#i liked to put them in creative places

[amillionwaystobleed]

landlines are so pretty....they're kinda simple to draw but look so complex...like forbidden spaghetti..

#my art #art #artwork #pen art #pen drawing #pencil drawing #look for the hidden signature #i liked to put them in creative places

[miwtual]

im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website

#kai.txt #negativity tw #(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them) #we make gifs and nobody reblogs them #when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds #'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op' #reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something #that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place #we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does #to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting #and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces #go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets #that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases #or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place #but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces #they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either #they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters #im just so fucking tired of the disrespect #and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site #we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.

[p2ep]

starting to think about 90% percent of my problems in life are due to me having life ruining levels of executive dysfunction

#krestel speaks #youre telling me that its possible to think about something and do it...? #i had a revelation that thats literally all my problem is when i realized #dude i made a couple kandi bracelets and i was meaning to put them on my bag with my other ones #ive been putting this off for a week. it is fun for me to decorate my stuff #i like it #i WANT to do this it would take 30 seconds but i can never bring myself to get up get them and go to another room and attach them #and then by the time i will myself to do something its Not that and then i forget i was going to do that in the first place #shits fucked #as you can imagine this is why i struggle to complete creative projects ever #i am blighted #i am a wretched thing unloved by god etc

[rg11]

Can we see more of Jadekat and their 612 babies...do they have any names besides Jadekat jr jr jr

i dont think theyre that creative to come up with any other names for their kids

though the image is inaccurate! its actually 613 kids (due to the one karkats holding in the photo) that ones name is jadekat jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr jr

#jadekat #argt #though one of the kids name is tibet (as in the rose) #the joke is that one is the one that looks the most like karkat and white roses represent the cancer zodiac... and jade likes gardening.... #boom. Genius #i made that up on the spot. not the fact (IT IS TRUE!!!) .. the fanchild #ok if im being honest IM not creative enough to come up with any other names #their 612 ... 613.. kids are very hard to handle and karkat is usually the one dealing with them #imagine being a casual citizen on earth c and you see a troll with more than 612.. 613 kids just being dragged across-> #->with those small leashes parents put on their kids to keep them in place. but like it doesnt work for karkat in this situation because-> #its more than 100 kids. hes going to be flug across the street if those kids all got interested in one thing at the same time #jade and karkat arent the “girlboss and malewife” dynamic no its the girl who has baby fever and the male who is like a-> #overworked cigarette mom #but he wouldnt smoke #they have kids... if he was smoking jade would kill him for that ..... #ok but back on the names like the first 2 ones were given original names and by kid 27 they started the 'jadekat jr' shit #“why didnt they stop by kid ..5..” baby fever

[mewtwo24]

I just watched s2 episode 10 in the english dub and I have to say. Nothing could have prepared me for Howard's delivery of that final scene where Xie Lian gets worked up about the truth coming out.

The just...sincerely agonized delivery of "That my words were the empty ramblings of a sad child!!" shook me to the core. The absolute self-loathing in that line, the raw emotion. The way concealing the truth was done to spare Lang Qianqiu but also at its heart was about Xie Lian's unresolved feelings of humiliation and shame, the way [redacted] did everything in his power to make Xie Lian lose faith in himself and the possibility of good prevailing in the world.

The way TGCF keeps me up at night, man...

#tgcf #xie lian #lang qianqiu #the runner-up line that devastated me too was: 'it's the least of what I DESERVE!!!' #i dont think there are words to describe how that made hua cheng feel knowing all that he does (from his time as wu ming) #legitimately its on the spectrum of mantis shrimp im guessing bc i can't fathom trying to put it into words either #the way xie lian won't stop punishing himself for wishing for better--for wishing for peace and collaboration--even 800 years later #the way he continues to take responsibility for all the wrongs others commit--the way he deems himself a failure -> #for things he simply could not change or did not purposefully incite. the way he won't stop punishing himself when things go wrong #i honestly cant get over how acutely xl feels like the result of gifted child syndrome #having all of these grandiose expectations placed on him and doing his utmost to uphold them at any cost #doing everything he can to the point of self-destruction to do the right thing #only to end up hated in the end when he proved to have limits--even as a god #and discarded despite his efforts; ultimately deemed worthless for not measuring up to what were impossible/rigged standards from the get g #and like . the way up to this point they made the creative decision to make xie lian's emotional range fairly static #not that he's unfeeling but that he doesn't tend to raise his voice or express anything extreme (for good reason) #until this precise moment where it all comes flying apart with so many old scars torn open #absolutely fantastic im on the ground #honestly i feel like i forget how difficult a decision this had to be for hua cheng #i mean naturally he chose this because he wanted xie lian absolved #and ultimately xie lian really does need to stop the self-flagellation--he takes it too far #but watching him tremble with fear haunted by the echoes of what he almost became #fucking cHRIST

[tibli]

God I fucking love unusual/lesser-known instruments. Like yes bitch give me more glass armonicas, more wheel harps, more waterphones!!!!! I live for this shit!!!!

#music #instruments #im someone who really likes to know what instrument is making what sound in a song #so its led me to some really weird places #there are also a lot of other instruments that arent so much weird or unusual #as they are simply unknown to a western audience #the sho (a japanese wind instrument) is one of my favorites #its got such an ethereal sound but it took FOREVER to figure out which instrument it was #if youve consumed any sort of japanese media dealing w shrines or spirits #there is a 99% chance you already know what a sho sounds like #but i remember looking for it by process of elimination lmao #i went to like. the wiki page for japanese instruments and put them all into youtube until i found it lol #anyway my point is that human creativity never ceases to amaze me #we will literally make an instrument out of ANYTHING

[ducktollers]

who up feeling their spirit get crushed into dust by this ai shit 😂😂😂

#turns out my laptop isnt strong enough to run glaze so now i gotta wait at least a month for them to reply to my dm 😃 #not on them at all ik theyre swamped but im just like. why do we have to fucking do this #like ​putting poison on our lunch so coworkers stop stealing it. Why do the coworkers get away with stealing it in the first place #why is this how things have worked out. the amount of companies ive seen use ai generation for their ads (TABLET COMPANIES.)……… #im like. u used to have to pay an artist to do that. and instead of putting technicology to good use #where it can do things that are tedious/difficult/impossible for humans to do #we’ve decided to have the machines do the one job we thought a machine COULDNT steal. bc its abt human creativity and passion #why. bc it saves a bunch of rich fucks even more money and they dont give a fuck about the rest of us #this shit wouldnt even exist if human artists werent here first for it to copy its souless its nothing its cold and dead i fucking hate it #YEARS of work and experience and craft honing and nobody gives a fuck they just see a person they dont have to pay anymore #steals our lifes work without our permission without paying us without a care how is my spirit NOT supposed to feel crushed #i see an ai image and all i see is decades of hard work that was stolen like if u ripped the bones out of a living person #ik jts dramatic and i keep going on abt rhis but it just bothers me SO fucking much #every time i have to think abt it ​its like a thousand pound rock dropped into my stomach #x

[gaycousinlarry]

.

#i’m having very immature feelings abt the t swift concert happening in sweden as we speak lol #or rather - abt the adult fans #i’ve seen soooooo many of them post things like - #oh my god i’ve never seen so many girls in one place #oh my god these fans are so creative #oh my god i can’t believe the feeling in this room - the community #and all i can think is - that is literally just what being in a fandom is like #and these people have literally never been in fandom or know anything abt fandom culture so they’re like blown away #which is COOL ofc lol #i’m just having feelings like a 14 year old #when all the pretty popular girls start liking a band/fandom/culture that you’ve been part of forever #so i’m like genuinely happy for everyone there even if i’m not a fan myself #but #yeah #FANDOM GIRLS HAVE BEEN AROUND FOREVER AND BEEN JUST AS CREATIVE AND AMAZING AND COMMUNITY BUILDING AS WHAT YOU’REE #SEEING KNOW YOU WERE JUST NOT INTERESTED #lol ok lemme put my grumpy granma hat on now

[wonpiltual]

🏜

#🦈 #like. sometimes i could pull my fucking hair out thinking about how i just dont put any effort into finding a new job. #and its literally bc the places to look for like.. a creative job r buried deep and gatekept but THERE ARE places to look for them #im just too lazy to bc i cant actually cope with rejection and i luv sitting where im comfy #and anyway my options are stay where i am or sorta grasp some job i dont really want but itll give me an edge where i can start on smth rea #so its like............ why shouldnt i just stay here and 'wait for smth to come for me' as if a job like that is just gonna fall into myla #fuck my life!!!

[todayisafridaynight]

i feel like the hello kitty doesnt do xanax post whenever i check the minedai tag on ao3 what is the obsession with piss im in agony

why did you just read my mind jesus fucking christ get out of my head youre so right tho this is so accurate and i feel this every day of my life and i feel insane and like im the one perceiving them weirdly so thank you anon for letting me know that im normal

#snap chats #NEGATIVE RANT BELOW IM SORRYYYY IM A LIL BIT OF A HATER #NO BUT PLEAAASEE I WAS JUST CRYING ABOUT THIS #not literally ofc but we know what i mean #minedai is technically one of the top five most popular pairings in rgg but like... #To Me- maybe im just picky and a party pooper- its just.. never done.. right? #i dont want to say right- the point of fiction is to have fun and yk be creative #and theres no right or wrong way to enjoy a thing and express your love for A Thing #//turning o my megaphone// HOW FUCKING EVER #it just feels so seldom with minedai stuff that it actually feels... like them? #and thats not even mentioning the collection of really-specific kinks it attracts for whatever reason #it might just be because compared to more popular ships I Will Not Name So I Dont Put This Post In The Tag #theres a lot more fanworks right. but with minedai its like. it feels like twenty people in a basement #and 3/4 of the people in the basement just have this vibe with each other that you dont get at all #probably hotboxing the place and you dont smoke so youre just awkwardly siting there with your facemask #TRYING to follow along but youre ultimately just like Whats Going On. Im Scared. Mom Pick Me Up #im not going to act like im perfect either tho- with drawing mine and daigo so much sometimes i do botch their characters a bit #trying to get better at that im making it a thing where i have to reread their rggo stories frequently just so i dont forget #maybe ill make a list or somethign... <- normal people behavior #regardless. all of THAT aside. i wish i could read more minedai fics #but the thing is just most of the recent works are just not for me. and its not that those works are for SOMEONE #but for mates like you and me anon we just have to get in the kitchen. only problem is i suck at writing SOOO #UGH thats my monthly minedai rant i guess LMAO i always feel bad bout these rants #but i also cant act like i like the fandom's version of minedai.. or at least. ao3's version of minedai #twitter's version of minedai.. #bestie and i talk about it a lot we're just so confused how so many people can just. interpret these two SO differently yk what i mean #like again most of the works we see it never feels like mine and daigo it just feels like some AU versions of them #and again i dont reject interpretations of characters or HCs or whatnot again Its Fiction its not that deep #but it just feels so removed from the source yk. like when im looking for minedai i wanna see stuff that makes me go #'aw hell yeah that adds up. that lines up.' its why whenever i DO see stuff like that i go insane and bookmark it

[everyurlithinkofistoolong]

When ST fans interpret every antagonistic character to be a child molester for some reason

#tw sa #tw csa #puts up a sign that says i love fandom theorizing and creativity but what the fuck are some of yall one lol #*on #genuinely im not even saying the vibes arent there but do you genuinely think theyre going to take a character that represents #internalized shame and actually make them what they think that they are #like approaching it from an internalized homophobia standpoint which a lot of these takes do #yeah a lot of gay men who grew up in horribly environments will be brainwashed by that shit and be terrified of becoming a monster #but the whole point is that theyre WRONG about themselves and the ppl who convinced them of that in the 1st place ate the real 'monsters' #thats. thats literally the climax of s4 #genuinely not all parallels are going to be one to one and not all vibes are going to be literal #idk I just have a lot of thoughts abt this TBH and this isnt even 5% of it #not an attack either im sure the intentions are innocent enough i just. would rather wait until s5 bc i personally think theres a lot #more to it than that #henry creel #<- bc i only trust henry stans #alsl dont @ me im not here to devate lol #*also #*debate #fuck typos

[marklikely]

people saying they're not going to drop the mcu anymore because guardians3 was good its like a greek tragedy

#its me boy speaking to you inside your brain. leave the franchise we don't need them. #look into my eyes. marvel is never making a movie even remotely that good ever again. look at me. never. #we won! we can go out with a bang! you don't ever have to watch another one of these actually. #avpost #the guy who made these movies good isn't even staying with marvel like if anything you should be drawn into the dceu right? #you know the place that actually has the talent that made the guardians movies work?? #you shouldn't be giving props to the studio for a trilogy that was only good because they had way less involvement in it. #(obligatory yes other people worked on and made the movies good shoutout to the crew and some of the actors) #(but specifically out of the big creative lead roles gotg is good bc of the directing and writing so i put a lot of the credit on gunn)

[thelostboys87]

the 'i want to do my masters in writing so i can teach writing at university level' to 'i'm starting to believe creative writing should not be a degree that you can get at all' pipeline

#not in a shaming individuals who have or plan to get writing degrees way. i mean im still considering it #like from an academisation of writing pov.... #i dont think a writing degree should have the weight that it does with the barriers it creates #the thing is my dream job/state of existence is things that would only be possible to keep me afloat #if i did writing postgrad and go the right connections at the right time #but i dont like anything that turns writing into an institution and creates barriers for access #i dont think writers esp vulnerable writers should be taught that to get certain levels of access they need #to put themselves through a system that is so sexist misogynistic homophobic transphobic racist ableist bigoted etc #and that's if they can even GET in the programs in the first place #i got offers for my dream MA two years in a row and the only thing that stopped me was costs #and now if i apply again i wont be able to use my writing teachers as references because they have to have taught me in the last two years #SO WHO TF DO I USE!!!! #i think there needs to be more cultivation in spaces that study and share writing theory and create workshop and connections without #the academic institution of it all #idk im starting to be like what will a writing MFA give me except connections and access #also i was wondering why im slower at writing short fiction than i was last year BITCH!! YOU WERE IN A CREATIVE WRITING CLASS #you literally HAD to write stories so you might as well submit them! #the only reason i have a pushcart nom and a writing grant is bc of the stories i had to write for that class

[somedaytakethetime]

I've had all these snippets of images in my head and I don't know what to do with them.. so I figured I could turn it into some type of writing. There's no discerning details that give any certain person away, so if you read it, in can be about just about anyone you fancy and feel would fit this. Of course, you know who I am picturing but.. that's details 😶 Warning: NO KIDS! DON'T MAKE ME PUT YOU BABIES ON THE NAUGHTY STEP! This isn't even like.. proper dirty or anything, but there's heavy implications and small touches of intimacy and elicit activities, some words that may be heavier than others if you know what I mean.., and I don't want the children to think dirty thoughts 😤 Word count: 5 283 words to be exact, I ramble..

Your hand rises and falls slowly with the pattern of his breathing. It lays on his naked chest, you lay on his naked body, his arms wrapped around you and rubbing your back softly. You watch the shadows on the rug, the same one you're both laying on, cast by the sun as it slowly sets in the window behind your heads. As you try to catch your breath and feel him do the same, you're still wondering how you ended up here.

His eyes are beautiful. That's the first thing you notice as he smiles politely at you and cordially shakes your hand when you're introduced. He repeats the name your superior just said to you, his voices is lower and more sensual than you expected and a small shiver runs through you, you pray you won't stutter and repeat your name back at him. He pulls back and you feel his hand still grasping yours, even as you're introduced to the rest of the bunch. Even as you try to stand as straight as possible beside your new employer, you still feel his hand in yours, his eyes on you, as they'd been just a few minutes ago. You never expected to be here, hired to work at this club, you didn't expect you'd be so close to them either, you thought you would have some small position and do meaningless little tasks. You're nervous, your heart skips beats at times, you're afraid to mess this up, to end up looking foolish in front of so many people, and... you're afraid of the way you can still feel his hand on yours.. his eyes burning into you from across the way.

You should probably get up and leave. Or at least get up and lay on the couch, the rug is soft and warm but it's still a little.. awkward to be laying naked, pressed to him, on his rug like this. His eyes are closed and you wonder if he fell asleep, you try to move away and you find out that he hasn't. His arms tighten around you immediately and he opens his eyes slowly, his voice sounds.. god, his voice, the things he says.. he's so attractive but the way he sounds and speaks, you feel shivers thinking about the things he's said to you before.. even tonight.. you refocus on his voice as he says, soft and low, in that effortless sensual tone that's natural to him, "Where do you think you're going?", a smirk lifts the corners of his lips softly and you hide your face against his chest, suddenly warm all over again and needing.. so much all at once.. you muffle into his skin "I thought I'd get on the couch.." and he nods "Not comfortable here? I should have probably taken you to bed.. I do have one, and it's incredibly comfortable.." he lowers his voice and a shiver runs down your spine again, he's trying to get a rise out of you and he doesn't need to. Everything about him turns you on, you've never been so attracted to anyone before. You part your lips to speak but he doesn't give you the chance. He lifts himself up, takes you with him, somehow through some testosterone-induced display of strength he gets you both up from the floor, carrying you in his arms, without even wobbling once. He looks down at you and his smirk looks devious now, "Shall I show you my bed then?"

Working here isn't as difficult as you'd expected it would be. But it's also not as easy as you'd expected either. You have good days, and bad days. The problem is that the bad days are more frequent. Through no fault of your own, that's just the way things are here. Too many egos, too much testosterone, too many strong personalities. It all leads to arguments, to misunderstandings, to being yelled at and lashed out towards. You're often apologised to, after they've calmed down, asked for forgiveness and told that you've done nothing wrong, they're just all under a lot of pressure and stress. And.. you'd let that slip.. if it wasn't happening constantly, that is. Because none of them know how to control their shitty attitudes and it grates on your nerves. You keep your head down, stay silent, this is a well paying job and you don't want to lose it. Especially not over these assholes and their arrogance. Your superior is nice, that's all that matters because he's the one that you need to spend the most time with, the rest of them can go to hell. The rest of them… except… him. He's kind to you. Incredibly kind even. Has gotten into arguments with others over you. Over the way he watched them talk to you, over the things they've said to you. He doesn't have to get into trouble because of you, you've told him every time, and he just smirks, defiant, like he was made to fight and contradict, "And what? Pass up the opportunity to remind them of their place?" and you start to realise that this man has far more layers than you know of. He's.. hard to figure out. He's quiet, rarely ever speaks unless spoken to, he's also clearly a loner. He'll interact with his teammates when needed, praise them and laugh with them when he's in the thick of training, but outside of that he retreats back into himself. Stands off to the side. Observing everyone. Silently judging them. Silently judging you too..

His bed is indeed comfortable, just as he said it was. The sheets are soft, the pillows smell like him. You love the way he smells, it's so.. rough? woodsy?.. it's manly. You're don't care for logistics that small, but the only way to describe his scent, and even the underlying feeling he gives off, is that. Manly. He has tenderness too, that he's displaying right now as he softly traces your naked body like you're porcelain, placing gentle kisses everywhere, treating you like something fragile and beautiful to be treasured, driving you to the brink of madness with his slow motions. But there's a biting edge to him. You always know that this man, who appears so calm and controlled, will lose his mind in roughly .5 seconds and fight someone if his anger gets the best of him. And you'd be lying if you said that you don't find it attractive. How controlled he is. A stronger personality simmering under the surface of all that control and calmness. Which is too calm at times.. like right now. He's kissed a path up and down your thighs five times and you're about to pull all that glorious hair out of his head if he doesn't do something more than tease you.. "Will you be there all night? Didn't you promise to show me something? Something along the lines of what talents that tongue has that go beyond defying people?". his hands look massive as they snake around your thighs, he pulls you down closer to him suddenly and a squeak flies out of you, the devious smirk, ever so present on those perfect lips whenever he's around you, is back "I like it when you're sassy, baby.. it makes it even better when you start moaning incoherently for me."

A sob slips out of your lips and you try harder to keep it quiet. This is the final drop. You're tired of being yelled at by assholes, sure, but this is worse. You weren't hired to be harassed, if these bastards don't know how to behave that's their problem. You feel anger, a strong and heavy feeling in your chest pooling like black liquid, and you ball up your firsts. You slam them against the wall behind you and you want to scream. You want to go back and slap him, but you're not allowed, even if he was disgusting. The images keep replaying in your head, you're trying to do your job and gather their information to update their data, keeping quiet, head down as usual, asking personal questions in the most formal and detached manner that you can and that oaf.. the big one. You never liked that one from the time you were introduced. He smiled at you like such a sleaze.. you've been revolted by his presence ever since and you avoid him like the plague that he is. But.. you had to do your job. You had to ask questions because of these stupid sheets. Personal, medical, technical, all for the database of their information to be updated.. and he had to try and be funny… he had to try and flirt again, no matter how hard you ignore him he does it again. Asking you personal questions that you ignored, commented on your body and how it looked in the loose, long dress you're wearing.. and… he had to start commenting on his body. On his size to be exact. And his capacities as a man. When he cornered you against the table, put that sleazy, disgusting paw on your waist and said so casually "I could show you.. I bet you'd sound really hot screaming my name while I fuck you.." you just lost your composure. You pushed him roughly, you called him disgusting, you told him firmly "I would rather die without sex again than to have sex with you. You're revolting." and you walked out, found the first bathroom you could, and here you are. On the floor. Trying not to disturb anyone as you sob against the corner. You're not sad, you're angry. Angry that you can't retaliate more. Angry that if you were to tell anyone they would just tell you that the guys here are "being playful, you're a pretty girl, pay them no mind. They'll tire of it, I promise." as they've told you before. You're boiling with anger. You're tired of being disrespected. You make a snarled sound as you get up and walk to the sinks. Wash your tears and try to gather your composure. You look like you've been crying, there's nothing to be done about it. You take a deep breath and turn around. He's standing there. Leaning against the wall, right by the door. You didn't hear him come in. He has his arms crossed over his chest, and he looks pissed. "I heard some things that I didn't want to believe.." he's speaking through gritted teeth, you look at him as he pushes away from the wall, walks towards you, looms, "Did he tell you all that shit?" you wonder if you could lie, say that you were just being sensitive and he didn't mean any of that crap, you know what will happen if you confess what just happened to you. You know he will fight the oaf. You can see the fire in his eyes, those beautiful eyes, daring you to lie to him and pretend he can't see the truth. You just exhale and nod slowly, can't look him in the eyes as his anger bubbles over and the loud smack of his fist slams against the countertop. "That motherfucker! Did he hurt you?? He said you were like marshmallow in his hands, did.he.hurt.you?" and your voice sounds angry "No, he didn't! But he had no right to touch me! I don't want random men caging me against desks and groping my waist like I'm just a piece of meat! Tell that bastard that I wasn't anything other than disgusted by him!" and… he was made to fight and defy people. There's the confirmation. The smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. The fire raging in his eyes. The way he says, so casually, "Oh, sweetheart, I'm going to do more than tell him, don't worry." as he turns his back on you and walks out..

He is unfairly good at that. Unfairly good at everything he does really. He can control his body with just as clinical precision as he can control his temper, and it's unfair. You can feel his smirk against the most sensitive part of you, can feel the delight he takes in how easily and quickly you fall apart for him. Because of him. He's relentless, renders you speechless, a mess of whines and moans and pleas, a mess of neediness and aching and pent up frustration needing to be released. He does it on purpose. Slows down and teases you every time you feel your spine start to tingle and sparks appear in your closed eyes. You curse out his name, "Please! What do I need to do for you to stop that and just let me come, god, will you please do something more!?" say frustrated and he has the audacity to laugh. Right against you. Shivers run down your spine and you moan, it rings inside you and it makes you feverish and needy all over again. Your voice gets softer, you're suddenly pliant in his hands again, mewling and begging. He takes pity on you, holds you tighter, presses you down into the mattress and stops teasing you. Watches you the whole time, eyes fixated on your body and how you arch up for him. Because of him. He loves watching you fall apart like this. He's addicted to how you react to him. He's addicted to you. It's been a long time coming, he's still unsure how he managed to get you here tonight, but he's never been more thankful to whatever Gods are out there, watching over him, and helping him along this path. He doesn't falter until you're pushing at his head, lifts up and smirks at you as you open your eyes slowly, still barely able to focus on him, and he places a kiss right where he just made a mess of and laughs at your curses and shivers. He gets up from his place, crawls over your body, cages you against his bed, "So… how was that?". He feels giddy right now, feels like a teenager again, there's something about making a beautiful girl giving into him like that.. but beyond that.. there's something about having you here right now. In his house. On his bed. Under him. Pliant and willing, eager even, to be with him. He's wanted it for a long time, even if you likely have no idea of it, but that's beside the point now. There's other matters to attend to while you're so willing under him. He nuzzles your neck, kisses you slowly, then whispers in your ear "How do you feel about testing out the quality of my mattress?", and he knows it's incredibly cheesy but he's feeling light hearted and happy tonight, and you react by whining and melting further so.. he figures you don't mind it either.

He would say you've been building a budding friendship. Even if he's pretty sure you have no idea of it. Because he's a little.. guarded, if you will. He doesn't trust easily, he doesn't befriend people easily either. He likes his space, his peace, his own ways. He prefers to stand back, watch others, judge and gauge what they're all about. Studies people and tries to gather information before he can make a decision on them, he tries to be impartial, tries to give everyone a fair chance but.. he's also himself. Reserved and slightly stubborn in his ways. He knows what he wants and he knows how to get it, he's never had trouble with his confidence or his own self assuredness. He doesn't feel the need to justify himself to anyone or be a person pleaser. He also doesn't feel the need to make friends at work, not in a deep sense. He's polite to everyone, he'll be playful when there's room for that, and he'll go along with some things from time to time. But he's not here to be best friends with anyone, he's here to work. And he does his job well. So well apparently, that it's created some friction with some others around. So, try as he might to be professional, he doesn't like some of these guys because they don't like him and don't bother hiding it either. But, that said, he does like you. You're quiet too, just as guarded as he is, and you always keep your head down too. He could see from the very beginning that you're here to do your job and get on with it, and he respects that. He doesn't like stereotypes but he's aware that some girls try to get jobs at places like this for reasons that have nothing to do with the job. He doesn't judge that, everyone is after whatever life they want in the end, but he doesn't particularly care for those girls either. Being loved for the potential of what he could give to others in terms of lifestyle isn't something he wants, he just wants to be loved for himself. It's hard to get people to see him, who he is, without all the glitter and the flashes of the lifestyle. Without the fame aspect and the money. He's tried many times before, had loose strings here and there, and they all fell flat. He didn't feel a connection like he needed to, they weren't bad girls, they were funny and kind, but they had expectations from him. They created an image of him in their heads and that's what they were in love with. Not him. Not the simple man that has simple hobbies. The man that would rather cook dinner himself, instead of go out to some fancy restaurant that he'd have to put a suit on for. He's never been able to share himself, his true self, with anyone before without them thinking he was joking. Girls don't often believe how much of a nerd he is, how boring he can actually be, how unexciting he wants his life to be. Because he looks a certain way. And he has a certain reputation too. All of them do, so he understands it's hard to accept that, in the end, he's just a regular man. But he is. And you believe him. He's unsure how and why he felt such a pull to you when he first shook your hand. There was something. Probably in the softness of your eyes, the clear nervousness that clouded your whole being, the way you tried to stand and look so tall and professional but he could see your hands shaking the whole time, could see your cheeks flush pink with shyness whenever someone talked to you. He grew attached to you the more you spend time together. He sought you out, struck up conversations, tried to get to know you. To get you to be comfortable with him. And little by little you were. You built a friendship, that he thinks you're unaware of, and he cherished that. Cherishes the fact that you only laugh with him, only tease him, only feel comfortable around him. He knows that last bit isn't very healthy but.. he feels vindicated, he's selfish and he doesn't care. He likes you, really likes you, and he likes that you like him back. He also.. feels possessive of you.. which is why… he always gets into so much trouble for you..

He's relentless. And you're going to faint. It's just too much. Your whole body is on fire, your senses are all overloaded, you can't even see straight and your breathing is barely enough to fill your lungs with oxygen. But he's relentless, and you are too because even as your head feels fainter and fainter, you want more and more. You need more and more. You need it all. You need him. He feels amazing, he's sturdy and warm over you, he knows just what to do to make you fall apart at the seams, knows exactly how to move to make your whole body curl around him, knows just what to say to have you biting at his shoulder and clawing your nails down his back. He's amazing, he's both gentle and rough, pushes you back and reels you in, keeps you on edge for what feels like hours and drives you insane. When he allows you to fall, it feels so strong, it's so potent, that you all but faint. Barely hanging on to your senses, clinging to him, possibly crying from how good it all feels, you aren't really sure. Your body is a mess of emotions and he kisses you so slowly and tenderly as he falls with you too. Presses his forehead to yours as you both pull back with a need to breathe, keeps you so close and tight to him, melts against you too and wants to never let you go. You're shaking as you come down, you wouldn't be able to move right now from how limp he's rendered you, but also from how constantly you shake. Luckily you don't have to. He pulls away from you slightly, carefully rolls you both sideways and holds you tightly in his arms. One hand cradling your head and petting your hair, the other rubbing soothing circles on your back. He presses tender kisses to your forehead, whispers to you tender words of reassurance that you're okay and he's right there, holding you and keeping you grounded to this earth so you won't float away. You start to calm down, realise that you did cry because you have tears drying on your cheeks and you're almost scared of the power this man has over you. He makes you feel in a way you've never felt before. He pulls at your heart in such a strong way.. you're scared of that feeling. Because you don't know how he feels about you. He's so hard to read, even as he gently tells you that he's not going to leave and that he's right there for you, that he'll take care of you. It's hard to know if he means now, or… you melt against his chest, sigh heavily, remember what happened earlier today. He's suspended for a few days now. After that show, of course he would be, but you didn't mean for it to happen. You've apologised, chastised him, but it didn't make a difference because all he did was laugh.

You're back with your papers at the medical office right where you left them. They let you use this place today for all the crap that you needed to deal with, but someone clearly filled in for you while you were gone. The papers now have a handwriting that you can barely read. 'Does no one teach these men to write properly!?', you think exasperated. It's not the first time that one of your coworkers hands you notes that are barely legible. You exhale angrily, trying to push aside all that's happened today and just focus on getting to the end of your workday. You're trying to decipher what a certain hieroglyph says when you hear a commotion outside. There's a giant windowed door beside you, that leads to the training grounds, and you approach it. A mass of bodies piled in a circle is on the field, there's shouting. Something is happening. You don't think twice, you open the door and rush out. As you get closer you realise what's happening. He's hitting the oaf. They're tangled on the ground, he's overpowered that oaf, and he's punching him. Everyone else all around them is trying to get them to stop, a few have entangled themselves too and you're not sure why. Maybe men just love any excuse to fight each other and they'll break into silly antics as soon as someone else does. One of the older coaches shouts, the head coach is running towards all of you, some of the older players are trying to keep everyone in check and trying to dodge punches too. 'This is a mess..' you think to yourself. You regret telling him, you should have lied. But, god, you can't pretend that you're not pleased seeing him punch that disgusting oaf.. seeing him insult him and argue with him.. trying to defend you and make him pay for how he acted towards you earlier.. you feel so.. vindicated. Violence isn't the answer, you know it, but sometimes? It's pleasing to see someone do what you would like to do. You would be fired if you retaliated his actions from earlier, but they won't be fired. They're the team.. the club needs the team. They're men, they're always excused for their actions with no more than a slap on the wrist. And a slap on the wrist they get. When the head coach has them all under control he loses his temper and yells at everyone. Scolds them like little boys and a few of them have the decency to look ashamed. When it's all said and done, your saviour and the oaf are suspended for a few days, one for fighting and the other for his lack of professional conduct towards female staff. Rich that it took a fight to break out with the team for them to take the disrespect seriously but.. you'll take it. Some of the others are suspended for a day and the rest are severely scolded just because they were in the vicinity. The head coach turns to you suddenly, "As for you. I would like to apologise for the treatment you've been receiving. I'll speak to the management and we'll see what should be done. But next time? Tell me what happened, not one of my players." and the tone of his voice makes you whisper 'asshole' as he walks away after dismissing everyone. He approaches you, his knuckles scrapped and bloody, his lip is bloody too and he seems to have a bruise blooming under his right eye. You want to kiss him suddenly. He smirks at you, like the devil himself, and says "You're lucky you're this cute, otherwise he would have suspended you too." and winks as he walks past you. You scoff at the suggestion and stomp after him. Until you realise what he said. He thinks you're cute. He's teasing you. Again. You instead walk back to your borrowed office and gather your things, you were dismissed too, and it is the end of the week anyway so.. you cross paths with him as you're both walking out. You're looking at your watch to check the time, maybe there's a bus you can catch now. Or you could walk back, it's not so far off and you did it this morning. But as a hand lands on the small of your back, and a low voice says behind you, "Do you need a ride home?" suddenly.. your plans for the night have already changed..

He's looking at you seriously when your eyes focus on him again. "Is everything okay?" and you nod confused, "Of course. Why wouldn't it be?". He caresses your cheek softly and looks puzzle "I feel like I lost you for a moment there, your gaze was far away.." you settle against him, trace the bruises and cuts on his knuckles, "I was just thinking about what you did today. You got into trouble because of me, and you didn't have to." he pulls you tighter, "Someone had to. Besides.." he lifts your chin up and kisses you again, a deep kiss that takes your breath away and makes your heart pound against your ribs, "I don't like the way he talks to you. Or looks at you. Actually I don't like him in general, but I especially don't like him around you.". He looks like a contrived little boy and you have the urge to laugh and kiss him, you tease him softly, "Jealous? Don't tell me you feel a little territorial already.." and.. he feels his heart do something. Is it skipping beats? Is it sinking? Whatever it's doing, he doesn't like it. He doesn't like the casual feeling he's getting. He's not making himself clear. Of course he isn't. He brought you to his house instead of yours, allowed you to care for his wounds which led to him finally losing his control and kissing you. That kiss led to you losing your clothes and ending up on his rug panting for air. So far, he has done nothing that says 'I want you'. All he's done is say 'I'm horny'. And he doesn't like it. He doesn't like that you might just want casual sex from him, he'd give it to you, oh, he so would. He's a fool for you, he'll do anything you ask, but.. he wants you. All of you. He wants more than just occasional sex. There's a need to make you his in his chest, something he's been trying to control, but he can't hold it back anymore.. he says, serious, "As a matter of fact, yes. Yes, I am. I'm territorial over you. Because I don't like to share. Never did. I was an incredibly selfish boy and I'm not ashamed to say I'm an incredibly selfish man too. I see things I want and they're mine on sight, so I don't take kindly to others forcefully trying to share them." and… your breath gets caught in your throat. Feminism has exited the chat, all of your foremothers are watching over your shoulder with curious eyes right now. You've always been self assured, strong in your convictions, you've never allowed a man to think he owns you or even had the chance to think such thoughts. But.. you're a fool for this man. You would bark if he asked you to, you don't care. He brings something out in you that turns feral. You want him so badly that you'd crawl if he asked. You whisper his name, unsure of what to say, you don't know if he means.. "I like you. In fact, I more than like you. I want you in my life. I've wanted it for a while now and it drove me crazy to think of that fucker touching you. I've been trying to find a way, to get an excuse, to bring you to me. I don't know how to do this the right way, there is no right way, I'm confused because.. I have never felt like this. You throw me off balance, I don't know how to act around you. I've been flirting with you for months now and you're oblivious to me. So, at first I assumed that you didn't want me, and I respected that. Kept my actions the same because I didn't want you to see that I was hurt but.. after what just happened today.. I think you want me. Or maybe you just think I'm really good in bed, I guess that's an option too and I'll respect if you don't want me. But I want you. A lot. What I'm trying to say here is: I think I'm falling for you and I would like you to give us the chance to see where this goes. And we can do this really simply: will you stay the night?" you look into his eyes, his eyes are beautiful, more so after he's just confessed his feelings. You feel the same and you suddenly see flashes of where your lives could go if you accept his offer. You see them reflected in his beautiful eyes. A soft smile appears on your lips as you say "Of course I will."

#AS ALWAYS PLEASE REMEMBER THAT I'M DYSLEXIC #I TRIED TO READ THIS MANY TIMES OVER TO MAKE SURE I CAUGHT ALL MY MISTAKES BUT I CAN'T HELP BEING DYSLEXIC #I THINK OF ONE WORD AND WRITE ANOTHER IT JUST HAPPENS A LOT #anyway.. this happened.. #i can't explain it but i've been really consumed by snippets of images the most minor things ever #a lot of them feature into this like the emphasis on the eyes and the general feeling of a pull towards someone #it's hard to make an entire bit of writing about minor things but.. i did it anyway #there's millions of ideas tumbling in my head constantly #things as minor as the sun setting and playing up shadows and the wind softly dishevelling hair and these images give me certain feelings #feelings that i want to attach to certain ideas about certain people.. a little certain someone.. #but i want to make them like.. tasteful you know? plus i want to make it so it can be also.. sort of not about anyone too? #do you get what i mean? like if you read this i want this to feel about *your* person #this is more guided in the setting and the whole placing and i had to create certain chains of events #but i still hope that maybe it'll fit however your person is #THAT'S ENOUGH RAMBLING ENJOY THE BILLION OF WORDS WRITING #adventures in a clown's dreams #creative writing with Sunny #football imagine #football one shot #?? should i put those in there?? i guess they apply

[kuroakikitsune]

Creates an artwork that took ages but I'm really proud of it. Its a subject that a lot of my friends and followers like. Only a few people like it. Most of my friends have seen it and, nothing... I know I did a good job and it's pretty but this makes me feel like my art isn't good enough. It hurts more that my friends and mutals aren't liking it, more than the numbers.

#tumbr has become a place where i can vent/say my thoughts i guess #im already insecure aboyt my art and even more so after a so called friend in a mad rage suggested that my art is shit #my friends would almost always like my art to support me and if they really liked it they would comment and share it. #now im lucky if they even like it #ironically my art has improved and im drawing people they like #im never with the algorithms and i have so little follower's but it feels like a lot of them are inactive or bots because most dont like my #art so why do they even follow me? #all i post is my art and i dont do follow for follow. i dont understand. i hoped one day to sell prints and other creations but no one wants #to follow me and those that do will never buy my art #i put so much effort into my creations and sometimes it feels like its for nothing #i see artists on a lower skill (for lack of a better term) and they have thousands of follwers. i barely made it to 200 and i know a huge #following isnt everything but it really puts any dreams of having a little art shop or just selling prints #everything ive wanted to do with my life creatively seems to need a loyal fanbase and i dont have that #i feel lost confused and alone #i dont know if people just dont like my art or if the algorithm is working against me #so thats fun..

[selfundiagnosed]

&&the mental gymnastics they do to sleep each night without a guilty conscience so they can convince themselves their disgusting behavior is justified toward you🤥

#weird but creative lies #oddly specific enough to be believable lies #the reality of your actions & lack thereof are SO painful youd rather convince yourself of a lie to make you feel better #i am DYING to know what other lies you tell your loved ones about me haha #but the fact that someone who trusted your word snitched on you and told me your weird idea of smearing my name thru the mud #and with what you lied about its clear it comes from a place of deep insecurity of what you know im telling other people you did to ne #idk the parallels between me talking abt my lived experience with you as a close friend vs what you told your family im saying about THEM? #just own up to your wicked good ability to displace blame and make me look like a crazy person #oh youre telling everyone i put you in danger?! #i need to put you in more danger and make you look like your word is paper thin! #see theyre calling random people theyve never met nazis!! obviously i did nothing wrong not telling you i brought one to your house #you are so sick ive been wrestling for over a year since i found out #for you to take how uncomfortable that made me feel knowing you had a chance to tell me and didnt #and over a year later you still wont see why it hurt #but I understood why you didnt tell me so i trief to ask for spacr to heal our relationship and you snaked around that boundary #and tried to manipulate the people AROUND ME into forgiving you before i was ready #everyone does things to other humans that fuck them up. it does not reflect you. what reflects you as a person is how you handle it #and youre just burying your head in the sand acting like youre above it