#everyone who does this has already fulfilled the requirements to be present at the table | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

de-profundis-ad-astra · 3 years

Text

Next Chapter | Project Masterlist

Word Count || 3.5k Author’s Note || These first two excerpts I’ll be posting aren’t exactly chapters, but they’re not quite a prologue either--primarily because of their length. But it’s an introduction to the story and the world and the characters nonetheless. After these first two parts the excerpts will be much shorter; I can’t be giving you all the information about the project ;)

Anyway, enjoy!

Kerri Stevens gripped the edges of the lectern and braced herself for a fight.

“We are on record for review of disciplinary case D08-493214. Please present yourself for the panel,” said a man in a charcoal gray suit, his voice echoing through the spacious, mostly-empty chamber.

From their perch at the elevated, curved table, the four members of Kerri’s disciplinary panel had her well and truly surrounded. The looks on their faces suggested they, too, were here for a battle. Calling upon every ounce of confidence she had, Kerri straightened and faced down the panel of suits.

While it certainly was not her favorite place to be, if she was here, it meant her prison sentence was about to come to an end at last.

The high-ceilinged council chamber was all but a new environment to Kerri. At first glance, it appeared warm with expensive wood paneling tastefully integrated with the modern interior and well-lit atmosphere. She knew, though, that looks did not match the grim nature of several meetings held here. Her job had called her to Austin, Texas frequently as a representative of her region for new inductions, retirements, and the occasional, dreaded, dishonorable discharge. Today, the chamber was empty, save for Kerri, the panel, and a lone guard standing near the only entrance into the room. Whatever was said today would be for her ears, and her ears only.

Drawing a deep breath, she willed her racing heart to slow, and answered, reciting the words she’d been rehearsing over and over again to herself since that morning. “Kerri Lynn Stevens. Call number: 493087. Codename: Foxtrot. May it please the panel, I move to present a defense.”

“If we were interested in hearing a defense, Agent Foxtrot,” another voice, this one from the center of the panel, chimed in, “we would have called for a hearing less than thirty-six hours after the initial infraction.” Kerri’s handler, Director Lawrence Ward, closed one of the buttons on his immaculately tailored midnight blue suit. “Not wait three months.”

Kerri gestured towards the first speaker of the meeting. “As Director of the Southern Reach, it was Director Shaw’s decision to authorize such a severe consequence without providing me with an opportunity—”

“The motion was decided outside of your presence, Agent,” Director Shaw dismissed with a wave of his hand. “We will not be hearing a defense.”

Kerri said, “I followed every directive from the panel without requesting an audience for three months when probationary periods, historically, have been half that or less. Does that not merit an explanation? Or a chance to present my side of the story?”

Director Ward lifted a hand before Shaw could respond. “Why do you push so hard for this motion, Agent?”

Kerri leaned into the podium, the quick flex it required of her muscles stimulating the blood flow necessary to cool the burn that seeped into her muscles from inactivity. “It’s never been denied in the past.”

Bracing his forearms on the long table, Director Ward leaned forward and regarded Kerri through narrowed eyes. “So you would assume that we should continue to follow protocol down to the letter, even when you, yourself, seem to think you are above such things?”

Kerri swiftly backpedaled, “I never meant to assume—”

Director Shaw bade her to be quiet. “The panel determined that your continuing disregard for expected conduct in the field was grounds for increased severity of disciplinary action. We will cover the specifics at the designated time. Concerning your defense: your obedience to directives as a result of your ongoing behavior warrants you no such privilege.”

Kerri’s mouth opened and closed several times over, searching desperately for a response but finding none. None that would be to her benefit, at least. The cavernous room remained unvoiced for another moment, the fluttering of turning papers from the panel filling the void before they turned back to her. She sought out Director Ward for solace, but found none in the hard lines of his face.

She said directly to her handler, “Director—”

“This is a review of your disciplinary case, and nothing more,” said the woman to the right of Director Shaw. Her nameplate identified her as Adeline Kim, Director of Active Agent Relations. “We are not here to listen to your agenda.”

Kerri bristled. “If helping others sounds like an agenda to you—”

“You broke protocol to fulfill needs that were not pertinent to your direct orders, Agent, did you not?”

Kerri, desperate to get a word in edgewise, huffed, “I’d say they had some relevance.”

“Now is not the time to play Devil’s Advocate, Agent. Did you, or did you not, break protocol?”

Everyone already knew the answer to that question, which made it redundant and, most infuriatingly, unproductive. Time and time again, the panel seemed to think that making Kerri confront and acknowledge her disobedience in the field would prevent her from putting herself in this position again. And yet they always seemed to find themselves here, each side waiting for the other to relent only for nothing to change. They were better than this. She was better than this.

She had taken accountability for her actions. Just not the way they might have wanted her to.

Kerri clamped down on her tongue before she could say any of that out loud. Doing so would only put herself at greater risk for more punishment. She strangled her features into neutrality, straightening her back as she faced down the panel of directors.

It was futile to hope that she could hide her true intentions here. Everyone here knew her secrets without her having to open her mouth.

Which meant lying would be pointless.

“I did.” Kerri squared her shoulders and stood with as much authority as she could muster before the imposing panel.

Kerri had been in this position enough times to know that controlling the room was a hopeless endeavor. So she clung desperately to what she knew she could control.

Director Ward pressed, “How, precisely, did you breach protocol?”

Kerri masked her groan with a sigh. “I deviated from the mission plan.” She stuck to the facts. “It was not a misinformed decision. I did it of my own free will.”

As she said it, Kerri looked towards the remaining member of the panel. Director Rachelle Frost had supervised her training during her earliest days in Legion. If there was anyone who could vouch for her, it would be Frost. The look she gave Kerri was unreadable before she made a note on her legal pad. Kerri felt her confidence wane at the gesture.

Ward’s voice called her back to the present. “And this, deviation, was to interfere with bystanders, correct?”

“I specialize in defense,” Kerri replied. “Shouldn’t my priority be the wellbeing of the people we’ve sworn to protect?”

“We aren’t looking for your mission statement, Agent. Answer the question.”

That was it.

Kerri snapped, “If by interfere you mean assist with the evacuation of a collapsing building, then yes, the deviation involved dealing with bystanders.”

“Do you understand the risks associated with your actions, Agent?” Director Kim sounded as exasperated as Kerri felt.

Averting eye contact, Kerri drummed her fingers against the underside of the lectern. “Yes, Director,” she said through a wired jaw.

“Elaborate for us, please.”

It was as if they wanted to humiliate her.

“Because my actions have again put Legion at risk of exposure.” She resented how robotic her voice sounded as she delivered the answer.

“Again.”

Director Ward’s voice was a low force. Kerri’s stomach tightened, the sensation drowning out the otherwise distracting thought of whether she’d have been able to hear him if she’d elected to not wear her hearing aids that morning. What was worse was the way he said it as if he was embarrassed on her behalf. Embarrassment which then transferred to Kerri. Clenching everything from her jaw to her knees, Kerri began keeping count of her deep, even breaths.

Director Kim said, “This is your fifth offense of this caliber in the past five years you’ve served in this capacity. Legion cannot continue under this pattern, nor can we afford to keep erasing any documentation of you every time you wander in front of a camera.”

“This manner of conduct can be forgiven once, maybe twice,” added Director Shaw. “The only reason you are still standing here is because Alpha has determined that you are more of an asset than a liability when you do follow directives. She is concerned that the scales may be tipping out of your favor. This kind of behavior is unacceptable from someone in your position.”

“All due respect,” Kerri said, “but are those who share my rank not expected to make challenging decisions when faced with a crisis?”

“Those who share you rank, Agent Foxtrot,” Ward countered, “are expected to make those challenging decisions in order to see their missions accomplished. Not go out of their way to get caught on camera.”

“So you would stand by and watch innocent people die over something they can’t control?”

“Agent!”

The moment she said it, Kerri knew she’d crossed a line. But the blatant disregard for human life was something she refused to stand for.

Director Kim said, “People die in the name of the greater good frequently, Agent—”

“Not if they don’t know what they’re dying for!”

“And you must understand that there is nothing we can do to change that!”

Kerri went silent, absolutely stunned at the ignorance of the panel. Was there anything she could say to remind them that what she had done was good? Perhaps against instructions, perhaps dangerous. But those whom she’d saved from an untimely death or lifelong physical ailments might have told a different story.

Though three months had passed, she still remembered clearly how it’d felt to be inside that building—wood crackling and popping all around her, her eyes streaming from the onslaught of smoke, sparks and tongues of flame licking against her hands when she reached for a trapped child. Heat filling her lungs until she thought she might burn from the inside out. But most importantly, the frightened screams and cries from others. Frantic coughing and hacking from those without proper protection. The terror etched into their faces… and then relief. Relief that, because of her, not all was lost.

Yes, she understood that she could not keep everyone she came into contact with from dying. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t try. It was her duty, the duty her employer, to try.

That was the Legion she’d signed up for. The tales of daring heroism, the best of the best fighting for peace, woven for her by her father on the balmy Texas nights. Not… this political mess.

Ward’s voice cut through her thoughts. “Do you understand, Agent Foxtrot?”

Despite her efforts, she could not wrest back the memory that took her back to fire and rot and decay and the crushing guild that she could not save them all.

No. She did not understand why she faced punishment after punishment for doing the right thing.

Letting out a long breath, Kerri forced herself to nod. “I understand, Director. I will improve my conduct where it is necessary.”

“Make sure those improvements align with your code of conduct, not your personal morals,” Ward sniped.

In a perfect world, those two might have overlapped. But they hadn’t hired Kerri for her morals, apparently, just her ability to shoot straight and win in a fight. She stared straight ahead and strangled the urge to scowl at her handler.

“Commitments to improve are well and good,” said Director Shaw, “however, this panel is not in a position to turn you loose and trust you to not cause any more problems.”

“What can I do about this?”

“Ward.”

Director Ward pushed a slim, manila colored folder to the edge of the table. The motion drew her attention to where he sat. Her gaze flickered back and forth between the file and her handler’s face, which was still heavily shrouded with an emotion she could not entirely place.

She felt her heartbeat thrum over her body. Another assignment? So soon after being cleared?

His hand remained flat over the cover of the folder. “You swore an oath to support and defend our corporation. To bear allegiance to us and no others. Do you still swear it?”

Anxiety—equally powerful and equally terrible—filled Kerri’s chest. “I do.” She forced her voice to remain steady.

“You swore to serve as a living example of this organization’s philosophies and beliefs and to uphold these values at all times. You took this obligation freely and of your own accord. Do you still swear it?”

Freely. Of her own accord. “I do.”

“Do you swear to give yourself wholly to this assignment and swear to complete the request of its commissioner?”

“I do.”

Ward removed his hand from the file and said, “You may approach the table, Agent Foxtrot.”

Slowly, Kerri stepped around the podium and approached the panel with slow, stiff steps. What normally might have filled her with a sense of honor and duty was now tainted with doubt and uncertainty. She felt acutely aware of every pair of eyes on her, burning hotter and hotter with each step that took her closer to the table. Ward gave a small nod as she took the file. She quickened her pace as she walked back to the podium and settled the file against it, eager to be as far away as possible from the ones who held her fate in their hands.

Flipping open the folder, Kerri was immediately faced with the image of a smiling woman. Her skin was pale, smooth, which brought out the green of her eyes and the mane of bright red curls framing her attractive face.

She turned the page over, and found in the following pages little information outside of basic information and demographics about the stranger. The panel waited, scrutinizing every action as Kerri skimmed the folder.

“What’s the assignment?” asked Kerri after finding nothing indicating why, precisely, she was looking at this woman.

“This,” said Director Ward, “Is your newest target.”

Kerri’s stomach flipped. She knew precisely what that meant.

Almost four years had passed since her last commission for an assassination in her five year career. Overall, she’s only ever completed two. One as a part of her initiation trials to earn her Name, and a second one year later. Both had left a bad enough taste in Kerri’s mouth that she’d requested to only be assigned to them if it was a last resort. Shockingly, Legion had obliged her. It seemed it was time to break that streak.

But she imagined they’d start her out with something small, quiet. Literally anything but an assassination.

She had to tread carefully, moving forward. Everyone was on edge. “All due respect,” she said slowly, “but perhaps this is a job better suited for someone not just cleared to re-enter the field.”

“We don’t have the time to call in another Named Agent to an area already occupied by one.” A beat passed during which Ward rubbed his chin. “I expected more enthusiasm from you about being put on a job.”

“I am honored by the panel’s show of trust in giving me an assignment with such a high degree of urgency.” Kerri looked down at the photograph inside the cover of the folder. Her target’s smile was so broad, so unlike the headshots from her previous assassinations which contained scowls and frowns. She looked, shockingly, friendly. “But what has Charlotte Moore done to earn a hit from us?”

Indeed, there was nothing in the file indicating that Charlotte had done anything so abhorrent that it warranted Legion’s attention. Her criminal record included little more than a few cases of petty theft and arson. Since when did they concern themselves with such relatively minuscule matters?

“Everything you need to complete your mission is in that file,” said Director Ward. “Can you show us that you can do your job?”

Although rare, it was not unheard of for agents to turn down assassinations. Kerri was a living, breathing example of that. Her jobs, which tended to focus on protecting life rather than ending it made her more likely than the average operative to do so. It was an interesting thing to be said of someone who worked for a company willing to kill others in the name of world peace.

And she might have said no, were it not for her audience. There simply was not enough information in the file for Kerri to accept a job with such heavy ramifications in good conscience. She was already on such thin ice as it was, she wasn’t willing to take the risk of saying no when tensions already ran so high.

Kerri’s eyes snapped up to Ward’s as she bit back, “Of course I can.”

As if sensing her discomfort, Director Shaw said, “Understand that all we are asking, Agent Foxtrot, is that you complete the assignment as it has been given, and there will not be an issue.”

Kerri’s fingers clenched around the lectern so hard her knuckles hurt. “An issue with what?”

“Given your acts of impotence in the field over the past half decade, Alpha has decided that it is in Legion’s best interest to move up your re-evaluation concerning your standing as a Named Agent.”

Terror wrapped its icy claws around Kerri’s chest and clenched, driving the air from her lungs. Every five years, Named Agents were put through a series of evaluations and assessments as a means of checking their skills and overall functioning. The results were used to make a recommendation concerning whether that agent was in good enough standing to continue serving in such a demanding, high profile capacity. Really, it was just a fancy way of saying “are they fit enough and sane enough”. Kerri’s evaluation, which had been scheduled for the end of this year, had hardly crossed her mind, until now.

At her silence, Shaw added, “Consider this a test run.” His tone was not warm. “Complete your mission with no infractions, and we will consider moving forward with considering you for a renewal of your credentials. If you fail, you will be immediately discharged.”

The world stopped spinning beneath Kerri’s feet. Gripping the lectern for support, she looked at each member of the panel. Nothing in their faces, their posture, indicated that they were being facetious. She actively struggled to maintain straight, untangled breathing—her mouth and through suddenly bone-dry.

After all she had done. All she had given to these people, this organization, this was what it came to?

A new voice, this one female, spoke up, calling Kerri’s spirit back into her body, “Perhaps this is a consequence we should reconsider, Director Shaw.”

“You have something you would like to add, Director Frost?”

Director Rachelle Frost straightened, pursing her plump lips into a line. She glared at Director Shaw with eyes so dark they seemed black. “I had the privilege of overseeing Agent Foxtrot’s training in my facility. She was one of my youngest and fastest graduates. She has done more than enough to earn her title.”

“It’s no question whether she earned her title,” said Kim. “That is separate from being worthy of keeping it.”

“Losing her would be a detriment Legion. I would recommend that the panel considers a customary demotion.”

Shaw said, “The order came directly from Alpha; she did not ask for the panel’s input on the matter. Agent Foxtrot has become too much of a liability to consider keeping her around, even in a smaller capacity. Our job as a panel is simply to pass the motion.”

Kerri pushed her hands into the podium, exerting as much pent up energy as she could without physically leaning into it. Doing so would only call more attention to her. Her lungs suddenly felt too small for her chest, and her breath came out in short, patchy puffs. Charlotte Moore’s face stared back up at her, her green eyes seeming to pierce into her as if she stood there in the flesh. Kerri swallowed when she felt her breakfast crawl back up her throat.

“All in favor, say aye.”

A chorus of ayes filled the empty space, punctuated by a single nay. As the echo faded from the chamber, Kerri felt she was truly in danger of emptying her stomach onto the floor.

“The motion passes,” said Director Shaw, flat. “Do you understand your task, Agent Foxtrot?”

With trembling hands, Kerri flipped the folder shut. Though it covered Moore’s face, she still felt her eyes burning into her through the thick cardstock. She hoped the podium covered her movements well enough to conceal that small detail. Her voice felt oddly detached from her body when she said, “I understand.”

“Best work on getting the color back into your face, Agent,” said Ward without a shred of sympathy. “If you’re serious about keeping your job, you’re going to have to watch her die.”

Despite her best efforts, she could not muster the strength to look away from her handler’s face. She locked her knees, pleading with her body to stop shaking.

“We want a confirmed kill in seventy-two hours. Get it done.”

Taglists

General | @firefeatherx @goldenhour-goldenboy @mandoplease @mylifeliterally @phoenixhalliwell @havenforafrazzledmind @living-reminder @pascalz @worldominatorx @givemethatgold @agirllovespancakes @lilacyennefer @dignityneeded @veuliee @briskywalker @herestherealproblem @piratewolfe @mapache-lector @skylyknightly

ATLAS Fam | @radiomacbeth @ezrathings @svpphicwrites @shadescrawls @aetherwrites @ryns-ramblings @isherwoodj @spillme @avi-burton-writing @aliensmoon @writerlywonders @donghyeuck @discreet-writer @selenthediscountvamp @sunwornpages @chloeswords @skylermegary @camusbf @ravens-and-rivers @kitblogsthings @magpieandfae @guulabjamuns @the-marshmallow-vamp

#atlastracking #writeblr #writing community #my writing #original stuff #excerpt #legion #gonna tag this #nanowrimo #because this is my nano project and i'll be picking up where i've left off thus far #nanowrimo 2020 #i was gonna post this later this afternoon but i'm impatient and require immediate validation

29 notes · View notes

kuratoki · 4 years

Text

Changes 09

Changes is ALMOST done...I just finished writing the remaining parts so they’ll be posted throughout the week :)

Also once this series is completed what do you guys want to see next? The sequel or the new fic? Let me know~♥

Do you agree that things change in time? Well four years abroad would tell wouldn’t it?

Pairing: Reader x Jeno ft. NCT

Words: 3711

Warning: Swearing/Mentions of Death/Angst

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 6.5 - 7 - 8 - 9

Renjun had seen Jaemin’s car come into the parking lot from the window and went out to meet you, “We need to talk” he said quickly, pulling you away to somewhere private and away from everyone's questionable looks.

“Did Jongin contact you?” you both asked at the same time once you were alone.

“Ah, good. So we are on the same page...what do you think?” he asked leaning against the brick wall, crossing his arms.

“I just want to know why they’re asking us instead of holding auditions.” you said biting your lip, “We’re technically considered alumni at this point despite only being juniors so isn’t that against the rules?”

“It was a request from Anne-Marie,” Renjun emphasized, “She can technically do whatever she wants. We’d probably be missing school too meaning we won’t be in the Senior levels with everyone else the following year. You don’t think its because of...”

"Can’t be.” you said quickly shaking your head, “If I remember correctly, opening night rolls around spring break...It might be a semester abroad.” you commented, “What do you want to do?”

“You know I won’t agree if you don’t.” Renjun stated with a shrug, “How about we see what Jongin has to say first? Then we’ll decide.”

“Sounds good. I’m just wondering why though…” you said trying to figure out why you and Renjun would get called back after all these years. After the one performance, the two of you chose not to reaudition the next year but kept in close contact with a few members of the competition team members who were a lot older and advanced. There were only two known Juniors who had ever made it to the competition team and now only one remained while the other one was hired as their Creative Director.

“We should get inside, I’m starving.” you said, stuffing your hands in your pockets but before you could take a step Renjun threw something at you and you almost didn’t catch it.

Looking at the box in your hands, you noticed it was your iron supplements.

“You left those in my bag. Judging by your face, your levels dropped right?” he asked with a smirk before wrapping his arm around your shoulder, “If we’re going to do this, we can’t have you falling off stage again.”

“I’ll be fine.” you said rolling your eyes, “You and Jisung really need to stop babying me.”

“We will when Jeno starts, how about that?” he suggested, giving you his sarcastic smile, leading you into the private room.

“Yo! What took you guys so long?! The food arrived ten minutes ago.” Yuta called when he noticed the two of you walking in.

“You didn’t save any food for me?” you asked Yuta with big eyes, “The one who makes you food almost every day? Whose lunch box did you eat today huh?”

“Wow, still a master at being pitiful.” Renjun muttered, arm still around your shoulder and took you to where he saw two empty seats and you gulped. This was an awkward seating arrangement.

You were sandwiched between Jeno, who had Yeeun on his other side, and Renjun, who had Donghyuk on his other side. Across from you were Jaemin, Hana, Chenle and Jisung. This was going to be interesting.

“Don’t worry Y/N, I saved you some food.” Doyoung said, handing you a plate of skewers, which was Yuta’s choice of restaurant tonight.

“Plus we ordered more squid tentacles cause Jeno said that they were your favorite.” Jaehyun called out with a smirk, making the two of you red in the face.

“Thanks Doyoungie.” you said and picked up a skewer, holding it in front of Jeno who took a bite without hesitation before you finished the rest. Sharing food with each other was habitual.

“Careful you two, some would think that you were already dating.” Jaemin teased as the other boys all agreed around him and continued to poke fun at the two of you.

“Anyways, what took you two so long outside?” Mark asked, looking at you and Renjun curiously.

You looked at Renjun, silently asking if he wanted to tell everyone. Renjun shrugged his shoulders, people were bound to find out anyways and you nodded your head towards him, wanting him to say it.

“We both got a phone call just now from our mentor and Creative Director of the Selects Dance Company. They’re starting to organize their yearly performance schedule and they’ve decided upon Swan Lake once more.” Renjun said, taking a sip of his tea.

“So they want you two to audition again?” Taeyong asked as the rest of the boys looked on curiously.

“But isn’t the Selects Dance Company Europe based? You’d have to be attending an academy there in order to participate.” Ten commented.

“The Head of the Board herself has requested that Renjun and I return to reprise our roles as the Prince and Odette. We aren’t sure about the logistics about it yet. The Creative Director said he’s on his way here from Europe so we’ll meet with him to get the details I guess.” you answered.

“Dude that’s so sick!!” Mark said, coming to congratulate the two of you as various others did the same, “You two must’ve made an impact to get invited back.”

“Well Anne-Marie, who runs the whole operation, does say that once a Select, always a Select. A lot of the junior performance members get scouted into their respective competitive teams and Renjun and I do keep in contact with quite a few of the competition team members.” you explained, “Though it was unsurprising, it was completely unexpected.”

“Are you guys going to do it?” Doyoung asked, leaning over curiously. He knew that if you accepted the role, there was a chance you’d be going back to Europe a lot sooner than anyone would have wanted but if he remembered correctly, the Selects Dance Company based out of London had a really unique way to accommodate their foreign teammates.

“We’ll decide once we meet with him in a few days.” Renjun confirmed, “Speaking of which Doyoung, I’m going to need to take a day off from the club this week. I’m not sure when but I’ll let you know as soon as I find out.”

“Tell Y/N.” Taeyong said, “She’s the clubs new manager, remember?”

Jeno, who wasn’t at club when Taeyoung and Ten made the announcement, turned to look at you, “Really? They actually convinced you?”

“What? Do you not want me at club meetings?” you asked, looking at him from the corner of your eye, “And Renjun tell Hana, I’m going to be at that meeting too remember?”

“Noted.” Hana said with a giggle as Jeno tried to defend himself.

“No no no!!” he said, shaking his hands quickly, causing everyone in the room to laugh. It was unusual to see Jeno flustered the way he was and some of the members cringed at the sight while others smiled knowing there was only one person who could do that to him, “It’s not that. You’ve been so busy lately, I just thought you wouldn’t have the time.”

“The dance that we presented today and the practices we had for projects took up the majority of that.” you explained and let out a relieved sigh, “Now I can finally have a social life. Do you know how hard it was to see only Jaehyun and Renjuns face every day, almost every hour, almost every waking moment…”

“We get it!” Jaehyun and Renjun called out, rolling their eyes and Renjun shoved you slightly, making you shove him back.

“Wait, so you guys never explained it to me.” Sicheng said looking at the three of you, “Jae saw the video, figured out that it was Y/N. Asked Y/N to be his partner but why was Renjun with you?” The two were over practically everyday after school and Jaehyun just told him it was for their project but Renjun always looked like the third wheel in the scenario.

“Also, who was the guy that Y/N was dancing with?” Donghyuk asked, who was currently watching the video with several of the others behind him including yourselves and Yeeun, “the dance itself was so intimate, you must’ve been comfortable with him.”

You looked at Renjun, then back to Donghyuk, then turned to look at Renjun again, shrugging, “Well I guess you were a little uglier back then.”

Everyone at the table froze,minus Renjun who was busy shaking the life out of you again for your comment and was currently cursing at you in Chinese and Chenle who was laughing his butt off at the curses coming out of his friends mouth.

“W-wait…” Ten said, interrupting Renjuns fit, “The two of you…I thought you guys did ballet.”

“Doesn’t mean we never explored other styles of dance.” Renjun said and started thinking, “Why did we choreo this again?”

“Competition?” you suggested.

“No, look at your hair. We posted this second year when we were training with the Selects.” Renjun said pointing at something on the phone, “Extra credit project?”

“We were training with the Selects, that already fulfilled our requirement for the year.” you said and your heads snapped to look at each other, “Ah.”

“We were bored.” you both said at once and heard someone choke on their meat nearby.

“That’s right. We had a day off and watched the movie.” you said remembering the day clearly, “It was my favorite song.”

“Eight hours later, the dance was created.” Renjun said with a satisfied sigh, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, “Back in the day, when it was just you and me.”

“Bored out of our minds cause all we knew was dance. Anne-marie was impressed when we performed it for her the next day.” you said, leaning your head on his shoulder, “Heck, I was impressed.”

“Dude, I’m impressed.” Ten said with a big nod of approval, “It’s hard to make choreo like that to perfection in such a short period of time.”

“We know.” you and Renjun said at the same time.

‘Just because the dance came together in eight hours, doesn’t mean it was a peaceful discussion. This girl gets feisty when she’s persistent.” Renjun said with a smirk.

“I’m sorry...who bit who?” you asked looking up at him with a raised eyebrow, not realizing how it had come out.

“I recall it going both ways.” Renjun shot back suggestively and you pushed him away in disgust, going back to your seat.

Jeno’s eyes widened, Chenle sighed and Hana giggled.

“Yea, then I kicked you in the shin for it and you couldn’t walk for ten minutes. Bruised badly too I recall.” you said and looked at Jeno, giving him an innocent grin, “He learned not to fuck with me after that.”

“I just learned not to fuck with you.” he said, pulling you by the hood towards him, “Now eat. You skipped lunch and we ordered more skewers.” he pushed the plate in front of you and wrapped his arm around your waist as he talked to Jaemin and Hana while Taeyong got you into a conversation regarding the Clubs pre-competition retreat.

It was the one of two events a year where the older members treated the junior members to a week or weekend away. Most of the members came from wealthy families and the SUEX fund which was established by the founding members years ago came in handy. It was an account with the school where alumni members of the club would donate a little bit of money every year to fund club expenses, such as competition fees and the retreat along with team jackets etc.

The members of the club had to hold a certain grade point average to maintain their position within the dance team. Most of the members were in their top of the class and Doyoung, Taeyong, Johnny and Jaehyun were all part of the student council.

What didn’t go unnoticed by Yeeun was that despite being in a conversation with Jaemin, Jeno’s arm remained around your waist as if it was the most natural thing in the world. You were engaged in two different conversations, yet still completely aware of the others' presence and obviously listening in on the others as well. She had never seen two people who weren’t together so in tune with one another.

“Where should we go this year?” Johnny asked, taking out his phone for potential destinations.

“Why don’t we try someplace new?” Jaehyun suggested.

“Hong Kong.” Yukhei called out.

“Been there.” you and Jeno said together.

“Japan?” Yuta suggested.

“Been there.” you chorused once again.

“Oh! Why don’t we go to Hawaii!” Mark suggested.

“Been there six times.” you said and Jeno nodded.

“How have you been to so many of the same places?” Jisung asked confused, “Can’t be pure coincidence.”

“Our parents work from home and travel for a living.” you answered for the two of you, “We grew up going on trips together all over the place. Hawaii...California…”

"Japan...Malaysia…the Carribean..” Jeno continued listing off his fingers, “We did a cruise once too.”

“Ahh our days of running free on deck, high on endless soft serve.” you said leaning into him with a giggle, remembering the days where your parents let you did as you pleased while on the cruise, “What do you guys want to do for the retreat?” you asked, getting back on topic.

“Weekend trip this time around. I think we’ll save the weeklong one for warmer weather.” Taeyong said looking at his phone, “We could go to Busan.”

“Why don’t we go to Y/N’s vacation home in Jeju?” Jeno suggested, not even asking you first.

“Vacation home?” Yeeun asked with wide eyes, just how wealthy were you?

“We could.” you agreed, “You’d just have to pay for the plane tickets. But it’s in my name now and I have the keys. As long as you guys don’t trash the place, I can organize the whole thing.”

“Your parents actually put the whole thing in your name?” Jeno asked skeptically, “There has to be a reason behind that.”

“They figured we’d use it more than they would and if anything happens, I’m responsible, not them.” you answered, “And don’t act so surprised. I know for a fact that you have the penthouse in Gangnam under your name.”

“Yea and? It’s not like I use it.” he said, “It’s just sitting there collecting dust.”

‘It’s waiting for us.’ he thought to himself, subconsciously tightening his arm around you and felt you shift to make yourself more comfortable. When you were younger, the two of you made a pact to move to the city together and to this day, it was what the penthouse in Gangnam his parents promised him was for. He wanted to be your first official place together.

“The fact that the two of you already have property under your names astound me.” Doyoung said with a straight face, “You truly are a match made in heaven.”

“Our parents have share homes in certain cities so they have a home wherever they go. They haven’t really been in Korea much these days.” you explained ignoring Doyoungs last comment, “and with Jeno’s parents gone, we kind of have to rely on each other. Plus I have WinWin who apparently adopted Yuta so I’m technically a mom of three.” you finished with a sigh.

“I’ll pay for you tonight Y/N.” Yuta called out sweetly, making you snort.

“When do you guys want to go to Jeju? Y/N and I can take care of it all. You just have to show.” Jeno said as eyes widened around the table.

“Did my ears deceive me or did Jeno actually just take charge of an event?” Johnny asked, looking at Doyoung and Taeyong.

“He’s smart, taking the opportunity to spend more time with her.” Doyoung mused, “And Renjuns also doing a good job at playing the jealousy pawn. He brings out a side of her that I don’t think Jeno’s ever seen and its obvious.”

“Okay, fine.” Taeyong said grinning, “You and Y/N can take charge, outside of the plane tickets, we’ll give you a budget for food and drinks. Anything outside of that will come out of your pockets.”

“Fine by me.” Jeno said looking down at you, “What do you think.”

“I have to dance with you already and now I have to plan a retreat with you?” you asked, pretending to be reluctant, “Sure why not.”

“Okay, now we’ve settled that. What are we doing for the rest of the night?” Yuta asked, “It’s Friday night guys.”

“You guys could always come over.” you said knowing it was what Yuta wanted, “And if it gets too much, I can just escape to Jeno’s or something.”

“I need to get my cats from you first but that sounds like a plan.” Jeno agreed as others agreed around him.

“I’m starting to like our new manager already.” Jungwoo said grinning, “Best decision the club has ever made.” As those around him happily agreed, knowing that good things were going to come to the club.

When everything was settled, everyone slowly but surely made their way to your house. Yeeun and Yukhei even showed up and you were glad that there was no animosity between you and the truth was, Yeeun couldn’t feel any even if she tried.

Through dinner she could see why Jeno liked you so much. You invited her to dinner and even back to your house, even though all she had been was mean to you. The way he looked at you was also another thing that got Yeeun. The only time she had ever seen that look was the way Jaemin would look at Hana, it was the look of adoration, contentment and love. She realized then that she couldn’t compete with someone like that. Not with how strongly Jeno wasn’t afraid to show his obvious love for you in front of everyone.

Jeno and Jaemin had gone back to his house to change once more and had yet to return, a few of the guys were in your yard while others were playing video games. You and Renjun were in the kitchen, reading the Selects group chat which was currently going crazy.

“Something doesn’t seem right.” Chenle said, looking around the room, specifically at three different people.

“What are you talking about?” Jisung asked, focused on the game at hand.

Chenle looked at Yukhei who seemed to be a little too focussed on his phone and then looked at you and Renjun who seemed to be doing the same. Doing a quick scan of the room, Hana, Jeno and Jaemin were no where to be found.

“Something is seriously not right.” he said again when he saw the grim looks on yours and Renjuns faces and Yukheis gaze darting towards the two of you across the room, his look almost identical.

Getting up, he quickly made his way to the kitchen when he saw you say something to Renjun and he nodded his head, leaving out your back door his phone grasped tightly in his hand. It was the wrong move however because once Renjun was out of sight, Yukhei left Yeeun and made a beeline for the kitchen, luckily Chenle got there first.

“What’s going on?” he asked when he saw you resting your head in your hands.

At the same time, your phone rang and you held up your finger to Chenle, signalling for him to hold on.

“Please tell me you didn’t get on that plane and that you’re with them right now.” you said the moment you answered.

“I didn’t get on the plane and I’m with Anne-Marie and Mia right now.” Jongin said on the other side quietly, “Mia’s on the phone with Renjun and Anne-Marie is saying her goodbyes. How are you holding up?”

“I’m still in shock...but I think it’ll be easier to let go when it sinks in. We all knew it was going to happen and Mia’s been keeping us updated. He gave up his fight.” you said and sighed, closing your eyes, a lone tear escaped alarming Chenle.

“His body couldn’t take it anymore.” Jongin said, his voice heartbroken. He did just lose a brother after all, “Listen, I just wanted to let you know that I’m still going to be coming down but I’ll be there in two days. They were already prepared so they just have to decide the funeral date. I want to meet with the two of you but I have a huge favor to ask of you and Renjun.”

“Anything.” you said, trying to hold in your tears and you felt Chenle wrap his arm around your shoulders in a comforting hug.

“Anne-Marie insists that we proceed with the production regardless of the circumstances. I don’t want to ask too much of her right now but the show must go on. Can I ask the two of you to be a helping hand with the cast and production alongside Mia?” Jongin requested and you gasped.

He wanted you to be part of not only the cast but the production team as well, this was a big opportunity since it showed that he believed in your skills.

“We can talk more about it when I get there but it would be a big help to me and the rest of the company.” he continued.

“I’ll talk to Renjun after he gets back. We will for sure consider it. Go be with them, they need you the most now.” you said, “Just let me know where and when to meet.”

“I’ll see you soon. Take care of yourself Y/N.” Jongin said before the line went dead.

“Y/N, what happened? What’s going on?” Chenle asked as you let more tears flow.

“Y/N.” Yukhei said coming into the kitchen and standing on your other side so you were trapped.

“Xander passed away.” you whispered, letting more tears flow and closed your eyes briefly, “His nurse found him this morning...they said it was peaceful. His body was exhausted and just couldn’t take it anymore.”

#nct imagine #nct #nct dream imagine #nct dream #lee jeno #jeno #jisung #jaemin #kpop #kpop scenario #kpop imagines #nct scenario #nct fiction #nct dream fiction #nct dream scenario #jeno imagine #jeno fiction #jeno scenario

28 notes · View notes

ericsonclan · 3 years

Text

Trimming the Tree

Summary: Omar loses a bet with Louis and has to fulfill Louis' unique idea for Christmas decorating.

Word Count: 1884

Read on A03:

“Alright, everyone, I have an announcement to make,” Louis stood in front of the picnic table, his hands proudly pulling upon the collar of his coat. “I’m sure everyone remembers the bet I placed with Omar back in October, the one where he said there was no way I could bag five rabbits singlehandedly for us in one day and I did.”

“I remember the bet,” Omar replied calmly, setting aside his stew bowl. “It’s one I’ve begun to dread considering the fact that you still haven’t called in that favor you won from me,”

“Well fear no more, Omar, for today is the day I call upon you for that favor,” Louis declared, a cheeky grin on his face.

A frown pulled at Ruby’s lips as she looked up at Louis. “Now I know I don’t have to tell you not to choose anything stupid. And by stupid I mean dangerous,”

Louis raised his hands in self-defense. “Why, sweet Ruby, I would never! What I have in mind for Omar isn’t dangerous at all. For you see, the favor I am asking for is that Omar be a tree,”

Clementine’s brow quirked at that line. “A tree? What do you have up your sleeve, Lou?”

“Only a deck of cards, my dear,” Louis replied with a wink.

Omar looked unimpressed. “You want me to be a tree. What does that involve, standing completely still for an entire day?”

“Ah ah ah, not just any tree, Omar,” Louis lifted a finger. “You see, the tree I want you to become is… a Christmas tree,”

That got a reaction out of the kids. None of them had had a Christmas tree for Christmas since before the world ended. There were pine trees that grew in the forest, but they were a great distance away and most were far too large to carry. The one year obtaining a Christmas tree had been attempted back when they were young teens, they’d almost lost a kid in the process. Having a human stand in for the Christmas tree was an interesting prospect to say the least.

Omar crossed his arms, eyeing Louis evenly. “And what exactly will I be doing as a Christmas tree?”

“Why being decorated of course!” Louis quipped. “There’s a box full of decorations in the basement that the school used to use. You’ll stand in place in the music room and the rest of us will dance around you and put decorations all over your clothes and hair,”

“You know,” Aasim cut in, “There’s a perfectly reasonable alternative to this which is building some sort of artificial tree ourselves. I think-”

But Aasim had already lost the attention of the others before he started. Most of them were quite excited at the idea of decorating Omar, the little boys already abuzz with ideas and inspiration. Omar looked rather conflicted at the thought of being a stand-in for a tree but upon seeing the joy in A.J. and Willy’s faces his expression softened and he gave Louis an approving nod.

“It has been decided!” Louis declared, dramatically drumming upon the table. “Tomorrow we shall convene to decorate the music room and Omar!”

---

The next day after all the chores had been completed everyone gathered in the music room to begin decorating. Prisha, Violet, Willy and Ruby had grabbed the decorations from the basement while A.J., Clementine and Louis had gathered together all the paper and craft supplies they could carry in order to make even more decorations. Omar and Aasim tidied up the music room in order to prepare it for its Christmas transformation.

Once they were all gathered and had everything ready, Omar took his place at the center of the room, standing in as the tree. Ruby put one of the few Christmas records they had on the gramophone. “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” began to play and everyone bopped their heads softly to the music.

Louis rooted through one of the boxes of decorations, clearly looking for something in particular. “What better way to start our decorating than with… tinsel!” The dreadlocked boy threw the silver strands into the air with a happy cry watching in glee as they came to rest all over Omar’s afro. A.J. immediately followed Louis’ lead, grabbing his own handful of tinsel and throwing it directly in Omar’s face.

“Not the face, goofball,” Clementine instructed, coming over to join them by the boxes. Fishing inside the nearest one, she grabbed a simple ball ornament and stepped forward, gently dangling it from Omar’s ear.

That seemed to be the signal everyone had needed to really get started. Violet and Prisha grabbed a length of garland made from red tinsel and began to circle Omar with it, smiling at each other as they did so. Willy had gone crazy with the ornaments, trying to place them on any possible place they could stay: Omar’s other ear, his nose, each one of his fingers. He wanted to take off Omar’s shoes to decorate his toes too, but Aasim put a stop to that.

The Indian boy had been working mostly with Ruby on other ways in which they could decorate the room for Christmas. Colored candle holders filled the room just as they had the night of the hootenanny, but now paper snowflakes had been added to the mix, decorating the walls and being scattered across the top of Louis’ piano. Paper chains crafted by Clementine and decorated by A.J. also did their part to brighten up the room as well as joining the garlands wrapped round and round Omar’s form.

Omar tried his best to stay still, a soft smile on his face as he watched his friends get into the Christmas spirit. Blowing a stray piece of tinsel away that was tickling his nose, he looked over at Louis who was in the mist of trying to make a paper crown as a “tree topper”. “You know, Louis, if this was your plan all along, shouldn’t you have made the bet with someone taller, say, Aasim or Prisha?

Louis smiled, looking up from his cutting. “If that had been my plan from the beginning, then certainly. But it wasn’t. I just made that bet on a whim and inspiration didn’t strike till later. But boy, when it did, I just knew I had to make this happen. You may not be the tallest tree, but you’ve certainly brought our Christmas to life,”

The boys looked around the room together, smiling at all the joy that was present there. There hadn’t been a true Christmas celebrated here in quite some time. Last year they’d been in the midst of healing from the Delta attack with Clementine and Violet still recovering from their injuries. The year before, well, they hadn’t known it at the time, but Marlon had been too busy hiding the truth about what happened with the twins for any Christmas celebrations to happen at all.

And even the years before that the kids had all been so focused on survival, just barely scraping by each winter, that it had never felt like Christmas was something worth celebrating. Now things were different though. Things were peaceful, they were safe, and the reintroduction of the greenhouse and the additions of a vegetable garden and rabbit hutch meant they had quite a bit of food stored up for winter. For the first time in a long time they were all happy, really truly happy.

Eventually the decorations had all been used, the room was fully decorated, and Omar was covered from head to toe in tinsel, ornaments and garlands. The kids took a step back, admiring their work proudly.

“Great job, team,” Louis declared, tugging on his collar once more. “Before we call it a night though, there’s one more surprise for everybody. Well, everybody but me and A.J. that is. You ready, buddy?”

“You know it!” A.J. ran over to Louis’ side, bouncing excitedly. “Is it time to tell the secret now? Can I, can I, can I?”

“Just a second, little man,” Louis chuckled, fondly ruffling the boy’s afro. “How ‘bout we show instead of tell them?”

“Right!” A.J.’s eyes lit up with joy and he rocketed out of the room, Louis close behind him. It took a few minutes, but soon the others could hear the pair’s footsteps shuffling back towards the room. Louis backed through the door with A.J., both boys carrying something within their arms. It only took a moment for everyone to recognize what it was.

“A tree!” Willy shouted, his mouth wide open in awe. “A real live Christmas tree!”

It was indeed a Christmas tree, but a much smaller one than the full-grown pines that grew so far away from them. It was about A.J.’s height and had been placed inside a large planter which the pair now placed upon the floor.

“That’s right,” Louis smiled proudly. “This was the source of my inspiration: a pint-sized Christmas tree we can plant and grow in our very own yard!”

Everyone oohed and ahhed at the tree, stepping forward to get a closer look and touch the tiny branches for themselves.

“Louis and I found the tree a few days ago,” A.J. explained, standing beside the tree. “But when we found it, Louis told me we should keep it a secret, a scallion secret,” he raised a finger to his lips and looked at Clementine with a smile. Clementine returned the gesture, happy to hear the Disco Broccoli line from him.

“Wait a minute,” Aasim raised an eyebrow. “If you already had the tree, then why did you convince Omar to stand in as a fake tree instead?”

“Because this is our outdoor tree. Omar served as our indoor tree – duh,” Louis said dismissively in a way that caused Aasim to roll his eyes. “Although once we have this little beauty planted, we can probably transfer some of Omar’s decorations over to it,”

“You expect me to stand still like this for the rest of the day?” Omar asked evenly.

Louis thought on the question for a moment. “Well, per the rules of the bet I could require you to uphold the favor for the entirety of the day as I originally stated, but in the spirit of Christmas I will graciously declare the favor fulfilled,”

“Wonderful,” Omar immediately reached up to remove the ornament from his nose then got started on taking off the rest of the decorations. The others helped him until only the paper crown and a few stray strands of tinsel lay upon his head. Omar knelt down and picked up the box that had been refilled with the decorations once used to adorn him. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s plant this tree,”

“The party continues outside!” Louis crowed, moving to pick up the tree once more. “C’mon everybody, let’s head outside!” With that he was off, A.J. scurrying alongside and helping hold up a corner of the tree. Everyone else followed closely behind, their conversations picking up once more as they left the decorated music room behind and headed toward the outdoors. Christmas wasn’t contained in just one room; it was all around them.

#twdg #twdg louis #twdg clementine #twdg omar #twdg aj #twdg privet #rusim #ninja fam #fanfic #twdg christmas #ericsonclanchristmaschallenge

5 notes · View notes

missmentelle · 5 years

Text

How to Support a Partner with Autism

After nearly two years of being single following a very difficult breakup, I got into a new relationship last year. Although we had a bit of a rocky start - as regular readers of this blog already know - we have managed to overcome our issues and build a happy, affectionate, stable relationship with each other. My new guy has all of the traits I was looking for in a partner - he’s kind, thoughtful, and considerate. He's dependable, and even though I’m not a morning person, I gladly wake up early to exchange “good morning” texts with him, filled with flirty compliments and encouragement for the day ahead. We share the same interests and values, and there’s nothing I look forward to more than curling up in his arms at the end of a long day. After years of living with a partner who seemed determined to grind me down, my new guy is the first person I’ve ever dated who puts an effort into building me up instead.

He also happens to be on the Autism spectrum.

My partner is from a European country with some of the worst protections for autistic human rights in the developed world, and his diagnosis has been a source of deep shame for him. He has lived his whole life under serious stigma, and he had hoped that moving to America would make things a little better for him. My friends and family’s reactions to finding out my partner is autistic, however, have been disappointing, even in an age and country where autism acceptance is on the rise. Many of them don’t understand why I would want to have an autistic partner, or they are surprised to learn that autistic people date at all. It’s not entirely surprising that they think this way - although there is more information out there about autism than ever, and depictions of autism in popular media are on the rise, it is still rare to see autistic people presented as sexually desirable, or to see serious conversations about dating and sex with people on the spectrum. When we are shown autistic people in dating situations, either their social awkwardness is played for laughs, or they are portrayed as only being capable of dating other autistic people. The idea that autistic people can have happy, mutually fulfilling romantic relationships with non-autistic people is not often explored in media or in resources about autism, and I have to look pretty hard to find advice or examples of relationships that look like mine.

So if you’re a non-autistic person who is in love with an autistic person, and you’re worried about how best to support your partner’s needs, here are my personal recommendations:

Ask your partner what they need. Your partner has been living with their quirks for a lot longer than you have, and by this point, they probably have a good idea of what works for them and what doesn’t. Don’t guess, and don’t make assumptions - ask your partner what they need from you, in plain and direct language. The things that worked in your previous relationships might not work for this partner, and it’s better to discuss your partner’s needs ahead of time rather than learning that they don’t like something after they’ve already gotten stressed out or upset.

Beware of stereotypes. Don’t assume that you know what an autistic person needs just because you sat through three episodes of Atypical and half a season of The Big Bang Theory. Autistic people have as much variety as non-autistic people, and your partner is probably very different from every other autistic person you know. My boyfriend is the guitarist in a heavy metal band and routinely performs in noisy bars - he doesn’t experience sensory processing issues to the same degree that other people with autism do. He does have a hard time with written communication, while some autistic people literally write novels. Everyone is different, and relying on stereotypes is unfair to your partner.

Be prepared to face communication difficulties. One of the hallmarks of autism is that it makes communication difficult. That’s kind of what autism is. While previous partners might have been able to effortlessly read your meaning from a single glance or a gentle nudge, your autistic partner may have difficulties doing the same, and getting angry at them for not picking up on subtle nuances is just going to make you both upset. Finding a way to communicate is essential for all couples, but it may require more dedicated effort when one or both of you has communication issues. Get used to saying exactly what you mean - many people with autism struggle to parse sarcasm or passive aggression, and you can’t have a productive relationship when one of you has to work a lot harder to understand what the other is getting at. If you are the sort who loves to tease, check in with your partner and make sure they know when you are kidding and when you aren’t. Debrief after difficult interactions to see where you both could have done things differently. Your partner is worth the effort.

Learn to not take things personally. People with autism can be very blunt, and sometimes struggle to know when they have crossed the line from “telling it like it is” to “hurting others’ feelings”. They may also have moments where they want to socially withdraw, or moments when they do not want to be physically touched. It’s important not to take any of it personally, and to remember that your partner’s moods and needs are not always about you. Your partner isn’t trying to hurt you - they are just trying to exist in a world that isn’t always comfortable for them. My partner and I have a double barrier to communication that can sometimes lead to unintended offense; there is a language gap between us, as his English is not perfect, and I am barely conversational in his native tongue. There are plenty of times he has accidentally said something harsh, or chosen unnecessarily harsh wording. He struggles to find the right words to comfort someone, especially over text message, and when I’m worried about something he will often say “I don’t care about this” - not because he’s telling me to shut up, but because he can’t find the words to say “I am confident that everything is going to work out okay, and so I am not concerned about this issue and you shouldn’t be either”. Having a partner with autism often means extending the benefit of the doubt, letting things go, and asking your partner for clarification before responding to what they say.

Don’t drop hints or expect mind-reading. You shouldn’t do this in any relationship, but it’s especially important that you not do this with an autistic partner. Autistic partners cannot play the “what’s wrong - I’m fine - no you’re not - I said I’m fine” game with you; you have to tell them outright if something is bothering you, instead of hoping they will notice you are obviously in a pissy mood. Use your words. Social connections do not always come naturally to your partner, and asking them to make the connection between an offhand comment you made a week ago and your mood today is just going to make everyone needlessly frustrated. If you didn’t say it in plain language, don’t expect them to know what you want.

Remember that honesty is a double-edged sword. People with autism often do not see the point in lying. If I ask my boyfriend if I look fat in my new dress, he will absolutely give me an honest answer, and then make several suggestions for changes that I might make to my diet and exercise regime. He is not trying to be rude, and he doesn’t actually want me to lose weight - he is giving me the answer that he thought I wanted. Don’t ask your autistic partner questions that you don’t want honest answers to. The little voice in your head that tells you “the truth is going to hurt this person’s feelings too much, time for a white lie” doesn’t work for everyone, and your partner may have a hard time understanding when you are actually hoping to be lied to.

Understand that you may need to initiate things. People with autism tend to face a lot of social rejection in their lives, and by the time they reach dating age, it can really begin to take a toll on them. They are used to seeing themselves portrayed as sexually and socially undesirable, and they may have come to believe that dating is off the table for them. Most have been burned before for coming on too strong, or for making their feelings known when their interest wasn’t returned, and they may be hesitant to make the first move. My partner has actually been in a lot more relationships than I have, but almost never of his own volition - he is objectively extremely physically attractive, especially to women who like men from alternative subcultures, and he has been fortunate enough to have other people constantly make the first move. Even at this stage in the relationship, I often have to be the one to initiate affection - he is wary of coming on too strong, and prefers to wait for me to make a move.

Be prepared to offer a lot of reassurance. My partner struggles to identify other people’s moods or read facial expressions. He cannot tell a “I’m genuinely happy to be interacting with you” smile from a “I’m trying to be polite but I want you to go away” smile, and he knows it. It’s very stressful to not be able to tell what kind of impact you’re having with another person, and sometimes people with autism need extra reassurance that their partners are enjoying whatever it is they are doing and want it to continue. A quick “hey, I really like that you hugged me just now, it made me really happy” goes a long way.

Don’t infantalize your partner. Your partner is an adult with autism. They are not a child, and they don’t need to be treated like one. The fact that they might sometimes need extra patience with communication does not mean that they need to be coddled, talked down to, or pitied. People with autism deserve to be respected like any other adult - you should not be trying to shelter them or undermining their ability to make decisions for themselves. Let them take risks if they want to take risks, and don’t act like their substitute parent.

Plan dates and activities with their needs in mind. Even if your partner can handle going to a noisy bar, that’s probably not the place to meet up with them if you need to have an emotionally tough conversation with them. Some autistic people struggle with food - a trip to a restaurant with completely unfamiliar cuisine may be more stressful than exciting for them. Likewise, while popular media pushes the idea that being “spontaneous” is important for a love connection, many people with autism are much happier having a set routine and knowing about any plans well in advance. If my partner and I have a date set for next week, he will text me every day until then to confirm our plans. Don’t worry about what the world finds “romantic” - do what works best for the two of you.

Remember that they still feel emotions, even if they can’t always show it. People often make the mistake of assuming that people with autism are “emotionless” or “robotic”. But an inability to express emotions outwardly does not mean they aren’t being experienced on the inside. People with autism can experience very intense emotions, but not show outward signs of this. Don’t assume that your partner is feeling nothing just because they seem placid and calm - check in with them, even if they appear to be okay.

Enjoy them for who they are. The whole point of getting into a relationship with someone was, presumably, because you enjoy spending time with them. So keep spending time with them. It’s important to be mindful of barriers that your partner faces, but it’s also important not to get too wrapped up in it and reduce your partner to a label. My partner is autistic, but he’s also my cooking partner, my travel buddy and the person whose ass I am going to kick just as soon as I get good at shooter games. There’s no point trying to divide him up into “autistic traits” and “non-autistic traits”. He’s a whole wonderful person, and someone I feel very lucky to even know.

#missmentelle #askmissmentelle #dating #love #relationships #relationship #relationship advice #autism #autistic

428 notes · View notes

mr-entj · 5 years

Note

Can you talk about the quality(ies) or trait(s) that contributed most to your success? I read about your adversity and I want to know what is your personal mindset of getting through those challenges.

Combined with the following asks:

Hello, Mr. ENTJ. Have you ever been depressed? How did you manage to come out of the rut and find the will to live on? I realize that this is a personal question, and you don’t really have to answer but it’d help in understanding different paradigms and help someone who else who is struggling. Thank You

Related answers:

What do you think is required from a person to succeed ?

Dealing with failure and overcoming adversity

What are some of your top habits that have helped your success? What are some habits in your life you think you need to change?

Did the qualities you’ve mentioned (emotional self-regulation, mental fortitude) come naturally to you? Was it something you had to develop? How can I develop them? Thanks for dedicating your time to this blog. Helped a lot.

The answer is grit (resilience). I have an abundant supply of resilience that’s carried me through a childhood rife with crushing poverty, domestic abuse, physical danger, health crises (hip reconstruction, cancer), rejection, failure, and all the in-betweens that life threw at me to get to where I am today.

To develop and maintain grit, there are 3 core values carved into my soul:

1. “I am not a victim, I am my own hero.”

This stops spirals of self-pity and feelings of helplessness. This creates hope and courage. This reminds me that while I’ve been on the receiving end of some awful events (I mean, truly, ridiculous shit), I still have within me to change my circumstances– then I do it.

Poverty? I put myself through school (I paid 100% of my own tuition, no help from my parents– not a single penny– for undergraduate and graduate school), grinded through 6+ years of studies to graduate from 2 elite universities at the top of my class, hustled through my career, and now I’m wealthy. My parents never have to worry about money again, ever, my wife is taken care of, my daughter is spoiled rotten, my vacations are booked, my bank account is fat, my stock portfolio is cruising, and my career is skyrocketing. I have clothes on my back, a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and a smile on my face.

Physical danger? I fulfilled a lifelong dream to move my family out of the ghetto, buy our parents a home a few years back, and they now live in an affluent neighborhood within a gated community.

Health crisis? I saw the best physicians available, ate healthy, exercised, and continue to take care of my health to the best of my ability. I’ve recovered, I’m well, I’m healthy, I’m cancer free, I’m pain free.

There are many things in life that are unfair and out of your control; but how you prepare for the worst, plan for the best, and respond to those circumstances are in your power. That’s where you need to step up and shine. There will be amazing people along this journey that will help by providing advice, encouragement, and support but at the end of the day they have their own lives to live, their own problems to solve, and their own mountains to climb so you must always be your own advocate. You can’t hitch a ride on their wagon because they’re not going where you’re going. This is your ship and you are the captain, it’s your responsibility to steer it in the right direction so master the things within your control.

2. “Tomorrow will be better.”

This helps with impatience when progress is slow and fights off doubts and despair when changes don’t come as quickly as I want. This creates discipline and consistency. I always tell my wife, the INTJ, after every setback that “I feel like something good is waiting for me around the corner. I don’t know what it is, how it’ll come, or when it’ll come, but I feel it.” And it inevitably does as long as I show up, give 100%, and keep working towards my goals.

“Tomorrow will be better” helps me take things step by step because I have the tendency to look a hundred miles down the road and cringe at the distance still left to travel. I’ve repeated this over and over again, through my crap retail job at Target, through being a janitor scrubbing toilets in the mall, through my long hours cramming for the MCAT, through high stress in my consulting job, and so on and so forth. 1 day becomes 1 week, 1 week becomes 1 month, 1 month becomes 1 year, 1 year becomes 10 years, and suddenly we’re in 2019 and I’ve graduated from my dream schools, I work in my dream job, I’m married to my dream girl, I drive my dream car, and I’ve traveled to destinations around the world I used to only dream about.

Confucius wasn’t playing around when he said “a journey of a 1000 miles begins with a single step.” It won’t be an overnight thing. If your goal is to lose weight, then you’re not going to do 100 push-ups today and get a six-pack tomorrow. If your goal is to raise your grades, then you’re not going to read a chapter and magically get a 4.0 GPA tomorrow. I didn’t snap my fingers one day and suddenly my dream life appeared at my doorstep the next morning. That’s not how it works. However, if today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today, then those wins will add up over time until you finally get to where you’re going.

3. “You’re going to have to kill me to stop me.”

This is not an exaggeration, this is a fact. This creates tenacity and stamina. You may be smarter than me, you may be taller than me, you may be richer than me, you may be more handsome than me, you may be better than me in every facet but you are not going to outwork, outhustle, or outlast me. Period.

Learn to fight like hell.

This is a mentality I take towards every goal I’ve set because it keeps me alert, prepared, and responsive to seize opportunities as soon as they pop up. I always tell people around me whenever we’re working on their goals to “be ready” because if you’re ready, then you don’t need to waste time getting ready. Opportunities in life fly by in a blink of an eye like a job posting that opens and closes because you didn’t have a resume prepared, a scholarship perfectly matched for your background that got away because your grades weren’t high enough, or the love of your life that gets away because you weren’t available when you two crossed paths. Be ready and stay ready so when the opportunities present themselves you can immediately seize them.

I achieve this by being in constant motion in my life; I am reading, I am exercising, I am traveling, I am working, I am mentoring, I am meeting new people, I am growing relationships with the people I already know, I am perfecting my craft, I am expanding my network, I am learning a new skill, I am building my knowledge, I am recharging, I am reflecting on my life, priorities, mistakes, and next steps– I am improving every single day and I don’t stop. I stay insanely busy, which you might’ve noticed if it’s taken me 6 years to respond to your ask or Tumblr message (my bad), with meaningful things that add to my life. I move with purpose, I work like I’m possessed.

The United States Armed Forces has a saying:

“Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.”

There are many people in this world who fall short of their full potential because they aren’t willing to work or fight for what they want. They hit a little speed bump, lose heart, and give up, but with a little digging it becomes obvious they didn’t try hard enough to push through the barriers. I worked 3 jobs from 3AM to 8AM and 12PM to 10PM while taking classes to pay tuition and rent, I scrubbed toilets, I bussed tables, I lived on packets of ramen for weeks because that was the only food I could afford, I studied by flashlight, I slept in my car, I walked to work in the rain when I couldn’t afford gas, I studied from outdated textbooks in the library because I didn’t have the money to buy or rent new ones, I attended every career recruiting event, I showed up at office hours to every class I struggled in, I chased every tutoring session until I understood the subject matter, and I was always the first one in and last one out of the classroom or the office wherever I was. I always fought for it. I exhausted every option so that even if I failed, I could sleep peacefully knowing I had done everything in my power to succeed, I had closure that I did my absolute best.

And that’s how I did it.

That’s how a scrappy kid born in poverty in the slums of a third world Southeast Asian country, raised in an unstable home, and burdened with too many challenges to list, became educated, graduated, elevated, and gainfully compensated. To not only survive in life, but to thrive.

#resilience #success #depression #adversity #motivation #recovery #struggle #challenges #wellness #strength #grit #personal #faq #mr-entj #life #slumdog millionaire

314 notes · View notes

nomorelonelydays · 5 years

Note

Can I present maîtresse-en-titre Sid. The prized beauty and only son of a humble coastal town family whose red lips, fair skin and sparkling eyes catch the attention of Russian emissary Kovalchuk, who is visiting the Western kingdoms on business for the king (Zhenya, who stepped into the position in extreme odds of his parents ceding the throne early and his brother moving away to marry). There is a special day of celebration in the small harbor parish to watch as the foreign delegation (1/?)

so much more under the cut!!! it’s literally an epic guys

passesthrough the only high street. Amid the local beauties who had adornedthemselves in hopes of catching the eye of a visiting nobleman or noblewoman,Sidney stands out for having made no special effort beyond his Sunday best andyet effortlessly catches the eye of everyone in Kovalchuk's entourage. They areofficially staying at a hotel in nearby Dartmouth but after supper, Kovalchukenlists a few companions to hire post horses and ride back to Cole Harbour andenquire about (2/?)

theyoung beauty. The inhabitants of the parish keep much earlier hours thandashing young gentlemen and when they obtain the young man's direction from thelocal public house and are ushered by a stunned Trina and Troy into their tidybut small parlour, young Sidney is brought down in just his nightdress anddressing gown. Kovalchuk finds him even more charming in his bewildered andsleepy state but after tea and a one-sided discussion, he has resolved that theking would disregard all (3/?)

bondsof friendship between them when he found that Kovy had kept this treasure allfor himself. Instead he enjoys the blushes and sweet looks Sidney gives himwhen he hears of the plan offered to his parents: to travel with Kovalchuk'sgroup and share their accommodations, be assigned his own servant, and receivea courtly education to go with his newly forged (literally) identity as amember of Canada's nobility. That such beauty and naivety as Sidney's couldeven elevate him beyond (4/?)

theposition Kovalchuk is sure he will already receive - maîtresse-en-titre - butcould very well be asked by the King to fulfil one of the most prominentpositions in the kingdom by his side. Sidney is immediately aghast at the ideaof leaving his beloved family and home at the edge of the water for a foreignland where his entire past would be ripped away. He does a full disney princessflounce and runs upstairs to throw himself on his bed. Kovalchuk is unsurprisedand undaunted by the (5/?)

reactionand is in fact only more charmed by the loyalty and lack of greed shown by it.He takes his leave of the Crosby's and only begs them to talk with their sonand consider: King Evgeni is a benevolent if proud and fearsome ruler who wouldlikely sympathize with all Sidney had to give up in order to be in his bed andin his court. If anyone could upturn the absurd ceremony surrounding the statusof courtesans, it is he. Two days of fraught negotiation between parents andchild ensue. (5/?)

Whatultimately wins Sidney over is that, if the rumours of the Russian King'scharacter are true, then Sidney's own ascension to nobility could bring greatfortune to his family. It could preserve his sister from being forced intounwanted matches and relieve his parents of much financial difficulty. ButSidney is not so unselfish that, when he rides to Dartmouth alone with hismeagre belongings, he wouldn't have turned back had he not made Kovalchuk swearto at least a hope of one day (6/?)

Sidneyseeing his family again. Kovalchuk spares one moment of selfish longing at thelook of fierce loyalty and purity in Sidney's bright eyes, sighs the temptationaway once again, and indulges himself in a kiss to one soft cheek when heswears his word as truth. The journey from there is too dazzling and befuddlingfor Sidney to really comprehend homesickness. His old clothes are given asidelong glance by his manservant - Guentzel - before Sir Letang is usheredinto Sidney's life (7/?)

andannounces a great many changes to be made not just in Sidney's attire but anintroduction to courtly life and manners. Guentzel - Jake, as Sidney begs to beallowed to call him - is merely a boy and while given the position mostlybecause Sidney will not know the slight insult in so inexperienced a servant,Sidney is infinitely grateful that his new companion is too young to maintainformality with him for longer than a day. They become fast friends and alliesamid the lack of (8/?)

Englishspoken in the entourage as they travel the remaining distance of Canada beforesetting sail again for Russia. Sir Letang revels in dressing Sid in the finestsilks and jewels, in spite of Sidney's embarrassment over being decoratedhead-to-toe in glittering finery and sweet-scented creams and oils rubbed intohis body (mercifully done by a kind and brotherly man named O'Brien, whoexpertly overcomes Sidney's shyness). Several other gentlemen become interestedin aiding the young (8/?)

would-becourtesan's development: Sir Dupuis is a wryly funny fatherly sort, Sir Reavesis a raucous type with a protective streak as big as he is himself, and SirKessel is a dour man who Sidney takes an oddly intense affection toward. LordGonchar is a quiet but kind gentleman who seems to oversee the whole andoccasionally intervenes to keep the baudier and rowdier business away fromSidney. It is he who Sidney goes to for assurances about his possible new home.And possible new (9/?)

newlover, the King. All of the men on board with Sidney during the arduous trek toRussia's capital think the world of their King but Gonchar's lengthier historywith him and quieter ways offer more to comfort Sidney than the fervent, almostboyish loyalty of the others. The length of the journey is such that Sidney hasreceived quite the education and indoctrination into his new way of life by thetime his tired body is listing into Kovalchuk's side as their carriage takesthem to the castle

grounds.Kovalchuk cups a gentle hand under Sidney's chin and lifts his sleepy face topress a kiss to his brow. "Sleep a moment and be refreshed to meet theKing. And know this: should my good friend be so foolish as to not want you inhis apartments, you will find a welcome home in mine." Sidney is too tiredto even hear let alone understand and merely mumbles his thanks and drifts intoa brief nap as they make their way round the castle walls. When he awakesrefreshed (9/?)

blessedby the recovery of his youth, Sidney is led briefly to his new chambers torecover himself from his journey before almost immediately being led away forpresentation to the court. His traveling companions have clearly done much forcreating excitement among the nobility who assemble in unusually large numberfor an otherwise ordinary day of business to see this pretty curiosity from thewindy shores of Canada. Sidney is grateful to be taken in on Gonchar's armrather (10/?)

underthe heated gaze of Kovalchuk or the playfully teasing irreverence of the othergentlemen. Jake had regretfully gone with the other servants to the kitchensfor plain refreshments and easy camaraderie that Sidney earnestly wished forinstead of his task ahead with it's stiffness and terrifyingly fine foods.Sidney is far too shy and terrified to lift his eyes for more than is requiredfor protocol as he is presented before the King and his parents. His fine flushmerely accentuates (11/?)

youthfulcolor and all his shyness is attributed to his youth and unaffectedness. It bafflesSidney to hear the nobles around him praise his poise and his appearance as ifhe were not there, but Gonchar merely presses Sidney's arm closer to him andguides him to tables groaning with (surprisingly delicious looking) food andbeckons a draft of wine for Sidney's nerves. The sight of so much pastry andcheese and potato warms Sidney greatly to the day and he is just feeling strong(12/?)

enoughto face the endless line of introductions that Letang had warned him about whena deep voice beside him murmurs "I never see someone look at piroshki soexcept my brother when he eight years old." Sidney's nerves return in fullforce as he looks up (and up) into the face of the King. An extremely handsomeface with eyes that seem too kind and sleepy to belong to a ruler and a smiletoo rogueish for one. "Come, must have you satisfied when you look withsuch hunger!" (13/?)

Sidneyisn't sure if he's imagining the slyness with which it is said but the Kingmakes no subtlety about how much he wishes to indulge Sidney's appreciation forhis country's food as he chooses dish after dish and presents them for Sidneyto eat. Right out of his fingers. Too overwhelmed to react and too hungry tocare, Sidney gratefully takes each proffered morsel of sweet and savory andgreedily licks up the wine that drips from the goblet His Majesty raises toSidney's lips. (14/?)

Theentire court is not so subtly observing this blatant seduction, though theKing's parents cast him enough looks like he chooses to continue with the moretraditional courting of asking Sidney to dance. Sidney is charmingly littleadept at it but combined with the King's enthusiasm for big group folk danceswith easy steps, they make a happy pair moving about the floor. Too soon,Sidney is mortified by his own weariness and valiantly stifles his yawns. Butat a word from Gonchar (16/?)

KingEvgeni graciously suggests that his young guest be seen to bed early. He drawsSidney close enough to murmur so that only he can hear: "Sleep tonight andarise late. Take time to recover in comfort of your own chambers. For tomorrow,I will bid you come to mine." Between the warmth in his cheeks from thewine and dancing and the heat he can feel in the King's gaze, Sidney's senseslist along with his traitorous body into the heady debauchery like a moth to aflame. When the King

givesSidney one last look and licks his full lips, Sidney is almost desolated totears at his absence. It takes the firm arm of Gonchar and Jake's amusedattendance to cool the fire which the King alone had lit inside Sidney's virginheart. In the solitude of his great bed that night he frets over theconsequences of his dizzying evening. But his hands touch his own body beneaththe stiff and fussy nightdress and bring him sweet relief and almostimmediately after, a sweet long sleep.

OkayI'm running out of steam because it's late here so fast-forward to Sid beingprepared for his first night with the King, lots of awkward explanations fromO'Brien and Jake's mouth hanging open as he listens and Sir Kessel rolling hiseyes at Letang and Reaves getting downright graphic. It turns out that none ofthem need bothered because a) Sid forgets most of it when he is escorted to theKing's bedchamber dressed in quite a ridiculous number of fine clothes for suchan assignment

b)the King finds it endlessly charming that Sidney truly is pure and not justputting on an act like so many courtesans he’s had before. He adores guidingSidney and making him happy and comfortable in reviving the heat and attractionhe had begun the previous night. Sidney meanwhile fully appreciates the adviceto rest so well as he experiences the King’s voracious sexual appetites andstamina. He introduces Sidney to every pleasure his body can experience andtakes him completely only as

thenew dawn is rising and bathes Sidney in a soft glow as he pants his way throughreceiving the King to his very hilt. His weary body shakes on the bed as histhighs are held open by his knees as the King’s strong slim hips pound betweenthem. He had blessed Sidney’s thighs with praise at their size and chased itwith worship for the roundness of Sidney’s ass, and then the scorching heat asthe King performed an act Sidney had never imagined royalty to ever do. But thepreparation was

gratefullyreceived now that Sidney is trembling and sobbing on the King’s hard length.When he wantonly raises weak hands to pinch at his own kiss-reddened nipples,the King makes a broken cry somewhere between a howl and a bellow that makesSidney’s eyes fly open. The King pours all he has left inside Sidney’s body astheir eyes meet, and Sidney has a mad thought that the King looked almost as ifhe were in love right before coming apart himself. Cut to the following dayKing Evgeni takes

arare holiday in which to court Sidney properly (but still with fucking) and helearns of Sid’s true identity and comes good on wanting Sid as his husband andreuniting him with his family even though Sid gladly chooses to live with Genoas long as he gets regular visits to his family. Also a bit of drama beforeGeno proposes where Kovy gets a bit too leery with Sid when he thinks Genomight not be serious about Sidney and tries to make a move, only for Geno tocatch them

andSidney is terrified they’re about to duel but instead Geno and Kovy throw downfor a wrestling match in the sand used for sparring and Kovy submitting andthey both end up laughing and slapping each other on the back. When Sidneylooks baffled, Gonch assures him it’s just how Russian men are and everythingis fine. Sidney and Geno live happily ever after and the whole kingdom adoresSidney and his family get titles! End!

#omggggggg #this was like ready a one shot all on its own #ask bee

89 notes · View notes

1dshortficfest · 5 years

Text

2019 1D Short Fic Fest Round Up

Down Memory Lane by flicker_album Harry and Louis have known each other since they were five. Now they’re in their senior year of high school and still best friends. Harry, as sentimental as ever, keeps anything Louis gives him in a box under his bed. He doesn’t anticipate Louis finding the box.

A Way So Familiar by yeah_alright Liam squeezes Zayn’s hand and presses a light kiss to his fingers. He freezes when Zayn stirs, worried he’s woken him. He’s not ready to wake him. He’s enjoying being held as he wades through the memories of that first night he’d held Zayn. Held him so properly and thoroughly that he had fallen asleep still holding him tightly. That night of pizza and beer and unadulterated flirting, when their playfulness had taken on a greater significance. It had felt revelatory. Like it was all finally – fucking finally – happening. Liam wakes up in Zayn’s arms and reminisces about some of their “firsts.”

an honest mistake by disgruntledkittenface “You look different when you’re not covered in come,” he blurts out, immediately regretting each and every life choice that has led to this exact moment. Elevator Guy is going to hate him. Louis has ridden the elevator with his neighbor all week. The first time they speak, there’s a misunderstanding.

nothing breaks (like a heart) by thelouistiti Such a good time, Louis believes it this time.

Heat by jacaranda_bloom Louis was smitten from the moment Harry had arrived a month ago. Long, curly hair which he mostly keeps up in a bun, and a sinfully deep voice. Cheeky too. Louis likes that the best. He gives good banter and laughs at Louis’ dumb jokes, adding his own woeful puns. When Louis had asked him why he was in this godforsaken dust bowl, he’d said something about a ground crew traineeship and fulfilling his visa requirements while experiencing the real Australia. Louis had been momentarily distracted by Harry’s plush, red-bitten lips so the salient details may have washed over him. OR Drinking beer in a blow-up pool, in a backyard, in stupidly hot temperatures, in outback Australia should be ridiculous, and it would be, if Louis didn’t have a curly-haired workmate to keep him company.

Fistiana by yesisaworld They met in the center of the ring and bumped their bare knuckles together.

All I See Is You, Lately by runaway_train Harry noticed him for the first time three months ago. He couldn’t not, really, what with the man being so pretty and all, and Harry remembers it well because it was three days before his birthday and he had joked to himself that seeing someone so gorgeous for three days on the trot must be an early present from the Gods. Or The one where Harry has a crush on a fellow commuter.

we’re right here in this room by flicker_album Shawn goes to the same cafe every Sunday. After he meets Niall, a friend of a friend, he can’t stop thinking about him.

Insomnis by FullOnLarrie Harry’s been having trouble sleeping. Louis makes everything better.

The Truth Of It or The Day That Changed Everything by Larryhasmyheart You are Louis, the son of a wealthy horseman. Your father has been trying to ingratiate you into his circle of friends and set you up with their daughters, but you just aren’t feeling it. Instead, ever since the new stable hand smiled at you, you have been drawn to the barn. Today, you come to understand why.

it’s only your imagination again by wreckingtomlinson “So,” Louis begins, curling up in one corner of the sofa. “Guess my secret’s out.” Harry nods. “The cat’s out of the bag,” he says with a completely straight face. ~ Or, Harry’s pretty convinced his new neighbor has a cat.

Pals and Confidantes by yeah_alright The Guys sit around the kitchen table sharing cheesecake and stories of bad dates. Golden Girls AU.

Soju (소주) by gettingaphdinlarry After a spectacular breakup he’d like to forget about, English language teacher Niall Horan finds himself in starting anew in Seoul, South Korea. He’s perfectly content being single, but when his friends try to set him up with Shawn Mendes, well… Maybe it’s time to give love another shot.

Was Sort Of Hoping That You’d Stay by Sasparella76 Last night, Louis Tomlinson hooked-up with a drop-dead gorgeous man who, right now, is sleeping contentedly in his arms. Sure, the sex was good - really good, in fact - and the guy was charming and funny, but it was just a one-time thing. The thought of having to engage in some awkward morning-after chit-chat with the lad makes Louis shudder. He needs to get up, get dressed and get out before his one-night stand wakes up.

the pain’s only temporary by wreckingtomlinson They call him The Phantom. He’s something like a myth in the industry—almost everyone knows of him, but real information is few and far between. But the one thing everyone seems to be able to agree on is that anyone who dares to make a deal with him becomes untouchably, irrevocably, successful. ~ or, Harry seeks out the help of a mysterious figure referred to only as The Phantom for help getting out of a contract, but is he prepared to pay the price?

Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now by allwaswell16 Louis is having a personal crisis, a third Valentine’s Day being single. Unless he meets someone this week at the high end department store he works at, he’ll be stuck going to Niall’s Valentine’s Day party–again. Or the one where Harry mistakes Louis for a mannequin.

please forgive me if my lips quake by disgruntledkittenface Hi ! Got your number from your cat Lou. Just want to make sure they’re not lost, only visiting Harry’s pet cat wing-womans her into a date.

sunbeams by ohsailor Harry is the new neighbour suffering from insomnia. Louis is the night nurse across the hall trying to find ways to help him sleep. They find one that works.

honey (you’re familiar) by hazkaban harry had always thought that if he stumbled into the wrong date, somehow, it’s just like him, honestly, he would come clean instantly and go find his real date. that is until he’s face to face with louis, who is very pretty and not at all the man he’s supposed to be meeting.

Fluro by silveredglass Doesn’t matter where you go to help you forget - symbols, and reminders, and good old heartache is always neon bright.

Screamin’ At My Face, Baby, Don’t Trip by runaway_train He’s been waiting at their table in the restaurant for thirty minutes now, already deep into his second large glass of Shiraz, when he checks his phone. No new messages. He clicks onto WhatsApp to check when Louis was last online; 3.34 p.m today. That certainly doesn’t bode well. Louis was always late, yes, but he had promised, he had sworn to Harry that he wouldn’t be late tonight. But he was. By thirty one minutes and counting. Or The one when Harry’s anniversary dinner plans don’t go quite how he hoped they would.

She’s Got Particular Taste by Miadotfi They eventually change topics but it’s still in the back of Harry’s mind. So naturally, as soon as they get home, Harry drops her coat on the living room floor and gets naked from the waist up. With her bra in her hand she turns around to face the door. Louis enters the room and freezes in the middle of taking off her beanie. Her gaze slides down in a heartbeat, mouth hanging open. Harry waits. And waits. She doesn’t know what she expected. She shouldn’t have just stripped down first thing when they arrived home. Harry has nipple piercings and she’s more than willing to show them to Louis.

Ticket To L.A. by Tomlinsontoes Fun little airport fic based on the song “Ticket to L.A.” by Brett Young. Harry is a musician who meets Louis in an airport when all of the flights are delayed. After accidentally hitting him with his guitar case, Louis agrees to get a drink with Harry as long as he doesn’t start playing “Wonderwall”

Back To Life by Laziam (MItCheLlInE) When a fun day out turns into a horror scenario for Zayn, a kind stranger turns his entire world upside down.

The Bet by jacaranda_bloom Louis Tomlinson never reneges on a bet. Ever. He may be many things - a joker, a sometimes-wayward student, a loyal friend, a Tony Award winner in the making, and a card-carrying member of the Chad Michael Murray fan club - but never, ever, a welcher. Louis makes good on his promises and does it with flare. OR The one where Louis misjudges Harry’s ability to do TLC’s Waterfall rap and finds himself having to put on a one-man show for his viewing pleasure. If Louis decides to go all-in and dress the part, then that’s just a bonus for his (very appreciative) one-man audience.

Calling out for somebody to hold tonight by cristalrush “I saw how you kept looking at me. I’m Louis, nice to meet you.” The raspy voice startled Harry. There he was. The guy he had been watching. He looked around discreetly to make sure Louis was actually talking to him. But there was no one facing them, so Harry thought it must be him. He offered his hand to Louis, “I’m Harry, nice to meet you too.” Or Harry has almost lost hope to ever finding his soulmate and just wants to have a fun night.

A Snapshot by haztobegood That one time Harry’s photo was uploaded to Louis’ instagram.

Drunk on summer by sweetsumerstyles Zayn and Louis are on a beach stargazing with a bottle of wine and a blanket wrapped around them.

Size Difference by FullOnLarrie Harry avoids confrontation until he can’t anymore.

Angels in the Airwaves Tonight by shiftylinguini Louis is between jobs. Niall is always along for the ride.

Beautiful Disaster by FallingLikeThis Harry is broken. Maybe Louis can help with that.

Harry’s Love Song by writcraft Harry calls Nick to let him know he’s coming back to London.

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of Cheese (who am I to dis-a-brie?) by EmmyLouWho The first time it happened, Harry had assumed that it was an honest mistake. The second time it happened, Harry thought it must have been a coincidence. Perhaps if he hadn’t been such an eternal optimist, the possibility that someone was stealing his food might have occurred to him a bit earlier, but Harry had a great deal of faith in the goodness of his fellow students, and so he continued to believe that it was an accident. But by the third time he had returned to an empty microwave, Harry was starting to realise that someone was stealing his mac & cheese on purpose.

A True Love of Mine by myownspark Niall’s peaceful afternoon at the beach with Shawn is interrupted by a group of strangers. One man in particular reminds him of someone special from long ago.

sweet, sweet fate by bottomlinsons Harry’s lived with a NSFW soulmark for almost twenty-five years now. When he finally meets the man responsible, he gives him a little piece of his mind.

As Luck Would Have It by Justalittlelouislove We’ve all experienced the trials and tribulations of technology. Louis is sabotaged by a bit of unhelpful autocorrect, but maybe luck is on his side after all.

It Could Be Sweet (like a long forgotten dream) by Harryskiwiposes “You did all this? For me? Even after I ignored you all week?” “I know why you’ve been ignoring me. If you had given me a chance to explain.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I was never going to set up a dating profile. That was all Niall’s idea. He thought he was helping, but…it’s…it’s you, Louis. I just want to be with you. I was going to ask you out before Niall burst in and -” OR - the one where a miscommunication and a blackout lead Harry and Louis to admit their feelings for each other.

#1d short fic fest #round up

89 notes · View notes

matildainmotion · 4 years

Text

An Encouraging Blog about Despair

Recently I have been in despair. I notice as I write this that despair is like love – it’s a feeling that you do more than feel – you are in it. In love. In despair. Something larger than you, in which you reside, an atmosphere, a weather.

I am not good at being in despair. At Halloween I wrote a blog about fear, about being good at feeling afraid. I’m experienced at fear, paradoxically comfortable with the discomfort of it. This is not true of despair, at which I am terrible. Fear is energetic. It makes my heart go fast, ready for fight or flight. Despair makes me want to lie down and never get up again, and I don’t know how to manage this, how to carry this wish for an absolute lack of action, a kind of anti-wish, a wish for no more wishing.

I had an afternoon of despair in John Lewis in Kingston. It was one of the last shopping days before Christmas – crowds of people, multiple storeys of multiple mounds of stuff. I had to steer the children past the gold-wrapped chocolate boxes and giant gingerbread men, walk them through glossy, mirrored aisles of carefully coloured lipsticks and nail varnish. We made it to the lifts. We were headed for the bed linen department: displays of patterned duvets covers; shelves of fitted sheets; a choice between foam, feathered and other kinds of fluff-filled pillows. My son and I had a disagreement about which duvet cover to purchase for my husband. My son wanted the blue, stripy one. I wanted the one in black and white with a pattern reminiscent of trees. I thought I should get to choose what I bought for Daddy. He was okay with that, he said, as long as I agreed with his choice. He got angry and tried to kick me. His little sister meanwhile was running up and down the shiny floors and veering off to press her nose against the glass of the balcony that looked down over the many other departments. In that moment, for many reasons, I wanted to lie down and never get up again. Not on one of the display beds. Right where I was on the department floor, between the balcony and the start of the shelves of sheets. It was not because of the kids – they were my best reason to keep standing. But I couldn’t do it, because I am not good at despair- I’d rather be scared or angry. So I got more angry with my son, which wasn’t fair, and we all ended up in tears, and Daddy got more sets of duvet covers than I had intended.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine, writes Mary Oliver, who died this year, in her poem Wild Geese. Let me try to do that, to tell you about my despair, in an attempt to get better at it. This is the time of year for writing lists – lists of things achieved in the last year, lists of things to get done in the next. Hopeful lists. Lists are generally hopeful – they imply possibility. I don’t think, out of all the lists I have written in my life, I have ever made a ‘To Despair List.’ Let me do that now.

Here are some things about which I am in despair:

- My impatience with my mother, which comes from not wanting her to be nearly 80 and ready to sit down sometimes, or to focus on the small things – what kind of wood to put on the stove- when I am screaming quietly about the big things (the melting ice, rising seas) which I know she cannot fix but still, like a little girl, wish that she could.

- How often I do not stop to give someone who is homeless money, either because these days I pay for everything by card and so have no change, or because I am not brave enough to get over the awkward, uncomfortable gap of me, upright, walking past, and the man or woman, sitting, propped up outside Tescos with a paper cup.

- How when I do have the courage to stop and give money a part of me believes this makes everything okay.

- The election result and Boris Johnson. How I do not allow the children to call each other names but do allow them to call Boris Johnson “a stupid idiot,” even though I know this solves nothing and, long term, makes the deep divisions, that are the real problem, worse.

- Climate change, of course, but also how I am too cowardly to read the literature that would make my despair better informed.

- Consumerism, how many duvet covers I could choose, how gross are the inequalities of rich and poor, and the many ways in which I participate in the system that creates this disparity.

- The number of emails I get every day from people doing good work and asking for money to support their work and how I do not know to which to give or how much because it is all good and all critically important.

- How often I end up shouting at the children or making threats to them despite having read numerous conscious and alternative parenting books.

- My ability to sleep soundly through the night.

- Brexit, what it will mean and how I keep on putting off getting my daughter a passport.

- My children staying seated at the kitchen table and eating a wholesome supper I have made them – an image of motherhood I daily fail to fulfil.

- The big things – racism, poverty, refugees, rape, war, starvation, environmental destruction - and knowing that under all the big things are a million little things, specific people, animals, habitats, details, and a million moments of exact and awful loss.

I could go on, but that will do, for now, because writing this list has reminded me of when I was 7 and rather religious, and the lists I made back then. I used to go in secret to my room every day after school and pray. I felt simultaneously embarrassed about this- too shy to tell even my mother- and yet also that it would be shameful not to do it. I had decided that to be a good person it was necessary for me to list, on my knees, every day, all the people and troubles that I knew – it took me a good hour and I remember worrying about how to explain my absence to everyone during this time. Even back then I felt furtive about despair, about my sense of inadequacy in the face of all that is troubled and all that needs care in the world.

You do not have to be good, writes Mary Oliver. You do not have to walk on your knees/ For a hundred miles through the desert repenting./ You only have to let the soft animal of your body/ Love what it loves./ Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine./ Meanwhile the world goes on…

Meanwhile the children, those soft animals, are growing up. My son turns eight next week. What to do? How to go on, caring for him and my daughter, whilst despairing? I can’t lie down and weep whenever I wish. Punishing prayer is not the answer either, but I do find myself coming round to a word that has religious connotations: faith.

I am finding that being a mother requires me to have faith in the future. I realise as I write this that faith is different from hope. I can feel hopeless but be faithful. Hope has expectations. Faith does not. Hope involves trying to guess what the future might look like. Faith involves embracing genuinely not knowing. I am in despair, I can live in hope, but with faith, I am not ‘in’ it – rather it is something I must actively put into other things no matter how I am feeling: I must have faith in the children.

When my husband and I got married we wrote our own wedding vows. The ending of my vows to him went like this:

I don’t promise never to have crazy crushes, or even fall in love with other men, women, books, landscapes, ways of life….but I promise to be faithful to you, for you to stay as my centre, my home. A final word on being ‘faithful’ - not sleeping with anyone else seems like the least of it. Faithful, full of faith - faith is a belief not based on proof: I promise to believe in you and in our togetherness for the rest of our lives, even at the times when there is no evidence, no proof that it is a good idea.

Rereading this vow helps me now. I hope my children may live long and joyful lives, but I often despair that this is possible – there is no proof that it will happen. Meanwhile, I can still have faith in them and in my act of caring for them. I can believe in this process – the process of them growing up and me witnessing and supporting them to do it, however imperfectly it unfolds.

As has become my practice, I find it useful and affirming when I align my mothering and my making. I am writing a novel. I have been writing it for a long time, for the same length of time as I have been a mother. I hope it will be brilliant. I hope it will get published. Some days these hopes seem ridiculous. However, every day I have faith that it is worth my writing it whatever happens.

The first gift my husband ever gave me was a book called The Gift by Lewis Hyde. In it Hyde describes the act of making and the act of giving as inextricably connected. You make something, then you give it away so that you can make something else, and then you give that away too, and on and on. When you make and give in this way it is an act of faith because you have to let go entirely of whatever you have made – you do not know and cannot control what will become of it. Like being a mother to a child. And maybe this is what despair has to teach me, because being in despair, like being in love, involves a kind of letting go, a relinquishing of control – no wonder I’m not good at it.

Meanwhile, as the children bounce on the bed, with its new duvet cover, I read others online discussing how much to share or not with their children of the woes of the world that are present and coming, and of climate change in particular – do we bring them up to be aware? Or protect them from the anxiety of it for as long as possible? It is a good question but there is something in it that, for me, is often missing from the conversation. It is this: the future is theirs, not mine. My son learnt to read by studying danger signs and the exact instructions to be followed in states of emergency – I suspect he and my daughter both understand more about the future already than I do. To quote from another poet, Kahil Gibran, “Your children are not your children…For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.” I can tell them what I know about climate change but my knowledge is necessarily limited, no matter what I have or haven’t read. I can’t tell them about the future – I can’t even visit it in my dreams. But I can continue to have faith in them and in their tomorrows. I can continue the process of mothering and making, of giving away whatever I have made, including them.

“Meanwhile…” Mary Oliver says again, “Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,/ are heading home again./ Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,/ the world offers itself to your imagination,/ calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -/ over and over announcing your place/ in the family of things.”

Meanwhile, the world keeps on offering itself to you, whoever you are – the world, the geese in it and everything else, carry on gifting regardless. Isn’t that amazing? And my job, I think, in despair or in love, has to be to keep on offering my imagination back to the world, regardless. I will do that, even if all I can offer right now is a blog about despair.

One thing I offered to the world a few years back is a thing called Mothers Who Make. It is a grass roots, peer support network, growing across the UK and overseas. It is about announcing the place of two activities- mothering and making - in the world, over and over, keeping faith in their value no matter what, no matter how lonely or despairing any mother may feel.

If you are a mother and a maker, of any kind, you can come to a hub meeting and tell the other women there about your despair, and they will tell you about theirs. You can also tell them about what you love. And you do not have to be good. You can find out if there is a meeting near you here.

And if you cannot make it in person to a group, you can connect online - we have a lively Facebook community.

Mothers Who Make is currently unfunded and so if it feels like a good kind of gifting to you, an act of faith you can make, you can give us £3 per month, so that we can, meanwhile, go on – go on making and giving, making and giving, for now and for the future which we cannot visit, but which our children will.

3 notes · View notes

kewltie · 5 years

Text

a ‘what’s wrong with secretary kim?’ au where katsuki is the arrogant and tyrannical heir to a conglomerate and izuku is his capable and excellent secretary who is single handedly holding back his employees from starting an uprising and killing katsuki bc he’s a goddamn perfectionist bastard but now Izuku suddenly wants to quit and KATSUKI IS NOT HAVING IT :P.

on the anniversary of izuku’s 10th year with the company, AND TEN YEAR WORKING AS KATSUKI’S SECRETARY, there’s a big wide company celebration for it despite the fact that there are ppl who had worked there longer and in more powerful position than a mere secretary to the president, but izuku is like THE IDOL of the entire company and there’s a HUGE reason for that :P.

katsuki’s own this large business empire that date back to taisho period but it is mitsuki who truly shapes it to this powerful entity it is today. katsuki is the heir to this vast empire and he lives his life knowing what he has to do and how far he’ll have to go to reach it so he places an enormous amount expectation on himself just to live up to everyone view of him bc his mother is just so badass. this make him incredibly hard to work WITH and UNDER bc he’s set the bar so high and expect you not to leap but like skyrocket all the way to the fucking moon or something. he drives most of his employees insane with his perfectionism and micromanagement and like most president try to have some semblance of professional and distance b/t employer/emplyee status quo but katsuki breaks every rule by cursing daily and being a pain in their ass as he visits their floor to harassed them to get their work done in time. he’s very hands on and take no bullshit so if he doesn’t like something YOU WILL HEAR ALL ABOUT IT. this make the work enviroment extremely stressful and hectic for the employees but the one saving grace is THE AMAZING EMPLOYEE PACKAGE and IZUKU.

so even though katsuki make it HARD to work under/with him, his company (surprisingly) tops the list of best place to work at every single year bc of how their great employees benefit. there’s 40% discount on all their products for their employees, they get paid leave for a week at every quarter, mandatory paid vacation time that last 2-3 weeks, great maternity benefits, amazing childcare service at the company which provide 24/7 childcare bc the company never sleep, employment/raised/and rise in rank is based on a merit system so the population pretty evenly 50/50 male & female, the paid is extremely good, they have zero tolerance for sexual harassment, great healthcare coverage and even have psychiatric department for burnout/stress/etc, and their cafeteria food is sooooo good that most fine dinning. so even though it is highly competitive and stressful place that place exceedingly high expectation and workload on their employees, they have very low turnover rate.

that number can also be contributed to izuku bc izuku is the reason most of them don’t like murder katsuki out of rage and fear lol. izuku is beyond good at his job. he manages katsuki’s business and HIS LIFE and he does it with a friendly smile and a cheer. when katsuki order his employees to get this done in like today even though the workload is insane, izuku would bring them food and drinks, come into their office to check up on them, provide them keynotes on their project, run over their project with them, etc doing everything he can to assist them to get their work complete. he’s just so terrifyingly good at his job that everyone kinda joke how it would take a hundred people just to replace izuku bc izuku is pretty much the heart and soul of their company. katsuki may rule the company and dictate the direction of where they’ll go but izuku keeps everything running smoothly and get them there in time and in orderly fashion.

and it’s not just that he’s good at his job but izuku is the buffer b/t them and katsuki bc he’s is one of the few that can stand toe to toe with katsuki and LIVE. despite izuku always super friendly with everyone, he and katsuki often clash on how they see things and katsuki’s behavior which end in screaming matches sometimes lol. izuku is the peacekeeper and the negotiator between katsuki and JUST ABOUT EVERYONE. they know that rarely can they win katsuki over if they also don’t have izuku on their side too. EVEN HIS BUSINESS PARTNERS KNOW THAT bc everybody think this but nobody is willing to say it but izuku is prob the 2nd most powerful person in the entire company bc he got the ears of the president and though katsuki doesn’t hesitate to lash out at izuku, he always listen to what izuku got to say even as he reject them later lmao. he’s just really good with dealing with katsuki so many ppl defer to him whenever they have to report to katsuki bc izuku would keep him from like killing them when they don’t meet his crazy as fuck deadline/requirement/expectations.

SO YEA when izuku’s 10th year anniversary come along everybody is excited to celebrate izuku’s milestone and the next decade onward bc izuku is a stable in the company and everyone expect him to be around years and years bc any other thought would be UNTHINKABLE. katsuki even generously offer to fulfill any of izuku’s wish since it’s also their 10th year anniversary of izuku becoming his secretary, WHICH is hilarious and sad but it’s the longer either of them ever had with anyone. but on the night just as katsuki is ready make izuku’s wish come true like a new condo, a new car, etc which are all ridiculous presents bc izuku already got an apartment and A FUNCTIONAL CAR but rich ass ppl don’t really know moderation bc on izuku’s 30th birthday katsuki bought an island under izuku’s name JUST BC HE CAN and also, “so you can run away to it whenever i piss you off,” and izuku didn’t talk to katsuki for an entire day LMAO. anyway so YES izuku’s 10th year wish which katsuki assume would be something boring and entirely TOO feasible like new book collections by his fav writer but NOPE. it’s... “I want to quit, sir,” and katsuki is so shocked by izuku’s sudden request that he lit have a meltdown at izuku’s 10th year party which is at the roof of their company building with thousands of ppl. he stopped kicked everyone OUT just so he can properly yell at izuku bc WTFFFFFFFFF.

the thing is despite the amount of them katsuki had fire izuku (which is number in the hundreds by now), izuku had never left the job. he is just as dedicate to the company as katsuki and not once ever complaint about his work. complain about katsuki’s tyrannical demands YES but never the company or the people he work with bc HE LOVES IT. so this??? IS SO OUT OF THE LEFT FIELD THAT KATSUKI freaks out!!!!!! izuku has been with katsuki for soooooooooo long that katsuki took izuku’s constant presence as forever bc who else gets him the way izuku does?? it took him years to trained izuku to his expectation it’s going to take ages for him to train another person to replace izuku and just thinking about it MAKE HIM SO ANGRY BC DOES IZUKU KNOW HOW MUCH KATSUKI INVESTED IN IZUKU AND NOW HE’S JUST GOING TO WALK AWAY FROM IT ALL FOR NOTHING????

except izuku does have a reason and it’s his happiness. for ten years izuku dedicate his life to the company and katsuki. he does everything for them even putting his love life secondary and now that’s he’s into his 30s he realize how much life has passed him by. izuku wants to get fall in love and get marry. he wants to find his own happiness outside the company and katsuki and KATSUKI IS SO FUCKING CONFUSED AND LIVID. apparently, izuku was having his annual psych evals and talk with their psychologist and it made him reaize what he has been missing and he’d finally reach that point where he decided instead of putting others before him like he’d always did now it’s his turn to put himself first so yes HE’S QUITTING.

so katsuki storm onto the psych floor to yell at the company psychologist that they got on retainers for the employees (to deal with stress/ family issues/mental health etc but also mainly as a place to vent about work and HOW MUCH THEY WANT TO PUNCH KATSUKI IN THE THROAT) and demand to know what the fuck SHE HAD IZUKU INTO bc izuku would never thought to leave him if she didn’t put all that stupid nonsense in his head. she simply raises a brow and calmly ask katsuki to sit down to talk it over instead of yelling at her.

as soon as katsuki sits down she tells him, “it’s doctor-patient confidentiality, so i can not discuss what passed between me and midoriya-san,” and katsuki is one second from flipping her coffee table over but she continues unfazed, “but as he had explained to you, mirdoriya-san have always put others before him and rarely think of his own future but now he’s determine o chase his own happiness.”

and katsuki just shouts, “BUT I AM HIS HAPPINESS!!”

he stops. she looks at him evenly. he stares at her in horror. she smiles. and he knows he’d fallen into her trap because FUCK.

katsuki had been in love twice in his life and they were longstanding relationships but they never pass 3 years bc of work. OR SO HE THINKS. his work always come first and he goes into his relationship letting his partner know how important his work is to him and that they may be second place but that’s just the way it is. only two of the people he met and fell for accepted that part of him and when they do break up it’s bc katsuki didn’t put them first which katsuki is like??? BUT I TOLD YOU THAT ALREADY but at that time he didn’t get it. now with startlingly clarity, he realizes what they meant that they were okay with coming second to work but not coming second to IZUKU. katsuki had canceled dates and anniversaries bc of overseas meetings and last mins work but izuku is the only one he literally ditched a very important business meeting all the way in paris and flew back to japan bc he heard izuku got into an accident even though izuku insisted he was okay AND THAT HE ONLY GOT A CONCUSSION GEEZ KACCHAN PLS GO BACK. katsuki live his entire life w/o restrained but izuku is the one to make him willing to compromise and meet ppl in the middle. he never felt the lacking in wealth, respect, talent, and love bc he got it all. wealth from his family’s fortune, respect from the people around, talent from himself, and then love is from izuku.

their relation actualy gooooooooooo waaaaaaaaaay back. even before izuku started to work as katsuki’s secretary. few know of this but izuku’s mother work as housekeeper for katsuki’s family and izuku grew up alongside katsuki as his playmate. from the time katsuki was in diapers izuku was with him every step. izuku attended same elementary school, jr. high, high school, and even same college with katsuki. they literally been together all their life. everyone always assume that izuku only make it through such prestioug school bc of his connection with katsuki and that is sort of true bc mitsuki paid it all for izuku to attend bc she adores inko & izuku but that just mean izuku have to endure all the hate and jealousy thrown his way. he was burden by the fact that he was close to katsuki and that ppl think he’s a leech so izuku work extremely hard to be able to stand beside katsuki, to prove to everyone that he isn’t useless and that he can help katsuki. even when they got to same elite college, izuku refused mitsuki offer to pay his way in but did his best to win a scholarship just so he can be at the same school as katsuki bc for all katsuki’s mercurial temper, katsuki never rely on his talent to get him there but he pushed himself there. he admires katsuki deeply and wishes to stand on even ground with him so that one day he can help katsuki as he rises to the top. that’s his only dream. EXCEPT izuku never got to fulfill it bc in the middle of izuku second year, he suddenly dropped out bc his mom fell sick and inko & izuku who had always rely on the generosity of katsuki’s family decide the family had done enough for them so izuku left school midway to take care of his mother, disappearing from katsuki’s life completely.

katsuki literally went on a bender and his grades that semester suffered for it. in the end he pulled himself back together with the help of really great friends and katsuki swore he’ll never let anyone effect him like that again. his work & goals come first, everything else is secondary. that’s what he tell himself anyway but izuku always been the exception to every rule he’d made for himself.

it won’t be years until they meet again, when katsuki start as an executive position in the company and izuku comes to him as a new hire, looking to work right under katsuki. katsuki put IZUKU THROUGH THE RINGER AND PUSHED HIM MORE THAN ANY OTHER that everyone is convinced katsuki got it out for izuku but just smile and prevailed every obstacle that katsuki throw at him bc even more the stress of the workload, more than hours he spent up late at night getting it done, more than his own peace of mind, izuku want to work with katsuki again. WANTS TO BE WITH HIM so he keep on trying, keep on pushing himself to get it done. and he did. he does.

katsuki ofc found out why izuku disappear but he never ask why izuku chose to come back to him bc in the end the answer has always been in izuku’s smile. he had chased katsuki from their childhood and all the way into their college years and even though he was gone for several years, now he was back to chased after katsuki again. to choose out of all the company he can work for, HE PICKED THIS ONE, it said all he need to say. their life have been bound to each other from the start so yea katsuki never realize he’s in love with izuku bc there’s no aha moment, no light bulb moment bc izuku have always been there chasing after him and katsuki can always look over his shoulder and find izuku right there as sure as gravity bc how can he fall in love when he’s been standing on solid ground the entire time and izuku is the foundation of his everything.

now that he realize he’s going to lose izuku, the floor beneath him starts to crack and he realizes it’s his turn to give chase. HE DOES THE ONLY THING HE KNOWS HOW: propose to izuku LMAO. look, now that katsuki realizes that he has been in love with izuku all along so why the fuck should they date bc they’re practically been married for ten years on the job and have been running this fucking company together with their millions of kids. he can’t imagine running this company without izuku’s constant presence at his side dispensing advice and carrying out his orders to the absolute best of his ability. LIKE, everyone joke how izuku is katsuki’s wrangler but no izuku nickname in the company is the guillotine bc izuku is katsuki’s sword. when katsuki tell izuku to do something, he get SHIT DONE no matter what and izuku is sweet on everyone but the moment someone do something to mess with katsuki, izuku is a force to be reckon with. so yea these two alone themselves are terrifying but together they’re MONSTERS and they wont stop till they take you for everything.

so how can izuku wants to break that partnership up bc they’re sooo amazing together?? esp when katsuki can make izuku a hundred times more happy than anyone else. AND THEY DON’T NEED TO DATE WITH SO MUCH HISTORY B/T THEM. katsuki just want to get marry already bc he never half ass anything and marriage is most acceptable step for them even though it’s just a formality at this point bc he’s practically married to izuku already if not in reality but in their heart.

they literally broke all the rules/boundaries of employer/employee relationship bc they have keys to each other home, more than one time katsuki’s SO mention dating katsuki is like dating katsuki and IZUKU bc of how much izuku is involve not just his business but his life as well, and they’re so bound to each other that izuku (who actually dated a lot but they’re short live fling bc they can’t handle his job and him always prioritizing katsuki first) and katsuki never have a relationship last longer than their three decades with each other. they’re practically it for each other. now katsuki just need izuku to see it.

so yea he propose bc that’s just make sense (lmao). and izuku is like :||| NO THANKS bc izuku just assume it’s just another delayed tactic bc katsuki THAT DUMBASS is like ‘”if you quit the morale of this company will go down to a point where im sure they will revolt soon enough so marry me before that happen”. he wanted to say, “ME AND THIS COMPANY WOULD BURN TO THE GROUND W/O YOU THERE SO PLS MARRY US” but it sound like it’s all for the company and izuku is tired SO TIRED of doing everything just for the company and katsuki. he just want to do something for himself for once but katsuki wont let up and convinced izuku to go along with engagement for like 3 months bc if izuku is looking for love & Happy ENDING than katsuki will give it to him. who else can give him all that if not katsuki???

izuku is JUST SO TIRED but he decided to humor katsuki so katsuki can get off his back and let him leave. he never expected that katsuki make such concerted effort to woo him for real lol.

ofc their engagement causes a huge uproar among the employees which were already having a meltdown earlier bc they had heard about izuku wanting to quit and the number of people heading toward the psychiatrist floor was more than the last three years COMBINED bc the thought of losing the lone person who can keep katsuki from verbally murdering them all is panic inducing.

their engagement doesn’t really change anything in the status of their work relationship. katsuki continues to yell at people and izuku continues to play buffer but occasionally katsuki will slides his hand across Izuku’s own and they just touch fleetingly but it burns enough that izuku can’t stop thinking about it all day. it’s like suddenly every nerve cells in izuku’s body is awake and alive and they’re just realizing how much KATSUKI BOTHERS HIM. WHICH IS A LOT. like izuku already spent so much time with katsuki so he never notice it before but now everything feels purposeful and intimate in a way like a veil is removed over his head. it’s always been there but he just never see it before bc sometimes it’s hard to know what you’re looking for when you’re LITERALLY STARING RIGHT AT IT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

the slow seduction of izuku is HILARIOUS AND TROUBLING BC THEY DONT DO ANYTHING DIFFERENT YET EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT WHICH MADE IZUKU REALIZE ALL ALONG THEY ARE WORST THAN MARRIED BUT LIKE SOULMATES LOL. katsuki bringing izuku as his plus one to events is the same as when he brought izuku there as his secretary; izuku eating dinner with katsuki’s family as his fiance is like how he did like A COUPLE WEEKS AGO; izuku and katsuki spending time together doing work, doing grocery shopping (bc that’s a thing you apparenlty do with your secretary???), doing movies, etc is all NORMAL AND THE SAME but now there’s an undercurrent of something else, something bigger than izuku is afraid to name.

but izuku still think katsuki only keep this charade bc katsuki need izuku here so he would do anything to izuku. but actually katsuki doesn’t actually need izuku. he can MANAGE WITHOUT HIM. it won’t be easy but he can do it. he’s bakugou katsuki after all but... he doesn’t want to. he may not need izuku and there may be other options out there but he will always chooses izuku in the end. it’s just the way it is.

i just imagine a lot of drama IN DUE PART TO BEING ASIAN DRAMAS and misunderstanding before their 3 months is up and izuku realizing what exactly katsuki meant AND THEY’RE TOGETHER TOGETHER but they’re getting there :P. Slowly but yea!!

#bakudeku #not!fic #i watch too many asian dramas lbr #and TWO WEEKS NOTICE IS ONE OF MY FAV ROMCOMS!!!!#secretary au

145 notes · View notes

justlondonjobs-blog · 5 years

Text

Top 25 Suggestions For Finding A More Satisfactory Job

Is a job change to be able? Peruse the 25 most effective methods to job hunt. Whether it's time for fresh beginnings, and if you are searching for employment, it's a great time to ensure your priorities are in balance. Begin with some fundamental soul-searching, move to innovative networking, and conclude with the foremost ways to investigate prospective businesses. They are all sure approaches for getting a competitive advantage in the job market. But finding a job means more than becoming competitive. In the bewildering " new world " of technology-online boards, career centers, and growing amounts of complex internet sites-it does mean knowing the right path around. Listed below are 25 suggestions to figure out how to maximize your time and effort, your effectiveness, and your likelihood of success in the next career search! First and foremost-take an individual inventory. Job hunting offers you the chance to get back to "square one" and inventory yet again what you are about, what abilities and understanding you have obtained, and what you want to do. Who are you? What would you like out of life? Employment? A profession? Where are you heading? Do you know ways to get there? Are you happy in your work/career/profession? What do you want to switch? An inventory like this is the best job hunting method ever devised since it focuses your watch of your skills and talents plus your internal desires. You begin your job hunt by first identifying your transferable, practical, skills. Actually, you are determining the essential building blocks of your projects. Learn more information at JustLondonJobs.com

Apply right to an employer. Choose the employers that curiosity you the most from any resource available (web listings, yellowish pages, newspaper ads, etc.), and acquire their address. Appear on their doorstep at your 1st opportunity with resume at hand. Actually if you have no idea anyone there, this work hunting method works nearly half the time, in case you are diligent and continue your pursuit over weeks or months.

Ask relatives and close friends about jobs where they function. Request every relative and friend you have finally or have ever endured about vacancies they could find out about where they work, or where other people works. It might take a village to improve a child, nonetheless it takes a whole network to find a new job! If you tell everyone you know or fulfill that you are job hunting and that you would value their help, you more than quadruple your chances of success.

Search hidden job marketplaces. Networking is the "Hidden Job Marketplace." Because each time you speak to someone who is in direct line with your career interest, you setup the probability that he / she will cause you to more people, or to the work you would like. People are connected one to the other by thousands of pathways. A number of these pathways are available for you, nevertheless, you must activate them to create them work in your favor. The majority of the available jobs are in the concealed job market. They aren't outlined in the classifieds or positioned with a headhunter. See them through your network of contacts. This is your most effective resource!

Question a professor or aged teacher for job-leads. Nobody knows your capabilities, commitment, and discipline much better than an instructor or professor who experienced the opportunity to use you in college. Since more folks find their sort out immediate referral by other folks than by any various other way, that is a target viewers you do not want to miss

Spend more hours each week on your own job hunt. Finding employment is employment! Treat your task hunting just as you'll a normal job and function a standard number of hours weekly, at least 35, ideally 40 along the way. This will decrease dramatically on the amount of time it requires you to find work. Did you know the average indivdual in the work market only spends 5 hours or less per week looking for function? With that statistic, it is not surprising that it could be a long, tiresome process.

Improve your probabilities and demonstrate your self-discipline and dedication. Devote Sundays to answering advertisements and planning your technique for another week. Don't spend valuable weekday hours behind a pc. You have to be out there researching prospects, networking, and interviewing. Function smarter for yourself!

Concentrate your job hunt on smaller companies. Most new jobs should come from smaller sized, growing businesses, typically with fewer than 500 employees, not large, restructuring companies. Although larger companies are more visible, popular and aggressive within their search for workers, it is with small companies that you will find the best potential for success to find work. Pay particular focus on those businesses that are growing and on the way to prosperous development...they are easier to approach, simpler to contact important personnel, and less inclined to screen you out.

See more employers every week. If you only go to six or seven employers a month in your task search (which may be the average, incidentally), you will prolong your search and delay your successful outcome. That is one reason job hunting takes such a long time. If you want to see 45 companies to look for a job, it only is practical to see as many employers weekly as possible. Determine to observe no less than two employers weekly at a minimum amount! Do this for as much weeks as your job-hunt lasts.

Continue until you discover the type of employer who would like to hire you! Looking for a work is a numbers video game. The even more contacts you make, the more interviews you'll get. The even more interviews you have, the more offers you'll receive.

Be prepared for phone interviews. Would you think that over 50% of potential candidates are disqualified following the first phone contact is manufactured with them by an company? Nowadays, employers don't possess time any longer to interview every feasible applicant and so are using calls as a more affordable, less time consuming method to weed out possibly unqualified candidates. The telephone interview catches many people off safeguard. You might receive more than just one telephone interview, and you must pass all of them. The interviewer usually accocunts for his or her brain within the first 5 minutes. The remainder of that time period is spent just confirming first impressions.

Create a support group. It really is easy to obtain discouraged, depressed and despondent (the three D's) in the job-hunt procedure. This can be among the toughest and loneliest experiences in the globe and the rejection you might have to handle could be brutal, but it does not have to be. The key is in knowing that you aren't alone. There are literally hundreds of thousands of individuals looking for work, and you can synergy with one in the event that you select. Many job-hunting groups already can be found, such as the regional Chambers of Commerce and on the web organizations through the Internet.

Look for a partner, or a more substantial group, and support and motivate each other. The road to success generally is a telephone call away.

Contact potential employers straight through professional associations. Professional associations provide excellent networks to save you time. Almost all committed experts are users of at least a couple of professional networks. Generally membership carries a directory, which gives you with a primary networking source for verbal contact and mail promotions. Additionally, most professional associations keep frequently scheduled meetings, which offer additional opportunities to mingle together with your professional peers on a casual basis. Finally, professional associations all have newsletters that certainly are a valuable resource for other trade publications, associations, and help wanted sections.

Post your resume online. In today's world there are many resume databases on the web. Job hunters is now able to tap into giant on-line databases when launching a search just before interviewing. There are three main ways to work search electronically or on the web: Joblines, Bulletin Table Systems (BBS), and the web. Many employers today have their occupations accessible through a straightforward phone call.

You may also use the advanced Resume Caster feature in ResumeMaker to create your resume to all or any of the top career centers on the internet for a large number of hiring employers to examine. You can also utilize the Work Finder feature to find from among a lot more than 1 million online-listed job openings for a particular job name in the condition you specify. The info is all there, looking forward to you.

Promote yourself in exclusive ways. Advertising is creating an market of potential companies and making them alert to your qualifications. There are numerous non-traditional ways to make this happen task. For instance, use electronic resume solutions to broadcast your resume. List yourself in suitable trade association news letters. Prepare 3 x 5 Rolodex cards which contain your name, address, and contact number on the front side as well as your objective and abilities from your own resume on the trunk. Keep them behind wherever you go and present them to whoever has reason to contact you later in regards to a job.

Accept a temporary position or volunteer function. Be your own operating advertisement by accepting a short-term position. This gives you with valuable encounter, contacts, and references. Volunteer for organizations and actions with business sponsors and associations that increases your presence and personal contacts. Explore your options and leave all choices open. You by no means know which technique may ultimately property you your ideal work.

Make cold-calls. Up coming to face-to-face meetings, calling is the most reliable method available to find a work. Every call you make is a chance to sell you to ultimately a prospective employer, to pursue a fresh job opening, or even to get yourself a referral. Your technique in the original telephone call can possess a categorical effect on your chances to acquire what you need from the decision. Complete at least 15 calls each day. You'll be astonished at the outcomes. Always be agreeable, mild, and positive.

Smile when you speak; the listener will listen to it. Make a brief outline for every contact and rehearse it. Create short statements that outline ways to help your prospective company accomplish their goals. Usually, always, always ask for referrals.

Re-define your job hunt when it comes to alternative possibilities. Successful job hunters will have alternative plans prepared in the backdrop and put into action them at the initial sign of problems. Prepare alternative means of describing everything you do, substitute avenues of work hunting, choice leads and get in touch with lists, alternative target businesses and employers to get hold of, alternative methods to approach prospective companies, and alternative programs to continue your task hunt through its effective completion. The careers are out there-you simply need to become sure you are employing the right solutions to look for them.

Seek profession counseling or job hunting help online. Many providers, through the Internet, are providing career counseling services, work hunting guidance, and reference equipment that you can change to in your job hunt. The best of the services are free of charge, and the quantity is growing astronomically every year. Your first approach would be to go to the online career centers integrated with ResumeMaker and visit each site to know what services they need to offer. There exists a virtual community simply waiting to listen to from you.

Consider federal and municipality sources. The government is an enormous resource of potential job search information, accessible to you at little if any cost. Several Division of Labor publications, for instance, may take you through your task search from starting to end, and help with profession counseling and industry analysis. Call your neighborhood employment workplace and take benefit of the services they provide.

Make sure you may survive financially between careers. Cover the time you'll be searching for a job. It is usually helpful when you can get an overall view of how your cash will bring you through any work search or teaching you may want to take on. You should have enough concerns and issues to cope with and do not really want to take into account your finances.

Arranged and prioritize goals while job-hunting. You should know what you need, if not you can't require it. There are actually thousands of jobs open up around you. Know what it is definitely that you would like, set your targets for attaining this, and prioritize the actions that you'll ultimately have to take. The even more particular you are about your objective, the better your likelihood of obtaining the job you want.

Zero in on a profession position and research the market. Before you begin meeting people, you should know something about the market or field you would like to function in. The more you understand, the better your conversations with potential employers will be-and the even more impressed they'll be with you.

Interview others for info. Interview people whose occupations curiosity you. You can usually find anyone who has done a thing that at least approximates what you would like to accomplish. Find the titles of such individuals, and go see, mobile phone, or write them. Become familiar with a great deal that's highly relevant to your dream.

Organize a job search marketing campaign. Organize your job search campaign. Failing woefully to do so is usually a common flaw in lots of people's job search technique. Make an idea for your task search.

This entails: preparing and organizing your job strategy, establishing a base or procedures center for your task hunt, preparing components, and undertaking job search tactics.

Revise your resume and become prepared. Update that resume! A resume can be what almost everyone you strategy in your job search will ask for. Obtain your resume in good shape. Use a professional support or Resume Maker to get ready a show-stopping resume!

Keep yourself dedicated, strong, positioned, and constant. Job-hunting could possibly be among life's most stressful encounters. You have significantly more power to keep carefully the pressures of work hunting in order, however, than you might think. The main element is to concentrate your task search and stay solid, dedicated and consistent. Among the curious reasons for having the mind is that it targets only one point at a time. Therefore keep it centered on you-and finding employment!

1 note · View note

bookenders · 5 years

Text

The Conflict Sheet

I am notoriously terrible at coming up with plot. So terrible, in fact, that I’ve devised a system for thinking up things that could happen to move the story forward. I present to you: The Conflict Sheet.

In short, I take every relationship in the story and write as many complications that can come from it that I can think of. “Relationship” doesn’t just mean between people, either. It can be between factions, schools of thought, countries, laws, etc.

I do two kinds of conflict sheets: planning and in-story. Planning sheets are for, as you might have guessed, the planning stage of the story. If I have characters and a world and no plot, I will do one to think of things that can happen. In-story sheets are for when I get stuck in the action and need something to happen before I give up. What you have to keep in mind are the two pillars of any character: what they want and what they need.

Here’s a brief example of an in-story conflict sheet from one of my older stories:

Character B is a young soldier, talks big game, tells stories, and is little brother levels of annoying.

Character D is a medic, quiet, slow to anger, and is starting to feel guilty about his job.

What needs to happen: some sort of confrontation between these two that makes B chill out with the big talk and breaks D’s patience and sets them on equal footing.

Conflicts:

B tells a story D is annoyed with, confrontation ensues.

D and another character are interrupted by B saying something dumb, D tries to put B in his place

Character A asks D to do something, B gets jealous and talks smack, D smacks B

B calls D something really bad while telling a joke and D decks him across the face

B jokingly talks smack about a dying man, D gets up in his grill and yells at him

Now, these all seem very similar, and I could probably find a better example, but this is a tricky one so I’m using it.

There are minor tonal differences between each of these. 1, 4, and 3 place B in the position of aggressor, which changes the tone of their relationship. 2 and 5 are accidental incidents, as much as being an idiot can be accidental, and makes D the aggressor. Then there’s the matter of being out of character. 5 is out of character for D, since he doesn’t talk much and values his actions over his words. 3 and 5 are out of character for B; he doesn’t get jealous of his friends or of favoritism, and would never joke about death like that.

So that leaves 1, 2, and 4.

This is when I look at the rest of the story as a whole. B has already told a few stories at this point and built his reputation as an embellisher who is aware of everyone else’s annoyances with him, so 1 is off the table. The talking head format of the story and the way I’m doing dialogue doesn’t support 2, because the characters never directly talk to each other, so that one is out. That leaves 4, which is entirely in character for both of them and fulfills the scene requirement I set.

Hooray!

And here’s a planning conflict sheet I made for my TV series between the protagonist and main antagonist:

Camilla (protag) and Laurence (antag)

Camilla: always been an underling, member of Laurence’s crime syndicate, left to fend for herself from a young age, afraid of being alone, wants independence and revenge, makes a living as a brawler/thief, wants to become a professional gladiator

Laurence: grew up decently wealthy, owes his life to the criminal organization he now leads, desperate to stay at the top, paranoid of mutiny and betrayal, control freak, needs to keep his family safe and hidden

Conflicts:

L thinks C is trying to depose him, tries to kill her first

C steals from L, L plots revenge without C knowing he is aware of her betrayal

C tries to get out from underneath L’s boot by making her own money away from the crime syndicate in secret, L finds out and plots to ruin her life

L fears C is out to get him, contracts a healer to bind their life force to his and prevent his possible assassination

That healer is C’s friend

L sends one of C’s crime buddies to spy on her - Double conflict

C discovers L’s family without knowing it’s his family, L overreacts and sends too much force to take her out

L spreads rumors to destroy C’s reputation, affecting her thieving and brawling

C uses a rival organization to distract L as she digs for information and a way to escape L’s control

Each of these can become future plot points. Most involve just the 2 characters, but some of them also involve aspects of the world that have a huge influence on how the story develops, like the presence of healers and life contracts, rival crime people, and the brawler’s guild. As your brain tries to come up with more ideas, you can see they’ll get more specific. I started with “tries to kill her first,” which is pretty vague, and end up with a specific action that aims to get a specific result.

Once you get your baseline conflicts, you can expand them by looking at the world around the characters - if they make this choice, how does it ripple? Hopefully by this point, the conflict sheet will have done its job: getting you to think about the story as a web - when you pluck one string, all the ones connected to it are affected.

Questions? Ask ‘em! Comments? Make ‘em!

For more writing advice and observations, check out my advice tag.

#writing #fiction #conflict #writeblr #craft talk #conflict sheet #appendix #plotting #advice #writing advice

7 notes · View notes

kpopisthereasonihavenolife · 6 years

Text

Fidelity

Genre: Vampire!AU, Romance, Smut

Words: 13.3k

------------------------------------------

Fidelity: Noun - faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support

Gif does not belong to me, creds to original owner!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vampires. Ancient, charming mythical creatures that have been living through stories and tales for centuries. In the present day, there are few that believe vampires existed, fewer that believe that they still exist now; living amongst the human race. There are stories of all kind on the race of creatures.

Some believe they were being capable of having a soul, while others think they can never possess a soul. People believe that humans were capable of turning other humans into vampires, but others think the opposite; vampires are the ones converting humans. Some say they drink every last drop and swallow the soul of a person to change them, others say that the vampire must mix their own blood with the human they wish to turn and have them consume it.

The stories and tales are endless, but however you look at vampires, fact or fictions, they were or are just like any other species or race. Some value, or at least respect, other races and don’t attack them unprovoked, while some are horrendous demons that do what they want, when they want with their own permission to do so.

Mythology is a giant topic of research and interest that many people delve into, whether it be for studies or for their own enjoyment. One will always stumble upon vampires, like it or not, when shifting websites or books about ancient times and stories.

However, just like stories, they became part of the past. Vampires are just stories now in the 21st century. The world is prospering with technology, countries are still at war, people still have to fight for what they want if they are thought of as wrong by society, not everyone is happy but regardless, the world is still turning and growing older each passing day. However, unlike now, back in the past, in a specific part of the world, vampires were very much real.

A conglomerate that was primarily created and run by a family of vampires. The Shin family was the one family in the center of the business, vampires of other families working under them. They didn’t keep their secret, a secret. At least, within the radius of 120 miles of the city they lived, every human knew what they were, who they were. The Shin’s never acted harshly, or reacted in a cruel manner, so the townsfolk never did anything to possible provoke them into a frightful atmosphere.

The Shin main family wasn’t the largest, but also wasn’t small by any standards. The head of the household, and their only son were the center of it all. The son had aged into a very handsome 25 year old man physically, but he never let anyone know his true age, other than his parents who knew it to begin with. He was intelligent, had charm as well as the looks to capture attention.

He was Shin Hoseok.

A lean, but muscle man that had pheromones pouring from every pore in his body. He was attractive, a fact that wasn’t arguable. Anyone could look at him, or glance, for just a moment and they’d be entranced by his looks. His body was muscular as can be, but with the way he dressed sometimes one couldn’t be able to tell right away unless his shirt clung to his arms. His brunette hair was almost always tussled about, but only added to suave-like nature. His eyes were normally brown, but when his instincts can into play, they would fade into a shade crimson.

The young single son was to be moved into his own private manor just outside the city. He preferred a life of as little annoyance and publicity as possible, so he made sure to inform his parents of his preferred living conditions. However, that was just to try to soften the man up to the idea of his marriage. Or rather, his parents finding him a bride.

Sacrificial brides. They were young, virgin women who could work with a an able body to fulfill the needs of her husband. The women chosen to wed a vampire had many tasks, and duties and none of which could be argued with. If you were chosen, you had no say in the yes or no. You were to do just as you were told and finally you’d have to accept that once you hit a certain age, you would die. A requirement is to be able, so when a bride hit the age of 35, their husband would take their life and begin searching for a new bride.

So when he was told that he was to be moved, and wed to a wife of his parents choosing, he couldn’t care less. He didn’t care about what relationship he was going to be pushed into. He hadn’t been involved in the ways of ‘love’ before, so he was confident that nothing would happen and no strings would be attached regarding himself or his wife. But, Hoseok had been wrong before.

He was a bit relieved when he was told he wouldn’t be marrying another vampire from a different family. At least in this way, if his so called wife got on his nerves, the time to her 35th birthday would basically fly to someone like him. So, on the perception of his time moving quicker than humans, he found himself removing himself from a his transport carriage and standing in front of his new manor.

Hoseok’s sharpened ears picked up the sound of the wind rustling the leaves and the faint sounds of the already employed servants moving and doing their chores. The scent of the forested area filled his nose as it mixed with the scent of the servants, the vampire servants. It almost annoyed him that his new home was employed with other vampires, but at least in this way, he wouldn’t have to constantly replace the staff. Less work for him.

His parents weren’t exactly quiet when it came to choosing a bride for him. They’d figure out what kind of woman would suit him, and one that was healthy and able to be able to ‘suit his needs’ if time and circumstance calls for it. He refused to get involved in it though, leaving it up to them. He couldn’t care less; he just spent his time he had in his new home in his study.

Hoseok found peace in education and knowledge. He would put his work of studies various things ahead of most matters and if he wanted to relax, he would pull on of his many books from his library and read for the afternoon. He’d always imagine what it was like, living in the past before he was born, and his mind even wandered to what it would be like being human, but he never dwelled on it.

He had just barely broken into his new home within a week when he received word that his parents had found a suitable bride and she would be taken to the manor immediately. So, later that evening when he was told that a carriage was approaching the manner, he silently groaned as he stood to leave his study. He should at least greet his guest for the next 2 decades.

He stood outside this home, arms crossed and a book rested in one hand as he read, waiting the carriage to completely arrive and come to a halt. The door was opened and Hoseok peeked over the book and his glasses rim to see a young woman being helped out of the small cabin. His brows raised a first, surprised with how she appeared.

You were a rather beautiful human. Your hair was long as it was pulled up to rest on the back of your head in a bun. You seemed to be given a dress to wear that matched the forested area with colors of caramel, brown and white. However, you didn’t react as he had originally planned. Your eyes remained downcast and your face never changed from the emotionless expression you came with.

Before he could properly attempt to greet you, another woman emerged from the carriage: his mother. She stood beside the human girl and ushered her inside. You offered Hoseok one single polite bow as you were lead inside by a servant and Hoseok was left with his mother.

“A rather silently human, that’s odd.” Hoseok watched your back as he spoke his first opinion on you.

“Indeed. The child would keep her voice locked away. Apparently, no one has heard her speak in years.”

“Where did you find her mother?”

“An orphanage. She had been there when her mother had slaughtered her father and then took her own life out of grief of living in poverty. Humans are such weak creatures, taking life for such small things.” As vampires, they couldn’t understand the struggle of not being able to eat, or trying to find a place to sleep. They couldn’t imagine what it was like when you had to work so hard and still not be able to be happy.

“At least she is quiet.”

“I knew you’d prefer a silent woman son.” With a few more words of exchange, his mother got back in the carriage and left the manor, wishing her son the best of luck with his new fiance. It almost felt like nothing had changed in his home, even with your arrival.

You were silent and did your work and chores without discussion and with precision. You’d move from one chore to the next wordlessly and without complaint, almost like a doll or puppet with strings attached to it’s back and it’s mouth sewn shut. Hoseok thought that he’d prefer this, but along the course of time, he’d start watching you more and more.

He’d watch from his study window as you would work in the gardens and tend to the numerous bushes of flowers. When he got tired of watching you from his window, he’d move his time to spend reading to the garden at a small round table and chair. He’d ask that you bring his tea to him in the garden as he read, and you sometime didn’t bring tea, but a small flask of blood that you’d fill his teacup with.

He was startled the first time you did. When the scent of blood filled his senses instead of tea or coffee, he’d watch as you emotionlessly grab his cup and pour in the thick substance and offer it to him without even batting an eyelash. Most humans would feel anxious at least about serving their vampire arranged husband a teacup full of blood. You were doing as you were instructed from staff and then tended to the garden once you were finished with Hoseok.

It had been nearly a month since you came into the manor, and he still hadn’t gotten your name. Ridiculous, yes, but how could he. You hadn’t spoken, and his mother never passed that information to him. It was one afternoon, his legs were crossed as he sat in the gardens, a book propped open as he read, his glasses sitting on the tip of his nose. As you finished filling his cup with his tea, you weren’t to walk off, but Hoseok couldn’t focus on his book.

“Wait a moment.” He hadn’t spoken directly to you before, so it startled you, jolting your shoulders a fraction as you stopped and turned to look at him. He shut his book, his finger between the pages to save his spot as he rested the book on his crossed leg. “I’d like to ask a few questions if you don’t mind.” He motioned his head towards the vacant seat across the small table from him, as you slowly sat down, thinking maybe he was testing you.

“Relax. I’m not going to do anything. I’m merely curious about a few things.” You nodded at him, as you seemed to relax slightly. “My mother was the woman who brought you here, she told me you came from an orphanage?” You nodded as he leaned back a bit and took the glasses off his face with his free hand and tossed them on the table. “So why, if I may be so bold, would someone who has been surrounded by humans of all kinds, not capable of speaking? Are you unable to from birth?” You shook your head.

You were capable of speech, you’d read to yourself or mutter in solitude so that you still had a voice that worked as it should, but you’d almost never let people hear. It scared you; speaking in front of, or too others. It shouldn’t now that all the threats and torment isn’t around you, but the scars still ache.

“Well, as a start,” your attention was back on Hoseok, “I’d like to know why you don’t speak some time. Maybe not at this moment, but soon. I do want one thing from you now though.” He stared at you, making it so you could break eye contact. “What is your name. You’ve been here this long, and yet it’s still blank to me.”

You stared at your fingers, twiddling them. Your face just slightly twisted in discomfort. “Take your time,” was all Hoseok told you as silence flooded the outside air around you two. It was a few minutes before you geared yourself up to say at least your name. You took a breath, and looked at Hoseok, who had been looking at you the entirety of the wait.

“Y/N.” You voice wasn’t as loud as you wanted it, but Hoseok’s heightened hearing picked up on it loud and clear. He offered you a smile as he reached to grab and place his glasses back on his face.

“Well, Y/N, I do hope you’ll start joining me for tea whilst I relax after you tend to the flowers. I’d like to enjoy your company and teach you to speak more. Especially around me.” You cracked open his book again as you watch his eyes scan the pages in a speed you wish you could achieve. “I’d also like you to tell me why your voice is locked up don’t forget.” You hadn’t been told to actually talk before, so it was odd to be hearing his request.

“I’ll… try my best.” You voice was a whisper, but the words came out easily. A small smile was put on Hoseok’s face as you lifted yourself from the chair and excused yourself from the table.

It was that first day that made Hoseok always look forward to his time in the garden. As time passed, your speak more and more to him each day and he’d even over hear you speak to the staff or just listen to you mumble to yourself while you worked.

During one of your afternoon chats, he had learnt that the reason you didn’t speak was that your voice scared you. When you were a child, before you were in the orphanage, your father made you and your mother’s life hell. Always shouting, hitting, throwing things, making chaos over nothing and never letting you out of that prison of a house. You were taught that if you spoke, you’d get hurt, so you didn’t. You adapted to staring at feet and doing as you were told, never meeting someone’s eyes.

One day, your mother had had enough and during a fight, she took the bottle of booze from his hand and shattered it against his skull. She didn’t stop though, when his body hit the ground, she sat in his chest and attacked his head and throat with the shards of shattered glass. After that, she took her own life in the same fashion.

All in front of you.

You had somehow convinced yourself your voice was the reason your mother went crazy, why your father was a monster, and why they both ended up dead in one single afternoon. After that, you were picked on by the older kids in the orphanage because of you silent and ‘creepy’ nature. When you were chosen to come here, you weren’t too shocked, because life would still carry on.

Hoseok never felt anything towards humans,there was no point if their life was significantly shorter than his and they’d leave him in the end. He had no desire to become attached to one, much less a woman. But, it happened anyways. Your demeanor, your silent and your voice, your approach to life and your story, it all enthralled him.

It had been 2 months now, your scheduled marriage occurring not yet for another 3 months. But, if he had any doubts on how infectious you were, how you affected him, all of his doubts were drowned out with the first time you smiled at him on that second month day.

Now, he wanted to be with you every second he got. He wanted to beside you and hear you, listen to your voice and see your smile. He ever went to the extent of standing with you as you prepared meals, walk the gardens with you at your tended to the plants and even went so far as to helping you with small tasks in your chores so that he could be with you that much longer.

Hoseok didn’t know what you did to him, but he loved it. He felt happier now, happy seeing you and being beside you. But, even his mind has a darkness. He came to terms with his feelings, but the haunting in the back of his head always reminded him of your 35th birthday. He didn’t know what would happen, he was to kill you, take your life when you turned 35, but as he stands now, his feelings would only go to increase in time. He didn’t think he’d be able to take your life from you, now or ever.

The more time he spent with you, he always made sure to not do certain things. You had told him before you didn’t mind if he had a cup of blood other than tea or coffee. He did need it to some extent to survive, like you needed water, but he always refused. Hoseok was scared that if he did, he’d repulsive or frighten you, and that was the number one thing he didn’t want to happen. He wouldn’t drink it in front of you and he’d keep the topic of vampires in general away from the table. He wanted to pretend to be human with you.

Even though you had opened up to him, and were speaking like you never spotted the majority of your life, you were still obedient to a fault. Hoseok had wanted you to become a wife to him, not because of a ritual, but because he fell in love with you. He wanted to marry you for real, and in the back of his head, his deepest desire was to take your humanity and make you like him.

He knew, that if he brought this up, he’d probably receive your answer as you’d let him do it but out of reflex since your obedient nature can’t bring you to say no. He didn’t want to do want he wanted only, he didn’t want to be selfish, he wanted what you wanted. He would hold himself back for your sake, your smile, your voice and life.

More months passed and soon it was the fifth month and within the end of the current week, the two of you would be married. Hoseok’s mind was going crazy and he needed to talk with you. So, the day before the wedding, he called you out to the garden, just as you normally would be. He waited with his book, appearing to read but not focusing on it at all.

He had called for you to meet him, yes, but something else was requested of you from him. Thinking about what it was in the current time made him want to slam his face into the table, but when you came into his view, he basically had to plant his feet onto the ground and push himself in his chair to keep from springing up.

You were carrying the tray of teacups, the kettle and assortments, but your attire is what made him bite at his lip. He knew this was a bad idea, and you were shoving that in his face without even knowing it.

He had dropped a small box into your arms in the manor, telling you to wear what was in it for the day, or least for the time you were going to be with him. He told her to only wear what’s in the box, and nothing else. If there was no shoes, don’t wear them, no ties in the box, keep your hair down etc.

So here you were, standing in front of the small table, preparing the tea is a fully laced, white dress that was easily see through. Underneath the dress was a pair of matching white undergarments, the piece that covered your breasts being strapless. A black choker was around your neck, with three different pendants hanging from it: two mirrored crescent moons on either side of a full one. Your hair was down, as per requested and you didn’t even have shoes on.

His leg began to bounce as he crossed it over his other and tore his eyes away, taking breaths to keep himself in check. It was ridiculous how incredibly obviously you could be. The silence between the two of you wasn’t rare, as you sat and took small sips of your own beverage while he stared at the pages of his book. You took time to admire his form.

It’d be a lie to say that he hadn’t grown on you. It was confusing at first when he stuck to your side and wanted to stand with you or help you with small tasks at random times, but it became something precious to you. You’d find yourself watching with a smile as he furrowed and raised his brows when you asked him to do something and he hadn’t the faintest idea on what you just told him, or what to do.

He was intelligent, that much was very clear, but he wasn’t cut out for the standard housework of a regular human. Just remembering the times you’ve seen him mess up or just stand like a lost child brought a small, endearing smile to your lips. Something, Hoseok didn’t miss.

“What’s got that smile on your face?” His voice was playful as he lowered his book ever so slightly. You shook your head briefly.

“Oh nothing, just lost in thought.” He nodded at that, as he spoke up again.

“Speaking of thoughts, I wanted to speak with you, if that’s alright.”

“Of course.” You had placed your teacup onto the table and sat in a more upright position, hands resting on your lap, in the crease of your thighs where they meet. Hoseok slowly shut his book, glancing at the page number before he set it on the table and then removed his glasses from his face, folding them and putting them on the hardback cover.

“As you’re very much aware, we are to be married tomorrow.” You nodded. “Have you finished your tasks for the day, preparation wise.” You nodded again.

“I have. I was fitted for a gown a few days ago, and all the arrangements from invitations to seating decorations are all finished and ready to be set up in the morning.” He nodded briefly.

“I see. Very well.” He wanted to tell you. Tell you so bad how he really felt, and how he was actually happy that you’d be marrying him. You could tell something was on his mind. The one thing about Hoseok was that he wasn’t a difficult person to read. He was, ironically, an open book so to speak.

“Hoseok.” He jolted as you spoke towards him.

“Yes?”

“What’s on your mind.” He wasn’t surprised that you could see his distressed state. He knew that you grew up with so many personalities around you, so you developed a very specific set of skills when it came to observations, and when it came to him, it was like your skills were heightened.

“Do you really want to know…?” His voice was lower than it had been before. It worried you, as it sounded almost solemn; scared. You nodded at him as he rose from his chair to move and stand in front of you. He grabbed a lock of your loose hair and ran in his fingers through it as he let it fall back against your chest and then lowered to his knees in front of you.

“Hoseok-”

“You.” You were cut off form asking him if he was alright, when he spoke over you and gently grabbed both of your hands into his. “It’s always you.” He grasps your hands tighter in his own as he brought them up to rest on his forehead as he lowered his gaze away from your eyes.

“You’re always on my mind, since the first day you came into my life, you haven’t left it. I need you to listen to me, and please don’t think that I’m saying this to just ease you of your nerves because of who- what- I am.” You silence he took as a reply that you’d listen to anything he said and listen to it seriously.

“I think- I no longer wish to marry you as a sacrificial bride.” You had already felt your body grow jittery. If he didn’t want you as the planned sacrifice, then what else is left. “My desire is to wed the human woman I fell in love with. I fell in love with you, [F/N].” Your body seemed to freeze. It was stunned, but it wasn’t a negative response to his sudden confession.

“I realize that no matter what I say, the fact of the matter if, you’ll be my wife whether we both hated the idea or not. I’m scared that you’ll reject me. The things I’ve thought, what I’ve wanted to say and do can be frightening to a human woman. However, I can and will promise you something. Whether you hate me or no, starting tomorrow, as your husband, I will keep you safe. I’ll do my best to keep you happy, healthy, safe and even when the day comes when I have to- to….” He choked on his words, not being able to verbally speak of his intent to kill you one day.

“I would give anything to keep from taking your life in the future. I don’t want to do that, I would rather risk the punishment of refusing to kill the sacrificial bride, but then someone else would take your life, and I couldn’t bare to see that happen right in front of me.” His mind was working a mile a minute, and words and phrases were forming in his head and coming out of his mouth without much of a filter at this point.

“I want everything from you. I’ve gotten greedy. I don’t know what you did to me, but whatever it is, it’s made my greedy. I want your voice, your body, your smiles and laughter. I want to take everything from you, even your innocence as a woman. It’s a known law that the bride must be a virgin, and I want to change that. I want to change it- I want you- so bad.”

His forehead pushed further into your hands that were still captured in his larger ones. You were beyond stunned at this point. It was like all the background noises died. You were deaf to the wind, the sounds of the animals in the forested garden, the birds, the moaning of the manor as it settled in the wind, hell, even the sunlight when dimmer to you, as Hoseok was shining so much brighter. All that was heard was Hoseok as he poured his heart, that didn’t beat, out to you.

It was a moment before you wrapped your head around everything. You felt the tremble in his fingers and the breaths he took as he huffed just close enough for your to feel him on your knees. You knew what he was doing must’ve been so difficult for him, and you weren’t going to leave him in the dust. You’d response just as you wanted, as you too had grown just as greedy as he.

“Then why don’t you take it then?”

Hoseok lifted his head quickly, his tasseled brown locks fluttering in front of his left eyes, covering it. He was clearly shocked, not expecting to hear your sudden response to his heart’s desire. You breathed out a smile and freed on of your hands to push his bangs back to view his entire face.

He was just as handsome as the first time you saw him. Back then, you were empty, not caring as you lived like an obedient doll. Now, thanks to him, things had changed. You had learned to smile again, learned to initiate conversation and even ask for small things when you needed or wanted them.

“What?” His voice almost seemed strained as he asked. The way your fingers brushed his cheek and ran through his hair seemed to be the only thing he clung to, hoping that he wasn’t having another one of his dreams only to wake up and find you hadn’t truly accepted him.

“Hoseok, we’re getting married tomorrow because of the pure chance your parents decided to pick a poor, pitiful orphaned woman with nothing to use as a reason to run.” The smile on your face almost made Hoseok tear up. Eyes gleaming, but not as brightly as a moment ago as you relived the trauma of your past, the same past you mentioned to him once when you started speaking to him. You kept running your hand through his hair, keeping his hair from obscuring his face as he leaned slightly into your palm each time it touched his head.

“The fact is, even if I didn’t want to marry you, I wouldn’t have a choice.” Hoseok wanted to move his eyes away from your gaze. He knew that. Even if you weren’t happy, you were bound to him and that was something not even he could fight his parents about. “We’ve been with each other for five months, and I know that those first two were probably the hardest for you. I didn’t want to be a part of this in the beginning. I was scared that I was going to be neglected just as I had been before. I thought nothing would change just because I was brought in as some random man’s wife, much less a vampire’s.” You close your eyes as you smiled sweeter and breathed out calmly. “But, that was in the beginning.”

“And now? How to do you feel now? Are you still scared?” Hoseok could barely get his voice past a whisper as his own anxieties were mixing in his chest. He saw your nearly bare chest rumbled through the lace of your dress as you chuckled at him, fingers stopping due to a snag in his bangs.

“Scared? What do I have to be afraid of? You’ve been nothing but so kind to me. You never treated me as just ‘another human’, you always watched what you did or said in front of me, even if I didn’t mind. You treated me how a gentleman should treat a woman. I can’t explain things very well yet, but I’ll always be thankful for you talking to me first. Getting me to open up and learn how to feel warm again, I’m so very grateful for you, Hoseok.”

Hoseok was so thankful. He gripped the hand he held in both of his larger ones tighter as he lowered his head and pressed your knuckles to his forehead. He clamped his eyes closed as relief washed over him like a tidal wave, almost so much he wanted to cry. He was so afraid; afraid you would fear him or distance yourself from him if he acted like he had this afternoon.

The dress he had given to you was for him to see how pure your untouched body was before they were wed. The white that barely concealed your body was to show your untainted innocence and purity. He had always caught glimpses of the scars you had told him about from the children at the orphanage who bullied you as a child, but he had so wanted to see them. When you called them ugly once, he knew you were lying, for as hard Hoseok’s eyes could look at something, he could never find anything other than outstanding beauty to describe the woman he loved. The human he loved.

The choker was a sign of your being with him through every cycle and phase of the moon and its rotations. Blackened out, fully brightening the night sky, never coming above the horizon or making itself seen only during the time when the sun should reign alone, you’d be at his side. Finally, your long hair that you had always pulled back, he always thought you looked beautiful, but with your hair loosely falling on your back and covering your shoulders, something about it stirred in him. He wanted to brush it, to kiss it and tell you how much he loved you with your hair loose, it increased your looks more than he could describe.

“So,” Hoseok took a breath as he spoke more clearly to you, “you’re content with marrying me? You’ll be happy with me?” The hand that brushed his hair, rested on his head and he could feel your thumb stroking it, sending shock-waves of comfort through his body. He felt so relaxed. Your touch soothed him, your sweet scene had the same effect alcohol would have on a human and your soft skin felt like a scarf of velvet.

“I’ll always be happy with you. I do love you after all.” Your voice peeked in confidence as Hoseok’s breath was taken for a time. He didn’t move, he couldn’t even register if he was breathing or not as his eyes opened. Had he been so caught up in the atmosphere of his admiration, had he misheard you speak? Had he really hit the point of hallucination to the point of putting words into his head with your voice attached to them? Hoseok lifted his head as he looked at your face again, searching to see if the words he heard, matched the expressions on your face.

Your eyes were shining much brighter than he had seen before and your lips were pulled back just enough to show your teeth. A small dimple formed on the corner of your mouth as your brows were raised with your soft expression. The words he heard and the emotion match, so perhaps… maybe he wasn’t imagining things?

“I’m sorry; could you repeat what you just said?” His voice took on a pleading sound to it, making you look down at him, giggling slightly. A sound that was like bells to Hoseok’s sensitive ears.

“I’ll say as many times as you’d like my dear fiancé.” The sound of you referring to him as your betrothed was almost enough to spend him into frenzy. “I love you, Shin Hoseok. I’ll be more than happy being your bride.” Hoseok seemed to nearly rip one of his hands from your smaller one he had kept cradled and warm in both of his. His now free hand reached up and gripped the back of your neck, his nails almost dragging over your skin as he pushed up with his knees slightly and pulled you down to him.

Hoseok’s restraints, he tried so hard to keep together, were slowly being ripped like wet paper. He hungrily pressed his lips to yours, your shock giving him the perfect chance to explore your mouth. It was warm, just like your skin and tasted just as you smelled: sweet and addictive. He felt your hand, that wasn’t being held in his, rest on his shoulder as he stood more and more, beginning to tower of you. With the gaining height and the small whimpers coming from you beneath him, he could only deepen the kiss further and further. He almost feared pulling away, fearing the taste of you wouldn’t last nearly as long as he wanted it to.

He removed his lips from your own, leaving you with loud gasps as he moved his tongue down your neck, onto your shoulder. He could still taste you, and the taste your skin had as opposed to your mouth was enough to make him curious about where your might taste different. He resisted the urge to sink his sharpened teeth into your flesh as he heard your ragged breathing. He bit down on his own lip, resting his forehead on your shoulder now. His hand that held you behind the neck moved to rest on your hip that rested in the chair. He could feel the tremors in your body and the shaking of your thighs.

“Fuck….” The tone he used almost startled you for a moment, but that was soon was replaced with attraction as you were slowly calming down and regaining your sense. However, there was a fire in your stomach that he had created and that only seemed to be growing stronger the longer he touched you and held you this close to him.

“I apologize. I was too rough, wasn’t I?” His voice was breathy as you could feel his harsh breaths on your shoulder. You shook your head, if you were being completely honest, you never wanted the feeling of his lips on yours, the sensation of his tongue making your mind hazy, to disappear. You craved it, almost like a drug and you had only had one taste of it.

“Y/N, I meant what I said. I want only to take everything from you, your name, your humanity, your life, your heart and your innocence. I want it all. I’m greedy, much greedier than you believe me to be. I’ve tried my best to be a gentleman, but it’s getting harder to suppress this.” The warmth of his breath that slightly damped your skin and the fleeting contact his lips had with your shoulder made you whimper as the skin almost heated to a point of burning.

Your hand that rested on his shoulder, moved slightly to hold onto the fabric of the front of his white button up shirt.

“I told you, just take it. What you want, I’ll give it to you.” Hoseok let a low growl vibrate through his throat as he shifted his head just enough to attach his lips to your neck again, slowly pulling your collar of your dress down to feather kisses and nips at your chest and clavicles.

“Once I start, I won’t be able to stop. Now’s the last chance you’ll get darling.” Hoseok had only ever called you by your name, so the little action of calling you something so endearing almost made you whine. The burning in your gut was intense as you pressed your thighs together; hoping that the small bit of pressure would let you gain some control of your body back.

“You don’t need to stop. Please, don’t stop.” Raspy breaths came from your throat as Hoseok pulled away from you. His hand moved from your hip and released your hand at long last. Just as you were able to try and gain your breath, afraid you had stepped out of line, you felt herself being lifted from the chair you previously sat in. Hoseok’s built arms cradled you as you rested against his chest, your hands clutching to his chest, nearly popping buttons out of their holes.

“Not here.” He barely grumbled, more to himself than to anyone else, as he moved with you in his arms. He stepped inside the manor, expertly navigating into his own chambers on the second floor, across the hall from your own separate room. He quickly twisted the knob of the door, just enough to unlatch it and pushed it open with his back as he turned. Stepping inside with haste, he kicked the door shut behind him, the sound of it slamming echoing in the halls.

With only a few strides, Hoseok was at the end of his bed where he carefully sat the woman he loved on the edge of it. He removed your grasp from his shirt as he turned and walked back to the door. He locked the knob, even went to the extent of pulling the chain lock he had put on himself. It was that second lock that kept him in his own room at night, it’s that small thing that reminded him and stopped him from wandering into your room and driving himself crazy. He smirked as the reason he put it in was now the opposite as to why it was being locked now, to keep you inside and everyone else out.

He turned back to gaze at you on the bedside. It was quite the most unusual time for such activities, as it had just barely passed noon, but Hoseok wasn’t going to wait anymore. Anymore of that and he’d probably burst.

His nimble fingers lifted to begin to pull out the buttons from his shirt, brushing by the unseemly wrinkles you’d put into his shirt from your grip. One by one the buttons were freed, revealing more and more of his toned chest as he stepped over to you again. Standing in front of you, he pushed your shoulders back, to where you flopped against the mattress, legs hanging off the edge of the bed and back sinking into the plush bedding.

One of Hoseok’s legs was position between your own and the other was on the edge of the bed, pushing and holding himself up as he had his hands on either side of your head, towering over you, looking down at your body trapped beneath him.

“As you said, I’ll take everything from you. Everything, but one thing. I will not change you. You will stay human, that is until I say so.” His face broke into a grin that you found much too attractive for your own sake. “Your answer, princess?” You wanted to answer, but your throat just wouldn’t work. You only nodded as Hoseok out a chuckle. “You already can’t speak; I do hope you’re at least able to say my name.” He leaned down and placed the plush flesh of his lips against your ear. “You owe me that pleasure at least.”

“Ho..seok.” It was quite, and broken into two, but it was still his name. If anything the way you said it only stirred his animalistic urges more. He had got you this worked up over something so trivial as a kiss and small nips at your neck. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip before he worked it around your ear, feeling you shiver. His fingers ghost over your chest, his nails occasionally snagging on the fabric of the lace. You could feel his nail dragging against your skin as you wanted to take the dress off just as much as Hoseok did.

“Why don’t we remove this, hmm?” His voice hummed into your ear as he played with the sleeve of your dress. You nodded as he lifted himself up and watched your throat move with your attempt to dampen your dry throat. He pushed himself up to support his body on his one knee that pressed against the mattress and his foot that was still on the floor. As he gripped his open shirt, he rolled off his shoulders as it fell from his arms, letting it fall unceremoniously to the carpet.

Meanwhile, you had pulled your legs up onto the mattress and scooted your body back, no longer underneath Hoseok for an easier way of removing your dress. You pushed the end of the dress by your knees up to your thighs, bunching it up at your hips before hooking the fabric beneath your fingers. Your fingers curled around the dress and lifted it up and over your stomach, then chest and finally over your head.

Your hair falls back into place on your shoulders, more disheveled than before as you begin to peel the dress off your arms to complete discard it. Your actions are cut short when Hoseok has a hold of your arms and quickly rips the dress off, finding that watching you undress yourself makes him impatient, as well as irritated. He gripped the dress, pulling it from you, enough force behind his actions to pull your torso forward, to where you now leaned forwards, towards him.

He tossed the dress, god knows where, and with your current position, gave him the delicious view of your cleavage your strapless white bra offered him. He let loose another low growl as he watched you move to correct your position. The way you sat, was enough to want him to sink his teeth into you, along with making the pain he felt down below less and less bearable, but he wanted to not just act like a fool clouded in lust, but admire and praise you. He didn’t want to behave like some animal.

Rear planted in the middle of the bed, knees brought up to your chest with your feet apart -- giving him quiet the view of your lower half have peeking out from your legs – and arms crossed over your chest, shying away from his eyes that bore into you like flames. Your skin was shining; he could only imagine how soft it was. He noticed the way the bra hugged your chest, the way the skin dipped as it wrapped around you, it seemed so delicious, and he could’ve sworn his mouth began to water.

His fingers worked to only unbutton the tops of his trousers before he was back on the bed again, hovering over you, taking your wrists into his hands and prying them away from you. The way your face flushed almost made him laugh, you seemed too innocently adorable he found it too precious. He moved to place soft kissed along the top of your chest, making whines pour from your lips. It came to a point he wanted to hear so much more, so he latched his teeth into the flesh around your collarbone as he pushed his head against your chest enough to make you fall back onto the mattress.

Hoseok’s two arms each held one of your wrists in his arms as he moved them up to keep them clasped in only one, freeing the other of his. His now free arm slipped under your neck, pulling you up just enough towards him, his teeth sunk further into your chest, beads of blood coating his lips, but with the wince you offered and the promise of not taking your humanity from you, he pulled away from your chest. You were a mess of heavy breaths and flushed beyond compare.

The hand that rested behind your neck moved and unlatched the clasp from the choker around your neck. Hoseok slid his face back to your neck and took the center crystal between his teeth before rolling it on his tongue and slowly pulling it from your neck. He took the choker from his mouth and reached to place it on the surface of a small table he kept at his bedside that normally held his current reading material, which he had left outside.

Moving back to the woman underneath him, he moved quickly to reach behind her arched back and with a fluid movement of his fingers, unclasped your bra as it slide from your chest, leaving it bare in front of his eyes. It didn’t take but a second more for him to completely toss the article away and attached his lips to one of your quickly chilling nipples, warming it again and leaving you with gasps.

He let a growl of pleasure murmur through his body as his previous thoughts were confirmed. You did indeed taste different on your chest than your lips, but just as delicious. The same arm he used to unclasp your bra, was quickly snaked around your back, lifting your chest up to greet his lips almost urgently. Your arms only rested on Hoseok’s shoulders as your head lolled back and soft mewls left your lips, those mewls sounding angelic to the vampire on top of you.

Hoseok would feel the harsh pulse pushing through your body and he pushed back the urge to sink his teeth into your skin as he pulled away from your abused breast and began to trail himself further down your torso. His nose ever so slightly feathering over your stomach before he rested himself between your thighs. He gripped the supple skin of your leg, latching his teeth to it, nipping at it to only to excite more stimulation out of you.

The closer he got to your clothed center, the more impatient and riled up you began to get. Hoseok wasn’t expecting to hear much from you as far as pleading and asking for pleasure goes, he knew you were still working on being yourself. He was waiting and relying more on your actions, rather than your words. His tongue moved along the underside of your thigh as one of his hands moved to slowly circle around your core, making your breath hitch and your hips buck. Hoseok smirked as he kissed your thigh once more before turning his attention to your panties.

Hooking his two first fingers around the band of the article of clothing, he dragged them down slowly revealing the final touch of your bare, naked body to his eyes. As he finally pulled them off the ends of your feet and dropped them onto the floor, his eyes burned with the red of his vampire blood, pushing through his mind to change his brown eyes into a hue of crimson. His tongue ran over his bottom lip as he couldn’t wait to finally be with you as both your husband and lover.

Hoseok watched as the time between taking your panties, pulling them off and gazing at you, you had begun to slowly regain your breath. He smirked, as he didn’t want anything but labored gasps coming from your throat, so as you slowly cracked your eyes open, he dropped his body back to rest between your legs and wasted no time in latching his mouth to your warm, waiting cunt.

You felt the vampire at your core smirk as one of your hands flew to his head, tightly gripping his hair as the other gripped desperately at the sheets by your head. You couldn’t control the bucking of your hips or the tremors of your legs as his tongue worked skillfully in and out of you as well as the occasional attention he gave your clit.

“Ah.. Ho-Hoseok….” You took in a sharp breath as he flattened his tongue and began to play around with your core with his fingers. Inserting only one, he used his free hand to wrap around one of your thighs to slightly keep your hips on the bed. “Oh my god…!” Hoseok knew; it was a requirement that the bride offered up as a sacrifice be a virgin and the actions of him taking this from you was a fantasy. He knew no one had touched you like he is, had made your voice jump and made you whine like he has. Just those few thoughts alone had him burning.

He, without wasting time for permission, inserted a second finger as he heard yet another beautiful moan roll from your lips. He imagined you biting on your bottom lip as you clung to the sheets of his bed, keeping your body from spazzing out and bucking into his face like a maniac, and all of those points he imagined were spot on.

It wasn’t much more, only the speed of his fingers pushing in and out of your with rapid motions and his tongue working with the occasional nip of your skin, to make you see white as the knot in your gut tightened more and more, ready to burst.

“Hoseok… I’m.. oh god-!” The grip you had on his hair tightened, earning a groan from him, effectively vibrating your clit. You felt like you were losing your mind. It was hot, your skin was glistened with a thin layer of sweat and you couldn’t catch your breath. However, all of it felt like euphoria thanks to Hoseok.

“It’s alright princess, let go.” He spoke as he lightly blew small breaths on your heat as his fingers curled. Almost on command, your voice rose as your back arched, nothing but white spots clouding your vision. Hoseok latched his mouth onto your core as his fingers worked to help ride out your high. He nearly moaned on how sweet the juices coming from you tasted.

He pulled away from your center, pulling his fingers out of your and releasing your thigh as you lay on the mattress, flushed, shining with sweat and chest heaving. Hoseok ran his tongue over his lips, taking every taste of nectar from you he could as he started undressing himself. In your state of recovery, you could make of the sounds of Hoseok fumbling with his trousers, however you couldn’t even find the strength to pry your eyes open yet.

It wasn’t until your felt a pressure beside your head and the presence of someone hovering over you did you try to open them.

“Open your eyes and look at me.” It was a simple soft command and your eyes nearly flew open at the sound of Hoseok’s husky voice. When his eyes, swirling between a mix of red and brown, met your lidded ones, his lips captured yours pushing the taste of your nectar against your taste buds. You couldn’t pull your gaze away from Hoseok as he made sure your line of sight was on his the whole time, but you knew that he was just as you now, completely barren.

Hoseok felt your whimper as he moved his hips to just lightly push his manhood against you. He pulled his lips away from you as he looked at you, his brows just slightly creasing.

“Is it okay? I mean… can I?” His voice was small as he wanted to completely make sure this isn’t just what he wanted. He wanted this, but he wanted you to want it just as much as him. Hoseok just wanted to please you, he wanted you to be happy and if this was it, he would happily do it, without hesitation.

“Y-yes. Please, I can’t wait anymore….” He felt himself twitch as he took hold of his cock and lined himself up with your core. He rubbed himself on your walls just before he slowly began to push into you.

Your hands flew to grip at his arms that rested on either side of your head as he tucked his head into the crook of your neck. He felt his own breath labor as he pushed into until he was fully sheathed in you. He held his mouth open as he breathed out, heating your already burning skin. You clung to his arms as a moment passed and you breathed out into his ear.

“Hoseok, move.” He couldn’t speak, it just wasn’t going to happen at the moment. He took one of his arms from your grasp and reached down to hike your leg up and pulled out of you just before slamming back in. You let a moan leave your mouth as Hoseok pried his eyes open and lifted his head to watch you.

With each of his thrusts, he watched your body move up and down on the mattress, he watched the way your breasts moved and bounced on your chest and relished in the feeling of you moving your arms to wrap around his torso. Your fingernails dug into his back, sending pleasure and pain through his flesh and as well pulled yourself closer to him.

“You.. you feel amazing.. oh my god Y/N.” Hoseok let groans and praise fall from his lips as his thrusts slowly became faster.

“Hoseok! Hoseok, please!” He felt your walls clench around him as he pounded harsher into you. His grip on your legs tightened as he pulled it up even further, hitting inside you deeper making your already loud voice raise further. “I’m.. I’m gonna.. fuck..!” If Hoseok wasn’t so lost in your warmth and your voice, he would have smirked and teased about your vulgar language you had never shown him, but nothing mattered but your heat and how well you took him right now.

“Do it. Cum for me princess.” Just as before, your let your second organ rip through your body, your nails clawing into his back, hips bucking into his and pulling yourself as close to him as possible. You rode out your high as his thrusts began sloppy and untimely and soon it wasn’t long before he was pulling out of you completely and releasing himself on your stomach.

Moments of panting, dying moans and whimpers passed and soon Hoseok had collapsed onto your chest as you both tried to regain your breath. A minute or two passed and Hoseok had rolled off of you and onto his back. He grabbed your body and pulled you to his chest as he held you and kissed the crown of your head. If he could hold you like this forever, he’d so gladly take that opportunity.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep yet darling.” Hoseok chuckled into your ear as your eyes were heavy and you fought to stay awake. “You should bathe, I’m sure it’d be best and more comfortable to sleep if you did. Especially after all of that.” You felt your face burn slightly as you only nodded against him. He was right, and the thought of relaxing in a tab of warm water seemed amazing, but you couldn’t will your body to move yet. Hoseok must’ve picked up on your fatigue because not a second later, he was sitting up and lifting your naked body off the bed and moving you to the washroom that was attached to his room.

He gently sat you on the edge of the tub, careful to make sure your had enough strength in you to sit up on your own, before he began to run the water. He moved around and opened a cabinet on the wall before pulling out two different bottles of soaps.

“Which one would you like? They were created for me when I have muscle pains, one is scented, but the other isn’t.” You smiled at his generosity, about to decline on using his products, as they were his, but he just shook his head. “You’re using one, whether you like it or not. Now, scented or not?” You rolled your eyes.

“What’s the scent?” Hoseok smiled and walked over to you, offering you one bottle to smell. The scent of vanilla wafted into your nose as you smiled and visibly relaxed. Hoseok smiled warmly at your reaction as he placed the bottle on your lap.

“Scented it is then.” As he walked back to place the plain one back, you held the bottle in your hands as you rotated it in your palms.

“Just a heads up,” your voice caught his attention as he looked at you, “my favorite smell is lavender.” You hadn’t moved your gaze from the bottle in your hand, and he saw your flushed face. Honestly, Hoseok never knew something so small as you sharing something that seemed so trivial would make him so happy. He nodded as he stored the information in his head.

“I’ll keep that in mind princess.” He shut the cabinet and walked over to you, hooking his finger under your chin and lifting your head to place a kiss on your cheek. “Now, relax. Take as much time as you need and you can sleep with me tonight.” You had lost track to what time it was, but you had a feeling that you’d be too sore for a while to do anything.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t finish my chores as your fiancé yet. And I haven’t even made preparations for dinner.” You sounded sincere in your apologies, making Hoseok chuckle.

“It’s really no problem. My fiancé should have her days off too. Trust me, after that gift,” he motioned back into his bedroom, “I think you deserve a break.” Your face flushed again as you spun on the edge of the tub and slid inside, the warm water engulfing your already sore body. Hoseok ran his finger through your hair once more before turning and leaving the room.

“Where are you going?” Your small voice spoke up. He looked over his shoulder and smirked.

“My fiancé is sleeping with me tonight and I have a few unfinished duties to do this afternoon. Don’t worry love, I’ll be back in a bit.” He watched you nod and soon left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Hoseok made quick work of what he wanted to be done. He had picked up the discarded clothing from the floor, neatly folding your dress, and placing your undergarments and choker with it as he placed it on a chair he had placed by his window. He pulled his trousers back on and took his shirt as he draped it on the back of the same chair your clothes rested on. Then he turned his attention to his bed.

He hadn’t washed his sheets in a week or so, and he felt now would be the perfect time to do so. Stripping the bed, he called for one of the servants to come and collect the dirtied sheets and blankets to be cleaned as he replaced them with a new set. A coffee brown comforter, decorated with elegant needle work with caramel sheets and matching pillow cases.

Once that was finished, he opened his wardrobe to pull out one of his larger button up, white shirts and placed it on the bed with a pair of his undergarments for you to wear when you left the bathroom. He didn’t feel like he needed the temptation of you wearing that dress again, and even if his clothes on you was tempting as well, it’d be easier to manage than a dress that’s basically nothing that clung to your curves.

Now that his in room ideals were met, he grabbed his shirt before pulling it on and buttoning it, straightening it and tucking it in as he left his room. He shut the door softly behind him as he walked down the halls, running his hands through his hair. He made a stop at the kitchen to see the workers hard at work preparing dinner, as they were working from scratch without a recommendation on what to make. Hoseok thanked them for their work before moving to head out into the gardens.

It had dawned on him that he let perfectly good tea go to waste as he walked and made it to the small circular table he sat at daily. His book was shut with a marker in the center of it and his specs sat on top of the hard cover. He sighed as he took the half empty teacup, with the small round saucer beneath it, and placed it back on the tray with the cubes sugar and a different teacup, upside and unused. He tucked his book underneath his arm, unfolded his specs to place them on his nose and grabbed the tray before heading back inside to the kitchen once more and handing it off to the workers.

He would have washed them himself, but they were pretty particular when it came to cleanliness and organization, so he just let them handle it. Hoseok then made it to his study. It was a separate room than his personal bedroom. He walked to his desk and set his book down among the papers and different pens before he moved to sit into his desk chair. He lolled his head back and closed his eyes, taking a breath.

It still didn’t feel quite real to him yet. The woman he loved, loved him back. They just proved it and yet all he can hope is that he won’t wake up in his bed alone and this all be a long dream. As he accepted that what he wanted actually became his, he began to think about the marriage and the way how his human lover would die at 35.

“She gave me permission….” Hoseok breathed out as he mumbled to himself. He had a lot of planning to do for the wedding tomorrow. Like, if he’d be marrying a human woman, or a vampire tomorrow.

By the time dinner was finished, he had requested it be brought to his room, so that you could avoid getting out of bed. It’d be best if you just rested the remainder of the night, but the young man who was assigned to bring the tray of food to you, he had stopped by Hoseok’s study.

“It seems the young Lady has fallen asleep. Shall I wake her Master?” Hoseok shook his head.

“No. Allow her to rest. I’ll see to it she eats later.” The man only lowered his head as he dismissed himself. Hoseok placed the top of his fountain pen back on as he set it down on the side of his desk. He organized a few papers of importance and set them aside before he huffed and lifted himself from his chair. He hadn’t realized how late it had gotten. It was dusk and night was quickly falling. He stretched as he made his way out of his study to his room, going to check on his slumbering wife-to-be.

When he made his way back to his room, he quietly pushed open his door as he peeked inside. His curtains were pulled shut, making the room darker and you were laying on top of the, his shirt on your body and curled into yourself. You weren’t even under any covers, as your knees tucked closer to your chest and your hands rested in front of your face. He stepped inside, smiling at you as he moved the covers back and lifted you to place you under them.

He knew you should eat, but he couldn’t wake you, not yet. He’d let you rest and if that meant sleeping through the night then so be it. He’ll just make sure your given a hefty breakfast. He never woke you, and you never woke up long enough to actually comprehend anything around you, so that night concluded in Hoseok holding you to his chest as he slept and the two of you woke up to the sound of a servant knocking on his door.

Hoseok huffed as he groggily called out that he was awake, and that you would be down to begin preparation shortly. He wasn’t a difficult riser, especially when he had the chance to still lay with you. He knew, that this time, he had to wake you up. So, with a his hands rubbing up your arms and back, he saw the signs of you awakening.

You pulled your legs closer to you, as you breathed in through your nose. You tried to bury yourself further into his warmth, not ready to get up yet, earning a chuckle from him. His lips were close to your ear as he spoke softly to you.

“You must get up love, we have a wedding ceremony today.” It was at that you moved your head and cracked open your tired eyes. “For someone who slept so long, you sure look tired.” You smirked as you moved to sit up and yawn.”

“That wouldn’t be my fault, now would it.” He watched as you cutely rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and flung your legs over the side of the bed, sliding off it and letting the shirt Hoseok put on your yesterday fall to your thighs. You felt your stomach start begging to be fed as you slightly whined. Hoseok had already climbed out of bed behind you and tilted your head to place a kiss on your kiss.

“I’d recommend eating something before anything. Can’t have you going weak today now can we.” You smiled up to him.

“No, I suppose we can’t.” He opened his door for the two of the to leave the room, as they ventured out into the halls. It wasn’t long before the female servants dragged you away to the kitchen to feed you and then to fit you into your dress and makeup. Hoseok was dragged away in the same fashion.

The entire morning, Hoseok’s head was filled with an unspoken plan he had been debating to do. It was risky, what he wanted, but if just had your permission, he’d go through with it. If all went well today, he’d start out this ceremony with a human, and finish it with a vampire.

When Hoseok was finished, he was moved to greet guests as they began to flood around his manor and mingle with the other guests. The ceremony itself was going to be held outside, near his gardens, among a clearing of trees. It was decorated as if it was ripped out of child's fairy tail. White everywhere, chairs sat up in rows, an isle on the earth and a gazebo that was front in center was decorated in roses and silk ribbons.

The gravity of the situation hit him harder as he spoke with his mother, and she went on and on about his future and how his wife will be there for only a brief time so that he should rely on her, but don’t become useless like other vampires have. He assured her that he’d become no such vampire, but kept his mouth sealed from the activities and words the two of you shared yesterday. She would probably start shouting some profanities about how the two of you were different, too different; even if she was wrong.

So, when the chimes were sounded and blinded well with the outside wind, the guests moved to their seats as Hoseok was to stand on the gazebo with the ‘priest’ of the entire ordeal. Part of him almost chanced telling him the ceremony would take a different turn, but he didn’t. From the look of him, he was ready for anything, and anything was what he was going to get.

He had to bite on the insides of his cheeks to keep his lips from pulling up his face into a splitting smile as he approached him from the back row of chairs up the cloth isle. The dress was fairly simple, but it hugged your wonderfully and it seemed perfect. He fiddled with his fingers as an attempt to keep his character.

When you moved to stand next to him, you stood close enough to where your shoulder brushed his arm and he could catch a whiff of the special perfume the maids had probably doused you in. He wanted to chuckled at you sitting in a chair, eyes screwed shut as women just sprayed scented perfume all over your body. As the ‘priest’ rambled on about the standard ceremony lines, Hoseok whispered, just loud enough for you to hear him without moving.

“Are you still okay with me taking your humanity from you?” You were a bit surprised at his questioned, but in usual Hoseok standings, it wasn’t hard to figure out what he was planning. You fought back a grin as you rose your chin a bit higher and shifted your eyes to gaze at him from your perfiverals, him looking back down at you from his.

“Of course. That will never change.” This time he didn’t fight the smile that lifted his cheeks as he found an appropriate enough time to halt the ‘priest’s’ monologue. He kindly ask that he remain quiet for a bit, as he had a few things to say. He turned to look at the crowd of guests, the same crowd he had previous had his back to. You had turned slightly to watch him, your hands clasped in front of you. He took a breath and found the courage to finally do what he wanted, and no longer live in the shadow of other vampires.

“I apologize for the sudden halt in the the ceremony, but something has changed and I would like to address the issue now with all of you here, rather than later.” He moved to look at you and you only nodded at him. He looked at his mother for a moment before moving to address the entirety of the guests. “I will not be concluding today’s marriage with a human woman.”

The gasped heard from the vampires was more dramatic than it had to be in all reality, but this is something you found comical. Is a vampire standing up and changing something about his life so unusual that you had to gasp in nearly perfect unison? Hoseok continued as he raised his voice at the riling commotion.

“Having fallen in love with my first bride, I wish for her to be my only bride. With her permission, I will take her humanity away from her right here, right now and place a ring upon the finger of a beautiful, new vampire.” He turned to you and offered you his hand. Graciously taking it, he lead you to stand in front of him.

The both of you tuned out the commotion in front of you, as the man behind the two of you, shut his book and leaned back against the gazebo railings, amused. He gently tilted your head, as he opened up your neck to him. He wrapped one of his arms around your waist as the other held your chin around your body to keep your head turned.

His eyes slightly shone that vibrant red hue, as he opened his mouth, showing his fangs before he bit down into your neck, none too gently. You winced as you felt the piercing in your skin and began to feel ever so weaker with each time you heard him gulp down the blood in your body.

Your blood had tasted sweeter than he expected, taking it in large gulps and almost not finding the will to stop himself before he took your life. He had pulled away from your neck, his teeth and lips dripped in crimson as you fell against him and to the ground. He supported you back as the bags under your eyes were heavy and he could feel your exhaustion.

“Hold on, don’t close your eyes. We’re almost done.” He brought one of his wrists to his mouth, running his flesh under his fang, cutting it and showing his own dark blood, that was nearly black. He pulled on your chin as he put his wrist to your mouth. “Drink it.” He felt your tongue run over his blood, as you brought your hands to push his wrist into your mouth further. It was like when a man would cross a desert and find water, Hoseok’s blood was your water and your body was the desert. When he knew you had had enough, he pulled away from your mouth and watched you.

Your lips were staining a darker shade of red from his blood, and he watched your bags disappear from under your eyes. You were unconscious as the changes were subtle, but definite. The crowd was silent as you still lay slumped against Hoseok. He couldn’t felt your heart beat, and he could feel your breath anymore. But, he nearly split his face in two when you opened your eyes, that shone with the same crimson hue his did.

“Hey there.” He casually greeted you as you felt lighter than you did before. It was almost unrealistic how light you felt, how different it was from when you woke up this morning, or how heavy your body was your entire life until now. You felt Hoseok pull you up by your arms, as you leaned against him before standing on your own. He pulled at your chin to look at him.

“You ready to finish this wedding now? Are you feeling okay?” You smiled to him, showing him your stunning white pair of fangs.

“Never better. Let’s finish this up.” So, with a more than a few displeased guests and a slightly amused and bitter mother, the ceremony was finished up and brought to a close. The two of you wed without a problem, as you slightly complained to him about how sore your neck was. It was the toll of being changed so suddenly, but it still hurt. He’d occasionally press his lips to it, in hopes to make up for the soreness.

Somehow, having mutual affection and attraction for Hoseok, as well as concluding a wedding ceremony, made him much less shy and much more affectionate towards you. Whether there were people around of not.

As the next day came around the two of you shared a room, the other having no use for the moment. The staff and servants of the manor accepted you as your vampire self, and as the Lady of the house, and you were happy that they did. You wanted to keep a positive relation with your household.

That afternoon, you had met Hoseok out in the garden, just as normal, but instead of tea, you had prepared two teacups of thick blood. You still weren’t sure how the staff would come across the blood, if it was an animals or not, but you didn’t want to question it. You’d probably learn in time. As you reached over and placed his crimson stained teacup in front of Hoseok, he took it and chuckled, looking at his dark reflection in the thick liquid.

“I’ve always fantasized having a drink with you.” You took your own cup and raised it to your lips as you took a small sip, and instead of that bitter taste humans would experience, you were meet with a lovely blend of sweetness. You huffed in relaxation and looked to your husband with a loving gaze, a playful smile on your face.

“Fantasies will only start becoming reality my dear.” You chuckled a bit to him as you noted his shut book, one he had just recently finished. “Perhaps, one day, you could write your own story.” He smiled at the thought, as he placed his teacup onto his saucer and back onto the table.

“That is a possibility. It’d have to be an autobiography though, or perhaps a type of record or documentary.” You scoffed lightly.

“A story about yourself? I never pegged you to have such an ego.” He shook his head.

“Not at all. I’d start the book from the point of 5 months ago.” He placed his hand on his book as the idea of writing his own story didn’t sound to bad. He smiled to himself as he shut his eyes, the visual of your smile from yesterday glowing in his mind.

“It wouldn’t be a story about me…” He reached over to and took your hand, fiddling with your fingers between his as he opened his eyes and the red of both of yours met.

“It’d be a story about us.” After all, Hoseok only wished to write down his fidelity to you.

-------------------------------------------------------

This was my first big project I set myself up to do, so this has been in the works for probably a month. I hope it wasn’t too bad of a read, but I was fairly happy with how it turned out as I’m not usually one for like vampire or supernatural AUs as much as I love them they’re harder for me to write since I do a lot of dramatizing most times. ^///^ Also, this was officially the first smut I wrote, just was never finished up, so be gentle with criticism ^^”

Well, if you made it here, thanks and I hope you enjoyed!! ^0^

#monsta x #monsta x fanfiction #monsta x smut #monsta x au #monsta x drabbles #monsta x imagines #shin hoseok #lee hoseok #wonho #mx #smut #au #vampire #reader #fanfiction

643 notes · View notes