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kidmachinate · 1 year

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Unrealistic Expectations

I can’t help but wonder about something while joining the masses in doing mindless activities. Said activities done sometimes simply out of habit, constantly scrolling news feeds, social media, or YouTube. What I wonder many times while doing this is how we’ve become quite entitled in many aspects. While I can point to many different examples, this became extremely clear these last two weekends when I played the Diablo IV beta. Plus, gaming is a big theme on this blog of sorts, so I’ll stick to that. This opinion is gonna get a be spicy, if you will.

The amount of complaints for a game that is in Beta, not even a demo, but in beta, truly astounded me. Should this mean we don’t point out issues? Absolutely not. However, claiming you have been ripped off when getting access to a beta period because it “didn’t work right” is simply not valid. You got exactly what you paid for. Access to a beta. You’d think people in the glorious “PC Master Race” would understand what a beta even is and not say these things, but here we are. Now I have to be clear and even in doing so, someone will get mad. I think the same crap mentality goes into why one would be mad for sharing a difference in opinion. Activision-Blizzard is a company rotten at the core. They deserve much of the hate they get. Without getting into all the toxicity in the workplace and keeping it focused on the topic of gaming, they released Diablo: Immortal. One of the absolute worst games put out under the disguise of an awesome IP, just to nickel and dime people when it comes to the true replay value of a Diablo title. The end-game. The nonsense behind microtransactions, battle passes, and the like are issues gamers are very well aware of. Diablo IV is supposed to be the opposite along with a “cometic only” battle pass. I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. I realize this is a risky move. One I’ve already dumped my money into. I’m not going to deny myself the enjoyment of a game I know I’m not going to avoid forever if at all because of nonsense they did that I have no control over. I’m sure it is the same stance people are doing with Hogwarts Legacy. I held my tongue on this because there is no point. We want to enjoy what we want to enjoy. Things aren’t as black and white as we sometimes like to think. Every choice to purchase or not purchase should be based on our own merits and this will also mean that some things we don’t purchase, due to similar reasons. If someone doesn’t buy D4 due to their shit treatment of workers, that would be legitimate. If someone doesn’t purchase Hogwarts due to the dismissal of trans rights seen in the game, I get that too. I’ll see many playing both games regardless and we need to let people enjoy things, so I shut the hell up.

Having gotten a bit sidetracked here, back to the main point. Why do many of us swear we are game developers or experts when we aren’t? Because we aren’t, what some may be doing is consuming facts from experts and sometimes expressing opinions solely based on that, without personal experience. Something that at least should be shared, if you’re going to present that kind of take, instead of presenting yourself like an authority figure on the matter. It’s crazy. Whether is it a game, TV show, whatever, the biggest issue are the keyboard warriors and trolls throughout. Maybe to some this is entertainment…but it actually holds no value and doesn’t lead to any productive discussion. I ignore these takes or choose not to engage, but I see them. They exist. I just find myself continuously shaking my head as a result. Getting the nonsense out of the way, my secondary thinking is even while I likely enjoy Diablo IV or really whatever else, am I making the most of my time?

Knowing gaming is a huge hobby of mine, I’m trying to make sure I do so with intent. Not just playing whatever is new and/or on sale. As I say this, I’m still a bit guilty of the latter point. Thanks Steam. Buying a Steam Deck that I love (free from a company bonus, btw) that I love doesn’t exactly help the matter. Where do I truly want my money spent? Am I doing it for the right reasons? Can I park my money in certain investments and put it to good use? You can do both but intent matters here. You’ve gotta have balance. If we all had a bit more of this, we wouldn’t be so quick I think to jump down someone’s throat for something that they don’t agree with. Gaming is turning into topics I like to avoid due to the amount of people with one way or no way mentalities. Said three topics are religion, politics, and sports. While people who can discuss these in a meaningful way exists, misery loves company and there are many looking for a fight. I’m just not interested in this anymore as it is no different than wasting time with whatever other time-consuming thing that is probably bad. If I do some of these very things in moderation and with an open mind, it becomes more fulfilling as well as staying true to myself.

By the time this goes live, I will have already purchased or am close to purchasing a Paperwhite. Why? I want to combine two things that are the core of my being outside of work. Gaming and finances. While a Paperwhite will not allow for gaming in the traditional sense, gaming has rich lore in book formats. Instead of worrying about potential challenge in a game, I can imagine it as presented instead. Sometimes I do this through YouTube by listening but then I just end up doing it too long. I want to avoid that where possible. I also want to read more on finances to enrich my life. I can do both in one place with the paperwhite. I am choosing the Paperwhite instead of a Kindle because I won’t be able to install apps that do the same things as my phone can already do. I’d be tempted to pick up the phone to check whatever it may be and consume accordingly. This is something I can take on the go. It would be more educational however, because I also have a Steam Deck and Nintendo Switch. If I actually want to play something, I can have that on the go as well. A theme I am embracing more and more by the day. A backpack with items of value to keep on the go, carry stuff for work, have a notepad to write down the important stuff. All this is like rediscovering myself. Seeing things in a new light. Maybe in clearing out the clutter, it leads to new habit and more meaningful connections with people I find myself talking to most often.

To conclude yet another post a bit scatterbrained but with a purpose, I simply say to anyone with eyes on this, take a moment for yourself. We seek hits of dopamine in several aspects of our lives. Are we managing this, or it is managing us? To circle back to Diablo IV, it is certainly the latter for people with nothing better to do than complain about a test period in a video game. Mindset is key for both what you consume as well as how you choose to treat yourself when having free time.

#diablo iv #unrealistic #gaming #activision #blizzard #progression #closed beta #open beta

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muttyum-archived · 2 years

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cw for discussion of fetishes of pedophilia, incest, etc etc. i wont go in depth but these topics are brought up. all for RACK, for what its worth

nuance. it needs nuance. it should not be a subject completely shunned but to wholly accept it, to let it perpetuate and be freely accessible is to invite harm amongst others. when you make a post describing how callouts and that kind of social rejection is a brute force tool at the best of times, you are correct, but you have to also recognize that openly sharing and creating content that can be used to harm others is something that you probably shouldnt do.

this post is about the loli shit infesting this website. its about the blogs dedicated to creating and spreading incest content, bestiality, whatever other "taboo" fetish, you name it. i could not care less what someone indulges themself to in private, but tumblr blogs, twitter accounts, things posted openly on the internet? thats not private. especially when these posts have hundreds, if not thousands of notes. thats definitely not private.

im saying this as someone who was harmed by this kind of thing, who opened myself up much earlier than i should have to adults who should have known better. im saying this as someone who regularly recedes into mindsets that arent entirely healthy. im saying this as someone who, if not for a massive dose of luck, would have been permanently labeled a sex predator for things i was pressured into doing as a 15 year old.

whatever you do in private, sure, fine, whatever, i dont care. i have my own skeletons. im sure we might even have "common interests" if you could call it that. but dont reblog, spread, share, or god forbid create and publicly post the same kind of content that was used as leverage against me all those years ago. in a perfect world, this kind of stuff would just not be posted. but its not a perfect world, and a lot of this stuff is posted regardless, and i know the kinds of people who post this kind of stuff dont do it with respect or with any kind of empathy. ive seen it, and ive felt it.

if you consume this kind of stuff, again, i have to stress - Whatever. i dont care. i know people cope with trauma in all sorts of different ways and im not about to armchair my way into your brain. ive stopped caring about call outs. i think theyre shitty and generally cause more harm than good. i still have people i have personal gripes with. counting myself lucky i never dmed <x> mutual who happened to get big and then got found out for her own skeletons. regretting i met this and that person. whatever.

and before you respond to this with "why dont you focus on the REAL predators who are hurting REAL children" i want you to understand that 1) i can push for greater change and also work towards smaller scale change and 2) do you litter and toss cigs and empty cans out on the highway just because the largest amount of ecological destruction is done by big companies?

calling 4lung a "martyr" and putting that label on yourself for circulating and spreading the kind of content i was talking about above isnt a good thing btw. just in my opinion. i have no clue what shes up to now and i really dont care, but i hope its better than the stuff ive been recounting

#text #ill probably wind up deleting this soon tbh #ive been mulling over posting it in the first place

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harrystylescherry · 2 years

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whyyyyy whats the tea

and with estee specifically

Esteelaundry is an instagram account that basically outs the beauty industry—and the company i work for has its own highlight🙃

Everyone is literally miserable lol. There are few people who ive met from brands who seen genuinely content where they are (supergoop, sundayriley and some others) and like at my company specifically, they love to say “its just beauty were not curing cancer” and then demand u work late at night and on the weekends bc a new serum is launching and its all hands on deck (i worked for a retailer so new stuff launches every single day) and its ridiculous. Like, irs make up and skin care—in the grand scheme, irs not a big deal at all. And thats kind of how i knew i wasnt a right fit for this industry. I was never in a full blown panic like everyone else was over the tiniest things. Like i feel like to work in beauty u have to be die hard and i am not lol also the way my company is trying to profit off of AAPI without bothering to educate themselves really bothered me—same for black history month. The perks are great like all of the free skincare and meeting all these founders, but its not worth it when ur mental health is in the toilet

Also my companys turnover is terrifying. Ive been writing 6 blogs a week + running 3 social media accounts (posting twice a day on each) bc the entire social team quit and management is a joke. It was the worst experience of my life so i quit. And then my boss turned around and told everyone she fired me 🙃 after i expressed my frustration and unhappiness to her multiple times for her to say in the most condescending tone EVER: “i just dont understand why this is so hard for you”

Granted, i learned a lot in a very short amount of time and now i have beauty writing experience i can use if i need to!

Anyway, im moving to publishing THANK GOD AND FUCKING FINALLY

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horserandom18 · 2 years

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queernuck · 3 years

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The Cleveland Browns made the playoffs. The Islanders made the Eastern Conference Finals.

And that’s enough for me.

So long, so long I have been living like this, pretending that I want to keep on living, that life feels worthwhile, that I don’t want to kill myself. Suicide is for cowards but ive been chickening out for a whole decade, to the point where getting on the subway was itself something that involved convincing myself not to jump in front of it. I remember once while working in the city, I watched and waited as two trains came in and left, trying to get the energy to jump in front of them. I had decided, if I couldn’t do it by the time a second train came and went, I would go to work and save it for another day. I came very close, my legs tense like a linebacker on 4th & Goal, but I didn’t do it. Maybe it would be better if I had, I would have saved not only myself but a lot of other people a lot of pain and suffering. I’ve been dealing with feeling suicidal for a decade, an entire ten years, and made it through. And for what? I lost a retail job at minimum wage, I’ve seen the Giants go from two-time Super Bowl kingslayers to a team that relied on the Eagles for a playoff berth, I got to see Evangelion only for the final Rebuild film to be infinitely delayed, I have a useless non-degree that allows me to eloquently describe how the Democrats and Republicans alike are driving this stolen land to Fascism while sycophants tell me Vote Blue No Matter Who. I’m so tired, I’m not even the person people think me to be, since if I were, I wouldn’t be in this mess.

My paychecks, as hard-earned as they were, never seemed to be mine in any real sense, and it made me so frustrated that something in me broke at the beginning of this year. I made some mistakes, some very stupid ones, and got myself fired. I took money from and distorted the inventory of my store to get what amounted to pocket money, less than two paychecks. I was tempted because I feel so powerless, so much like nothing I could ever say or do matters, and so I decided to lash out against a place that mattered to me, against people I cared about deeply. Chain stores, corporations, all of those things are not really high on my list of things to care about. Barnes & Noble pushed out local booksellers years ago, an irony not lost on me whenever our own competition with Amazon was made apparent. We were reaping what we had sown. But what always interested on top of this irony was how symbolic these things could be to people, how much we figured into so may memories for so many. The Manga Aisle at Barnes & Noble is a staple of 2006 scene culture, a way that kids without the pocket money to afford the newest volume of Bleach it Naruto could keep up before scams became widely available. How the store was a place where people studying for standardized tests could use the test prep guides to try and get ready for the eugenic ritual of the standardized test. And just how much a chain bookstore became a substitute, socially, for the now-absent local bookstore. We bear the guilt for that, but at the same time we were still selling books, giving people a place to get coffee and sit and read and talk, in ways that libraries may not be able to. We certainly can never replace a library, given just what a library does for people. But we did do a lot of good all the same. Before it closed, some of my fondest memories came when I was the exact sort of annoying teenage customer I grew to hate, hanging out at the Columbus Circle Borders. Working at Barnes & Noble was tiring, dehumanizing, difficult, made me feel like I would never measure up to the authors we sold, the people books were written about, that I was a failure. And I am, as my death shows. But it also made me a part of something I was proud of. And that Above & Beyond pin I earned is in my jacket still, a reminder of something.

That something was shown in so many of the coworkers I had, who were incredible in so many ways. I feel awful for what I did, I genuinely do, because of how it may have hurt people who thought so kindly of me, people who deserve so much good. I wish I had the ability to address each of them individually but this decision was hastily made, and i have a feeling it will show in the things I miss in this note. Audra, your help in finding me a way to use the company policies to my advantage as a worker was something that gave me faith even after having seen the despicable firings and cuts the company went through. Linda, I can’t quite square the circle here given my actions, but I want to say your disappointment broke my heart and that while I will not be the one who shows it, your reassurance that everyone makes mistakes was welcome.

To my (former) fellow booksellers at Store 2216, all of my love and my sincerest apologies. You all have so much good in you, your willingness to listen to my ADHD-fueled rants and to discuss so many things with an incredible frankness was always impressive, in addition to part of what I loved about all of you. I want you all to be happy, and the kinship I felt with you was a vital part of what kept me going. It was tough, as you all know. But at times, it almost felt worth it.

The same is true of my CTY friends: it was a weird, magical place that frankly, a lot of us idealized for far too long and which sk many of us eventually outgrew without being able to let go of. And that was tough, that was something we had a great deal of difficulty understanding, that what helped us once was not always going to be helping us, was not always what we needed. But in eventually finding that, we found solace, we realized how life as a whole functions and just what it is that we can take from places like it.

To my other family, my Cleo family, I know I haven’t been terribly active lately, but I can never, ever thank you enough for the belonging you gave me. I have never felt anywhere as welcoming as Cleo. As warm as Cleo (even as we struggled to pay for the oil bill) was. As kind and understanding. As tolerant. As questioning and inquisitive into what that tolerance meant to us. I am thankful, eternally, for what you all did for me. The incredible experiences I had as a Cleo make me proud of what the organization can represent, and one of my dying wishes is that the organization continues to reach out to marginalized communities on Trinity’s campus. There is much work to be done in making sure abusers cannot hide in our family, but I trust you all to do that work. Tucker Carlson is a Trinity grad and we must embody the opposite of what he stands for, no matter how difficult it may be. I could go on about how this means opposing liberals and Liberalism/Neo—Liberalism due to the truth of tolerance resulting in a Popper-esque Paradox of Tolerance that implies Popper is a worthwhile philosopher, but that’s another issue.

To my friends on that Blue Hellsite, tumblr, you made a continual presence worth it, even with all of the bullshit this place brings. It’s the reason I read so much Foucault, Derrida, Deleuze & Guattari, read Žižek against himself, and so on and so on, and the value of that to me can never be overstated. I learned so much from the ways in which I learned to analyze the world, and that in turn became a huge inspiration for why I should try to do what I could to make the world closer to a place of revolution, one where we could perhaps eke out a living for one another. I loved how much I could be an unrepentant nerd and still love hockey on there, and while the

NHL fans on tumblr are incredibly annoying,

I can deal with that compared to the racism of most hockey fans.

Mom, Dad? I just couldn’t live with you any longer. I’m so sorry.

Grandma, I love you.

And the things I leave behind? Donate what can be donated. Hats, please auction, or at least offer to other HatHeads at a reasonable price. I had some nice ones. As for assorted albums, clothing, and other things, sell them and donate to a Harm Reduction organization, or organizations that advocate for PWUD in a radical fashion. WE DESERVE AUTONOMY!

I am a victim of the War on Drugs. Sobriety was always hellish to me, and I could never take it. I want people to be able to live how they want, to see sobriety and being on drugs as equally valuable states, to see the two as no different from one another.

Abolish all gun laws

End the War on Terror

Decriminalize and legalize all drugs, sobriety is what killed me.

I love all of you.

LET’S GO ISLANDERS!

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pinoy-culture · 3 years

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before I ask my question, I just wanted to say thank you so so so much for keeping up your blog and consistently giving out information where its readily accessible!!!

maybe this will make me sound like an idiot but to preface, I’m a mixed filipino american. My mom is filipino and some chinese and my dad is some sort of european and puerto rican. i was wondering, in your opinion, do you think it’d be okay for me (eventually) work with diwata and anitos? And how can I start? Ive been trying to communicate with my ancestors and I’ve been looking for books to one day buy (im extremely broke so your blog and any filipino witches i come across is all the info i can get) but i honestly have no clue where to start other than with my ancestors (weird dreams lately but nothing ancestor related i think). i took a DNA test as a gift and it pointed, predominantly, to the Western Visayas so im assuming i should study more on pre-colonial Bisayan culture (my lolas from iloilo so it makes sense i guess) but i also know that “blood quantum” is a colonizer concept so i dont wanna rely on it too much :/ sorry to ramble but pls help lol

First, I'd like to say thank you for following the blog! It really does mean a lot to me to hear from others over the years on how much my blogs have helped them learn about our history and culture.

Now as for working with our diwata and the anito, that is completely ok. The whole blood quantum thing among some Filipinos I honestly don't agree with. As long as you have a family member who is Filipino, you are Filipino regardless of your "percentage" and of how you look. If you have Filipino blood in you, the ancestors are there with you. Even if you weren't raised within Filipino culture or a Filipino household because your parents never brought you up in it, or you are an adoptee like some I've met over the years. Your ancestors are your ancestors regardless. They see you and know you and that is all that matters.

Now there really isn't any book focused specifically on reviving our precolonial beliefs and practices. Yes, some did survive and some even blended in with a form of Folk Christianity in the Philippines. You can see many of the older practices and beliefs still alive, but they have been replaced with Catholic imagery and Saints.

But, in regards actually believing in and worshiping our old deities, doing rituals dedicated to the deity, or even some rites of passage like the Tagalog first menstruation rite of passage, or making carved figures dedicated to the diwata and anito, or performing maganito/paganito or atang to the diwata and anito, majority of Filipinos don't do this, or even know it.

So for being an Anito Reconstructionist, which is a label I personally use for my spiritual beliefs and others have adopted, there really isn't a book for it. A Reconstructionist in other ethnic spiritual paths, such as the Celtic, Roman, Aztec, Kemetic, Greek, Norse, etc., are those who look at historical records to try and piece together what was once practiced and believed in prior to Christianity. Over many years, these different spiritual paths have eventually come together, formed a community, and have resources like books and teachers. They have had the time to do all the research and put together a more formal spirituality based on those Pre-Christian beliefs and bringing it to the modern day where they have hundreds to thousands of people who have gone back to those beliefs. With some, they have even created temples, shrines to their deities, and even have celebrations.

Unfortunately that is not the case for us. However, due to the growing interest in our precolonial beliefs and practices over the years, I can see Anito Reconstructionism growing within the next several years. It already has, with many people actually trying to learn more about these beliefs and our old deities. The amount of people of people I've seen and talked to who have expressed their interest to reclaim these precolonial beliefs and practices is nothing compared to 10 years ago when it was hard to even find one or two people who did.

It is why I've been writing this book for a few years now dedicated to helping others in wanting to reclaim our precolonial beliefs and practices as a starting point in their research. For now though, I always recommend those who are starting to simply just read the historical texts. Grab a notebook and write down notes. Organize your notes into deities, rituals, how to make an offering, any prayers to a specific deity, how to set up an altar, etc.

Seeing as your family is from the island of Panay in the Western Bisayas, like my moms side are from, I would start with looking at the Bisayan precolonial beliefs and practices. A really good reference is reading Francisco Alcina's History of the Bisayans (1668). Volume 3 is available online in English which you can find here. Volume 3 goes into a lot of detail in the beliefs and practices. The Boxer Codex, if you are able to get a copy of the English translation, is also really good reading material.

Getting Started:

In terms of getting started, keep in mind that there is no one monolithic belief system or practice in the Philippines. Before there ever was a Philippines, we were different nations with different beliefs and practices. It is important to know your ethnic groups beliefs and practices and know their history. For example, I am Bisaya (Akeanon specifically) and Tagalog and that is what I work with. Others who I know follow the Bikolano, Kapampangan, or Ilokano beliefs. Though there are some similarities, each ethnic group had their own set beliefs and practices.

I often tell people that you can't just mix and match between them. For example, though I work with both the Tagalog and Bisayan pantheons, I wouldn't dare do a ritual offering to both a Tagalog or Bisayan deity at the same time. It's always separate. You also can't combine 2 similar deities together from different ethnic groups just because they share similar attributes. It's just rude and disrespectful.

Start out small. Set up an altar dedicated to your ancestors. If you have any family members who have passed, put a photo of them on the altar. Leave offerings of rice cakes such as suman, food like chicken adobo, or even a cup of drink such as tuba, lambanog, or even Red Horse beer. But if you can't get access to an alcoholic drink either because one you are a minor or 2 it's not available where you live, you can simply replace it with a non-alcoholic drinks like coconut juice. Get a coconut shell or a seashell to either place these offerings as bowls/plates or even use them to put your kamangyan or incense.

Then start researching how our Bisayan ancestors worshiped and practiced. Study the history and read historical accounts, books, and articles about them. Write down what you have learned on these precolonial beliefs and practices and reconstruct or revive them. This is what Polytheistic Recinstructionists do. I have listed links to these texts here.

Ask questions to your family, particularly your elders. See if they know of anything or if they can share some traditional practices and beliefs they know of have heard of. You would be surprised how, despite some families being really religious, many still believe in the spirits, do some form of ancestor veneration, believe in omens that are being told to you by the ancestors or spirits, etc.

If you can, try to go back to the Philippines and see your family's ancestral home, see where they grew up, etc. Ask about family stories and folk stories. For example, my mom grew up in Aklan and has always told me stories of the aswang and certain omens. She also constantly talks about the mischievous "little people" who play tricks on you (for example putting something down like your keys and then it goes missing, until you find it again somewhere else). In the Western Bisayas, they are known as kama-kama. There is also a story of how her grandmother's cat visited her during her wake. The cat was missing for years, but it came back and stayed sleeping on top of the casket for days before it left. My mom told me that it was the cat paying their respects to her grandmother.

Keep in mind also and acknowledge our indigenous communities who have kept their beliefs and practices. Don't try to take them into your own. I have seen people cherry pick things from the Manobo of Mindanao or the Kalinga in the Cordillera, which is just disrespectful. Many of the IP, though some still have kept their beliefs, it isn't the most important aspect to them. What they are most concerned about are other issues such as losing their homes due to occupation by oil or logging companies, other settlers such as the Tagalog and Bisayans (especially in Mindanao), getting targeted as "rebels" by the Philippine military and often getting killed. But, by cherry picking beliefs especially of the IP groups, it's just disrespectful.

I will be teaching classes on Anito Reconstructionism soon and will have my first class possibly at the end of the month or next month. I decided to do these classes seeing as there is a growing community who are interested, but don't know where to start. I'll be doing a proper announcement on these classes real soon so look out for the announcement and hopefully you will be able to join!

#filipino #diwata #anito #anito reconstructionist #polytheist #polytheism #precolonial philippines #faq #question #long post

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year2000electronics · 3 years

Note

i actually don't have an opinion on either, so i'm curious: what do you hate about youtooz? (the price is way too much though i agree)

ok. so. first things first the REASON i compare these two series, and i believe it IS a fair comparison, is that they both serve the same role in their respective merchandising niches: a brand with a certain style that most figures conform to that is famous (or rather, notorious) for covering ridiculous amounts of media and their style being... well, depends who you ask. its just that funko pop covers mainstream media most of the time, basically anything that a big company can fund, whereas youtooz is for internet icons and independent creators

and the BIGGEST point is the price point.

so just using pops official website and my own personal knowledge as a jumping off platform, i know that the whole reason pops are so simplistic and accessible is because they’re meant to be easily accessible collectibles for the mainstream audience! theyre supposed to be neat little collectibles that are easy to get and easy to produce (which is how they maintain the price)

the price here says these star trek funko pops are 11 bucks, and just from personal experience ive seen pops go for anywhere from 9 bucks to 15 bucks, with some really common pops even making their way to the dollar store! so if youre a fan of star trek who doesnt have CRAZY disposable income and you just wanna nab a spock, hey. there you go.

now, vaulted pops and chase variants (basically pops that arent currently being restocked in stores, and rarer simple variants to already made models ie. gold mario) rack up a lot of money on auction sites, but this happens with literally every figure and limited item so its really not like, a pop problem. imo their goal of being simple, accessible collectibles for anyone to collect and enjoy WORKS.

now here ive got some figures from youtooz and- HUH. LOOK AT THAT. 30 US DOLLARS. (again, even more for me in canada!) now, i know that its not TOTALLY ridiculous bc even though theyre around the same height, funko pops have more hollow plastic and theres probably more complex designs but the REASON i do not think that these are worth as much as they are is because

2. THEY ARE UGLY.

ive done a little sketch here trying to analyze the sort of design philosphies of the ‘pop style’ and the ‘youtooz style’ and i think both have their ups and downs.

i will give youtooz the point for the dynamic poses theyre usually in, as that usually makes the figure a lot more interesting, which you REALLY need if your figure has absolutely no articulation

look at the youtooz charlie brown doing a baseball- hes in the middle of an action pose, and it has a GREAT silhouette. 10/10 posing. some of the youtooz posing really fucking sucks but overall its got better pose quality

but a lot of pops are Just Standing There.

BUT overall i think funko pop has the stronger style. funko pop’s style has a REASON to be the way it is. why? because many of the first pop lines were just one in dozens and hundreds of already existing toy lines! so it needs a distinct style to not only give credence to a ‘collection’ mentality, but also distinguishing them from other lines of the same brand

like, there are so many different c-3pos out there, so i KNOW im getting a funko pop c-3po bc like. look at him.

so then, i ask you, WHY does youtooz need a ‘unifying style’? why do internet creators need to conform to this style? because both the reasons i listed above just, do not apply here! one, these are often the ONLY figures made for these creators, and two, there is NOBODY who is collecting youtooz. the point of youtooz is that there are LIMITED DROPS, targeted SPECIFICALLY at fans of THAT creator. which is why they announce it on their channel! so theres no NEED to use this ugly UGLY style! and yet they do!!!

another thing the youtooz style sucks ass with is, like, the default expression. for funko pops, the default expression is usually a neutral, which SOME say is creepy or offputting but IMO. its like, a blank slate. a resting natural that could be anything and that works as these figures dont exist IN motion. look at hello kitty! she doesnt have a mouth and its used to her advantage

but the closed eyes just fucking- its CONFUSING. especially in an expression thats not all smiley. its a confusing expression and usually a closed-eyes emotion isnt something that... stays on the face for that long? ik its a stylization choice but i dont LIKE it. theres no point of eye contact here. the posture suggests theyre looking SOMEwhere, like this rando throwing a thumbs up to the ‘viewer’ but his eyes are closed

AND THREE i just think funko pop does... ‘compromise’ better. so compromise is like, when something just WILL NOT FIT in your style. even if the reason for having that style is STUPID. funko pop has a better track record with bringing that style into synthesis with their own. yeah yeah you can strawman that fucking dory pop all you want but listen. there are GOOD EXAMPLES of this.

look at this peashooter! hes adorable!! and the funko nose and lack of mouth get broken here. but LOOK HES SO CUTE

this pvz zombie breaks EVERY rule of the design. a non-standard nose, a body not smaller than the head, eyes that arent all black, MOUTH. but like. look at him! you know its a funko pop anyways bc its a small cute version of the zombie!!

now lets see how YOUTOOZ compromises.

oh- oh wow. so uh, you saw a character whose big eyes are CRUCIAL to their design and instead of going ‘i know ill make the closed eyes bigger’ you go HMM LETS MAKE THE CLOSED EYES THE PUPILS’. wow. thats- okay.

tldr youtooz sucks and if it should exist it shouldnt force every figure to be the same stupid style. also who wants to pay for memes.

#mothra answers

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excelsi-or · 2 years

Text

welcome to svt (pt. 18)

hello wonderful friends~ I hope you’ve had amazing holidays. i hope the start to your year have been good. :D

JIHOON’S RUBY THO????? the song is really rock-heavy which I was not expecting. i was also not expecting the amount of ‘shit’s being thrown around and the ‘fuck’s that were implied. but i WAS expecting all the thirsty carats ive been seeing on my timelines jesus christ LOL. it’s all i really listened to today. now i’m waiting on a whole woozi ep. (speaking it into existence)

w.c. 1.3k (hi this is jeongcheol focused. i don’t know if i’ll ever write a specific jeongcheol fic, but they’ll always be in my fics.)

ch. 1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 | ch. 6 | ch. 7 | ch. 8 | ch. 9 | ch. 10 | ch. 11 | ch. 12 | ch. 13 | ch. 14 | ch. 15 | ch. 16 | ch. 17 | ch. 18 | ch. 19

‘You’re really asking to get these people killed,’ Jeonghan grumbles as he sits in Seungcheol’s chair.

Seungcheol, meanwhile, hasn’t been able to sit still since he got his hands on the Jardinier files. He shouldn’t have sent his best team in there. He shouldn’t have taken that damn job five years ago.

‘I didn’t know what I was doing then.’

‘It seems like you still don’t know what you’re doing,’ Jeonghan retorts. He leans back. ‘Look, as your business partner, I’m telling you that we cannot do what this “LT” is asking you to do. You already did what he wanted you to do five years ago.’

Seungcheol looks over at him now. ‘And as my partner-partner, what are you telling me then?’

Jeonghan studies him and sighs. ‘As your partner, I’m telling you that this is way too dangerous.’

‘I know LT. I know what he’s capable of doing. There’s a reason why he’s laid off for so long.’

‘Because he was going to wait until you were good, until your team was good. But we can’t let him manipulate us like this, Cheol. That’s not our gig.’

‘When you work with LT, it doesn’t matter what your gig is.’ Seungcheol rubs his forehead in frustration. ‘How did I know I would wind up doing some charitable criminal work?’

‘That’s not a thing,’ Jeonghan points out. ‘We’re still criminals.’ He catches Seungcheol’s look of frustration. ‘But I get your point. Yes, we’re not going around killing people. Someone should give us an award.’

‘Jeonghan,’ Seungcheol whines. ‘Please just be serious.’

‘Cheollie, I am being serious.’ He gets up and grabs Seungcheol’s hands to stop his pacing. ‘We can’t go against our morals, though. The kids won’t do it.’

When Seungcheol looks at him again, he balks at the boss’s grave expression. He hasn’t seen Seungcheol look so serious since they found out Jihoon killed a man.

‘They won’t have a choice,’ Seungcheol murmurs.

‘Okay, you really need to start telling me what exactly you did.’ Jeonghan goes out to his desk and pockets the button to his bug in Seungcheol’s office. Then he shuts the door behind him. Most of the kids are out on different jobs; he’s expecting a call from Chan and Joshua to make sure they made it to the car Hansol dropped off before he and Seungkwan flew to France.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he faces Seungcheol. ‘Spill.’

Seungcheol chews his bottom lip.

‘Cheollie, I can’t help you properly if you don’t tell me what you got us into.’

Seungcheol sighs and buries his head in his hands before going behind his desk. From the bottom drawer, he pulls out a file.

It gets tossed onto the desk. Glancing at Seungcheol, Jeonghan crosses the room and picks it up.

Seungcheol paces as Jeonghan flicks through it. ‘Before SVT became what it is now, I started the company as a sort of,’ he pauses to think of the word, ‘an errand company. My policy at the time was “anything but murder”.’

‘Sketchy but I know that already,’ Jeonghan murmurs as he flips back to the front to read through the file properly. It’s a case file. An actual police file. ‘Why do you have this?’

‘Well, you were right about the title being sketchy. LT implicated me in a murder when he had me clean up a body.’

Jeonghan runs his tongue along his teeth, tampering down his anger at the history Seungcheol’s sharing. A cop had been killed, his arm the only piece of him sent to the police station. The only part ever found. ‘You fucking hid the body.’

Seungcheol is quiet for some time. He lets out a small puff of air. ‘Yes.’

Jeonghan closes his eyes to process this information. ‘What does LT want now?’

‘Break into the police station and,’ he runs his hands over his face, ‘destroy any and all evidence of that case.’

Jeonghan hums. Doable, but cop jobs are touchy. They try to avoid it as much as possible.

‘Okay, what if we don’t do it? It’s not really our problem.’

‘He gives the cops information that incriminates me and then kills all of you.’

‘Kills all of us… how?’

Seungcheol covers his face again and Jeonghan can see the man’s body shaking from where he stands. ‘Cheol, how?’

An envelope is pulled from the bottom shelf.

Jeonghan puts the case file down and then opens the envelope. Inside are photos.

He gasps as he flips through them. They’re pictures of the body that has never been found. The man is young. And he’s also clearly been tortured. ‘How the hell did you get these developed?’

Seungcheol finally faces him. ‘Jun developed them.’

‘So, he knows then.’

‘I didn’t tell him what exactly the photos were from, but it’s kinda obvious, isn’t it?’

Jeonghan tosses the photos back onto the desk. ‘Then we have to do it.’

Seungcheol sighs. ‘One… one last thing.’

Jeonghan shakes his head and sits down in the seat across Seungcheol’s desk. ‘How can there be more?’

‘I’ve been… I…’ Seungcheol turns to his computer, types some stuff in, and then turns the computer to Jeonghan.

It takes him a few minutes to take the information in. As it settles, he frowns. The frown turns to a jaw drop as he understands the breadth of the situation. ‘LT’s international.’

‘Yeah.’

‘And he’s killed on international soil.’

Seungcheol nods. ‘Yes.’

‘So, you’re pretty sure you know who it is.’

‘It’s pretty obvious who it is. But the kids helped without realizing.’

‘And that’s why you think he wants this done then. So, whoever goes into that station…’

‘Will probably have a target on their back without knowing it.’

‘But you have evidence. You could just—’

‘If you say, “go to the police”, you’re fired,’ Seungcheol jokes weakly. ‘He’s an international serial killer, head of a drug enterprise. He has people who hack into government files and threatens those governments to pay up or he’ll sell the files to the highest bidder. We’re minnows in his ocean.’

Jeonghan’s head is spinning at LT’s resume. ‘Then I’ll do it.’

Seungcheol frowns. ‘What do you mean you’ll do it?’

‘I’ll go in and get rid of that evidence. That’ll get him off your back, right? That’s all he wanted, right?’

‘I guess, but—’

‘We don’t have a choice otherwise, Cheollie. We can start moving underground now, but he can contact you, can’t he?’

‘Yeah.’

‘So, until we get everyone underground, we agree to his terms. Now, what exactly was in the Jardinier files?’

‘Jardinier is a front for one of his companies. Why do you think they had throwing knives?’

‘I would have figured guns would’ve been more apt, but okay. What did you get from the files?”

‘That’s where I learned about the government stuff. He has governments on his payroll.’ Before Jeonghan can ask, Seungcheol says, ‘Don’t ask me how I got through all the encryptions.’

Jeonghan narrows his eyes at Seungcheol. His partner isn’t known for being particularly tech-savvy hence the skills of his team outshining him. ‘How many places did you outsource to?’

’15. Including our team.’

‘You’re overworking them now too? Between the Taeyong request and—LT is Taeyong.’ Jeonghan throws his hands up in disbelief. ‘Well, I’m an idiot.’

Seungcheol shrugs. ‘It’s a hunch; I don’t know for sure yet. But still. I told him no. He seemed genuine about someone killing his guy, but it’s probably just a tactic to keep me under his thumb.’

Before Jeonghan can say anything more, they’re interrupted by a phone ringing.

Jeonghan leans forward and answers it. ‘Yeah.’

‘Hey, hyung.’ It’s Chan. ‘We’re good.’

‘Great, none of the vases are broken?’

‘No. We swapped them out and dropped the package with the originals addressed to the museum at the post office. In the car now, heading out.’

Jeonghan hangs up the phone.

‘What do we do?’ Seungcheol asks.

‘I told you what we do, but we need to loop the kids in when they get back.’

#seventeen scenarios #Seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen imagines #Svt #feels wrong to tag this part as a woozi fic #so i'll leave this

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yoditorian · 3 years

Text

lacuna- part 8

din/reader

SURPRISE DROP!!!!! there’s only one more part left after this can you bELIEVE???? i’ll leave the emotional spiel until then and for now i’ll just apologise for the pain you’re about to go through in such a short amount of time💛

series masterlist // main masterlist

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst angst angst, some swears, no seriously this is just pain they don’t even bang, a confession

“Have you ever removed your helmet?”

“No.”

“Has it ever been removed by others?”

“Never.”

He’s lying.

Din has always been so careful with his words. Lying makes his voice tremble, it always has done. So he is careful, he never says more than he needs to, thinks on the phrasing of the promises he makes. He has only outright lied once in his adult life, to you. To protect you. Maybe that’s what keeps him steady now. Even with a blade at his throat and half the covert watching on. He does not falter.

You’d think they would make engine parts easier to clean.

You’re perched on a crate in the hangar at your old work station, legs crossed beneath you, as you scrub away at the dull metal of the second-hand hyperdrive motivator that some vendor in a backwater scrapyard had, frankly, swindled you for. The stupid thing isn’t worth the credits you’d paid for it, but it’s still a hell of a lot more useful than the one that sits completely dead in the transport’s engine. But this was your decision, and you have to live with it.

What’s the alternative? Spend the rest of your life working your way around the galaxy, flying for whoever’s paying? Settling down in the little house on the edge of the Damerons’ farm? Going back to the New Republic? None of your options sound appealing enough to move on. You know this place, you know how it works. That’s enough.

“Wasn’t just me who stuck around either,” Ran’s voice pulls you from a particularly stubborn lump of grease, “You remember this one?”

Your heart leaps into your throat, when he’d told you he was expecting company you’d assumed it was another one of his contacts. A black market buyer or seller, they usually are. Not him. You were expecting anybody but Din.

His armour shines under the lights, sparks reflecting off the unpainted beskar. It’s beautiful. But your stomach lurches at how new it is, that his old armour had somehow gotten damaged enough that he needed an entirely new set. Except one of his thigh plates, dented to hell and back but still usable. There’s something of the man you know, the man you thought you knew, under all that.

The way Ran talks about you like you’re not even there is enough to calm you. He has no idea about your history with Din. Good, one less thing he can hold over your head. It’s far from the most dangerous situation you’ve ever been in, but you’re not about to let your guard down. Not with the team you know is heading out alongside him. Although nobody’s told you where they’re heading off to, which alone is enough to confirm that you wouldn’t approve of whatever it is.

You’re grateful you’d tucked your old blanket into a drawer in your workstation, the hangar gets cold. Especially when the Crest returns and brings the chill of hyperspace with it. The knit of it loose with age now, but it’s the last of your life before. The last remnant of a time when you thought you knew who you were.

You don’t expect Qin to be the prisoner they’d gone to break out. Although, now that you look back, who else could it have been? Who else did enough people on the station give enough of a shit about to warrant sending a team after? The old team, specifically.

Nobody follows him out.

You’re moving towards the ship before you’re even really aware of yourself. Qin looks surprised to see you, but you bypass a greeting to glance into the Crest’s hull. Empty. Did no one make it out? Did Din-

He’s there, suddenly, walking down the ramp and catching the pouch of credits that Ran tosses him. You try to cover your sigh of relief with a cough, but you’re not sure how successful you are.

“Something the droid said, about the hyperdrive. Could you come take a look?” Din turns to face you, and for a second it’s like neither of you left the station. You’re rocketed right back to before everything as you nod and pull the blanket tighter around your shoulders. You don’t quite catch what Qin says when you disappear into the hull and unlatch the access panel, you’re not sure you really want to know, but you don’t miss the hatch closing up behind you.

“Mando?”

If Din hears you, he ignores your question, and the rumble of the engines lifting off almost takes you off your feet. You hurry to latch the access panel back up and wait until the ship steadies to shoot up the ladder and confront him.

Stars. Stars and three X-Wings dropping out of lightspeed right ahead of you.

Oh.

“Tracking beacon. They wouldn’t have let me leave alive.” So he did hear you.

He’s saved you. He risked precious seconds, ones he didn’t really have, just to make sure he got you out before the fighters got there. Something twinges in your chest when you think about your A-Wing sitting in the corner of the hangar, abandoned without a second thought and now blown to pieces. Suddenly your blanket feels a lot heavier around your shoulders.

You go to sink into a passenger seat, before you notice a pair of big brown eyes staring up at you. A child, not like any species you’ve seen before, but a child nonetheless.

“Who’s this?” You hate the way your voice comes out all squeaky, like you’re afraid of the answer. You are, there’s no doubt about that. But you don’t need either of them to know that.

“He’s a friend.”

There’s more to it than that, obviously, but you’re satisfied. One of your best friends is a six year old after all.

The child chirps as you take the other passenger seat, holding out a little metal ball in his three fingers. He waves it around, desperate to show it to you. It’s the knob from the landing gear shift. You’d know it anywhere, you were the one to screw it in the first time. Now that you glance out at the console, there’s not anything that’s changed about it at all. Even your A-Wing, in all it’s years of service, had had bits and pieces pulled out and replaced, and that had been brand new when you got it. So why hasn’t the Razor Crest?

“What were you doing back there?” He asks, and you’ve half a mind to tell him it’s none of his business. But you’re tired, and he’s using that soft tone that you only ever hear in the dark. You’re powerless against it.

“I went back after the war. It’s good money,” You frown, “It was, anyway.”

“You’ve been there since then?”

“Everybody belongs somewhere, Mando.” You don’t spit the nickname the way you might have wanted to in the past, but he recoils like you do.

But you don’t belong there, you never did. No, you belong in that little room at the inn in Mos Espa. You belong in the sky in a starfighter. You belong in some busy Yavin marketplace chatting with your friend, with the kid on your hip and Din by your side. You belong wherever you want to, he knows that’s not Ran’s station. And Din? He belongs with you. But it’s too late now.

He punches in the nav code for Yavin IV without even needing to ask where you want to go. It stabs the knife a little deeper, the way he knows you so well. The way he always has.

The child scrambles off of his seat and toddles over to yours, determined to pull himself up onto your lap by your bootlaces. Din doesn’t tell you not to let him up, so you haul the little green thing up and settle him on your thighs.

“Hi.” You introduce yourself, although it feels a little silly. You’re not sure how much he understands but he chirps in place of a reply before he gets distracted by the blanket around your shoulders. His little claws disappear into the wool and he drops his ball, utterly fascinated. You catch the discarded ball with your foot before it can roll too far and snap it up with your free hand. Din’s relieved you’re preoccupied with the little one, at least you don’t notice him staring.

“Is there a-?” The child snores softly in your lap, buried in the blanket he’d pulled off of you and wrapped himself in. You don’t mind. It should be used to comfort a kid again, the same way it’s provided for you all these years. Letting this baby borrow it is the least you can do for him. The kid has a history, if the way he twitches in his sleep is any indication, and you’re not about to deny him something he might never have had.

“In the hull, I’ll take him. You take the wheel?” Din easily, naturally, takes the child from you as you slide into the pilot’s seat. You don’t expect the easy domesticity to hurt quite so much. It feels like the galaxy is taunting you, forcing you to live a moment of a life you always knew you’d never get to have. You let yourself heave a shaky sigh when you hear Din’s feet hit the floor of the hull.

It’s been a long, long time since you sat in control of the Razor Crest, but it’s just as familiar as the day you told him to take it. You flick the autopilot switch off. Any idiot can fly in hyperspace, all you need to do is keep the ship straight, but you need to feel the controls under your hands. Anything to distract from the gaping hole in your chest.

Din doesn’t ask to swap back when he returns. He only settles in your abandoned seat, and you can feel his eyes heavy on your back. If he has anything to say, he keeps it to himself.

You hope he doesn’t notice how the house is exactly the same as when he was last here, when you were last here. There’s a fine layer of dust that’s settled over the furniture but two sets of footprints, one about your size and another smaller set, lead to the fridge. Several new drawings have been stuck up among the others. You might cry if you were in different company.

“Will he be alright?” You ask. Din had elected to leave the baby sleeping on the ship, as you’d touched down in a disused field across the track. He nods, trailing a gloved finger through the dust on the table.

“Will you?”

He’s not expecting that. But maybe he should have. You’ve never not been worried about him, not since the first time you let him touch you, but it takes him out at the knees every time. Even when he’s pushed you away, even when you’ve been suffering yourself, you have always opened your arms to him. He doesn’t deserve it.

“You could,” The words almost get stuck in your throat, but you know you’ll regret it if he leaves before you ask, “Stay.”

Din reels back. He can’t. You know he can’t, but you asked anyway. It’s enough to make his blood boil. He’s not angry with you, he never is, it’s his fault he can’t say yes. That’s all he wants. To stay.

“There’s schools, and other kids. You’d both have protection here. You’d be safe.”

The sun starts to disappear behind Yavin, plunging the kitchen into a red glow the way it did last time, but there’s none of the peace it brought before. It glints off his armour as the hope in your eyes starts to die.

“I love you.”

How can the words he’s always wanted to hear make him so angry?

“Please! Every time I think I’m over you, you come back and turn everything upside down again. Please just give me something.” You can’t hold back anymore. You can’t stand here and pour your heart and soul out to a man who says nothing.

“You already have far too much of me!” He’s never raised his voice at you before, that alone stuns you speechless. So you just stare, chest heaving, waiting for anything to break the tension. And Din does another thing he never has with you, he fills the silence.

“You have my name. You have my creed. I have nothing left to give you.”

He leaves without another word, for the last time, and you can’t help but heave a choking sob before he’s even shut the door. His absence is everywhere.

He hurts.

Hurts like nothing’s ever hurt before in his life. Walking away from you, disappearing out of the door and knowing it’s the last time. You won’t let him back in after this.

He can’t get back to the Crest fast enough.

Din practically falls through the side entrance of the hull, ripping his armour off before the door’s even fully closed. His guts twist and his lungs burn and he wrenches his helmet off, sends it scattering into a corner. He’ll find it later. Right now he needs to find the hole he knows is burned into his flight suit. A blaster bolt, a stab wound- something. But he only finds old scars and skin where your touch still lingers.

No smoking hole in his side. No blood or wound. Just the absence of something important in his chest. An unfilled space. A gap between his ribs, something missing. He knows what it is.

His veins are somehow filled with fire and empty at the same time, knowing that would be the last time. The last time he gets to see you. And even though the hatred was so clear on your face, even though you were merciless in the words you hurled at him, he still thought you were beautiful. He’ll always think you’re beautiful, no matter how angry you are.

Because he loves you. And now it’s too fucking late.

TAGLIST (add yourself here):

@brothersdrxke @rebloogggs @keeper0fthestars @remmysbounty @sirianisrock @thevoiceinyourheadx @firstofficerwiggles @1800-fight-me @ew-erin @chatterbean

#i wanna say i'm sorry but i'm not #lacuna #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #star wars #fic #liz does words #sfw

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mymelancholiesblues · 3 years

Text

No, Mia isn’t "low-tier" compared to Ada (morally speaking, or w/e) – a measured answer?/essay

So, a couple of Ada haters tried to put up a false symmetry between both of these characters there on twitter, and it inspired me to put my own thoughts down in a more articulate essay as to why that's (Ada's somehow being morally worse than Mia) not sustained by canon in Resident Evil.

standing there, killing time

can't commit to anything but a crime

all the good girls go to hell

'cause even God herself has enemies

and once the water starts to rise

and heaven's out of sight

she'll want the Devil on her team. ⁕

First things first: let us debunk the false symmetry that they tried to establish between these two characters with extremely distinct archetypes – and worse, the following replies to this false symmetry and its poor arguments trying to validate it, pointing out that, in fact, no, character B (that would be Ada, btw) – which is so evidently and ridiculously different from character A (and that would be Mia) – is, in fact, WAY WORSE than character A, and then proceeding to assert some unsupported propositions about misogyny in Resident Evil (which, tbh, definitely IS a recurring problem in the franchise, but that in this case particularly, little or does not apply AT ALL) and how Ada contributes to "the perpetration of a biological cold war".

Starting with what differentiates Mia from Ada grotesquely: we know NOTHING of Ada's true alliances in RE's world. Mia, however, canonically worked for a group that participated in the importation and exportation as well as the manufacturing, testing and marketing of biological weapons: "The Connections", a CRIMINAL SYNDICATE which, amongst other things, was also involved in money laundering, assassinations as well as weapons and drug trafficking. I don't care at all about Mia, so I don't intend to waste much of my time going on about her role in the plot, but people should've already realized by just that much how infinitely dishonest is to try to put these two characters as "similar" ones, or argue that Ada is somehow worse.

Another detail that shouldn't escape anyone's attention too, are the origins and nationalities of both – and yes, I intend to briefly bring up racism against eastern-Asian looking characters (a silent plague that takes form by each passing day in all fiction fandoms) and anti-China xenophobia, but for now, hold this tea there just before I drop it: Mia is canonically American, and previously a Texas-state resident; meanwhile, we have no confirmation of Ada's nationality except for her pretty evident Chinese ancestry. But, as I said, hold it there for a while.

i) espionage — the job

red so silent

wait a minute

or just a little while.

what are you looking for? ⁕

At all times that Ada's "job" was brought up in this franchise, in ALL of her cameos, she has NEVER been called a mercenary in the original Japanese. She's always referred to as a SPY. Even in RE2R, the most recent title in which she's featured in, the original text of the game makes a point of labelling her as a SPY (and not a mercenary) in the dialogue that transpires between Annette and Leon.

It's the North-American translation and correspondent localization that now and then falls for the equivocal use of this other term. This distinction is important since espionage NECESSARILY implies operating in an organized service for, perhaps a country, or a political cause, or a class/group, or a corporation, or whatever. While a mercenary is someone who's acting per their self financial interests, indiscriminately selling their specialized "labour" and skills to anyone who'll offer more.

Ada's not a mercenary, she's a spy. But Mia, in addition to being hired to a canonically criminal company, was also the handler personally assigned to Eveline. I don't care how exactly Mia got in that predicament but the fact is: Mia was canonically employed by a company that profited over illicit activities and directly watched as a family was destroyed and toyed with by this new killing machine (Eve). Yet, we can't state for sure that we know to whom or to what Ada is truly affiliated with.

ii) sources — check them

who's a heretic now?

am I making sense?

how can you make it stick?

and I'm on a trial

waiting 'til the beat comes out. ⁕

This fandom should put a little more thought into which translation and localization of the game texts, dialogues and files they are using to support their arguments. I know that in some cases the United States people have a bit of an inclination to think of themselves as the owners of the planet and deem English as the only language that matters in this world, but let's not forget that RE is a Japanese franchise (wow, insane, right?!). Therefore, the most valid script, with the greatest amount of details, and highest credibility, is the Japanese original. Throughout these years, there have been several errors in translation and localization of the Japanese original to North-American English. And, believe me, curiously enough, plenty of those concern Ada, since she's often mentioned or referred to in a very vague way – without the use of pronouns or adjectives or adverbs that could help in indicating gender. This ended up causing those details and mentions to her to get overlooked, even though in the Japanese text it was a clear reference to her character (per observation of context).

iii) the good guys — one of

head in the dust

feet in the fire

labour on that midnight wire

listening for that angel choir

you got nowhere to run

careful son, you got dreamers plans

but it gets hard to stand. ⁕

Yes, as much as haters try to minimize it, it is SIGNIFICANT that Ada saved so many important characters and stood for unquestionably heroic actions in so many moments - like stopping everything she was doing so she could help completely random Chinese civilians with the helicopter she managed to pilot in that chaos in China (yeah, I know you haters love to forget about this, but it happened, it's there in canon, and no, it wasn't her direct OR indirect responsibility what was going on in China: REPLAY RE6 and for the love of GOD, never again argue that what she did was somehow "the equivalent of evacuating a city after selling a WMD to destroy that same city". It's a case of pure intellectual dishonesty to say such a thing. It's canon that Carla was the one who caused what happens in China, PLEASE, PLAY RE6).

Furthermore, Ada shows compassion on some occasions even for characters who are directly putting her in harms ways, like Annette (in RE2 OG, right after - in order to defend herself - she slaps Annette leading her to lose balance and collapse over the sewers fences, Ada makes an effort in trying to pull Annette back and prevent her from falling) and Carla.

Replay RE4 and pay attention to it, pay attention to her solo campaign: getting involved with Leon's journey in Spain hasn't brought any real benefit to her mission or herself: Ada deviates from her main path several times due to worrying about him and trying to help him and almost ends up dead in several of these occasions over her insistence in doing so: by saving him from Bitores Mendez, by helping him and Ashley against Sadler, by confronting Krauser and stopping him.

It's so lazy to only read/listen to a file in which she says in English that "Leon might be useful to her plans" (this is way more nuanced in the Japanese original of Ada's Report), and ignore everything that was SHOWN in the game: every effort she made to ensure that Leon could rescue Ashley, remove the parasite from his and her bodies, and escape from that hell-island.

The jet-ski she left for their escape was ALREADY there before she was captured by Sadler (or you think she arranged it while she was caught?). Leon having to intervene and save her from Sadler WASN'T her plan. It WASN'T her plan to take the sample from Leon's hands. She wanted to help him get out of there with Ashley and she guaranteed he could do so, she wanted to get the sample by herself and escape too while sending that hell to kingdom's come. But, because she chose to help Leon rescue Ashley right in front of Sadler, she ends up captured.

On her end, Mia never did anything minimally compared to that, and all of her "selflessness" or self-sacrificing actions involved a much, MUCH smaller scope than Ada's: wanting to help her husband and HERSELF is not at all comparable to saving a few dozens of unknown Chinese civilians. So no, they aren't "cut from the same cloth". They don't come from the same place, nor do they share the same intentions or goals, and their contributions to the RE storyline are quite different.

iv) unknown true purpose (shades of grey)

lining up in the background

waiting for the crowd shot to be seen

in the shadow of the big screen

everybody begs to be redeemed. ⁕

In databooks, Ada is recurrently described as "a Chinese spy with extraordinary physical abilities, vigorous health and composed mind and spirit, capable of coping with grim situations and handling even the most difficult requests without losing composure". If we are paying attention to the storytelling ingame, however, we know that this isn't always the case: Ada did let her mask of unswerving emotional and physical strength fall and showed a very fragile side under strenuous circumstances a couple of times already.

Also, in these databooks, they often point out that "she has her own 'true purpose' and has FREQUENTLY betrayed organizations and clients to achieve it". Huh, we can AGAIN, by this only, see how completely different she's from Mia, who personally watched an entire family being driven to insanity by Eveline's hand.

Furthermore, in these databooks, it's often said that "this true purpose is still obscure and whether she truly cared for anyone or simply used her charms to manipulate people that crossed paths with her isn't ever clear". If people are willing to be open-minded and exercise their text comprehension skills, though, they'll see that in multiple occasions of emotional confrontation it has been established time and time again that yes, Ada DOES care. She wasn't capable of shooting Leon and there has been a couple of other times that failing to choose a cool, sociopathic calculation and pragmatical demeanour over empathy and humanity towards others has put her in harms ways: nonetheless she still chose it.

v) positive impact

I'm gonna break the cycle

I'm gonna shake up the system

I'm gonna destroy my ego. ⁕

To this point, RE's plot systematically leads us to believe that Ada has been covertly acting behind the scenes of multiple biological incidents COLLECTING INFORMATION (the job of a spy, who would've thought! lmao), that is valuable to numerous organizations, companies, groups and different contexts, but at the same time of allegedly offering to handle this knowledge for the right price to the big players involved with bioterrorism and clandestine trading of bioweapons, she's also working to sabotage said players.

This is evident throughout the franchise: she intended to hurt Umbrella's business. She outwitted and deceived Wesker multiple times. She even undermined Simmons, someone who was in a position of power in the US government and actively using that position to lead bioterrorist ventures on the parallel side.

There's no concrete evidence or hint as to what she does with the information she collects, and for all purposes and effects, I can presume that she's gathering this knowledge to assist in the discovery of countermeasures and vaccination studies. I might as well argue that she is a Chinese spy who is working against European and North-American capitalism and the imperialism that creates such monsters like the biochemical and bioweapons industry and that her real objective is to dismantle the market for bioweapons and bioterror supported mainly by the USA (see: Simmons and The Family).

That is, as long as it is unclear what her true purpose is, I have the freedom to surmise whatever the heck I want and that all of what she's been doing was for the sake of the greater "good" - and I'll even have canon moments to support this reasoning as it's clear that she regularly sabotages her customers (customers that are unquestionably established as playing for the "evil" side, with perverse intentions) - throughout the franchise. She did this on RE2, RE4, RE6 and Damnation. It's there, transparent in canon, people just choose to ignore it.

She laughs in the face of whoever she's talking to by the end of Damnation, saying she doesn't intend to deliver the Plaga; she scoffs at Simmons; she betrays Wesker and kills Krauser. She had been sabotaging Wesker for so long, that he sent Krauser to be the main agent in the mission in Spain, and Ada was just a "side effect" that he didn't have in control and had to keep an eye on, so he ordered Krauser to keep tabs on her. It's not a mutually beneficial dynamic. Ada doesn't want Wesker to succeed, she despises him; this is clear in the games in which they interact. There are even files that indicate that she was trying to double-cross and get in the way of his plans for at least 2 years before Spain, and he was constantly catching up with her. See here and here.

On her end, Mia was employed by and consciously working for a criminal syndicate.

vi) a (secretly) helping hand

oh, I'm a master pretender

just felt more alone

the further I'd go

but I'll stick around

I'll be your master defender

yeah, I'll stick around. ⁕

Ada approached characters such as John Clemens and Luis Sera, and both had a canonical intention to, in addition to putting an end to their connections with the criminal companies and organizations they've been working for, also expose and denounce them for their crimes. It's in this context that Ada comes into contact with them. And why is that?

Check John's background: he had made up his mind about disclosing Umbrella's crimes to the public. Check Luis' background: Ada went to Spain to assist in his extradition since he feared for his own life if he resolved to turn his back on the cult of Los Illuminados, and also dreaded the consequences of the liberation of Las Plagas on an international scale.

Keep in mind that Ada handed over to Wesker a USELESS Plaga sample. Wesker only got the sample currently circulating in the underground market because he went after Krauser's body. We don't know what Ada did with the master Plaga sample she obtained. We only know from Ada's Report and the Plaga Recovery file that she didn't deliver it to Wesker, and he needed to go out for a plan B to get it.

Even the G-Virus sample that fell into the hands of the clandestine business, it's possible to argue that Ada's involvement in it was flimsy, since Simmons CANONICALLY made over a thousand laboratory tests in Sherry, and, as we know, he was a leading figure in bioterrorism and bioweapons trading with the aid of his position in the US government.

But, guess what, Ada clearly is a non-white character with obvious Chinese heritage and Mia is white, so of course, OF COURSE, someone can so nonchalantly affirm that Ada, this "vile bitch", is somehow WORSE than Mia. The same Mia who watched the Bakers being destroyed. Right.

Also: trying to validate one's point by claiming anything related to the misogyny present in RE franchise, while IN THE SAME BREATH AND TWEET reducing Ada's entire character arc to that of "a sociopathic bitch cured by the magic dick of her love interest" is supposed to be a joke, right? No, really. Joke.

conclusion and a word against misogyny

we are waiting on a telegram to

give us news of the fall

I am sorry to report

dear Paris is burning after all

we have taken to the streets

in open rejoice, revolting

we are dancing a black waltz

fair Paris is burning after all. ⁕

To any Ada fan that has been reading this so far: PLEASE, I ask to consider refraining to use the "oh yes, Ada did some bad shit, bUT" take to defend the character because that isn't sustained by canon in RE, lmao. She didn't do anything evil that had an indisputable bad impact on the plot and other characters arcs. For one, I myself do love some villains, but that isn't the case with Ada.

She did do some unconventional shit yes, since she's a morally GRAY character and an anti-heroine, but by the end of the day, each and every action of hers had a positive impact on the journey of other characters and main plot. Just pay attention to it.

Like idk man, Black Widow, Elektra Natchios, Scarlet Witch and Black Cat from Marvel, Catwoman from DC, Yennefer from The Witcher (some pop culture examples that come to mind).

Saying that this is an "extremely selfish prototypal bad bitch except when it comes to the magical redeeming dick of her love interest" it's a grotesque reduction of a complex female character, and, in its attempt to critique the misogyny present in RE's franchise an expression of misogyny in itself.

Remember: Ada has actions and impact on the franchise ASIDE and IN ADDITION to her romantic involvement with Leon.

#Resident Evil #Ada Wong #Leon x Ada #Ada x Leon #Aeon #Leon Kennedy #[mine]#[meta]#//#Aeon fandom

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years

Text

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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random-fandom1 · 3 years

Text

Lights were blaring, music blasting, sweaty bodies grinding against eachother. A hand touches Peter waist, lips attach themselves to his neck. A man, his name is James? What a strange name. A hot name. A perfect name for such a hot man. Moans escape him. Lips continue to assault his neck, a hand pulls him towards the exit

"Is this okay?"

That voice. If you could fall in love with voices, Peter would be walking down the aisle.

"yes"

8 years later

“Olly James Parker! Hurry up, you don't want to be late for your aunts! You know what MJ did last time.” Peter shudders remembering about how MJ purposely put sand in his salad the last time they were late. The quick patter of soft feet can be heard from the landing upstairs and suddenly a small boy dressed in overalls appears at the top of the stairs, a mop of brown curls covering his left eye.

"Where are we going daddy? Are we going to that fancy place Auntie Shuri took us last week? I didn't like that place, the big red things had strange eyes and the plates. They were, they were too big," The boy made huge over the top circles with his arms. Peter had to agree though, the plates were bloody huge, "I like the cafe Auntie MJ takes us too. I like Kath. She's nice. The pink doughnuts are my favourite" Peter listened to his son rant on about how pink doughnuts are his favourite from Cafe Asgard for about 5 minutes before speaking up.

"There's no need to worry babe, Auntie MJ is picking the place I think. Shuri and MJ had bet on who stole more of the others clothes, turns out it was Shuri and then Shuri, being the competitive bitch she is decided to try and seduce -" Realising he was wandering off appropriate topics for a 7 year old, and that he'd slipped up twice in that story. He looks down to realise he's probably safe as the boy is still going on about how the sprinkles are the right amount of hard. "Go get your shoes on bud"

"Ok" and with that Olly ran down the hall, curls bouncing with every step.

Peter couldn't help but admire his son. About how he was an exact copy of him, from the hair to the freckles scattered across his body. Olly carried his and his dad's intelligence and needed to figure out how stuff works. He was a total clone. Well, almost. He had his eyes. Those beautiful steel blue eyes, the ones that looked at him with so much passion that night. Peter cried when Olly opened his eyes for the first time, realising that he's going to have to be reminded of the man he fell in love with, the man who left him alone and pregnant in his bed, everyday for the rest of his life. He's going to be reminded of James.

Peter is pulled out of his thoughts by a small hand tugging his jacket.

"Come on daddy, I hear a horn honking outside. I don't want Aunties MJ & Shuri to be mad at me" Olly says, looking at his father with huge eyes, genuinely scared of angering his impatient aunts. Resisting the urge to coo, He crouches down in front of his son and wraps him in a hug.

"Oh buddy, they'd never be mad at you...me though, that's a different story. So on that note, chop chop, I'm quite fond of my head" Peter stands up from his crouched position, takes Olly's hand and walks out the front door

"-and the dinosaur was big and green with spik-"

"Ok Olls, I think that's enough of that story. Why don't we head inside" Peter said, holding a tight smile on his face. He unbuckled Olly and headed inside, followed closely by MJ and Shuri. MJ instantly headed towards their usual table beside the window while Shuri made her way into the queue where she instantly started talking to a brown haired man. 'Must be a friend from work' Peter thought. He crouched down to Olly’s level, "Why don't you go get a table with Auntie MJ and Auntie Shuri and I will order the food? You want a pink doughnut and a strawberry and banana milkshake, right?" Olly nodded and ran off towards MJ.

Peter took a moment to think about how he got to this very moment, about how he ended up having Olly. He thought back to the morning after. He woke up alone. James just slept with him, got up early in the morning and left without a word. Peter had to show himself out of his house. There was no note, no contact number, no nothing. All there was was a growing fetus and Peter who couldn't get the man with steel blue eyes and godlike voice out of his head. It was clear that he wanted nothing to do with Peter so in return, Peter decided that he didn't need him. That he can raise Olly by himself without another person. It helped that he had a big family and money was never an issue, seeing as his dad owns the biggest tech company in the world and his pops is a captain in the army. Sure he thought about going back to the flat, seeing if James felt the same way about him as he did. He wondered if Bucky would raise Olly with him, if they could be a family. He's shaken from his thoughts by his phone binging in his pocket.

Pulling it out of his pocket, he sees a message from his pops.

‘hey pete, do you know how to activate that protocol you used to wake us up with? Monster ear or something? dads fell asleep in his locked lab again. thanks, have a good day petey. love you x’

Peter lets out a chuckle when he reads the message. Trust his dad to forget to unlock the lab door. He starts to make his way over to where Shuri is holding their place in the line, typing back a reply to his pops.

“-and then glenn tried to make me take out her copies, like who does she think i am - oh, Pete there you are. I thought you got lost on your way over. Here meet my boss, Bucky, he knows all about yo - get off your phone it's rude” Shuri says, getting annoyed by his ignorance.

“Yeah, yeah. My pops is asking about commands again. I swear he never stops” he says, putting his phone into his back pocket and looking at Shuri. Peter was yet to look at the man in front of him, too busy giving Shuri a death glare.

“It's a pleasure to meet you Peter, Shuris told me a lot about you. She tells me almost daily about your latest mix up, I must say you have a lot.”

Peter freezes

Time stops

It's that voice, the voice he fell in love with. That deep and gruff voice with the right amount of softness on the edges. It's like music, the voice of angels.

He slowly turns his head to look at the man in front of him, watches as his eyes widen upon getting a full view of his face, realising washing over him.

Everything around them become background noise

The only people left in the cosy cafe are them, scrap that actually, the only people in the whole world are them.

They must be zoned out for a while because suddenly Shuris snapping her fingers in between them. Peter's cheeks flush a dark scarlet and he closes his mouth which must have fallen open.

“Peter, you have no idea how much I - fuck, Ive thought about this moment for so long, and I - god, I dont know what to say” Peters eyes snap back up to meet those eyes, those pools of steel blue. They haven't left his mind for years, haunted him around any corner he tried to turn.

Thats when he realised, he was in love with him. He loved James, he hasn't seen him for years, met him once before that, but fuck, he loved him.

“I-uh - I…”

“Daddy, whos this? His eyes look like mine. Isn’t that funny?” Olly comes over and stands next to his father, looking up at, well, his other father. Bucky looks down at Olly, then back up to Peter, then back down to Olly. You can practically see the gears turning in his head, probably trying to figure out who this is, probably piecing it together slowly. Peter gulps and then looks down at Olly.

“Olly, I told you to stay with Auntie MJ. You know what happened last ti -” Peters cut off for what feels like the 50th time today.

“How old are you kid?” His voice is shaking

“Don’t answer that”

“Whos your other daddy?”

“Don't answer that either, go back to Aun-”

“Answer me, how old are you kid?”

Olly is slightly hiding behind Shuris leg, not quite sure what to do.

“You can’t just go around asking people you've slept with and then left alone to clean up the pieces with not even a contact number or note or anything’s kids how old they are, what is wrong with you?!”

Something flashes across Buckys face, regret and hurt, but they quickly go back to rage. Steel blue eyes turning into a stormy grey, like a storm at sea.

“I can if they may be my child!”

“That doesn't make it right!”

“For god's sake, stop being so difficult-”

“I’m being difficult? Do you hear yours-”

“I do funnily enough -”

They’re interrupted by a small voice

“Im almost eight…”

Both they’re heads snap round, looking at the source of the voice. There they see Olly holding up 8 fingers. Tears well up in James’ eyes, the final piece clicking into the jigsaw

“Hes my son..” Its barely above a whisper. Peter lets out a defeated sigh

“Yeah, he's your son”

Slowly James crouches down to Olly's level. Olly looks him over, analyses him as if he's trying to figure out what's inside this man. It's scary that Bucky has the exact same look on his face. Eyebrows furrowed, steel eyes cloudy. It makes Peter's heart let out small flutters.

“Hey there kiddo, Im, well im your papa.” Olly takes a second to process what's just been said before running into his papas arms. Tears are streaming down his face. Both their faces. Scrap that, tears are running down most of the people in the cafe’s faces.

“I've always wanted a papa, daddy always used to say that you went on a mission to space and that its taking a while. But he always said you’ll be back.”

“Did he now?” Bucky looks into his eyes and all is said in that look.

He was going to do whatever it takes to be a part of this family, to be with the man he loves and their son.

And Peter wouldn't have it any other way.

“Whats a bitch papa?”

Shuri cackles, an old lady gasps and Bucky's eyes widen comically

fuck.

#peter parker #winterspider #bucky barnes #tony stark #avengers #superfamily #steve rogers #marvel #stony #cute #shuri #papa #sad #sadbeautifultragic

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missmonsters2 · 4 years

Text

The Color Of You || Part X

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader/OFC

Summary: It was another mission Natasha was assigned to. Nothing she hasn’t done before. Same mission, different people. Sent undercover to investigate William Cain, suspect to funding terrorism and smuggling weaponry. Under the disguise of Natanya Rovinski, Natasha is ready for another routine mission. Until she met you, William’s fiancé.

Warnings: There are dark elements to this series. This chapter is 18+ smut. Please read responsibly. A ** will indicate when the smut is starting.

NOTE: Ugh sorry for taking so long I’m a POS. I can’t believe this is the last chapter! I will be finishing my [About You] series next.

PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV || PART V || PART VI || PART VII || PART VIII || PART IX

PART X of X

Count: 3167

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Natasha is torn.

She wants to make a scene, immediately steal you away and get you out of handcuffs.

But she knows better.

And so, she must hold herself still.

Everyone is currently sitting in a conference room, and Maria knows not to test Natasha’s limit and patience.

So, she sits you next to Natasha while she sits on the other side. Fury sits at the head of the table, staring at you, and you’re unsure how to read his expression.

But you know why this has happened.

“What is the meaning of this?” Natasha asks, mouth in a hard line as she looks at Fury. “Why is she in handcuffs?”

“Because she’s a criminal,” Fury says simply.

“She saved us all!” Natasha argued back.

“She abetted a criminal,” Fury says, not taking his eyes off of you. “Her guidance has caused the suffering of many, a significant amount of money laundering, and even death.”

“She had no choice,” Natasha hissed.

“Oh, she had many choices,” Fury turned to look at Natasha, “She could’ve found a way to contact us, contact any authority, she even could’ve tried to run away over and over again. But she didn’t.”

Fury looks back at you, “Isn’t that right?”

Natasha is about to say something else because the idea that you would be locked away, doing time for things you had no choice to do is ludicrous, but bring your hands atop hers, giving her a soft smile of reassurance.

“It’s true, I could’ve tried to contact someone at any time or ran away when I was finally allowed some freedom,” you admit.

“Then, why didn’t you?” Clint asked, frowning.

“Because there’s no guarantee that would’ve been the end of William,” you say softly. “What are you going to arrest him on? He hasn’t done anything at that point yet. Will you arrest him on the idea he might do something? You might as well arrest everyone in the world then.”

“We have your visions,” Steve jumps in, and you smile lightly at him.

“And what if I were lying?” You question. “How would you be certain that I’m telling the truth, that what I see is true? I can’t control my gift. I can’t conjure you up a vision on the spot. You would still have to wait until something I say comes true.”

“That’s not your job to figure out the Avenger’s job of bringing a villain down,” Fury tells you, but you turn your head and raise your eyebrow at him.

“It is my job if I’m the one who has to get directly affected,” you shoot back at him.

“Yet, in the end, your actions brought us all here,” Fury smirked.

Natasha’s about to stand up, but you hold her arm through your handcuffs, looking at her again. Her eyes search yours, only finding that you’re pleading her to trust you once more.

So she purses her lips, sitting down.

You turn your head back to Fury. “Let’s just cut down to the chase. In return for absolving me of my crimes, I will agree to research and training my gift, and aide the Avengers—”

“No—” Natasha tries to interrupt, but you pat her hand.

“In a consultant capacity,” you finish.

It’s silent as everyone processes what you’ve said.

It would be essentially in the same position as Tony. You wouldn’t have to go on missions, or really have to abide by the same rules as SHIELD.

Nick Fury quirks his lips at you.

“Is that your deal?” He asks you in his deep voice.

“It’s the only deal you will agree to.”

Fury continues to look at you before letting out a quiet chuckle.

“Alright,” he says, standing up, motioning his hands to Maria to let you out of your handcuffs. “Deal.”

When all in said and done, you stand up with Natasha. Everyone begins to leave the room.

Clint and Bruce pat you gently on the shoulder as they leave with a smile.

“If you ever decide you need a better income, come work for me,” Tony tells you with his signature smirk, and you smile back at him.

“As what?” You tilt your head.

“Well,” Tony hums, “I could always use more paintings in my building. Peppers says my decor is shit.”

You laugh, and Tony smiles at you once more.

“See you around, third eye,” He chuckles at his own nickname that causes Natasha to roll her eyes.

Steve is the last to leave, standing before you with his hands behind his back and a slight curve in his eyebrow.

“Did you know that you would be arrested?” He asks finally.

You lick your lips.

“What have I told you about the future?” You say, and Steve just shakes his head with a smile, leaning down to give you a gentle hug before leaving.

Once everyone is gone from the room, Natasha pulls you into her embrace, hand starting at the lower dip of your back before trailing its way up to the base of your neck.

“You had me wrapped around your finger right from the beginning, didn’t you?” Natasha whispers against the crook of your ear.

“Just as much as you had me around yours,” you say in return.

It isn’t long before Natasha finds your lips with her own, and the soft sigh that leaves your mouth is a sound that Natasha finds she treasures.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

You quickly move into the Avengers’ Tower on Natasha’s floor. At first, Natasha wanted to find her own place where she could live with you, but you argued it’s better to be surrounded by family.

The tower was secure, and it’s nice to be somewhere filled with people for a change.

You settled in quite nicely, and you like that you can see so much New York outside from your room with Natasha.

It was lively with how you painted drawings on the wall with Natasha watching.

You’ve seen to have fallen into a nice routine so far. Natasha has more free time with no missions currently.

You wake around 9AM and sneak out of bed quietly to make coffee for Natasha.

You think it’s adorable that Natasha is not a morning person at all if she doesn’t have to be. She’ll stay in bed until 2PM if you let her.

You’re currently sitting in the living room watching TV. On the news station, you see that David has used his money to buy out William’s company. When the news came to light, his stocks dropped and obviously, his company tanked. David saved it by buying it and everyone innocent who worked there.

“It is my promise that I will rebuild and restore honor to this company. With our rebranding, I will show the world the true legacy the previous late CEO, William’s father, wanted to bring to this world...”

You smiled. You were sure that David would do what he promised.

You get late lunch with Steve and trade drawings that you’ve been working on. He’s easy to be around, and you’re glad that he’s also someone that Natasha trusts.

All while living your new life, you also dedicate time to sit with researchers that Maria and Tony set out for you to help you with your gift.

It’s slow going. For many days there wasn’t much to work with, but as time went on, more data was compiled, and you’re beginning to understand more of yourself and your gift. Here and there, you can help people on their missions when the visions pop into your head, and for once, you like that you’re using it to save lives in an honest way. In the small moments, there’s no scheming.

“So, what’s the plan now, third eye?” Tony asks you, and you smile.

“I’m going to head back to my room. Natasha will probably wake within an hour.”

“She’s still sleeping? Jeeze, it��s like 1PM now,” Tony rolls his eyes in a joking manner, and you can’t help but chuckle.

“I don’t have the heart to wake her. she’s too cute.”

“I don’t know if the word ‘cute’ is what I would describe Natasha.”

“Well, I’m describing her, not you,” you smirk before sighing. “Alright, Tin Man, I’m going to go.”

You walk off, and you hear Tony mumbling, “Tin Man?” before laughing.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Mornings don’t settle well.

Natasha doesn’t understand why her body can’t just come to love the mornings. It would just make everything easier.

But she can smell coffee, and her heart warms, knowing you’ve brewed a fresh batch for her. She gets up groggily, pressing her palm to her eye in hopes of pushing the sleep away before running her fingers through her hair.

Getting out of bed, Natasha makes her way out to the living room quietly because she catches the sight of your back as you paint. She leans against the wall, just taking in the blotches of paint on your fingers and forearms, smiling because Natasha just can’t explain how the sight makes her feel. She loves seeing you with your messy bun.

Her eyes travel down to the over-sized dress shirt you have on and can’t help but grin. When the two of you first moved in, Natasha insisted on buying you stacks and stacks of shirts for your painting activities. It made you giggle when you thought back to when Natasha was jealous of the thought you were wearing someone else’s clothes.

Once Natasha feels that she’s soaked you in enough, she walks forward to make her presence known, pouring herself some coffee before heading over to you.

You look at your painting, squinting a little bit before smiling as you put your brush and palette down. Turning to face Natasha as you’re seated, the other girl pulls you into a hug, her fingers massaging the back of your neck before she dips down and kisses the top of your head.

“You’re gonna get paint on yourself, Nat,” you mumble into her body.

“And it will be a wonderful addition,” Natasha smiles softly.

“What were you painting? You’ve been working on this painting since I met you the first time I saw you in the studio.” Natasha asks, but then she looks, and she sees.

It’s her.

There are vibrant colors everywhere, shades of herself that Natasha would’ve never believed herself to be. The detail you put in her eyes gave an idea to Natasha was precisely you saw in the dark when you had a vision of her.

Natasha is speechless, overwhelmed about how you see her, but she is so very in love with you.

“I told you,” you whisper as you stand up slowly, your lips brushing against her exposed collarbone. “You’re the most beautiful color to ever exist.”

Natasha puts her coffee down on the table stand, her hands sliding against your jaw as she cups your face. Her nose drags across your cheek before it brushes against your lips.

This is everything, Natasha thinks.

You’re all healed up. Some things have faded into scars, but Natasha loves it because it means you’ve survived.

Her fingers are slightly tangled through the baby hairs of the back of your head as Natasha pulls you closer to her.

Her lips press to yours, first chaste and quick, but the taste of you quickly draws her in, and before you know it, you’re in the midst of long, languid kisses that make your head spin. Natasha leads you to the bedroom, her hands traveling down the sides of your neck. One hand dips down the front, palm sliding across your bare collarbone as her other hand unbuttons your shirt.

The shirt slides off your shoulders, hitting the ground and forgotten as you back yourself onto the bed, slowly falling backward onto the bed with Natasha cover your body with her own.

Your nipples harden feeling Natasha’s silk top rub against your naked chest. Her lips descend on your throat, and you give out a throaty moan that your girlfriend just appreciates like it’s music.

Your stomach coils anticipatingly when Natasha’s lip make their way lower, her hands taking your soft mounds and squeezes them appreciatively. Your hips grind into her thigh that’s between your legs, and you feel Natasha smirk against your skin.

“Eager?” She teases.

“Only as much as you,” you breathily say back, but your hands are trailing down her sides until you reach the hem of her silk top. Fingers tread underneath until your touching smooth skin, adoring the goosebumps that follow where you touch.

Suddenly, Natasha is holding you close, cradling you to her as if you’re the most precious thing to have ever existed.

“I’ve waited for this for so long,” she admits, and you hum in agreement because you feel a burn in the back of your throat.

Perhaps Natasha may never understand how much of you revolves around her, but your heart flutters, knowing that she loves you too.

“Touch me,” you rasp, dragging her hand to cup your chest. Natasha presses open-mouthed kisses between the valley of your breasts, trailing lower with renewed determination.

Her tongue dips out, tasting your navel, and you feel the heat pool between your legs with the desire for Natasha’s love. Her blunt fingernails drag down your body, and you suddenly feel her breath at your panties. Her fingers hook around the lacy garment, dragging them until they become forgotten on the floor as well.

You’re well-content to let Natasha take the lead this time, but there are things you won’t let her deprive you of, and that’s undressing her too. You sit up, capturing her lips, deepening the kiss as you button her shirt with haste. Natasha lets her arms limp at her sides as you push the clothing off her shoulders and down her arms, letting them fall to the bed.

Lowering you until your back hits the mattress, her gentle hands deftly feels every muscle on your back, and you let out a moan because Natasha’s mouth feels even better on your breast. Her tongue traces a hot circle against your stiff nipple before her mouth closes in on it.

And when Natasha settles between your legs, your legs can’t help but wrap around her waist. The first grind Natasha rocks against your core have you screwing your eyes closed in pleasure, your hips rocking back with intent as you moan again.

Natasha gasps your name, stilling her hips much to your protest.

“Slowly,” Natasha rasps, “I want to feel all of you.”

You take a shaky breath, swept up again when she kisses you, her tongue licking your bottom lip, and tastes you.

Her fingers travel to your legs, and she seems to linger, pulling at your thighs, grasping your calves, and then traveling up and spreading you a little wider.

Your hips roll for contact, and Natasha seems to find a new intent, and nothing feels slow anymore.

Her fingers dip into your wet folds, passing over your clit before pressing firmly on the nub, and you can’t help but cry out by how good it feels.

Natasha watches you with rapt. You’re so honest with your pleasure, letting it show all over your face and the way your body arches off the bed. Her heart thuds as her fingers slide deeper, begging for entrance, and you spread your legs further for her.

Natasha’s fingers press and curl, drawing favorable responses out of you, licking her lips when you reach out to grab her sides as you match your hips to the rhythm of her fingers.

Colors are passing through your head again. The fierce red of Natasha’s hair, the deep, vibrant green of her eyes, and blue for the ocean you feel like you’re riding through.

And the building pressure in your lower belly pools and coils until Natasha pushes you off the edge, and you scream her name.

Opening you’re eyes, you look into your heaven, the tender green of Natasha’s eyes, and you know you’ll never be the same.

Between the ecstasy and the aftershocks of pleasure that ripples through your body, pulsing around the fingers still in you, you feel the shaking breath of Natasha against your neck.

“I love you,” she says against your skin, slightly salty from the sweat you’ve built up.

Your fingers trace invisible lines on her back as you slowly come back down.

“I love you, too,” you murmur, drawing Natasha from her hiding place to give her a deep kiss.

Your fingers are aching to touch her.

You need to feel her.

But the taste of you has Natasha still wanting more.

“I need to taste you,” she says against your lips. Your breath catches as Natasha dips her head and bites your shoulder gently, her hands already trailing down again, except this time her head follows.

“Please tell me you plan to let me reciprocate you today,” you husk, and Natasha chuckles, and you feel the rumble.

“Eventually,” Natasha concedes, finally reaching her destination.

“But as I said,” a hot tongue glazing over the oversensitive flesh, “slowly. We have all the time in the world.”

A moan escapes your throat.

And you pray that the world won’t end anytime soon.

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It’s only weeks before the bliss of being home with nothing to do ends with Natasha, and somehow, the world is in peril again.

You’re painting in the living room again while Natasha is zipping up her catsuit and also going over her equipment to ensure she has it all. Once she’s sure she’s got everything, she comes to your side and presses a kiss to your head.

“I’ll see you soon. I’ll text if I can,” she says against your hair, breathing your scent to remember it as she knows it won’t see you for a while.

Natasha is about to leave, but you jump up to grab something.

“Wait!” You call after her, running to your shared bedroom and then coming back out to give her something.

Natasha offers her hand, and you drop the items into her hand.

“Hair ties?” Natasha confusedly looks at them before looking at you.

You hum, “Yeah, you can go now.”

“Are you going to tell me what it’s for?” Natasha raises her brow.

You grin, “No, you’ll find out.”

Natasha merely shakes her head with a small smile, kissing you one last time before she goes off.

“Try not to get any paint on the wall this time,” Natasha reminds you with a look.

You nod dutifully, “I will do my very best, but you can’t lie and say you didn’t like the last painting.”

Natasha is really pushing it on time, but she just loves the little banters you have.

It’s blissful.

Natasha brushes a loose strand of hair away from your face as she gazes in your eyes. She’s probably late, but she doesn’t care.

“I will always love whatever you paint, I love the color of you.”

#mm: my fics #series: the color of you #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #Natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x ofc #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanov imagine #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow x reader #black widow imagine #avengers imagine #marvel imagine #avengers reader insert #marvel reader insert #Avengers AU #marvel au #Modern Avengers AU

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thatsbucknasty · 4 years

Text

she used to be mine (vi) waitress au

pairing: Y/N x Bucky

summary: inspired by the broadway musical. Y/N Beck is a pie baking force to be reckoned with. She’s pregnant with her lazy ass husband, Quentin Beck’s baby. As everything around her turns upside down, Doctor James Buchanan Barnes charms his way into her life.

a/n: we’ll get a peek of Bucky’s pov here. Hope you guys are still reading this, and sorry for taking so long to update.

chapter 6: a soft place to land

doctor bucky pov

I think I’m falling for her. The moment she walked into my office, holding that pie almost three months ago, I wanted to get to know her. I know I must’ve annoyed the hell out of her in that first encounter, I know I can be intense, but I couldn’t just refer her to a different person. I feel like we were connected, destined to meet. I’m a big romantic and I love how the universe works. I believe in my soul that we were not a product of coincidence or happenstance; maybe we’re not destined to be together but I’d surely love to just be her friend.

Everytime she comes for an appointment I hope I’m cherishing her company as much as I should, or praising her talents because she deserves to know how amazing she is. And everytime I’m not in her presence I’m waiting for the day I’ll get to see her again. Or hoping I’ll casually run into her at the market or in the street. Cause I’m stupid like that. Hoping some married woman, who’s also my patient by the way, will actually want anything to do with me.

She’s sound asleep right now, and if things were different and she wasn’t in such a scary situation I might wish she’d wake up so I could tell her how beautiful she is to me and how much I want her to feel the same way I feel about her. But even if she’s had issues with that awful man, she’s still with him, so… I know it’s not going to happen and I’d just make a fool out of myself.

And where is that bastard anyway? His wife and kid are in such a vulnerable state and he’s nowhere to be seen! I swear if he comes here drunk, like she’s told me it’s his usual state, I’ll kick his pathetic ass. She deserves better than this.

She listed a woman named Natasha as her emergency contact. A strange, scary woman indeed. She waltzed in here bossing everyone around, threatening to kill anybody who wouldn’t let her near her best friend. If I wasn’t scared for Y/N’s own life at the moment I might’ve laughed at all the interns she threw daggers at. The scary redhead went out to make some phone calls and get coffee, so it’s only me and Y/N, and the little nugget.

She looks so peaceful right now, so soft. I feel an incessant need to be near her and make sure she’s safe. Both of them really. It’s been a bad year for the both of us, that’s for sure. But all I care about right now is this woman, sleeping with an IV and a monitor by her side, and that tiny baby inside of her. I know they’re gonna make it just fine. I may be a little awkward and dumb when it comes to girls, but I’m damn good at my job, so for now, they’re both stable.

I’m falling for her hard. She baked me a pie and I couldn’t stop smiling once I was alone, just staring at it. The first pie she gave me wasn’t really for me, it was for Doctor Perkins. But the second one she made specially for me. I felt so proud that day, like I had discovered the cure to some major disease. She’s got me wrapped around her pretty little magical pie baking fingers.

y/n pov

I try to open my eyes and it’s taking an excessive amount of effort to do so. Everything’s too bright and I’m disoriented but I finally assess my surroundings and I realize I’m in a hospital bed. Oh god, my baby…

“My baby. Is it okay? I-” I whimper and try to call for somebody but there’s no one. How did I even get here?

“Y/N! You’re awake! Thank god!” Natasha and Wanda enter the room, and run to my side when they take in my panicked state.

“Nat, my baby? How is it? I don’t know how- I was- Please tell me it’s okay. I didn’t even get to give them a name yet. I-”

“Sweetie, it’s okay, shhh. You and the baby are okay. You’ve been here for two days, and we were so worried but Bucky said the worst part is over. Oh! That reminds me, Bucky said it’s a she! And she’s quite healthy, but you need to relax because whatever sent both of you here took a toll on your health and you need that to grow a baby, you know? You gotta take care of yourself, hon”.

I sigh in relief and try to relax back into the stiff hospital pillows. My baby is okay and it’s a girl. I feel like my heart stopped for a minute there but now there’s a sense of calm flooding me.

“Wait, you met Bucky?”

“Why yes, actually he wouldn’t leave your side but since Wanda and me are here, he figured you’d be more comfortable with a less crowded room”.

“Oh. That’s- um, that’s nice of him I guess”.

“Y/N? Would you like us to go fetch him?”

“YES! ...I mean, if you girls don’t mind”.

“Oh not at all. I’ll go, Wands you stay here to see if she needs anything”. Nat left the room and I suddenly feel so grateful to have such good friends in my life. I’d feel very pathetic if I was in the hospital by myself. No parents, no husband. No one else to worry about me and my baby girl.

“Okay, missy. I know you mentioned Doctor McDreamy was cute. But you never said he was THAT cute!”

“He is, isn’t he?” I feel my face heat up at her comment but it doesn’t matter anymore. They’ve met him and well, no one could hide that man’s handsome face.

“Too bad all of us are taken”. Wanda says while she cleans the chair by my bed with a wipe and sits.

Man, I gotta tell them what happened with Quentin, I feel like they’re gonna throw me a party or something. They really hate his ass.

“Yeah, about that…”

“Y/N, I’m glad you’re awake, how are you feeling?” Bucky enters the room and even though he has dark circles around his eyes and his face is scruffier than when I last saw him, he looks gorgeous.

“I’m good. Thirsty”. That’s all I manage to utter in front of the prying ears of my best friends, but I glare at them and Nat gets it.

“Oh would you look at the time, Wanda we should go back to the diner. Y/N, honey? We’ll visit after our shift’s over tonight, is that okay? You’re in good hands here, isn’t she, Bucky?”

“Indeed she is”. He says without taking his eyes off me, he smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes, he looks… concerned.

“Kay, see ya!” Nat takes Wanda by the arm and they almost jog outta here.

All of a sudden I feel extreme guilt. Bucky told me stress was bad for the baby and here I am. I feel like a child at the principal’s office. My eyes are welling up and I can’t even look at him.

“Hey, is something wrong? Are you in pain?” Bucky walks over to my side and takes a look at the monitor. I look up at him and he slowly reaches over to grab my chin. My heart does a little flutter and I hope the monitor doesn’t rat me out.

“I- I feel fine. But I’m so stupid. You told me stress was bad and- and I didn’t listen”, I can barely speak coherently in between sobs and jagged breaths, “I’m sorry- I had a huge argument with Quentin, he wasted all my baby savings and he’s having an affair, which I should’ve seen it coming, but I’m so, so stupid!”

Tears flow down my cheeks and I hide my face in my palms, then I feel the bed dip next to me and Bucky’s arms around me. He holds my back with one arm and the back of my head with another, whispering sweet words into my ear. I cling to his arms and let all my sadness and frustration be washed away by his embrace. We stay there for a little while and I try to mimic the rhythm of his breathing to calm myself down.

He’s the first one to let go and I hate to be parted from his arms, but he reaches over to wipe some stray tear and that tiny touch is enough to make me feel better.

“I just want you to know- you’re not stupid. Whatever reaction that you had and that led you here, it was completely normal. Y/N, if I may be so bold to say this- Quentin’s a lowlife. He doesn’t deserve you. I know you tried to work things out and gave him chance after chance because you choose to see the good in people, but you’ve had enough and you deserve more. You’re pretty amazing and the fact that you’ve been handling this pregnancy on your own since day one, makes you the strongest person I know”, he lowers his hand to my stomach and looks deep into my eyes, “you and that little princess you got there are alright now. It was just a scare. A very serious one, but you both are going to get through this in no time, I’m going to make sure of that”.

I smile up to him and he leans in to give my forehead a barely there kiss. Perhaps he’s right and things will be okay, maybe even more than just okay. There is hope in his eyes and in my heart, I can feel it.

“You should rest, I’ll be here, I promise”.

Bucky takes my hand to his lips and sits in the chair next to me, still holding my hand and kissing it every so often until I fall asleep.

chapter 7: never ever getting rid of me

#bucky x reader #marvel au #waitress au #doctor!bucky #waitress!reader #waitress musical #broadway au #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #quentin beck #avengers au #bucky fluff #she used to be mine #nina writes #chapter 6 #pregnant reader

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