads were staying up late, trading stories about how they got their most ridiculous scars— after seeing the one that scraped across Remus’s left shoulder blade— But it got to a point where they were all feeling a bit nippish, so they went down to the kitchens for some of the chocolate pudding that was served during dinner that night. And Remus idly asked the house elves if they could make him a batch of Kinafa because he was getting home sick and missed when he and his Mama would dash over to the city whenever they were feeling antsy, and she’d take him to their favorite hooka bar after buying a round of the dessert— which is basically sweetbread stuffed with cheese— from down the block. And they’d stay sitting beneath the starlight, and talking about her job and his lessons from school while she’d let him try a discrete puff or two and they’d laugh about everything and nothing at all.

The next time they stopped by the kitchens one of the younger house elves presented him with the snack gleefully, and it tasted fine, just not like how they do back home. So Remus smiled warmly at Tipsy, the house elf, and thanked her with real sincerity.

But his face must’ve betrayed him because after easter break, Sirius plops down a fresh batch of them on Remus’s bed before leaping into his own, casually mentioning that he saw how grossed out Remus looked when trying the one the house elves made, and it was from a restaurant close to Grimmauld so it’s not that big of a deal, and then he rushed to cursing at James for stealing his favorite pen and swearing that  if he broke it he’s gonna have hell to pay. Remus had only blushed and chuckled  with a small smile on his face when he cut himself a small piece and finished the half sheet off with the rest of their house later that night during an impromptu party that the Marauders would become infamous for in later years.

It was the summer after second year when all the marauders visited Remus back home in Wales and when they heard Vivian call him Qamar practically every other sentence, which of course lead to endless ribbing and eventually  to his nickname of Moony— even though it’s so fucking obvious and Remus loves and hates it in equal parts. God his friends are so fucking stress inducing!

Remus teaches the other marauders funny Arabic curse words and they use them in class so that they can talk shit about particularly disgusting Slytherins without them being any of the wiser. (Yes I did do this with my friends, and I’d do it again! POW! POW! POW!)

It’s from Vivian that Remus has an affinity for coffee as strong as shit, but also prefers his tea weak— specifically two sugars and a dash of milk. But seriously, if you’ve ever tried Arabian coffee you’d understand, that shit is so fucking strong it’s literally a hate crime LMFAO. But yeah, this habit is definitely a point of contention between him and Sirius— who’s actually so fucking posh no matter how much he wants to be punk, and he stands by only drinking black tea— like Merlin intended— and saying bugger off to any and all coffees. “Leave that shite to the French and Americans.” And Remus would try to keep himself from making eyes at him from across the table, because God Sirius is hot when he’s all fiery  and impassioned, even when it’s about the dumbest, most inconsequential shit.

Something that’s sort of funny is that Remus was the first among them to become a fucking pot head and could drink them all  under the table even though Sirius himself has got two stone and three inches on him. But Remus still refuses to eat ham, purely because he never grew up eating it and doesn’t care too now. Sirius had to specifically ask Euphemia and Monty to make turkey for Christmas dinner their sixth year just because he knew that Remus’s head would probably implode with the decision between being rude and not eating it or forcing himself to gag down the unfamiliar meat.

When Remus is really, really fucking drunk he definitely spends the night only speaking in Arabic! (Don’t look at me I’m trash just because I stole this from my own life lmfao) But yeah, it’s really fucking hilarious and Sirius swears to God he’s so fucking in love with him while listening to Remus ranting in the unfamiliar language. And he’s like positive that half the time he’s actually just cursing Sirius out but he doesn’t even care because it’s SO! DAMN! CUTE!  And sometimes Sirius decides to speak French at a drunk off his arse Moony, who occasionally replies back in a stiff staccato before returning back to the easy Arabic. And it’s just a mess.

Ok so sadness warning

In my head, Vivian loses her fight against breast cancer the July after the Marauders graduate from Hogwarts, and afterwords Remus gets a tattoo of her name in Arabic on his chest, and the word for soul on the nape of his neck. He locks away that battered copy of Magnun Layla in the wooden box she gave him years ago, along with a woolen  scarf that smelt like her perfume.

 It’s Sirius who buys a set of prayer beads to hang off her photo above the mantel in the flat he and Remus share, and when Remus sees it he literally feels like  he might crack open with tears, but opts to kiss Sirius thank you instead, and they stay tangled on the sofa for the rest of the day in quiet contemplation.

One night, in late 1979, while  the war was only getting worse and worse—  Sirius was hit by a cutting curse to the ribs. And it was really fucking bad, but thankfully James got him to his house in time for Lily to help and heal. He slept for the most part for nearly an entire day, but remembers snippets. Like when Remus had sprinted into the room with fear painted all over his soft features, and when James put a cooling cloth to his head. But most distinctly, Sirius recalls Remus gingerly lying besides him and Sirius talking gibberish at his boyfriend while Remus plunged his entire face against his back, eyes wet with tears and body shuttering as he squeezed him softly, saying something quietly in Arabic. Sirius obviously didn’t understand like 99.9% of it, but he did catch the word “Habibi,” which he instantly remembers as an old pet name Vivian use to call Remus with so much love it made her entire countenance sparkle. It’s an endearment  that means beloved, or darling, and it feels like Remus is begging Sirius to stay with him and Sirius’s throat is still raw from the screaming, so he can only  reply by dragging Remus’s hand up to his mouth and kissing his knuckles tenderly. And he knows that whatever he does for the rest of his days, he loves Remus Lupin with every cell in his body.

Oof this got mad depressing…. Chow anyways, I can add a picture of the container you’re suppose to use for the instance if anyone wants that?

Thank you again dear Nonny!!!

Ask Me For Headcanons About A Story I’ve Written Or For One You Want To See Written

#WOLFSTAR #REMUS LUPIN #SIRIUS BLACK #MARAUDERS #THE HARRY POTTER SERIES #SIRIUSXREMUS #REMUSXSIRIUS #HEADCANONS #HEADCANONS BY LEN #FIC: MAMA LUPIN IS A BABE

[joiesomer]

Now or Never | Rainling

Who: Somer Rainault ( @joiesomer ) & Jeff Sterling ( @xjefferxx )

Where: an off-campus pool party; the dance studios; Schuester 107, Somer’s room

When: 10 Jul 2019

Notes/Triggers: nsfw

Somer raked his fingers back through his hair before pushing the gate open. He knew a couple of the people who were going to be here from sharing classes with them, and he wasn't sure if he ought to go hang with basically strangers, but Jeff had said 'pretty please' -- and Somer was discovering that he was very susceptible to Jeff's pleading hazel eyes. Anyway it was a pool party, and he did love to be in the water. So he walked into the enclosed patio area and waved at everybody, looking as casually as possible for Jeff.

His heart thumped when he finally caught sight of the blond, having a casual conversation and tossing his hair out of his eyes. Somer felt his mouth dry up -- Jeff was shirtless already, in just swim shorts, and the memory of the other day came back quite strongly. Jeff's hands on him. A drink. He needed a drink. He made a beeline for the coolers, and found a bottle of dry cider, cracking it and draining half the contents immediately.

Jeff was invited to a pool party with some friends. He felt that it was kind of important to invite Somer. More then just wanting him there, he wanted to interact with him with people around. He had been there some time before he saw Somer come in. Jeff smiled to him but saw him run to the drinks, so he just turned away. He knew this was going to be different for them but he hoped it would be okay in the end.

Maybe it was true alcohol made you brave. Somer didn't know. He carried his bottle over to where Jeff was, slipping up beside him and waiting to be noticed. "Have you claimed a chair?" he whispered to Jeff in a lull in the conversation.

Jeff smiled, turning to him and wrapping his arm around Somer's waist. "No, I haven't but you want us to find one?" He nudged and kissed his cheek. Fuck caring who saw right now. He introduced him to the girl he was talking to before, smiling as he still held him some.

Somer leaned in to Jeff's hold without thinking about it, though he had to step away to hold out his hand to the girl. She was cute, he thought, but Jeff was cuter. Then he realised what he was thinking and buried his face in his cider bottle again. What was happening to him? "I'm gonna go find a chair to leave my shoes and shirt on, okay?" he said to Jeff, looking up at him.

Jeff nodded, letting him go. He watched him as he walked away. Though he wanted to follow, he knew this all had to be a bit slower with others around, though he knew seeing him shirtless was going to drive him a little nuts.

An hour later, Somer had been through three bottles of cider, hurled himself into the pool with a wild yell, wrestled underwater with Jeff and at least two other guys, and was now the bottom half of one team of chicken. He didn't even remember the name of the girl on his shoulders, but it didn't matter. He was having far too much fun. He tossed his hair out of his eyes, and that made him wobble at just the wrong time, and he and the girl went over in a laughing breathless heap into the water.

When they came back up to the whoops and hollers of the winning team, Somer slicked his hair out of his face to find the girl wrapping her arms around his neck, her legs around his hips, and gluing her lips to his. He tried to backpedal, arms going around her totally by instinct so she wouldn't fall, and tripped over his own feet underwater, going under again with a splash.

Jeff hadn't seen Somer like this; he seemed really relaxed but then again, he had been drinking. It was something, playing in the pool and just having a good time. Maybe this would be okay, maybe they would work together in the end if he was able to let go this much. They had been close and semi-cuddly with others around, though Jeff knew it was all the alcohol in the end.

Jeff had just gotten out of the pool, going for a soda when he heard whooping. He turned to see what it was and stopped dead in his tracks. There in the pool was Somer, kissing a girl. Not just that, he was holding her and going under the water with her as well. He didn't say anything, just grabbed his shirt and bag, walking out as he fought back tears of anger and pain.

Somer managed to disentangle himself from the girl, pushing her away, and came up just in time to see Jeff snatch up his shirt. The way the dancer was moving, Somer could tell instantly something was wrong. Shit. The girl tried to wind herself around him again, and absently he shifted aside, diving under the water and pushing as fast as he could for the edge. "Jeff!" he called, but over the sound of the party he was pretty sure the blond didn't hear him. Somer heaved himself out, streaming, trying to catch his balance. "/Jeff/!"

Jeff was gone, he was out the front door and running. He didn't stop until he reached his safe place, stepping in and sliding against the wall. He curled up to cry. He had put himself out there so much, he had told Somer how he felt and maybe he was asking too much of Somer to think that he'd want to just figure them out, that he wouldn't reach out for someone else. Turning the music up, he let it flow through his body and blood, trying to get his mind off the pain that was ripping him down.

The redhead spat swearwords like watermelon seeds, utterly ignoring every other person in favour of the knot that had tied itself in his gut and started sinking. He could picture, with despair, exactly what Jeff thought he'd seen, and after their time together the other day ... well. His eyes were hot, but he couldn't afford to cry right now. He had to be able to see, so he could find Jeff.

He didn't have any clear memories of leaving the party, only of stumbling up the steps to the AXi house and banging on the door. "Jeff!" he yelled, stepped back and looking at the window to the dancer's room. "Jeff, please! Please talk to me!" His voice cracked on the last word.

Jeff was deep in his head as the music ran through. He was moving to it, ignoring the world and everything that was around him. He didn't care who saw him, he just had to release, even as tears fell from his eyes.

Tyler finally stuck his head out of the window, looking bleary-eyed and tousled. "The fuck you want, Rainault?" he shouted. "Some of us are tryin' to sleep!"

"Where's Jeff?!" Somer yelled back, fists clenching at his sides. He knew he must look a sight, shirt sticking to his chest, hair dripping, but he didn't care. He /had/ to find Jeff. Every minute seemed to pulse in his chest. He'd seen the shattering in the lines of Jeff's body, a kind of breakage that words wouldn't hold.

"Party," Tyler shouted back down. "With you, idiot!"

"He ran away," Somer said, voice catching again.

Tyler shrugged, leaning back. "Then he's at the studio." He slammed the window shut, and Somer just stood there, blinking.

By now Jeff wasn't really crying anymore. The music was taking him over and he had to just give in. His dance, though, for anyone that saw, they could see the pain he felt with each move. He knew he had to work out the jumps yet, but right now he was just on point and letting all his body choose the movements.

This time Somer made only one stop. He allowed himself to take the time to stop by his room and grab his notebook, the private one he never shared with anyone else. There was something in there Jeff needed to see. Then he ran, head down and legs pumping, toward the Fine Arts building, blindly pushing his way down the stairs, and nearly collided with the door of the dance studio he knew Jeff favoured.

Fear shocked through him then. What if Jeff refused to speak to him, refused to let him explain? What if he'd screwed up this thing, this glorious thing that was the best thing to ever happen to him, and he couldn't ever recover it? His hand shook on the handle. But if he didn't at least try, he'd regret it forever. Carefully Somer turned the handle, clutching his notebook to his chest, and stopped dead in the doorway.

Jeff was dancing.

Somer thought he had seen Jeff shattering at the pool. He knew better now. Every motion, every turn and step and leap whimpered heartbreak. The tears Somer had been holding back broke loose.

Jeff had just finished a leap and spin when he saw Somer standing there. Stopping, his eyes read of the pain, the hurt and the anger, all of what his lips weren't saying. Stopping the music, he stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, looking away. Somer was crying? In Jeff's mind, Somer didn't get to cry. He didn't put himself out there with how he felt only to have Jeff kiss someone else, no. He wouldn't look at him, just stood and waited, wondering if he'd even say anything.

He didn't step into the room. It would have been an invasion. This was Jeff's space. Somer smeared at the tearstreaks on his face and looked at Jeff. "I'm sorry," he said, voice breaking for the third time. "I didn't -- she just grabbed me. I didn't know she was going to k-kiss me. Please, Jeff, you have to believe me."

Jeff bit his lip, tears falling. "You didn't push her away ... you didn't even try to push her away. You held her!" His voice got louder as he shook his head. "It's fine though, it's cool, you told me you didn't know for sure what you were and you were confused so now I'm sure you know and it's fine." He sighed heavily. "I put myself out there you know, I put myself out there for you. I told you over and over again I don't do this, I don't go on dates, I don't do feelings like this with anyone because of this, because I'm so damn scared that I'll get hurt. Then I met you and I guess I was too stupid to think that maybe you wouldn't hurt me that you wouldn't go kiss someone else." Jeff ran his fingers through his hair. "I put myself out there for you ... and now I feel like my heart is ripped out and shattered."

Somer was crushed. "I was falling," he objected, voice choked. "I was falling, and she grabbed me, her legs were all wrapped around me, and I thought she was falling too." He hugged his notebook to his chest, head drooping. "You're my first kiss. My first everything, honestly." Somer closed his eyes, swallowing a sob. "I didn't mean to. I didn't want to be kissing her. I want to be kissing you."

His head shot up as Somer said the last words to him. "Don't lie to me Somer. Don't lie to me," his words an intense whisper as he shook where he stood. "I've never lied to you so don't lie to me. I saw you in the pool ... I know what I saw."

The redhead flinched back. "Don't," he choked. "Don't, don't say that, please. I'm not lying. I'm not, I -- ask them! I came right after you. I didn't know she was going to do that, I didn't want her to, I don't -- " Somer ran out of words. He clutched the notebook, then shoved it at Jeff. "Here. The last one. I made it for you, after ... after. I made it for you. It's yours."

He had wanted to share that poem with Jeff and see how Jeff reacted. But that obviously wasn't going to be an option now. He held out the little brown notebook, waiting for the dancer to take it, ready to flee immediately.

Jeff was about to push past him and leave. He couldn't trust his words now, not really. When the book was thrust at him, he gave him the chance and read it.

He couldn't watch Jeff read it. That was a piece of his heart on paper, and if this was the end he couldn't bear to see Jeff toss his heart aside. Somer turned aside, burying his face in his hands. He wanted to curl up and die, but his legs were shaking too much to let him take more than a few steps.

Once he was finished, Jeff tossed the journal over to his things and called out for Somer. When the other boy returned, he took a deep breath. "Say it," he whispered. "Tell me what you're trying to say in that poem please," his words going soft and high pitched. His heart was still breaking but if Somer really meant it then he had to say it.

The slap of the notebook hitting the floor made Somer jerk, fresh tears coming to his eyes. But then Jeff called out to him, and he turned back, slowly. Their date flashed back into his head. The text he'd written to Hunter. "As you wish," Somer said, voice cracking in the middle. He stood in the doorway, a tear sliding down his cheek, and looked up at Jeff. "I want this. I want you. I." He had to stop for a moment, throat too choked to continue, and shook his head sharply. "I can't say it any better than those words. Those are the best words. Please."

Jeff stepped closer, putting his hand out to Somer. He didn't say anything, just hoped he'd take his hand.

Somer's breathing shook. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "God, I'm so sorry." He stumbled a few steps toward Jeff, grabbing his hand, holding on for dear life.

Jeff pulled him in close, wrapping his arms around Somer and just holding him. He held him tight as if he was trying to put them both back together. Jeff's head came to rest on Somer's shoulder, tears slipping from his eyes as he just stood there holding him and hoping Somer would do the same for him.

It took half a second for Somer to wrap his arms around Jeff's waist and bury his face in the dancer's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he sobbed again.

Jeff shook his head, moving his head back to lay his forehead against Somer's. "Stop saying that and show me. Show me ... " he whispered, his eyes still shut, wondering how Somer was going to show him.

Somer wailed, "I don't know how! I don't know how to do any of this!" He opened his eyes, glittering with tears, to look at Jeff.

Jeff looked at him. "Kiss me, gingerbread, you crazy beautiful boy ... " he whispered to him. "Just fucking kiss me like you love me."

The redhead gulped, then disentangled them enough that he could reach up to push Jeff's hair out of those hazel eyes. His fingertips trailed along Jeff's cheek, cupping it, before he pushed up on his toes to seal his mouth to Jeff's.

Jeff leaned into his touch; oh, how he loved Somer's touch on his skin. Kissing him back, Jeff scooped down and picked Somer up off the ground to make it easier as they kissed. He wasn't about to pull away, wanting, no, needing to feel this after all the pain he had just felt.

Somer barely noticed as Jeff picked him up, only settling his arms around the dancer's shoulders and wrapping his legs around his hips. It was the same way the girl had held on to him, but this was different. Worlds different. He kissed Jeff the way he'd been dreaming about, the way he'd been holding back from since their first kiss. Kissed him like Jeff was water and Somer had been in a desert. "I'm sorry," he whispered into that kiss. "I was afraid of losing you, and I almost did to something that wasn't even my fault, and I don't ever want to do that again."

Jeff held him up; he was as light as a feather in his arms. They were kissing as they were always meant to kiss, like the world around them was black and white, only they were in color. When Somer spoke, Jeff tugged his lip. "Don't go kissing other people anymore ... accident or not." Jeff fully broke the kiss. "I can't ... I can't take it. I've put my all out there with you and I can't lose you, not now or ever. " He put their foreheads together again.

The writer choked on a watery giggle. "It's been two weeks," he murmured. "I feel like I'm falling really fast, okay?" He kissed Jeff again, because the words weren't coming.

"Two weeks or not, I know I'm falling in love with you ... whales," Jeff replied, kissing him again and setting him on his feet. Pulling from the kiss, he waited, wanting and telling Somer with his eyes, he was still on the hook and asking what was next.

"Whales?" Somer repeated, starting to grin, then started to laugh until he couldn't breathe. He had to hold on to Jeff to keep his balance. "Blondie, oh, oh my god," he whooped at last, breathless from the swing between emotions. Picking up Jeff's hand, he turned it over and kissed the palm. "I'm shaking inside," he said, softly. "Like jello. Like a ten on the richter scale earthquake."

He kissed each fingertip, then each knuckle, then twined his fingers into Jeff's. "I have something else I want to share with you. Back at my room. Okay?"

Jeff was surprised when he laughed but it didn't upset him, no, it made him smile. He loved Somer's laugh, holding him to keep him from falling over. "Yeah, well that explains why you're trying to fall over on me." Gripping his hand a little tighter. With his fingers kissed, Jeff nodded. He was still unsure about Somer's feelings, he had yet to just say it, but he was willing to at least give him the night.

"I need you to go back to your room and change clothes, okay?" Somer said. He squeezed Jeff's hand. "Something comfortable. Something you feel good in. Maybe wash the chlorine out of your hair. Then I want you to come to my room. Bring whatever you need for the morning." He felt that knot in his gut again, waiting for Jeff to refuse, but he plunged on anyway. Now or never.

"I want you to stay the night with me. In my bed. I want to go to sleep with you holding me, and wake up with me holding you. Please?"

Jeff heard him talking, just listening as he looked to their fingers. "Okay," he whispered, dropping Somer's hand and grabbing his notebook. Jeff handed it back to him, before heading to his room. He took a long time, showering, changing, and, really, debating on even leaving the frat. Jeff sat on his bed, so scared for this all to just turn on him, he cried tears in silence for a bit. Finally, with contacts out, he put his glasses on and made his way to Somer's room. Jeff wore oversized clothes that fully covered him as if he was trying to hide. His arm wrapped his middle, trying to hold himself together. He knocked, waiting and using his free hand to wipe at his tears.

Somer had meant for Jeff to keep the notebook. A symbol of trust. With the writing in there, Jeff could destroy him far more than Benji had done. He'd tell him that, later, Somer decided, running back to his room. He rushed through a shower, then set up his keyboard, hands shaking. Then all he could do was wait as the hour grew later, heart in his throat, jumping at every sound. He was almost convinced Jeff wasn't coming after all.

He tripped over the legs of the keyboard stand on the way to the door, and his chest seized at the way Jeff looked. Grabbing both hands, Somer pulled Jeff inside and kicked the door shut, not caring if it slammed. The other people on the hall had been slamming doors all week. Let them suck it. He had to save this relationship.

He led the blond to his desk chair, then picked up the little notebook again. "I meant you to keep this," Somer said, heart pounding. "It's. It's like your dance. And I'm ... trusting you with it. If you w-want to hurt me, this is all you need." He put it in Jeff's hand, then walked over to the keyboard.

Jeff went when he was pulled and sat on the chair. Taking the notebook, he just nodded. At Somer walking away, he let out a noise, a whine as he didn't want him to walk away. He wanted him there by him. Whatever the keyboard was for, it would have to wait. Right now, Jeff was more in need of his physical touch then he could form words for.

The redhead's head snapped up at the sound. "No?" he asked.

Jeff felt the tears pile in his eyes as he reached out for Somer. He wanted to hear it, he did but he wanted him more right now.

"Jeff ... " Somer breathed, heart aching. He went over, taking the blond's hand, and bending down just enough to kiss him. This was a gentle kiss, much softer than the kisses in the dance studio. "Blondie, please don't cry," Somer begged. "I'm here. I'm right here, I want you to be here, I don't know what else to say to you."

Jeff didn't kiss back, but he did pull Somer into his lap and hugged his waist as he started to cry. Tears streamed down his cheek as he just held the redhead in his arms. This. This was what he wanted, to hold Somer, for Somer to touch him and hold him too. To hear him say it finally, say what he knew the boy had put in poems and song. "Please Somer, don't write, don't sing it, just say it, please," he said through tears.

"What more do you want me to say?" he begged. "I said I want you, I want to be with you. What else?"

Jeff shook his head, he had asked him over and over again tonight. He didn't know how else to ask or beg or plead with him to say it. Say what Jeff had had the courage to say to him in the beginning, that he wanted him, that he liked him, what he liked. He needed Somer to just word vomit to him.

Somer closed his eyes, heart breaking. "Jeff, please," he whispered. "I ... do you even know what you've done to me? Every time you even look at me, I can't see anyone else. You were my first kiss, and now all I want is for you to be my only kiss. I don't even know how it happened, how you got ahold of my heart and just ran off with it -- maybe it's your smile. Or the way your hair falls over your face -- I don't know!" His voice rose in intensity.

"I've never been in love before. I don't know if that's what this is, but I know when you left that party all I could think of was following you. You make me feel like I'm flying, and oh god I'm terrified I'm going to fall and I think maybe I already have, fallen for you. God, I don't know, but you look at me, you touch me and I'm just lost." Somer buried his face in Jeff's shoulder. "I don't even have anything else to give you because you already have all of it. My heart, my body, my soul, I think I'd walk through fire for you and I don't even know how that happened!" The redhead gasped in a breath, trembling, eyes wide but blind with tears.

There it was. Jeff felt the weight on him suddenly lift, the tears dry in his eyes. He felt like he could breathe now, his arms wrapping Somer's waist a little tighter. He nuzzled at him, trying to get him to look at him and when he did, Jeff put his forehead to Somer's and just looked into his eyes. "Thank you. Thank you for telling me, I know you said you wanted me here but I needed to know how much, I needed to know how you felt from your lips." The words were shared in a whisper. "I don't want to let you go. Could I hold you while you play or something?"

The redhead shook his head, shaking like a leaf in Jeff's arms. "I can't play now. I can't. It would -- " He lifted a hand to where Jeff could see it, see how it was trembling.

Jeff took his hand, kissing his fingers and then his cheek. "Maybe we should just lay down ... you did say I could hold you and you hold me. I'd really like to hold you." His words were still so soft, as if he spoke any louder everything would shatter.

"I'm not even sure I can move," Somer confessed. "Jeff, blondie, there is a reason I write those things and this is why."

"Because saying them makes you shake?" Jeff asked, holding his hand in his own.

"Because it's exhausting. Really emotionally exhausting."

Jeff chuckled softly. "Yeah, it really is." Caressing his cheek. "I could carry you, if you're okay with it." He offered the idea, because right now, he just kind of wanted to lay with him.

Somer nodded, looping his arms around Jeff's neck. "You could maybe take off your shirt too," he whispered.

"Only if you do too," Jeff replied, standing and moving them to the bed. He laid with his back against the wall, pulling his shirt off and slipping under the blanket to wait for Somer to join him there.

"I -- I picked this one so you could take it off me," Somer confessed. He waited a moment to steady his breathing, then rucked the covers down and stretched himself out next to Jeff. One hand came up to balance himself against that bare chest and another shudder rippled through the redhead.

Jeff nodded, then took Somer's shirt off him. Laying on his back, he felt Somer's shiver and touch to his body. Reaching up, he caressed his cheek. "Come here," he whispered, pulling him down so they could kiss once more.

"As you wish," Somer smiled into the kiss. He shifted until he was partly on top of Jeff, feeling the way the other boy's warmth and touch eased the trembling away.

Jeff kissed back, fingers weaving into Somer's hair. He couldn't feel or focus on anything else but how it felt to be shirtless and kissing as they were. Pulling back for a moment, Jeff whispered, "Does this mean you're my boyfriend?" He giggled, kissing Somer's chin.

"Nngh, stop that," Somer said, swatting at Jeff. "I think so," and saying that gave him a thrill. "Now stop kissing my chin, what the hell. There are better places to kiss me."

Jeff kissed his chin again, just to bug him before licking his cheek. "Like that? Is that better?" He laughed, actually kissing him now and tugging on his bottom lip.

Somer poked at Jeff's side, threatening to tickle him, but quickly got lost in the deep kiss. When they came up for air he'd forgotten about it. "Lie still," he said instead, sliding down to embark on a kiss exploration of Jeff's torso.

Jeff was glad he had shut him up and kept the other boy from tickling him. Being told to stay still, Jeff's brow raised then he watched Somer sink a little on him. "What are you doing?"

"Learning you," Somer murmured, his mouth against a freckle. He looked up. "Should I stop?" A flicker of fear showed in his eyes.

Jeff gasped, then shook his head. "No no, just stay above the belt for tonight." His breath shivered as it was a bit of an overload already with the hormones pumping through him.

Somer slid back up, looking at Jeff. "Oh. Okay, I can do something else."

"Wait ... you wanted to go there?" Jeff blushed once more. He had been through bjs and handjobs but no one ever wanted to touch him like that. "I've never had ... no one ... no one ever really wants me like that ... "

The redhead looked at Jeff, biting his lip. "I mean," he started, "every single time you kiss my fingers, my whole body lights up. When you ... did what you did the other day ... Jeff, I /want/ you." He swallowed. "When you say no, I stop. And I, I, I don't know what's going to happen. But I want you."

Jeff's eyes got huge for a moment. "Somer, do you want to touch me like I did you ... I know words are hard but I'm scared I'm going to misunderstand and I don't want to misunderstand you. I want you too, a lot."

"I, I, maybe?" Somer squeaked. "I'm sort of trying to nerve myself up to it?" He looked down, then back up, also flushing. "I just kind of want to touch and be touched everywhere?"

Jeff sat up on his elbows, they both were flushed and that said something. "Do you have a bath or only a shower?" he asked suddenly, having an idea that would allow both and let them be a bit more relaxed together.

Somer blinked at him, a little confused. "It's a tub ... I mean, between these two singles, it's a pretty nice tub, honestly ... "

"Then you want to touch and be touched ... so let's take a bath together, wash off the tears and everything together." Jeff sat up fully and took his sweats off to leave him in his boxers, his hand out for Somer to take.  "Come on, gingerbread."

Somer shifted around so Jeff had space to move in, but kept staring at him. After a minute he said, "But you didn't want me to see you naked the other day."

"Yeah, I know ... and you weren't sure you were gay; things are different now. I want this and you but slowly so to me this is slow but still fills what we're both wanting. Now I'm getting cold and you're drooling, are you coming or am I bathing by myself?" He wiggled his brow in a teasing manner.

The redhead clapped a hand to his mouth. "I am not!" he squawked. But then he caught the eyebrow waggle, and he thought maybe he could be. A little. He scrambled off the bed, pushing off his lounging pants and lunging for the bathroom door.

Jeff giggled, "You so are and it's really cute." Running, he stopped to turn the water on and chuckled as Somer stepped in. Sitting on the counter, Jeff beckoned him closer with one finger. "Come here, boyfriend," he said, licking his lips.

Somer's eyes went very dark. He went over and locked the other door, firmly, then crossed to stand between Jeff's knees. "God, you're so gorgeous," he breathed involuntarily. His hands rested lightly on Jeff's thighs. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

Jeff licked his lips, looking Somer up and down. "Well your boxers tell me a lot." His arms came up to wrap around Somer's neck, fingers playing with the short hairs on the back of his neck. "You are the gorgeous one though, don't fool yourself."

The redhead turned brilliantly red. The counter did nothing for their difference in heights, leaving him looking up into Jeff's face, helpless under that touch.

Jeff smiled, kissing his chin and sliding off the counter. He turned the water to the tub off and turned away from him. Slipping his boxers off, jeff slipped into the tub and set a washcloth over his cock. "Come on in and join me. It's warm."

Somer felt his ears buzz with a rush of blood. Swallowing hard, he pushed his own boxers off and stepped into the bath, hiding behind his hands. "W-where do you want me?"

Jeff scooted forward, pointing behind him. "Right there, I wanna lay against you if that's alright." His eyes ran over Somer's body. He wanted to comment about how he'd seen it all but he knew if he hid then it was only fair to let Somer hide as well.

Somer stepped around him carefully, then lowered himself into the water and stretched his legs out. He helped Jeff lay back against him, the hot water forcing him to relax some. Letting out a slow breath, he rested his cheek on his ... his boyfriend's pale hair.

Jeff leaned back, shifting so his head would rest against Somer's shoulder. He looked up to him, his hand finding Somer's and bringing it to rest on Jeff's stomach as he shivered. "I trust you, so if you want to touch then you can ... "

Somer closed his eyes, breathing slowly. A shiver shook his body. "This is kinda backwards, you know," he murmured. "With you being so much taller than me." He turned his face into Jeff's hair, blindly drifting his fingertips over the blond's abs. He could feel some muscle definition, not a lot, and some marks on the skin.

Jeff hummed, biting his lip, his body was already reacting to Somer's touch. "I know but I need it this way, to feel you around me." His words wobbled as his body shivered from how the touch felt to him. "Next time, you can be little spoon." Jeff nuzzled his neck to hide some.

A terrible thought abruptly occurred to Somer. "Jeff," he whispered. "Did someone hurt you? Physically?" He laid his hand palm down, feeling the way the water smoothed over Jeff's skin, and drew it up, painting a wet line along his breastbone.

Jeff shook his head. "No, just ... I lost someone I cared about when I was young, so I find it hard to trust anyone anymore and when I did do physical things with people they didn't care to give it back, they just wanted it and I was okay with it, until I wasn't ... "

Somer wrapped his other arm around Jeff's shoulders, hugging him close. "I'm sorry," he whispered into that bright hair. "People shouldn't be used like that. I don't want to use you like that." He trailed his free hand up and down Jeff's torso, just lightly touching, not even paying attention to where his hand was wandering. He found a rougher patch under his fingertips and realised after a second it was a nipple.

Jeff put his hands over Somer's arm. "I know but I did do it to myself. There are some things about me I need to tell you, I need you to know about me." His breath jumped as his nipple was touchd, Jeff letting out a soft moan as he blushed. "Somer, I have bipolar."

Somer's hands stilled for a moment, before he hugged even tighter. "I wondered." The redhead shifted to where he could look at Jeff in the eyes. "I have depression," he offered.

Jeff looked back at him, smiling as he touched his cheek. "I kind of guessed so. I guess we're more meant for each other then we knew ... earlier when I couldn't talk, it was because of the bipolar, I can shut down, when I know, I know it's going to be hard but I need things like this. You holding me or letting me hold you, I need physical touch." He sighed softly. "What can I do to help you when you're down?"

"Be here," Somer said softly. "Just ... be here. Don't let me be alone with my thoughts." He ran his hands up and down Jeff's upper arms. "Can you sit up a little? It's hard to kiss you like this."

Jeff nodded, then sat up some and turned a bit. "Is that better?" he chuckled, making a kissy face at him to make his boyfriend smile.

Their legs were all tangled together now, bits of them sticking out of the water, but Somer didn't really care. He put his fingertips under Jeff's chin, smiling a particular quiet and warm smile that made his eyes shine, then leaned in and kissed his boyfriend slowly.

Jeff gladly took the kiss, pressing into him more. They were probably getting water on the floor but he didn't care right then. He just cared about kissing Somer, feeling that sweet and caring love that was in their kisses.

He spent a long time kissing Jeff like that, soft and slow and gentle, learning about the ways that their lips meeting could make his whole body tingle. "Jeff," he sighed finally, incredibly turned on and totally unwilling to do anything about it. Somer realised his hands were in the blond hair, cradling Jeff's face. "Sorry," he said ruefully.

Jeff enjoyed the way they were kissing, even making a sound when Somer pulled away. "What? What are you sorry for?" A confused look covered his face as he nuzzled Somer's cheek a bit more. "You didn't do anything to be sorry for ... "

"I was supposed to be touching you," Somer muttered, flushing.

"You are touching me, you're holding me, kissing me, to me that's touching." Jeff nuzzled his cheek still. "I don't care what happens, just as long as I'm with you right now in this moment."

Jeff's nose brushed that spot under Somer's ear, and he shivered hard with a moan. "What happens if I do that to you?" He gently turned Jeff's face away, so he could get to that spot on him, and dropped a tiny kiss there. Then he nuzzled Jeff's ear and took the lobe between his teeth.

Jeff gasped, his body instantly reacting as he moaned. "Things, lots of things," he moaned to him, letting his eyes roll back some as he licked over his lips. His grip tightened on Somer's arm.

It felt like Jeff's reaction shocked into him, and Somer moaned in turn. "Yeah?" he breathed. "Good things?" He bit just a little bit harder, then trailed an open-mouthed kiss down to the corner of Jeff's jaw. "'s doing good things to /me/."

Jeff nodded. "Yeah, good things ... tease." He whimpered, feeling his body react even more. At this rate, he was going to pull Somer from the bath for some other fun in the bed. "Such a tease...oh my god, Somer."

"Not." Somer shifted, a bit, and Jeff's body rubbed up against him. He moaned again, pushing the blond's head back with his thumb so he could get to his throat. The skin there begged to be kissed.

"So am." His head being moved, he mouthed the words now as Somer kissed new spots on his skin. He was gone at this point, his cock hard and he could feel Somer's as well now. "Hmm baby, maybe we should go back to your room ... "

Somer had to move again to keep going down along Jeff's neck, down toward his collarbone. "Yeah, okay," he managed, unwilling to let his mouth move away from that soft skin too much.

Jeff had to pull away, getting out and wrapping a towel around himself, though it was difficult. "Come on, hoover." He knew he had marks on his skin that would be there for days to come. He pulled the plug and handed Somer a towel, kissing him hard to keep them both surged up on the feeling. His hand in Somer's, he ran them back to the boy's dorm. Kissing once more, Jeff laid back with Somer slightly over him. "Do you remember where you were?" He giggled.

The way Jeff kissed him made Somer want to melt. From feeling like he was in control, exploring his boyfriend, he felt like he could just submit while Jeff did whatever he wanted. His eyes were blown dark, only a thin ring of green showing. "I think you blew it out of my head," he said. "Let me just ... " He got Jeff to sit up a little, putting a pillow behind his head, then leaned over him on one elbow and started to trail kisses from the corner of his mouth back. "Here?" he breathed into Jeff's ear. "Was I here?"

Jeff lifted up as Somer asked him to, then got back where he was. He smiled, nodding. "Yep there ... right there." He pulled the blanket over himself some, as he didn't know if Somer noticed or knew what was going on with Jeff as his skin was kissed more and more. His neck was even more his weak spot then he knew until now.

Somer found a spot under the line of the blond's jaw, and touched the tip of his tongue to it, then kissed there. "Maybe I was here." He trailed a series of open-mouthed kisses down the column of Jeff's throat to his collarbone, then nibbled there gently.

Jeff was biting his lip now, trying not to give into the feeling that Somer had found all his weaknesses in his neck. It was just so much pleasure to him and most guys only kissed him, used him and tossed him. To have someone want to get him going was still so new. He whispered under his breath how good it felt, eyes rolling back some.

It was a little surprising to discover just how much he liked having Jeff helplessly moaning under him. Curiously, Somer let his hands wander over the dancer's torso, finding missed water droplets and making little doodles with them. "So perfect," he whispered, kissing the hollow of Jeff's shoulder.

Jeff shook his head; he couldn't take it much more. So catching Somer in a kiss, he rolled his boyfriend on his back. "So are you, now my turn." Already knowing where to kiss to leave him squirming. His lips pressing on his neck then the spot where his shoulder met his neck, Jeff sucked with the purpose of leaving a mark.

"Ack!" Somer sprawled under Jeff now, gasping and whimpering. As soon as Jeff showed the slightest sign of control the redhead was lost. His breathing hitched, and his hands on Jeff's sides clenched. "I th-thought ~ nnn ~ "

Jeff pulled back, nuzzling his nose past Somer's as he smiled down to him. "You thought what?" he asked, still pressing soft kisses against his cheek, jaw and neck. He knew he was teasing him but Somer had just spent a half an hour doing the same to him.

"You said ~ ah god ~ people didn't give physical things to you ~ christ Jeff ~ so I was trying ..." Somer whimpered under the onslaught of kisses, hands slipping down to Jeff's bare hips.

Jeff moved to lay his forehead on Somer's. Now he understood, so rolling some, he had them lay on their sides facing each other. "I like touching you too, so maybe we can do it together?" Gently he touched his cheek then slid his hand down to lace with Somer's.

Somer was starting to get the idea that Jeff thought he had something to hide, but the plan to pursue that got lost in the feel of Jeff's hand in his. "Just tell me what you want."

He chewed his lip then let out a long and wavering sigh. "I want you to touch me, but can we do it like this? I wanna be able to curl into you and kiss you easier." He put Somer's hand on his hip.

The redhead thought about that for a second. "But how will I nibble on your ear and make you make those nice noises?" he asked, rubbing his thumb against Jeff's skin. He reached out his other hand to tuck it under his boyfriend's neck, scooting closer until they were almost touching.

"Use the other one?" he smiled, moving into him more. Feeling his hand on his neck, Jeff shivered softly; how could his touch do so much for him? Yet Jeff felt like his touch was pure intoxication.

Somer tipped his head just a little bit, enough to catch at Jeff's mouth. He went back to those soft, slow kisses, nipping at the blond's lip and lightly brushing their tongues together. He needed to catch those sounds again, to know that he was doing this to Jeff.

Jeff was happy to kiss him again, his hand in Somer's hair as he did. The kisses were slow but they earned a moan from him with each passing moment. They were learning each other and it was kind of fun to find new things they both enjoyed in each other.

The fine hair rose on Somer's skin when Jeff sounded like that. He pulled himself even closer to Jeff, jolting when their hips met. Just the blanket lay between their bare bodies now, and Somer slipped his arm up Jeff's back to pull him ever closer.

Jeff broke from the kiss the moment their hips met, his body reacting and pressing against Somer for more. "Fuck that felt good," he whispered with a light laugh, pressing back into the kiss and finding himself moving closer still.

Somer blinked at him for a second, mouth damp and breathing hard. He gave a breathless nod, fingertips scraping down Jeff's back, and bit his boyfriend's lip rather hard.

Jeff moaned, this time his hips pressed forward more and didn't move back. His hand came to rest on Somer's lower back and he rolled their hips more and more, not letting him pull away. He could feel how his cock was responding, sending jolts of pleasure through him.

"Ah, god," Somer gasped, his head falling back. "Jeff, god, Jeff, please." Nothing had ever felt as good as this, except maybe Jeff's hand on him. His hand fisted against the dancer's back, tense with desire.

Jeff bit at his own lip, still moving with Somer. "Baby can I touch you, please." Having an idea. With the permission, he grabbed them both in hand and started to stroke, the blanket moved out of the way. Jeff letting out small moans as he felt his cock against Somer's.

Somer cried out, raggedly. Their arms and elbows were tangled awkwardly, but he couldn't find enough mind to care. "So good," he moaned, lower lip clenched between his teeth. One hand found a lock of Jeff's hair and closed on it. Just the sensation of a foreign cock against his own had him reeling.

Jeff was so far gone in how they were together, he was lost in the pleasure. Feeling Somer's hand in his hair, he leaned up to kiss him, tugging his lip out as he did. Jeff was close already, his legs shaking as he got closer and closer. He couldn't hold out, moaning into the kiss as he shot around his hand. It had been a long time coming.

The way Jeff kissed him, feeling Jeff climax -- Somer followed him right over that edge, his cry of bliss muffled in his boyfriend's kiss. He saw stars for a minute, clinging to the blond and gasping. "God," Somer groaned.

Jeff chuckled softly, kissing him again. "Yeah, you could say that." His eyes closed as he tried to catch his breath. He felt like he had run a marathon but still felt the tingles of their touches as well. Letting them go, he laughed. "We need to shower and a new blanket."

Somer huffed a laugh. "We need whole new sheets, are you kidding? Also, um." He bit his lip, green eyes flicking down to Jeff's chest. "Is that what they call make-up sex?"

Jeff shrugged. "I don't think so, maybe but then again, normally that's having like full sex. We just got off with each other ... " He blushed. "I really don't know," he giggled, curling up to Somer and kissing his cheek.

Somer tipped his head back, encouraging Jeff to kiss down his throat. "If it's all the same to you, let's skip the fight beforehand next time."

"I don't like fighting with you, so I'm good with that. I do like hearing you moan though, a lot." Jeff kissed his throat. "Come on, we should shower ... it's getting late and I'm getting sleepy, baby."

Obediently, the redhead moaned softly, shivering a bit. "I thought you didn't want me to see you naked?" he asked hazily.

Jeff shook his head, "Don't care anymore, I mean, I do but I've seen you twice, I don't think it's fair if I keep hiding, just be nice okay?" he stated, as he kissed him once more.

"Stop derailing me," Somer scolded when Jeff let him up that time. "I can't think when you're kissing me. Or touching me. Or existing, honestly." He rolled over and sat up on his elbows, pointedly keeping his eyes on Jeff's face. "If we get in the shower together, I don't think getting clean is going to happen." His face was red, but he forged on. "S-so maybe it might be better if you go first."

Jeff giggled, nodding then. "Okay no more kisses and I'll even stop breathing." Jeff held a breath in with puffed up cheeks. He smiled, nodding then about they should take them alone. Slowly letting the breath out, he kissed Somer's nose. "Okay, you first then."

When Jeff held his breath with that silly face, Somer flopped back laughing. "You dork," he said fondly. "Complete dork." He tumbled over sideways out of the bed, shaking his head a bit, and grinned at Jeff. "If I'm first, that means you have to remake the bed?"

"I'm your dork though." Jeff kissed him quick. "Yes, I'll do that, just tell me where the sheets and things are." He stood up as well and stretched a bit, his full body finally exposed to Somer.

"Yes," Somer said softly. "My dork." And wasn't that strange. He pulled out a new stack of sheets for Jeff, then purposefully took a step back and looked at his boyfriend from head to toe. Slowly, trying to get Jeff to blush. "I don't know what you think you were hiding," he said bluntly after a moment.

Jeff smiled, blushing a bit. "Just ... I'm not small and I thought it could freak you out. I didn't want to freak you out." He pouted, taking the sheets and stripping the others off. "I'm guessing you're okay with it then?

Somer draped a towel over his arm, grabbing a clean pair of boxers, then turned back to Jeff. He grabbed the blond's arm, making him stop. "Jeff. I'm used to people being bigger than me. You're, what, half a foot taller than I am?" Somer shrugged, blushing. "Wh-when we get to a point where it might be a thing, then I'll deal with it."

Jeff looked to him. "Okay," he said, kissing his cheek then swatting his ass softly. "Go get clean so I can get clean so we can snuggle and sleep." With that, he was back to making the bed, humming softly under his breath as he worked.

Hearing his boyfriend hum made Somer want to sing. He was usually pretty shy about letting people see and hear him play or sing, but he had been planning to sing for Jeff, so maybe after they showered? He hurried through, mostly just rinsing off.

When Jeff was done, he had a towel around his waist and his discarded boxers in his hand. He still hummed some, a song stuck in his head that brought a smile to his lips. Somer brought the biggest smile though.

Somer was sitting at his keyboard, an open button-down thrown over his shoulders and his fingers moving softly over the keys. He was singing half under his breath, head tossed back and eyes closed. His red hair was finger-combed sideways in an unconscious imitation of Jeff's usual style.

Jeff hadn't taken long in the shower, getting out and putting his boxers back on. He came to lean against Somer's door, seeing him behind the keyboard, he didn't speak, just stood and listened. He was trying to make out the words he was singing so softly.

He fumbled a word, and made a face, scoffing at himself. Lifting his fingers from the keys, Somer hung his head forward, shaking it and running his fingers through his hair, then started over. ~\o You're the light, you're the night, you're the color of my blood ~\o

Jeff bit his lip the moment Somer started to sing. He knew the song, he had heard it before but it coming from Somer's lips was new and how it made his heart skip beats. He covered his mouth to keep from making a sound as Somer continued to sing.

Somer thought about Jeff, picturing that laughing smile behind his closed eyes. Picturing the way Jeff moved when the music swallowed him up. Picturing the way they looked together with a quirk of his lips. ~\o Only you can set my heart on fire, on fire ... ~\o The lyrics suddenly seemed to mean so much more, and he threw his voice up into the next lines with more feeling.

Jeff was still in awe as he sang. Was this what he was trying to sing earlier? Either way, it was so much and felt so good to hear, even if Somer couldn't say it, he could really sing it.

The redhead had sung love songs before. He would sing anything he could make fit his voice -- but he'd thought of Jeff when learning the chords for this one a week ago, and it was Jeff he was imagining singing it for now. He'd wanted to, before, but the blond had needed to be touched, and now Somer wasn't sure he could find the courage again. But right now, he thought, Jeff was in the shower. Nobody was paying attention to him, and he poured his whole soul into the last verse and chorus.

Jeff felt the tears run down his cheeks. He had put his all into the end of it, making Jeff feel it down to his bones. He knew Somer didn't know he was there so he tried to stay quiet, but with the last notes, a choke slipped past his lips. "Sorry, I just, I finished and heard you singing and ... that song was amazing, Somer." He smiled.

His head whipped around, unbalancing himself, and he had to scramble to keep from falling over and taking the keyboard down with him. His heart hammered and his face was on fire. "I thought, I thought you were in the shower," Somer stammered.

"I was ... but when I came out ... " Jeff blushed, then walked over to him. He helped Somer to stand, caressing his cheek. "Sorry if you didn't want me to hear it, just it really was beautiful, like you are beautiful."

Somer just stared at Jeff, his heart still beating hard and his breath coming short. "I -- no, I did, I just ... wasn't. Expecting it to be now." He leaned his forehead against Jeff's chest.

Jeff wrapped him more in a hug, kissing his cheek. "Sorry, next time you play it I'll act like it's the first time, though I think every time you play it I'm going to cry," he whispered to him. "You ready to go to bed? I'm very tired."

"Don't cry," Somer protested, starting to walk their hug backward to the clean bed. "I'm not that good. Don't cry."

"Good tears, happy tears." Jeff movied with him, laying down on the bed now, his arms tight around Somer's waist, their legs tangling some. Jeff let out a long yawn, his eyes showing the tiredness as well.

Apparently Somer wasn't going to get to take his shirt off before sleeping. He decided he didn't care, snuggling down with his back to Jeff's chest. Stretching out, he clicked off the fairy lights and turned on his night sounds. "Mine," he murmured.

Jeff's hand slipped under Somer's shirt, resting on his stomach. "Hmm? Hmm mine," he whispered back, pulling him close as he yawned again. Soon his breath was evening out and he was drifting off, his grip never lost.

#c:jeff #para: jeff. #para: 7.10 now or never #;para

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #177

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up.”

What’s your favorite flavor of ice pop? Strawberry or watermelon. Do you like animal print? What’s your favorite print? Not particularly, but I suppose jaguar. What do you think of foot tattoos? Surprisingly, not a big fan. It's gotta be cute, well-placed, and small. Did your senior class in high school have a class trip? Where did you go? Maybe? I don't remember. What do you normally order at Dunkin Donuts? Chocolate frosted. What do you drink with dinner? It varies. Can be soda, water, milk... Peanuts or sunflower seeds? I don't like either. What is your favorite grocery store to shop at, and how often do you shop for groceries? Sam's Club totally has the best deals, but I don't make the shopping calls here. Who is your favorite character from the last movie you watched? Uhhh the super paranoid lady whose actress is a legend. Where did you have your first kiss? What about your last kiss? His bed; airport. What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? Phone bill. Who do you feel you have the most in common with? Sara. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Myself. Have you ever apologized to someone, but didn’t mean it? I'm sure at some point. What is the one thing that you can’t resist? Reese's, I sometimes cannooooot tell myself no to a Mtn. Dew Voltage, wanting to pet an animal even if it's dangerous, and uhhh I'm sure there's more. Have you ever done another person's homework for money? No. If you could play any piece of music on an instrument, what would it be? Teach me the ending piece from WKM on the piano so I could ruin myself further than just listening to it already does. Have you ever treated someone like they were nothing? I don't believe so. If you could ask 5 questions and get an exact answer, what would you ask? Oh yikes, deep one. Um... 1.) what is the cure for cancer, 2.) cure for Alzheimer's/dementia, 3.) cure for HIV/AIDS, 4.) how can/is it even possible to obtain world peace, and 5.) will I be stable in the future are what come to mind first. Does it frighten you when animals get into fights? I GET VERY SCARED FOR THE ANIMALS. When you were little did you touch just about everything in the store? YUP YUP YUP. Do you ever leave your drinks out in the open at a party? N/A, but I absolutely would not. Ever suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? Yes. Who is someone you’ll always hate? No one I personally know. How many people do you trust 100 percent? Just one. I would include Mom, but I know she lies about Dad. Do you think you could survive a month of solitary confinement? NO, I really think I'd lose it and kill myself. Do you often start books, yet never finish them? I don't read, but I'd do that if I didn't like it. When was the last time you felt abandoned by someone? Idr. Does the sight of blood gross you out? No. Have you ever gone through a red light? No. Do you fail to stop for stop signs, sometimes? No. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? Blue. When you are sad, do you cheer yourself up, or look to others? It depends, but I usually begin with the former. During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? 2016 can been damned by God themselves. Have you ever seen a bluejay in person? Yes. Have you ever eaten grass/leaves? Probably as a kid. Do you typically like green-colored candies? Yeah! Apple flavor is the bomb.com. Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? Ryder, my nephew. Who makes you smile the most often? Sara Jane. :') How do you express your happiness? I'm louder, more talkative, goofier. When was the last time you did a good deed? Uhhh idk. It's a tiny thing, but I suppose you could count me getting my old man bub with arthritis up on the bed when he wanted up. What songs make you happy? Lots... Do you like to sing? Sometimes, but I'm not good at it. Where is somewhere that holds fond memories for you? Ummm the little pond behind the community college where we took our first prom photos. That whole day was just extremely magical, and passing it is a severe PTSD trigger so if for whatever reason we're driving past there, Mom goes around it. I did pass it a few months back when I was taking pictures of flowers around the college and I was okay, probably because I didn't even glance at it. What do you think of the gothic stereotype? # A E S T H E T I C Have you ever encountered a black widow? Yup. What scares you, more than anything else? Ending up alone/losing all those I love. Has an animal ever peed on you? Lol yeah...  Pet rodents have multiple times when getting them accustomed to being held, a puppy probably has, and Venus (my snake) did once after I held her for like an hour, aha. Couldn't be mad at that angel, she was obviously so comfy. What would make a cool substitute color for the sun? Pink. Is purple a good color for a car? Sure. Do you prefer green or purple/red grapes? Purple; crisper. What is something you like that is sour? Warheads. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some hot wings at BWW with one of the hottest sauces. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Idk, I'm sure something with Sara. Who did you last see on webcam? I've no idea. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Ramen? I only like the spicy chicken Yakisoba ones. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Name a really popular television show you never got into: Ha, a lot. Game of Thrones, for one, but I'd be willing to give it a second chance via more episodes and a different attitude and actually kinda want to. Sara, add that to our list. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? No, I don't believe so. I need to start listening to my old friend's band, though, because I really want to support them; they work so hard and are very serious about taking their band somewhere. Nova Mortis if you're interested and like heavy metal. What do you find really interesting? THE PARANORMAL, for one. Genetics, psychology, fossils, abandoned buildings and shacks, natural selection and evolution, outer space, differences in languages and cultures, and so much more. Who is your favorite video game character? Spyro! What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? I like never post pictures, but selfies on FB, then I have two photography Instagrams. Do you remember the first person you felt sexually attracted to? Seriously, Jason. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Is there anything on your bucket list that you’re hoping to cross off soon? A lot of things, but. Probably won't be soon as many include travel. Of all of your friends’ significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? Sam's wife Kieley is an absolute doll; least, idk. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? HAHAHAHAHA I REEEEEAAAAALLY DON'T WANT TO PICTURE THAT KNOWING NOW HE DIDN'T/DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME AND CAN'T COMMUNICATE FOR SHIT. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? N/A Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? Girt, hardcore. Eventually did, but we know how that went. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yup: if they've assaulted someone, prostitution is involved, casual flings/one-night stands have happened, being/have been a porn star, cheated before. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? Like, everyone will answer that question with "vet." Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? lol nope I doubt I'd last a day with no technology. Do you use a photo editor? Lightroom, Photoshop, sometimes PhotoScape. Is your dad overweight? Quite the opposite. Ever been honked at? Yeah. Which do you prefer, doctor or dentist? Dentist; I'm never nervous for them. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I haaaate whipped cream. Texture thing. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Two meerkats grooming, done on a huge thing of burlap. What’s your favorite type of sushi? Never tried, never will. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Scarlett. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yup. I had a long insomnia streak where I physically couldn't sleep without Melatonin. What is your current favorite song? I'm hooked on "The Bottom is a Rock" by Mother Mother rn. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Are you jealous of anyone, even mildly? If so, who? Yeah, my sisters, as well as some real successful friends. Have you ever done a craft you saw in a magazine? No. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Celine Dion, Loreena McKennitt, Sebastian Bach, David Draiman, and Amy Lee off the top of my head. What act would you perform in a talent show? I wouldn't, I got nothin'. What area are you the most gifted in, do you think? Um... writing, I guess? Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? BALLGOWN BITCH Do you enjoy editing videos? Ye! Do you enjoy editing photos? Yup. Who do you think is the most attractive actor? I see u Jason Momoa. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? I don't believe so. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you have any of your neighbors as friends on Facebook? No. When was the last time you thought about sex, or sexual things? Ummm within the past few days probably, at least briefly? Are there any flowers planted outside your house? We have a tall bush that sprouts big, pink flowers, if that counts. Does anyone in your family smoke? Dad. What was the very first election you voted in? I haven't yet. Do you have a drone? No. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? No, rather too shy. Were you tired when you woke up this morning? YEAH. I slept like shit and had to get up early for a VR assessment. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? I feel like I'd say something sarcastic to them. Or be more mature about it and ask why. Or cry. Are you proud of who you are? Eh, only in certain areas... Is your vision good? I can barely read the line below the big "E." So no lmao. Are you a legal adult? Yeah but idk how. Has anyone ever called you a flirt? No. What was the last compliment your received? The assessment lady at VR loved my hair. Do you know any sign language? No. Who was the last person to give you a gift? Sara, on our anniversary. Do you trust the media? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BITCH NO. If you could kill off one species of animal, which would it be? Can gnats like????? not???????? Idk if they have a single useful function????????? What kind of cookies are your favorite? Chocolate chip. Who’d you last say I love you to? My mom. What’s the most overpaid job in your opinion? I'm not educated on this enough to give you an informed answer. What’s the last thing you wrote down? Working out a math problem during the assessment. When’s the last time you didn’t sleep in your own bed? Over a month ago. When’s the last time you heard a gunshot? Idk. Who’d you get mad at last? Myself. What’s the last thing that annoyed you? Bentley wouldn't listen. When’s the last time you gave someone advice? I think yesterday? Do you think you’re lucky, unlucky, or neither? Neither. Who did you last disappoint? Myself. Do you enjoy learning? Of course!!!! I mean there're subjects I have no interest in and don't enjoy, but learning as a whole is great. People say you learn something new every day, so what did you learn today? Well it was nothing big, but that I could return Miku before she got hurt since Mitsu didn't appreciate a new "buddy." Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? They can look super badass or awful depending on your face and eyebrow thickness imo. When I say The Beatles, what is the first song that comes to mind? "Yellow Submarine" even tho I hate that song???? In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Hot and humid, especially with no breeze. Just no. You can only listen to 1 band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? DON'T MAKE ME. What is something that you had to learn the hard way? DON'T. THINK. A RELATIONSHIP. IS WITHOUT A SINGLE CHANCE. OF. SOMEONE. LEAVING. EVEN. IN THE MOST "SECURE" ONES. When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Ahhhh I'm not sure. Either something with Mom or Sara. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom. If your ex called you right now, would you answer? I don't have his number, so I wouldn't answer. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Sara. Do you want your tongue pierced? It is. 10/10 recommend for cute factor, but 0/10 for the healing process and pain asjfawiwo. Mine's through the very tip of my tongue and because that area is so sensitive, it was so painful that I became immediately nauseous. Pain didn't entirely vanish for almost two weeks. BUT I have zero regrets, so worth it. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yeah. What’s one thing in your life that you wish you could change? Financial position. Have you ever been in a perfect relationship? Ha, don't ever believe those exist. Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the most? Nope. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Ummm I don't believe so. Well, I don't know if I'd take back going all the way or whatever the fuck that was, maybe I would. idk Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? I'm capable, but I don't enjoy it at all. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yeah, being in a shit mood and/or being impulsive with my words. Do you like french fries? Who the FUCK sayin no to this. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? To some degree/in certain aspects. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? Probs brownies. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? No. Are you good with managing your finances? I don't. Not in that position yet. What is the closest pizza place to your house? Domino's. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names? Hmmmm no. Are you any good at drawing? Some things. Is there anything unusual about your house? No. Can you maintain a text conversation or do you run out of things to say? I think I'm good at keeping *text* convos going, surprisingly. Do you find it hard to talk to strangers, even people who work in stores? YEAH!!!!!!! Have you ever tasted goat’s milk? No. Did you ever take classes for a musical instrument when you were younger? Yup. Band member all through middle school, stopped after my junior year of HS. Do you snore when you sleep? No, but I talk a loooot. Who is the first person who broke your heart? Dad. Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Jason's dad was in the Navy. What religion are you? Theist, which basically just entails me believing there's a god/goddess/some sorta beginning deity, but hell if I know anything about them. I make my own guesses. Who is the last person you gave a ride to, and where did you take them? I don't have a license or my own car. What is the last thing you untruthfully denied? Hm. I'm not sure. Have you ever ridden on a real train? No. Name ONE good memory about your last ex? He's absolutely hilarious and I miss hanging out more! Would you consider yourself dishonest? Not gonna bullshit and claim I never am, but in general, no. Do you tend to let people break through your walls easily? HAHA YEAH RIGHT. What are you superstitious about? Nothing. What is the coolest thing you can do? Oh boy, hell if I know. I know from experience people are often surprised how even skittish animals/pets seem to be drawn to me; does that count? Is there anyone you want to hook up with that you haven’t? Not my thing.

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