#i hold that belief anyways

[queerprayers]

i want to say first of all that i fully respect a community's/denomination's/culture's right to have closed practices. i am not entitled to other people's traditions, and when i am a guest in a space i understand that everything is not automatically for me. and i know i do not have to understand to respect.

and also! when i go to a catholic church and can't receive communion i want to fall on the floor weeping. what do you mean i can't have him he's right there. sorry my baptism was the wrong kind of baptism. i'm hungry and you want me to become someone else before being fed.

#lutheran alert but will NEVER understand closed communion. i respect it. but i do not get it #none of us will ever be holy enough to hold jesus within us but we do every day anyway. and so we are #communion is what brings me to god. to put a barrier of entry on that. to say you have to believe certain things or be in a certain state? #idk it doesn't sit right with me. #again i respect it i have catholic family ik the beliefs/history/good intentions. #but i need to come out as an open communion fan #roman catholicism didn't exist yet at the last supper. jesus said do this in remembrance of me. #everyone who does this has already fulfilled the requirements to be present at the table #i think that was the only hard part of my grandfather's conversion. that he could break bread for me at the altar but couldn't give it to m #i would give anything to watch him preach one more time (he's retired/sick now) #but more than that i would give anything to be fed by him again. to eat with him as our lord commanded #just once. #i will have to be satisfied with the foretastes of the feasts to come that i have received from/with him. we'll have that again

[eerna]

"why did Orpheus turn to check if Eurydice is there if he can just return to Hadestown if Hades really did lie about letting her go" that's the thing. he can't. the only reason he can enter Hadestown without taking Hades' deal/dying is because the lalalas open the way for him. Eurydice only gave him a chance after he showed her the power of the lalalas. and in Doubt Comes In, his lalalas no longer work - twice he tries to call on them, and twice he fails. he has lost the ability to wield their magic because he stopped believing their power can change the world. if he leaves Hadestown and Eurydice isn't behind him, she will well and truly be gone forever. of course he turns around. of course he can't take those final few steps out of the Underworld without making sure the lalalas worked.

#hadestown liveblog #listening to doubt comes in west end bootleg on repeat and going AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #very much in the same vein as ''why should orpheus trust hades''. it's not about him trusting HADES it's about him believing in his mission #and holding true to his beliefs. THOSE are the things he betrayed. he was supposed to believe hades would fall under his influence. #and hades DID!! but orpheus no longer believed he could hold power over a king. #he was no longer the boy who noticed hades looking at eurydice and placed himself between them as if he could protect her. #WHICH IS WHY I AM ANNOYED THAT THEY TURNED IT INTO A JOKE. LIKE. BRO. it is supposed to be IMPRESSIVE. you're supposed to be like #''oh damn orpheus you're so brave???'' but no broadway turned it into a haha ''look at this pathetic kid defying hades'' moment #ANYWAY. ORPHEUS I LOVE YOU.

[cruelsister-moved2]

im sooooo sick of neopagans thinking they invented stuff that literally every religion thats not modern american evangelicalism already has 💀 i dont care if u want to light candles in ur bedroom or whatever, but even when youre swinging at “normie” religions ur still missing like okay catholics LOVE altars. jewish liturgy celebrates moon cycles. whatever youre trying to articulate about an all encompassing divinity of universal love was probably said in verse by a persian muslim centuries ago. your american christian/atheist background is a huge outlier in the global history of religion: it’s not even that you’re missing some niche exception, it’s literally that your entire perspective on “organised religion” is based on an outlier 💀

#this woman being like wicca is awesome because it doesnt teach fire and brimstone to children. #okay. good news about how many religions believe in the fire and brimstone concept. #and wicca is a funny example because its so infamously like. culturally appropriative and downright racist #like i agree it does less harm than evangelicalism but thats just because it does less of anything...... #it's more of a hobby than a religion #+ belief in the supernatural is both subjective + literally only one of like 8 markers of religiosity that sociologists study #fixation on that in particular ltierally stems from the UNIQUELY faith-based and exclusive model of xtianity #anyway this is why i believe in religious educationand w the additional benefit of learning abt other religions might help xtians of certain #stripes to realise how like abnormally fucked up their communities are #also most neopaganism is literally xtianity-jesus like the underlying concepts are so christian but theyll still be like fuck those #abrahamic religions. like okay you honestly are just an xtian holding an incense stick what does this have to do with me

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.

The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.

"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."

And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.

Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.

That person was a child.

I was a child.

It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.

I'm not ashamed.

I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.

I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.

If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.

#started anti depressants recently. kinda had an epiphany. i can't hate who i was. if i met me now i wouldn't blame that tiny child #for their rancid beliefs or for being dragged to protests. because thats a CHILD. i HAVE met kids in that position and i feel nothing but #pity and anger on their behalf. so why am i holding that version of myself to a higher standard? #i could not have known what i know now at 6 or 8 or 10. the same way that i could not have written a college level essay at that age #but i did what i could. in my own 8 y/o way. i believed in love and humanity and happiness. i was just misguided in the 'hows' of it all #and i am so so so so so proud. of every single microscopic step that i took. every question i asked. every thought that i hid and protected #and pondered secretly at night until new ideas and doubts bloomed like a dandelion through the pavement #and I'm so proud that i chased that doubt. that i asked why why why why until their ears bled and their voices were raw #until their answers stopped adding up. until i sought knowledge elsewhere with a mind dehydrated and malnourished and begging for knowledge #in any form i could get. i just. if i could hug that kid? if i could right now reach out and give that terrified and lonely child a hug? #i would. a million times over. #anyway sorry for the intense personal rant I'm just going through it rn and I'm like.... actually feeling alright #its wild. did you guys know about this??? anti depressants make you NOT depressed??? shits insane fam #irl #personal

[blueskittlesart]

POST MORE SWORD OF FATE PLS IM BEGGING

i have very little in terms of actual art LMAO but i CAN explain the sword thing because i checked and i did in fact never make this plot point public. i struggled for a while with creating a villain for this story until i realized that. i put "sword" in the title of the game. of course it has to be about the fucking sword. DUH.

so i want SOF to deal very heavily with religion, specifically the way in which hyrule's religion forms post-sksw but pre-reincarnation. i've placed it on the timeline directly after sksw, making it the first actual reincarnation in hyrule. what this means is that there's no actual proof yet that the reincarnation thing is real and not just an insane bluff on demise's part, and so several key characters including link and zelda barely believe in hylia or demise at all when the story starts. my thought with this setting's version of ganon is that he's the polar opposite of the nonbelievers. The gerudo don't really exist as of now, but he DOES come from the desert region of hyrule--specifically, he was raised in a cultlike offshoot of the sheikah religion which interpreted the hylia/demise myth completely literally and believes that a doomsday is coming, heralded by the foretold return of demise. Because of this, he knows more about the cycle and how to set it in motion than basically any other character. Crucially, he and his people are some of the only ones at this point aware of the existence of the master sword.

ganon finds. a sword. a sword which he THINKS is the master sword. and this theory is only reinforced when the sword begins to speak to him about his destiny and the salvation of hyrule. unfortunately it is not the master sword and he ends up basically a pawn in the greater plans of what's left of demise & ghirahim within that sword, manipulated into attempting to revive demise and destroy the reincarnated hero and princess. he remains in denial until basically the very end of the final battle, completely convinced that he is the true savior of hyrule and LINK is the one being misled. ghirahim is a very good manipulator lol

#i know that the sword like dies with demise in sksw or whatever but this is my game and i can do whatever i want so ive decided it survives #because i need a plot device. ok. work with me here #asks #loz: sword of fate #anyway the religion thing is something that i really wanted to explore bc it fascinates me. bc obv in later cycles everyone believes #because they KNOW its true and have like. historical evidence of it. but what about the first few times it happened? post-sksw they had no #way of knowing if demise would make good on his promise or not. i can see belief vs nonbelief being a very strong dividing factor among #early hylians. its fascinating to me. lol #anyways zelda specifically fully believes that the hylia shit was made up by her great great grandparents or whatever as a power grab lmao #link is kinda like whatever. sure the goddess exists i guess ill pray to her sometimes but like did she actually found hyrule? probably not #and ganon and his people are HARDCORE believers. like to-the-letter. because of this they have one of the most historically accurate #accounts of hyrule's founding (which no one BELIEVES is accurate at this point. but it is) and have managed to hold onto records of both #the master sword and demise when society at large has basically either forgotten or decided to ignore them #wow. i forgot how fun sof is to write about. holy shit

[goldkirk]

it’s so scary and so freeing to just be a person.

#the discovery and fulfillment of my curiosity as I go #trying to scientific observational field researcher my way through discovering #What Existence Includes #while I’m in this state to experience it #it’s like being back to my very youngest days before I started learning the major rules #when I was just sensation and experience and curiosity #making sense / making an ongoing story of the world and time itself as it flies past #personal #cult escapee #katie.txt #past me: thank you thank you thank you for holding on through the nightmare. thank you for riding out the huge world-ending pain. thank you #it was worth it it was worth it #of course it isn’t perfect but I SAID it’d be better within a few years didn’t I? #you signed up for this you made the commitment when you knew. #you tried allowing yourself to trust yourself again for the first time since age 7 or so. #you knew you couldn’t hold it all up front for that long if you were gonna survive transplanting yourself like an organ. #you knew you’d be giving up a lot. and you did it anyway because you were brave and you cared that much about how very very little you #deserved better for her world #and here you are. and here we are. #you told the therapist ‘of course not!!!’ so instantaneously and so full of belief. so dead sure on deep reflex that you could NEVER #trust yourself in a million years because even if the supernatural surveillance state wasn’t real and you didn’t have innate evilness #just from the Doctrine Is Saying So #where was I going with this. I’m typing tags on mobile and it’s religious for me but it’s also impossible as a ui #anyway my POINT WAS: it is so hard and so scary but it’s like walking into the world of Sesame Street for real. #you were right. it IS good to be alive. the whole thing all the way through is a bewildering baffling marvel. you’re ok to be delighted #about it and marvel at how wild it is that there’s so much about it all and so many things to see and think and meet and feel and do during #our spans of time #no matter what came before or what might come next #what a goddam marvel of it all. ain’t it just the strangest thing of all that we’re alive. what a marvel. what an absolutely magnificent hit #existence is an absolute absurdity

[movedtodykedvonte]

Another interesting thing about the chase scene with Miles and all the other spiders is he never puts his mask back on until he’s about to go home.

The entire time he is running away as Miles cause he was rejected by the society on the basis of being Miles, the anomaly, not the Spider-man. Not cause he didn’t wear the mask correctly but on the arbitrary basis that he wasn’t supposed to be the one wearing it. The exact opposite of what being Spider-man is supposed to represent.

All the Spidermen that are eventually on his side have their masks off the entire time denoting a sense of personalness to the chase and their relation to Miles; coming to him as friends rather than Spiderpeople doing their duty. How they see him for he is, face to face and who he can be with that mask even if they aren’t quite at that point during the chase. It’s a notable contrast to all the Spidermen with covered faces who are just following orders and acting as Spidermen, even Miguel. It’s only at the end when Miguel makes it clear that this is more personal with Miles, when they are face to face, when his mask truly starts coming off and he is acting in the interest of Miguel rather than that of a Spider-man.

I think it’s a really clever way to show how it’s not important whose under the mask but at the same time noting how whose under the mask makes the Spider-Man and how they choose to uphold that mantle. Miles made up how he was going to do that at the end. Rejecting the society as Miles and returning as his own Spider-Man.

#like whenever Miguel talks to miles with the mask off it’s super personal but when he puts it on he’s sorta subdued #there’s a way Spider-Man acts but that doesn’t not apply to the person under it yet it can bleed into Spiderman #The entire time Migue is sorta trying to force a separation of those two things and forcing Miles to be Spider-Man first and Miles second #the mask allows you to hold the name but that’s about it it’s all determined by what’s underneath it #plus it makes miles seem more genuine and personable because we are seeing Miles go through these revelations not the hero #a scared boy running to save his dad under the mantle he believe would fight for it #while thousands of his own mask untied under his same beliefs try to say he can’t #anyway i should sleep #atsv #across the spiderverse #itsv #spiderverse #miles morales #miguel o'hara #atsv spoilers #into the spiderverse #across the spiderverse spoilers

[fortheturnstiles]

had an absolute whirlwind of an afternoon in class today finding out my film professor is not only a neil young fan but a monkees fan. and like a real die hard michael nesmith guy . isn’t that wild. and i never would have known if i hadn’t brought up the monkees in a conversation that was not about them because i’m a crazy person. he also brought up chrome dreams which completely sent me into the stratosphere i just love music and i love people who love music and that we can share that together as people . isn’t it wonderful. that’s why we’re all here isn’t it

#originally prompted by a comment someone was making about the eagles being the ‘first boy band’ ie constructed by record company people/ #not an organically formed band #and i was like Well hold on. they weren’t the first one #then things went to dylan bc of man in me on the big lebowski soundtrack which was greeted with some grumbling from #my peers about dylan’s influence and importance in american music #which is. i’m sorry i know art is subjective and you can dislike bob it’s fine. but you can’t deny the truth he’s an important guy #also there might be something of his work that you may end up liking. if you tried it out #anyways he also brought up head1968 being a great movie and i was like THATS WHAT IM SAYING!!! YOU GET IT!! #this tangent pretty much concluded in the monkees are Everywhere in american music and film history and culture. there is no escaping them #which is one of my core beliefs so i’m glad to know my professor is on that wavelength #you never know who may be a monkees fan

[badolmen]

Not to be extreme but dear God hold onto hope.

Things will be better one day. People will sing and dance in colorful clothes under dazzling lights again. A parent will rock their child to sleep on a quiet night again. A grandparent will teach their grandchild to cook a family recipe again. People will laugh and cry and love and grieve in the most mundane of ways once more. This will happen no matter what you believe, but hoping and believing in such things will ease your heart and kindle your resolve to see it within your lifetime. Have hope, and you will give life to the world you hope to see.

#ra speaks #personal #current events #okay to reblog btw it’s easy to fall into despair with the news of late but do not surrender your hope #hey so like. had a kinda bad breakdown last night. for personal reasons and *gestures* my deep rooted sense of justice as an autistic human #and I saved the first line of this post as a draft while crying at 10 PM #and not much has changed today but. I am secure in my hope for a better world. my belief in justice for those wronged. #maybe not tonight. maybe not tomorrow. but soon - one day - I will see celebrations of life and love and home for a people torn asunder #I can’t do much. I want to do more than sit safe and cry out for those who have lost their voices to the violence #I’m angry. I’m grieving. but most importantly I’m imbued with hope and love. it’s the least I can do. #and most days it will be all I can do. and should the opportunity arise to do more I will take hold of it with both hands until it burns me #the very same way hope now burns in my heart with the complete conviction that there will be justice and reckoning for these crimes #anyways. my blood sugar is low I forgot to eat dinner. have hope and feed it with the anger and grief you cannot act on now. #vocational woes

[skyward-floored]

Oh no I just remembered the Zelda movie is a thing

#or going to be a thing anyway #uuuaaauauughg #I hold to my belief that they should base it off alttp #rambles from the floor

[madokasoratsugu]

dr stone is so funny bc its literally giving the most traumatised people on earth the chance to rebuild the world and what do you know it, they choose eugenics and tyranny (aka nearly all antagonists). the only downside to the series (which also happens to be a hilarious upside) is that we dont know anything about most character's backstories so we're just left to assume that they're murderous trigger happy loons just because ?? a literal let gays do crime moment except the crime is serial murders of underage children

#dr stone #this post is about stanxeno (but also tsukasa and hyoga and like...nearly all antags LOL) #but i really like thinking that the only reason senku and the kingdom of science can still believe so wholeheartedly in humanity #is a sort of teenage innocence that cannot be replicated and will erode with time/experience #which is what happened with xeno + stanley and tsukasa #im not condoning murder of teens i am just saying #there is a sort of unfounded belief in humanity that you only truly hold in your childhood to teen years #that is so pure and untarnished that you would do anything for it #and you either hold onto it despite the world (ukyo) or youre worn out and jaded by the world (xeno) #kinda wish they expanded more on this tbh....the philosophy behind altruism and the pains of growing up and understanding an imperfect worl #and realising your helplessness against it #but having the desire to rise up and believe in humanity despite so #anyway im having Thoughts and procrastinating on drawing LOL

[s1ld3n4f1l]

dingaling had to make buzzo and lisa's relationship unhealthy cause he knew that if they weren't they'd be unstoppable.

#lisa rpg #buzzo #lisa #im thinking bout them again guys #theyre so #bites and mauls and tears and cries and screams #slash positive #im listening to will wood in case i make it and grrrr they're so screams #becoming the lastnames + thats enough lets get you home #in my domestic au of course because its all i thinkabout #i like exploring the characters and getting them out of the traumatic situation I feel like is a good way to do that. #though you could argue against that #who cares im having fun #anyways i also like happy endings so. #oh btw buzzo is transfem. this has nothing to do with the post but its a belief I hold dear to my heart and I wrote this post in that idea. #all her problems are because of The Horrors and also her egg is uncracked

[saintbanglesthegazelle]

I promise you if you give people the benefit of the doubt, if you assume ignorance or misunderstanding instead of malice, if you make the effort to give and recieve clarity, if you listen to people's thoughts and explanations, you will see the world as so much less cruel than you had before. So much more loving. It's not easy, but it's so so important to do, for yourself and others

#bangles' post #this is about my dad #who last week had invalidated my chosen name as a not-real name and sought my permission to use my deadname when talking to the older gen #and today sat down with me to talk about my chosen name and what it means to me. he really sought to understand why i chose it #and he then not only apologised for misunderstanding the value of my name and for invalidating it #but also explicitly reassured me that im allowed to tell him if hes wrong #which is huge for him. hes never invited correction on something lile this before - something that he feels is a matter of principle #ie chosing a name with importance and meaning and serious intent #hes not perfect. he still holds dated beliefs that he hasnt truly examined or even allowed himself to question. #hes never been particularly emotional available or even very present in my daily life #but he is trying. and he does want to be better #and if both of us had given eachother the benefit of the doubt we could have had a much better conversation about my name #but still. talking about now its clear that he does genuiningly want whats best for me. he just needs to know that #im taling myself seriously enough that the ways he tries to help will actually be helpful #im rambling. anyway #give people the benefit of the doubt. i promise its worth it

[terfyonic]

the infighting about witchcraft on radblr thats been going on for days now is so insane. in the 70s the CIA had to pay agitators to get this kind of result...

#like gyns there is a real world outside and there are activist movements in YOUR AREA to get involved in <3 #average tumblr user when someone holds personal beliefs that they dont share 😡😡😡😡 #like be so fucking real rn nobody is suggesting replacing feminist praxis with witchcraft it's just an added consciousness raising extra #anyway vvitchscum i will defend you in the trenches

[akkivee]

absolutely in love with the narrative that, similar to the way dice gets, this whole time otome’s been on a gambler’s high since she’s been on a roll with all that she’s gambled away and that the off arc is where her luck runs out because she didn’t know when to quit, also similar to how dice gambles 😭😭😭

#this is vee speaking #the most fun thing about hypmic is how the way people parallel each other gives them all depth man 😭😭😭😭 #like the way everyone with parents issues all wind up very similar to their parents anyway (ichiro samatoki dice kuukou) #but that also in turn reflects what troubles said parents are facing #(rei feeling like he’s weak for not being able to protect his wife otome high on freedom) #on this vein i’ve been looking at the ‘kuukou’s adopted’ thought #thru the lens that he and dice also parallel in the sense that they were given up by their mothers #like i previously thought kuukou and dice paralleled because they’re both sheltered kids who grew up under high expectations #and maybe that still holds true!!!!! but i was wondering if the more direct parallel might be ‘given up by their parents’ #hence why kuukou is also of the belief that ‘the only reason a man should cry is because their family is dead’ #shakku consoled kuukou being given up by telling him this and it serves the same purpose as samatoki telling ichiro the same #there’s still a chance kuukou could meet her so there’s no point in crying thing #and that’s what i mean by they all parallel and it enriches them!!!!! 😭😭😭😭 #i kinda wanna take it a step further and say team kuukou are bound by being passed around as kids #since we don’t know who raised juto afterwards and all three share youth delinquency #but that’s just my hcs for juto’s backstory coming in play lol #c: otome #c: daisu #c: kuukou👑

[i-am-become-a-name]

"Narvin, by picking up the sextant you risked your life. Your only life."

"Of course, and I'd do it all over again. Leela, I- I-"

"I know. I also know you want to ask me a question, and you know my answer - I cannot."

"I think I've known all along."

"If it was not this way, I would come with you. But Romana only lives while I serve. While we are apart... you are no longer alone, Narvin. "

"No. No, I'm not. None of us are. "

#i will kiss them on the mouths #they are just so well written....... so impeccably acted......... #the words not said and the question not asked but still answered....... #none of them were ever alone. ace is over narvin's shoulder. teasing him every time he grumbles about their tardis. #leela in his ear the voice of impulsivity and honesty and the better person she has left him #romana and her leadership. her beliefs that hold him up. that he leans upon after he began to trust her as president #anyway. ended up listening to 3 out of 4 gallifrey war room boxset 1 oops #i just wanted to hear the reunion then ended up listening to all of them except the passenger #gallifrey #leela #narvin #/god/ the collar buzzing in the background of that huge leela speech. she must be in agony #hit me up is it while we are apart or well we are apart?? because well would be like though we are apart and while is (for the time) we are #apart. and I can't hear the difference in pronunciation. I've changed it to and fro twice now but it's bothering me.