#i might sell it to fund my surgery if it gains some attention

[gal-o-guacamole]

●Radiant is Gabriel●

Feb.2024 (stained and artistic glass, copper, lead, gold and silver paint)

Process pics + vid ↷

#im pretty sure i gave myself lead poisoning #but it was kinda worth it #i was making this piece for like 2 months #lets pretend it looks fine so i can justify all the time i lost on making it #he is incredibly scuffed but oh well #i might sell it to fund my surgery if it gains some attention #anyway #guac art #gabriel ultrakill #ultrakill #stained glass #ultrakill gabriel

[blankdblank]

Poke Pt 5 - Big Red Button

@devilishminx328​. @theincaprincess​, @lilith15000​, @jesevans​, @jiminapickle  

Poke Masterlist

...

“Hello, Pluto.” Tony said on the other side of the gate for the school outside the car Happy had running and waved from inside. “Wondered if you might be up for a lift. Looks like rain.”

“I take it this is your way of keeping me from being ambushed in another park,” you joked making him smirk and turn to open the door behind him you walked towards.

“One way to go about it, certainly.” He said following you inside the car. Luring Peter’s attention from his classroom inside, seeing his mentor here and not for him causing the teen to palm his phone he’d keep hold of in hopes of gaining first view of a message to come in.

Beside you on the bench seat Tony settled and Happy pulled off the curb. “Bit surprised there wasn’t a piece on the park in the Bugle. Veggie rodents, not what I was expecting.”

Smirking at him you said, “You can say what you mean, I won’t quote you on it.”

“You have a substantial press following. Four years you can trail it back like bread crumbs to see what you were up to. I had a team, to manage my press, I know you call him your brother, but even family should have a limit.”

“When the Goliath was stolen Rhodey gave a lovely speech to the press,”

“That is different-,” he tried to say but his voice trailed off as your smirk grew a bit.

“Eddie pays me a look out fee for scoops, 20%. When something happens, it’s all how it’s worded to the public. Pierce tried to gas me and drag me off the street four years ago. I could have chosen any name I wanted, I chose to use my name. Go to school, let the military release my name linked to the Blackhowls, my name on social pages, my hobby videos I post, and when I dance. You vanished, and everyone noticed.”

His lips parted, “This is how you stayed here so long, everyone at the paper, whole military, SHIELD.”

“This is my face, my life, and my name. Eddie found me stuck in a trap someone laid for Misique took me home, patched me up. I hear things, some people tend to not pay me much notice. I thought he was a weird drunk next door with a sleep disorder, but he just likes to pace and verbalize his drafts on a weird sleep schedule. A really great guy, who could have set up some sinister social stalking bond with a kid like me who is a magnet for chaos.”

“You do tend to be in the eye of the storm, don’t you? We can get you security, you know.”

“I think it’d be a bit more detrimental to them at this rate,” you said making him chuckle to himself.

“After your surgery we took a few drives around your block, I couldn’t go five buildings without twenty heads poked out the windows to watch.”

“Same as in Brooklyn, immigrants do look after one another, and a kid working four jobs gains a bit of a fair reputation, even from most criminals with some common sense.”

“We got your designs of the jets underway to the final inner details and are photographing this weekend for press. Upping the price as well, respectfully but it will increase interest.”

“All your business details, Mr Stark.”

“It’s your business too, you get half the profits.” Over your face his eyes scanned taking in the simple linger of your eyes on his, wondering what he was thinking up. “Any plans for a Pear Industries one day?”

“So far I just make and sell keychain pendants out of gemstones and metal I print for something to churn out for profit. Been saving funds since the contract change to have full payment for next semester. I wouldn’t feel right applying for more scholarships.”

“Well I’ll take fifty,” he said making you roll your eyes widening his grin.

“Industry normally implies more than one person or an actual store front or home base or something.”

“All the same, I would think up a name and trademark it now. Jump in especially if it’s a good one.” Pointing a finger at you he teased, “Toss your brother another headline or two in the process. What’s the site called?”

“Pluto Skapa Níu,” you said making his brows inch up, “Níu in Ancient Norse is nine, and Skapa is to create, or make.”

“Pluto Makes Nine, great way to work the name in. Dad tried forever to come up with a slogan for our company that wasn’t ‘Stark Comparison’ then he gave me this look when I said I’d change my name if he went with that.” He said making you chuckle to yourself. “Sorry, you said you print the stones?” he asked and you nodded.

“Stones are mostly metal, my metal printer can also create varying levels of earth and stone as well.”

“So,” he said then gestured to your hand with the moonstone ring on it, “I heard you bought that ring.”

“Not moonstones, or pearls, they have special properties. My ring helps with warding off bad dreams. Some things might be superstitious, but I bought the first one second hand and I thought it would be nice to buy a new one. Other stones are easy to lure effects to them upon creation. Most recent supply is jade actually, and they seem to be taking off. Ladies at the nail salon love them, told their families about them and bought a whole sack full to mail home.”

“See, now that is why dad said it was best you were competition, if anyone had a silver spoon growing up it was me. Fourteen at MIT trying to prove that even without the Stark name or blood I could do it. I don’t know how he did it, made it seem so easy in his early twenties to build his empire.”

“Grown man good at making things go boom with war on the horizon.” You said making him smirk. “That question will forever linger. Probably why he didn’t get to branch out in much more than movie production outside of war goods as that was the backbone of it. You inherited that, I inherited degenerative disease work.”

“Nature vs nurture in action,” he joked. “I would say it would be interesting to see how we both move forward from this point for our companies. Already looking into a place up north to at least move the Avengers out of the city if we need to. Press is a bit wishy washy on that topic. What do you think?”

“I think fate guides us either knowingly or otherwise. Choices are lessons from real estate to the snacks we pick throughout our day. I suppose with a jet you could always respond fairly quickly, the press would certainly have to work harder to watch over your shoulders. Up to you which wins, privacy or response time.”

“I think the space might be good, Capcicle has been stocking up on the art books and we got him a good tutor like I know you told him years ago and Barnes said it once over breakfast. Just casual and blunt to get a tutor to do what you said. I take it you told him about your talks with Steve.”

“We talked about a great deal of things from the past four years. I told him what I noticed about what could be under his behavior. When you lose something so massive, you need to bring new life into your life, hobbies or pets or even friends and passions. I don’t relish seeing people in pain, even if they have hurt me. And for some reason I need two feet and a hundred pounds to gain before he’d take my advice.”

“Highly doubt it’s the size issue.”

“I don’t know, he’d take Sam Wilson’s word before mine too, haven’t seen him much with Clint but I wouldn’t put it past him,” you said making Tony chuckle.

“I’m sure if you were to knock him around a bit he’d come around, how Nat won him over.”

Softly you giggled, “Cooper and Bucky are one thing, whole different strain of the Super Serum and they’ve had second doses. Icing people makes it volatile on occasion. He starts growing skin tag growths on his neck he’s got to be given another dose or his heart will give out.”

That had Tony’s lips part. “Holy, Misique told you the signs?”

“I had to give Cooper chest compressions until he could be retrieved for his dose when I was twelve. Bucky was happy to let me scan him since they had him iced for so long.”

“You, really have a vast pool to dig from,” he said and drew in a breath to say, “Got to be like a can of worms, you mention one thing and people keep wanting to dig for more as some try to wiggle out on their own. Man if people spent a week in your past there would be a lot less complaining in the world.”

“If people spent a week in my past there would be a great deal less people.”

“Your own purge, I get that, a lot of people make the world less safe than when they get here.” His phone cut off the conversation enabling Happy to jump in and cause the billionaire to look between you both when he could hearing about your speech troubles. Though advice was hard to give as you arrived and were let out to keep on schedule. The slight addition of wait time did however enable you to blow a bit more of your pocket money to get a nice warm cider to sip on prior to your first exam.

 …

Five foot tall at your side Eldfalls sat inside the chopper that flew you to the same base. Through which he hovered at your side on the walk through while the officer in charge filled you in to how things had been readied to streamline this process. Formerly just a weekend project for you the spare three evenings during the week could hasten the hold they could get on these coveted machines pilots were near to fist fights to be assigned to just like with the prior four. Smooth as ever your team was there, and excited to meet Eldfalls who they’d heard so much about, to get the ball rolling. Though that crater in Asia seemed to lessen the usual stream of heads and bodies who tried steal looks at the new pair to your gradually growing fleet.

Bodies were smoothed already and right up onto a wing when you had put your bag in its usual cubby and pulled on a coverall suit you tied the top half at your waist. To help guard the skin in the open cuts on your worn jeans and tucked into the tops of your boots to not let them hang too low and cause you to trip. Hair braided and tied back and neckline of your t shirt adjusted you sat down to start removing the cover to the right wing behind the propeller to start the conversation of that crucial part. Eldfalls all around the shells hovered to take in the mortal travel vessel even he could tell was saved from ruin by your efforts.

Comfort by lunch however did have the usual officers who came to escort you to the on base diner did have a couple heads poke in then right back out. Echoes of your voice and that of your dragon had calmed a good deal of worries as you went through the steps as second knowledge not flinching or hesitating.

A second visit by new faces however had those worries creep back as the group followed the voice speaking in an unknown language. Loki alongside Rhodey, Bucky, Steve and Sam had arrived half an hour to sunset. The latter stood in awe at the one handed lower of an engine chunk from the wing onto a platform held by a chain pulley three of the team slid an inch and gradually lowered it down to the waiting dolly below to move it aside for reuse later.

Loki however to the side eyed both your stained self and the dragon who spoke to you again in Old Asgardian correcting the sentence you had just stated. And as you reached into the wing to start removing the final mount brackets the Prince spoke to you in the same tongue responding to the statement you had spoken again. “What?” right to him your eyes drifted while Bucky came closer to one handedly give the stuck dolly a nudge for the crew straining at the weight of such a hefty piece.

“Were you not commenting upon the vastness of our empire?” the Prince asked, now smirking slightly as you tossed a mount into a bucket at the base of the ladder you were straddling to sit upon.

“Oh, practicing conversational Old Asgardian actually. My last trip to Vanaheim I had asked Hogun for a book on Asgardian but he gave me one, in, Old Asgardian,” you said making him chuckle to himself. “I have some friends who have been helping me to translate the book and make a sort of translation guide so I can learn the language. Eldfalls has been helping me with speaking it.”

“Thus feeding my next question, where, pray tell, on Odin’s green earth did you find this ship?” He asked now looking at the dragon who greeted him fondly.

“Bottom of the ocean actually. Misique helped to drag it ashore,” off your hair a couple of bees flew down to project images of how he used to look. “Didn’t even know he could turn into a dragon until we managed to get the wings and hull back whole again.”

“And you have flown this craft, I have seen this.”

“Couple times. Happened to hear a distress call last time, though still feeling controls out, still haven’t even found the hull hatch yet. Eldfalls loves being mum on his secrets.” You said with a giggle removing the final part to be able to swing your leg over and climb back down and wipe your hands on a rag there on the rolling stand you settled the tools you had in hand onto first.

Sam said pointing at the plane, “Now this is gorgeous, and you made these, you let Steve or the team fly them yet?”

Steve said, “I’m not a pilot.”

Sam said, “But you said you flew a plane once in the war.”

You answered for him, “He crashed a plane once, into the Arctic to stop a bomb.”

“Oh,” Sam said then looked at his friend, “Why didn’t you bail out?”

“There was no way to do that,” he said and you let out a giggle and turned to fold the ladder and carry it to the nose of the plane. “There was no way to do that, it was on autopilot to New York I had to disengage that to stop it.”

Rhodey said next, “I’ve seen the schematics for that craft, there’s this big button, right in the middle of the far right console that drops the engines off. It’d be a belly slide at worst but you’d have had time to skid down and run for it.”

“None of you were there, big red button or no button, I had to crash the plane.”

Steve said defensively making Bucky pat him on the back to Rhodey saying, “So you admit you saw the button.” They moved with you to the nose to accept the heavy cover you removed and lowered down to him with a hand he added to the tarped area you told Bucky of below.

Loki moved back to your view and asked, “I have been informed you have been, not just to Vanir twice, but Svartalfheim as well. How was that travel obtained whilst the Rainbow Bridge was broken?”

“First time, not entirely certain, we were walking down the street and there were anomalies of physics.” You said and he gave an encouraging nod, “A poster tore off a wall and hit a car causing it to lift up and rotate in a magnetic vortex field is the closest I could assume. Yet we just stepped back away from the car and we fell through an unseen portal into, well it wasn’t sand, but the sand-like surface of Svartalfheim. Found this fortress of a building and spent some time there. We found Jane on the way there and she had something inside her.”

“The aether,” Loki named the living sludge for you. “Rather dangerous substance, I was told it was sealed within a cylinder upon delivery to Vanir.”

“We found the Med Bay, and there was this crystal bed with mist displays of the body beneath it and hovering glass panels. We went through several pages of languages until we found one like Wingdings, it is a font where they have symbols for each letter.” You said gaining another nod from him in gratitude for the explanation, “Venom helped us to sort of guess the meanings of the options off the images and to find some food. Which, the food they have, is beyond disgusting to inspect for possibility of being edible, but some of it was tolerable.” You said making him chuckle.

“Some cultures have no defined palate.” He answered playfully.

“We did find a jar of earth salt there, so they had stolen or found or bartered for it somehow sometime. Anyways, after the aether was in the cylinder,” you paused and his brow inched up at the slight adjustment of the tool in the hand rested upon your lap.

“Yes?”

“When we were looking for food I heard the transporter.”

“You heard it?” the Prince asked.

“Like an automated voice when you come close?” Rhodey asked having turned his full attention to you.

“No, it’s sort of complicated.”

“I would say so most transporters have no audio functions.” Loki replied.

“I heard a root of Yggdrasil through it,” you said and the Prince’s mouth opened slightly.

Looking to Rhodey Bucky explained, “Yggdrasil is the great tree that connects the realms. Doesn’t talk to people usually.”

“It was just a platform with dangling crystals and eight hovering orbs, which had they been in order we would have been sent back here, but we landed in the middle of a field on Vanaheim and Eldfalls came to get us from there.”

Rhodey muttered to himself, “First that Misphisto guy and now magical trees.”

“And you chose to leave Jane Foster there for medical attention as you felt mortal capabilities lacking?” Loki asked.

“No, I just, put her down to try and talk to Hogun, but then a root picked us up to land on Eldfalls’ deck when he arrived and she was still on the ground. Though that seems now like a much better explanation that we left her there for better medical care,” you said making him chuckle ad Bucky in amusement look between you.

His eyes again moved from Eldfalls, who was now hovering to inspect the open wing, to the ship. “This seems a peculiar undertaking. This shell is quite old.”

“What I do. Take older war bird bodies and turn them into kinetic powered flying machines. Bullet and bomb proof, impenetrable for electrical pulses or certain radio waves to override the systems. They have some of my finished ones if you’d want to tour them.”

Sam said, “Oh I am so down for that, can I go?”

Rhodey smirked and nodded his head to the side. “Be back in a bit, Pluto.” Eyeing the Prince who remained still, peering up at you mid reach to have your bees scan the nose components to help you find what you were after before his inevitable step away to see the final product.

.

“This is quite sublime,” Loki said making the Pilots and Rhodey grin hearing it as he entered the belly, having just examined the outside of the refurbished war bird. “And this is common, Stark’s jet is quite beneath the skill level of this.”

Bucky said, “Well that’s a combat jet, there’s a sort of understanding, what I can tell, these aren’t war birds anymore.”

One of the Pilots said, “Mainly run supplies and transport, the first two are armed but we don’t see the need to arm the whole fleet. Our older Stark fleet are just fine for that.”

“Compared to Asgard, how does this rank up?” Steve asked and the Prince ticked his head to the side a moment.

“This is far from poorly, I would aim to guess this is closer to a Jotun glider engine. The hum is the same pitch. Vastly different bodies, though no less incomparable in skill. Where do you store the others?”

“Pluto is the only one who can make them,” Rhodey said.

And the Pilot chuckled, “Well, only one without causing an implosion. Giant crater in Asia from the last crew who tried.”

“This is the Shieldmaiden’s fleet then, impressive to have such a fleet at one’s discretion.”

Steve said, “No, she sold these to the US Government. For a pretty penny too.”

Bucky said, “Scandinavia did buy use of designs of hers for cleaner commercial aircraft and Stark for smaller private jets for teams and private owners. So that engine is from space?”

“I would imagine a great deal many notions have been shared with one so open to listen through Yggdrasil. Our best minds were found in contact with the great tree. Quite unrivaled.”

Bucky said with a grin, “Least it’ll help pay her way into a nice home. Been helping to show her house styles to pick what she and her brother like. He wants one too nearby to where she picks.”

Steve asked, “She’s buying him a house too?”

“Nah, he’s gonna pay off his place now and buy his own house after.” Bucky said as they filed out of the Blackhowl and went to head back to the hangar where you were cleaned up and out of your coverall.

A second meal at the diner enabled him to dig more into which book you had been given and how many tales you had translated already. Helped along more by the fact you had the book he came close to clasping to his chest at such a coveted piece of home when it was offered to him for inspection.

“You can borrow it, I’ve scanned the whole thing and sent my friends copies when I first got it to help with translations.”

“Thank you, I shall return it in pristine condition.” He said then wet his lips to break their pursed position they found in his confusion. “What friends are aiding in the translations?”

“I met some self exiled Beserkers, turns out two of them I knew as a child, go figure, they wanted to help my parents. But um, we met not long after I moved here and bonded over my necklace. That one has been collecting pieces they find in shops and whatnot.”

“They can be rather dangerous,” he said and asked, “My father assured us no Asgardians were left on Midgard.”

“Well, stragglers might encourage more desertion from loyalty. Exile is exile better to not let others know people have survived.”

“I would imagine that might be a possible choice Father would entertain. They are amiable?”

“Stone masons, crafters, a few have worked on sailcloth before they helped me to water and windproof my sail for Eldfalls. Just have to add the grommets and ringlets to hook it to the supporting beams.”

“Might I make myself of use within that project? The very least I might aid in lessons for mastering the controls.”

“Well you’re welcome to drop by when you please, Eldfalls at least enjoys the company of those who can speak to him fully.” You said with a grin causing his brows to tighten playfully at the final addition.

“You are ultimately prized, truly, he speaks of you quite endlessly. Tale through father stated not even uncle could gain such favor from his ship at the time. I would imagine the lack of a shared language and discovery of his inner workings solidified such admiration and loyalty.” He said then added after a pause, “Then perhaps I might, upon greater capacity of such time of companionship cross paths with this Misique. To thank her properly.”

“Misique doesn’t require thanks,” triggering the corner of his brow to twitch upwards, “From you or anyone else. Action for the sake of action not in reward, as my mother used to say.”

Bucky said with a chuckle, “My Ma was the same way. Pops just used to back that up by saying, ‘Do as she says boy, or I will pop you into next week’, then the skillet would always go flying,” he said with another chuckle, “Still can’t wait to see that sail you made. When’s the big bash to show it off?”

“After graduation to kick the summer off.”

“There is celebration to present the sail?” Loki asked with a slight eagerness to his tone.

“Yes, in Norway at the museum that has an exhibit on Eldfalls and the few chains and weapons we found inside of a few hidden hatches and a broken spear in the hull. And some teeth from the beast that Vili faced off with and downed Eldfalls I pulled from the opening in the hull. It’s actually been quite helpful to tourism to have the full following of videos I’ve sent of repairs. More money has been put into research on more artifacts and preservation for old forests that could be housing more relics yet to be found. Partly why I think they were open to the new aircraft design I let them use. To accommodate more travelers, Thor’s first sighting in New Mexico did spike interest a bit, but this has lasted much longer.”

“I could imagine more insight was gained throughout the process,” he asked then after a glance at his cup of tea he asked, “Would the invitation list be quite exclusive?”

“Oh, I could contact my grandfather, he has a more direct line of contact with the King and Queen of Norway who are hosting. I am certain they would extend invitations to yourself and Thor.” Luring a grin across his lips, “Quite an addition to the press alone, nephews of former King Vili himself there for the big unveiling, and perhaps if you are there I might not have to give a speech.” You said chuckling to yourself and turning focus back to your food as the guys chuckled.

.

Home alone while watching satellite footage of military vehicles nearing New York you called your grandfather to share the news that would ignite curiosity and excitement of being able to have the Asgardian Princes come to the grand unveiling. Sure as you said, the press lit up at wonder for how this would unfold and interest shot through the roof. No one could have expected them to return so soon or in time for this, but just in case there were back up plans made in case they did end up zapping away off planet like they had in the past.

By morning however familiar faces of soldiers from the Orca box search had found their ways back into your usual paths and onto the base where you were working to setup guard stations again, but this time laxer yet no less annoying.

Several days had passed before the Prince could come by again, due to both distraction from detailing the book he borrowed and the hours spent watching every video posted on the rebuild alongside more scrapped and taped up plans for Thanos had kept him away.

Just leaving you with dinners around gym trips with Bucky, who was pouring himself into this house hunting project to even out his heavy therapy sessions while he adjusted to his new life he would build.

.

Large stack of drop cloth in hand you turned to the curious Prince while Elliot and another Beserker carried the trunk housing the new sail. The exiled Beserkers here for this who had greeted the Prince formally greatly warmed him into their company. They set the trunk down across the arms of a lawn chair; each of them seeing the curiosity in his gaze at the simple cloth, “It’s a drop cloth.” That had his eyes lift to land on you. “I wouldn’t insult you with invitation to see a simple white sailcloth.”

In amusement he chuckled and helped you to lay out the cloth so the others could open the trunk and really have his jaw drop at the design which over the next three hours of this task he could detail and help the instillation of grommets and ringlets. His magic made ease of the task to hover the sail that could be worked into the supporting arms of the mast then locked in place with the final lock of the hidden rings where the ringlets could slide into the groove.

All around the ship flames danced to Eldfalls’ glee. Silence in this moment of relief and awe Loki had broken by asking you in a joking tone, “Just how have you been managing to get into the hull again?”

“There is an opening around the mast.” Up at him you smirked, “The hull switch is somewhere obvious, right?”

Breathily he chuckled and turned to the dragon head of the ship, right along the curve inside the inner wall of the ship was a hidden panel he gestured to making you grin and lift a hand he respectfully used his fingertips to adjust to the right spot. Flat on the metal wall your hand pressed and his smile spread to the sigh you gave when a split of metal announced the secretive hatch right behind you.

“Now, we can see the true craftsmanship,” and down the steps the doors to the hatch made he led the way, igniting a palm with green flames to light the way to the now patched section of hull. “And you have done well with this mesh. Novice craftsmen upon restorations often forget the new layers require the level adhere to. Myself upon my first crash I was to restore the damage done and nearly sank my ship anew had my teacher not warned me of this mistake.”

“I don’t know how to get the burn stains off the metal though. Tried scrubbing it a few times to no luck.”

“Truly these are not burns,” he said and your eyes snapped up to his as he turned to look at you. “This, is his fire lung. Had there been no burns he would not live.” A fact that would have you apologize later to the far from bothered ship who knew your intentions during the act were to help him and had helped to scrape some sea salt out of some rather uncomfortable spots it had been stuck in for centuries.

The eye contact broke as Eddie’s head came into view of the hatch, “Got the bus ready if you’re up for another test of the controls.” Nodding his head the Prince gestured to let you up first and when the hatch sealed watched you and Eddie lower the mast, in turn folding the sail together to keep it hidden.

.

“Now you have basic mastery of the steering,” Loki stated, having seen you power the engine to cast off the shore and get out a fair ways into the ocean. “Found anything else?”

“I know this curved spot here controls the levitation beam feature.” Widely the Prince had taken to smiling as in a smooth lesson of sailing he greatly explained more hidden controls and tricks until Thor behind Mjolnir soared up to grab his brother rather rudely without so much as a hello and soar off to fulfill some unshared promise of their attending something that night with the team. An act that had the group of Beserkers chuckle and help you to do a few more maneuvers to make the most of the time you had on the water before taking him back in.

..

“Would you-,” Mrs Stacy said in her rise up to leave her newest son in your arms so she could head to the bathroom.

Lost in a means not to cry the swaddled infant peered up at you mid broken crackle of a squeal as you just stared back at the pudgy pug like face all their boys seemed to have been born with by their older pictures. Eddie at your side adjusted his arm from his lap to smooth across your back to Captain Stacy’s continued rant. “And then some Sergeant came in and tried to have me pushed out of my own office! I’m a Captain, I outrank him! Even if they try to say the two don’t equate as I didn’t achieve that out of the military. I get it, but still, and they won’t tell us what’s going on!”

“Dad,” Gwen said coming out of the kitchen with a tray of drinks in hand, “They’ll probably say something eventually.”

“Or they’ll just try to put us into Marshall Law again like with the Titans.” He snapped back continuing to pace as he stole a glance your way seeing the stroke of a curled finger against his son’s cheek that tugged a hint of a grin across his lips to the sound the boy made from it.

They didn’t know what it meant, to be so trusted with a child knowing your same hands had killed a hundred at least. True you hadn’t ever hurt anyone under the age of schooling, but all the same you knew had they known this you would be the last person they would ever allow to be within a mile of any of their children. And in holding this boy deep in your chest you had to plan a time later to deal with the sensation of what it might have been for your own mother to have finally held you in her arms.

“What I know is they’re aiming to block up the city again with some plan the Avengers are cooking up.” You spoke up.

That had him pause and look your way again as what you said sank in, “Oh well that’s just lovely. Next thing we know half a block or hell, let’s throw in a bridge or two for them to topple in the process of what they’re up to. I am telling my guys, I don’t care what they say, they are not just taking control one day did not go well last time. Least now we’ll have a heads up and my guys can gripe it out before it happens.”

Mrs Stacy was soon back to claim her son whose telling whine had you and Eddie head out with a hug and goodbye for Gwen and her dad to let the mother and baby sleep after he had been fed again.

Down to the lobby you rode in the elevator. “They at least let you finish your work today before they sent you off the base?” Eddie asked not having been able to ask earlier at the promise to meet you here for this meeting.

“Well they had to, keep looking in like the whole city will blow if they don’t. Still doesn’t stop that one guy from staring while I’m in the diner. Seems like I turned legal and now I’m suddenly able to be hunted. Guys on my team have been keeping them away though. Don’t like it either.”

“Let us know if you need some knee capping done.” Venom hissed and Eddie nodded, continuing, “Certainly no secret that plan is being readied for. Kid let you in on any dates yet?”

“This month, is the best he could slip me. They keep bouncing back and forth on dates, something about a clear sky and they need some rod conductors from something most likely stupid.”

“Of course it’s going to be stupid, they still haven’t called in the big guns yet.” He said with a smirk at the doors opened and you stepped out.

Right to the street you walked to where he’d parked his bike, “Said he heard something about Selvig though.”

“They know where he is now?”

“Loki does,” Eddie nodded and smirked in offering you your helmet.

“Well then maybe me and Buddy should take a look around town. See if we can catch onto anything. Drop you someplace with food and let you know what we find out.” You added the helmet and he asked, “You okay, with the baby and all?”

“If they knew,” you said and he cut you off.

“Every baby I have you are watching and loving. I know, stingers and all, that’s how much I love you, how much I trust you. You’d let Buddy hold your babies wouldn’t you?” he asked and you giggled. “You know the goop monster is taking his fair share of time too.” Guiding you to settle onto the bike behind him to start the ride across town to the diner you frequented. Signs were everywhere that again the walls were going to start closing in.

Eddie had tried to be calm, but as Carnage was now surprisingly inside New York and working his way through Uptown there was a good number of buildings that had entirely shut down driving the elite elsewhere until the menace could be found.

Resounding silence in places like First through Fifth Avenue at certain parts of the day hinted to the effects. While those of the working classes seemed a fraction at ease that they seemed to be below the target list of income. Wall Street already was in the middle of being moved out to a newly purchased area of land in Arizona to keep their billions of imaginary dollars safe and brokers could work either at home or dare to head into the offices without a manager in sight to dictate their orders for the day beyond a morning virtual conference meeting. Even he was in town readying for what came next sensing it might just be too big for a tiny bee to scare away on her lonesome.

Pt 6

#Loki x oc #Escaped Child Assassin #Building Blackhowls #Eldfalls #Rhodey #Sam Wilson #Bucky Barnes #Steve Rogers #Loki #Eddie Brock #Venom #Gwen Stacy #Captain Stacy #Trouble is Coming #Carnage #Marvel #Tony Stark

[vivek1980-blog]

Lowering High Blood Pressure In Women

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[gozel]

Anton Shekhovtsov Apoliteic music: Neo-Folk, Martial Industrial and ‘metapolitical fascism’            Published as: Anton Shekhovtsov, ‘Apoliteic music: Neo-Folk, Martial Industrial and “metapolitical fascism”’, Patterns of Prejudice, Volume 43, Issue 5 (December 2009), pp. 431-457. Download the fully reference-linked version in PDF.            New war sorrows, new national storm tides will spawn new folk songs as well.      —Hans Breuer, 19131             In 2000, when I was the editor of a small self-published musical magazine, I received a CD entitled Victory or Death by the Swedish band Folkstorm.2 The CD contained ten tracks of harsh Industrial music and the disc was decorated with a Nazi-style Reichsadler atop an empty oak wreath.3 The back cover was ornamented with runes and listed the tracks ‘Feldgeschrei’ (Field Turmoil), ‘Harsh Discipline’, ‘Propaganda’, ‘We Are the Resistance’, ‘Social Surgery’, to name but a few. The words of the songs were inaudible, due to the highly distorted vocals, but everything else vaguely suggested the radical right-wing nature of Folkstorm’s ‘ideology’. Surprisingly, the band promised ‘No politics. No religion. No standard’, a prudent statement written on the disc itself.            If the band disclaims any reference to politics while these signs suggest the opposite, what type of ‘propaganda’ is it? Folkstorm’s message has little to do with that of some of its compatriots like Totenkopf, whose track ‘Can’t Be Beaten’ unreservedly proclaims: ‘Show them where you stand and feel no remorse, my Aryan brother, it’s time for race war.’4 Neither is Folkstorm’s message a provocation similar to the late Punk Rocker Sid Vicious’s notorious posing in a t-shirt with a swastika on it. If the message is not the White Noise broadcast of racial hatred,5 or the ‘spit in the face of bourgeois society’, then what is it? In this article, I argue that there exists a particular kind of radical right-wing music that does not promote outright violence, is not related to the activities of political organizations or parties, and is not a means of recruitment to any political tendency. Therefore, I take Folkstorm’s ‘No politics’ statement seriously, although I hope to reconceptualize it in a way that avoids any futile attempt to drain the clearly right-wing message of its essence. I refer to this music as ‘apoliteic’ (a term explained below), and this article will analyse its nature and significance by considering two musical genres, namely Neo-Folk and Martial Industrial, that are most often used by bands and artists for disseminating an apoliteic message. I hope to demonstrate that apoliteic music and White Noise are cultural reflections of the two different political strategies that fascism was forced to follow in the ‘hostile’ conditions of the post-war period.       Before I proceed, it must be noted that neither Neo-Folk nor Martial Industrial can be considered ‘fascist musical genres’. Unlike White Noise, which refers specifically to ideologically motivated music, these two genres are first and foremost typological constructs that embrace particular kinds of combined sounds. Indeed, whether or not Neo-Folk or Martial Industrial can be equated with fascist or neo-Nazi propaganda has been hotly debated since the mid-1990s when a number of bands playing in these genres started to receive—due to their extensive use of fascist imagery—attention from left-wing journalists as well as attacks by anti-fascist groups. On several occasions, anti-fascist protests, petitions and pickets were supported by the authorities who banned performances of particular Neo-Folk/Martial Industrial bands. In 2004 the major Austrian Martial Industrial act, Der Blutharsch, had to cancel a performance in Israel due to protests by, among others, the Israeli cabinet member Natan Sharansky, the Knesset member Yossi Sarid, the mayor of Tel Aviv Ron Huldai and the Anti-Defamation League. The following year, the most famous Neo-Folk band, Death in June, lost the right to sell its album Rose Clouds of Holocaust in Germany after an investigation conducted by the Bundesprüfstelle für jugendgefährdende Medien (BPjM, Federal Department for Media Harmful to Young People).6 Neither of these bands is part of the White Noise scene, but both embrace—as I shall argue below—explicit elements of the fascist Weltanschauung.            Major terms and concepts       There are several terms that journalists, public officials and scholars use to refer to artists or bands that—from the observers’ point of view—perform music impregnated with fascist or extreme right-wing ideas. Some of these are umbrella terms that encompass different musical genres, while others refer to specific ones.       The term ‘White Noise’ originates from White Noise Records, a label that released Skrewdriver’s single ‘White Power’ in 1983. Skrewdriver was a British band that openly promoted revolutionary ultra-nationalism through their records, and their performances sometimes turned into riots of neo-Nazi skinheads. Skrewdriver’s late leader Ian Stuart was a member of the British National Front (NF), while the band itself was closely associated with both the NF and the British National Party (BNP). In fact, Skrewdriver might be considered ‘the musical wing’ of the NF, as it raised funds for the organization and helped recruit new members. Moreover, in 1987, Stuart founded the Blood & Honour network that promoted ultra-nationalist bands, organized their concerts and served as a nexus for neo-Nazi skinheads in Europe and the United States.7 Since Skrewdriver played a type of Punk Rock music known as Street Punk or Oi!,8 the term ‘White Noise’ originally referred to Punk Rock acts that propagated extreme right-wing ideas.9 Currently, due to the generic variety of bands that play at Blood & Honour concerts, one can apply this term to any aggressive rock music that is imbued with an openly fascist or racist message.       It is crucially important to highlight two features of White Noise. First, this type of music is characterized by overt racism or revolutionary ultra-nationalism. White Noise bands do not veil their messages and some of the bands’ names—not to mention the albums and song titles—speak for themselves: Race War, Totenkopf, Final Solution, Jew Slaughter, Legion 88, Konkwista 88, Angry Aryans, Brigada NS, RaHoWa etc.10 Second, White Noise is associated with either direct violence against an Other or the political cause, however marginal, that inspires it. It is quite often the case that White Noise musicians do not conceal their membership in revolutionary ultra-nationalist groupuscules, larger organizations or even electoral parties. As mentioned above, Skrewdriver worked alongside the NF, while the Romanian band Brigada de Asalt (The Assault Brigade) is an integral part of the neo-Nazi organization Noua Dreaptă (New Right), presumably backed by the Romanian radical right-wing Partidul Noua Generatie (New Generation Party). A large number of White Noise bands appear on the so-called ‘schoolyard’ CDs compiled and released by the radical right-wing Nationaldemokratische Partei Deutschlands (National Democratic Party of Germany) for free distribution among German youth.       Surprisingly, the term ‘White Noise’ does not seem to cover Black Metal bands that promote ultra-nationalist ideas. In this case, journalists and scholars use the term ‘National Socialist Black Metal’ (or simply NSBM) to refer to the same White Noise socio-political message when it is disseminated by Black Metal music.11       Another umbrella term for radical right-wing music is simply ‘Right-Wing Rock’. This term gained currency in Germany (Rechtsrock) among left-wing activists, scholars and government institutions such as the Bundesamt für Verfassungsschutz (BfV, Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution) and the BPjM,12 but is used in English-language academic works as well.13 The BPjM states that, ‘with the exception of jazz and classical music, there is no musical genre that is not infiltrated by right-wing extremist organizations and is not a medium for extreme right-wing content’.14 It lists eight musical genres that are collectively identified as Rechtsrock (Right-Wing Rock): skinhead bands (obviously not a genre, but apparently the BPjM meant White Noise here), NSBM, Hatecore, Techno Music, Hip-Hop, Folk, singer-songwriters (again, not a genre, but individuals who compose and perform their own works, usually accompanied solely by acoustic guitar) and Neo-Folk. According to the German office, it is these genres that are commonly used by musicians who promote ‘the glorification of National Socialism, the representation of Adolf Hitler and his party comrades as role models (or tragic heroes)’, and who seek to ‘instil racial hatred, [or] call for violence against foreigners, Jews or those who disagree with them’.15 Such an analysis suffers from one grave shortcoming. ‘Right-Wing Rock’ per se is an over-extended term, and the BPjM interprets it too narrowly for it to be applied to the wide range of genuine right-wing music. To be a right-winger or even a fascist one does not necessarily have to glorify Nazism or seek to instil racial hatred. The BPjM obviously hits its target with White Noise and NSBM, but by including Neo-Folk — even if we assume it is only right-wing Neo-Folk acts — within a narrow definition of Rechtsrock, it risks missing the mark.16 In order to explain this crucial distinction, we need to consider two major concepts: fascism and apoliteia.       In this article, I subscribe, methodologically, to a dominant school within ‘fascist studies’ that posits fascist ideology as a form of revolutionary ultra-nationalism.17 This approach is most extensively elaborated by Roger Griffin who defines ‘fascism’ as                  a revolutionary species of political modernism originating in the early twentieth century whose mission is to combat the allegedly degenerative forces of contemporary history (decadence) by bringing about an alternative modernity and temporality (a ‘new order’ and a ‘new era’) based on the rebirth, or palingenesis, of the nation.18             This interpretation of fascism ‘implies an organic conception of the nation that is not necessarily equated with the nation-state or its existing boundaries, and which is indebted to the modern notion of the sovereignty of the “people” as a discrete supra-individual historical entity and actor’.19 The excessive mythologization of the nation as well as the impetuous thrust towards its palingenesis result in fascism having the appearance of a political religion. As such, fascism generates its own culturally defined collective behaviour that possesses specific characteristics, among which ‘adventure, heroism, the spirit of sacrifice, mass rituals, the cult of martyrs, the ideals of war and sports [and] fanatical devotion to the leader’ are most prominent.20 These features are by no means the sine qua non of fascism but they are indicative of fascism’s commitment to the aestheticization of political life, extreme activism and spectacular politics, and hence directly linked to its tendency to manifest itself as a form of political religion.       Although fascism is an enfant terrible of the twentieth century, its socio-political lifespan is not bounded by Mussolini’s and Hitler’s regimes. After the joint forces of the Soviet Union and the western liberal democracies had crushed fascism’s war machine, it was forced to evolve or, rather, mutate into three distinct forms. The groups that still wanted to participate in the political process had to dampen their revolutionary ardour rather dramatically and translate it ‘as far as possible into the language of liberal democracy’.21 This strategy gave birth to new radical right-wing parties that have become electorally successful in several countries over the last twenty-five years. Revolutionary ultra-nationalists, on the other hand, retreated to the margins of socio-political life and took the form of small groupuscules that kept alive ‘the illusory prospect of having a revolutionary impact on society’.22 The third form of post-war fascism was conceptualized in the teachings of two fascist philosophers, Armin Mohler and Julius Evola. In Die konservative Revolution in Deutschland 1918-1932, published in 1950,23 Mohler argued that, since fascist revolution was indefinitely postponed due to the political domination of liberal democracy, true ‘conservative revolutionaries’ found themselves in an ‘interregnum’ that would, however, spontaneously give way to the spiritual grandeur of national reawakening. This theme of right-wing ‘inner emigration’ was echoed by Evola in his Cavalcare la tigre (Ride the Tiger), published in 1961.24 Evola acknowledged that, while ‘the true State, the hierarchical and organic State’, lay in ruins, there was ‘no one party or movement with which one can unreservedly agree and for which one can fight with absolute devotion, in defence of some higher idea’. Thus, l’uomo differenziato should practise ‘disinterest, detachment from everything that today constitutes “politics”‘, and this was exactly the principle that Evola called ‘apoliteia’. While apoliteia does not necessarily imply abstention from socio-political activities, an apoliteic individual, an ‘aristocrat of the soul’ (to cite the subtitle of the English translation of Cavalcare la tigre), should always embody his ‘irrevocable internal distance from this [modern] society and its “values”‘.25       The concepts of interregnum and apoliteia had a major impact on the development of the ‘metapolitical fascism’ of the European New Right (ENR),26 a movement that consists of clusters of think tanks, conferences, journals, institutes and publishing houses that try—following the strategy of so-called ‘right-wing Gramscism’—to modify the dominant political culture and make it more susceptible to a non-democratic mode of politics.27 Like Mohler and Evola, the adherents of the ENR believe that one day the allegedly decadent era of egalitarianism and cosmopolitanism will give way to ‘an entirely new culture based on organic, hierarchical, supra-individual, heroic values’.28 It is important to emphasize, however, that ‘metapolitical fascism’ focuses—almost exclusively—on the battle for hearts and minds rather than for immediate political power. Following Evola’s precepts, the ENR tries to distance itself from both historical and contemporary fascist parties and regimes. As biological racism became totally discredited in the post-war period, and it was ‘no longer possible to speak publicly of perceived difference through the language of “old racism”’,29 ENR thinkers pointed to the insurmountable differences between peoples, not in biological or ethnic terms but rather in terms of culture.30 They abandoned overt fascist ultra-nationalism ‘in the name of a Europe restored to the (essentially mythic) homogeneity of its component primordial cultures’.31       How do fascism’s strategies in the ‘hostile’ post-war environment relate to music? While there can be no purely musical reflection of right-wing party politics, White Noise has nonetheless become part and parcel of the revolutionary ultra-nationalist subculture. And I suggest that ‘metapolitical fascism’ has its own cultural manifestation in the domain of sound, namely, apoliteic music. This is a type of music in which the ideological message contains obvious or veiled references to the core elements of fascism but is simultaneously detached from any practical attempt to implement that message through political activity. Apoliteic music is characterized by highly elitist stances and disdain for ‘banal petty materialism’. Both apoliteic artists and their conscientious fans appear to be self-styled ‘aristocrats of the soul’,32 united in their implicit knowledge that the imperium internum is the reflection of a forthcoming new era of national and spiritual palingenesis. Lost in contemplation of this utopian future, they perceive the current situation as the interregnum. Regardless of the extent to which the contemporary Europeanized world is actually decadent or spiritually impoverished, it will always pale beside the imaginary fascist ‘brave new world’.       The concept of apoliteia correlates with one more important, indeed crucial, notion, namely, the Waldgang. Ten years before the appearance of Evola’s largely pessimistic Cavalcare la tigre, Ernst Jünger published the essay Der Waldgang,33 which anticipated Evola’s reflections on apoliteia.34 Jünger, the author of the critically acclaimed In Stahlgewittern (1920) — translated into English as Storm of Steel — and Der Arbeiter (The Worker) (1932), celebrated war, in which he saw embedded the metaphysical process of the forging of a new civilization.35 He therefore sympathized with the Nazi regime, which seemed to be the embodied instrument for setting such a process in motion. However, as Griffin notes, Jünger ‘stayed aloof from politics, reluctant to abandon the heights of his metapolitical outposts’,36 although the regime actually benefitted from his literary works that legitimated fascism in the cultural sphere. In his post-war Der Waldgang, Jünger severely criticized the spiritually deprived Titanic that was the modern age, seized by ‘liquidations, rationalizations, socializations, electrifications and pulverizations’ that required ‘neither culture nor character’.37 Nonetheless, he urged free individuals to ‘stay on shipboard [sic]’ (that is, to use technological progress to their advantage) and, at the same time, ‘retreat into the forest’ (Waldgang). For him, the forest was a symbol of ‘supratemporal Being’ or ‘the Ego’ and, by ‘retreating’ into it, ‘the wanderer in the forest’ (Waldgänger) could resist the moral corruption of the interregnum.38 Confronted with ‘demoniac forces of our civilization’, liuomo differenziato rejects the apparent choice (‘either howl with the wolves or fight them’) and finds an alternative in ‘his existence as an individual, in his own Being which remains unshaken’.39 Remarkably, Jünger argued that the                  retreat into the forest (Waldgang) is not … directed against the world of technology, although this is a temptation, particularly for those who strive to regain a myth. Undoubtedly, mythology will appear again. It is always present and arises in a propitious hour like a treasure coming to the surface. But man does not return to the realm of myth, he re-encounters it when the age is out of joint and in the magic circle of extreme danger.40             While the concept of the Waldgang is clearly another aspect of apoliteia (or perhaps the reverse of it), apoliteic artists perceive themselves as ‘wanderers in the forest’. They necessarily allude to myths—whether pagan or, less often, Christian—but such allusions do not represent an attempt to return to a mythologized past. Nor can the positions of these artists be construed as anti-modern, let alone anti-technological. On the contrary, they choose ‘both the forest and the ship’,41 as they oppose the decadent interregnum with their inner commitment to a re-enchanted alternative modernity of the reborn nation, heroic individualism and a subjectively interpreted ethic of military honour.            Neo-Folk and Martial Industrial: the origins       Arguably the most obvious examples of apoliteic music—which reveals itself through music, lyrics, band names, album and song titles, cover art, style of dress as well as being subtly articulated in live performances—can be found in certain Neo-Folk and Martial Industrial works.42 From a ‘technical’ point of view, the two genres may seem musically different. The typical Neo-Folk artists sing melancholic ‘folkish’ songs to the accompaniment of acoustic guitars, violins and piano, while typical Martial Industrial acts create dark bombastic collages that usually feature various samples of military marches, battle noises or war-oriented speeches. The genres correlate—hardly surprisingly—with Evola’s interpretation of the idealized origin of now desacralized modern western music. From his point of view, as expounded in Cavalcare la tigre, ‘the most modern western music has been characterized by increasing estrangement from its lineage, both the melodramatic, melodic, heroically romantic and pretentious line (the last of which is typically represented by Wagnerism), and the tragic-pathetic line (we need only refer to Beethoven’s principal ideas)’.43 Although it’s unlikely that Evola himself would have enjoyed most extreme samples of Martial Industrial music, it is significant that both genres—no matter how ‘technically’ different they are—fit his description.            Apoliteic music is organically accommodated within Neo-Folk and Martial Industrial since their roots lie in revolutionary and national cultural traditions. While Martial Industrial clearly descends from Industrial music, Peter Webb and Stéphane François correctly assert that Neo-Folk, too, is an emanation of Industrial music.44 Industrial can be briefly and inevitably inadequately characterized as a fusion of Rock and Electronic music, mixed with avant-garde experiments and Punk provocation.45 Although the genre was ‘genetically’ born in the mid-1970s with the establishment of the Industrial Records label, Karen Collins has traced the first usage of the term ‘industrial’ as applied to music back to the preface of Francesco Balilla Pratella’s      Musica Futurista of 1912.46 Luigi Russolo, another Futurist musician and Pratella’s colleague, was the author of a 1913 manifesto entitled L’Art des bruits (The art of noises) in which one apparently finds the first conceptualization of Martial Industrial. Considering the variety of natural and artificial noises that could be employed for the projected ‘revolution of music’, Russolo wrote: ‘And we must not forget the very new noises of Modern Warfare. The poet Marinetti, in a letter from the Bulgarian trenches of Ariadnople described to me … in his new futurist style, the orchestra of a great battle.’47 Although Russolo’s Futurism did not draw him to Italian Fascism, Pratella and Filippo Marinetti did become—like many other Futurists—ardent supporters of Mussolini’s regime.48 Obviously, modern Industrial music has been influenced by other cultural and musical trends (Dadaism, musique concrète, Pop, Rock, Electronic and Post-Punk), but its emergence (or rather re-emergence) in the mid-1970s was a result of the ‘spiritual’ evolution of Futurist music.       Apart from general influences that shaped Industrial music, Neo-Folk draws heavily on national folk traditions. The first point of reference is a wave of the so-called ‘roots’ revivals that swept the Europeanized world a few decades after the Second World War, reaching their apogee in the 1960s and 1970s. Several major features characterized roots revivals: first, the revitalization and imitation of national traditional music; second, the adaptation of folk music to modern musical genres, especially to Rock and Pop; and, third, the politicization of folk music. As Britta Sweers argues, ‘in the context of the various twentieth-century folk revivals, the terminology [folk music] was always combined with political or ideological meanings, in particular with the idea of traditional or folk music as a counterpoint to popular (i.e., commercial) music’.49 Politically, most folk bands and singer-songwriters were influenced by left-wing ideas while ‘the events of May 1968’ had a strong impact on the development of roots revivals. The left-wing orientation of folk artists was particularly evident in Germany, where the roots revival encountered a problem of legitimacy since Volkmusik was ‘destroyed’ by ‘the “kurzbehoste” [those dressed in short trousers] of the German youth groups and the armies of National Socialist soldiers and supporters’ through their ‘aggressive usage of the songs and the tradition’.50       Although the US and European roots revivals have—to a certain degree—triggered the emergence of Neo-Folk in the 1980s, apoliteic Neo-Folk bands apparently draw inspiration not from the 1970s left-wing protest folk songs, but rather from the previous folk revivals that took place at the end of the nineteenth and beginning of the twentieth centuries. These revivals varied throughout European countries. In Britain, for example, the phenomenon was associated with folk song collectors such as Cecil Sharp, Ralph Vaughan Williams and Lucy Broadwood, who endeavoured—quite successfully—to raise public appreciation of folk music and to ‘secure’ a distinctively English folk tradition.51 In Germany, the roots revival unfolded within various clubs and movements such as Der Wandervogel (the bird of passage). This movement began in 1896 ‘in reaction to aspects of bourgeois life and music aesthetics and presented a counterculture to the ubiquitous, harmony-singing Männergesangsvereine (“male choral societies”) of the late-nineteenth century’;52 it ‘aimed to reclaim a national identity for Germany, based upon its songs’.53 In Italy, one of the most famous folk song collectors was none other than Francesco Balilla Pratella, who withdrew from the Futurist movement after the First World War and dedicated the rest of his life to the traditional music of his native Romagna, ‘much to Marinetti’s disgust’.54 Revealingly, by moving from Futurist music to Italian traditional folk, Pratella anticipated the 1980s rise of Neo-Folk out of the Industrial milieu.            ‘Europe is dead’—’Looking for Europe’—’Europe, awake!’       Europe—or rather a highly mythologized and idealized concept of Europe—is central to the ethos of apoliteic music. In fact, Europe has long been a popular object of mythologization.55 A modernist statue in front of the European Parliament in Strasbourg features Europa as a woman sitting on a bull. The statue represents the ancient Greek myth of the abduction of Europa by lascivious Zeus disguised as a white bull. Over the centuries the myth has been the subject of thousands of works of art, but in modern times the idea of Europe has spawned even more interpretations: a bastion of Christianity, a part of the Free World, a vanguard of civilization, a place torn between the capitalist and socialist powers or, most recently, one divided by former US President George W. Bush into the Iraq-war-friendly ‘new Europe’ and the ‘old Europe’ that doubted the validity of the military campaign. These are mythological constructs applied to one and the same geographical region. Fascists, or Eurofascists, have constructed their own mythological Europe as a ‘homogeneous cultural entity or primordial racial community’.56 With regard to radical right-wing music, one can distinguish the three main lyrical and artistic themes alluded to in the title of this section: the death of Europe; Europe in the interregnum; and the rebirth of Europe.       Seen from the point of view of the Waldgänger, there are several causes of Europe’s death. It was, first of all, a consequence of the establishment of the New World Order, marked by the domination of liberal democratic values and the rejection of the fascist European myths. In an interview with the Anglo-Dutch apoliteic band H.E.R.R., one of the vocalists, Troy Southgate, who is also a prolific New Right author, states:                  In Europe … the twin profanities of Americanisation and liberal democracy are eating away at the very soul of our civilisation. Individualism has replaced individuality, economics are taking priority over ideas, and the mass consumer society rides roughshod over polytheism, identity and diversity.57             If liberal democracy is the enemy of European cultural identity, interpreted in fascist terms, then the 1945 Yalta conference—where the leaders of Britain, the United States and the USSR discussed the post-war reorganization of Europe���was clearly the time-point of the funeral march. Death in June makes this message clear:                  Sons of Europe Sick with liberalism Sons of Europe Chained with capitalism … On a marble slab in Yalta Mother Europe Was Slaughtered.58             Europe’s death (or, perhaps, its ‘mere’ decline) is also linked to the growing multiculturalism of European states. In his analysis of ‘the Euro-Pagan scene’, Stèphane François argues that such bands ‘condemn multicultural society, seen as the manifestation of the decline of European values and the victory of corrupting Western universalism’.59 Josef Maria Klumb of Von Thronstahl, one of the most influential and prolific apoliteic bands, unambiguously corroborates this notion:                  The so-called ‘multi-culturalism’… creates a mixed population without any real culture.… the ‘clash of cultures’ has already caused a lot of damage in big German cities, where you can see and feel the spenglerian ‘decline of the west’ simply by taking a walk through some streets.60             The Russian musician Ilya Kolerov (Wolfsblood) echoes Klumb’s concern for Europe’s cultural integrity. While he maintains that he likes ‘neither communism, nor Nazism, nor modern Jewish democracy’, Kolerov openly admits: ‘Maybe, I’m racist partly. I don’t want Moscow to be an Asian city. I want to see pure French or British on the streets of London or Paris.’61 Kolerov’s argument draws on the ‘new racist’ theories of ethnopluralism advanced by the European New Right and propagated in Russia by the ‘metapolitical fascist’ philosopher Aleksandr Dugin.62 The ethnopluralist theory champions ethno-cultural pluralism globally but is critical of cultural pluralism (multiculturalism) in any given society. By distorting a democratic call for the right of all peoples and cultures to be different,63 the theory thereby attempts to legitimize European exclusionism and the rejection of miscegenation. In ethnopluralist terms, the ‘“mixing of cultures” and the suppression of “cultural differences” would correspond to the intellectual death of humanity and would perhaps even endanger the control mechanisms that ensure its biological survival’.64       Toroidh, one of Henrik N. Björkk’s bands (apart from the now defunct Folkstorm), musically elaborates another explanation for Europe’s death in the European Trilogy. In an interview conducted by the British magazine Compulsion Online following the release of Europe Is Dead, the second part of the trilogy, Björkk tells readers: ‘The European Trilogy is all based upon the chaotic 20th century—the world wars, the ethnic conflicts and the dream of a united Europe. The Europe that conquered the old world, and colonized the new, and that passed away with the Second World War.’65 Björkk is presumably raising the spectre of the Eurofascist view of the lost ‘European civil war’ of the twentieth century, lost not to one European country or another but to non-fascists. In any case, Björkk’s ‘dream of a united Europe’ clearly has nothing to do with either the European Economic Community or the European Union but is, rather, of a united fascist Europe, a notion that was extremely popular within certain Italian Fascist and Nazi circles.66       The vision of a dead Europe is articulated not only in lyrics, song titles and artists’ interviews, but is also graphically expressed in album covers and artwork. In most cases the theme of Europe’s death is represented in mournful images of cemetery sculptures, doleful people with bent heads, dead soldiers and their personal belongings, abandoned battlefields and trenches. Of course, the featured images do not imply that a given album will—either musically or lyrically—focus exclusively on Europe’s death. Most apoliteic bands combine the three Europe-centred themes, although each theme does have its specific graphic representation.       The German band Darkwood has its own trilogy that deals with the ‘struggle of Europe’ (see Figure 1). The first part is entitled In the Fields,67 and its cover features a bas-relief of a sorrowful woman kneeling on one knee, her bent head in one hand and a flower in the other. The cover of the second part, Heimat & Jugend (Homeland and Youth),68 features an image from a Belgian graveyard. The third part, Flammende Welt (World in Flames),69 has on its cover another bas-relief, this one depicting a military medic presumably serving with the Axis forces (he wears a steel M35 helmet) holding his fallen or badly injured comrade.                        Figure 1. Covers of Darkwood’s trilogy on the ‘struggle of Europe’: In the Fields, Heimat & Jugend and Flammende Welt (reproduced with the kind permission of Henryk Vogel).                  Flammende Welt opens with the solemnly ominous instrumental track ‘For Europe’, and eventually concludes with the song ‘In Ruinen’, which undoubtedly alludes to Evola’s work Gli uomini e le rovine (literally ‘the men and the ruins’, but usually translated into English as Men among the Ruins), published in 1953,70 thus anticipating his 1961 Cavalcare la tigre. Henryk Vogel, the man behind Darkwood, comments: ‘the open end “In Ruins” is not just a state after the struggle of Europe but also a dark premonition of what is to come.… In the last song [In Ruinen], whispered vocals announce that there is to be a cultural resistance—which is necessary not only for Europe.’71 In another commentary on the song, Vogel ponders the post-war development of Europe and argues that ‘they decided for the Marshall plan and bought our souls with gold. But some souls cannot be bought, and a secret Europe lives on—as expressed in “In Ruinen”.’72 Similarly, Ian Read of the British band Fire + Ice replies to the question of whether he still believes in Europe: ‘The whole world is rapidly becoming all the same and this is painfully obvious in Europe which is rapidly losing any essence it had of old. In fact, this spirit only remains in certain special people who foster it.’73       For fascists, ‘a secret Europe’ is hidden in the interregnum, while the Europe of the ‘deadly’ liberal democratic order and of ‘homogenizing’ multicultural society triumphs. Those who feel devastated by the alleged loss of an old Europe of aristocratic hierarchy, organic ethnic-cultural community, sacrifice and heroism have nothing for it but to ‘retreat into the forest’ and find the answer to the current situation there.                  He walked to the forest, to the lair of the wolf Said: ‘I’m looking for Europe, I’ll tell you the truth.’ Some find it in a flag, some in the beat of a drum Some with a book, and some with a gun Some in a kiss, and some on the march But if you’re looking for Europe, best look in your heart.74             References to Ernst Jünger are everywhere in the texts and images of apoliteic music. At least two Neo-Folk bands dedicated their albums to the German writer: Sagittarius (Die Große Marina),75 and Lady Morphia (Recitals to Renewal).76 The latter album features a track called ‘The Retreat into the Forest’ in which a male singer recites an extract from the English translation of Jünger’s Der Waldgang. In 2001 the German label Thaglasz, which evolved from a Death in June fan club, released the truly pan-European three-LP compilation entitled Der Waldgänger.77 As might be expected, most of the tracks are named after Jünger’s novels and essays, and some have titles that reflect a certain elaboration of the ideas expressed in his above-mentioned essay: This Morn’ Omina’s ‘Innere Emigration’ (inner emigration), Luftwaffe’s ‘A Solitary Order’ and Von Thronstahl’s thought-provoking ‘Waldgang & Apoliteia’.       Von Thronstahl, whose music, in Klumb’s own words, ‘reflects the longing for the true European identity and soul’, ‘our secret home that is Europa’,78 demonstrates the most acute perspicacity regarding ‘metapolitical fascism’. One of the band’s tracks is called ‘Interregnum’ and it is featured on the split album Pessoa/Cioran,79 dedicated to Fernando Pessoa and Emil Cioran. Pessoa was a Portuguese modernist poet who blended ‘an elite nationalistic sentiment, which favoured authoritarian leaders, with certain strains of avant-garde poetics and anticlerical mysticism’.80 Although sometimes sarcastically critical of Salazar’s Estado Novo (especially after it outlawed secret organizations like the Freemasons and Rosicrucians), Pessoa actually embraced it and, in 1936, a year after his death, the government republished some poems from his Mensagem (Message) (1933) to celebrate the anniversary of the regime.81 Cioran was a Romanian-born philosopher who, in the course of the 1930s, sympathized with both the Italian and German fascist regimes, as well as being close to the Romanian fascist movement Iron Guard, also known as the Legion of the Archangel Michael.82 The leader of the Iron Guard, Corneliu Codreanu, was also honoured with a special double-CD compilation, Codreanu: Eine Erinnerung an den Kampf (Codreanu: a reminiscence of the struggle),83 that featured many Neo-Folk and Martial Industrial artists.       Thematic compilations are important media for the expression of the idea of Europe in the interregnum. Musical tributes to individuals (often genuine icons for both neo-fascists and ‘metapolitical fascists’), such as Ernst Jünger, Corneliu Codreanu, Julius Evola,84 Leni Riefenstahl,85 Arno Breker,86 and Friedrich Hielscher,87 reveal that these figures—in one way or another associated with fascism—are true exponents of the Europe now dead and, by contributing their pieces to these compilations, apoliteic artists reconfirm their allegiance to the principles of ‘organic Europa’. The sentiment and perception of the interregnum is, perhaps, best described in Death in June’s ‘Runes and Men’ (another allusion to Evola’s Gli uomini e le rovine):                  Then my loneliness closes in      So, I drink a German wine      And drift in dreams of other lives      And greater times.88             The specific stylistic expression of the theme of the interregnum lies outside the realm of music itself. While one may rightfully consider that the images of ruins featured on album covers and/or booklets refer to the theme of Europe’s death, it seems more reasonable—given Evola’s overwhelming popularity among apoliteic artists—to link such images to the theme of the interregnum. The same applies to images of forests. Of course, when artists illustrate their albums with such images (sometimes the artists themselves are portrayed on them), it is possible to conclude that they simply like forests. One can also interpret forests as symbols of enduring organic rootedness and/or voluntary dissociation from modernity’s stunning decadence and decay. Both explanations are legitimate and most likely correct in many cases. However, the legacy of Jünger, whose ghost haunts the Neo-Folk/Martial Industrial scene, cannot be ignored; thus, the images of forests may very well be alluding to the idea of the ‘retreat into the forest’ that signifies existence during the interregnum.       The idea of the rebirth (palingenesis) of Europe is an important integral element of Europe-centred apoliteic music. This notion implies that, despite Europe’s death, followed by an indefinite interregnum during which the ‘aristocrats of the soul’ are forced to undertake the Waldgang, a fairy (or, rather, eerie) Europe of ‘metapolitical fascists’ will inevitably be reborn. The German band Belborn inserted this idea in metaphorical form into a song called ‘Phoenix’:                  In dieser kalten Welt aus Eis Sind wir das Feuer das bewahrt Die Wahrheit in des Wesens Kern Den Schöpfungsgeist in Wort und Tat. Vogel aus der Götter Hand Hebe uns empor Setze die Welt in Brand.89       In this cold world of ice We are the fire that keeps The truth in the essential seed The creative spirit in word and deed. Bird from the gods’ own hands Raises us upwards Sets the world on fire.             Reflecting on Europe’s ‘spiritual rebirth’ in an interview with the Romanian magazine Letters from the Nuovo Europae, Belborn, however, denied Europe’s death, maintaining that she was only sleeping: ‘No need to give birth to something again that was never dead! Europa is only sleeping at the moment because the sandman was and is too busy. Europe awake!!!’90 In any case, both ideas—Europe’s rebirth and her awakening—are mythological metaphors that reveal the palingenetic thrust of apoliteic music. Troy Southgate’s band Seelenlicht conveys this by quoting Hermann Hesse’s Demian (1960) on the inlay cover of their album Gods and Devils: ‘The bird struggles out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever wants to be born, must first destroy a world.’91 Besides the similarity of the bird metaphors in these texts from Belborn’s and Seelenlicht’s albums, both of them point to the death of the actual order that will usher in a new one. In this context, the required demise is not of ‘organic Europa’ but of the present ‘McWorld’ of liberal democracy. This connotation of the notion of palingenesis is effectively articulated by Howard Williams in his article on Immanuel Kant’s employment of the terms ‘metamorphosis’ and ‘palingenesis’: ‘Where a palingenetic change takes place, the existing structure takes on a wholly inappropriate guise, which is out of keeping with the true nature of the organism. Here the birth of a new structure can only take place with the completed death of the old.’92       Thus, it is not a coincidence that, for example, the US band Luftwaffe associates palingenesis with Kalki, a Hindu goddess who is to end the present age (Kali Yuga) of decadence and decay, in ‘Kalki’s Army’:                  We’ll tear this world to shreds We’ll rip your world to shreds Your corporations will burn Your institutions will burn Your churches will burn Your flag will burn You will burn!… Within the Meta-Kronosphere This moment is decried You would have thought Your actions were your own But history has moved your hand Now history has given us this day The dark ages are over Our age is come.93             The association of palingenesis with Kalki can be traced back to the writings of the French Nazi mystic Maximiani Portaz, better known as Savitri Devi. During the years of the Third Reich she actively propagated a belief that Hitler was an avatar of Kalki, destined to crush ‘the combined dark age forces of Jewry, Marxism, and international capitalism’.94 The impact of Devi’s writings on neo-Nazism as well as ‘metapolitical fascism’ is considerable. The German apoliteic band Turbund Sturmwerk cites her The Lightning and the Sun (1958) on the back cover of their eponymous album: ‘Never mind how bloody the final crash may be!… We are waiting for it [and for] the triumph of all those men who, throughout centuries and today, have never lost the vision of the everlasting Order, decreed by the Sun …’95 This ‘leitmotif’—of course, not always a result of the adoption of Devi’s (c)ravings—recurs repeatedly in the lyrics and interviews of apoliteic artists. Henryk Vogel, for instance, assumes that ‘it’s possible that everything will crumble to dust and a new generation will rise from the ashes of the materialistic system to install a new order of splendour and light’.96       Interestingly enough, the idea of Europe’s rebirth also reveals itself through the names of the labels that release—almost exclusively—apoliteic music. In 1981 Douglas Pearce founded New European Recordings, whose discography includes the albums of his band (Death in June), as well as other acts like Boyd Rice and Friends, Fire + Ice, TeHÔM and Strength through Joy.97 In 2002 the Belgian label Neuropa Records was established to release albums by such bands as Toroidh, Horologium, Un Défi d’Honneur (also known as A Challenge of Honour), Levoi Pravoi, Oda Relicta and others.       It is worth noting that the word ‘palingenesis’ itself gained currency in the apoliteic milieu. What is even more important is that it is interpreted by conscientious fans in a ‘metapolitical fascist’ sense, even if the term does not actually appear. See, for example, a review of the instrumental track ‘Palingenesis’, composed by the Swedish Martial Industrial band Arditi, for the flavour both of this kind of intuitive apoliteic interpretation and of Martial Industrial music:                  ‘Palingenesis’ begins with bombastic drumming that immediately ignites the soul. The drums echo forth from the speakers with incredible definition and depth. A snare drum joins the thundering kettle drums adding dimension and lends a definitive martial tone to the song. Solemn synths contribute a sense of atmosphere that is quite cold and resigned. ‘Palingenesis’ paints a mental picture of soldiers lined up ready to march forth into battle, resigned to their fates, and bound by honor and blood.98             H.E.R.R. reproduces almost the same ‘mental picture’ in their song ‘A New Rome’:                  Marching through the rain We are soldiers again We are raised from the fields With our swords and our shields… A city to win With the sun on our skin We failed in the past But today she will last.99             Military imagery is unsurprisingly one of the most widely employed stylistic elements of apoliteic music. When such acts and artists as Death in June, Boyd Rice, Dernière Volonté, Les Joyaux de la Princesse and Krepulec dress in military or quasi-military uniforms for performances or promotional photographs, they emphasize their musical and lyrical image as ‘cultural soldiers’ who keep the flag flying in the fight against ‘the age of decay and democrazy [sic]’, as the title of one of Von Thronstahl’s songs has it.            Eschewing profane politics for spiritual warfare       In 1996 the German New Right weekly newspaper Junge Freiheit published a short article on new musical trends.                  Germany became the centre of a musical culture rooted in the anti-modern currents of the ‘Gothic’ … scene. Romanticizing pathos and archaic might (archaische Gewalt), the music ranges from, at one end, classically inflected melodies to, at the other, rough Industrial. This mixture contains an explosive force, of which those in the musical mainstream who stand guard over the old tradition should beware. If the mythical and irrational, as well as the desire for anti-Enlightenment introspection and living transcendence, find a voice in youth culture, the aesthetic consensus of the West will be broken.100             This article was possibly the very first attempt to get Neo-Folk/Martial Industrial artists involved in the ‘right-wing Gramscian’ struggle for cultural hegemony. From then on, Junge Freiheit has been publishing interviews with apoliteic artists and enthusiastic album reviews. In France, however, the reception of Neo-Folk/Martial Industrial music by New Right thinkers has been ambivalent. For example, the leader of the French New Right, Alain de Benoist, who actually enjoys folk music, finds it disturbing when folk artists (like Death in June) add ‘elements of Nazi subculture’ to their music, and considers them provocateurs. In his turn, Christian Bouchet, the founder of Nouvelle Résistance (New Resistance), embraces what I am calling apoliteic music, as opposed to White Noise.101 The Russian New Right, associated first and foremost with Aleksandr Dugin’s neo-Eurasianist organizations, especially the Ievraziiskii Soyuz Molodezhi (ESM, Eurasian Youth Union), takes a favourable view of      apoliteic music, and a leader of the local ESM branch in Kazan even owns a small company (Arcto Promo) that organizes music festivals—called ‘Finis Mundi’102 —that sometimes feature apoliteic bands. The British case is more straightforward as Troy Southgate, the leader of the British New Right and the founder of the National Anarchist group, is an apoliteic artist himself. He is also the editor of the New Right journal Synthesis: Journal du Cercle de la Rose Noire,103 in which he publishes, inter alia, his reviews of Neo-Folk/Martial Industrial albums.       Significantly, all the movements and groups that, in one way or another, turn to Neo-Folk/Martial Industrial bands in an attempt to infiltrate certain youth subcultures are metapolitical, rather than political. These organizations then eventually find they have more in common with the musical bands than with genuinely political parties, movements or even violent neo-fascist groups. Similar to the apoliteic musicians, who ‘function as a kind of metapolitical reference point for those people who find themselves disillusioned with the state of the modern world’,104 these New Right groups focus on the cultural terrain in their attempt to influence society and make it more susceptible to undemocratic and authoritarian ways of thinking.       Of course, there are exceptions. Troy Southgate was once a member of the NF, but he left the organization long before he started participating in musical ‘metapolitical fascist’ projects. Anthony (Tony) Wakeford of Sol Invictus was also a member of the NF and, in 2007, he wrote a repentant message for his website stating that he had had no interest in or sympathy for the ideas of the NF for about twenty years, and that joining the organization had probably been ‘the worse decision of [his] life and one [he] very much regret[ted]’.105 Furthermore, the possibility that a few apoliteic musicians are members of radical or extreme right-wing political organizations can’t be ruled out, but it is crucial that such membership be kept secret and not paraded.       The reason why apoliteic artists avoid involvement in outright right-wing political activities does not so much reflect concern for their reputations (although they do value them), as the lack of correspondence between ‘spiritual warfare’ and ‘profane politics’. For instance, members of the Russian Neo-Folk act Ritual Front, who define the concept of the band as ‘Tradition, antiquity, modernity, Gods, death, life, war, struggle, warrior’s path’, at the same time disdainfully state: ‘We are neither an Oi-band nor participants in the skinhead underground who are engaged in politics directly!’106 Both radical right-wing political parties and racist/neo-Nazi groupuscules also seem contemptuous of ‘spiritual revivalists’, who would most likely refuse to play at campaigning concerts or to call for getting rid of ‘racial enemies’.       The question, however, remains as to whether apoliteic bands can function as instruments for popularizing and promoting genuine fascist ideas, the adoption of which can eventually lead their listeners to contribute to the political cause, even if such bands—perhaps honestly—do not mean to. The answer, beyond any doubt, is ‘yes’. Music is a powerful instrument of (mis)education: the idealization of fascism, while over-emphasizing its ‘values’ and deliberately concealing (and even normalizing) its crimes and genocidal practices throughout the interwar period and the Second World War, effectively contributes to a misreading of modern history, especially by conscientious fans. We can only conjecture as to whether an individual will be satisfied with just ‘drifting in dreams of other lives and greater times’ or will eventually become involved in attempts at the practical implementation of those ‘dreams’.       Censoring or banning apoliteic music, however, is undesirable in a democratic society as well as ultimately impossible. ‘Metapolitical fascists’ are keen on using cryptic language and codified symbolic metaphors. On what grounds could one ban artists for using the words like ‘apoliteia’, ‘Waldgang’, ‘interregnum’ or ‘palingenesis’? Or pictures of runes/ruins? The sounds of ‘the orchestra of a great battle’? Eurocentric imagery? On the other hand, how effective are civil society protests or boycotts? Apparently these activities only make martyrs of apoliteic artists and strengthen—if only in the eyes of their fans—their image as righteous fighters for an ‘organic Europe’.       In the context of this problem, which itself requires its own discussion, it may be interesting and informative to learn the opinion of Eric Roger of the popular French band Gaë Bolg, which is seen as part of the Neo-Folk/Martial Industrial scene, but cannot be considered apoliteic.                  Most of the promoters in the [Neo-Folk/Martial Industrial] scene have organized, or continue to organize, concerts of the right-wing bands. Some of these promoters are ‘dodgy’, while the others are completely ‘clean’, they’re just interested in music and don’t care about political issues. How is it possible to distinguish between ‘clean’ people (oh, I hate the word ‘clean’, it has a bad smell of witch-hunting!) and the ‘unclean’, if you don’t know people personally? Or should we refuse all the concerts organized by people who have ever organised ‘bad’ concerts in their life?            If we (I mean the bands who are against the right-wing ideology) categorically refuse to play at the festivals that feature right-wing bands, don’t we give them more space? In this case, our withdrawal would only help them propagate their ideology, isn’t it nonsense? Isn’t it better to stay in order to affirm our opposition? But if I say that, isn’t it somewhat hypocritical? Isn’t it a sort of compromising? Isn’t it an excuse we find to accept our ‘tolerance’, the same tolerance we loudly condemn in other cases?            At the same time, I really and deeply think that it’s important that we stay and that we don’t leave an empty place to the right-wingers.107                  Acknowledgements       I would like to thank the musicians Ivan Napreenko and Eric Roger, who advised me and commented on a draft of this article. I am also grateful to the anonymous reviewers, as well as to Anna Melyantsev and Vickie Hudson, who were kind enough to proofread. Mistakes, however, are solely my own.            Notes            1 Translated and quoted in Britta Sweers, ‘The power to influence minds: German folk music during the Nazi era and after’, in Annie Janeiro Randall (ed.), Music, Power, and Politics (New York: Routledge 2005), 65-86 (68).      2 Folkstorm, Victory or Death (Northampton: Cold Spring Records 2000). The name of the band is a translation of the German Volkssturm, which was the name of the Nazi militia founded by Adolf Hitler in October 1944.      3 The Reichsadler (imperial eagle) is a German national insignia. In 1933 the Nazis introduced the image of an eagle atop an oak wreath with a swastika at its centre.      4 Totenkopf, ‘Can’t Be Beaten’, on Various Artists, White Pride World Wide III (Stockholm: Nordland Records 1996).      5 ’White Noise’ is the term that has been used for neo-Nazi rock music since the early 1980s. This type of music is explicitly designed to inspire racially or politically motivated violence.      6 Death in June, Rose Clouds of Holocaust (London: New European Recordings 1995). The BPjM found that the title song from the album cast doubt on the occurrence of the Holocaust. The lyrics in question are as follows: ‘Rose clouds of Holocaust/ Rose clouds of lies/ Rose clouds of bitter/ Bitter, bitter lies’. Although in his explanatory memorandum Douglas Pearce, the man behind Death in June, stated that he ‘[did] not deny the existence of The Holocaust’, the record was banned: posted on the Death in June website, 14 February 2006, at www.deathinjune.org/modules/news/article.php?storyid=70 (viewed 8 August 2009).      7 After Stuart’s death in a car crash in 1993, the network was taken over by Combat 18, a neo-Nazi paramilitary group. See Nicholas Goodrick-Clarke,      Black Sun: Aryan Cults, Esoteric Nazism, and the Politics of Identity (New York: New York University Press 2002), 195.      8 It is important to note that Oi! was originally associated with working-class left-wing populism, but later was taken up by ideologically diverse bands, ranging from anti-fascist and radical left-wing to fascist and racist ones.      9 See Nick Lowles and Steve Silver (eds), White Noise: Inside the International Nazi Skinhead Scene (London: Searchlight 1998); John M. Cotter, ‘Sounds of hate: White Power rock and roll and the neo-Nazi skinhead subculture’, Terrorism and Political Violence, vol. 11, no. 2, 1999, 111-40. Due to the similarity in form and content, the term ‘White Noise’ is synonymous with the term ‘White Power’ and they are generally used interchangeably. See also Goodrick-Clarke, Black Sun, ch. 10 (‘White Noise and Black Metal’), 193-212; Robert Futrell, Pete Simi and Simon Gottschalk, ‘Understanding music in movements: the White Power music scene’, Sociological Quarterly, vol. 47, no. 2, 2006, 275-304; and Ugo Corte and Bob Edwards, ‘White Power music and the mobilization of racist social movements’, Music and Arts in Action (online journal), vol. 1, no. 1, 2008, 4-20, at www.musicandartsinaction.net/index.php/maia/article/view/whitepowermusic/9 (viewed 8 August 2009).      10 ’88’ stands for ‘Heil Hitler’, as ‘H’ is the eighth letter in the Latin alphabet, ‘NS’ is an acronym for National Socialism, and ‘RaHoWa’ stands for ‘racial holy war’.      11 On NSBM, see Goodrick-Clarke, Black Sun, 193-212; Justin Massa, ‘Unholy alliance: the National Socialist Black Metal underground’, in Devin Burghart (ed.), Soundtracks to the White Revolution: White Supremacist Assaults on Youth Subcultures (Chicago: Center for New Community 1999), 49-64; and Keith Kahn-Harris, Extreme Metal: Music and Culture on the Edge (Oxford and New York: Berg 2007).      12 On Right-Wing Rock in German, see Christian Dornbusch and Jan Raabe, RechtsRock: Bestandsaufnahme und Gegenstrategien (Münster: Unrast 2002); Mahmut Kural, Rechtsrock—Einstiegsdroge in rechtsextremes Gedankengut? (Saarbrücken: VDM Verlag 2007); Bundesministerium des Innern (ed.), Verfassungsschutzbericht 2006 (Berlin: Bundesministerium des Innern 2007); and Georg Brunner, ‘Rezeption und Wirkung von Rechtsrock’, in BPjM Aktuell, no. 1, 2007, 3-18.      13 See Michael Wade, ‘Johnny Rebel and the Cajun roots of Right-Wing Rock’, Popular Music and Society, vol. 30, no. 4, 2007, 493-512; Thomas Irmer, ‘Out with the right! Or, let’s not let them in again’, trans. from the German by Claudia Wilsch, Theater, vol. 32, no. 3, 2002, 61-7; and Walter Laqueur, Fascism: Past, Present, Future (New York: Oxford University Press 1996), 134.      14 BPjM, ‘Jugendgefährdung: Lesemedien & Hörmedien’, Bundesprüfstelle für jugendgefährdende Medien, available on the BPjM website at www.bundespruefstelle.de/bmfsfj/generator/bpjm/Jugendmedienschutz-Medienerziehung/Lese-Hoermedien/jugendgefaehrdung.html (viewed 8 August 2009). Translations, unless otherwise stated, are by the author.      15 Ibid.      16 There is a distinction in German law between extremism and radicalism. Criticism of capitalism, and fundamental doubts about the structure of Germany’s economic and social order are perceived as radical but not extremist. In its turn, extremism is identified as an attempt to undermine the foundations of the German Basic Law, namely, the liberal democratic order. While extremism—whether right-wing or left-wing—is unlawful in Germany, radical political beliefs have a legitimate place in Germany’s pluralistic society. See Heinz Fromm (ed.), Aufgaben, Befugnisse, Grenzen (Cologne: Bundesamt für Verfassungsschutz, Presse- und Öffentlichkeitsarbeit 2002), 25. The distinction between extremism and radicalism can help explain why the BPjM ‘extremizes’ Rechtsrock.      17 See Roger Griffin (ed.), International Fascism: Theories, Causes and the New Consensus (London: Arnold 1998).      18 Roger Griffin, Modernism and Fascism: The Sense of a Beginning under Mussolini and Hitler (Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan 2007), 181.      19 Roger Griffin, ‘Grey cats, blue cows, and wide awake groundhogs: notes towards the development of a “deliberative ethos”‘, in Roger Griffin, Werner Loh and Andreas Umland (eds), Fascism Past and Present, West and East: An International Debate on Concepts and Cases in the Comparative Study of the Extreme Right (Stuttgart and Hanover: ibidem 2006), 428.      20 Emilio Gentile, ‘Fascism, totalitarianism and political religion: definitions and critical reflections on criticism of an interpretation’, Totalitarian Movements and Political Religions, vol. 5, no. 3, 2004, 326-75 (338-9). On no account is this an attempt to normalize fascism—whether as a regime or just a movement—or downplay the atrocities committed by fascists in their mission to renew ‘the organic national community’. The inhuman terror unleashed by fascism is straightforwardly depicted in—among others—the 1985 Soviet film Idi i smotri (Come and See), which I urge concerned readers to see.      21 Roger Griffin, ‘From slime mould to rhizome: an introduction to the groupuscular right’, Patterns of Prejudice, vol. 37, no. 1, 2003, 38.      22 Roger Griffin, ‘From slime mould to rhizome: an introduction to the groupuscular right’, Patterns of Prejudice, vol. 37, no. 1, 2003, 38.      23 Armin Mohler, Die konservative Revolution in Deutschland 1918-1932: Grundriss ihrer Weltanschauungen (Stuttgart: F. Vorwerk 1950).      24 Julius Evola, Cavalcare la tigre (Milan: All’insegna del pesce d’oro 1961). All references here are to a later edition: Julius Evola, Cavalcare la tigre: orientamenti esistenziali per un’epoca della dissoluzione (Rome: Edizioni Mediterranee 2004).      25 Evola, Cavalcare la tigre, 150-2. The source of the phrase ‘aristocrat of the soul’ 2003 is the English translation, which also translates l’uomo differenziato literally as ‘the differentiated man’: Julius Evola, Ride the Tiger: A Survival Manual for the Aristocrats of the Soul, trans. from the Italian by Joscelyn Godwin and Constance Fontana (Rochester, VT: Inner Traditions 2003).      26 See Roger Griffin, ‘Between metapolitics and apoliteia: the Nouvelle Droite’s strategy for conserving the fascist vision in the “interregnum”‘, Modern & Contemporary France, vol. 8, no. 1, 2000, 35-53.      27 On the ENR, see Tamir Bar-On, Where Have All the Fascists Gone? (Aldershot, Hampshire: Ashgate 2007); Alberto Spektorowski, ‘The New Right: ethno-regionalism, ethno-pluralism and the emergence of a neo-fascist “Third Way”‘, Journal of Political Ideologies, vol. 8, no. 1, 2003, 111-30; Roger Griffin, ‘Interregnum or endgame? The radical right in the “post-fascist” era’, Journal of Political Ideologies, vol. 5, no. 2, 2000, 163-78; and Griffin, ‘Between metapolitics and apoliteia’.      28 Spektorowski, ‘The New Right’, 120.      29 Ralph D. Grillo, ‘Cultural essentialism and cultural anxiety’, Anthropological Theory, vol. 3, no. 2, 2003, 157-73 (163).      30 On this new (cultural) racism, see first and foremost Pierre-André Taguieff, ‘The new cultural racism in France’, Telos, no. 83, 1990, 109-22; Pierre-André Taguieff, ‘From race to culture: the New Right’s view of European identity’, Telos, no. 98-9, 1993-4, 99-125; Etienne Balibar, ‘Is there a “new racism”?’, in Etienne Balibar and Immanuel Wallerstein, Race, Nation, Class: Ambiguous Identities (London and New York: Verso 1991), 17-28.      31 Roger Griffin, ‘Fascism’s new faces (and new facelessness) in the “post-fascist” epoch’, in Griffin, Loh and Umland (eds), Fascism Past and Present, 51.      32 One should distinguish between common fans who appreciate the actual musical side of the art under scrutiny, while rejecting or simply ignoring its ideological message (if any), and conscientious fans who are drawn both by the art and its ideological message, enthusiastically embraced.      33 Ernst Jünger, Der Waldgang (Frankfurt on Main: Klostermann 1951). References here are to the abridged English translation: Ernst Jünger, ‘Retreat into the forest’, Confluence, vol. 3, no. 2, 1954, 127-42 (Confluence was edited in 1954 by its founder Henry Kissinger).      34 Evola was an admirer of Jünger, and his reflections on the latter’s Der Arbeiter were published as Julius Evola, L’ ‘Operaio’ nel pensiero di Ernst Jünger (Rome: Armando Armando Editore 1960). It is debatable whether Evola’s speculations on apoliteia were actually inspired by Jünger’s Der Waldgang, but the Italian baron was known for apparently hijacking (plagiarizing?) the ideas of other authors. For example, Evola’s 1928 work Imperialismo pagano drew heavily on Reghini’s 1914 essay of the same name: Arturo Reghini, ‘Imperialismo pagano’, Salamandra, no. 14, 1914. A year after Evola had published his Imperialismo pagano, he accused Reghini of being a member of a Masonic lodge (Mussolini dissolved and banned Freemasonry in Italy in 1925), and tried to sue him on those grounds.      35 Jünger experienced war firsthand: during the First World War he served in the Imperial German army and returned from the battlefield decorated with the Iron Cross First Class and the Pour le Mérite, which was the highest military order of the German empire.      36 Griffin, Modernism and Fascism, 165.      37 Jünger, ‘Retreat into the forest’, 129. For Griffin’s extensive use of the metaphor of the Titanic to evoke the modernist sense of a ‘new beginning’ or Aufbruch in history, see his introduction to Modernism and Fascism.      38 Jünger, ‘Retreat into the forest’, 141.      39 Jünger, ‘Retreat into the forest’, 135. Here one may want to consider the possible influence of Martin Heidegger, Holzwege (Woodpaths) (Frankfurt on Main: Klostermann 1950) on the development of Jünger’s concept of the Waldgang. On Heidegger, in the context of the current study, see Matthew Feldman, ‘Between Geist and Zeitgeist: Martin Heidegger as ideologue of “metapolitical fascism”‘, Totalitarian Movements and Political Religions, vol. 6, no. 2, 2005, 175-98.      40 Ibid., 132 (emphasis in the original). This vision of redemptive myth resurfacing in a moment of danger is reminiscent of Walter Benjamin’s statement in his ‘Theses on the philosophy of history. VI’ (unpublished when Jünger was writing) that the truly and, hence, redemptive historical engagement with reality means to ‘seize hold of a memory as it flashes up at a moment of danger’: Walter Benjamin, ‘Theses on the philosophy of history’, in Walter Benjamin, Illuminations, ed. Hannah Arendt, trans. from the German by Harry Zohn (London: Fontana 1992), 247.      41 Jünger, ‘Retreat into the forest’, 132 (emphasis in the original).      42 Again, it should be stressed that I neither equate apoliteic music with Neo-Folk and Martial Industrial nor identify them as ‘fascist genres’. ‘Metapolitical fascism’ and the two genres, as musical styles, do overlap—to a lesser extent in the case of Neo-Folk—but Neo-Folk/Martial Industrial artists can create non-apoliteic art, while ‘metapolitical fascists’ can find other musical means to communicate their message.      43 Evola, Cavalcare la tigre, 139.      44 Peter Webb, Exploring the Networked Worlds of Popular Music: Milieu Cultures (London and New York: Routledge 2007), 60; Stéphane François, La Musique europaïenne: ethnographie politique d’une subculture de droite (Paris: Harmattan 2006).      45 The history of Industrial music is well described in three non-academic books: Simon Ford, Wreckers of Civilisation: The Story of Coum Transmissions & Throbbing Gristle (London: Black Dog 1999); Vivian Vale and Andrea Juno (eds), Re/Search #6/7: Industrial Culture Handbook (San Francisco: V/Search 1983); and David Keenan, England’s Hidden Reverse: Coil, Current 93, Nurse with Wound: A Secret History of the Esoteric Underground (London: SAF Publishing 2003). For a scholarly view of the history of Industrial music, see Karen E. Collins, ‘“The Future Is Happening Already”: Industrial Music, Dystopia and the Aesthetic of the Machine’, Ph.D. thesis, University of Liverpool, 2002; and Paul Hegarty, Noise/Music:      A History (New York: Continuum 2007).      46 Collins, ‘“The Future Is Happening Already”‘, 9.      47 Luigi Russolo, The Art of Noise (Futurist Manifesto, 1913), trans. from the Italian by Robert Filliou (New York: Ubu Classics 2004), 7. L’Art des bruits was written in the form of a letter to ‘Balilla Pratella, great futurist musician’.      48 The ideological correlation between Futurism and Fascism is the subject of a thorough analysis in Griffin, Modernism and Fascism.      49 Britta Sweers, Electric Folk: The Changing Face of English Traditional Music (Oxford and New York: Oxford University Press 2005), 25.      50 Kirsten Kearney, ‘Constructing the Nation: The Role of the Ballad in Twentieth Century German National Identity with Special Reference to Scotland’, Ph.D. thesis, University of Stirling, 2007, 194. On the use of German folk music by the Nazis, see also Sweers, ‘The power to influence minds’.      51 See Richard Sykes, ‘The evolution of Englishness in the English folksong revival, 1890-1914’, Folk Music Journal, vol. 6, no. 4, 1993, 446-90; and Georgina Boyes, The Imagined Village: Culture, Ideology, and the English Folk Revival (Manchester and New York: Manchester University Press 1993).      52 Sweers, ‘The power to influence minds’, 67.      53 Kearney, ‘Constructing the Nation’, 140.      54 Benjamin Thorn, ‘Francesco Balilla Pratella (1880-1955)’, in Larry Sitsky (ed.), Music of the Twentieth-century Avant-garde: A Biocritical Sourcebook (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press 2002), 380.      55 See Kevin Wilson and Jan van der Dussen (eds), The History of the Idea of Europe (London and New York: Routledge 1995); and Peter H. Gommers, Europe, What’s in a Name (Leuven: Leuven University Press 2001).      56 On the Eurofascists’ idea of Europe, see Roger Griffin, ‘“Europe for the Europeans”: fascist myths of the European new order 1922-1992’, in Roger Griffin, A Fascist Century: Essays by Roger Griffin, ed. Matthew Feldman (Basingstoke and New York: Palgrave Macmillan 2008), 132-80.      57 Malahki Thorn, ‘H.E.R.R. interview: hopes die in winter’, Heathen Harvest (webzine), 4 March 2005, at www.heathenharvest.com/article.php?story=20050304171250371 (viewed 12 August 2009). On Troy Southgate, see Graham D. Macklin, ‘Co-opting the counter culture: Troy Southgate and the National Revolutionary Faction’, Patterns of Prejudice, vol. 39, no. 3, 2005, 301-26. Southgate frequently contributes vocals and/or lyrics to various apoliteic bands, including Seelenlicht, Horologium, The Days of the Trumpet Call and Sagittarius.      58 Death in June, ‘Sons of Europe’, on Burial (London: Leprosy Discs 1984).      59 Stéphane François, ‘The Euro-Pagan scene: between paganism and radical right’, trans. from the French by Ariel Godwin, Journal for the Study of Radicalism, vol. 1, no. 2, 2007, 35-54 (48). Actually, my concept of apoliteic music is very close to François’s ‘Euro-Pagan’ music, characterized by ‘praise of an ethnic European paganism, often marked by conservative revolutionary ideas’ (37). I don’t use François’s term (even inevitably redefined) in this article because not all apoliteic musicians and bands are adherents of heathen cults. Some have declared themselves to be Christians, while others are followers of the esoteric teaching of ‘integral Traditionalism’ or atheists. However, the musical acts mentioned in both articles coincide to a considerable degree.      60 Malahki Thorn, ‘Von Thronstahl interview: the search for truth’, Heathen Harvest (webzine), 7 December 2005, at www.heathenharvest.com/article.php?story=20051207145142661 (viewed 12 August 2009).      61 Malahki Thorn, ‘Wolfsblood interview: spiritual death’, Heathen Harvest (webzine), 15 February 2005, at http://www.heathenharvest.com/article.php?story=20050215151635652 (viewed 12 August 2009).      62 Anton Shekhovtsov, ‘Aleksandr Dugin’s neo-Eurasianism: the New Right à la Russe’, Religion Compass (online journal), vol. 3, no. 4, 2009, 696-716, at www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1749-8171.2009.00158.x (viewed 1 September 2009); Anton Shekhovtsov, ‘The palingenetic thrust of Russian neo-Eurasianism: ideas of rebirth in Aleksandr Dugin’s worldview’, Totalitarian Movements and Political Religions, vol. 9, no. 4, 2008, 491-506; Andreas Umland, ‘Der “Neoeurasismus” des Aleksandr Dugin. Zur Rolle des integralen Traditionalismus und der Orthodoxie für die russische “Neue Rechte”‘, in Margarete Jäger and Jürgen Link (eds), Macht—Religion—Politik: Zur Renaissance religiöser Praktiken und Mentalitäten (Münster: Unrast 2006), 141-57.      63 See United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples (New York: United Nations 2008), 1-2, available on the UN website at www.un.org/esa/socdev/unpfii/documents/DRIPS_en.pdf (viewed 12 August 2009).      64 Balibar, ‘Is there a “new racism”?’, 22.      65 ’Toroidh—Europe Is Dead’, Compulsion Online, n.d., at www.compulsiononline.com/falbum6.htm (viewed 12 August 2009).      66 See Griffin, ‘“Europe for the Europeans”‘.      67 Darkwood, In the Fields (Dresden: Heidenvolk 1999).      68 Darkwood, Heimat & Jugend (Dresden: Heidenvolk 2000).      69 Darkwood, Flammende Welt (Dresden: Heidenvolk 2001).      70 Julius Evola, Gli uomini e le rovine (Roma: Edizioni dell’Ascia 1953).      71 ’Darkwood—interview with Henryk Vogel’, Heimdallr (webzine), January 2002, at www.heimdallr.ch/Interviews/2002/darkwoodinterview.html (viewed 12 August 2009).      72 Malahki Thorn, ‘Darkwood interview: the dusk draws near’, Heathen Harvest (webzine), 22 December 2005, at www.heathenharvest.com/article.php?story=20051222124738204 (viewed 12 August 2009) (emphasis added).      73 Miguel Do Vale, ‘An interview with Ian Read’, Heimdallr (webzine), November 2001, at www.heimdallr.ch/Interviews/2001/fire.html (viewed 12 August 2009) (emphasis added).      74 Sol Invictus, ‘Looking for Europe’, on Trees in Winter (London: Tursa 1990).      75 Sagittarius, Die Große Marina (Wittenberg: Neo-Form 2005).      76 Lady Morphia, Recitals to Renewal (Little Walden, Essex: Surgery 2000).      77 Various Artists, Der Waldgänger (Hanover: Thaglasz 2001).      78 Thorn, ‘Von Thronstahl interview’.      79 Von Thronstahl/The Days of the Trumpet Call, Pessoa/Cioran (Sintra: Terra Fria 2004). The Days of the Trumpet Call is a side project of Von Thronstahl member Raymond Plummer.      80 Darlene J. Sadlier, An Introduction to Fernando Pessoa: Modernism and the Paradoxes of Authorship (Gainesville: University Press of Florida 1998), 46.      81 Ibid., 151. See also José Barreto, ‘Salazar and the New State in the writings of Fernando Pessoa’, Portuguese Studies, vol. 24, no. 2, 2008, 168-214; and Jim Hicks, ‘The fascist imaginary in Pessoa and Pirandello’, Centennial Review, vol. 42, no. 2, 1998, 309-32.      82 Marta Petreu, An Infamous Past: E. M. Cioran and the Rise of Fascism in Romania (Chicago: Ivan R. Dee 2005). It should be noted, however, that Cioran later repented his fascist past.      83 Various Artists, Codreanu: Eine Erinnerung an den Kampf (Andria, Puglia: Oktagön 2001).      84 Various Artists, Cavalcare la Tigre (Dresden: Eis und Licht 1998).      85 Various Artists, Riefenstahl (Duisberg: Verlag und Agentur Werner Symanek 1996). Verlag und Agentur Werner Symanek (VAWS) is also a publishing house known for producing radical right-wing and ‘historical’ (revisionist) books.      86 Various Artists, Breker (Duisberg: Verlag und Agentur Werner Symanek 2002). Arno Breker was a German sculptor who, according to Alfred Rosenberg, realized in his work the ‘mighty momentum and will power’ (Wucht und Willenhaftigkeit) of the new era. See Caroline Fetscher, ‘Why mention Arno Breker today? The work of the Nazi sculptor is on exhibit’, The Atlantic Times, August 2006, available online at www.atlantic-times.com/archive_detail.php?recordID=602 (viewed 13 August 2009).      87 Various Artists, Wir Rufen deine Wölfe (St Koloman, Austria: Ahnstern 2007). Friedrich Hielscher was a German poet and philosopher who formulated a mystical concept of the German nation in Das Reich (1931). Although he sympathized with the Nazis in the 1920s, he moved to an explicitly anti-Nazi (though not anti-fascist) position prior to Hitler’s ‘seizure of power’.      88 Death in June, ‘Runes and Men’, on Brown Book (London: New European Recordings 1987).      89 Belborn, ‘Phoenix’, on Seelenruhe/Phoenix (London: World Serpent 2000). The English translation is by Belborn.      90 ’New heroic times ask for new heroic models’ (interview with Holger Fiala of Belborn), Letters from the Nuovo Europae, October 2000, previously on the Belborn website at www.belborn.de/INTRODUCTION/INTERVIEWS/DAN/dan.html (no longer available).      91 Quoted on Seelenlicht, Gods and Devils (Northampton: Cold Spring 2008).      92 Howard Williams, ‘Metamorphosis or palingenesis? Political change in Kant’, Review of Politics, vol. 63, no. 4, 2001, 693- 722 (700).      93 Luftwaffe, ‘Kalki’s Army’, on Trephanus Uhr (Chicago: Lupine Arts 2004).      94 Nicholas Goodrick-Clarke, Hitler’s Priestess: Savitri Devi, the Hindu-Aryan Myth, and Neo-Nazism (New York: New York University Press 1998), 124-5.      95 Savitri Devi, The Lightning and the Sun (Buffalo, NY: Samisdat 1958), 18-19. The extended passage is cited on the cover of Turbund Sturmwerk, Turbund Sturmwerk (Leipzig: Loki Foundation 2003).      96 ’Darkwood: patria e libertà’, Darkroom Magazine (webzine), 19 April 2008, at www.darkroom-magazine.it/ita/105/Intervista.php?r=627 (viewed 13 August 2009).      97 ’Strength through Joy’ in German is ‘Kraft durch Freude’, the name of the Nazis’ state-controlled leisure organization. See Shelley Baranowski, Strength through Joy: Consumerism and Mass Tourism in the Third Reich (Cambridge and New York: Cambridge University Press 2004).      98 Malahki Thorn, ‘Arditi—spirit of sacrifice’, Heathen Harvest (webzine), 27 April 2005, at www.heathenharvest.com/article.php?story=20050427093041822 (viewed 13 August 2009).      99 H.E.R.R., ‘A New Rome’, on The Winter of Constantinople (Northampton: Cold Spring 2005).      100 Quoted in Klaus Farin, Die Gothics: Interviews, Fotografien (Bad Tölz: Tilsner 2001), 15.      101 See interviews with de Benoist and Bouchet in François, La Musique europaïenne.      102 For Arcto Promo, see its website at http://retro-future.ru (viewed 14 August 2009).      103 For Synthesis, see its website at www.rosenoire.org (viewed 14 August 2009).      104 Thorn, ‘H.E.R.R. interview’.      105 Tony Wakeford, ‘A message from Tony’, 14 February 2007, available on the Tursa website at www.tursa.com/message.html (viewed 14 August 2009). Nowhere, however, does Wakeford repudiate his homage to Evola (the titles of two Sol Invictus songs, namely ‘Against the Modern World’ and ‘Amongst the Ruins’, directly allude to Evola’s works Rivolta contro il mondo moderno and Gli uomini e le rovine), or explain why his ongoing musical project L’Orchestre Noir was named after the 1985 documentary film on the Belgian paramilitary extreme right-wing groups Vlaamse Militanten Orde (Flemish Militant Order) and Front de la Jeunesse (Youth Front). See also Stewart Home, ‘Danger! Neo-Folk “musician” Tony Wakeford of Sol Invictus is still a fascist creep!’, 28 July 2008, available online at www.stewarthomesociety.org/wakeford.html (viewed 14 August 2009).      106 ’Intervyu s Ritual Front’, Mashinnoe otdelenie (webzine), Summer 2003, at http://machine.radionoise.ru/tex

[almightygodismydependence-blog]

I Have Finally Seen the Way of Being a True Person

Xiaoli    Henan Province

Since I was small, my desire for reputation was always very strong, and when I interacted with people I paid particular attention to my own image, my status in other people’s eyes, and their assessment of me. So I always allowed other people to have any convenience, any benefits, and I just buried difficulties or grievances in my heart. I didn’t express those things to anyone, and when other people experienced difficulties I would always think of ways to help them. So in my parents’ eyes, I was a good girl; I was a real delight. In my neighbors’ and friends’ eyes, I was warm and generous. After getting married, I also got along very well with my husband’s family. When my sister-in-law and brother-in-law found partners and got married, I was running around like crazy. I contributed both money and effort, and I shared the burden with my parents-in-law. Before long I had become the good daughter-in-law and the good big sister. 

In reality, at that time I was exhausted every day and I was worn out to my very core because I was always tiptoeing around to maintain my relationships with other people and taking care of everyone else’s feelings; I would monitor their expressions and then speak accordingly. I was afraid of hurting someone else and leaving them with a bad impression, and damaging my own reputation. After gaining these “good names,” in my heart I felt proud, and that the price I had paid was worth it. I felt that I was very successful as a human being. I frequently thought to myself: If someday I encounter any difficulties, my friends, family, and neighbors will definitely extend a helping hand to me and help me out of my troubles. But just as I was basking in my “accomplishments” as a human being, a disaster came out of nowhere—it completely destroyed my fantasy and changed my views.

On December 4, 1991, my husband was in a terrible car accident. His spleen ruptured, his liver and kidney were damaged, and there was major intestinal damage. He was bleeding uncontrollably. He underwent four surgeries in just one month with more than 2000 milliliters in blood transfusions. Even so, his life was still hanging by a thread. The doctor said that if they didn’t continue with the blood transfusions, his wounds simply wouldn’t be able to heal. At that time we had just finished building a house and had also bought a car, so we were heavily in debt. There was absolutely no way for us to bear such huge medical fees, and my parents exhausted all their resources so that my little brother could go to college. They had no ability whatsoever to help us, so I had no choice but to reach out to my relatives and friends. But I had never imagined that these people who were usually surrounding me would, one by one, find an excuse to turn me down, to dodge me. I was very hurt. Later, I heard that a relative who we had helped quite a bit had said to someone else: “We couldn’t possibly lend them money. There was absolutely no hope of curing him, and if he died, his wife would just get married to someone else, and then who would pay us back? And even if he doesn’t die, I bet he’ll be disabled for the rest of his life, so wouldn’t lending him money just be throwing it away?” After hearing these cold, heartless words, I could only cry because I knew that this was the voice of all those people who would not lend me money. But what was even more disappointing for me was the unkindness of my husband’s family. My parents-in-law clearly had money, but they only gave us 500 yuan, and later on when they were settling accounts with us, they counted the costs of their transportation, meals, and fruit from when they came to visit my husband in the hospital. My husband had two well-off younger brothers, and when they came to visit him in the hospital they only gave 500 yuan between the two of them. That little bit of money given by my in-laws was a drop in the bucket for us. It couldn’t help resolve our real difficulties. In the midst of pain and hopelessness, I could only apply for loans from the bank, but the bank denied my applications. In the end, I had no choice but to sell the car for a low price to fund my husband’s treatment. In spite of all this I wasn’t able to put together enough of my husband’s medical fees. I was really out of options, and three months later, my husband was discharged early when his wounds had not yet healed. But I never imagined that just as we were stepping into our home, those we owed money to were right on our heels, rushing through our door. Even my elder sister-in-law came to our house asking for money. Facing this situation, I was hurt beyond words. I ran out alone to a wooded area on top of a hill to cry. I had just turned 24 at the time and had only been married to my husband for one year. My ruthless parents-in-law had placed this entire burden on me, and not a single person around us was willing to extend a helping hand to us. The road ahead would be long—how could I bear that kind of blow, that kind of burden? When I was in the woods, I thought and cried, and thought and cried. I really didn’t have the courage to continue on, and I yelled up at the sky: “Heavens! Why is my life so difficult? I really can’t go on in this world. Oh Heavens, I beg You to take my life away from me!” Suffering is suffering, and practical difficulties must be faced in the end, and I didn’t have any choice but to pick myself up, steel myself, and support my family. Enormous life stress led to me, who had always been cheerful and energetic, moping every day. When my husband saw me so wronged, he cried and said: “You should leave this home; you don’t have to suffer like this for me!” To tell the truth, I also had some thoughts of leaving, but I saw my reputation as more valuable than gold, so absolutely would not leave my husband under those circumstances. The days following were even more difficult. My husband couldn’t do any physical labor, and on top of that there had been three years of drought with almost no harvest for three years running, so I was carrying a heavy debt. Even eating became an issue. Just when I was fully awash in despair and I had no hope for continuing on, someone advised me to believe in Jesus. After believing in Him, I saw Jesus’ words in the Bible saying: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved” (John 3:16-17). In the midst of those days of suffering, those words from God brought me great comfort. I also read in the Bible that after the Lord Jesus was resurrected and left us, He went to prepare a place for us, and if it had been prepared He would meet us. From then on, in my heart I looked forward to the day that God would return, and I thought: When God returns, I will no longer need to suffer in this world.

In the fall of 1998, by the grace of God I had the good fortune to encounter a sister who believed in Almighty God. When I learned from what my sister told me that God had already returned and that He was doing new work, I couldn’t restrain my feelings of excitement. I prostrated myself before God and prayed: “Oh Almighty God, my hope that You would return has finally been realized. I have suffered enough and lived enough in this miserable world. I can’t stay even one more day. Oh God, no matter what work You have returned to do or what kind of requirements You have, I am willing to follow You closely.” Later, through reading the words of Almighty God, I understood many truths that I had not understood before. I saw God guiding people as to how to believe in God and how to live out proper humanity. I recognized that all of God’s words are truth and are humans’ words to live by, and that God is leading us to rid ourselves of sin, to live out proper human lives, to walk on the proper path in our lives. On top of that, I saw the genuine love of the brothers and sisters through my interactions with them, and I was deeply moved. This further showed that Almighty God is the coming of the Lord Jesus, that He is the true God who came to work and save mankind. That happened to be at the time of the fall harvest. When the sister in charge of the church’s work learned that my husband was unable to work on the land, she came to see me and right then I was carrying a load of corn on my shoulders. She pulled it right off of my shoulders and told me frankly: “I’ll do it, take a break!” The next day, she found a few other brothers and sisters to come help me harvest the crops. She had even bought steamed rolls, noodles and vegetables for me, and she gave my child sunflower seeds and candy. After the work was done we went back to my house and some of them helped me make food, take care of my child, and some helped me do laundry. Two brothers also bore witness to my husband on God’s work in the last days. In the evening we read the word of God together, sang hymns, and my brothers and sisters listened to me speak about my difficulties. Some of them cried along with me, and some gave me fellowship of the truth. Among them, one sister said to me in fellowship: “Without these misfortunes, you may not have become a believer in Jesus Christ, and you would not have been able to accept God’s work in the last days. Even more, you wouldn’t be able to experience His love and salvation; this isn’t a bad thing, but a good thing.” I felt that everything they were saying was very novel and was all just what I needed. It really drew me in. When I saw their sincere help for me, I truly was very moved. We had neither kith nor kin, but they were dearer to me than family. Experiencing years of hardships and tribulations in my life and other people’s indifference had made me disconsolate, but the love and care of my brothers and sisters made me feel so warm—the long-forgotten expression of a smile appeared on my face. I hadn’t imagined that I would see this sincerity I had been wishing for so many years in my brothers and sisters from the Church of Almighty God. From the truths they shared in fellowship with me and what they lived out, I realized that only Almighty God can do this type of work and can change people. So under the encouragement of God’s love and with the help of my brothers and sisters, my numb heart regained a bit of feeling, and I once again had confidence and courage for living. Later, I saw that my brothers and sisters would run around working and pay a price for the gospel work of God and I could not sit still, so before long I also put myself into the work of preaching God’s gospel of the last days. As my interactions with my brothers and sisters deepened, I saw that they truly were not the same as worldly people and that within the church, you never needed to worry about who would mock you or be calculating, nor did you need to fear saying something carelessly and offending someone. The brothers and sisters were always simple and open when they were together, and they would speak whatever was in their hearts, and even if it meant exposing some corruption it could all be dealt with correctly. All of it could be accepted from God and no one fixated on anyone else’s issues. It didn’t matter who said or did something wrong; no grudges were held and everyone looked into their own hearts to know themselves and learned whatever lessons they needed to learn. Whichever brothers or sisters were experiencing difficulties, everyone would work together to help them, to put their hearts into fellowship on the truth so that when they encountered these difficulties they could understand God’s will and put the requirements of God into practice. Between brothers and sisters there was no division by hierarchy—everyone came together as equals. The workers were the same as average brothers and sisters; no one was special. From Almighty God I saw the light, I found something to lean on, and in my heart I was able to experience a peace and stability I had never had before. Every day I had an inexpressible enthusiasm and joy.

Later, I was uplifted by God to be a church leader from August 1998 to the end of 2005, and even though I spent quite a bit of time in the church, during this time I enjoyed a great deal of grace and blessings from God. What was most unbelievable to me was that my husband had fully recovered. He could work and earn money just like anyone, and not only did that take care of our home’s debts, but we had some savings. We passed our days in peace and in harmony. I was praying and giving praise in front of God every day, thanking Almighty God for saving me, this miserable person, and for blessing our home that had suffered such difficulties. I set down my will in front of God and said to Him: I am willing to give the rest of my life to God, to expend it for God, to repay Him for His great love.

By reading God’s words nonstop, I came to understand that God’s goal in choosing people isn’t merely to allow them to enjoy material blessings and His grace, but more importantly, it is to judge and chastise the disobedience within them, to allow them to cast off their corrupt disposition, to live as a true human being. Just as Almighty God said: “Today man sees that with the grace, love, and mercy of God alone, he is incapable of truly knowing himself, much less is he able to know the essence of man. Only through both the refinement and judgment of God, only during such refinement can man know his deficiencies, and know that he has nothing, and thus, man’s love of God is built upon the foundation of the refinement and judgment of God. If you only enjoy the grace of God, with a peaceful family life or material blessings, then you have not gained God, and your belief in God has failed. God has already carried out one stage of the work of grace in the flesh, and has already bestowed material blessings upon man—but man cannot be made perfect with grace, love, and mercy alone” (“Only by Experiencing Painful Trials Can You Know the Loveliness of God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). In order to more completely save me, God carried out judgment and chastisement of me, from which He allowed me to more vividly experience His love and salvation for me.

When I was the church leader, because I cared too much about my reputation and status, I always maintained my relationships with others in my work for fear that my brothers and sisters would say that I did things for status and that I was too strict, that they would then have a poor appraisal of me. So even when I saw my brothers and sisters do things that clearly violated the principles of the truth and were not beneficial to the church, I could not communicate these points in a timely manner so that the issues could be resolved. I remember that there was a period of time when a sister who had initially been responsible for guiding my work was demoted, and then was arranged to participate in work in the church I was leading. When I reviewed her work I discovered many deviations and omissions. In my heart I knew that we should have fellowship together and I should help her so that she could know herself and adjust these methods. But as soon as I thought about the fact that she used to be my superior, I worried that if I pointed out the errors and deviations in her work, she could say I was too arrogant, or could develop a bias against me. When I thought of all that I kept my mouth shut, and regarding the work she was responsible for, I started to just let things slide. This was to the point that the work of gospel that she was responsible for hadn’t picked up for several months, many brothers and sisters were negative and weak, and finally she was weak to the point that she entirely lost the work of the Holy Spirit and was suspended so that she could reflect on herself. As for my own situation of corruption, the sister responsible for my work had guided and helped me many times by fellowship in the truth, but because I had continued to fail to know myself, I did not know the seriousness of the issue. I had not taken it seriously at all, and after it was over I was still living that way. I hadn’t really changed. In December of 2005, the church issued a sermon: “Only Selecting Leaders Who Pursue the Truth and Have a Sense of Justice Is in Line With God’s Will.” This required us to begin a new audit of the church leaders of every location, and the sister in charge of my work told me: “Based on weighing of the principles, you’re not suitable to act as a church leader. You don’t have a sense of justice, and when something comes up you always prefer to maintain your relationships with people. You are the ‘nice guy’ who can’t offend people. When I point out the deviations and problems that exist in your work, you justify it and make excuses for yourself. You don’t accept it when others deal with and prune aspects of you, and you are always considering your own reputation and status, considering your image in other people’s hearts. Looking at it overall, you are one of the people referred to in this sermon—one of the ‘nice guys,’ one of the deceitful people without a sense of justice who must be dismissed. This is because when you encounter an issue you always consider your own benefit; you always speak and act for your own face and your own status. You absolutely do not care for the will of God, and you do not think of what to do to benefit the church or the lives of your brothers and sisters. You are leading the church this way and bringing your brothers and sisters in front of you; it is a serious resistance of God. You’ve been given guidance many times on what you’ve displayed in these circumstances, but you have not taken it seriously, nor have you focused on changing. So, according to the church’s recent principles for using people, it has been decided that you should be relieved of your duties in order to reflect on yourself. This does not at all mean that you are not able to change. I hope that you can treat this properly and really reflect on yourself, recognize your own corrupt aspects, and focus on change. This will be beneficial to your own life and it will also benefit the work of the church.” As my sister was speaking to me my entire face turned red. I felt I didn’t have anywhere to hide. I had gotten to that age and had always been looked up to and praised by others. No one had ever exposed me to my face that way. I was in great pain and was extremely embarrassed. I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. I generally did not pursue the truth and I had never seriously dissected my own corruption, so that day when that sister suddenly told me that the nature of my essence was deceitful and I was being replaced for that reason, I absolutely could not accept those facts. I felt that I had reached a low point—I couldn’t help but lose control and start crying. I felt negative and was in despair. Amidst this painful refinement, I saw the words of God that said: “People bring their ways of serving officials and lords to the house of God, vainly thinking that such ways can be wielded here. Never did they think that God has not the disposition of a lamb but that of a lion. Therefore, those associating with God for the first time are unable to communicate with Him, for the heart of God is unlike that of man. … If you lack real knowledge and are not equipped with the truth, then your service with passion will only bring upon you the loathing and abhorrence of God. Now you should understand that belief in God is no mere study in theology.” “If you are a hypocrite and one who is adept at ‘socializing,’ then I say that you are definitely one who trifles with God. If your words are riddled with excuses and valueless justifications, then I say that you are one who is very unwilling to practice the truth” (“Three Admonitions” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). The indisputably correct judgment in God’s words stunned me. I was exactly that type of deceitful person who despicably attempted to be dishonest in front of God, who relied on Satan’s worldly philosophy in my actions and resisted God. When I reflected on the time since I had become responsible for the church’s work, even though I had unceasingly performed my duty, I was doing it entirely for my brothers and sisters to see me highly, to satisfy my own vanity and even more to safeguard my own status. When the church assessed our degree of entering into the truth, I heard from that sister’s words that in the aspect of recognizing their own corruption, the degree to which the brothers and sisters in our church had entered in was skin-deep. When I was filling out the questionnaire, I consciously answered the questions with an eye to the aspect of knowledge of myself so that this sister wouldn’t think less of me, as well as to imply to her that I had the capability to lead our brothers and sisters to know themselves. In the past I had provided guidance for a sister based on my own will, which led to a serious problem in her work. This ended up causing a great loss to the church. When the church leader brought this up with me, I believed that she didn’t know the whole story, so I feigned ignorance and didn’t mention my own responsibilities. This type of thing happening to me wasn’t just a one-time occurrence, but a consistent way of doing things. I thought of all the times these types of situations had occurred, and my sister had always diligently communicated with me about it to help me understand the truth and know myself, but in order to protect my own face and status I would make excuses to justify myself. I would discuss right and wrong, and wouldn’t accept the help of my sister’s guidance. This seriously impacted the work of the church and could not possibly bring my brothers and sisters true edification or sustenance. That today I was relieved of my duties and reflected on myself was entirely God’s righteousness. This is because God is holy and He does not allow people to bring the worldly pretensions of their machinations into His house to use. He particularly does not allow all those who carry a satanic disposition to lead a church. In the enlightenment and guidance from God, I thought of His words: “If you are especially cordial and loyal to your relatives, friends, wife (or husband), sons and daughters, and parents, and never take advantage of others, yet you cannot be compatible and at peace with Christ, then even if you send your all in relief to your neighbors or have taken good care of your father, mother, and household, I still say that you are wicked, and cunning, too. Do not think that you are compatible with Christ if you are compatible with man or perform some good deeds. Do you believe that your kindness can purloin the blessing of Heaven? Do you think that good deeds are a substitute for your obedience?” (“Those Incompatible With Christ Are Surely Opponents of God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words laid my essence bare as if cut open with a knife. So-called “good people” in the world are not good people in God’s eyes. Out in the world people can just exhibit good behaviors, but when in the house of God if you cannot carry things out in an upright manner, and you cannot be an honest person, in God’s eyes this is an insidious and deceitful person. Thinking of the fact that from the time I was small up until then I was always working hard to fabricate a positive image, helping and caring for everyone else, constantly monitoring others’ expressions then speaking and acting accordingly. I was willing to accept so much suffering and being wronged in order to maintain this image. These methods to win people over truly did work out in the world and I gained praise from worldly people; this was because they didn’t believe in God and didn’t have the truth. They could not see through to people’s essences, and they could not make out people’s intentions and motives in their actions. They only distinguished between good and evil based on others’ external behavior. It didn’t matter who it was, as long as they pretended well enough and they could do good things on the outside, they could win people over and gain a good reputation. But when I brought these worldly things into the house of God and applied these earthly philosophies to my work in the church, this was exactly what disgusts God. It displays a lack of a sense of justice, and crooked deceitfulness. God is a holy and good God, His love and effort for humans is true and never empty. In order to save mankind, He is willing to sacrifice all without demanding anything. When He speaks and acts there is no adulteration; it is all the natural revelation of His disposition. Therefore, God prefers people with a true representation of themselves, who speak and act sincerely, who do not have pretensions. But my intentions in doing things were not to honestly show consideration for God’s will and satisfy Him, but to have my brothers and sisters look up to me and recognize me. It was to establish my own image and prestige, to satisfy my own desires. I was exactly what God exposed in His words as a deceitful and insidious person. Because the work that God is completing in the last days is that of judgment and chastisement, and changing people’s dispositions, He must expose and purify people through various types of environments. And I, as a church leader, could not be considerate of God’s will; when my brothers and sisters revealed corruption I was not able to help them recognize that in themselves or see through to the essence of the problem to achieve true repentance and change. I only protected my own image in other people’s minds; I was afraid of offending others so I kept my mouth shut and tried to always be the “nice guy.” This meant that the corrupt dispositions of my brothers and sisters could not be resolved in a timely manner—wasn’t this leading them into harm? Don’t I have a terrible heart? Thanks to God’s enlightenment and leading, I finally saw that the attitude of “pursuing others’ high regard, satisfying your own vanity” is a harmful thing, that it is a cancer planted deep within me by Satan! But I had always pursued these as if they were positive things, seeing them as the basis of how to conduct myself and even took them into the house of God to use, cheating God, cheating my brothers and sisters, treating the work of the church as a game. It really was misguided and pitiable. I flattered myself thinking that I was successful at being a good person, but that day under the judgment revealed in God’s word, I finally recognized that everything I was living out was Satan’s demonic disposition. It was not at all what should be lived out in proper humanity. It was the judgment and chastisement of the words of God that made me finally clearly see how Satan corrupts mankind. It had long planted deep within my soul the poisonous seeds of leaving a name for yourself, of saving face, the idea of targeting a person but not their reputation and exposing them but not their shortcomings. This was to poison me, to toy with me, to make me more and more superficial and deceitful, so that I would become a truly deceitful person.

After I recognized the truth that I had been corrupted by Satan, I immediately prayed to God to seek the appropriate truth to resolve my own corruption. Then, I saw these words from God: “My kingdom requires those who are honest, not hypocritical, and not deceitful. Aren’t the sincere and honest people in the world unpopular? I am completely opposite as it. It is acceptable for the honest people to come to Me; I delight in this kind of person, I also need this kind of person. This is precisely My righteousness” (“The Thirty-third Utterance” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “That God asks for people to be honest proves that He really loathes those who are deceitful. God does not like deceitful people, which means that He dislikes their actions, disposition, and even their motivations; that is, God does not like the way they do things, and so, if we are to please God, we must first change our actions and manner of existence. Previously, we relied on lies, pretense, and falsehood to live among people. This was our capital, and the existential basis, life, and foundation by which we lived. And it was all despised by God. … And so, today, the die has been cast: If we are not honest, and if, in our lives, our practice is not directed toward being honest and we don’t reveal our own true face, then we will never have any chance of gaining God’s work or gaining God’s praise” (“To Be Honest, You Should Lay Yourself Open to Others” in Records of Christ’s Talks). The clear guidance in God’s words gave me a standard for being a human being and a direction in my life—to be an honest person. An honest person shows a true representation of themselves and does what they say. There are no pretensions, no personal schemes, they don’t work for reputation or their own benefit. In all things they only seek to satisfy God, and to benefit people’s lives through their words and actions. So only an honest person is a real person, is a person that brings God joy. Only those who become honest people can receive His salvation and enter into God’s kingdom. I can no longer rely on falsehoods and pretensions in my life. I have to change my survival methods, resolve my own intentions in my actions, and no longer live for reputation or status. In all things I must focus on genuinely being a human being, acting according to God’s requirements.

Even though I am willing to pursue being an honest person, as I have been too deeply corrupted by Satan, putting it into practice is still quite difficult; especially the moment it has to do with my reputation or status, I just lie and cheat in spite of myself. I remember when I was preaching the gospel and I saw that my brothers and sisters really threw themselves into their evangelism, and were winning many people for God, but my results were never very good. I felt ashamed, and I was worried that other people would look down on me because of that. During those few days I had just borne witness to a new member about God’s work in the last days, and she brought two more friends to her house so that I could chat with them as well. But because some other things came up that day, I never made it. In the evening a sister asked me how many people I had converted, and without thinking I told her: “Three people.” After she left, I started to reproach myself: I clearly just converted one person, so why did I say three? Wasn’t it just for my own vanity, my own face? Before, when I didn’t focus on being an honest person, I told many lies without being conscious of them, but when I started focusing on it I discovered that I lied quite a lot and that these lies just fell out of my mouth. It seemed that I was killing myself with these lies. I was subject to a lot of refinement on this, and I was concerned that I was so difficult to deal with. I questioned myself: Will it kill you to tell the truth? Why don’t you just remember things? I was disheartened because I had never been able to truly enter into the truth of being an honest person. I felt that I was an utter failure as a human being and I even believed that God didn’t want to see me, this deceitful person, anymore. It was so difficult for me to tell the truth, and I had so many corrupt dispositions, how could I possibly change? It turned out that my essence was as the devil’s and I could not be saved by God. Sooner or later He’ll get rid of me. When my thoughts went there, I lost all confidence in myself and began to give up.

Just as I was sinking into negativity and complacency, some lyrics from a hymn of God’s word sounded in my heart: “We should have one resolution: No matter how intense of an environment or what difficulties we are facing, no matter how weak and negative we are, we cannot lose our confidence in changing our disposition, nor can we lose confidence in the words of God. God has given mankind a promise, and He requires that man have resolution, and that they have the perseverance to receive. God does not like cowards, God likes people who have resolution. Even if you displayed much corruption, even if you walked many winding paths, or have committed many transgressions along the way; if you have resisted God, or if some of you have blasphemed against God in your heart; or if you have murmured, or have had conflicts, God will not look upon this. God only looks to see if you will change. Just as a mother understands her own child, God understands each and every person. He understands all the difficulties, weaknesses and requirements people have. Furthermore, He understands the difficulties, weaknesses and failures one will encounter throughout the process of undergoing transformation in one’s disposition. God understands this the best, which is why I said God searches the heart and examines the mind. Regardless of your weaknesses, as long as you don’t forsake the name of God, don’t leave God and don’t leave His way, then you will always have the opportunity to transform your disposition. If we have opportunities to change our disposition, then we have hope to continue on. If we have hope to continue on, then we have hope to be saved by God” (“God Likes People Who Have Resolution” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). These words from God really moved me; in them I saw God’s hopes and I understood that a change in disposition is not a simple thing. Becoming an honest person isn’t something that happens overnight, but it requires me to unceasingly pursue the truth and to have an unshakable resolution. At the same time I also saw that if I only relied on my own will to control and restrain myself to not tell lies, I wouldn’t be able to meet the standard of an honest person. I had to continue to recognize my satanic nature in God’s words, and in all things focus on dissecting my own intentions, even more so at the time of speaking or acting for the sake of reputation or status. Then, I could gradually practice these and through this persistent practice I would be able to achieve change. Thanks to God’s enlightenment and leading I have a path for putting that into practice, and I have the confidence and the resolution to continue to seek to be an honest person.

Before long, in order to change and purify me, God once again set up an environment to test me, to make me perfect. The leader of our church was my best friend, and we had a very close relationship. There was a time that she gave me incredible help in my life, but at that time her own situation was very difficult, and she ended up making a mess of the work in the church. Brothers and sisters met with her in fellowship on this many times, but there was no change. After I heard about that I wanted to go seek her in fellowship, but then driven by my nature, I was afraid to offend her and I made excuses to myself: We’re not performing our duties together right now so I don’t need to pay any mind to this. If she really isn’t suitable to act as a church leader, our brothers and sisters will help to expose that. When I had that thought, God’s words of judgment immediately came upon me: “There have been many times I have advised the brothers and sisters who are with Me that they should believe in God from their own hearts and not protect their own interest, that they should be considerate of His will” (“The Path … (5)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “Have a clear understanding of everything that God does, see things according to God’s word and see things by standing on the side of God. This way your viewpoints will be correct. Therefore, to build a good relationship with God is a top priority for anyone believing in God; everyone should treat it as the most important task and as their major life event. Everything you do should be weighed against whether or not you have a normal relationship with God. If your relationship with God is normal and your intentions are correct, then do it. In order to maintain a normal relationship with God, you can’t be afraid of losing out on personal interests, you can’t allow Satan to prevail, you can’t allow Satan to have a handle on you, and you can’t allow Satan to make you into a laughing stock” (“How Is Your Relationship With God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). The judgment in God’s words made me recognize that if I continued to protect the benefits of the flesh, I would be an accomplice of Satan, and I would thoroughly disappoint and disgust God. God had paid an immeasurable price for me, and at the critical moment I would always hurt Him for the sake of the flesh. Was I a human being? Why couldn’t I care about His will? God had given me endless grace and countless blessings, so why couldn’t I repay Him? Maintaining the work of the church is one of the most basic things of my work as a person who believes in God, and establishing a proper relationship with Him is most critical for me as a believer. I had to satisfy His will; I could no longer live for my own reputation and status, and wound His heart. So, I decided to go and engage in fellowship with her, and through that fellowship I learned that she was in a terrible situation, and she did not at all have a heart of seeking the truth. I knew that in principle she should be replaced and that I should notify the church of her situation, but as soon as I thought of how she had helped me, I hesitated and wasn’t willing to offend her. This was really agonizing for me. If I didn’t bring up her situation, I wouldn’t be able to face God. If I did bring up her situation, my heart wouldn’t be able to bear it. I brought this to God and prayed many times, and He enlightened me that I should give my heart over to God, and not deceive those above me or delude those below me. Under the leadership of God, I finally understood that I couldn’t disregard the work of the church for the sake of maintaining my relationships with others, and that actually reporting her issue to the church would be helpful to her, and it would be beneficial for her own self-reflection. Just like before, if I hadn’t undergone being replaced and scrutinized by that sister, I probably never would have known myself, and I wouldn’t have been able to enter in in my life. So I mustered my courage and wrote out the situation as I understood it to give to my superior in the church. She was quickly relieved of her position. Once I had done that, I felt very pleased for acting as an honest person that time. My heart suddenly opened up and I experienced the joy from putting the truth into practice and satisfying God’s heart. Starting then, my confidence in the practice of being an honest person grew. In the past I was always afraid that if my brothers and sisters knew about negative things in my life, they would think less of me. I was always concealing things, but by then I didn’t feel that there was a need to hide these things, so in the meeting I frankly told my brothers and sisters why I was replaced, how many terrible things I had done that were contrary to the truth and why I had been deceitful to God as well as my brothers and sisters. When I said all of this I was trembling and my face was hot, but what I hadn’t imagined was that after my brothers and sisters heard me out, there was not a single person who was repulsed by or looked down on me. One sister said to me: “In the past I didn’t want to have as much to do with you because I felt that I wouldn’t be able to get close to you. The feeling I got from you was that you had never experienced any corruption, so I kept a respectful distance and wasn’t willing to interact with you. When replacing this sister, I thought that because you have such a good relationship with her, you wouldn’t stand on the side of the truth, but that you would certainly be on her side and speak for her. I hadn’t imagined that you would expose and speak about her. The work of God truly can change people, and through you I can see that God truly is the Savior of mankind!” I felt both ashamed and moved by my sister’s words. In the past, I had always thought that I didn’t reveal my dark side to my brothers and sisters, and that I could maintain my positive image. But in fact, under God’s leadership they had long been able to distinguish good from evil, and the more I put on false pretenses, the more they disliked it and were disgusted by it. The more I opened myself up, not only was I able to gain God’s enlightenment and illumination, but I could also become truly closer to my brothers and sisters. I truly experienced that only an honest person is a true human being, and a person who God and humans like. My heart felt a release as never before. Because I was willing to put into practice being an honest person, when some important work came up for the church, the church leader would arrange for me to go take care of it. Through this type of work, not only did I do some things that were beneficial to the church and the brothers and sisters, but from that I also understood some truth and learned some lessons. I felt at ease and I enjoyed it; I felt very free, and that living that way was very meaningful.

But in my practical life I was not only interacting with my brothers and sisters. I still had to face my family, relatives, and friends who did not believe in God, and this once again presented difficulties for me. I didn’t know how to be an honest person among them, particularly as soon as I thought of when I had just started to accept the work of Almighty God, none of my classmates, relatives or friends could understand me. They avoided me, and I also avoided them because I was afraid they would make fun of me. When I did encounter them, I wouldn’t speak to them from the heart, but would find an excuse or tell a lie to deal with them. I kept far away from them, and I believed that an honest person couldn’t get along with those who didn’t believe in God. I even believed that if I didn’t lie, I wouldn’t be able to continue to function in this world. Later, I saw these words from God: “Living in this world, living under the influence of Satan’s corruption, it is impossible for people to be honest, but can we, having become honest, exist in this society and this world? Can we be segregated by them? No—we’ll live as before, because we don’t rely on treachery to eat food, or breathe air. Instead, we rely on the breath and the life given by God to live; it’s just that, today, the principles of our existence, the direction and aims of our existence, and the basis of our lives must all change. It’s just that we are changing our method and the way we live in order to satisfy God and seek salvation, and this is totally unrelated to the food, clothing, and habitation of the flesh. This is our spiritual need. Is it not so?” (“To Be Honest, You Should Lay Yourself Open to Others” in Records of Christ’s Talks). God’s words once again solidified my confidence in my pursuit of being an honest person, and they rid me of my concerns. No matter how they see my belief in God, I am willing to face them with a generous heart, to do my best to put into practice being an honest person according to God’s requirements, to no longer live in falsehoods as in the past. After that, I no longer avoid them, but I interact with them normally. When I see that they are experiencing difficulties, I help as much as I possibly can. When I interacted with them in the past I was always carefully observing their reactions, afraid that I would offend someone with something that I said and hurt my own interests or impact their image of me. Now I put this into practice according to God’s requirements and I no longer hope to gain any benefits from them. Instead, I interact with them out of love and according to the truth. Whatever extreme things they say or lines they cross, I dare to criticize them for, to use the truth to respond to their erroneous views. After a period of time, I discovered that those relatives and friends who kept their distance because I believed in God were willing to interact with me, and they all believed that I was in a higher realm than them. When they encountered difficulties they were happy to talk with me, and I was also able to preach God’s gospel of the last days to them. Through my experience I deeply understood that the words of Almighty God really are the truth, the way, and the life. The work of purifying and changing people that He is doing in the last days is practical and real, and though from the outside it doesn’t seem to be earth-shaking, it has actually made us aware of how to live, how to be human beings, and it has ended up changing us, making us gradually shake off Satan’s corrupt disposition and live as human beings, to live freely, happily, and at ease. In the past, I could never connect God’s work of saving mankind with my own practical life. But now, through my experience, I can deeply feel that God’s work of judgment and purification in the last days is what all corrupt humans require. Only if people undergo this type of work and accept God’s salvation can they live as human beings, and have a happy and promising life.

I give thanks to God’s judgment and chastisement, allowing me to finally break free of the bonds of the forces of darkness, so that I am no longer hiding myself because of the restraints of reputation and status, and I could step on solid ground in the house of God and fulfill my duty as a creation. Having walked this path, I have deeply experienced that God’s work of judgment and chastisement in the last days truly is to save mankind. Although I experienced some suffering in the midst of His judgment and chastisement, in my heart I am very happy, and I feel that I am able to accept His judgment and chastisement and live out the life of a human being. This is my good fortune, and it is also my greatest comfort. Even though I still fall far short of God’s requirements for an honest person, I will continue to work hard to be a truly honest person who will bring God joy!

#gospel #Lord Jesus #the Holy Spirit #God's judgment #the truth