#i missed her birthday im sad

[g3othermal3scapism]

something about childhood best friends youll never see again make me sick to my stomach dude?? like. you were the one person i was allowed to have sleepovers with. your parents knew my favorite foods. i sat at lunch with you every day, and you would put your feet in my lap and we would laugh. i still think of you whenever i see your birthday on the calendar or in my history class but it doesn’t matter because i’ll never wish you happy birthday again

#this is not meant to be like poetry or anythinf pls #im just very sad and sentimental #missing my childhood bestfriend because i now have a new friend who shares her birthday #sick and twisted #it makes me ill when i realize i havent seen her for years #shes such a distant memory and i still find myself talking about her and telling stories about her to my new best friend #i know if i knew you now we wouldn’t get along #so i carry the you i knew with me everywhere #or whatever #i will probably miss her forever #sad posting hours #childhood #harper’s journal

[sankttealeaf]

grrrrr something isnt clicking right with this chapter. im not sure what it is... i fear im going to have to kill my darlings with some parts because they just. do not fit right

rip gortash's birthday. you were such a sweet scene. rue buys him a venus fly trap, a book on mechanical engineering and also a whole berry pie with ice cream.

i suppose i can flesh out scenes still and add them in a separate fic. things that happened but never made the cut.

i think because we're getting into the tail end of the pre-tadpole days my brain is ramped up with plot plot plot but idk. we'll see!!

#im probably just overthinking it but also... i dont want it to just be a bunch of nothing? #at the moment it feels very repetitive with rue + her realisation that her feelings towards gortash arent what she planned for them to be #idk! #yapping at this point #theres so much stuff already ive cut but the gort birthday scene is the one im actually so upset about #they dance!!! they drink!!! they discuss time they both missed out on!!! #i just fear its come too late now #originally it was supposed to be after 'a year' #im so sad

[bewilderedbuck]

oh also! happy six month deathiversary to my mom !!!!

#rest in pieces tricia you were Not a good mother but i still miss u #s.txt #jokes aside i really do miss her n im just so. sad idk. its only been six months so ofc everything still feels so Big but idk!!! #being an only child w a single parent is all fun n games until you're dealing with ur grief alone bc u have no other family to lean on :) #& her birthday is next month :(

[slicedblackolives]

EEET ISSSSA MYYYYY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYY

lewk at my kitty cats its my birthday

#a v sad birthday i have exams in 6 days and im away from my cats :( #back to the texts 😭 #ordered treats for catya im gonna spoil her when i go back to the hostel #i Miss Her

[otrtbs]

im not feeling superrrrr great tonight, so if any of you wanna come into my inbox and tell me about your celebrity crush, or tell me some good news, or share your favorite picture of timothee chalamet, or talk about something that makes you happy i will love you 5ever and a day !! <33

#nat rambles #i crave the distraction from the :(((((( vibes rn #it is a friday night and i am not feeling super cash money right now #im not gonna lie #i had a job interview today that could've gone wayyyy better #and it's getting so dark here so early already #also im just....across the ocean from everyone.... #i missed my moms birthday and my best friend's art show #and my sister's coming home from college to see my family this weekend and i miss her #and obviously ik this would happen and im happy to be here #im just missing everyone and everything a lot tn #a whole lot #and im feeling a little sad :((( #that's all #im sorry this is so much information but tumblr isn't real xoxo #its just me talking to me

[pilotstreets]

god. not to be sad online. but im sad online

#um. sorry i went on a really really long rant abt my emotions in the tags. hehehoho im sad! #im just like. there's no way im getting older. i feel like i haven't changed since i was 14 and i feel so disconnected from everything #my birthday is in like 3 weeks but i keep thinking im turning 15 or 16 again and i'll be able to live my teenage years again and #do it right this time or something but no! that's not how that works! obviously! #when my best friend turned 18 she immediately started saying ''im an adult im different im older'' but like #i think about how i'll be 18 soon and im just scared and im going to be holding onto teenage years and #fantasies about them that will never happen and it's just exhausting #i know i sound like such a dramatic teenager but i AM a dramatic teenager! #i had so much shit happen to me that made me lose out on so much of being a teenager and it's like #crushing that i'll never get those years back and other peoples choices ruined my life before i had a chance to have much of one #and i've missed out on so many experiences that all my friends got and i feel such a barrier between me and other people #for that reason and i also feel a disconnect between me and literally everybody i know #and making friends is literally impossible for me anymore and i just feel like i keep losing friends and one day i'll wake up and #i won't have anyone anymore. and i find it hard to talk to people who were my best friends for awhile and i just fall deeper into this #pit of loneliness every day and there's nothing i can do so i just give up. i dunno #im so tired and im just so so lonely and done with. existing #and im also never anybody's first choice which is always annoying but #and it's just.... heartbreaking to think about how my best friend will never choose me when her other best friend is there and #how when we all hang out they're both actually mean to me and there's just nothing i can do other than text my mom and cry #and it makes me doubt how much she cares if she gets that way so easily y'know? #ugh it's all juvenile problems but they just weigh so heavily on me :/ #okay enough oversharing online for the night im going to sleep now. then tomorrow i'll just #have the same thoughts and it'll only get worse

[mengziyifan]

happy (late) birthday xuan lu!!

#i missed her birthday no one talk to me im SO SAD #xuan lu #宣璐 #lulu xuan #happy birthday xuan lu #anyway these photos have me dead on the floor #xuan lu tuesday

[carrioncreature]

IM SO UPSET I FOUND THIS OUT AT 10:30 PM HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS PIGGY AND I'LL NEVER MISS IT AGAIN

#the muppets #miss piggy #id in alt text #i know this is kind of obscure trivia since to my knowledge shes the only muppet not in sesame st to have a canon bday #so im sad ppl havent been blowing up the tags with this all day! #its exciting for her but god i wish the other muppets had canon birthdays #gonna spam a bunch of miss piggy content to make up for it #moi

[alwaysxyou]

.

#death tw #my grandma passed away yesterday and im fine cause we did not have a relationship at all #but we didnt have a relationship cause she was Openly Homophobic to me #and im seeing all my cousins and relatives post these sweet posts for her #she was the best grandma she was so compassionate and accepting #who was always a phone call away and im like #damn i wish i had that grandma! #the grandma i had ostracized and ignored me once i came out #and made comments about me to my mom #so where did yall get that grandma i want one #that sounds lovely to have a nice grandparent anyone want to loan one out #cause the only type ive ever known is Bad #but anyways thats making me more upset than the actual fact that she died is #like the person yall are talking about is a complete stranger to me #how am i supposed to be sad when the person i knew i considered an incredibly distant relative #who i hadnt seen or spoke to in 5+ years #and who didnt like me #(there's a really good bakery near her tho that i do miss. hm.) #delete later #edit: i meant to put after the phone call bit that once on her birthday i tried to call her #and she let me get one question in then made an excuse and hung up on me #so it certainly wasnt for lack of me trying

[koishua]

you know you miss that person very much when you download google earth to search up your old city's address and find the school you used to go to together and retrace your steps back to your old apartment, because you used to be neighbors, in hopes that you'll see him stepping out of his house again but you know that he won't and it's only a still picture of your apartments but just the image of where you used to live is comforting enough to get you by.

#tp #can you tell i have been very sad this entire day? it's been an hour and i have been searching up all of our nine different addresses #and reminiscing the old times #we used to be in a band together haha #i just looked up the tickets to get to that one city again and it costs appr 40 euroes to and back #im thinking about paying my old friend a visit and walking by my old neighborhood hoping to catch a glimpse of him #it's okay if i dont see him. i think even seeing the apartments will be enough for me #and i get to visit my friend too so that's a win :( #she was awesome #i missed her birthday last year when she had invited me and maybe i can make up for that #haha imagine i pop up in front of my friend's doorstep and be like sup bitch it's been a long while <333 #and imagine if i actually meet him again while taking a walk around my old neighborhood #he used to tend to their small garden by their doorstep a lot in the afternoon #i dont think he's stopped haha #is it weird that i still remember their car plate number? :') #man it's been two years already and imjust as attached as always haha #i remember the time we cycled back home together after band practice once #it was a coincidence bc he always too another route and the road was filled with small banters haha #good times good times #he has the most beautiful sister too oml the cutest ever i bet she's all grown up like a head taller at least pfft #all of these bittersweet feels stem from the fact that i dreamt of him last night dbbxbxhc #it was super short and it was the memory of me joining the school band for the first time oddly enough #my other friend always asked me to join their band for like a year and i never said yes and i regret not joining them sooner #i would have had more time to spend with them had i taken up the offer sooner

[kellystar321]

.

#periodical life updates #finished all my criminology homework! now i got sunday off to chill and maybe draw and also me and my sibs might go to chinatown? but idk #because dad's bbq-ing which might change some plans. anyway! eating dinner now :> its not my favorite but it is okay <3 #high priority art to-dos: commission | daily eca (for tomorrow and the project) | art for *** and ******* | annual birthday redraw #general arts: mrd thing for monday | solepsi art | things for the ace iterations | the cases ref #self indulgence: drawtectives (i wanna draw more eugenes) | agent | fun ace things #my queue is winding down so that might go quiet in a bit <3 there's about a dozen things left <3 we'll see i suppose <3 #project sekai updates: cannot believe i have to wait 6 more events until the next wxs event i just want a cool emu :'0 #my strongest team is all four stars except for a three star emu; i just want a 4 star for her <3 also!! nicori smile survey for that event! #and also its probably the one where tsukasa makes a child cry by yelling about how hes gonna be a cool star hgkjh #but theres been so many events that just! arent wxs! it's been 13 events since the last one to the next one we get u-u <33 i miss them;;; #but we get some mmj ones so at least theres that <3 mmj's my assigned group and wxs's my favorite group so i have an attachment to both <3 #but yeah im gonna save up gems for a cool emu card <3 theres the valentines day one too? AND ALSO. TSUKASA AS A KNIGHT? #FOR THE WHITE DAY EVENT!! HE LOOKS AESTHETIC AS HEL I LOVE KNIGHTS!!! <3 so maybe i'll try for those!! #im also writing a drawtectives fic and recently i drew some aces from one of the old aus <3 i miss him i love my little guy <33 #im downloading all my old twitter archives. i have a lot of memories there i need to keep or else i'll be so sad <3 trying my best <33 #i have school on monday as usual <3 can you believe my birthdays coming up this month? it feels like ive been 21 forever hgjkh <3 #i think thats all the updates for now; im sleepy <33 goodnight. thank you for reading; ily <33

[killmebythebeach]

So was anyone gonna tell me that s5 is so unbelievably sad or was I supposed to find that out myself.

#like obviously i knew itd be sad but im two episodes in and ive heard tim for the first time in 40 eps and sasha for 120 #and gerry. ze boi. i didnt even realize it was him till the comics. why does he read like a teen protag in a ghost hunting story. #the leitner jumpscare to. sir. half the people in the institute would kill you on sight please go back to the tunnels. #elias being weird at jons birthday for no reason. like. i swear he wasnt that strange before the pipe murder dropping stuff for no reason? #'i like to keep an EYE on these things' sir with all due respect (none) shut the fuck up?! #idk why but tim and sasha talking like that just makes me so sad. of course its understandable for them to be frustrated #but also its not jons fault jonah chose him cuz he was traumatized by a spider book :( id be angry if i was sasha though #its also funny cuz i thought tim/sasha was a pyre fandom thing. no. tim literally calls it a 'will they wont they'. hes like a sitcom #gurtrude recording that tape to sasha basically lmaoooo #and i saw someone point this out in the comments but. gertrude keeping the place messy might have killed people. #not having easy access to information that could have saved them. such as her tape. ough #one thing i missed about tim in s3 is the charm. of course he was angry at. everything but it was heartbreaking to see tim change #so the tapes really made me just yearn for the like. two times tim was there in s1. #also the fact sasha knew about tims brother. and martins application. and that tim knew too. #i never really understood the fandom 'expert hacker' sasha but i think i get it now #i cant even remember if she hacked anything in s1. feels like so long ago even though i havent even been listening for 2 months #on that note martin and jon are going over to kill elias woo! #martin: hey this house is evil we should butn it #jon: nah. theres a lot of evil #holy fuck i forgot how stupid these characters can be sometimes. like even if you think it wont wotk just try? hello? #sasha calling gertrude a bitch is giving me life. yeah. she sure was. idc what she did she put micheal in the distortion #but im still so just. distraught by how somber the tone is. even with the s1 crew goofing around its just so. oof. #the funny quippy s1 crew cutting off to jon trembling alone in a corner does wonders for the tone #martin really went: i found the tea lets get this bread #king shit honestly. go get that bread and kill elias and stop the apocolypse or somethung. idk the goal of the season yet #like s1 focused on prentiss. 2 on stranger. 3 on the unknowing and elias. 4 on extinction and peter. im excited to see what 5 is #i dont even think weve met her but gertrude mentioning agnes. mwah. love you baby. doing great. shouldve gotten a coffeshop au. #sigh. statement ends #the magnus archives spoilers #the magnus archives

[transgaysex]

my grandma and grandaunt are leaving in the morning :(

#wind howls #man... #im gonna miss my grandma so so so much i hope i can see her again soon... #my grandaunt im neutral on but i hope she stays safe... i hope they both travel and get home safely :( #man... the house will feel better and less crowded but im gonna feel sad bc its not often i see my grandparents #and my grandma is the only one i have left... wah. #but today was a good day at least. my baby sister loved all her birthday gifts and went insane over all of them #so im happy :) #and were leaving my grandma with delightful memories this time instead of leaving her alone and sick like 2 years ago now #and heres hoping we can make even bettwr memories soon :)

[misandrygalore]

u know what tho my cousin bought me brand new airpods w his first paycheck for christmas to thank me for taking care of him when he was a kid and i cried so hard when i got home and now i’m gonna watch him graduate next weekend and im gonna ugly cry so bad and then we’re going to the beach before he leaves for college and im really really gonna cry then

#like i only have 2 sisters but. i do have 2 brothers #and they’re growing up :( #it makes me so sad #see this is why i always never know if i wanna move away or not #like im so close w them thinking abt only seeing them once a year when i’ve been w them at least 4 times a week since we were born freaks me #out …. being away when somebody else dies freaks me out #maybe not being able to come home for memorial events freaks me out #having to mail birthday presents freaks me out #not being able to see the babies milestones in real life freaks me out #missing more birthday parties freaks me out #i think i have some kind of trauma from missing sm of my cousins life and then her dying like #she was so mad at me bc i missed her last couple birthday parties bc i was like 3 cities away not even in another state #i missed so much time w her and i’ll never get to make up for it #i promised her i’d be there for her next birthday and i was but she wasn’t #like #and now all i think abt is what if i don’t go see the baby when i get a chance and smth happens #what if i don’t let my 5yo cousin come over when she wants and smth happens #i hadn’t seen my cousin in a few months before he died. and we lived down the road from each other #i almost sent my cousin a very emotional text last night bc he’s in the army so all i think abt is what if smth happens to him and he doesnt #actually know i love him and how much he contributed to my childhood and how he gave me a friend in my family when i needed one #cause he showed up right when my aunt and her husband were divorcing so the only other cousin our age was kind of becoming distant bc he was #w his dad a lot #and now he’s back but like we’re so different #i’ve always been the weird one and my cousin is the only one who like Got it. and we’d run off together all the time #and now my other baby cousin is graduating basic he’s only a year younger than me but i digress #and it freaks me out like why couldn’t he do finance like everybody else omfg

[philosophicallie]

man. been depressing out about my cat for the whole day :/

#i miss her. shes gonna be 6. its been almost 4 years without her #this sucks :/ #like wtf is so wrong with having a cat in the house like shes not gonna like u/ur side anyway #im so sad #her birthday is next month and im missing it again asi regularly do #i wish i could have my first fucking cat :/ #vent

[v-gersix]

sigh

#i havent heard anything about my grandma since early may before my birthday because she had a stroke then #and so she never wished me any happy birthday or anything and my sister hasnt told me anything else besides she had a stroke and #she was learning how to eat again or something. i. i dont know. i think about her from time to time and i get scared. #i dont want it to be that i ask how she is and i have to be told someone else i know and even though our relationship is. complicated #i still love her she's still family just for someone else to die i cant take it i cant take more people dying around me. #i wont have any grandparents left then. no parents. no grandparents. all i have is my sister my aunt and uncle and my cousins #my aunt and my uncle and my cousins who are in russia and who i barely speak to even when i was speaking to my grandma #i dont know i have so few people in my life. im so. tired. and scared. and sad. i miss my mom. i miss salem. i dont know #im in this new apartment all by myself only with max. i dont know. i dont know i dont know