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naswoop · 2 years

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Anonymous:

note: i ramble a lot here again. so for everyone's sake ive decided to turn things in parentheses blue 😔👊

anyways i realize itd be kind of awkward to say more stuff. so ive decided to separate this into two different asks due to the change in topic because Man Do I Have Thoughts. Like. All The Time Every Day. this is more of a stream of consciousness thing than an actual theory

but like. you know how "the king IS siffrin" or whatever is a thing. like. a theory that i think most people have?? after finishing the game??? (source: i successfully convinced a friend of mine to get the game and during our post-game conversation she did tell me that the king being siffrin somehow was an idea she briefly had)

and i think weve talked about it before and that. like. how unlikely it is that the king IS siffrin due to the fact that its. uh. too obvious?? well i thought of two (2) more reasons that its (probably) not true:

1. since you own the artbook youd know that siffrin's pronouns are he/they and the king's are he/him. unless future!siffrin decided "hm... today i will go by he/him :)" theyre probably not the same person

2. i faintly remember going through adrienne's twitter and seeing that last year's april fools joke was something about "the king is the only queer character in the cast and that the rest are cishet. ha ha just kidding!!" and since that implies that the king is cishet (...does it??? i am very bad at reading comprehension sometimes) i feel like thatd be a very weird joke to make in reference to a character who has been explicitly confirmed to canonically be both non-binary and ace

HOWEVER. i do think itd go verily hard if siffrin was like. "the prince" or something. i KNOW this is like the third time ive suggested the idea of siffrin's title/character class changing into something else and im SO sorry but please bear with me here. basically. i am thinking about flowey undertale's line of "i am the prince of this world's future". that's literally it. also please ignore the fact that "prince" is also the name of a homestuck class thing i literally havent looked at homestuck since 2019 so i dont remember what each classpect is all about BUT @any homestucks who may be reading this if reading this makes you end up classpecting siffrin as a prince of time then i WILL cry/j /lh

(if i remember my homestuck classes correctly though then a prince is someone who destroys their aspect or destroys using the power of their aspect. so a prince of time would be someone who either destroys time itself and so leaves everything in a timeless state (such as. oh i dunno. freezing the very flow of time itself) OR someone who destroys using the power of time (e.g. freezing living beings in time and thus effectively "killing" them). hm. [imagine me glaring very hard at the king right now])

anyways im not gonna suggest the idea of a character who goes by "the prince" in sasasa and then leave without any further explanation. so like heres my own two cents on it while working under the assumption that siffrin IS said prince. basically. i have very mixed feelings about the idea of siffrin being the king's kid or something (plus! look at the man! he clearly doesn't have a wife! and as divorce anon let me tell you, he's divorced at best!/j) and besides. judging from the shape of siffrin's crafts and what the artbook itself says on it he's PROBABLY not from vaugarde (although i guess to be fair the artbook never explicitly states that siffrin ISN'T from vaugarde so i guess it could be like. deliberate trickery and tomfoolery. maybe being the prince just makes you Built Different™ and turns your crafts to look like that. i dunno. but personally even though i think the concept of siffrin as "distant traveler returning to the hometown they haven't seen in a long, long time" could definitely be done well i have unfortunately grown too attached to the idea of siffrin being from some faraway place. and besides. isn't four (4) vaugardians a Bit Much? im pretty sure much of the appeal for sasasa's main cast is something something found family + people from all walks of life and places all over the earth and whatever coming together and becoming the closest of companions. so i feel like making the researcher the sole foreigner kind of defeats the point.) so my idea on how being the prince works is that its like. a weird messed up magical "natural order of the universe" thing where "the king" and "the prince" are magical titles ushered and forced onto you by the universe/fate itself and being the king. well. being the king just gives you unimaginable power over time and also makes you Like That. meanwhile being the prince kinda uuuh. you know. may make your craft turn into stars regardless of what it should be but DEFINITELY makes something very, very bad and traumatizing involving time happen to you which may or may not be a time loop where you die repeatedly (the time loop could be caused by something else! who knows! the main point is just to make the prince have an awful relationship with the concept of time and/or the passage of it. see: the king's whole motive being to freeze the flow of time itself because he could not handle the change that inherently comes with the passage of time). in conjunction with my previous "exile siffrin" theory this COULD be why they got exiled. either way, when the current king dies, then the current prince gets dragged screaming and kicking by fate itself like "come here. you will become the sole ruler of a tyrannical monarchy whether or not you like it <3" into becoming the new king or something. this promotion may or may not be immediately apparent to the new king. i dunno. i made most of this up on the fly. i DO think itd be very messed up in a fun way though if it is written in fate itself that the current prince will be the one to kill the current king. and hey. what do you know. siffrin is the one who ultimately deals the final killing blow to the king in the true ending.

(ps. this has literally nothing to do with the rest of the theory (if you could call it that) but what are your thoughts on the idea of like. the rest of the bosses in sasasa2 being named after chess pieces. with the combination of the king being named the way he is, the game being in black&white, siffrin's colors being mostly an inversion of the king's (siffrin has (a patch of) black hair but is dressed in white, meanwhile the king has white hair but is dressed in black), fate being a reoccurring theme in sasasa so far and it being a Bad Thing, and something something about a pawn (who is destined to move only in a straight line until the end of the board, much like how siffrin cannot stray from his journey until the very end) getting promoted when it reaches the end of the chessboard, i personally think itd be VERY cool/g)

Wait, holy heck, I didn’t know asks could come in blue

I'm gonna post this now and type a response later because it's been in my inbox for far too long, but heck yeah more theories with Divorce Anon time

#ask #Divorce Anon #sasasa spoilers

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macklives · 4 years

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session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #hs92 #hs92 end #i wrote more than i should have but i had a lot to say #just you wait for those analogy/analysis posts

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bettycrocker · 4 years

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i have a friend who whenever theres a moment of nothing to do he grabs his phone and starts watching tiktoks and going through his for you page. i can hear the audio through his mic pretty clearly so like i can usually guess what the fuck kind of video hes watching but there was always this one audio clip for like the past 2 or 3 weeks that kept playing.

it starts out with the ‘coin operated boy’ tune and im usually just sitting there like hell yeah i loved this song as a teenager such a nice tune and as soon as the opening is over it just sings “god fucking damnit dave” in a higher pitched, agitated voice and then cuts off so im just under the assumption that its some trend of watching some moron doing some stupid shit and then another person getting really disappointed because i dont watch tiktoks i dont really care for the platform considering all the shit that goes on with it.

but for the past few weeks i havent really thought much of it because its just one of those tiktok trends you know? harmless fun haha but then something clicks in my head one day. i needed to use the restroom while we were taking a break from our wizard101 grind and he was yet again watching tiktoks and when im getting up and taking my headphones off i hear the audio clip. by this point im used to it, ya know? i dont really mind hearing it, in fact it just gets coin operated boy stuck in my head.

but as im out of the room i start thinking about it and it the horrible idea comes to my head.

is this a homestuck thing???

as much as i didnt want to believe it was, the voice used was something id definitely expect some self-proclaimed voice actor to implement when voicing a character like karkat because “yes angry gremlin man must have a voice that is slightly growled but still high pitched because he smol” and the coincidence of the character being named dave of all things was too suspicious for me not to suddenly have a blast of realization, fear, and embarrassment all at once.

while i was away from my computer i kept telling myself “you need to ask him, ask him if thats supposed to be a homestuck thing so you dont have to worry about thinking that every time the audio plays you HAVE to ask him just for your own sanity”

so i go back to my room and sit down

and i forget to ask because goldfish brain

it isnt until the next day while hes afk’d on wizard101 while im doing some sidequests that the audio plays again and that visceral feeling to know what the hell its from rears its ugly head and i calmly ask “hey is that audio a homestuck thing?

he responds “yeah why?”

“just wondering, i just assumed because theres a character named dave in the comic”

“i figured you of all people would know-”

i finally got my peace of mind, knowing i was correct with my assumption. but my friend doesnt stop talking, he keeps going.

“-the full audio is about karkat angrily jacking off to dave and apparently his breathing gets more and more weird as it goes on. i’m pretty sure its by the same person who made that karkalicious thing.”

goldfishbrain.exe has stopped working.

i’m

S O R R Y ?

i’m absolutely speechless for the next 30 seconds

i was satisfied just knowing i was right about it being a homestuck thing, i didn’t want to know about it in this full of detail and honestly i kind of want to eradicate this information from my brain. it makes my head hurt.

“i hate it”

thats all i can say.

“youre the one who asked lol”

“I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW THAT MUCH”

“WELL YOU WERE THE HOMESTUCK I FIGURED YOU KNEW THE CONTEXT”

“I DIDNT AND NOW I WANT TO DIE”

a good majority of the day was spent going back to referencing that and my extreme discomfort on that entire thing, this is information i wish i never knew and i makes me crave a simpler time, one where either i am blissfully unaware of what the whole song consisted of or a time where i had no idea what the fuck homestuck even was.

now every time i hear the opening of coin operated boy, i can only think of “oh its about karkat jacking off to dave” and i fucking hate it.

fuck homestuck

#bettycrocker speaking #homestuck #tiktok #story time

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rabbitproduce · 3 years

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NOVEMBER ICE BREAKER TAG GAME

asdghfdh this almost got lost in my drafts. anyways i was tagged by @erascrhead! i havent done one of these in a while i think. im usually more of a lurker lol. more under the read more

1) What was the last thing you were really excited about?

i think it was animal crossing haha. i stayed up for the release and played it for a good two hours afterwards

2) What do you wish someone taught you long ago?

dont compare your progress (job wise, life experience wise, or anything-wise) to others. it'll only give you FOMO that u cant help and make u anxious instead of anything productive

3) What are some of your guilty pleasures?

trash reality tv. the messier the better. idk why, sometimes i just like watching them scream at each other. and also maybe scream at them

4) What topic could you give a twenty minute presentation on without any preparation?

uhh, probably a really scattered summary of cool crow facts or asian american representation in film/television. i had to write a special paper for it before i graduated. the representation, that is. not the crow facts, i just learned those on my own

5) What scene in a movie or tv show gives you goosebumps every time you watch it?

when miles does his leap of faith in into the spider verse. a great scene and really beautiful

6) What were some of your favorite holiday traditions growing up?

probably having thanksgiving with my extended family. great food and i could hang out with my cousins, who were all older than me and i thought were so cool

7) What book had the most significant impact on you?

probably shelter by jung yun; i read it for one of my first college classes. this book basically helped set the path for the rest of my studies.

8) What weird thing do you have nostalgia for?

god its probably homestuck. play any of the music from it and ill immeditately be catapulted back into my middle/high school years

9) What’s a problem you have, that might be entirely unique to you?

uhh i love purple a lot. like to the point where i want all my shit purple. even my phone. but alas. phone companies are cowards who dont know the value of purple. lol im also wearing a purple hoodie as im typing this.

10) What are two of your favorite snacks?

popcorn and chips, both in original flavor. idk, i just really like salty snacks but its probably bad for my blood pressure or something. i dont really have a sweet tooth; my preferred dessert flavor is anything peanut butter lol

#bunnie talk #erascrhead

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yoitscro · 4 years

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tw: depressive/anxiety talk, suicidal thoughts

its 2:42 am while im writing this, because i cant sleep.

i thought distracting myself enough during the day through working on cosplays and watching youtube videos would help, but after a while it starts to become repetitive enough for my mind to start wandering. specifically to what led me to try and force myself to fixate on it as a distraction in the first place.

a lot of the babbling is going to be weird nonsense that only close friends of mine will get, or people who have no business being on my blog. you know who you are.

the last week has been me dealing with feelings of abandonment, anxiety, and depression. all drifting into an overall feeling of helplessness. not as bad, but feeling just as bad as when a very close friend had ghosted me in late 2018. not as intimidate either, woof, but still bad.

i spoke up about one of my many feelings about a particular fandom issue in a way that got me into completely avoidable controversy by those who wanted to think ill of me. i was then baited into a spotlight of purposeful humiliation in front of people i either respected, tolerated, or have had the willingness to support thru my own wallet.

i left the space due to not wanting to be further witch trialed, after already previously put in a panic due to things being dealt with in a less than mature light. my heart was racing, i had to go to work, and i kept trying to keep from tearing up at the wheel.

the conflict was stuff destined to build up. stuff unspoken about due to the unwillingness to solve issues early on and to make things easy on everyone involve. and in return, ive found a similar pattern that i have with many online situations; tolerant relationships to unspoken beefs, an eventual boiling point, and separation.

i think the thing that stings the most is that if anyone of witness to said spotlight thought of it to be too far, that im certainly not being assured that my relationships aren’t forever poisoned. that anyone is at my side or willing to speak up about how bad things are versus sweeping it under the rug like it never happened. i havent really had anyone directly a witness to it talk to me since. not that they have to, but it makes a situation feel less ignored, or eerily erased. less salt to a wound of previously short responses and ignored conversation from those (some) who enabled abuses of power.

good ol homestuck drama.

(i also keep getting accused of chasing for clout due to not being drastically defensive about sharing a space with others, but that’s its own thing.)

the night after, fitting enough, i got into a fight with my mom over something that didn’t call for dramatics. a very similar theme: she spoke over me, blamed me for things in a blatant form of manipulative psyche play, and threatened to kick me out of the space. after, i left the house during the warning of tornadoes to be by myself, and eventually stayed at a kind friend’s place. i cried and drove with a dead phone battery hoping to run into something by freak accident for the sake of not having to deal with the now. i dont think it was a panic attack? i wouldn’t know.

a few days after, she asked me to help with groceries.

like nothing happened.

i asked my dad about it, and he was very centrist in his ideals and talked about what i should do better versus at all acknowledging the wrongs of my mom.

this is a theme that keeps happening.

i feel like this is always going to keep happening, bc these issues aren’t the firsts. i feel that if i keep attempting to go about my business in a space that something’s always going to come up regardless of how serious the situation actually is. and that someone is going to be out there waiting for me to slight them in some minimalist way to call fault while others know and do nothing.

the home life makes me feel like im no where close to leaving the situation easily, especially with little open help within proximity. i want to move, but it doesn’t seem likely for a good bit.

the fandom life makes me feel like my ability to create things for a series i care about is dampened due to direct behavior from those most relevant to it, and further more makes me unsure who i can casually converse with who hasn’t been told something. who pretends to be tolerable. most of the issues stemming from me venting in private spaces about callous situations (as if i’m the only one to have done this ever) , or from issues that never happened.

it’ll probably happen again for the hintings in this very vent: being put on a spotlight in front of multiple witnesses and contacts over a situation misconstruing my morality. fuck off if i dont have my own space to vent about being put in a vulnerable situation and my boundaries ignored.

i dont think im completely free of judged behavior. i just think others (guess whichever one at your leisure) are not exempt from their own, what it causes as a reactive antagonizing, and neither the people who’ve enabled continuation or dismissed the boiling points.

i dunno. i felt like typing something out. the last week ive mostly felt glued to the couch.

i dont have a solution but if anything i just want to sleep so this isn’t on my mind.

ive been having very drastic thoughts recently since i feel backed into some kind of corner with the options my luck gives me, but i guess im lucky im too cowardly to do shit.

again, i was distracting myself with cosplay stuff earlier. ill probably distract myself with drawing on a later date. but i cant help but feel like things will either get worse or i’ll have to endure acting like things are fine. again.

i suppose the best thing is sticking to my own and continuing to do my own thing even if things dont look up. even tho ive been doing that.

that’s all.

night.

#buzzcull

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unfortunatematchups · 4 years

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its been real, guys.

this blog came to be because four people had a shared passion and wanted to make something out of it. maybe the amount of love we had to this blog wasnt all equal, some of us loved homestuck and writing match ups more than the others.

but as this blog ages, so does our love for homestuck. with homestuck 2 absolutely destroying everything ive come to love about homestuck, ive found that i actually have a weaker grasp and understanding on the characters than i actually do. i can no longer find myself able to match people accurately to my liking.

ive done all i could, really, genuinely, truthfully and painfully. ive done my best not to let homestuck 2, beyond the absolute garbage fire of what i cant bring myself to consider canon, affect how i see and feel about the kids. the trolls havent suffered much slander on their part, not yet anyway. i still love the trolls i love, but the same cant be said for the kids. knowing that this is how the kids turn out to be is crushing and ruins everything ive come to know and love about the characters, even if i never liked some of them that much anyway.

its like watching or reading a horrifying scene or truth about something you love. it taints the image and starts to make you really doubt just whether or not you really knew that thing you claim to love. throughout homestuck 2 ive just been asking myself, ‘is this really the same story?’

i probably shouldnt let some botched writing ruin my perception of what i love. but the damage has been done. theres no point in me writing the characters as they were in homestuck, pretending that what they do in homestuck 2 didnt happen. the final statement is that homestuck 2 hurt the love i had for homestuck, and while im upset that i let it do so, theres nothing i can do. im not going to try and revitalise the passion i had. ive better things to obsess over, and i refuse to waste it on homestuck.

im writing this so that any of you following this blog or have the intent to can see this and reevaluate whether or not you really want to follow or keep following. right now theres nintey-four people following, and id be lying if i said i wasnt surprised by how many people actually like the stuff were making.

a part of why im making the grand decision to close this blog is because its run its course. like my previous post stated, im the only one still writing for it. the other writer has other shit going on and so do i. im not going to force the other mods to write for this blog, and neither am i going to force myself to choke out something. i know when something is dying, and i know when to let it rest. the last post i made, i still had a little bit of fight left in me. i thought that if someone came in with a stupid good request, it would reignite that flame and let me get back into the groove of writing. it didnt. theres a lovely five part request that gives me plenty of inspiration, but i was kidding myself.

by the time id made that post, i think its safe to say that most of us lost that spark of adrenaline we had in the beginning. there was a slim chance i was going to keep it running, and the wheel didnt land on it.

i thought i knew the characters. and maybe i do, but not as closely as i once did. i no longer have the ability to write up something that matches bits and pieces of both personalities together to form a complete, satisfying puzzle. im just staring at a paragraph of bullshit that i cant string together long enough to properly read it, let alone make a response to it. im losing whatever investment i put into homestuck, and its showing. i havent even thought about homestuck all that much in these few months. thats not to say i wont still love john, dave and equius, but they take less space in my heart than they used to.

another part of why im closing this blog is so i wont have to have it nagging at the back of my mind. since february ive always kept this blog in the back of my mind, checking in on it once every few weeks to see if theres a new ask or follow. and there is. people are still following this blog, waiting for a response, waiting for the content that this blog provided. im not going to lie, there probably wont be. maybe i can refurbish it for something else, but as of now, this blog is going to be left alone.

thats all. thanks for taking the time to read this. theres no proper way to explain why this blog is closing, so this is the best i can and will do. its been real, and im glad i could make some people happy with the matches.

to mod spaghetti, thanks for checking in on this blog from time to time, giving ur lil posts here and there, and helping with some of the matches. stay vibin, cryptid.

to mod pie, thanks for writing those non homestuck requests. i dont know how to comfort people, so i hope the memes im sending you help, even if by a little. keep vibin with ur nasty owo shit

and to mod tamago. thanks for those late night editing sessions where i would just vomit words and youd clean up the mistakes. who knew i made so many, huh? heres to hopefully getting any grade above c for our future modules.

#homestuck #mod olio #not matchup #last post?#unlikely #for now?#absolutely

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brackishbarracuda · 4 years

Note

💠 pregnancy/gravidity?

weirdly i have different hcs on it, in that i have one set of hcs i usually go by, and then Meenahs are Completely Different for no discernible reason other than she was my first tumblr and homestuck muse in tandem and shes a bit of a mess bc of it. Please keep that in mind in the next few minutes lmao, shes a lot of slapped together nonsense with bandaids attached. this also gets a bit gross, so fair warning. Secondary warning: i never read to the very end of homestuck, though i got close. i also never read epilogues or any new updates, and do not plan to.

For meenahs TL, trolls cant carry. any trolls cannot do this thing, they were not made for it as a species. They are made to be highly adaptable within a few generations to a variety of atmospheres and environments, which is helpful when your self proclaimed empress wants to conquer the known universe, etc. getting off topic but my hc is that these (relatively) recent generations are humanoid bc condy sent down to the caverns like ‘hey i wanna fuck that planet up make ppl who can live there’ and some sciency nonsense i havent thought about yet happens w the jades. Anyway. meens tl definately played sgrub and she def blew them up, so they were actually the Ghost Versions of themselves as is in the comic, but the part where it gets funky is that, bc they basically cheated themselves into this new game, their basecode got weird. It didnt effect much while the game was running, but once the human players won, things went south, and the game tried to give them the win also, but couldnt reconcile the fuckt code. So, as a last ditch effort, it rewrote it with the ‘base’ code it was working off of and smashed some humany code bits into the hecked troll code bits to patch together something that would work enough. this still didnt quite work, so they were ‘ejected’, which, again off topic, but is why meenah and all of her timeline are scattered across time and space. the practical result here is that their code is still fuckt, and some of them got some parts when their bodies were rematerialized that they shouldnt have maybe had, and suddenly meenah and a handful of others could do the thing. Its not a frankenstein thing where its like, weird tissue in body what do, but it just Is their body now. this is how the game was told to remake them. its just a bit of a forced puzzle piece and made for a very confused meenah when she found out she was gonna be having Aya. also for reasons that conclude in ‘my friend wanted a baby and i said okay but egg’ , they have eggs that then incubate for a little longer before hatching into troll baby leg bug. anyway, meen being as tiny as she is coupled with the jenga of her internal organs in a body not made to handle this all of the sudden made for a very dangerous pregnancy that could have killed her and definitely did a number on her regardless.

#pregnancy/#childbirth/#gravid/#alien babies #went on a few tangents lads.#ooc #ooc baracuda #Anonymous

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

Text

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 15 - Candy Page 34

==>

John finally decides to let the relevance of his story end, and enjoy that he’s made at least some of his other friends happy with his choice. Time to read Page 34...

VRISKA: Pfft, yeah, wh8tever. I’m basically Immortal, bitch.

Preeeetty sure you’re confusing yourself with one of your parents.

Pff, actual healthy kismesis with a Tavros? Wow, we’re getting all sorts of redemption by not-really-Vriska proxy here.

HARRY ANDERSON: he’s always getting all weepy whenever i talk to him anyway. HARRY ANDERSON: i don’t think i could have taken another round of him choking back tears while apologizing to me about “what happened with me and your mother, harry.” HARRY ANDERSON: i mean, god. he’s not even fucking DRUNK when he does this. HARRY ANDERSON: that might actually be the most embarrassing part.

.......

Okay, having grown up with a father who suffered from serious depression and would break into tears embarrassingly easily, uh. I can relate? But also fuck you, that’s inconsiderate.

--Dammit, new Vriska is catching wind of old Vriska.

Vriska and (Vriska) both start shrieking at a pitch John’s only ever heard one time before. It was a sound that once accompanied the end of everything. A sound once heard the night he dreamt in anime.

Oh that’s brilliant. If the entire Candy arc ended here it’d be great, though I know it’s not quite over yet.

==>

...Oh shit, we actually get to see what happens immediately next.

Interesting introspective thoughts! Or, trying her best NOT to be introspective and failing.

Oh my god, SHUT UP Gamzee. Vriska, just kill him already??

PFFF HE SENT A PIC OF IT TO KARKAT :D

Pfff. Yeah, Vriska, TRY and ignore what just happened and how it was almost entirely your idea.

(Vriska) is so furious, she has no way of pinpointing the exact moment her intent stopped being intimidating him into silence and started being guaranteeing his silence, forever.

Thank FUCKING goodness, PLEASE kill him.

YAY he’s dead! :D (Even though he’ll probably revive anyway because bullshit.)

Heheh. NOW we get a cross-Vriska heart to heart.

==>

Alright, a bit more John moping. Man... this Candy section is a whole lot easier to swallow AFTER Meat than I imagine it would have been before.

.....heck. EITHER of these epilogue branches are really fucking hard to swallow the first time around without the other’s context.

Oh huh, it’s his house from the Medium then? Relocated and stuff?

Jake, hm. Is Jake going to try and leave his son with John like that failed kidnapping in reverse or?

Jake snaps the elastic on his pair of red underpants. It’s the only thing he’s wearing.

Oooookay then.

JAKE: She had a certain way she liked me kipped out and well, i didnt want to bring anything that belonged to her when i left. Nothing she er, might miss. TAVROS: You took me,

Jake winces.

TAVROS: And,,, you took you,

Jake’s wince deepens.

Oh, so that’s what this is! Jake fleeing with his son from an abusive relationship. About gosh darn time. .....geez, how bad did it get for JAKE to finally muster the gumption to do that himself after all these years???

Jake is one whole wince now

I know THAT feeling. Or at least feel like I do.

John you dedicate your life to keeping this child happy

JOHN: it’s just been kind of a rough forever.

JAKE: Maybe you should blame me? JAKE: Maybe i need someone to blame me. For once. JOHN: ...huh? JAKE: I think im starting to realize that ive been going through life with the mindset that nothing has ever really been within my control.

YES.

This is how Vriska broke Tavros way back in the comic, by constantly denying him agency. Jake’s been battered down the same way too, and it’s not too late to pick up the reins. He’s already DONE that by finally leaving his genocidal wife.

There’s a bit of Page of Hope-yness to this whole disastrous Candy timeline, come to think of it? People fulfilling others’ desires out of obligation constantly, doing what they think others want? Roxy, Jake, Dave and Karkat... all fucked over at the aggressive whims of more active folk, rolling over when they really shouldn’t have? Or in Roxy’s case, her CHARACTER basically SHOULD NOT HAVE IN THE SLIGHTEST?

JAKE: Havent you ever wanted to let someone make the tough choices for you?

Huh.

Or maybe he is doing exactly what Jake has always done. In a certain light, isn’t ascribing all this mess to some unconscious influence he might have had over the metaphysical shape of reality just a way to brush off his simpler failures as a man and a father?

Yes. You can act and change this too, John. You almost did with the kidnapping before! Go and take down the new Batterwitch.

Hm, Hopey thing?

JAKE: John. JOHN: yeah? JAKE: Take my hand. JOHN: what? why?

Oh shit. Are they going to be able to FIX some of this BS with some sort of hopey thing??? :D Probably too much to hope for but still!

Being flung from Jake’s orbit of Hope and Change

Pffff. Had to throw in an Obama didn’t you.

...Oh. Oh wow. Oh we get to figure out what the fuck was up with Roxy all this time. Oh boy.

JAKE: So what if it doesnt change anything? Wont it matter to your family to see you care? JAKE: Wont it make you feel better to try?

Heheh, Hope aspecty stuff. The ability to believe that something matters even when you “know” it doesn’t.

==>

...Yeah, it’s pretty easy to relax on a dead Gamzee.

Oh cool. These Vriskas are alike enough to bond! New Vriska is still in her teenage unbalanced go-for-it stage, and old Vriska has been knocked down a peg by the clown incident, putting them on a close enough level to not want to instantly disown each other, unlike old Vriska and ghost Vriska.

VRISKA: The Mayor’s dead, dude.

HOW did the Mayor die?!?? Did I just FORGET that from the end of Homestuck or something??

(I mean, probably.)

Callback to the clouds in that first Jade dream John had.

(VRISKA): Or may8e the truth just makes me kind of nervous. VRISKA: What “Truth”? (VRISKA): Don’t tell him I said this, 8ut, I think John is just an extremely powerful 8eing. Even when he sucks. (VRISKA): And he certainly does appear to suck in this reality. (VRISKA): And yet, the uneasy feeling is there. (VRISKA): It’s a vague feeling I’ve had in the 8ack of my mind for a long time, 8ut it really hit me when I was talking to him earlier. (VRISKA): It’s distur8ing to think a8out that much power 8ottled up in one stupid nerd who’ll never understand it. VRISKA: What Power are you even talking a8out? VRISKA: Like, lame Wind Powers? (VRISKA): No, I mean... (VRISKA): The power to shape reality. Even without intending to.

FUCK did he really cause all this??? Even the Roxy shit?!??? D: D: D:

It’s being left vague but it IS sounding like John was actually RIGHT about all that stuff. FUCK, if the “villain” who messed up Roxy is actually just John’s subconscious... :C

Even if the epilogue ends right here, though, with John about to call Roxy, I can imagine it working out, though. It’s on a right enough track there.

(VRISKA): I’ve spent so long caring so much a8out what other people thought of me. Mainly that they saw me as important, or making a “difference.”

Mhmm mhmm. Light n stuff.

Yeah, realizing that importance isn’t ALL that’s “important” is really, um. Important. Ahem.

Hm, other Vriska, that smile had seven pairs of dots, not eight. :?

(VRISKA): The POINT is, I was so mad at her. (VRISKA): That happy ghost version of myself, who was free of everything. (VRISKA): I was pro8a8ly mad 8ecause she got to 8e who she really was, without stressing a8out it, which is something I never felt like I was allowed to have.

Indeed.

(VRISKA): I guess I mean there’s someone specifically I fell out of touch with, who it feels like I’ll never see again.

Too bad, only ghost Vriska got her reunite with ‘Rezi. :P

(VRISKA): On some level I knew she was right. She was happy and honest with herself. And that’s what made her... (VRISKA): A version of myself who was actually worthy of someone I cared a8out.

Yyyep. As I said. :)

VRISKA: You’re just talking a8out The Girl You 8linded that one time, aren’t you? (VRISKA): Ummmmmmmm.

Heheh. Yeah, you’re not going to hide that sort of thing from your sharp near-clone.

Oh cool! She gets to see all those messages and feel turboguilt or something.

...oh shit. Is a message going to actually get to her? It-- oh shit. Didn’t Terezi have her phone buzzing in her pocket and ignored it in the end of Meat or something? Or at SOMEONE did and I thought it conspicuous but it didn’t get addressed in that side of the story and-- FFFFuck is she eventually going to see it or??! D:

She’s GOT to have seen it before running all the way off with villain Dirk, right?? D:

==>

Okay. You seem to be thinking clearly, Roxy. What’s going through your head? Give us some answers. Don’t fuck this up too much, John.

but she knows by now that it’s not her job to make him happy. That was something she gave up on years ago. But wanting to? That feeling is still as fresh as it always was.

FUCK was this all just a placid feeling of obligation to make John happy for all he did to ensure victory or something??? D: D: D:

She’s still working through what she feels about distancing herself from Jane

Yesssss

If he’s truly about to be real with her for the first time in forever,

Gosh fucking DARNIT John, you could have fixed all this DECADES AGO if you had a real talk with her ONCE!!!!!

ROXY: the more i thought abt it the more i figured holdin on to that one thing made me lose out on some other shit ROXY: u might relate JOHN: haha, you got me there i guess.

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how things got to be like they are. JOHN: i guess i’ll just come out and say it. JOHN: i completed fucked up your entire life. JOHN: i’m not going to pretend like there are two sides here. it’s my bad, totally. JOHN: like, not just what happened to our marriage, though it’s also true that that’s completely my fault. JOHN: but even before that... JOHN: i think i fucked up on just this massive, fundamental level, and it’s what i did— JOHN: or, well, what i didn’t do— JOHN: that caused every stupid bullshit thing about the way this world is.

...Huh.

That may not actually be true, and Roxy might be about to prove how self-absorbedly reductive that is.

ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite there my man

Okay YES. If this wasn’t him, then SET HIM THE FUCK STRAIGHT. :D

She knows more than he does, and she doesn’t need to hear it.

TELL US TELL US TELL US

YES TEAR INTO HIM he’s wanted that for so long stand up for yourself and tell us what the fuck happened and why

He’s been looking at her, really looking at her, and she doesn’t want to blink, just in case that shatters it.

Yes because he was looking for the real Roxy that would call out his BS

JOHN: i used to be so angry that you wouldn’t tell me what you really thought, before. JOHN: not like i wanted to FIGHT fight, but like. JOHN: i’m just not used to this flavor of roxy. ROXY: hm ROXY: sounds to me like u just disproved ur own hotshot theory then genius JOHN: huh? ROXY: you wished i was one way the whole time we were married ROXY: but i wasnt

YES!!! Yes his theory’s disproven! He never WANTED Roxy to just act that way, he wasn’t the cause of this, I was hoping for that! :D

ROXY: i was bad at standin up for myself then and im learnin to be good at it now

That’s....... sad, if that’s the explanation. But it’s better than mind control I guess. :(

JOHN: but... JOHN: you were never like that before i... ROXY: dude ROXY: where tf do u get off trying to decide what is or isnt me being “like me” enuff ROXY: do u think ppl stay the same their whole damn lives or what

Oh wow. Now Andrew’s slamming SLAMMING of fanfics. He’s saying “who are you to know for SURE that they wouldn’t act that way”?? That’s pretty good.

ROXY: i like the way things turned out just fuckin fine ROXY: so maybe u could stop wastin precious eternity thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones not perfectly happy

:’)

Mhmm, and they’re free from the heroic design arcs or what have you. Or... were, until Dirk tore them back in again. Tossed aside their fucking victory with his selfish... ugh.

Mhmm, Roxy’s the perfect person to explain that not being in a canon, Light-filled timeline isn’t really a bad thing.

ROXY: i just do things the best way i think to do em and then shrug n hope it works out?

Roxy thinks about time and the spirals of choice that hang just outside her periphery, and the vertigo grows.

Good advice, and hm. Maybe there’s some Void sight kind of playing into this as well, making it easy for her to get paralyzed by indecision and she’s had to learn to work through it.

...Ooh, that was a really cool non-binary gender diatribe in the narrative text. That’s some nice stuff. I felt like that was missing from the Meat side, glad we got it here at least. :D

JOHN: there’s literally nothing to do but keep moving forward. JOHN: i may as well not be a big fucking downer about it if i don’t have to be.

Thank goodness.

YES, JOHN SHOWING HIMSELF STRAIGHT-BACKED FOR HIS SON!!! :D

Man, I wish my dad had done that instead of all the other shit he did. At least he’s dead. :)

(Here’s a hint in case you’re wondering why I was relieved when my Dad offed himself.)

But that’s off topic. Let’s wrap up this epilogue already!!

==>

Page 39... only three or so pages left, right?

Pff, Karkat’s keeping them safe.

Heheh, more shitty Liberty statues.

Heheh, using them for weapons caches.

Gosh I hope they actually love each other and are mostly happy. Jade seems happy, at least. :(

Dammit, there go the doubts. He wouldn’t have had those doubts with Karkat. :C

He’s standing in the Oval Office of the White House.

Oh heck yes. Please tell me...

And over there... is something he doesn’t quite recognize. It doesn’t seem to fit in. He steps closer to investigate, wiping away at the layers of moss and dirt to reveal a surface he most certainly does recognize. It’s a transportalizer.

YES

Dave doesn’t waste any time. You don’t find something like this in the Oval Office and start agonizing over whether or not to use it. He steps on the platform, and in a blink his surroundings are completely different. The centuries of overgrowth are gone, and he appears to be in some sort of crypt, boxed in by walls of smooth, golden stone. At the far side of the room, something is hanging on the wall, encased in a sort of display. It’s a mounted god tier costume, about the size an adult male would wear. He recognizes the symbol. It’s the same one Jake used to wear when they were teens. It is the symbol for Hope.

HELL FUCKING YES

YES OBAMA

OBAMA: Hello, Mr. Strider. OBAMA: I’ve been waiting a long time for you to show up.

Dave’s jaw hangs open. The legends have been confirmed. As well as several key headcanons of his. Without thinking, he drops to one knee and bows his head.

DAVE: m... mr president DAVE: its an honor sir

Man, forget my past stomach clenching. Forget my hesitations, my turbulent emotions, all the ups and downs the various facets of these Epilogue chapters have given me. THIS is the best. THIS makes it all worth it. This is the best thing to have ever happened, and if I ever feel any regrets about ANYTHING that transpired in the Epilogues, I’ll feel infinitely better the moment I remember it gave us THIS.

The most beautiful scene I’ve ever witnessed. All my liberal, economy-ranting hopes and dreams confirmed. It’s glorious.

OBAMA: Come on now, Dave. We can’t be having that. OBAMA: I’m nobody’s king. I’m a democratically elected representative who took an oath to serve his country and his people. People like you, Dave. OBAMA: If anything, I should be the one bowing.

OBAMA. I MISSED YOU OBAMA. I CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE THROUGH YOUR TEXT AND ITS SO COMFORTING AND UPLIFTING

DAVE: mr president what i mean is im a huge fan of yours and i hope this doesnt sound fucked up but on some level i feel like ive been waiting my whole life for this moment?? OBAMA: I know, Dave.

Yes, yes you have. Yes, we can.

OBAMA: Most people thought I was gone. But I was keeping an eye on events. OBAMA: Wouldn’t miss it for anything.

I, too, would like to have the feeling that Obama is still out there, keeping an eye on things. Watching, smiling... providing some last background of Hope as things seem so temporarily sour. That feeling would be amazing.

...I mean he’s still alive IRL, sure, but not Obama watermark smiling lovingly from the sky or anything like it should be.

Yes, back to reading. Back to this glorious, definitely canon moment. The moment we learned that Obama was with us the whole time. :’)

DAVE: sorry if this is nosy but if you didnt die when you disappeared then how did you die OBAMA: Most of that is classified, Dave.

Pfffffff :D

OBAMA: When I was a boy living in Hawaii, on my thirteenth birthday I was visited by a mysterious stranger. OBAMA: He was an older man with a mustache. Kind of a corny, old-fashioned, adventuring type. He tried to convince me we were related. Of course, I thought he was full of shit. OBAMA: To this day, I’m not sure about that. Maybe he was. I didn’t think much of his tall tale at the time, but what did pique my interest was his story. OBAMA: He was voyaging all over the Pacific looking for a mysterious island, which supposedly had all the answers he’d spent his whole life searching for. OBAMA: During his travels, he set up outposts all over the ocean to help with his search. Such as one near where I lived as a boy. The outpost had a laboratory, an archeological dig site, a network of underground tunnels, the works. OBAMA: One time, I snuck in there and did some exploration of my own. Somewhere in the maze of underground ruins, I found a transporter pad, just like the one that brought you here. OBAMA: It sent me to a new realm. A place they called the Medium.

Grandpa Jake of Earth A, thank you SO much for bringing us this gift. The gift of Obama.

OBAMA: Hey, why don’t we take a walk. You’ll have a chance to collect yourself. And there’s something I’d like you to see.

:O :O :O

I am shivering with anticipation.

Ah, leave it to Obama to help Dave with the final steps of his character arc.

OBAMA: Are you sure that’s all he is, Dave?

FIX THINGS OBAMA!!!! :D :D :D

Wait, what if Obama can turn things into an actually legitimate DaveKatJade? That would be a miracle only a god of Hope could pull off.

OBAMA: I’ve had my share of doubts about all that, just like any other man. OBAMA: And I’ve had plenty of the same kind of struggles as you, Dave. DAVE: wait DAVE: you...

Obama nods, smiles wistfully. Dave arches his eyebrows high above his shades. They stare at each other, and in the look they exchange, they seem to say all that needs to be said between two grown men on the matter.

:’)

OBAMA: Believing is the key to understanding the truth underlying the words, the truth underlying the ideas they represent, and the truth underlying who we are as individuals. OBAMA: The power of belief, the power of Hope, that’s what endows that which is intangible, ephemeral, or uncertain with a sense of reality. OBAMA: It brings focus to the insubstantial, the mirages of the mind, the multiplicity of what is possible, of what could be, and isolates it—concentrates it—to turn it into that which is. OBAMA: And the result of that, Dave, is what we call truth.

I didn’t think we’d be learning more about the Hope aspect straight from the mouth of Barack Obama.

OBAMA: He taught me about many things. Combat, philosophy, life, love... DAVE: love??? DAVE: hold on are you saying DAVE: that...

PFFFFFFFF :D :D :D

OBAMA: She’s settled happily into the specific. That’s her path now. OBAMA: All of you have embraced that life, in this safely sequestered version of planet Earth. OBAMA: All of you until now, Dave. OBAMA: This is why you’re here. OBAMA: I believe you’re ready to wake up. DAVE: ...

...this is suddenly possibly going to be getting slightly sad isn’t it. D:

--Oh shit, so THIS is where Davebot came from.

How is he going to break things off with Jade though??? D: D: D:

...Oh my GOSH he’s just going to suddenly vanish and abandon her isn’t he. D:

...alright, merging with his other selves, et cetera...

It defers to its greatest knight, risen anew.

Yeah that’s nice but am I supposed to pretend you’re going to say goodbye to Jade offscreen or

--ah that’s why the bot didn’t have shades, gotta use the genuine Stiller ones

==>

Page 40, and the start of this sounds a lot like the Postscript. But we’re getting more this time, thank god.

ARADIA: when i watched as everything broke apart ARADIA: and got swallowed up by the black hole ARADIA: which is where i ended up too ARADIA: that black hole... ARADIA: thats basically you right JADE: yes. ARADIA: and when you speak of your brother ARADIA: thats lord english JADE: yes. ARADIA: and hes dead JADE: not just yet.

Oh shit. John’s final blow didn’t kill Lord English did it. Alt!Callie is going to strike the very last killing blow herself isn’t she.

JADE: lesser beings have so much trouble perceiving divinity in the uncanny.

Divinity? Like, Lollipop-style divinity? I mean, I guess this IS the Candy branch...? But what made this so “perfect” to begin with?

JADE: this world, unlike the canonical horrors from which it is hermetically insulated, will always fail to meet the combined criteria for truth, relevance, and essentiality that would endow this realm with any real gravity. JADE: its own naturally occurring supply of gravity, rather than the artificial supply i have given it. JADE: as such, what transpires here is characterized by experiential frivolity. JADE: physically, it is cordoned off by the black hole’s event horizon. it is safe. untouchable. JADE: inescapable. ARADIA: that sounds ominous

Oh. So this outside-of-canon timeline-verse whatever that Candy takes place in is like a trap? For Lord English to be trapped in forever, inside not just his OWN story like we thought before but into a place where he’ll be forever irrelevant, while, like... the “Prince” and others following him for pursuit or camaraderie reasons manage to escape somewhere even different? --No wait those people are OUTSIDE this place, in the “real” timeline/universe of Earth C. So Dirk’s destination is somewhere completely different; oh, and alt!Callie is the only one with the power to escape the black hole, to bring Davebot and Aradia with her back to quote-unquote “canon” or the closest thing to it to bring bastard Dirkbro down.

Or... something.

JADE: one could describe it as a phantasmal projection confined within my horizon. JADE: it was created by a choice that made it possible for that horizon to expand infinitely, to consume infinitely. JADE: and since that choice could not coexist with canon events, this place manifested to here to support its consequences. JADE: if this world were capable of anything either essential, relevant, or true in some stable combination, then it would perpetuate a corrosive paradox. JADE: as such, insulation from what is out there, and the inescapable well it rests in, is what protects all it holds inside. JADE: and since i am the embodiment of the black hole in which it rests, JADE: i am the one protecting this world.

Oh huh. So when we saw alt!Callie creating the black hole out of the Sun, she was actually using John’s “choice” and his timeline split to engineer the paradox that drove that singularity’s expansion? And so she’s going to be the lord and safeguard of all that is Non-Canon, and also seek to guide the heroes trying to save what IS Canon?

Hm!

JADE: physical destruction is one thing. JADE: obliteration of the entire canvas for all of reality over a given cosmic span is another. JADE: and yet there are even more insidious forms of destruction and subversion of life to consider. JADE: methods that are difficult to grasp for those on your plane.

Yep, destroying Heart. Destroying Soul. Destroying the uniqueness that drives individual agency and choices, and suborning people completely to your will and ideals without their consent or choice.

Hmm....

JADE: but longer stories have the power to draw consciousness into them. they possess arresting and hypnotic qualities which can be used by their tellers to alter the awareness of the listener.

Yep, like a biased narrator with their claws on the > prompt for characters.

JADE: i brought to your attention that the story you were listening to had a speaker with a specific identity. JADE: and where there is an identity, there can also be an agenda.

Yep yep. And by commandeering the story to his own agenda, Dirk’s been robbing everyone of a fundamental right to their own existences.

JADE: this is the sort of corruption i now must dedicate my existence in this new body to ending once and for all.

Heck Yes; returning the narrative to as objective a speakerless-ness as can be attained or simulated, and divesting the bias from agenda’d narrators that can wrest all control from the participants in a story, enslaving them and making them the author’s puppets instead of true to themselves as characters, people, etc.

--Oh my GOSH, was Dead!Jade eating the remains of Lord English at the end of that Postscript??? She was, wasn’t she? :D :D :D

That’s pretty fucking awesome. And a pretty fucking fair fate for him to get cannibalized by his sister.

JADE: consume his body. JADE: absorb his essence. JADE: and then using this host, i will generate enough power to move beyond the staggering pull of the event horizon encasing this world. JADE: a prison of my own making, which can be escaped only through the supreme unification with my other half. JADE: it is crucial to the cosmos that i succeed. JADE: the prince of heart has to be stopped.

:D :D :D :D :D

Pretty awesome! A decent setup to a story that probably shouldn’t be told, the implied sequel that Meat invites up or whatever. And... oh phew.

Oh PHEW.

OH FUCKING PHEW. HOLD ON.

So. The very last line of the epilogue, the last bit:

The hole leaves behind an absence in the sky so calm that continuing to call it a sky wouldn’t seem to do it justice. It’s a perfectly neutral expanse into which anything one can imagine might be summoned. And for a while, anything was. But not anymore. Where the hole gaped just moments ago, there now exists an imaginary line.

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

Okay! :D :D :D

So, when I read that last line, I was INCREDIBLY disheartened. I thought that Andrew was declaring that canon would never interfere with anything again, that this was the FINAL WORD on Homestuck and everything to do with it as far as canon was concerned, and that Dirk’s crimes and such would forever go unresolved and left to the imagination.

But that’s not what the line meant.

What’s INSIDE the singularity, and thus “under” the imaginary line, is everything non-canon, all the possibility and fanfiction and dead ghosts and such who are trapped in this safeguarded realm alt!Callie created to protect them, away from the influence of any future plot danger beyond the mundane issues they create for themselves.

And what’s OUTSIDE the singularity, above the line, is canon. A canon which actually continues, and which this line doesn’t necessarily cut short.

I don’t know if Andrew will ever continue this nonsense, maybe to show me a Rose who’s actually happy as a robot or something? But... er, that’s not the point. The point is that even though the story “isn’t over”, it’s left so it CAN continue, so that the final state of these ISN’T a permanent cliffhanger to be left forever unfulfilled intentionally. I’ll still be traumatized by the state some of these characters are left in, until Andrew maybe possibly chooses to resolve some of this nonsense with later content, which he probably won’t. Heck, this actually might be easier for him to create a new work with, given how much baggage has been left behind on old Earth and in the singularity, so all you have is a much relatively smaller cast of characters on a chase to wherever Dirk is planning to go? But, like. When I read that Postscript, I stopped believing anyone I saw suggesting we’d get anything after this. Any sort of work of... you know... continuing, er, Homestuckiness from Andrew, no matter what it was. But even just... leaving it open even if he isn’t going to DO anything about it, and having that final line NOT be an aggressive cutoff? Is just nice. Nicer, anyway.

And this singularity is kept safe for us to enjoy ALL of the old stuff, the multitude of possibility that the in-singularity version of Roxy glimpses out of the side of her eye. That--

Oh my Gosh. THAT’S also what the final line means.

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

Homestuck fanfiction is now COMPLETELY FREE FROM CANON.

Within this singularity, nothing has to stay true to absolutely every underpinning of the earlier comic. Nothing has to make sense. Nothing has to be narratively consistent with anything else, though it’s obviously more enjoyable if it is. Truth, essentiality, and relevance may all be FLEXED as much as any individual fanfic writer needs to! And... and earlier, before this epilogue. When we would get Snapchat stuff of the story on Earth C. And even before that when all we had was the ending flash. There was still a FEAR on many parts that there was more to canon that Andrew wasn’t telling us, that whatever was in our imaginations about what may have happened was “wrong”, that any fanfic you wrote was liable to be disproven formally. But that’s not the case anymore. Because with that line, with alt!Callie sealing off this realm and taking just a last few soon-to-be canon-impactors out of one of its timelines, Andrew has left ALL of the earlier trappings of Homestuck, of Earth, of all these characters and ghosts and fragmented possibilities, permanently free from canon influence from the rest of time. Meaning no Homestuck fanfic that takes place in this singularity-granted realm may EVER be busted by Andrew’s future work. He’s done what he first aspired to do when he declared all fantrolls in existence canon. He’s finally “killed the author”. He’s made the very FACT of an author an enemy, to be pursued in its own canon story outside of all this. He’s set EVERYTHING free.

Wow. So that’s what all the point of all this was, huh? :D

Let me read the last few pages of Candy anyway. Where was I again?

Oh, about to click the last page. ==>

Oh my GOD. This Postscript is about the end of MEAT, where the Meat Postscript showed us the end of CANDY!!! :D

Let’s hear where this shit is all going! I’ve been wondering what realm Dirk is actually heading towards to try and start fucking up. Reading...

...Oh, okay. I thought I glimpsed someone mentioning something about Rose “doing Dirk’s laundry”, and I thought I just missed some narrative comment on laundry made when Dirk took Rose out of the apartment on that final trip out to Jake’s for a spaceship? But I guess this was the scene they were talking about. Fuck you, Dirk.

One of her more reckless shipmates chipped a tooth trying one, despite repeated warnings to stay away from the stuff.

So Terezi IS there? And probably received that final message from Vriska to think about.

It’s a stray ruby slipper. The other is about ten feet away, down the hall. No sign of their owner anywhere.

Yep, that’s definitely Terezi.

...Oh cool, Rose’s body isn’t quite dead? She could be returned to it or a souped-up version of it if she’s ever brought to her senses outside Dirk’s corrosive influence.

A new planet is within sensor range. She studies the millions of statistics all pouring in at once.

They’re heading for a planet? Somewhere else in Universe C?

It’s an M-Class planet. The right size, right age, right distance from the sun. There’s no advanced life yet. It’s exactly what they’ve been looking for all these years.

Shit, a NEW planet? For all this shit to go down on? Maybe I don’t need to see what happens next, that sounds potentially a little boring. The future adventure this story entails COULD just be implied and never followed up on.

Once the new race has established

What race??? Human, hybrid?? It’s not TROLL, y’all would have brought Aradia if that was the case, right? Or is this why there are tons of trolls in Universe C that Caliborn and Calliope’s parent trolls got to incinerate ages later, seeded across planets by these assholes?

The ones who get the chance to play what will arguably be the most important session in the history of Sburb?

Ahhh. Okay. So this may INDEED be something interesting, something worth seeing. A new session, one where Dirk is the villain, Rosebot is enthralled, and old heroes are on their way to help see him thwarted. Along with the mystery participants of a session we’ve yet to see.

Enough time goes by that she begins to wonder if he’s asleep. But no. It’s just the irritated silence of a man who knows he isn’t currently dressed well enough to attend to something important.

DIRK: Are my fucking pantaloons ready yet?

Yeah, fuck you and your anime pantaloons straight in the Yaois, Dirk Smartass.

Okay!

So that’s the end of the epilogue. BOTH epilogues. And... I like it.

I don’t know why. I mean it was all excellent before, and my stomach’s still a BIT clenchy, but I like it now. I misinterpreted things from the Meat ending, and now everything... everything makes a little more sense. Some things seem resolved, others earned...

And... in a way I feel like I could actually oddly accept, even if there’s never anything that touches on this ever again...

It doesn’t seem “over”. :)

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots #Barack Obama

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disregarding-reality · 5 years

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AUTHOR’S NOTES:

well that was a shit show

this is very much not the arc i wanted to give you guys, im really sorry for what came out. I had plans, Big Plans. None of which came to fruition. And that’s a shame. The only reason i can provide is that as soon as i started this arc i was assaulted by a wave of job offers the likes of which i had never seen yesteryear and so i had no idea how to respond to it. Past experience had shown me that to truncate an arc midway was worse than simply pushing through and finishing it, i am reconsidering that position, maybe the happy medium is not to truncate nor force it but rather to “pause” it. Reach the nearest climatic moment in the story and put a “to be continued”, i’ll keep that in mind next time that happens.

personal life

What have i been doing whenever i wasnt pushing my self to tell a story i had no real interest in telling you ask? besides working at a book store and a movie theater for the second time this year i was working my ass off in multiple different projects. You can tell i had learned nothing from hussie who profetically claimed that if he ever stopped working on homestuck to focus on other projects he would loose all momentum and the story would suffer for it. That is what happened here. i had about five different porjects keeping me busy, to boot:

1) the Bernardo Stamateas song which was completed and you can hear here

2) A videogame (coming in about 8 months from now)

3) A web serial (only the rough outlines for the story, actual writing will start somewhere next year and it’s going to be on spanish, sorry)

4) a super duper ultra secret project of which i cant speak of but as soon as is completed i will let you know all about it

5) the next arc of this comic (more on this later)

What happened with this story?

this was originally going to be a novel i wanted to write as a semi sequel to a story i wrote back in 2014, inspired as i was back then by pact, from wildbow, i wanted to give my own take on magic. As most things i’ve written the novel didnt go beyond the first chapter before i lost interest.

The character of the witch was an old imaginary friend my sister had invented. Fun fact: me and my sister had two imaginary worlds which we would engage in crossovers with and take ideas from all the time, and so while the witch was a friend in her world i had made her a villain in mine, because that was the kind of relationship we had as sibilings back then.

As time went on i kept working and reworking with the character and eventually i decided i wanted to incorporate her into the universe of disregarding reality. In my head the incorporation went really welll, i conected her with these and those moments with these and those other characters and i thought i had material for a really cool story there. The problem is that the story as originally envisioned was going to be a really slow burn cofeeshop AU character examination wherein we would see her grow and change through a very slow period of time.

But then when i was like ten pages in the story life started to happen really fast and suddenly i had like a million other obligations and a trip to thailand this december came up and i just lost courage to really commit to this story. Plust i didnt have a particularly interesting ending to this story that i cared to reach, and that is always important when it comes to motivating me to complete a story so... i lost interest. And as i kept forcing myself to draw page after page of a story i was no longer interested in i started to hate the story, plust the artstyle and the desing of the main character never quite convinced me and on top of all that i was coming right after a previous story arc which had been exhausting narratively speaking. This mess is the result.

what does all this wall of text and bitching amount to? be more careful when choosing what story im going to tell and be sure it will manage to hold my interest for a long period of time no matter what obligations or pauses come my way.

there is a lot more i would like to say about these characters and their story but this is getting on long enough and i have other things i want to adress.

The next arc

it’s...um. it’s going to be something else. It’s going to be different. I am 80% convinced 80% of you wont like it/wont get it. But i dont mind. After pushing myself to tell a story i was not interested in telling i had to allow my self a little self indulgence and that is why as i was making hexen snatch i was concurrently drawing the next arc as well. Now why i did that? why did i had to draw it simultanously? well, get ready: the next arc will be posted all at once. Eleven pages all in all.

I have my reasons for this and they will be explained once the arc is uploaded, im still working on it, havent quite finished it, but im getting there. The next arc should be published hopefully at some point in december. Im aming for christmas or new year. That is going to be my special little gift from me to you and me.

2019

after that... the future gets very tumultuous. i keep saying im going to launch a patreon and i keep postponing it because other shit keeps coming up. If im going to demand money on a monthly basis i want to make 100% sure i make no mistakes and i dont accidentally scam anyone or make any promises i wont be able to keep. But also i want to offer rewards that are bit more lofty that just copy pasting your name at the end of whatever im working on with a superfluous “thank you so much for your help from the bottom of my yadda yadda blah blah blah”

im working on that.

Im also reexamining the idea of wether i should continue this whole direction of “single narrative interconected universe bullshit” or if i should just get back to basics and make small self contained funny stories like it was at the beggining.

you can give me your two cents on this topic, let me know what would you prefer, this comic is for you guys to read and enjoy after all.

i think i made you read for long enough, like a recently deceased man said mutliple times in his soapbox:

‘nuff said.

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raerara · 6 years

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oH CHRIST I DIDN’T NOTICE THIS IN MY INBOX but tagged by @enikawamoriko <3

Rules: Answer the prompt and tag 20 blogs you would like to know better!

Nickname(s): rae, bob, bobbo, fucking furry,

Gender: Female :,)

Star sign: Virgo

Height: oh geez i haven’t measured my height in ages but i think it was 150cm the last time i checked? (im a dwarf i know)

Time: 10:57 AM (and im writing this post in school rn ;P)

Birthday: August 28

Favourite band/artists: Ariana Grande and Troye Sivan (the fact that they might have a collab song together in the future makes my bi heart really happy ??!!!)

Song Stuck In My Head: Heir of Grief from,,, homestuck,,,, (not really a song but music counts too ig)

Last Movie I Watched: does watching the last scenes of Kissing Booth only count?

Last TV Show I Watched: im pretttty sure it was Teen Wolf (i havent touched it or any other TV shows for that matter since like, the beginning of April or something)

What I Post: mostly just my art! Sometimes my shitty rambles or stray thoughts every now and then but mostly just my art

Do I Get Asks: every once in a while yeah, it’d be nice to get some now and then but i cherish everybody’s kind words <3

URL Meaning: i honestly just wanted a okay sounding username but rararae (and shraek) so i had to improvise. adapt. overcome and tada! raerara it was (((i dont know if i’ll change usernames but theres a possibility ;P)))

Average hours of sleep: ehhhh probably about 4 to 5 hours??

Nationality: Singaporean!

Not tagging anyone because im kinda lazy atm ;p so bippity bop you are now Tagged @ anyone seeing this

#rae talks shit

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living-lucid-dream · 6 years

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Happy 4/13!

It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything Homestuck-related. What better day to change that than today? What I’m trying to say is: here, have some random snippets from a maybe-sequel to Straw Soldiers.

> Vriska: Distress call

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AG: Terezi!!!!!!!! AG: Thank fuck you are online 8ecause I am having a serious crisis. AG: I’m talking all hands on deck, all points 8ulletin sort of 8ullshit. AG: Terezi? AG: Come on, will you SAY SOMETHING already? AG: This is an emergency and you are my only chance at keeping everything from going to complete shit. AG: I swear to god I am not exagger8ing when I say that I am fucking dying here!!!!!!!! GC: HUH GC: TH4TS STR4NG3 GC: MY NOS3 DO3S NOT D3T3CT 3V3N TH3 F41NT3ST WH1FF OF D3C4Y1NG FL3SH GC: 1T 1S P1CK1NG UP ON3 H3FTY P1L3 OF M3LODR4M4 THOUGH >:/ AG: OK, OK. So may8e I’m not dying right this second—8ut I will 8e if you don’t do something for me, and I mean pronto. GC: UH-HUH GC: 4ND WH4T 3X4CTLY 1S TH1S 4LL3G3DLY L1F3 S4V1NG M4N3UV3R YOU 3XP3CT M3 TO DO? AG: First, I need you to answer something for me. GC: OK, SHOOT AG: How long have we known each other, exactly? GC: 1 DUNNO GC: F1V3, S1X SW33PS? GC: WHY? AG: Five or six sweeps. Practically our whole lives! AG: I mean, 8y now we’re pretty much o8lig8ed to help each other out in times of dire need and you’ve got to know that I wouldn’t ask for help with anything unless I was really, truly desper8. GC: UGH, TH3 M3LODR4M4 GC: 1T BURNS! AG: Hey, I am 8eing totally serious! AG: Geeeeeeeez, Pyrope. I come here hoping to get a little help from my lifelong 8osom 8uddy and all you can do is give me a 8unch of salty attitude. AG: If that’s the way you’re going to 8e then may8e I won’t 8other to ask you for anything after all. GC: JUST T3LL M3 WH4T YOU W4NT AG: Now that’s the spirit! AG: All right. So the thing I’m going to ask you to do may not sound like much, 8ut 8elieve me it is a very 8ig deal. AG: I need you to talk some sense into Peixes for me. GC: >:? GC: 4BOUT WH4T? AG: Somehow she got it into her pan that it would 8e a good idea to make me go all the fuck 8ack to Alternia and pick up Tav8utt and wonder clown. AG: I’ve tried reasoning with her 8ut she is 8eing a stu88orn 8rat and pulling rank on me. GC: SORRY TO S4Y 1T BUT 1 F41L TO S33 HOW 4NY OF TH4T QU4L1F13S 4S L1F3 4ND D34TH AG: Trust me, it is. GC: HOW SO? AG: 8ecause I will die of 8oredom! AG: Can you even imagine me, stuck on a ship for god knows how long with no8ody 8ut Toreasnore and Gamzee for company? AG: 8oriiiiiiiing! AG: I mean, the two of them don’t have a pair of 8rain cells 8etween them! GC: 1 4M SUR3 YOU W1LL SURV1V3 AG: What? So you’re not going to do anything at all to help me???????? AG: I’ve seen you do some pretty ruthless shit, 8ut releg8ing your good friend to dork squad shuttle service? AG: That’s cold ::::( GC: 1 4M SUR3 1T WONT B3 TH4T B4D GC: B3S1D3S 1 TH1NK 1T W1LL B3 GOOD FOR YOU GC: GR34T FOR BU1LD1NG CH4R4CT3R 4ND 4LL TH4T J4ZZ AG: “8uilding character” my ass. You just want to see me suffer. GC: ME? N3V3R >;] GC: H4V3 4 S4F3 TR1P GC: OH, 4ND DON’T TORM3NT T4VROS TOO MUCH AG: You know I will ::::p

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

> Future Vriska: Distress call

arachnidsGrip [AG] opened memo EMERGENCY READ NOW!!!!!!!!

arachnidsGrip [AG] invited apocalypseArisen [AA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited twinArmageddons [TA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited carcinoGeneticist [CG] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited arsenicCatnip [AC] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited grimAuxiliatrix [GA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited gallowsCalibrator [GC] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited centaursTesticle [CT] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited caligulasAquarium [CA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited cuttlefishCuller [CC] to memo

AG: Come on, you useless 8unch of laya8outs! Get your asses in here! AG: Aaauuuuuuuugh! Where is every8ody???????? AG: Is this not getting through to any of you? AG: Fuck it, I can’t tell so I’m doing this regardless. AG: My ship has 8een attacked. AG: There have 8een losses and no, I am not detailing what those losses are right here 8ecause this is humili8ing enough as it is. AG: The long and short of it is: I’m stranded and I have no idea where the hell I am exactly 8ut I do know that I am drifting somewhere 8etween Earth and Alternia. AG: I am pretty sure I can safely classify the situ8ion as “in dire need of a relief shuttle right fucking now.” AG: Hello? AG: Is any8ody getting this???????? AG: Come on, some8ody ANSW8R ME, ALR8DY! AG: G8DDAMN 8T!!!!!!!!

arachnidsGrip [AG] left memo

> John: Pester Dave

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: dave! EB: you there, buddy? TG: yo EB: geez, you’ve been mia for like four days now. Where the heck have you been? TG: shit dude TG: ive been laying lower than a teenage mutant ninja turtle chilling in the new york sewer TG: slinking around like the stealth phantom lovechild of batman and solid snake EB: oh. so the paparazzi are after you too, huh? TG: yeah EB: that sucks. TG: eh TG: for a while i was thinking about mooning them just to see how hard they pissed themselves trying to go all national geographic on my ass TG: then i realized that there was like an eighty billion percent certainty that my ass would just end up getting trotted out on fucking tmz or some shit TG: now national enquirer TG: i would be down with seeing my ass on the front page of such a fine publication TG: but tmz TG: no way TG: daytime tv is not ready for the strider ass TG: so me and aradia gave them the slip and they fell for it harder than bambi on ice TG: havent seen one of those fuckers in almost a week now EB: lucky! they’re all over me and karkat. EB: seriously, it’s like a freaking lightning storm every time i open the front door! EB: it was kind of funny at first but now it’s just…ugh. EB: hey, wait a sec! EB: you said you were with aradia? what are you guys doing? TG: we are going full-on magical mystery tour to find all the weird ass dead things the good old usa has to offer TG: we already hit up the mutter museum TG: it was the shit TG: never saw so many dead things in jars all in one place TG: made my collection look like some messy amateur shit TG: like their stuff is triple black diamond pucker up and kiss your ass goodbye caliber and my stuff barely even qualifies as a bunny slope for toddlers TG: oh and aradia and i pooled our cash and adopted a skull because who doesnt want to say that they are the proud daddy of a newborn 200 hundred year-old skull EB: jesus, sometimes i forget how weird you guys are. TG: hey the strider cool cocktail might not go with everything but at least its never boring TG: anyways im pretty sure we are going to be creeping around your neck of the woods in a couple of weeks TG: we should hang if you and karkat are going to be around EB: cool! EB: we’ll be here. EB: unless karkat’s got one of his pt sessions. EB: but then we’ll be back in like two hours, so yes! we’ll be here. TG: speaking of vantas TG: how is shouty mcqueen doing these days TG: that guys been more elusive than a shiny pokemon since you guys got home EB: he’s fine. EB: he just has a hard time with typing. and tying his shoes. and…lots of things, actually. TG: shit TG: i thought they said his hands were fixed EB: depends on the they you’re talking to, i guess. EB: terezi brought him a new phone, though. EB: it has voice-to-text for english and alternian. EB: jade and sollux made it for him, or at least i think that’s what terezi said when she gave it to him. EB: my alternian still sucks so i’m not sure. EB: anyways we’re about to have breakfast now so i should probably go. TG: ok TG: later ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

> Future John: Pester Dave

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: dave! EB: are you there, buddy? EB: dave, come on. EB: this isn’t funny. EB: you’re really freaking me out here. EB: dave, please. EB: you need to answer me now! EB: jesus christ.

ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

> Future Karkat: Contact loving matesprit

carcinoGenticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [CG]

CG: OK, YOU’VE HAD YOUR FUN. CG: NOW WIPE THAT SHIT-EATING GRIN OFF YOUR FACE AND STOP THIS BULLFUCKERY RIGHT NOW. CG: I KNOW THIS DISTANCE MATESPRITSHIP THING SUCKS HARDER THAN THE MOTHER GRUB’S SLURRY ACCEPTING ORIFICE. CG: BUT IF THIS ISN’T WORKING FOR YOU THEN YOU NEED TO TELL ME INSTEAD OF, YOU KNOW, IGNORING ME FOR TWO WEEKS. CG: JESUS FUCK, TEREZI. CG: I’D EXPECT THAT SORT OF SHIT-RINSING PISSBABY WAY OF HANDLING THINGS FROM PAST ME BECAUSE PAST ME IS A PAIL-SWILLING FUCKWIT WITH THE FANTASTIC ABILITY TO MAGICALLY LOSE HIS GLOBES WHEN SHIT GETS REAL. CG: BUT NOT FROM YOU. CG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF YOU OR SOLLUX ARE ALIVE BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? CG: NEITHER ONE OF YOU HAVE DEIGNED TO SEND ME SO MUCH AS A “HI, KARKAT JUST POPPING A SQUAT TO SHIT OUT THIS TURD OF A MESSAGE SO YOU CAN STOP WORRYING THAT WE BOTH DID SOMETHING PAN-NUMBINGLY STUPID LIKE DROWN IN THE LOAD GAPER; TALK TO YOU LATER YOU FART-BRAINED IGNORAMUS.” CG: THERE. CG: SEE? CG: WAS THAT SO HARD? CG: HELPFUL HINT: EVEN THE FART-BRAINED IGNORAMUS WITHOUT FUNCTIONING OPPOSABLE THUMBS MANAGED IT IN A SPHINCTER-RANKLING 60 SECONDS. CG: I GET THAT YOU AND SOLLUX ARE BUSY ON FEFERI’S FREE THE HELMSMEN CRUSADE AND YEAH, IT’S KIND OF A BIG FUCKING DEAL. CG: AND I GET THAT COMPLAINING ABOUT IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A SELFISH, BULGE-FLAPPING ASSHOLE. CG: BUT BEING THE PARANOID FUCKTARD WHO SEES SUPER EXCITING TORTURE FUNTIMES WITH CONDESCE AND FRIENDS ON INFINITE REPEAT EVERY FUCKING TIME I CLOSE MY EYES, I’M STARTING TO GET THIS NUB-TICKLING IDEA THAT SOMETHING MIGHT BE WRONG. CG: I KNOW IT’S STUPID AND I’M PROBABLY STOMPING INTO PALE TERRITORY WITH A PAIR OF STEEL TOE COMBAT BOOTS WITH “FUCK YOU CAPTOR” EMBLAZONED ON THE TREADS BY SAYING IT, BUT THERE IT IS. CG: THE STINKING SHIT PELLET OF TRUTH HAS DROPPED AND IT CANNOT RETURN TO THE WASTE CHUTE FROM WHENCE IT WAS PINCHED. CG: TEREZI, PLEASE. CG: JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

CarcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

> to be continued...(?)

#Homestuck #4/13 #Straw Soldiers #Homestuck fanfiction #Vriska #Terezi #John Egbert #Dave Strider #Karkat #Wow pesterlog formatting looks terrible on tumblr #it may not be 4/13 anymore for most of you out there #but there's still one hour left in my neck of the woods #so this still counts!#my stuff #my fic

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