#i really like that apathy remark tho | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sisterssafespace · 3 years

Note

Assalamu alaykum!🕊

First of all, I really appreciate ur work🤍

Now, to my problem, I used to be a non-practicing muslim astaghfirullah and due to my environment (i take full responsibility tho, I think blaming ur environment for everything is bad and irresponsible) I think I became a very horrible person.

I never purposely hurt anyone to my knowledge, but I think that just makes it worse because if it was an action of mine that my fingers could point at, it would be easier to remove it from my system, but instead it's something more subconscious and passive.

Alhamdulillah🤍 Allah guided me and I became practicing and though I sin a lot it is better than having 0 self-awareness and never praying. But I fear my behaviour to others is almost the same (I never actively try to help people, I think only of how much people used to wrong me and continue to do so, but never of how much I - behind my excuse of introversion - hurt people with my apathy)

Also I am a very shy person and this often stops me from doing even small acts of kindness and common decency, like thanking people, complimenting people, loving people, being actively gentle and helpful to them and I don't know how to overcome my old patterns of behaviour that only now I see as unhealthy.

On a bright note tho, I think I healed from my pessimism and cynism - I resemble now the child I used to be, optimistic and enthusiatic.🤍🤍🤍🤍

Wa Alaikum assalamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu sweet one 🌼🤍

Where to start? Jazaki Allahu kulla Khayr for the ask and for the words of encouragement, I appreciate you 🤍

To start with, I have two remarks:

1) like I always say: a 'horrible' person would NEVER say they're a 'horrible' person .. so 🌝

Had you been a really horrible person, you'd never feel bad for wronging others or for not being able to help, just saying..

2) there is just so much sincerity and genuine truth to your story, it is clear that you are being very humble and very sincere. May Allah swt accept your sincere repentance and grant you Hos forgiveness and His guidance. My Allah swt keep you steadfast on his straight path my sister, ameen.

I loved how you were being grateful admitting and recognizing that even the fact that you are now practicing is a gift and a blessing from Allah swt, and you don't take credit for it. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes that if you are righteous or pious or being a good Muslim and for example praying on time, it is a blessing from Allah swt and you should be actually grateful and never take His guidance, His hidaya for granted, because like He swt gave you that, He could easily take it away. There is a saying in Arabic that goes like :

من كان في نعمة و لم يشكر، خرج منها و لم يشعر

That who was in a blessing and didn't thank (Allah) - wasn't grateful - would get out of that blessing without realizing it.

So, Alhamdulillah a thousand times that you are not getting in your head and you're being very humble about it. Allahuma barik laki ✨

As for your character and how you deal with others, all I can say is sübhanallah nobody among us is perfect. Our behaviors depend on our personalities and our issues.. I think you shouldn't really put pressure on yourself. I think you shouldn't force yourself to feel empathy or help others when you don't feel like it because it would be hypocrisy as it's not coming from within you, and God forbid, you would be not sincere in your intentions. Allahu aālam. So I say, maybe you should read more about how kindness and charity were core characters in the life of the Prophet ﷺ and his sahaba. I recently heard about how oue mother Aisha and her sister Asmae bintu Abi Bakr As-sidiq may Allah swt be pleased with all of them were the best at giving charity, how Asmae wouldn't leave anything at the house for the next day she would just give it all for the sake of Allah swt and it really stuck with me because as a Muslimah I would want to look up to them and follow their footsteps, in shaa Allah. Maybe if you listen to lectures about the importance of charity (even a kind word is charity, even a smile is charity) and how Allah swt appreciates sadaqah and the believer who gives sadaqah, maybe then your heart will soften towards that act. Kheir in shaa Allah. But again, I don't want you to feel guilty about not being able to, or not feeling empathetic. Sometimes it's the trauma that deactivates the feature of empathy for us let's say, sometimes it's the trust issues, it could be your emotional baggage, God knows what you've been through, sis so cut yourself some slack. Kheir in shaa Allah :)

Finally, I will leave you with this Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ :

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

Whoever removes a worldly grief from a believer, Allah will remove from him one of the griefs of the Day of Resurrection. And whoever alleviates the need of a needy person, Allah will alleviate his needs in this world and the Hereafter. Whoever shields [or hides the misdeeds of] a Muslim, Allah will shield him in this world and the Hereafter. And Allah will aid His slave so long as he aids his brother. [Muslim]

May Allah swt ease your journey, and strengthen your steps towards Him my sweet sister, hold on to that innocent child-like heart of yours and stay safe, fi Amanillah 🤍

- A. Z. 🍃

#asks #change of heart #Alhamdulillah #hadith #charity #sadaqah #kindness #empathy

50 notes · View notes

scripttorture · 5 years

Note

Sorry, you're probably tired of hearing this, but I wanted a bit more clarification on why torture makes people more resistant. On one hand, I do understand why they wouldn't want to help someone who hurt them. However, on the other hand, is the fear of pain not an effective motivator to obey (tho i understand how this can lead to lies and false memories)? I thought people would try to avoid being hurt, or does the mentality change when people have a cause to lean on through torture?

I understand that it’s difficult to wrap your head around. Most of us haven’t and won’t experience anything like that mindset and it’s difficult to wrap your head around something you haven’t gone through. It’s also not one, simple factor but a lot of inter-related things coming together.

There might also be some confusion about what I mean by ‘resistance’ here.

Generally it’s a word that conjures up images of fighting and spitting in people’s faces. And when I say ‘resisting’ that is part of what I mean but it’s not the whole picture.

It isn’t really clear from the question whether we’re talking about interrogation or something like slavery. These are different situations and while I talk about resistance in both resistance tends to mean different things in both.

I think it would be helpful starting out here to clarify what torture can and can not do.

Torture can’t work as an interrogation technique.

There are just too many factors coming together which make this completely impossible.

Yes, it leads to lies and false memories. It also often causes memory loss, so it can destroy the evidence that torturers claim to be after.

But those are far from the only factors that are a problem. People are terrible at telling when they’re being lied to. This includes torturers and professional interrogators. That means that torturers often believe the lies they hear and this creates a cycle of misinformation with lies feeding into each other.

I talk about that in this post, which should hopefully build up a picture of how damaging this is to investigations.

This combines with the fact that people don’t voluntarily report information to suspected torturers and the result is that most of the people torturers arrest and ‘question’ don’t actually know anything.

So- the people who do know something are unlikely to speak. The torturers can’t tell when they’re being lied to. Most of the people they’re talking to will be lying because they don’t know anything.

And this isn’t even all the factors. Survivors often report that torturers stopped asking them questions, didn’t record the answers or didn’t let them answer. And torturers often end up fighting each other. And they end up making their working environment so bad for everyone else that it can lead to the whole organisation fracturing-

It just can’t work. Not without rewiring our brains and completely changing how we process pain and how our memories work.

I talk a little about resistance in an interrogation context here.

I think it’s important that we show resistance in torturous interrogation because they’re often framed as if resistance is impossible. But- it’s not the only factor that makes torture fail. It’s one of many.

On the other hand torture can force people to work.

Before I get to that we should probably talk about pain.

I honestly have no idea how much of a motivator the fear of pain is. But pain itself is not a good motivator and make no mistake when we are talking about torture we are talking about pain rather than the fear of it.

Our pain thresholds (plural) change with time. When we’re exposed to different kinds of pain our pain thresholds can rise, regardless of whether the exposure was consensual or not.

Take a look at the common symptoms of torture here. It’s a pretty long list of mental illnesses. None of these illnesses make people more obedient. Several of them make people less able to take in instructions.

Given the choice between torture and work many people will choose to work. Some will still refuse, even if it means being killed.

But I think it’s a mistake to treat this as obedience.

Wrapped up in that word is the suggestion of lasting control and the suggestion of agreement. That’s not what survivors of these situations describe.

What they describe is choosing the option that seemed most likely to keep them alive and waiting for the best possible opportunity to escape or enact revenge.

They will often use wording that emphasises they were forced to work. They were, they’re at serious risk of harm.

But they are also behaving in a very tactical way. I think when we treat this sort of short term compliance as true obedience then we- ignore what survivors actually do and say in these situations.

They know what their odds are. They are smart. They choose the risks they take.

Forced labour seems to generally be most ‘successful’ when the tasks are simple. The more complicated the tasks become the more likely sabotage becomes.

I would suggest that this is because complexity creates more low-risk opportunities for sabotage.

Historically enslaved populations resisted in a lot of ways.

There was violence. It ranged in scale from the poisoning of individual slave owners or overseers to outright war.

There was also a lot of smaller scale action that was less well recorded.

Equipment was sabotaged. ‘Accidents’ happened. Slaves deliberately broke their ‘masters’ prized possessions.

People escaped in all sorts of ways. In Brazil they set up independent cities in the Amazon separate from colonial society.

They also committed suicide in large numbers. This might not sound like an act of resistance but in the trans Atlantic slave trade it seems to have been consistently framed as one. Victims said that dying was both an escape and a blow against their tormentors.

People continued to practice banned religions, speak illegal languages. They laid curses.

They helped each other. People who couldn’t escape covered for those who could.

None of this looks like obedience or agreement to me. It looks like desperate, downtrodden people fighting back in any way they can. Not always effectively, not always in ways that are flashy or even noticeable. But carrying on nonetheless.

This doesn’t mean that everyone is engaged in active resistance all the time. It doesn’t mean survivors are stuck in anger.

Depression is a common symptom and starvation (which is a common torture) causes apathy and emotional blunting.

Survivors do say that sometimes they just wanted to give up. And some people never take the risk, it always seems too much however much they want it.

I think there’s a tendency, looking at this from outside, to see things in a very black and white way. As if we can only resist with huge violent, obvious action or ‘give in’ and obey forever.

The truth is muddier.

We are remarkably resilient adaptable creatures. We adapt to atrocities in order to survive them but that doesn’t mean we stop looking for ways out.

There aren’t many statistics or useful studies on compliance in forced labour or torture scenarios.

What I find interesting from the anecdotal accounts is how much effort slavers put into portraying obedience as an enslaved person’s best option. That isn’t purely with threats or pain. It’s by framing the scenario in a way that makes it look like the slave loses less by complying.

This usually comes with an assurance that it’s not forever. It’s for a year or a few years. And the promise is often that after that there will be rewards. Which never materialise.

Another thing torture is capable of doing is forcing confessions.

Analysis of historical data from France estimated the success rate at about 10%.

The London Cage also tried to force confessions from prisoners and also used torture. But they added in bribery and blackmail as well. Their ‘success’ rate for forced confessions was more like 30%.

I believe the evidence we have suggests that the success rate would have been much higher without torture. Because like most animals we respond more positively to bribery then threats.

I hope I’ve answered your question but it is a complex one and I’m not sure I’ve done it justice.

If you want to know more I strongly recommend picking up a copy of Rejali’s Torture and Democracy. It goes through the evidence in much more detail (about 800 pages and references) then I can here.

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#writing advice #tw torture #tw slavery #torture and obedience #compliance under torture #effects of torture #torture does not work #torture as interrogation #torture as punishment #resistance to torture #resistance to slavery #resistance to pain #pain and memory #writing victims

327 notes · View notes

lordeasriel · 5 years

Text

just pointing out some of my thoughts, i don’t want to spam too much. like, the trailer was really satisfying, and now that i can think clearly, i thought why not? the only adaptation that ever disappointed me was the radio drama, so i’m not that hard to please lol

so, here’s some highlights of my own:

we're all astonished with the dæmons CGI, and righteously, but honestly, was there ever any doubt? because as they said themselves, the dæmons are what make the series so great, without them the show (and the books) would be roughly very bland. i'm so glad they could achieve the right settings for the dæmons though, making them lifelike but not overly realistic.

fashion in this world is basically why @parslow and I exist, so we’ve been chatting for a while, especially about marisa, and we realised there’s a lot of thought and meaning behind every single piece of costume in the show. marisa and lyra match a lot, in colours, sometimes they even wear the same outfit with different tweaks in between them. i’ve been praising the costumes since day one, i still am, and even asriel’s lack of variety has a lot of meaning behind it, after all, this is a man who’s rolling in the snow, hence his reason to use the same sweater in all of his scenes.

i love the colours, in general, it reminds me of gotham, contrasted, real, solid, but not as whimsical (when you think that gotham tried to bring the comic style and make it realistic, if that makes any sense to you). it feels like real life, and i like the cloudy mood that lingers in the show. there is no sunlight, except in that zepelin scene, which i’m confident is asriel’s arrival. anything after that is grey and cloudy, including the scene where he is leaving. it probably encapsules the mood of the journey after asriel’s grand plan begins and lyra’s journey as well. i can’t wait to see the episode to see if i’m right about it, probably not lol

the first thing i noticed (also because it was the first scene in the trailer lol) is that asriel is already speaking of war. like, he is already talking about the war, he is already asking for support and for people to pick their sides. that doesn’t bother me, i just think it’s a bit strange in a sense that this is a great way to mischaracterise him, making him too righteous. he does have very good reasons to do what he does, but he also does it because he is a proud man, whose ego has been deeply wounded. hell, if he could have used himself as the energy source, he would have, trust me. so i hope they get him right, it matters to me lmao i’m happy with what i’ve seen so far though, james makes him harsh, yet still human. he’s also a daddy lol

i said it before, i’m saying it again: ruth wilson has the uncanny vibe of a new god and she brings it to marisa shamelessly. she sounds sweet yet still sour, this is an amoral woman, bound by nothing except her own gains and ruth captures every single tone of marisa’s rich personality. listening to her speak is utterly macabre, every time. her daemon only adds to her unsettling behaviour. that eerie smile was horrible, i could barely gif it, i can’t stand it. she is making me fear marisa for the first time, and i love it. (reading the books as an adult, I never feared her, I was just wary of her apathy and amorality, and I found her horribly relatable in many ways, but now there is actual fear in me and I’m living for it)

dafne’s lyra is everything i’ve ever wanted. strong-willed, spiteful, impetuous and fiery, she measures no words, not even to asriel, whom she fears in the books and only barks at him by the end, when she is tired and he is being ungrateful. i love her resemblance to ruth, how she fits nicely in the ambient and how she never stands out, like, “this is a normal brat from oxford. she is anything but special. her whole life is a casuality of bad luck, fate and consequences of other people’s indiscretion. now you love her because she is the best.” yet you still notice her, because dafne makes lyra have a great presence, inherited from her proudful dad uncle. (and her mom, but we don’t talk about that lol)

i’ve seen people talking about lee’s accent, but i don’t know the difference between accents (except for british and american, and i can recognise some scot accent, sometimes irish, but overall i just cant tell), so it doesn’t matter to me all that much. he sounds american, so i can live with it. i like lin in-character though, this is a younger lee scoresby, so it makes more sense to me that he is more proactive when it comes to fighting. (is the duet real? i hope not)

as of iorek’s, i have 3 things in mind: 1) he is not very famous and/or probably scandinavian, so telling us who he is, especially if he didn’t do english voice overs or voice acting at all, wouldn’t make much of a difference (in their mind, i wouldn’t mind getting familiar with a less famous actor) 2) the actor is very known, and/or scandinavian lol, and they want it to be a surprise because his voice is very remarkable and/or he is unrecognisable as iorek, so they want us to be shocked about it. 3) they haven’t finished voicing him yet and/or they just don’t want to tell us whom he is without a final product. i’m not familiar with post-production on this level, so these are wild guesses of mine, my bet is on number 3 tho.

lastly, iorek himself: i like the armor, it’s fitting, rough, simple: it looks like it’s part of him, which is kinda the point. he looks a bit uncanny on the screenshot, not so much while moving. this is good cgi, he looks real, yet this isn’t a polar bear, this is a pansebjorne, they have a civilization, they think, they speak, their soul is their armour. they have a culture of their own, so it makes sense he still resembles a person, because in essence, he is. (if a person is someone with a soul, a culture, and a mind of their own, however different).

stelmaria: “it’s time” asriel: “i know” well, well, my soul was OBLITERATED.

thanks for coming to my TED talk, sorry for the spam

#his dark materials #bbc his dark materials #i'm working on fashion posts too #and i'm doing a scene by scene post i hope no one beats me to it #lmao #thank you for your patience #if you want to discuss anything i'm up for it #feel free to add anything if you like i dont mind #hdm

72 notes · View notes

helihi · 5 years

Text

The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty: RWBY Vol 6 E 12

I wish I could’ve enjoyed this, but the fact that this episode could’ve been perfectly merged with last weeks episode for a rightful 23-25 minute episodes makes me angry.

Overall rating: 3/10

A.N.: First we got all buildup, now we got all pay off. Why do they keep doing this?

The Good:

Quick spoilers for the review ahead: most of the contents of this section are about the Bee vs. Adam fight. In fact, the 3/10 rating is earned because of this since I was just bored during the fist half and during the cliffhanger.

A quick shoutout to Ruby for figuring out an alternative way to neutralize Cordovin without yelling it or making it as obvious as Oscar’s plan was. TBH the writers did a poor job trying to execute the first plan by being just as obvious to make it not work.

This week the fight between Blake, Yang and Adam continues, but unlike last week, both girls get to fight by each others side. What’s really interesting about the scenes showcased on this episode is the way both adapt to their current circumstances and still manage to get that sweet Bumbleby combo we’ve experienced in previous volumes.

They are both quick on their feet, always in sync. Blake’s evasive technique and light hits help to destabilize Adam while Yang carries the punch (literally). She distracts him and positions him right where Yang needs him to be. Not only that, but she makes sure Adam cannot absorb any of Yang’s heavy hits, completely conscious of how that can backfire.

Of course, the ribbon combo attack the pair is known for makes a comeback. This time, Yang grabs what’s left of Gambol Shroud to protect Blake and is the one throwing her partner around.

The flying cat Faunus is not strong enough to break Adam’s stance and she’s thrown away, and her aura breaks. Like everyone guessed, Blake’s aura is purple, the same shade Yang’s bandana is ;)

Now is Yang’s turn to hold her ground against Adam while she keeps an eye on Blake, who could easily fall to there death. hOW THE FUCK CAN SHE CLIMB WITH HEELS.

“The moment of truth, Yang. Do you think you’re faster than you were at Beacon?”

Yang trembles.

“Me neither.”

Here’s the second thing I wanted to point out about this fight: Adam still tries to use manipulation to get the upper hand. He knows a part of Blake still fears him, and he knows Yang’s trauma is associated with him.

Again and again he has tried to exploit this, but once more: he fails.

Yang goes for an evasive tactic rather than an offensive one, more proof of her character development.

Adam continues taunting, because he has no other tools or tactics he can use. He desperately tries to clutch to power, even though last episode showed him that Yang and Blake are at their strongest when together.

This is why he wanted to sever that link in volume 3. Even if he didn’t know how good of a team they were, he knew the best way to break Blake was through Yang.

“What does she even see in you!” remarks how out of his element Adam is. He lost the fight before he actually lost it.

Yang’s Semblance makes a return, but TBH the animation was pretty underwhelming considering we’ve waited for its comeback for about 3 years. I think Adam’s Moonslice animation has been maintained. Everything from the color palette shift, to the way the red on his outfit lights up. His presence is there.

Yang’s Semblance doesn’t bust in victorious and glorious. It’s more like a tame flame. I appreciate the fire effects, and the way Yang’s moments are highlighted with 2D yellow effects, but where’e the frame distortion? The glowing red eyes? The final punch was nice, but overall, I’m disappointed.

Finally, the moment we all have been waiting for comes: Adam Taurus’s death. Have some popcorn peeps. There was no other way to end the whole arc, Adam was irredeemable.

If you wanted me to be honest, I thought Adam was going to fall to his death in some fight scenario where he was so consumed by anger and his obsession that he looses it; or Yang was going to be the one ending it.

Having them both kill him, with both halves of Gambol Shroud no less, is so fucking powerful and fitting. Of course, quite traumatic for Blake, who would be the one most affected by it.

I think they nailed the reaction. Aside from the obvs Bumbleby excitement, Blake breaking down, the remainder of the promise and Yang comforting her so delicately is the perfect way to end this arc.

Unfortunately, it isn’t quite as cathartic and beautiful since we’re cut short by the need to establish another cliff hanger.

The Bad:

I see people left and right on RT’s forms, Tumblr and YouTube praising the CRWBY for getting better at pacing or even “nailing” it.

Boi, oh boi, could you not be more wrong.

This episode could and should’ve been part of last episode. There’s no reason why any writer would cut the momentum episode 11 carried for a cheap cliff hanger and have the resolution to the fights be concluded 7 days later.

Do you know what real shows do? They make a two parter. A half an hour special.

I could bring up AtlA, but I’m going to bring up SU.

Do you know what’s going to happen next Monday on CN?

A 45 minute special Steven Universe season finale.

You know why?

Because the best way to finalize the diamond arc is by paying off all the buildup with a huge chunk of content! The decision to have the final 4 episodes group together to deliver some satisfactory pay off will be a blast.

Yes, we don’t know how season is going to end, but I can fucking tell you this special is the best way to end this arc.

SU’s atrocious schedule has made a lot of people drop the show, and I don;’t blame them. CN doesn’t know what its doing, and it’s purposefully killing shows with this (Se also: Adventure Time).

However, if there’s something the Crewniverse know how to do is delivering a story that can fit an episode.

A beginning/set up, a middle and a resolution/ending.

RWBY doesn’t do that. Episodes are: all build up, all buildup + some middle, some middle+tiny resolution.

The only way one can truly enjoy RWBY is by binge watching it, but unfortunately, RT doesn’t release the episodes Netflix style.

Do they change and adapt their writing because of this?

No, they don’t.

The problem wasn’t that the RWBY girls were separated, it’s that the writing team doesn’t know how to properly pace a story for an audience.

Also, is anyone bothered by the fact that no matter how many times Cordovin hit the Atlesian ship, that thing could still work?

Way to kill the momentum.

The Dirty:

I see a lot of people reflagging GIFs of Ruby and Qrow showing how much the girl has grown and how conflicted he might be, and TBH I see what you do.

I know Qrow looks at Ruby and probably thinks of Summer.

Summer is dead; Ruby is not, and Qrow wants to keep it that way. But Ruby is on her way to becoming an adult, she’s the leader on her team, a figure to her friends and the protagonist of the show. She has to show she’s prepared to take a stance.

Awesome scenes guys! You forgot something tho:

Rubys conflict.

Just like the glazed over Oscars big “this is what I stand for” moment of his arc, we never see Ruby at her weakest.

People complained of this during volume 4, but have you not notice she has not broken down or showed a real crisis? This 5 minutes with the apathy is not enough, and though I love her questioning Ozpin, I feel this needed more fuel.

Sometimes it feels like the writers know what a protagonist is supposed to sound like and act like, but don’t quite get how they got there.

Oh yeah, Grimm show up btw. We all knew this so meh.

Overall rating: 3/10

A.N.: Someone should really teach Miles and Kerry the ways episodes are structured. It’s season 6 and still haven’t grasped how to write an episodic series.

#RWBY #RWBY6 #Me #The good the bad and the dirty

4 notes · View notes

theliteraryluggage · 6 years

Text

OC Creation Q&A: Victor

I got tagged by @converginglives, thanks so much! This is so cool! :D

1) What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

Weirdly, the first thing I knew about Victor was “his” genre. I had just learned about Steampunk, and I wanted to create a Steampunk character.

2) Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Nope. Victor was the very first to exist, before I even had any significant kind of universe built around him.

3) How did you choose their name?

The day I created him I was sitting and chatting with a good friend and we considered names that a character like that may have. I knew I wanted it to be a name starting with V, and we considered some possibilities, but we quickly settled on Victor. I chose his last name (Townsend) because I wanted a typical upper/ upper middle class name for him (tho I might still change it; I’m not particularly attached to it and it seems there are some associations with that name). His second name (Samuel) I knew to be his fathers name, which I chose because of Samuel Vimes from the Discworld series. His third name was at first Vladimir, because he was supposed to be born in St. Petersburg as a son of diplomats, but as his background changed, I changed that, too.

4) In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

The political and social structure of the world played quite a big part in positioning him within his universe.

5) Is there any significance behind their hair color?

Not necessarily, I just always imagined him as having black hair.

6) Is there any significance behind their eye color?

There is within the story, but originally I chose it again because I just liked the aesthetic of them.

7) Is there any significance behind their height?

No, he’s pretty average height.

8) What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

I relate very closely to Victor - I relate to his depressive mindset, to some of his trauma, to his sarcasm as a defence mechanism, to his desire to take control of everything, to his perfectionism, to his attachments to other people and how he handles them, later on in the story to his apathy and inertia.

9) Are they based off of you, in some way?

I believe Victor got his depression from me. Sorry about that. I also think that his abuse trauma has a few aspects of my own experience in it.

10) Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

Not at all. Like most of my characters at the time, I believed Victor to be straight when I created them. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

11) What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

To be honest I’ve never struggled much with writing Victor. He’s always come naturally to me, though sometimes it’s been hard to keep him sympathetic, to not make him too unlikeable in the reader’s eyes. As for art, though, I struggled for years and years to draw Victor the way I imagine him. I’ve got such a clear image of him in my mind, but I could never get it on paper. Fortunately, though, I’ve managed it by now.

12) How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

I know pretty everything significant that happens in Victor’s life before and after the events of Unanfechtbar, regardless of whether it appears in the story or not.

13) If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

Control and Appearances.

14) What is something about your OC can make you laugh?

What I always say about Victor is that he can be remarkably stupid for a clever person. He’s really thick sometimes, particularly where social situations are concerned.

15) What is something about your OC can make you cry?

When I think about the events at the beginning of Unanfechtbar II, it’s enough to make me cry. Same goes for the time (before Unanfechtbar I) when he first moves out of his parents’ home. The way he struggles and loses his way is just heartbreaking.

16) Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

Not really. There’s a lot of bad stuff in Victor’s story, but it all makes sense and it all adds up in my eyes.

17) What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

I recently learned more about what Victor’s life was like after he moved out of his childhood home, the ways in which he struggled with being alone for the first time, the way being away from his abuser for the first time ironically made his life fall apart.

18) What is your favorite fact about your OC?

Victor is really good at public speaking and can easily captivate an audience, no matter what he’s speaking of. He could probably hold a speech about the digestive properties of cabbage and people would be fascinated. As someone who can write well but is rubbish at speaking well, that is amazing to me.

#tag #writing tag #nihi writes stuff #nihi rambles about their ocs #tag game #obsidian victor

3 notes · View notes

sillyfudgemonkeys · 6 years

Note

Mmm, I know already did ideas for two potential protags, but I'm curious on how you'd do it. Would it be like the idea I submitted where the player character not chosen would be a party member, or would there be only one choosablr protag?

I do like idea idea of a Male Lovers and Female Magician (MAKE IT HAPPEN ATLUS! ;W;)

I do like the bipolar thing, it’s one that I’ve considered myself for the MC.

NGL if you mix the two MCs you described (aka long green hair and eyes+a female Bifauxnen), you’d get the MC to this P6 one fanfic/music series Persona 6: VERGS iirc. The MC has green hair and eyes and is secretly a girl crossdressing, but that fanfic revolves around gambling. Think C (anime) meets Persona (the author’s words). Haven’t really read the fanfic all that much, but I do keep up with their fan OST. Anyway just thought it was interesting. I keep trying to steer clear of green hair cause of that ngl. Tho truth be told my mind still goes to it so sldakfjs;afja yeah XD ;w; (they do have like 2 songs I think would fit a green/life themed P6 tho so yeah lsdfj;aljf dunno what I’d call that genre but it fits).

Back to what I think the characters would be like. Tbh I haven’t thought much about a male/female duo, but I have thought about the female (it’s been awhile and sadly I didn’t take any notes). Similar to your’s, bed-head messy black hair (mostly cause she has reached a point on not caring about herself). She’s Bipolar 1 with possibly suffering from hallucinations during one of their big dip (either depressed or mania) periods. They also suffer from Avoidant personality disorder, which is one of the biggest reasons Igor chooses them, since bonds and all (one way to get a “ruin” ending is by not even establishing a bond with anyone), this was developed due to their abuse by one of their parents (personally I think mother for the girl) growing up (with said parent suffering from“Munchausen syndrome by proxy/Factitious disorder imposed on another”, in which they made the MC sick growing up to get sympathy from others’, and thus the MC has another layer of issues with their disorder because of this). They are at the hospital because they had a mental breakdown at their past school, possibly because someone brought up their parent and what they did and triggered them.

Btw I think the setting should be a new mental institute that’s part of Japan’s new wave of trying to treat the mentally ill, people of all ages are there, but they have enough students to also give them an education while monitoring them (aka the MC and some of their friends can still get an education, but can also interact with people of other ages). We find out it’s funded by the Kirijo group (if you go looking hard enough), and it was made due to the rise in odd disorders (mostly the ones brought up in P3/5). In this case they’ll make passing remarks about Apathy Syndrome, Mental Shutdowns, and psychotic breakdowns (might even have a few NPCs suffering from it) but the main focus will be on real life disorders instead of Persona’s supernatural ones.

1 note · View note

wayning · 6 years

Text

ok i wanna return to that “a.c.” list i made b4 because there are other thing that i usually no of but forget abt when writing so !

1. low apathy like B. has really tough times reading ppl if they arent direct & it just !!! bugs him he’s very bad at emotional stimulus and clues and wishes people just told the straight truth & etc !!

2. he learned ASL but rarely uses it bc it embarrasses when he goes NV (more relevant as a kid but he didnt know it then) but he ALWAYS feels the need to talk w his hands when he cant talk but he doesnt know how to make that work

3. oooh super hard time w phrasing things when its important (conflict, arguments, when he has a really really good point in his head !!!) its just lost when he gets it out he has to stop and thing abt how to even get a coherent point out sometimes (he needs 2 close his eyes to do it somewhat right and it feels kind of silly for him at first but he likes it now) 4. hes so literal sometimes its frustrating !!! part of being so direct he takes things literally and he actually had 2 learn around it as he grew up bc things just never went right, he got teased for it and ppl would say weird sarcastic rude remarks when he was little and it would just go over his head !! also it got him in trouble as a kid bc he’d be told to “be nice” and “always be honest” and stuff like that and he’d tell ppl he didnt like them at parties or smth or some other rather negative fact that he didnt think was bad bc he thought he was being good and following rules and that doesnt make sense !!!

5. he has really weird habits that he doesnt understand as weird he doesnt get when ppl explain Uh No That’s Kind Of Odd to him bc it just doesnt click (this was esp as a child) everyone says he was a weird kid and that doesnt click w him bc “excuse me i was a perfectly normal child ??? i dont understand??”

6. he has really weird times forming bonds & like relationships still feel kind of weird to him he has weird/kind of skewed ideas of things that dont match up well and he has trouble just ?? connecting its weird

7. okay ive mentioned this all the time and even on the last post but he has touch aversion !! he’s okay w quick things or when people get permission first but otherwise sometimes it just really bugs him !!! full body things (hugs, cuddling, etc) are the worst bc sometimes people just do it !!!! and he doesnt like it & people just assume he’s in a bad mood but no !! he just has sensory issues!! he hates shaking hands at parties and events and things and how people always pull him around or flirt w him or anything its just so touchy (and social!!) it wares him out

8. speaking of sensory things he hates suits & bracelets bc they feel weird and bad !! bracelets always slip around (and he has issues w things on his arms anyway) and they move to much and they aren’t even on both sides and they’re just frustrating !!! suits he hates bc of the pressure on the neck when you put a tie on and it feels gross and weird and too close & he just hates it he likes close that are open and not too tight but dont show too much skin(arms specifically) so he likes lighter fabrics and stuff !! he also likes shoes that lace up or have something to tighten them bc he loves tight shoes and how they feel

9. he’s suuuper fidgety sometimes he likes to chew on things when hes thinking or idling (he tries not to tho bc people get weirded out or think its gross and he just. doesnt) he plays w his face w his hands when hes thinking too (usually lips/chin/nose (in that order)) he likes to play w his fingers and stuff and he fidgets w clothes he likes to click pens or tap his fingers (usually when hes either in a good mood or bad mood lol) he loves to play w people’s hair and just touch it sometimes he likes spinny chairs (not 2 spin in them usually but to turn them a bit when sitting)

#mhcr #to b continued honestly.......

0 notes