#i have OCD and am writing from experience/how i wish people reacted. please be normal about this post <3

[strangesickness]

i was talking about stan and his OCD the other day but i didn't really talk about how the other losers would act about it. so!

please remember that OCD is a varied condition and not everyone with it is like what is depicted in this post!

bill

at first stan keeps his obsessions to himself, he's pretty aware of what is a "typical" thought process and what is his brain being kinda weird

but eventually bill finds him having a panic attack over something seemingly mundane. young stan to me had obsessions that focused on the supernatural and "curses", so something like opening an umbrella indoors throws him into hysterics

and as soon as he realizes what he's doing he's humiliated, because like who the fuck cares? everyone knows that's just a stupid superstition, and he's so worried bill's going to think he's a weirdo or a coward

but bill is like. extremely reasonable about it, i think he's used to georgie getting upset over seemingly nonsensical things (the way kids do), so he's just used to treating things he doesn't understand with severity.

maybe there's nothing scary to him about opening an umbrella indoors, but its clearly upset stan and that's what matters here. he calmly asks him what he's upset about and reassures him that if it upsets him then its important

he gets stan to talk through it, bill brings up how richie always opens his umbrella indoors but nothing bad has ever happened to him because of it, which doesn't help a ton because OCD isn't typically very reasonable, but it helps a bit, and stan calms down enough that bill bringing up richie prompts him to go off on a rant about something stupid richie did at school while bill was gone

eddie

despite not having OCD eddie gets it, especially after he finds out that he isn't actually sick

eddie is the first person stan chooses to tell about the weird circles his brain runs in, because he knows eddie still carries around his fake inhaler

eddie isn't scared of the same things stan is, but he can understand being afraid of something he logically knows can't hurt him. they're pretty good at working each other out of panic attacks because of this

richie

(the things richie says to stan here are things you should never ever say to someone with OCD unless you have their express permission, stan finds it funny and helpful, and as someone with OCD so do i, but many will not, and talking like this could make their mental state worse and is just generally an asshole thing to do!)

on paper richie is an asshole to stan about his OCD, he calls him unreasonable, tells him he makes no sense, he's worrying over nothing, etc.

he frequently makes fun of stan's obsessions, if stan says something he thought because of his OCD richie will repeat it back to him in a Voice

but by some miracle this does wonders for stan

if anyone else was saying this stuff it would make him feel like shit, but because it's richie it's hilarious (not that he shows it)

richie assigning characters to his obsessions has managed to completely discredit some of them, and stan is straight up Not Bothered by some of them anymore because as soon as the thought pops up so does richie's voice and he can't take it seriously

there's the scandalized mother who thinks stan is a horrible person for not appreciating his meals properly or something

there's the conspiracy theorist trying to convince stan curses are real

and there's the high school coach who acts like stan is a one man army and they're going to lose the entire war if stan doesn't fold his sheets properly

stan doesn't want to give richie credit for his improved mental state because the way he did it is ridiculous, but yeah, richie and his voices have definitely helped

beverly

bev is great at Not Talking About It and Being Normal About It

stan will say something extremely concerning (use your imagination, i don't want to provide an example lol), and bev is like "yeah thats fucked up." and then they move on

he never gets the feeling she's brushing him off or anything, she'd definitely Actually Talk About It if he asked, but sometimes he just needs to get the thought out there and then immediately move on

sometimes it is exhausting to actually talk about feelings, sometimes stan just needs to express that he's feeling something, be acknowledged, then move on

"i just thought [insert concerning compulsion he doesn't want to do]" "or we could skip class and build a snowfort before all these other assholes ruin the fresh snow at lunch"

stan never feels judged in the slightest when he's with bev, and it helps free him of some of the judgment in his own mind :)

ben

ben is so so so good at listening, not only is he just the only nice 13 year old stan has ever met, he has one of those faces yknow?

he finds himself telling ben things it took him nearly a decade of friendship to tell bill

ben is clearly confused and concerned, but he never makes stan feel like he's unreasonable

stan usually only tells his friends about his specific obsessions when they've bottled up and are about to explode, or when he's in the midst of a panic attack

but with ben he feels like he can talk about the other stuff that comes with it, the impact his thought processes have had on his life

ben offers suggestions from time to time, not all of them stick, but the ones that do really help stan out

mike

mike finds a way to keep stan from worrying about anything at all

stan could spend all day worrying about something, and then mike shows up and explains some new topic to stan and it's like stan wasn't even stressed in the first place

stan can't even count the number of times mike has gone through an explanation of the history of derry, or what various states are known for, or the tasks mike does at the farm, or the history of some obscure scientific/cultural phenomenon

stan genuinely loves hearing about anything mike wants to talk about, but he also just finds mike to be a really engaging speaker to the point he stops thinking about whatever was bothering him

it is very much a win/win situation

sometimes mike will manage to pull him out of whatever was worrying him and get him to talk about birds and the boy scouts and they always end up having a ton of fun :)

the losers love stan and he loves them <3

#reminder: do not talk to your mentally ill friends the way richie talks to stan here!!! #some might find it funny/helpful but many will not. do not say anything of this sort unless they specifically say its okay! #if they don't find the joke funny you're not being funny you're just being a dick!!! #started writing this post because of the time i referred to one of my Thoughts as “the angry twitter user in my head” #and imagined richie assigning characters to all of stan's obsessions and that completely discrediting them #i have OCD and am writing from experience/how i wish people reacted. please be normal about this post <3 #posts afflicted with a strange sickness #it stephen king #it 2019 #it 2017 #stanley uris #stan uris #bill denbrough #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #beverly marsh #ben hanscom #mike hanlon

[queer-disabled-ill-boy]

To those certain about their DID/OSDD

I'm really fucking confused. I don't know if my alters are real, I don't know if they're endogenic, traumagenic, or what. But please hear me out and help me understand what the fuck is going on in my brain because no one else will. I'm going to start off with my earliest memories with my alters. Crystal was an imaginary friend of mine that I had when I was little (2-5yo), someone separate from me, someone I could "see" if I chose to. After years of trauma I had realized I didn't remember her name at all and had wished upon a star to remember, and later did remember (7-9yo). (I know this is cheezy and bizarre but its the truth and I dont want anything to be missed) After this I was capable of seeing her again and remembering who she was along with creating an older sister for her. But after a while they both disappeared from what I could see. I had gone through more abuse during this time (11-13yo). Once I turned 15 I met my current boyfriend and eventually I realized Crystal was still there, but now she was a part of me, she wasn't someone I could see, but she had changed and became much darker in her personality. After she talked with my now boyfriend she had remembered things that happened before I was even born and so did my "host" Heather. Melody was the older sister I had created for Crystal and Heather before they were a part of me, and Melody had become a part of me too which I had realized later on. Melody has memories of past lives while Crystal and Heather only have memories from before I was born that oddly synced up with what my current boyfriend had explained to me at the time (as though I knew him before I was born). Until I knew what DID/MPD/OSDD was I assumed they were my "souls" and I still believe in some spiritual shit (even though I dont believe in one specific god or acknowledge that one may exist until it is proven to me) and I still am unsure of whether they're "souls", "alters", or something I just made up. I have been diagnosed with BPD, CPTSD, OCD and I suspect I have Autism, and possibly DID or OSDD1. I have a lot of trauma and almost everything lines up with the diagnostics for DID/OSDD. The only problem is..my experience with my "alters" is very different from what other people say. My "alters" share vague memories of a lot of things as though they are all paying attention most of the time. I have really awful memory, and have a lot of repressed memories from the past I'm still trying to uncover. I haven't had complete black out experiences that I just dont remember aside from things that are normal for people with CPTSD. My therapist doesn't want to consider me having DID because he specializes in treatment for BPD and doesn't want to lose focus for our goals. So I can't go to him for a diagnosis. I've read a lot about DID and OSDD, and it seems like I have it..but when I listen to others experiences I usually have trouble relating? It seems to me that most people don't have all of their alters vaguely listening on everything happening so they share memories. I've never experienced a full on switch, but I've felt things like it where my mood and how I react to things changes drastically as though Crystal is fronting but I can still hear and feel everyone else in the background, it's just not as loud?? Also I can check on my alters and see what they're doing in their imaginary home that is my brain. I genuinely feel like the best metaphor for what's happening is my brain is a broken spaceship that my "alters" cant escape and have limited control over because of my OCD and BPD I've heard people say that some of their alters are deaf or have psychosis, but my OCD and BPD seems to effect all of my "alters" The only "alters" that are different mentally are three infants/toddlers who go completely mute and have low comprehensive abilities and can only write/type in incomplete sentences and they front when I'm triggered in some way. It's forced regression and I hate it. also my body is 18. Crystal and Heather are supposedly twins and are 15 and 3/4s. Melody is a 18. And I have one other "alter" named Tyler and he's 14. Crystal and Heather haven't aged since I knew who they were. Melody has only aged 1 year since I knew her. Tyler was 6 when I found him so he's aged 8 years even though I've only aged 3. I really don't understand any of this, it's super confusing, please help me out and let me know what you think ;; Is this DID, OSDD, or am I just a system from some other shit also I do dissociate at least a little, but that may be from BPD. also I probably have other "alters" that I've repressed because my boyfriend couldn't handle how many I had at the time...which is 7 as far as I know

#actuallydissociative #actuallydid #actuallyosdd #actuallyosdd1 #actuallyborderline #actuallybpd #actuallyocd #actually dissociative #actually did #actually bpd #actually borderline #actually osdd #actually osdd1 #actually ocd #actually obsessive #actuallyobsessive