#i just been listening to this song a lot recently so why not ig idk man
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watching fionna and cake and i decided to quickly make this for some reason 🙏
#nothing fancy or special or amazing#i just been listening to this song a lot recently so why not ig idk man#adventure time#fionna and cake#video#simon petrikov#betty grof
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People I’d Like to Get to Know Better
Idk ig I’m doing this too, why not. Platonically giving @emxcited a little smooch and hug for the tag.
Last Song: I’m actually listening to music atm. Current song is THAT BITCH by Bea Miller. I’ll add in the final song I listen to before I finish this, as a treat too. (Last song of this post is Seizure Boy by Watsky.)
Favorite Color: I like yellow. Mostly like neon yellow green, and shades of bright orange and dandelion yellow. (Which is funny because those used to be my least favorite colors as a kid lol.)
Last Movie: This is actually a really hard one because I don’t watch a lot of movies unless family ropes me into it. Last bits I saw of a movie was the Aquaman movie playing downstairs. I got sucked into it a bit before I snuck off to my room again.
Sweet/Spicy/Savory: For meals, savory, 100%. For snacks, it’s a bit of a mix of all of them, but I probably lean salty.
Relationship Status: Single. I’m in a weird spot because I had a FWB I was in love with (they knew, don’t take it the wrong way) who really hurt me right around Christmas and I haven’t really been able to think of anything romantic or sexual in regards to myself without crying lol. Only been getting better a bit recently. And no I won’t name them, not that I think anyone is going to care enough to ask. They don’t deserve hate, no matter how much they hurt me.
Last Thing I Googled: “can you laugh if you have a vow of silence” I was listening to Vow of Silence by Lemon Demon and was thinking about a character with a vow of silence and how that would affect that kind of stuff. Before that was me googling a Wesen type from Grimm because I wanted to know what they looked like.
Current Obsession: I’m honestly not obsessed with any fandoms currently? I’m interested and involved but not obsessed. I think the only thing I’m a little obsessive about rn is, there was this one artist I followed on Pixiv who made this amazing art of their OCs and it was in Japanese so I couldn’t read any of it really but it was great, and then one day I went looking for them, and I can’t find them for the life of me. I don’t know if they just dipped and took their art with them or what. I have some saved on my phone and even did reverse searches and came up with nothing. They didn’t leave signatures on their art, and their Pixiv username was literally just the 🤫 emoji.
I keep thinking about them and wondering how I can find them. Even if it’s not to see more of their content, although I can wish, but just because I want to ask permission if I can use their art as PFPs and how to credit them and the like. Their art brought me a lot of happiness and I hope they know that, even if I never find them.
I think everyone I know is interested in this stuff has already been tagged by other people? I don’t think I know many people who I know are down for these sort of things. So I guess if you follow me, take that as me tagging you if you want.
Also @carbonatedcacti because even though I’m sure you’ve been tagged by Wren, I’m harassing you too because ily mwah mwah.
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Hey Hey Rome! Since I'm here to cheer you up, let me ask some questions! Hopefully, this helps just a little :D
1.) What was the 1st fanfic you've ever read? And what was it about?
2.) Would you rather be hopeless romantic or hopeful unromantic? And why?
3.) Antique or brand new? And why?
4.) What's the dad joke of the day? :)
5.) What's your usual order of a Starbucks drink? And would you recommend it for others to try?
6.) Any song recommendations?
7.) What has been the best highlight of your day/evening/night?
8.) What's something you cherish the most in friendships? And why?
9.) What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you, but you laugh about it now thinking of it?
10.) Apart from Tumblr, what's something you enjoy doing in your spare time?
[Ooo kinda outdid myself lol sorry about that 😅]
Skshskaja it took me a while to answer lmao
Answer undercut<3
So….the first fanfic I ever read was something about Harry Potter I guess😭😭😭like not even Harry guys. It was his dad’s—like James Potter with an oc or reader idk but like💀💀 peak da fiction years for me (when I was 11? And I remember being weirded out by reading them kiss lololol)
Did you mean hopeful romantic here? But like neither exactly? Wait if it could be, hopeless unromantic<3 because like I do get crushes but it’s not the deep kind and I know nothing will last about these things (my coping mechanism) but then I Di want something deep but then I can’t commit💀
Antique when things of use—brand new when things of daily use lmao
Is it bad that I don’t know any😭😭?
Sooo lmao. The place I live, it recently had a Starbucks open (the first one) and like it’s way too far from my house so I’ve technically never had Starbucks😭😭 but ike ig have a pink drink or smn💀
Ok ok cashew by Jude York (I’ve been listening to mostly Hindi songs these days so i can’t remember any goods English ones😭)
I went back to my school to get projects<3 doesn’t the first half of the day with my best friend after like 3 months so yes that ofc
Quality time. I think it’s very necessary. Like for someone such as me I need that attention and I love providing it so being ignored or like stuff makes me annoyed and over think (I suppose it’s clingy and I understand people need space) but yes. So mainly I just keep to myself lmao
I confessed to my crush AFTER I got over him and then an year later had to help him get with my bsf (who didn’t like him) stupid shit😭
I like maths💀a lot. Like if I have nothing to Do I will do it. Just like shamelessly everywhere—every surface
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LAYBACKNCHILL
Finallyyyyy my LBNC label info post. I’ve been hoping to find motivation for it for a long time and tonight is the night let’s go. It may be long and much blabla but idc, you can scroll past if you’re not interested :D
Rapper Chaboom founded the label Layback Records first, and then renamed it to LayBackNChill (LBNC) later. The motto is “to live a laid-back life by making laid-back music between people who have a good relationship”.
This year they are my favorite crew (next to my other favorite crews wysd and d.o.g) and here are some reasons why
see how I just called them a crew when they are actually a label? They are more like a crew. All of them seem close with each other and they all release (very fire) collab albums between 2 or more members regularly. It feels so natural in a time where most labels‘ actions and signings are (understandably) business decisions.
even before I knew their motto I would have described them like that. Most of the members are “old” but haven’t “made it” and while I think that must be a huge pressure, they seem just really chill about everything, the music doesn’t sound try-hard at all. It’s just consistently good music.
bc of most member’s ages I personally can identify well with them :P
the music is so good obviously. It’s a group where I regularly listen to music of almost every member. This is personal again but I just like trap I think, and most older rappers do boombap, and that’s just not as exciting for me. (or at least most of the recent stuff I’ve been listening to was trap. Haven’t had time to check all their old music it’s so much :D)
Chaboom did what few hiphop labels (and by that I mean labels that actually release mostly rap and hiphop and not all other kinds of mixed stuff) achieved and signed women, 2 of them. More abt them and the other members now.
and. sorry if this post is messy, their pics not ideal etc i’m too tired. and this is just for reference for later. ah here their LABEL IG page. Follow to not miss out on releases :P
차붐 (Chaboom) | 차종혁 (Cha JongHyuk) | 1985.4.5 | rapper
Founder and CEO
Used to have a boombap style
Participated in SMTM777
Is close with VMC and others
He gave kaogaii his stage name
He was originally a producer before he started rapping
Wybh’s “Equus (remix)” was originally Chaboom’s song feat. Paloalto, Swings, Deepflow (news to me 🙈)
마진초이(Marginchoi) | ??? | producer
Not much is known about him
He usually works with other LBNC artists the most
He was LBNC’s only producer until HD BL4CK joined
songrec? idk everyone he produced more than 50% of LBNC’s music I’m sure of that. They really mainly work only with each other. Pick a random LBNC song and it’s probably produced by him. I just tried it with 3 songs and it worked. Try Leebido - DDOOK DDOOK (Feat. Chaboom, ChaMane, Don Mills)
오아이 (O.I) | 최지윤 (Choi JiYoon) | 1998.8.22 | singer/rapper
(on the left in the photo)
She usually sings but also rapped on her collab album with Wonjjang
They’re so cool check out the album, here the song Stars with kitsyojii and Leebido
리비도 (Leebido) | 이병민 (Lee ByungMin) | 1992.6.21 | rapper
He debuted only in 2019 but has tons of nice Eps
Two EPs of his own and 2 with HD BL4CK, 1 with kitsyojii and kaogaii, and 2 with Chaboom nice work
Song rec: thisineverthat (with Chaboom) so underrated. Their concept seems to be brand names and products lol free ads for those I guess. But it goes hard just listen.
가오가이 (kaogaii) | 백한솔 (Back Han-sol) | 1991.2.18 | rapper
Part of crew Hofgang with kitsyojii. They’re besties since middle school. Their concept is being childish I love that.
Participated in SMTM a lot
Has also become a YouTuber
Changmo gave him libilly merch because they’re both from Namyangju, but they never met or talked (?)
Songrec: Purple Kimchi with Viann (producer) and kitsyojii from their recent collab album
키츠요지 (kitsyojii) | 조승환 (Jo SeungHwan) | 1990.5.25 | rapper
Hofgang with kaogaii
He likes to start diss battles, first I thought it’s silly but ig it’s just for fun and entertainment (still silly xD). First Jo Gwangil for being fast and then some high schooler (I forgot) for being not that good well lol.
Also participated in some SMTMs and even Superbee’s rap academy
His old rap name was Joystick because he wanted a rap name with “Jo” like his last name, but changed it when he joined LBNC
His rap is simple I think but I really like the style. He’s one of my fav and most listened rappers these days.
Song rec for a popular song: 일어나 Remix which got featured by Dingo
Now that I think abt it, kitsoyjii and kaogaii have gotten a lot of support from Dingo in the last months, the funny concept seems to be working. Maybe you’ll see them become more popular soon
원쨩 (Wonjjang) | ??? | rapper
If you read my posts you’ll know she’s one of my fav female rappers. She has an aggressive style and a deep voice so cool
Loves anime
Read my profile post abt her here
She hasn’t released any songs since that post :( anyway, songrec: tlqkf with HD BL4CK from their collab album
요보이 (YoBoy) | 강요셉 (Kang Joseph) | 2002.10.14 | rapper/singer
He is the youngest member
Was on hsr 4
He does a lot of singing, but it’s nice
Song example: Chillin Vibe (Feat. Chaboom, kitsyojii, Wonjjang, Leebido, O.I, kaogaii) (prod. marginchoi)
에이치디 블랙 (HD BL4CK) | 현동권 (Hyun Dongkwon) | producer
The bestttt he’s my fav producer rn
He also worked with Skinny Brown and is friends with Swervy & friends
Member of team yaya
Not much is known abt him but he debuted a long time ago and is pretty young I think -> signs for genius
Have 2 monster collab songs: Seoul Forest (Feat. Don Mills, KHAN, kaogaii, ChaMane, kitsyojii, Leebido, Basick) (a new one) and Lighter (Feat. Kash Bang, Leebido, Blase, Yami Tommy, ICE PUFF, Flavordash, Dayday) (a little older)
Generally if you look at his past featurings, it’s a rich list
Can’t wait for someone to make him a namu wiki page so I can find out 1 thing abt him :D I once found out his first name by reading all the comments on his ig and checking what his friends were calling him but I forgot :(
면도 (myunDo) | 임현도 (Lim HyunDo) | 1994.8.4 | rapper
He was on SMTM a few times and on Sign here
Apparently has/had 6 ferrets
He has his own label B.A.D (ballin’ all day)
I don’t really know his music yet (his signing was announced along with a long album, but it’s not out yet) but here’s a song that got stuck in my head: myunDo, 최서현 (Choi Seo Hyun) - HOUSE PARTY
이그니토 (Ignito) | 민재기 (Min JaeGi) | 1982.9.1 | rapper
He’s the newest and oldest member (ha ha) – newest to sign and oldest in age
He’s been in khh for a long time and was more active in the past
Idk his music well yet either
Latest song he did when his signing was announced: Shocking Asia (feat. Don Malik, EK, Keem Hyo-Eun, Chillin Homie, BLACK NINE, Maddoaeji)
As you can see I once again can’t keep up. Hopefully they don’t sign so many ppl in the future because they’re such a nice gang and if there are too many people, not all of them can collab all the time. Which I hope they can keep doing bc what they make is great. I got into them slowly and then noticed one by one that all members make really good music. At least as far as I’ve gotten now.
And notice how I gave you songs where they all feat with each other? Just doing that bc I hope someone will listen (all yt links btw). But their albums and solo songs are just as great (maybe even better sometimes bc more consistent), can be listened without skipping no problem. If you want more music recs for a member just ask :) I hope you will get to like them too bc everyone who’s not listening is missing outtt ok that was all thx :)
#lbnc#khh#khiphop#laybacknchill#long post#not sorry for long rants my brain is gsfnfsbpsfb and idc#info post
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Sea, why do you think Harry/zayn/Niall fans say Louis can’t sing? I’ve recently decided to watch some clips of him singing (from recent shows) and I will admit I don’t actually know much about vocals but I’ve always been very like - picky w live vocals? I grew up listening to Michael Jackson and Celine dion who have great voices so it’s kinda hard for me to appreciate ppl who don’t have insane vocals.
But like when I listen to Louis, sometimes I don’t like his voice on the first listen. Like I’ll need to listen once to a vid of him singing and on the second time I think it’s beautiful and almost like - mesmerizing. Sometimes it sounds very like- pitchy and whiney to me. And idk if that’s technique bc I watched music producers and ppl who know vocals go to Louis concerts saying he was v on point vocally w the exception of singing too young where he was kinda pitchy. One music producer + vocalist I adore said he thinks that adds to a song though bc it makes it more emotional. And I kinda think that’s a strong point in louis’ voice- you feel that shit in your loins. But personally, for me, the whiney male voice has never been my absolute favorite.
But I do think his tone is v unique which means not everyone is gonna like it - yk? Idk if he does the whiney voice on purpose but I do think it sounds a lot more ?controlled? Than it did in 1d. Which I think is good bc I’m all about singers working on themselves instead of giving up like Selena Gomez has. I’m a solo zayn Stan who kinda has a soft spot for Louis so obviously I know he’ll never be on zayns level vocally(I mean not before years of practice and even then- who’s gonna outsing zayn? No one) but I still kinda like him. I just have mixed opinions on his voice w what I mentioned that I think it takes some getting used to. But I defo don’t think he’s bad. I think “can’t sing” is a stretch and if we’re being honest he’s stronger than like 80% of the industry. I kinda just wish he just did more w his voice but ig he’s just not there yet bc that takes time to develop from what ik
A few reasons.
Louis doesn’t have a traditionally masculine rock voice. His register is higher than usual, and is the highest in 1D (except for the falsettos that Zayn and Liam can do). A pure tenor masculine voice is not everyone’s taste— we are used to lower rock voices.
Louis also has had notable problems with pitch, mostly because of insecurity and nerves. Ironically, he had a lot better pitch control when he was younger. In 1D, Louis got to a point of worrying about every solo he had to sing, so that by WWA tour his solos either came out flat (too low in pitch) or poorly supported— thin and whiny. This was noticeable during the first live solo performances too. Through interval training and exercises in breath control, Louis has improved pitch control tremendously.
Louis is also singing in a more Britpop/ punk way, with his mouth close to the mic (sometimes on top of the mic), producing a nasally and closed sound. It’s not my favorite, to be honest, but Louis makes it work. Not everyone can sing like this and get away with it. In opera and Broadway, singers will use the resonance in their mouths and throats a lot more, to open up the sound.
Now if you listen to Louis at his highest range of his head voice, where he’s belting out the high notes, there’s a ease of delivery from a relaxed, full abdominal support that sounds like a soft boom. It’s not forced or strained, and his laryngeal muscles (vocal cords and strap muscles that control vocal tension) are relaxed, vibrating in a controlled, supple way. He doesn’t use much vibrato, so he has to hit the pitch right on. This is the kind of virtuoso belting that Louis is known for, because his voice is so pure in the higher registers.
The voice used to be purer. It sounds raspier and rougher now because of smoking and alcohol (which might help with a rockier sound). Still, if we compare Louis to some of the other high tenors in the business, we can hear strain in their live performances compared to Louis’ lives, which are powerful, controlled and supple.
You’re right. Louis’ voice has a unique timbre that not everyone likes. It’s a personal stamp that is hard to imitate. His voice can be a little grating and whiny, especially in speech, but in singing, it’s a captivating blend of pure tenor and raspy baritone that’s unique and magnetic. And the voice breaks in strategic places in the lyrics capture the emotions with such brilliant delicacy.
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Daily Anon Chronicles chapter four (writing the cjapter number coz i literally had to replay ch 3😭)
Again everyone on edge except MC is Coping so yay for that ig
MY PERSONALITY IS STILL GENUINE AND I KINDA GOT TRIGGERED BY IT I'M NGL
NO NOT ANOTHER NERVE LOSS STOP IT ANNIE OR I'LL KILL U AGAIN MYSELF-
I feel kinda bad for Noah. Like ik what he did but i was always like the Jane kinda used him
Oh noiceeee i thought Ava lost her powers
Idk why but again taylor swift is playing in my mind
(MY BABY'S FIT LIKE A DAYDREAM WALKING WITH HIS HEAD DOWN I'M THE ONE HE'S WALKING TOOOOOO SO CALL IT WHAT U WANT YEA CALL IT WHAT U WANT TO MY BABY'S FLY LIKE A JET STEREAM HIGH ABOVE THE WHOLE SCENE LOVES ME LIKE I'M BRAND NEWWWWWW SO CALL IT WHAT U WANT YEA CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT)
Oh i just realised what it lives within could mean. It prolly means within like the ilw mc. Or all the three mcs. Idk
The recent asks abt ilitw mc/Noah not coming back makes me so sad. Like, Connor and MC are sooooooooo good for each other. She better come back to life or else imma riot😭
THIS WOMAN. STOP DOUBTING THEIR RELATIONSHIP I BEG YOU JUST STOP IT THEY'VE BEEN THRU ENOUGH
(Nadia the next time u doubt Connors relationship imma whip slap u)
YES HER DEATH IS REVERSIBLE. plus i had a theory that her body would still somehow be there. Like she'd randomly turn back to human coz not going mad coz of loneliness is the key to break the curse🤷
EXACTLY NOAH U WERE USED BY JANE.
Awkward silence in car is always soooooo uncomfy
HI AVAAAAAAA I MISSED YOUUUUUU *tackles her into a hug*
Hmmmmmmmmmmm. What kind of freaky?
Maybe the cave is used bye some rly rly bad person who wants the Power for themselves. OOOOOOOO THEY MIGHT WANT MC'S POWER 😯
Well hellooooo Luis👀👀👀
Ok Luis is kinda sketchy but well. Why didn't we get a chance to stare at his butt?
Too easy lmao. I know I'm quite something Luis, I know.
Tf is that q supposed to mean😭😭😭 he literally just said gauntlet of healing
I know, Luis, my lips are tantalizing (i hope that means what i think it means)
YAS I'M UP FOR IT
The fact that I'm reading this just so that I can get inspo for my book is a lie, brain. You and i both know that I'm horny
I'm sorry isn't this like a campsite? WITH A LOT OF PEEPS OMG EVERYONE IS HEARING THIS-
Ofc ofc through. So thorough that we won twice hmmmmmm.
YASSSS CONNOR MY SWEETHEART UR COPING THANK THE LORDS.
UMMMMMM ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A BIIIIIG MONSTER PET OR SMN COZ THERE'S A SHAPE THAT LOOKS LIKE IT IN THE INVENTORY
Angry but supportive. Who do i have to beg to get that kinda friend? GOD ARE U LISTENING
Mhmmmmm a pleasurable experience
AYO U LITERALLY DID THE DEED WITH HIM HE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE HORNY
Lmao Abel chill. Wait La Llorona? Isn't that the song from Coco? Aye di mi Llorona Llorona, Llorona de mi azul celeste. Gray character trickster god. Sure you ain't talking abt Loki? Oooooooo so i feel like this trickster god is doing this stuff so he can be alive again maybe?
No coffee Abel sleep. Can't function that much on coffee u need to sleep.
I mean if people can turn into murder angry after visiting the place then well
Hmmmmmmmmm. Nerve loss in all it's glory😖
LJ? Who's that? Is he an ancestor? THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME
Ummmmmmm. Is everyone's fam member just coming back as a ghost or smn?NOOOO CONNOR IS ON EDGE AGAIN NOOOOO. Super trippy? Rly? Lmao. Hope the sensor doesn't burst or smn.
WHOA LADY WE JUST MET IN THE LIBRARY WHY U GOTTA BE SO MAD?????OR WHAT HUH??? I HAVE A GUN. AND POWERS. TRY TO HURT ME I DARE U
Daily anon you are a BLESSING
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ugh ok that poll i reblogged made me listen to UUFO again and i didnt realize it's been like a few months since i listened to it in full FKKEDN (ok this got long so it's under a cut now)
every song ive just been going "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG" DJAKDJEK IM NORMAL IM NORMAL
i know its cringe to like a camellia album this much but uufo is like. a culmination of a LOT of the things i like, and all of camellias experience leading up to that point yk.. and so much love and effort went into it from so many different people.. auuuughhh
every part of the album comes together... i LOVE albums with a theme and this one is PARANORMAL OCCURENCES and URBAN LEGENDS and shit ITS EVERYTHING I LOVE!! the different pieces of album art... ufo girl... wauuuu wauuuu cries sobs
idc if its uncritical and cringe to love every song i do what i want. i dont rly care abt if a song is structurally good as long as it makes me happy it goes hard (and all of them make me happy)
the website.. so pretty...
ok im gonna go to bed after doinf this but heres a few tracks i want to ramble abt (i wish i could do all of the tracks but i wont (FOR NOW...))
for the longest time buzzbox was my favorite song LOL. it was one of my first songs on the album and the russian bass/hardcore mix is just SO good. idk why i liked it so much honestly, its not rly what i LISTEN to yk. i have a fond memory of making my geometry teacher listen to it in 10th grade and she never let me pick a class song again. SHE LIKED EDM TOO I THOUGHT SHE'D GET IT </33
obviously ghoul is amazing. no notes. everyone loves that song.
OOPARTS IS A BONUS TRACK ON THIS ALBUM. OOPARTS. OF COURSE IT'S GOOD
speaking of the muzzle facing.. god idk. the melodic metal undertones. i LOVE a big variety in musical textures and this song just SCRATCHES my DAMN BRAIN. the part where it goes *metal guitar riff* *oingo boingo ass scratching noises* ANDJWJDJEJD IM NORMAL (at 1:37)
POLYBIUS GB IS SO GOOD. the way every section of the song builds on eachother AUGH. the final drop with the chiptune/extratone. CAMELLIA AND HIS EXTRATONEY FINAL DROPS ARE SO GOOD WAUUU WAAAA
a lot of what i feel abt polybius gb ALSO applies to final blenderman!!!! except final blenderman has WAYY more electric guitar YEAHHHH!! camellia final drops. the shift from rock guitar to chiptune melody, and an extratoneish finale,, reminds me a bit of million pp actually? haha. it miiiight be my favorite song? it outranked buzzbox a while ago but tbh this place might be slipping for like, the muzzle facing.
i actually didnt like myths you forgot as much as the other tracks when i first listened to it.. idk why? maybe bc it was a little slower? past me has no taste bc this track is so layered. and good. thanks toby fox
artcore is usually an "eh, its good" for me (i have a lot of artcore i enjoy, like fallen symphony) but #1f1e33 is different.. just felt like pointing it out (esp since this album has a longer version of it) like! i never felt BORED! every section builds! and has interesting auditory textures! lol. ig thats how u keep my attention (not that "being boring" is inherently bad ofc)
i have really fond memories of listening to microwave-proof cat in like, 10th/9th grade... sighh that song is so fun. the main melody's texture is just so bouncy. kisses it.
OKAY. DAMN. its 3. i need to go to bed. i'd love to continue rambling abt this though. maybe later.
as of right now my favorite camellia song (outside of this album) is parallel universe shifter :3c yeah, like, his most recent 7 minute song. of course its good. idk just.. it has all the things i like in it. i'd love to be able to one day make music like this song specifically. but point is, it has all of my favorite musical things.. in it. idk how to explain it. the name too. its super personal to me LOL. and the references and callbacks in the song. so tasty
ig another 8+ track edm album i like is also good evening hollowood... can you tell i love paranormal/halloween themed albums. JK LOL the songs in that album have nothing to do with that. while im talking abt t+pazolite i like ponko2 girlish too.. maybe ill dedicate a post to that if i get bored.
OK FOR REAL NOW ILL STOP. BYE
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So I recently took a break from my main socials (FB, IG, & TikTok) because I wanted to address the recurring dread that I've been experiencing for quite a while now.
There's always been this feeling that I kind of feel lost and lonely despite meeting new people, having new experiences, and taking certain risks to change my life.
I took a while for me to come to this point, but I realized that what's been missing from me all this time is passion.
Ever since I've gone to college, I felt like I had to set aside my interests to actively participate in society. It seems that it went on well onto adulthood, where my decisions became largely influenced by stability, upskilling, and financial security.
But don't get me wrong— I am proud of myself for that. I will always be grateful that I have this level of grind to give myself the life that would actually keep me safe from toxic circles ans underpaying jobs.
I've learned how to embrace routine and the mundane. I would sometimes find myself thankful that I've come so far from the struggles that used to burden me.
But then, it seems that I have lost my lust for life—and that's where everything began.
I remember having a dreadful thought back when I was in high school on how life seems to be a series of going through the hopes; how after I graduate school I would work, and after I've secured a stable job I would need insurance, savings, and investments; and then I would need to help the fame, then have a husband and give birth to two children, and then buy a house and a car, and then claim my pension until I die.
Or maybe I will keep checking out stuff that I can spend on, go on trips that keep me booked, go on dates that I can allot time for, and talk to people so I don't have to deal with myself. At least, that's how most adults do it.
But idk, it just felt banal & overwhelming at the same time. It felt like I was only meant to tick boxes on my to-do list forever.
It was clear yet I didn't know: I was having an existential crisis.
I honestly didn't know what to do. I thought I might be mildly depressed so I tweaked my morning routine to include affirmations and write things down on a gratitude journal. I was in such a decent place in life so what do I need to be sad about anyways?
It wasn't until a few weeks ago when I watched Crimson Peak and signed up for a new Tumblr account that I felt the fire inside me spark once more.
I started watching TV shows again, and just recently I listened to a song that really makes me want to dance:
It was crazy. I almost forgot how much I loved dan cing.
I immediately looked up a dance class that I can take this week and I'm doing it.
And that's where it all clicked in.
For me, life is inherently meaningless and it is up to us to define it. Our purpose may or may not be driven by a grand cause and that's totally fine. But what matters is that you build a life that excites you, shapes you in the person that you're confident to become, and lights a fire deep within your soul. Indeed, it highlights your indomitable spirit.
And the catch? You don't even have to spend big bucks on it. It just has to be something that you will keep looking forward to that it drowns out the dread of the mundane.
Suddenly, being alone and doing mindless tasks isn't so bad.
Since it felt a lot like a wake up call, things started to make sense for me why sometimes people do what they're doing even it doesn't seem logical.
Whether it's a low-paying job, a thankless role, you name it. If it's illogical, they're probably passionate.
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why just why..? I made so many playlists 😭 omg-
okay. One while I’m going through this let’s just say I have a weird obsession with this symbol <3. I use it for anything and everything.
33 playlists in total 🟰  i’m going to name every single one of them with the link and explain what it consists of and why I have it. i’m going from recent to oldest.
Bones 🦴 — A playlist for one of my best friends!!
description; I love you so fucking much!! you are the realist from day one! (when we met when we were babies!!) 💗💪✨
wassup fucker ;) -> gangster / rap songs. why; because they’re really good songs and i vibe to em cause they rap. yk.
description; lets get fucked up!!!
one more hit — 🌬 -> not a lot of songs yet but dark songs ig. kinda the dark but still chill vibe when smoking but its also ‘smoking is getting to much vibe but we like smoking so we will continue to smoke.’
description; too many hits.
2nd p. person — Q. -> rock vibes. this is for someone i am acquaintances with. i dont think they like me and that might be bc i am dating their ex but i didn’t know that when i got with my partner. and i do like 2nd p. person, they seem cool but i also don’t because they were talking abt a friend behind friends back and i dont like that. 
description; I bet we would’ve been great friends :) *happy/say smile*
melanie martinez!! — just a playlist of her songs. love her!! <3
description; she is a queen and her songs have some very powerful messages! <3
calm down corner — calm songs that i think are calm. this is to just to help me stop. in the
description; to much thinking.. so just take a breath. please. innnn- hold, andddd outttt. all good? if not take another one.
Olivia r. -> olivia rodrigo’s album sour and some other songs by here.
description; fuck boys. ew.
my friends <3 -> theater songs.. ig. but it’s reminds me of my friends :D
description; i have friends? yes, yes you do!!! theatre kids <3 :D
raven & beast boy -> just a lot of songs. it’s a playlist for my favorite love story, ngl. i love the relationship the two of them have! and yeah, it’s a lovely playlist.
description; i love you <3 😽💗
billie. <3 -> her songs! all albums, not all songs, but the best so yay!
description; my love!!! <333 💗💗💗
lana del ray <3 — the songs that ik by her. ik there are a lot but i only know 33 of em.
description; goddess voice man <333
t.s <3 — Taylor Swift songs. i only know 40.
description; my bsf got me into taylor s. so yeah i made a list of my favorite songs <33
𖨆𖨆 = ♡︎ — A playlist I made for my partner though I do not know if they know it’s for them. but songs that I fall in love with and remind me of them and just in general ig.
description; im whipped <33 ;)
wlw <3 — women loving women 💍 period. gay songs ig.
description; women are amazing 💗 loving women is amazing! and i love them! so pop your shit love!! <333
toke 🍃🎶 — my smoke playlist but also just the songs that i love and I add most of the songs that I like in here just to listen to. so its a smaller version of garfields playlist (my big all around playlist).
description; high!! <3
i die for you <3 — my sad playlist ig. idk. it’s dark and sad songs but also badass songs too.
description; and only you. but you don’t for me..?
1st period 🐉 <3 — old songs. good vibes and everything!!
description; Theater 🎭 sup. third week in the making :D lots of oldies 🫶
4th p. boy’s vibe 🎸 — I don’t know how to explain the songs in here. lots of rock ‘n’ roll I would think.
description; and its only first week of school.. edit — i dont like him. i like his vibe! <3
im in love with myself <3 — I finally made this playlist. I hadn’t made for so long but I didn’t have any songs in it except like one song. but I literally love this play this now!! just songs that make me love myself <3
description; “just want to get to know myself” — my life is growing into MY life. AHHHHHHH-
school <3 🏫 — I don’t know what this play this is really meant for. I kind of just added songs that reminded me of school. I made this before school started also.
description; new school year..? playlist.
melody — it’s for my glee dr.
description; glee <33
Ren 🦔 <33 — A playlist for @/lalaland06 <333
description; “𝗆𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗆𝗎𝗌𝗂𝖼 𝖽𝗈𝖾𝗌” — unknown.
sage 🦦 <33 — A playlist for @/sagesworlddd <333
description; “lose your mind so that you can gain a new way of knowing.” — Quote by Holly Lynn Payne.
note; I don’t really know if these quotes go with these people but I put them when I made the playlist and I don’t want to change them because I love them.
smoking with 🦦 & 🦔 <33 — they are my smoking buddies so smoking playlist!!
description; 🍃🎶
dance 🕺🏼💃🏼 — I like dancing and this is kind of just a mix of hip-hop dancing songs and some actual dance songs. idk. no description.
lilyflower and prongs — this goes with my dark Paradise dr. where I am James and Lily‘s daughter. 
description; mom & dad <3
Seaboy — it’s my Percy Jackson playlist.  you know surprisingly enough even though I haven’t read all of the books I’m a big Percy Jackson fan. like I love reading fanfiction of Percy Jackson and it’s amazing and I want to read the books too but I’m already reading a book series so, it’s added to my wants of reading.
description; look, i didn’t want to be a half-blood.🗽⚡️🌊🦋🌼
Dark Paradise | hp — my Harry Potter dr where i am the older sister of Harry.  no description.
euphoria but fuck you — euphoria vibe ngl. chill songs. I made this during the season two of euphoria coming out and everything. 
description; *sigh* if you shuffle this bitch it’s awesome
Twilight — I actually had three playlists that was for one twilight dr and I decided that I didn’t like that so I added all three of those into one. or I added two into one but whatever it’s now one consistent playlist of twilight vibes. but yeah. 
description; aesthetically pleasing songs…  of twilight ig
garfield <3 — this playlist right here is everything. everything to me and everything that goes with music for me.
description; all around playlist <3
old 2019- — ugh. I hate this playlist but I keep it around because why not. it was during that horrible phase where rap music consisted of mumbling words. where it was a bunch of songs turned into TikTok songs and will forever be TikTok songs now. I don’t care if you like the songs or not, it’s just my opinion.
description; idk these songs suck.
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not much, no updates, just warbling ~🐸💌
funny brain day, funny funny brain day 🥴
ive been listening to this song a lot recently
wow okay idk why its so large pop off ig
but ye, feeling a little strange. not much to say about it. if u listen to the above song, or already know it, I feel a lot like the high-pitched drawn-out warble in the background 3:22 and elsewhere.
sometimes it really do just be me vs me some days, and idk if it's the weather or what but today is definitely one of those strange grey long warbling days.
meds are good :> kinda.
the latest increase has made me feel more anxious, but I'm actually remembering things, which is a strange notion. to just *gain* the ability to remember short-term again. it's curious & a curious feeling
I looked over my blog the past couple of days and - well, I sighed hahahaha. I'd love to be an aesthetic blog but, this is not something I know how to do I'm afraid ~ so it is what 'tis ~
got a tiny new tattoo :> and planning another large one. very happy about this!!!
mmmm I have been fighting myself a lot tho - in a good way!! - meds are giving me space and time / the spare brain capacity to be able to put down my '''''''''''''demons''''''''''''. In violent quotation marks because I hate that phrase/word lmfao. More like sometimes the imposter thoughts truly fester in my brain after a bought of happiness and strike after; when I'm recovering my energy.
like today
maybe i should be a better daughter? mmmmm.
maybe i should talk less, complain less.
maybe i should delete my old fics - they don't rly read that great to me anymore.
maybe i should do the thing. whatever that thing is, I'm not sure. but I'm not sure if I'll ever become familiar with the persistent need to do the thing.
people around me have started accommodating my ADHD; and others have begun making it my only personality trait. watching years worth of friendship have me minimised into 'ah, Liv's ADHD', and not.... me. the uphill battle is constant, but I will continue until I have nothing left to give.
but im also trying very hard to talk kindly to myself. :>
its working. slowly. kinda. a little bit.
have been following ppl that inspire me. hwasa, Megan, CL, youngji, and many others. safe refuges of idols to look at and nod 'yeah, this is good, I'm doing good'.
thats all ~ all my updates; for this blog, for now.
I've enjoyed looking back on my little check-in posts, and seeing how far I've come.
some obligatory memes for my aching brain hehehe ~
love liv 💗
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About Mod Souda
You guys should talk to me in the ask box more smh you guys are fun
Like just tell me about your day but I won’t guarantee that like 1000% I’ll respond but I’ll read them all.... efkjlwdbsc or or ask me questions or something idk I like talking
1500 followers face reveal when (shocked emoji) /srs
Anyways here’s some things about me because I never really introduced myself (since this is my account and why would I do an introduction)
THIS IS LITERALLY MY LIFE STORY GOODBYE BAHSBAH
-Mod Souda
Hi I am Mod Souda and I go by he/him ofc ofc I am a gay man.
Uhh I am an a native amercan mixed kid AND an Aquarius ugh I’m so unique right. I was raised by a raver and a metalhead skater in Vegas. I’ve been in the pit since I was 4 years old (specifically at a Primus concert LMAO).
The first fandom I was in was Creepypasta, and I was about 8 years old. It’s funny because the first musician I ever actively liked was Madame Macabre.
As a child (like 7-11) I mainly listened to Vocaloid, Madame Macabre, and Nicki Minaj.
When Avengers came out I was still in elementary school. And .. Loki... wrjhfbwejdhb bro!! gay awakening!! holy shit. I was in love with him but I didn’t want to admit it smh shhh.
The first anime I ever watched was Black Butler. I was IN LOVE with Joker from Book of Circus ehbwdjqshdfb. The last episode of that season ended the day I moved to California. I remember crying bc of the last scene inside of the moving truck.
I also got into Fairy Tail a lot. Also tragic. I had the hugest crush on Gajeel Redfox mmmmmemdwkgsnekfdjsglkvcx
I live in the Bay Area, and grew up in the same house, compared to living in Vegas where I moved every two years. There are ... so many poc here ... and in vegas I was in a class with all white people. Being around so many poc was so like ?? fun ?? idk how to describe it but it feels like how life should feel like; not stressful at all.
I started listening to goth music when I was 12 because I was in the Mr. Creepypasta amino and somebody was like “you guys should join the goth amino” and I was like oh that sounds so fun !!! Boom... goth Mod Souda arrived.
I was all about Sopor Aeternus and Switchblade Symphony.
I discovered my lifelong favorite artist in like 2016. It was because I was making playlist for my Fairy Tail oc (tragic) and I added this song I got off of a “Creepypasta Theme Songs” and it was Bernadette by IAMX (which was assigned to Laughing Jack). And I listened to the song and was like meh this is cool. Then one day I played the playlist and it just.... hit different. LMAO I was like waiitittttititit. The next day, on the way to the airport, I downloaded all 7 (at the time) of his albums and listened to them the whole way. I’ve seen him live too like mm chris corner I love you.
I got into DR in 2015 because of an edit of (anime) Syo and Junko to Pound the Alarm LOL. I was like “this looks cool” so I watched it on my phone while sitting on the couch all in one go. Spoilers but I cried the most when mondo and sakura died, fun fact. Life went down from there smh!!
I really believed that I was dating Gundham Tanaka. Like everything in my life was Gundham Tanaka related like I was ... obsessed with him. And I coudln’t see art of him and sonia because it would make me have a breakdown bc I thought he was cheating on me PLZ BHDSABHJBAHAAHHA it’s funny because I kin sonia now and I’m in love with her.
This was the same year where I ???? got bruises on my eardrums somehow (I asked my dad recently how I got them and he went uhh idk) ???? and I couldn’t hear anything for like three years plz. My hearing has gotten better but idk if my ear percentage is 100%/100% or if I’m just grateful it isn’t what it is before LMAO so that’s when I started learning ASL.
This is also the same year where I got hospitalized for being a neurodevelopmental schizophrenic lol OOPS !
A funny story of me growing up with danganronpa is uhh when future arc was still airing ,,, Spoilers,, and the episode with Juzo passing aired,, I literally printed the frame of him talking to himself confessing his love and BROUGHT IT TO SCHOOL. I LIT A CANDLE FOR HIM TOO LIKE BYE
Freshman year of highschool I started dating an emo kid who brought his electric guitar to school. TRAGIC. We dated for like two years please what.
Sophomore year I started getting into metal and punk. This is mainly because I went to a Slayer concert. I was trying to branch out of my goth bubble and !!! metal really stuck with me. My favorite subgenre is goregrind. It’s mmm so good. Punk... was a miss. I absolutely hate punks. If anyone in the alternative community is reading this right now I’ll tell you this: the punks that I interacted with to learn more about the community were from OC .... goodbye
I still listen to Glass Street tho ^ they are hc/crossover and I really like their music omg I have their merch now plz HBSAJKH and I still like the patch pants / crusties I made so that’s cool. A lot of kids look up / glamorize me just because of my fashion but at least they give me clout ig ...
The year after that I downloaded Spotify for the first time. I was an apple music/youtube person (tragic). Uhh what else omg. I finally figured out that I was neurodevelopmental and that it affected my way of thinking and that ,, it wasn’t JUST because I am sch so that was an awakening.
Anyways now trying to get a minor in asl interpreting mmmm and trying to get a job SMH !! why is it so hard. I’m into DND now oo that’s new and I’m collecting the dice.
I started this blog in July 2020 when I was staying with my friend in a tent in New York for a couple of months. I forced her to watch despair arc (LOL) and now she’s a junko cosplayer so B^)
Metalhead anon and everyone else who’s been here for a long ass time make me SOOO happy like woah.. it’s been so long omg. I used to post fics three times a day like wtf the EFFORT (that was before school started lol oops my bad)
Since then I’ve got a boyfriend and a whole wave of danganronpa cosplayers who are my friends now. It’s really cool to talk to so many young people (sometimes) who are hella into like,, open conversations about gender and politics and whatnot. I’m used to talking to 20 year old goth people you know?
Whenever I do something “cringey” (like if I want to do dr character impersonations or if I want to rant about how much I love this anime character or if I want to try out neopronouns) I’m like hmmmm I can go to the danganronpa cosplayers and I know they won’t judge me for this.
Anyways that’s it. It’s 22:50 where I am right now aaaanndd I go on this blog way more than I should LOL
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Survey #459
“i wanted you to know that i love the way you laugh / i wanna hold you high and steal your pain away”
Does the person you like have any flaws? He's never seemed very expressive of what he feels.
Has anyone ever given you a ring? Why? Yes. Because it was our anniversary and he wanted to, ig.
If you ruled your own country, what type of government would it have? I'm not educated enough to answer this.
Creation theory, Evolution or the Big Bang theory? I really don't know what I believe about the origins of the universe, but I do believe in evolution.
Describe one of your most emotional farewells. The last time I saw Jason and we talked for a long time, and I finally got my closure. It was all so heavy. It started so stiffly, but it ended with us just chatting and smiling and, to my absolute shock, a hug from him. I'm getting emotional so NEXT QUESTION.
What was your last serious conversation about? I was reassuring and comforting Sara about some stuff.
Is there a city that you have a particular fondness for? If so, what city is it and why? No.
Are there any gnomes in your yard? No.
When was the last time you were stung by a bee? What kind was it? Years ago. A bumblebee.
Are you gonna buy lottery tickets when you’re old enough? I am old enough, and no. The odds are way, way too small, and I don't really dabble in addictive behavior.
Have you ever been into a real cave? No. :( That's a life goal, though.
Have you ever posted mean comments on YouTube? I know I did once as a kid. It was regarding Meerkat Manor and I thought it was really disrespectful to Flower just because of the music chosen lmao. The drama.
What color is your digital camera, if you have one? Black.
If you had to spend one day in any movie storyline, which one would it be? Alice in Wonderland, I suppose?
Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Oh man, I've played waaaaay too many video games. I suppose Silent Hill with how confused it left me at first. Its concept is definitely wild. Parasite Eve is high on the list, too.
In your opinion, what is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Boy in the Striped Pajamas destroys me.
What is the best song to make out to? I could answer this but I'm not gonna lmfao
Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? story of my life ayyyyeeeee
Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? Not a clue.
Who was the last person close to you that died? Did you cry? Jason's mom. I sobbed on-and-off for days.
Do you consider yourself a healthy person? Physically and mentally? No, in either way.
Do you know anyone who owns a boat? My dad does. I'm sure others, too, with how popular fishing out on a boat is here.
Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? I don't know. Even for medicinal purposes, it's not legal here.
Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No.
What did you do for your 21st birthday? I was in the psych hospital, so... lmao. Therapy, reading, and coloring. Lots of reading and coloring. Because they did NOT fill your schedule enough there. We only had two group therapy sessions a day, and the rest was just... blankness.
If dinosaurs could be tamed, would you want one as a pet? I know I'd be one of the dumb ones that absolutely wanted a tiny raptor, lol.
Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No.
If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? Not interested.
Do you eat soup when you’re sick? I don't like soup.
If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? My first real series that I read religiously was Hank the Cowdog. Then it was Warriors.
Do you buy Halloween candy when it’s on sale after the holiday? No. I really don't need candy available to me.
Do you agree with the “they’re just being kids” excuse? It depends on what they're doing. In a lot of cases, no.
Do you ever watch talk shows? No.
Do you have a/any hero(s)? Mark Fischbach, Steve Irwin, my mom...
Have you told your parents all of your secrets from when you were a teen? No. Though Mom has playfully once told me that she knows a lot of things I don't think she does, and that's terrifying lmao.
You’re getting married. Who’s your maid of honor and best man? M.o.H.: Mom or Sara. Best man isn't my choice.
Would you rather get highlights or dye your whole head? DYE IT ALLLLLLL.
Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My friendship ring w/ Sara. It has a heart carved on the outside and "bitch" engraved inside so no one can see when you have it on, lol. She has one that says "jerk." It's a Supernatural reference.
Who challenges you the most? In what way? My therapist and psychiatrist. They just help ensure I pursue my goals and give me little nudges forward to reassure me.
Who seems to hold you back? In what way? PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT ME. I listen to my anxiety WAY too much.
What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? Going up to Lake Gaston w/ Mom to visit Ash and her fam. They go there all the time, and it's a real nice place. I just didn't want to go because of the heat.
Should there be an application process for having children? Hunny, that would not stop people from fuckin lmfao
Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? m e e r k a t s
What is a fear you have about living on your own? That depression would get the better of me and I'd neglect taking good care of my house. One of the many reasons I'll never live alone. Not at all saying I'd leave the responsibilities to my partner, but they'd be motivation for me to get stuff done.
What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. Nothing that bad.
What’s your stance on spooning? It helps me feel safe and loved and alsdkfjalwe I just love cuddling in all sorts lmao
What’s your most recent obsession? Violet Orlandi & Melodicka Bros' cover of "Somebody That I Used to Know."
Have you ever been scammed? Ha ha, yes. I once wanted to get Jason a Joker and Harley Quinn pillow from deviantART; talked to the artist, paid 'em, never got it. :^)
Have you ever fostered an animal? No. I would get WAY too attached to foster. I wouldn't be able to give them up without breaking down, probs.
Do you know anyone who acts way younger than what they are? I'm sure I do, but no one is coming to mind atm.
Would you say you’re a pretty independent person? God no.
Does the last song you listened to, remind you of someone? JASON.
Do you currently want a new computer? Yes, actually. I want a desktop PC for better gaming quality, honestly. Also, the "escape" key doesn't work on this laptop, one key is missing so I have to hit the sensor JUST right, and it restarts randomly sometimes. I want a PC mainly because I want to get out of the habit of being on my laptop in bed all damn day.
How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? I already have like six or seven, so they wouldn't be surprised.
Is there anyone you can picture yourself being with forever right now? Maybe.
Who is your truest friend? Sara.
What is the strangest thing you’ve ever seen outside of your house? THIS house? Idk. Nothing that I'd consider odd.
What bug frightens you most? STAG BEETLES lkadjslkfja;lwekjawl;kejrlawer
Who is your oldest friend? That would be Sam, and he's in his mid-30s.
How long have you known them? Many years. We met via WoW, which I've been playing since '14. I don't really remember how far into it we met, though.
Where are they right now? lol I wouldn't know, he's all the way in Jersey. Plus we haven't talked in a while.
Have you ever dated a friend of one of your siblings? God no, that would be so weird.
What is the best gift someone can give you? An ear to listen without it feeling like a chore to them.
Have you ever dated someone who had a child? No. I don't think I could do it.
What is the last movie that made you cry? The The Lion King remake made me tear up.
Have you ever played in a waterfall? No. Ugh, that sounds like a blast.
In your life who has meant the most to you? Let's not get into this.
What has been your biggest failure in life? Letting depression and my other conditions take away my identity, becoming my new identity.
Do you trust yourself? No. I second-guess EVERYTHING and never know what I should listen to: my heart, my head, my gut... or which voice is what.
Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances? Yes.
What was the last bug you killed? Some kind in the bathroom. Idk what it was. Just a little thing that sort of resembled an earwig, but not completely.
Do you prefer profile pictures by yourself of with someone else? By myself, since it's my page.
Do you know anyone who has written a book? I don't think so?
Do you drink milk/juice from the carton if no one is around? Ew, no. I live with another person, and even if I didn't, what if I had guests?
Has anyone ever told you they liked you in a realllly sweet way? Maybe?
Has a member of the opposite sex ever given you jewlery? Jason has.
Do you find sleeping in cars easy? NOOOOOOOOOO. I'm too scared to let my eyes close and not see what's going on on the road.
Has a boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s parents ever gotten mad at you? Why? I don't believe so, no.
What is the funniest thing a child has ever said to you. Definitely something my niece has said, but idr what it was.
What’s been on your mind lately? Y'all know, lol.
Do you feel like you need to get something off your chest? No. Sara was recently there for that. ♥
How would you react if someone told you they had feelings for you? Be very very excited if it was from a certain person.
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Would you be willing to talk about your writing process? How many drafts you go through, how early on you run something by a beta, do you outline or not, etc.? I'm really curious to get a feel for how folks write!
Sure!! Not sure how coherent this will be but let's see lol. Also you'll notice that certain pieces vary a lot. Writing process under the cut!
Getting an idea: Most of the time, I get my fic ideas from either songs or random conversations with friends, and they're typically a sort of precipitating event or premise that leads to a character exploration. (Examples: What if Geralt was a ghost haunting Jaskier's house? What if Dan actually stayed for that drink Lucifer offered him?) But sometimes I look for a plot on purpose (e.g., I had been DYING to write a time loop for literal years before I finally worked out how I wanted it to look by brainstorming ways to subvert the conventions w/in the trope).
It's hard to like, delineate this tho because in reality it's sort of messy and mushed bc of how my brain works. Like, the truer to life approximation of deciding to write and yet so far from death was more like: receiving comfort as the reminder you are lacking it -> ooh ghost love story as ultimate yearning -> who would be more fun to write as a ghost? -> Jaskier as ghost = inversion of dynamic / Geralt as ghost = extension of dynamic -> Geralt as ghost sounds fun -> why would Jaskier be stuck in a house with a ghost? -> he's retiring from a life on the road -> what Jaskier is lacking is permanence/stability -> ghost story as paradox of permanence and impermanence -> okay but on the plot level what would happen if Geralt was haunting Jaskier's house?
Outlining: I usually start writing without formalizing an outline, just to get a feel for the story itself, but I tend to have an idea for the major beats/the thesis statement living amorphously in my brain. Then partway thru the fic I type out an actual outline tracking major occurrences and functions of scenes; occasionally I'll write a whole fic without an outline tho, especially if it's shorter (<16k).
Drafting/Editing: I do somewhere between 1.5 and 2 drafts, depending on how you define a distinct draft ig? I've never completely rewritten a whole story like some schools of writing suggest, but I will definitely go back and make edits. I usually self-edit as I go and then do a full re-read/edit at the end of draft completion. For the as-you-go stuff, I typically re-read everything I wrote the day before which helps both 1) get me into the mood for writing again and 2) make any small tweaks etc + catch typos. When I do the big edit at the end, I try to change something about how I physically read the draft (e.g. read on computer instead of phone, change the font) which helps shake up my brain I guess?
Betaing: I am deeply spoiled by my friends and endlessly grateful for them, lol. At minimum, I like having someone I can excitedly flail about my ideas with while I'm writing (usually multiple someones) and talk through stuff that might be stumping me (e.g. idk if it would be funnier if X or Y happened, hey do you think vampires can feel the cold), and then someone--often the same person but not always--do a full read-through after the fic is done. A lot of times, especially for longer stuff or when I'm feeling down on myself, I'll ask someone to beta and/or cheerread along with me while I write. And I bug them with lots of questions like "Is this landing for you? Do I need to slow down the dialogue here? Am I funny even a little bit?" and they offer feedback and/or encouragement. But also sometimes I get impatient and/or cannot tolerate concrit so I just fling it into the void without beta lol
Other stuff: it's also worth noting that I daydream about my projects constantly? Showering/laying in bed before or after sleep/driving places is all prime fic plotting time. If I'm listening to music, whatever song I'm listening to will probably become related to a fic. This isn't like, a conscious ~dedication~ thing: it's pure, unadulterated neurodivergent hyperfixation. Also, I rarely read other people's fic if I'm writing any of my own, bc for me the writing and reading circuits are quite different, but I re-read/re-watch the source material a lot.
I do also re-read my own fic a decent amount, partly because I genuinely enjoy my own writing and partly because I like noticing my own trends/recurring themes/etc which is easier to do if you take in your work later, at more of a distance. Reading people’s comments about what they enjoyed is also helpful, because it gives me a sense of what things land and what things don’t (or don’t get commented on as being a stand-out, at least). I don’t enjoy getting concrit outside of beta I’ve specifically asked for, but I very much enjoy hearing what people did like so I can do more of it.
Titling/Summaries: Usually I come up with a title partway through writing based on a song I've found to take inspiration from. I get really excited when I find a title, lol. I hate summaries very much except for when I love them? I semi-recently converted to the school of using a snappy quote from the fic to make the summary, which makes my job easier lol. I usually like picking quotes that are 1) relatively brief, 2) encapsulate the tone of the fic, and 3) not huge spoilers. Sometimes I'll write a line and go, "yup, that's gonna be the summary," which is fun.
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l&r shua and specially studio choom l&r shua... i still have no idea how i survived that, also it gave us blue hair cheol too <3 ... him sleeveless with blue hair, there are so many happy things just from this cb jdjsksskks i adore it.
wonshua fr were something else during l&r... omg after school, I'm guessing you've been into kpop way before me. anytime any clip from 17tv pops up i'm just ' they're so smol here they're so cute ' but also most of the time i have no context as well it's djjdsjskks. idk why but svt club is still something i find myself watching again i really liked its concept and them talking and sharing their thoughts it's very simple but also heart-warming.
is it creepy if i say i kind of did sghjkk i actually got to know you are interested in got7 recently when i ended up clicking the links in your bio. i swear im not a weird stalker jdjeekke i've been following your got7 blog way before than this one djdjdjjddj i only found this svt one recently after i decided to completely move back to tumblr and started following svt accs. I didn't know both blogs were you for a long time jddjdkd i apologize if it does seem lil creepy JDJDKSKSLS
jinyoung and mark are my biases, my ults actually <3 and yess i'm keeping up w/ their solo projects even more than before 😭 it's so jdjdkdkd. 2017 was the year i started listening to kpop and around that time or lil later i came across ' you are ' this song is so dear to me i loved it in first listen, its lyrics i love its lyrics sm i made everyone i know listen to it dhjddk yet i didn't dive in deeper bc i was caught up with other group at that time but slowly I started watching their content from 2018. it's like got7's been w/ me since the start & at the same time not </3 but look, lullaby and more importantly spinning top came and everything changed with that album it's so goood from then i started keeping up with their music and check their cbs. i knew jype was meh even when i didn't stan them but i didn't know to what extent, i only got to know after 2019. so far it's all so good and i hope it stays like that. all of their different companies treat and promote them nicely 🥺.
with svt it was instant love i got to know abt them during march 2019 ig, their songs grew on me so fast and boom by the time may came i was a carat, with got7 it was gradual love, it increased lil by lil it's nice but i do wish i could've stanned them earlier. the only cb experience as an official birdie i have is nbtm and last piece 😭 anyway both of these groups are very dear to me not just musically but emotionally too. i love them very much 😔.
also omg those are some of the great artists!! i honestly have no idea how khh and krnb are i mostly listen to kpop and kbands more. i actually listen to a lot of artists but regularly only zayn, svt, got7, the rose (ik we're talking abt kpop but i can't leave zayn out of this djdjdkdk he's the first ever artist i have stanned <3)
also onewe, n.flying, a.c.e, gaho ( i love his voice <3) woodz, day6. yk when you want new music but also something which you'd instantly enjoy otherwise you don't want new music sghjk, when i feel like this i just go to any of their discography. also special mention to hoppipolla and lucy bc they always bring something new to the table i love them for it. i love these artists but honestly i listen to them when i am in mood. i listen to gotsvt and zayn the most at the end of the day. goodnight <3 i love talking to you too 🥺🥺🥺 also feel free to answer late when you're free. hoping i made sense in this one and answered everything bc i am too sleepy rn fjdjkd - 🪂
BLUE HAIRED COUPSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH THE RIPPED ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!1
iconique if u ask me <3 i heard lnr was indeed a good era for everyone!! wasn't it also cheol's first cb after his break? y'all must've had Fun fun
yes i have 😭 i grew up w koreans so... i guess that's also an influence. i got into kpop on my own volition during 4th grade though, so that's prob 2009/10??? GOD I FEEL SO ANCIENT RN!!!! honestly i still dk what 17tv was about i feel like we were just watching streams of some boys w no context as well 😭 AND YES OMG I GET THAT!! svt club is super chill and it's a great way of learning more abt the members!
JKDFJKKJDFFDKJ HELP!!!!!!!!!!! WAIT OH MY GOD YOU WERE IN MY G7 BLOG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM SO EMBARRASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 as i've mentioned last time, got7 got me back into kpop and consequently tumblr 😭😭😭 i 'left' tumblr too and was just checking in occasionally, so when i made that g7 sideblog i was WAY behind the times and my first edits were so fucking- 😭 everything about me then was also so performative idk why i felt the pressure to be in on the club 😭 why were you not annoyed with me then 😭 i'd block me if i saw me on the dash KJFKJFDKJDF thank god i got over it though (or should i be.. i'm a menace on the dash now <3 KJDKKJDFKJF) AND NOOO OMG it's not creepy at all. i put those links in for people to see them after all!! and i'm actually kind of honored you followed me even w/o knowing its me <3 i feel like i've passed the vibe check JJFDKJKJFD do you also follow my main 👀 i rmb someone greeting me here on my bday who said the exact same thing you did 😭
U LIKE OLD MAN JINYOUNG 😭😭😭 ok that makes sense w ur svt bias line tbh <3 i like jinyoung a lot too he's such a smug pain in the ass <3 ALSO MORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i l*ve mark oh my god i- i know i keep saying this... but ur taste <3 AND YOU ARE 😭😭 THE ERAS YOU DISCOVER/GET INTO GROUPS ARE SOOOO GOOD </3 you are was so meaningful to them, and i'm still so incredibly proud of them for this regardless of commercial success. also what group were u into that time omg 👀 I ALSO GOT INTO THEM DURING SPINNING TOP ERA KJFDKJFDKJFJKFDJKFD WHY ARE WE SO SIMILAR!! u seem to like jaebeom's songs a lot <3 AND MS LULLABY!!! oh my god that's my favorite era <3 and yeah, so true bestie, i couldn't be happier for them they're doing FAR better than they have ever had compared to when they were in that shitty company. i'm still so amazed how they pulled all of this off though. jaebeom's must've went thru loads of papework he was prob so determined to show that old man what they are capable of FDJKDFJKD
NAURRR OMG IT'S SO CUTE HOW U PUT IT THAT WAY!! and i'm sure you'll get to experience more cbs with the 7 <3 they were already hinting at it yesterday on twt JKFDJKJKFD
OHHH THAT'S COOL!!! i haven't had a chance to listen much to kbands now, and if u ask me abt them the first ones that come to mind are ft island and cnblue bc im a kpop hag 😭 OH WAIT MAYBE DAY6 for the new ones?? my friends have also been recommending n.flying, the rose, and onewe to me. which bands do you listen to? and zayn??????? <3 ur so right abt that DFKJKJDFFDKJFD also omg go listen to khh they changed my life <3 i can give u a playlist if u'd like!! <3
OH WAIT THERE GOES THE BANDS FKDGKJKJF i usually reply paragraph by paragraph without reading the whole ask so JDFKJDFJK WAIT WOODZ????????????????????????? HELLO???????????????????? I LOVE THAT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S SO SEXIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he's so cute too if that helps </3 ALSO MOOD I CANT BRING MYSELF TO LISTEN TO NEW MUSIC NOWADAYS EVEN IF I WANT TO BC OF THE SAME EXACT REASON 😭 the way we get each other is so- and i've never heard of hoppipolla omg i'll go listen to them now!! indeed <3 gotsvt is our home <3
and nooo u are so cute omg </3 and don't feel pressured to respond immediately to me as well!! i'm a v late replier but i'll always reply JKJKFDJKFD AND DW everything u said made perfect sense <3 i hope u get/got a good night's rest!! and that you'll have an awesome day ahead <3
#didn't wanna risk losing my tags again so i'm giving u a novel this time around JKDFJKJKFDJKD#anon#🪂 anon#y.ask#long post
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tagged by @buoyantsaturn
name: annie
pronouns: she/her (but also any work i’ve never gotten why ur supposed to care abt pronouns. whatever works)
height: 4′10″ 😌
favorite bands: mmm idk the mountain goats? i don’t listen to many bands anymore
favorite artists: orla gartland, billie marten, jack stauber, lots of others too that i dont feel like listing lol
song stuck in your head: currently listening to the louvre by lorde so that ig
last movie you watched: i have no clue i haven’t watched a movie since like. january. ??? no idea
last show you binged: slings and arrows everyone go watch slings and arrows its on youtube and its great i love slings and arrows sm
when you created this account: halloween night 2015 babey (about a month after i turned 13)
other blogs: too many to list. honestly i have 83 in total and thats after a recent blog purge i had ~120 at one point. of those 83 i think ~50 are in use the rest are url hoards 👉👈 tumblr dont delete me hahahahahha. anyways some of the ones that are actually worth looking at are @pjozz, @unwieldyink, @necrodiangelo. i also have a sideblogs page on my blog if ur interested in looking at my others, i have one for every side fandom i’ve ever been in and also a bunch of aesthetic sideblogs. basically i use the “new blog” button like other people use tags lmao.
why i chose my url:
@bookplush- i’m actually not cool and my mom signed me up for tumblr lmao (again i was barely 13) so she chose this one because i was being indecisive about a username. she just looked at my bookshelves and named what she saw (books and plush toys [like stuffed animals]) and said bookplush! and i liked it and there would be so many broken links if i change it now so i just kept it
@pjozz- this one is my fandom moodboard blog (inactive now) and originally it was called heroesofemotions but that. is a dumb name. so i changed it and i wanted something simple and short but had pjo in it so!! pjozz it is
@unwieldyink- i actually don’t really like this url much anymore. i made this blog (my writing/fic blog) in like 2017 or something and i wanted to pick something that sounded ~writery~ and ~poetic~ but now i just think it sounds silly and pretentious lol but AGAIN i would have so many broken links and there have been so many times that i’ve looked for a blog and not been able to find it bc they change their url that i kind of. never change urls ever now so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@necrodiangelo- this is my nico aes blog and the url is obviously nicodiangelo but necro instead of nico. i am very proud of this pun everyone look at it look at it now.
number of people i follow: 510
followers: on this blog? 651. it’s my third most followed blog i believe. first is @pjozz even tho its inactive now rip and second is @unwieldyink
hours of sleep: it really varies some nights its 12 and some nights its like 4 lmao. tonight is gonna lean more towards that second option because i’m not even a third of the way thru my math homework due at 9am tomorrow :) gonna be up all night doing it but thats ok thats the sunday night routine now
lucky number: dunno if i have a lucky number but my fav numbers are 2 and 7 so any combination of those. 2, 7, 22, 27, 72, etc
currently wearing: pajamas. constellation sweatpants and a tank top. oh and fuzzy socks :3
dream trip: i’m such a travel romanticizer i literally daydream about going EVERYWHERE. i want to go everywhereeee. my dream trip would be like. dipping into every single country in the world lmao but that’s obviously not feasible.
dream job: i simply do not dream of labor /hj. but actually uhhh idk i daydream about being a writer or actor or singer or some other creative so i guess that. but i’m never gonna be those irl so
favorite gift(s): idk gift giving and receiving are both more of a hassle to me than anything. BUT i like gifts that are like. “oh i saw this on the way home and thought of you!!” those are cute! thats why i send my friends posts that remind me of them :3. but like. when i have to give or receive gifts for an Official Occasion like birthday or whatever that’s. hhhh too much pressure
favorite song: NO clue bud. probably something by orla i love orla
universes i’d like to visit: i. don’t know what this one means tbh. like fictional universe? i mean i’d always love to go to chb
tagging: anyone who wants to! sorry its late and i don’t wanna go through who has and hasn’t been tagged already lol
#sorry if this seems more low energy than usual im. sleeby. and fed up w this homework#anyways yes thank u for tagging me!
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multiples of 1 for the wc asks :]
;;;; jgfdlkgjdl puts this under a cut bc itll be so long but,, ty
1. what color is scourge’s collar?
i think like.. idk i never really cared too much but my brain always went to red or purple i wasnt picky tho fkgkdfklgj
2. top 5 the prophecies begin characters
oh.. okay like.. im not gonna go thru everything otherwise i probably wouldnt be able to pick but! these also arent in order
1. bluestar absolutely.. god i love her sm;; ive already rambled about her to you but she makes me fucking ache sm
2. brackenfur/thornclaw gonna put these boys together here because like i liked both of them for.. almost no reason? FDGDFGDF idk!! i think i liked thornclaw just a bit more but.. my boys!!
3. cinderpelt ... no explanation required <3 no just.. yeah ;_; i cry over her so much just.. like.. the tragedy to like her accepting and loving herself and becoming an amazing med cat and and ;;;;;;;;; i love her
4. tallstar and crookedstar..... leaders of my two fav clans.... need i say more <3 (ive also told you about these two and why i like them ;; both their books made me cry)
5. barley and ravenpaw ...... yeah ;_; <3
special mention for littlecloud and runningnose.. i loved them-- OKAY I NEED TO STOP IM AT WAY MORE THAN FIVE
3. should hollyleaf have had a power?
i say no!! the fucking.. tragedy of it all.. like its been a while since i read but fuck dude the like.. feelings of uselessness that must come with that but like shes a fucking complete cat either way and when she comes back and fucking sAVES IVYPOOL OH IM MAKING MYSELF TEAR UP shes AMAZING and did not need a power
4. millie or silverstream?
both! ;_; they dont need to fight. tho i think i did like silverstream more at first i dont think i ever hated millie like others
5. favorite forbidden romance
oh god lmao gonna only go with canon stuff [side eyes moth/leaf] buttttttt i mean ;; bluestar and oakheart ;; itll always make me ache yknow.. -- WAIT CAN I ADD CLOUDTAIL AND BRIGHTHEART TO FAV CATS TOO ILL CRY OVER THEM SOBS... -- uhhhhhh i never super liked leaf/crow just.. shrugs. ig it wasnt forbidden but stormfur staying with the tribe for brooke.. ;;;;;;; and to stay where feathertail died.. GOD ;_; yeah.. idk does tall/jake count ;;;
6. favorite sss warriors design
tbh i didnt really watch sss warriors but we love a nice just.. orange boy firestar :3
7. realistic or sparkle designs for roleplay?
its about balance........ ive had both! i liked leaning towards realistic but to this day id say i fall between like.. not realistic wrt genetics but making designs that Seem plausible at least
8. first deviantart username
oh god i dont remember prolly something like.. with mossmask in it
9. favorite crack ship (ex. revengeshipping)
it.. Was revenge shipping but like i never knew the crack ships klfgjkfdlgj :sob: yeah tgat was the only one i like ever saw so
10. describe your first warriors oc
technically.. jaymoss who i dont remember much? gray tabby? very quickly was revamped into/replaced by mossmask who to this day is who i consider my first oc and sona.. theyre a calico :3
11. favorite amv prior to 2014?
oh god ill have to look.. hm okay so.. bones shatter was a fucking CLASSIC i loved it okay.. so off the top of my head here we go.. the one firegray one of course and bonus this firegray one too klfdgjdklfg AND I LOVED THIS ONE FUCKING ASHFUR FAIRYTALE i wanted to have art like that for a few months i tried to emulate it lkjgldkfgj and god i loved duckfeatherz stuff.. the why did you change one... AND THE SWIFT AND BRIGHT ONE FDGJDFLGK FUCKING [SCREAMING CAT] GOD I LOVED IT.. ;;;;; fuckin.. god.. they ..... ;; [IM WATCHING IT RN FUCKING THEY AND NOSTALGIA ILL CRY] okay okay fucking of course obligatory [what if ashfur wanted to break] of course god 9 year old me loved it.. kfdjgkdfg OH AND THIS ONE BROUGHT BACK SO MANY MEMORIES IMMEDIATELY.. SCOURGES FLAWED DESIGN YES KDLSFJSDKL and god.. ashfurs hurt.. i watched this so much the voice acting in amvs god yes... I STILL THINK OF THIS SONG AT RANDOM EVEN THO I NEVER LISTENED TO IT OUTSIDE OF THIS VIDEO!!!! THE FUCKING LKJFLKFJGDLKG !!!!!!! AHHHHHH fucKING AHH [HELP ME HELP YOU] [IT HURTS WHEN UR LONELY AND IM STANDING RIGHT BESIDE YOU AND IT HURT WHEN YOU TOLD M--] [ITS JUST A MATTER OF HOW MUCH U LET IT SLIDE!!!!!!!!] [HOPE U NEVER HURT HOPE YA NEVER CR--] GHFGHFG GOD ;;;; like i hate ashfur being a bitch but i loveddddd this amv :sob: also.. leafpool is sober of crowfeather i ;;; this song gets me to this day also i viscerally remember the voice acting god kljfg i loved this one so much.. i still think of tigerclaw is not one of thunderclan sometimes too klfjgdfg and,, okay
i hate to pick a favorite but i feel like this one changed the trajectory of Me...... like ive always loved the song but this amv cemented it as like one of my songs of all time and i loved the designs and video and... literally i love this one so.... of course... ashfur - mr brightside.. my fucking BELOVED
12. is brambleclaw a good main character?
i read the books like so young i hear he got shittier? like.. i liked him when i was like.. 10-13 reading the books i liked all the journey cats tbh so
13. rank the clans (excluding skyclan, including bloodclan)
windlcan/riverclan
shadowclan
thunderclan
bloodclan
in my opinion <3
14. dovewing or ivypool?
i like.. liked ivypool a lot.. maybe related to her <3 but.. i like them both a lot up to where i read at Least
15. daisy: yay or nay?
i liked her!
16. did you ever use fanart as your pc wallpaper?
yes. including my own <3
17. what would your warrior name be and what clan would you belong to?
mossmask <3 of course <3 [rolling eyes] half clan river and windclan kljgdfklgj yeah.. could never pick.. honestly i mean.. shadowclan grew on me recently but in my mind.. mixed clan and it goes between whether moss would be wind or river
18. favorite medicine cat? (cutoff being oots)
ughhhh idk i liked a lot of em ;; runningnose cinderpelt brambleberry yellowfang.... thats without looking it up so <3
19. did you name/want to name a pet after a character?
i wanted to! never did.. still might name a cat moss in honor of mossmask
20. swiftpaw, gorsepaw, or shrewpaw?
swiftpaw.. like i dont remember the other two as much in my mind and swiftpaw really got to me as a kid ;;
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