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jungle321jungle · 5 years

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Forms of Family 3

Part Three

Dee’s nerves were shot.

He had spent so much time- he didn’t even know how much anymore- talking to doctors who asked him the same questions so many times he wasn’t sure he knew the answer to them anymore.

On top of big general worry over Virgil’s condition, Patton would sporadically start to cry out of worry (in any other situation Dee would find it adorable), the twins were antsy as they began to rough house with one another, and finally Logan paced insistently as he kept trying to call their father (using Dee’s phone) to no avail.

Virgil was paler than he usually was, and his small chest heaved as he took short shallow breaths. His dark eyes were closed tightly, as if he was pain- and it only pained Dee more.

“Daddy?” Dee looked away from Virgil at the sound of Patton’s voice as he looked up to see the doctor had returned.

Patton climbed out his arms allowing him to stand slowly before he followed the doctor further away from the boys to speak.

“Based on the tests run and what you explained to us we believe he has a virus most likely caught for your other son, which led to an infection.”

Dee nodded digesting the information, “So he’ll be okay?”

“He will, but we will need to stay here for possibly a few days so he can have antibiotics, and monitoring. I’ll have him transferred out of the ER and into a more permanent room in a different part of the hospital.”

Weight fell from Dee’s chest as he gave a sigh of relief. No he didn’t want to be there longer, but long as Virgil was going to be okay that’s what mattered.

~~~~

Dee was thankful for his friends.

Despite his telling them that things were fine Brenda, Miranda, and more had come to offer well wishes. They brought him a change of clothes from the house and activities for the boys to do, and they had even offered to let the boys sleep in their homes as Dee was rooted to the spot.

Everyone was there to offer support.

Everyone but his husband.

“Daddy?” Patton asked pulling on his shirt.

Dee nodded and stood up and after making sure the other boys were fine he headed out the room to the bathroom.

He was gone for less than five minutes.

Less than five minutes.

And yet when he got back what did he find?

Virgil crying, Logan holding back a kicking and screaming Roman, and Remus- Remus had sunk his teeth into the nurses hand.

Dee was frozen and shock for half a moment until he noticed the nurse’s hand rise up to strike. But Dee’s fingers curled around her wrist before she could dare.

At his sudden appearance Remus released the woman and she wrenched her hand back. She tried to move back so Dee let her go.

“Do everyone a favor and watch your kids,” she snapped.

Dee held back a retort, he wasn’t going to piss off someone watching Virgil. “Remus apologize, now.”

Remus looked smug, but he gave an apology anyways, “Sorry.”

She hurried from the room then leaving Dee alone with his sons. The first thing he did was take a breath before he picked up Virgil and bounced him a few times to get the baby to calm down a bit. When he had quieted slightly he turned the others, “What happened?”

Logan let go of Roman, who then took up post beside Remus before he spoke. “Vee was crying and Remus wanted to help, but she came in and said we couldn’t touch him!”

“He’s our brother not hers!” Remus added in. “I know how to hold him! So she tried to pull me away, so I bit her! And she tried to hit me!”

“So I kicked her! Until Logan became a buzzkill!”

“She didn’t want you to touch him because it’s a matter of being sanitary, not familial ties,” Logan explained.

“So?”

“Yeah so?”

Dee gave a sigh, “You can’t bite people Remus. And I need you guys to listen to what the doctors and nurses say, alright? It’s what’s best for Virgil, okay?”

“Okay...”

“Fine... But if she’s mean to him, I’ll kick her again.”

Dee held back an eye roll (Logan didn’t), “Fine. Whatever, just sit and quiet down.”

“Fine parenting,” Logan muttered.

“Logan, I’m not in the mood.”

“Noted.”

~~~~

It took two nurses, one doctor‍, and his friend Miranda to pull him away from the hospital room. But the furthest he would go is the first floor to get a coffee.

“So glad I pried you from that room,” Miranda commented as they stepped out of the elevator onto their floor.

Dee sipped at his coffee, “Yeah, the bad coffee is totally worth it.”

She rolled her eyes and was quiet for a moment before she spoke, “Have you heard from...?”

Dee gave a sigh as his fingers involuntarily clenched and unclenched into fists. “No. I left half a million messages and sent twice that in texts... and I got nothing.”

Miranda paused in thought, before she stopped in her walk and turned to face him with a serious look. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but personally I think you’re better off without him.”

“Miranda I-”

“I’m not going to overstep more than that. But if you are still set on trying to contact him, maybe you could try using someone else’s phone? He might have you blocked.”

Dee opened and closed his mouth unsure of how to proceed, but she nodded slowly.

“If you need a phone feel free to use mine.”

He watched as she pulled out the device and held it out to him, but he shook his head and turned. He couldn’t be blocked... right?

“We should head back,” were the only words he could force out as he turned to walk the way they had come.

The walk back was silent, until he slid open the door and was greeted with the scene inside.

“I win!”

The shout came from Roman and Remus playing some game on their iPad in the corner. Apparently Remus had won whatever it was. Beside them Logan was nose deep in a book while Patton lay on the floor with a coloring book. It was a scene so normal he almost wished he could pick the whole thing up and drop it in his house. That Virgil would be healthy and things could be back to normal.

When he entered the room they all looked up at him, but he said nothing making his way back to Virgil.

“When can V come home?” Patton asked him.

Dee gave a sigh as he sat in his seat, “Hopefully soon Patt. Tomorrow or the day after.”

“That’s far away.”

“I know, but it’s to make sure Virgil is feeling his best, alright?”

“He needs to feel better faster then.”

Dee nodded, “I agree.”

~~~~

“Pacific.”

“Pacific. P-A-C-I-F-I-C. Pacific.”

“Paralysis.”

“Paralysis. P-A-R-A-L-Y-S-I-S. Paralysis. Come on give me something harder.”

“Fine, sorry, I thought we starting easy and building up. Um so... exasperation.”

“What’s the point?” Roman interjected. “Logan wins every year. He doesn’t need to practice. He’s the best speller! ...Er...”

“Speller. And why do you go to soccer practice then?” Logan asked him. “You guys won the last three games.”

“We don’t play soccer anymore,” Remus put in. “We’re gonna do karate.”

Dee sighed, “That’s not confirmed yet.”

“We can’t do karate?” Roman asked. God the kid sounded like Dee had done something terrible. He grimaced,

“I’m not saying that either. I need to look into some things first.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“It’s a maybe.”

"Maybes are yeses!"

Dee gave a sigh as Logan frowned, “They are not. Do- do you know the definition of both words?”

“It’s not a yes right now,” Patton threw in. “He has to talk to Dad first!”

Dee felt a pain in his chest as he gave the boy a smile, “E-exactly Patt.”

“What’s the next word again?” Logan asked changing the subject.

Dee nodded thankful for it, “Um... we were on exasperation.”

“Exasperation. R-O-M-A-N-A-N-D-R-E-M-U-S. Exasperation.”

Dee just shook his head, “I need a nap.”

~~~~

When the name flashed on his screen Dee swore his heart stopped beating.

His eyes flickered to his sons to find Logan watching him curiously. He gave a hard swallow as he grabbed his phone tightly and walked out into the hallway. The nothingness in his heart was suddenly replaced by a jackhammer as he finally answered the call.

“Hello?” His voice shaky, quiet, and weaker than he wanted it to be.

“You always take forever to pick up,” grunted the voice on the other side.

“Virgil he-”

“Where’s your watch?”

Dee felt himself deflate, “What?”

“Where’s you watch?” He asked again. “The one I gave you on our honeymoon? I need it.”

“What? W-why?”

“Does it matter? Where is it?”

“I don’t know. But why-”

“Of course,” there was a banging and shuffling on the other side. “You fucking lose everything. I already checked your side table and the safe, do you have any ideas on where it could be?”

“Virgil is in the hospital,” Dee stated bluntly. “He has been for two nights now.”

“What does that have to do with a watch?”

Dee gave a laugh of disbelief as his anger began to rise, “Nothing at all. But he’s your son too, so shouldn’t that be where your concern lie? With your son? Or with a fucking watch?”

“...Don’t swear around the kids.”

“Oh now you’re concerned?” Dee shouted. “You hate that I swear, but you can’t fucking come to the hospital see your son? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Don’t raise your-“

“Don’t! Don't you even try to tell me what to do anymore. I’m done with you and all this bullshit. So listen up, you have two choices. You come here now and be with your children, or you get the fuck out of our lives and never contact us again.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Yes I can! I’m done lying to the boys! I’m done lying to myself! I gave you your choices. Come and be a father or get out of our lives.”

“Damien,” his voice was slow and angry, but Dee couldn’t bring himself to care.

“What?”

“You are aware that I pay for everything right?”

“...I guess you made your choice.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“If your money is more important that your children then you made your choice. So feel free to take your money with you. I’ll keep my kids.”

“Damien I-”

Dee cut him off by hanging up the phone. He stared down at it for a moment before he took a deep breath to stop the tears burning at his eyes.

“Dad?”

The soft call came from behind him and Dee turned to see Logan and the twins standing in the doorway. He opened and closed his mouth, but no words came out. He moved back into the room and sat in his chair before he felt small arms pull him into a hug.

He lost his battle against the tears as he hugged Roman back. There was a short pause before the other three joined and Dee held his children tightly to his chest.

“Daddy’s not coming back?” Patton asked quietly.

Dee forced himself to take a deep breath as he pulled back enough to look them all in the eye. “Our family is going to be a bit different now,” he started slowly. “But it’s okay. There’s many forms of families, and now ours is just us. But it’s okay, we’ll be okay. Can you guys trust me on that?”

Logan nodded and adjusted his glasses, “One hundred percent.”

“Good, I’m gonna need your help Logan.”

“You needed my help even when he was around.”

Dee smiled ignoring the way his tears still fell, “Glad I can count on you.”

“We thought he wasn’t coming back anyway,” Roman admitted.

Remus nodded solemnly, “Dad’s never been gone this long... Does he really not care anymore?”

“I’m sorry,” Dee told them both. “I want to think he does, but I don’t know. But I’ll be here for you guys regardless okay?”

Dee looked to Patton and it pained him to find tears in the young boy’s eyes. He pulled him close mumbling apologies as he was unsure what else to do. But Patton held him back saying that he loved him. And that was good enough.

Because even without him, they were still a family. And while some could try to cause rifts and difficulties to break them up, Dee would always be there for them as their father- as their dad who asked for nothing in return.

~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading!!!!

Part One • Part Two (1/2) • Part Two (2/2) • Part Three

#roman sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #ao3fic #patton sanders #logan sanders #deciet sanders #dad!deciet #dad!dee #dad!au #formsoffamily #kidfic #thingsssssssssss

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doodlewash · 5 years

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Hello, my name is Kratika Agarwal and I am an artist, designer and illustrator. I am originally from India and currently based in the Netherlands. As far as I can remember, I have always enjoyed painting since childhood. My mom sent me to art classes when I was a kid and she would absolutely love my paintings. She would keep gazing at them and praise me. Guess, she was the very first true fan I ever had.

But I think, all mothers are like that. I got busier with school and, soon after, my mom fell ill of cancer and she passed away. I completely lost all my touch with art. I had other daily responsibilities and barely had time to think about anything else. Time flew, I got busier, and I was in college. I completely forgot about anything which was called as art. Until it was just a few months back that I was suffering from chronic depression and major anxiety disorder that I picked up that paper and pen again.

Last year in October, I met with an accident which completely restricted me to the bed and I was on complete bed rest. Having no friends and family around, in a new country, it was really, really hard for me to actually survive!! I was glad enough that my hands were working. I had too much time to overthink about unnecessary things and I wanted the overthinking to stop. I thought of doing something to change my situation. I thought of making digital illustrations.

Digital Illustration

Though they sounded beyond my imagination, I never thought I would make something digitally. But, I didn’t give up. I picked up the iPad, and started making iPad illustrations while lying on the bed. The first thing I made on my iPad was a mandala. The mandalas I made were mostly on apps like Procreate and Amaziograph. I would think about basic patterns and draw. They helped me calm down a lot. I would pick up a centre point on the app and just randomly doodle around it until I found a pattern around them. Then I would fill it with colors. Vibrant colors would make me happy and I would keep smiling like a little kid and would look at my work and feel proud.

Digital Illustration

Soon after I started posting those mandalas on Instagram. Only late enough to realise, that people started loving them and they started appreciating the mandalas I would make. It gave me hope and courage! As I was still recovering, I kept making them more and more. It has been around 9 months to my injury, I am still struggling with my daily chores and my mental illness is still not cured, but if it wouldn’t have been the zeal to create something every day, I don’t think I would have been here talking about my art journey.

iPad Digital Illustration

As I could barely sit for even a few minutes, I would scroll and look for people who would teach on Skillshares. I would look for people who would use a digital medium and to my amazement, I found this amazing artist called Liz Kohler Brown who I absolutely credit for everything that I learnt about digital illustrations and for keeping me sane! Her classes, her resources, she herself have been so so kind to me. I would invest hours and hours to learn the techniques she taught and I was able to create digital illustrations in a snap! I felt overwhelmed and, soon after, I felt I wasn’t alone. I knew there were people out there! I can’t thank Liz enough! I started making Digital journals, wallpapers, surface designs and so much more.

The only thing which I did not like about the digital illustrations was, that I wasn’t very happy with watercolour illustrations. You can barely imitate water and colors digitally, but when you put it on paper, with watercolours, the work is absolutely something else. You have that control on the brush, you know what you’re creating and sometimes, you have no control because it is such a versatile medium that the pigments and water do their own magic! When you put it on paper, the water and pigments react in an amazing way and the results are incredible. I desperately wanted to get back to water colors! I was waiting to be able to sit on a table and chair.

Just until 2 months back, when I was able to sit (yay), I started painting again, I started making florals and landscape. I learnt about artists who would teach on Skillshare and on YouTube. I would watch them and try to recreate with what I knew and what I learnt. I started enjoying the process! I fell in love with watercolours. I make my illustrations with watercolours, gouache and water based markers now! I mostly do landscapes, florals and mandalas presently. I try to absorb every material that I get my hands into!

Staying in Holland I learnt about Royal Talens, those were easily available here as they are made here and I bought myself some Van Gogh watercolors. Those were the first colours that I ordered and I completely adore their pigmentation. I love that I started my watercolour journey with them! I gradually also learnt about brands like Prima, Ecoline, Winsor & Newton, Arteza and so many more. Choosing brushes and paper has been tough for me! When I started I didn’t know, papers are available in such abundance and each has their own speciality.

I learnt a lot about the quality of the papers, mixed media papers, 100gsm to 600 gsm papers! Oh my goodness, there is soo much available! I was always eager to learn more, and happy news came when Canson sent me their papers to try! I was thrilled! According to me, paper makes a huge difference. I mostly work on wet on wet, wet on dry, dry on wet techniques. A good quality paper holds my washes really well! I keep experimenting with colors and brands and presently my colour palette is a mixture of different brands and colors. When I choose my brushes, I am very particular about them, one of my most used brushes are Silver Brush, Da Vinci, Rosemary and Princeton.

I mostly look at pictures from Unsplash, Pinterest and Pixabay for inspirations. I spend a few hours on them looking for the picture I can recreate! There have been some pictures, which friends on Instagram send or pictures which were clicked by me while I would travel. Then the very first thing I do is swatch! I swatch the colors, I play with colors I have in hand. I put them on paper and look at how I can combine those colors.

Sometimes, I come up with such random colors, that they amaze me! I know I have a long long journey to go, but if it hadn’t been art that pushed me, I don’t think I would have ever felt better and recovered so quickly.

Kratika Agarwal Instagram Facebook Pinterest

GUEST ARTIST: "How Art Helped Me to Survive!" by Kratika Agarwal - #doodlewash #WorldWatercolorGroup #watercolor #watercolour Hello, my name is Kratika Agarwal and I am an artist, designer and illustrator. I am originally from India and currently based in the Netherlands.

#WorldWatercolorGroup #art #artist #digital #doodlewash #featured #inspiration #mandalas #painting #The Netherlands #watercolor #watercolour #World Watercolor Group

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