#i struggled with the colours but i'm kinda happy with the result

[blue-bird-lamentation]

キミの記憶 (Memories of You)

#persona 3 spoilers #aigis p3 #minato arisato #makoto yuki #kotone shiomi #minako arisato #ryoji mochizuki #the promised day #約束の日 #i spent the whole night finishing this :') i hope y'all like it #this game's story and ending are very special to me #my drawings #on the back there's the judgement arcana card. i tried to give some dark wings to ryoji reminiscent of nyx #Aigis on front as the character who has the mission to keep going. and both protagonists vowing to protect those who stay on earth #i struggled with the colours but i'm kinda happy with the result

[britishmuffin]

Hello, Britishmuffin

I hope you are having a wonderful day/night.

Just wanted to know what inspires you to make such amazing art pieces? As well how do you deal with art block?

Im a artist myself but times get tuff and I lose motivation and start developing art block.

Sincerely, fisheggsoup :)

Morning! Love your name :D

Truthfully, my biggest motivator is born of necessity these days. I create art because I have bills to pay and family to support. My patrons are a huge driving force in all this, cheering me on from the sidelines while I work; my band of blessed saviours.

I also make sure that my social feeds are full of artists I love, who make art that makes me happy. I'm always watching films and playing games, always constantly absorbing media in this wacky age of technology-infused information. Then if I'm lucky, I get the chance to step outside for a walk in the woods with my sibling to help ground ourselves in the world and reconnect with nature, pure medicine for the troubled soul.

All of these activities serve to stir the Brain Soup and sometimes reflect in my artwork. I rarely get struck with the "fabled bolt of inspiration" these days, but I blame the current climate. I did used to.

As some of you will already know because I'm being quite open about it this time, I'm currently battling the worst bout of burnout I've had in literal years. So really, I'm not sure I'm the best person to be asking on the topic of how to deal with it, but here you go:

In my experience it’s not the best idea to wait for inspiration to strike. Inspiration is unreliable, constantly waiting can leave you anxious, and also most of us just don’t have the luxury of being able to. I kinda think we just need to create despite it (or TO spite it, or in order to spite someone who told you you couldn't, if that's your sauce).

If you feel like your art sucks, instead of expecting perfection try just giving yourself permission to be bad at art for a while, you might be surprised about how much of a relief it feels. Make a hundred terrible little sketches, doodles, scribbles, or just make marks on paper. You don’t even have to show them to anyone, they can be just for your eyes! More often than not I’ve found that the physical act of creating artwork can genuinely inspire you to make more, and better work. It flexes those art muscles and gets the creative cogs whirring. Just make stuff!!!

As a person who’s had little choice but to create for years, it can be really helpful to push through it. Not always, though.

Sometimes the art block you’re staring down actually goes layers deep into the realms of debilitating mental health and poor living status, right into dangerous burnout and breakdown territory. Some would argue that creating art in times of real pain is the best medicine, and indeed, creates the best results. I wholly disagree.

My advice is to always make art in those moments when you can, even if it sucks. And when you just can’t, then rest. Watch your favourite guilty pleasure anime, cook some delicious food, hug your pets, go exist in nature for a bit. Have you ever seen Kiki’s Delivery Service? That!

Helpful links to combat art block:

Line of Action has great learning resources, while also being a brilliant tool for a variety of speedy sketch warm-ups

Don’t know what to draw? Use a character description generator!

You could flex your figure drawing muscles with models on Figurosity, AdorkaStock, or ArtModels360 (nudity warning)

Improve your fundamental art skills with Drawabox or videos on The Fix List

Generate some colour palettes to use as a challenge. Adobe’s colour wheel tool isn’t too bad either

Other more practical tips include:

If you struggle staying motivated, try to refocus by sitting down and asking yourself "What kind of art do I really want to create?” Try to rediscover what excites you! Is your aim to work in the art industry? To be able to draw your OCs smooching? Draw beefy bara men? Do you really just wanna paint cool rocks? All valid af

Pull up images of your favourite artworks and study them. Ask yourself “Why do I like this artwork?” Are the outfits really cool designs? Is the lineart super stylish? Do you love the way they used colours? After that, think about what you need to learn to get to that point yourself, and start small. Mimic your favourite artworks in order to learn how to do it.

Example: If you realise that you want to improve at drawing hands, just spend a week learning about them. Draw pages and pages of them, find a way to make them fun and sexy to draw! I did just that, and now hands are actually one of my favourite things to draw, it works.

Warm-ups are SO important. If you just started on a piece and already feel defeated, ask yourself “Did I warm up enough first?” You can try looping fifty quick spirals in different sizes with your pen, scratch out some box shapes, doodle some funky wiggly shapes, crosshatch them, whatever you want! Just get that hand moving before you leap into your artwork of choice, it helps to loosen up to keep your lines from becoming too stiff.

If it’s just not working today, that’s okay. Take a break by filtering your creativity into another entirely different creative pursuit. You could try baking something tasty, making music, writing for your next D&D campaign, building cute houses in minecraft or the sims, painting miniatures, crafting with paper or sewing fabric, etc etc. Anything that keeps the creative brain ticking that isn’t drawing is also worthwhile.

And, mentally:

Try not to worry about what other people think of your artwork. Doesn’t matter what age you are or your background, the fact you’ve created anything at all is incredible. You brought something into the world that didn’t exist before. You’re powerful as hell.

Related: please please please don’t focus on being “successful” on social media. Even though I know it can feel awesome to post your art and get instant reactions, these things are a death spiral of addictive behaviour and shouldn’t dictate your creativity. Use sparingly.

Remember that your kid self would absolutely be losing their mind over the cool stuff you’ve made now. Same goes for your ancient ancestors who used to make those little clay animals. You’re doing great, be proud.

Don’t be so damn hard on yourself. I mean it <3

If you keep drawing you will improve. You will get your motivation back. You will make art again even if it takes you a while. And know that a muffin is cheering for you c:

#sorry this turned out kinda long wtf haha #reply #muffin tips

[hellothere-generalangsty]

It's way past my bedtime ans my cat is sleeping-purring next to me but I thought I'd post the process of the @ailani-reillata Ailaniversary art I made today just to talk a bit more about it

Disclaimer: doing traditional art is cool until you need to scan it or post a picture of it 😂 also kinda long post below so ofc no obligation at all to read it!

Phase one: Sketching the Idea

My inspiration for the posture was a Yara Flor comic strip I found on Pinterest. Yara looks over her shoulder and her hair falls on the side of her face, and I loved the way it framed her face and thought it would look great with Ailani's hair.

I drew a little doodle on the page to help me visualize how the hair would be divided, and focused on 3 main parts (the lines, the bubbles, the empty space) which would - supposedly- help me during the lineart stage. Below are images of the final sketch.

I was hesitant on adding details to her arms, such as the folds of a dress, but I was so anxious about ruining the drawing I abandonzd that idea. I was considering adding her tattoos and was still not decided at this stage of the drawing.

Phase 2: Line-ing the Art

Is that even a real word? Idk, I'm too tired to English properly so we will say it is. Following the sketching phase was naturalle the lineart phase, which is one of my favorite stage when drawing. I bought new inking pens too so I was able to test them out, and it went quite well!

As you can see, the ribbons, outline of the skin and facial features have been done with my new pens, and i was quite happy with the result! It gives a more natural look to the whole drawing in my opinion.

At this stage I decided not to add her arm tattoos and consider this version of Ailani as the one you would find in the early chapters of Begged and Borrowed Time, so before she would get her tattoos.

Phase 2.5: Line-ing the Hair

This stage has it's own part because it was really fun to do! The inspiration for the way I draw hair comes from @/ssavaart (aka Scott Christian Sava on Youtube). I've been following him for a while now and I'm trying to push my art beyond my comfort zone and try new stuff thanks to him, and having fun with drawing hair is one of these things!

Look how beautiful these curls are. I'm not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm really proud of the drawing at this stage 😂 it's the perfect moment where the inking went well and I have not yet ridked myself with the watercolours - so I always take a long sight (and tons of pictures) to celebrate reaching this stage without incidents.

Phase 3: Watercolours

Here comes the difficult part. It always makes me nervous because I always fear ruining my drawing and all the efforts I put into it by doing the watercolours. But I love the medium too much and if I want to get better I need to practice. So, testing the waters, I finally dive head first into this crucial stage.

The watercolouring goes well, I'm overall satisfied enough to take some pictures and even try to scan it, with the hope that the scanned rendering will be better than the usual "photographing and editing" I do with my phone.

Spoiler alert: the scan was NOT better than the pictures, and no amount of editing could change that. (Or maybe I am just very bad at editing.) So, back to my "photographing and editing" habits, I somehow managed to get a good enough result:

I still feel unsatisfied as I find these digital versions do not properly render the visuals I have on paper, IRL. With the digital versionsw the hair is either so dark we don't see the details, or too bright, the colours are too warm and light... And while Ailani looks light-skinned, the paper version has these visible brown tones that I struggled to find on the digital version, even when editing the pictures. The closest I got is the tone you see on the first picture, but the image is not lighted enough so the overall quality of the picture is a bit lessened by that.

Still, I won't complain too much, because overall it was a very fun drawing to do, I enjoyed every stage of it and I would love to do another piece like this! But for now I will go to sleep because it is Way Past My Bedtime 😂

If you've made it this far, thank you for your attention, feel free to let me know which stage is your favorite and what you liked most (or disliked most) about this drawing!

I for one really had fun doing Ailani's lips, as well as filling her hair, and colouring her eyes! 😊

#ailani #ailani art #I'm tagging just in case you wanna see more but again no obligation to read all of that or anything! #this post is mostly here to show the early stages coz I was so prouf of how smoothly it went!! #until the colours #it's always the colours 😂 #but I hope you enjoyed the drawing anyway #I've actually been working on it last weekend but couldn't finish it until this saturday because of my exams week #which is over btw which means i finally has time to read Begged And Borrowed Time!! #and I'm really excited about that!! #so yeah that's all for me now is time to sleep because it's like 4:19am right now and I am huu tired 😂 #once again happy Ailaniversary 💕💙 #also yes we can't see my signature on the drawings I cut it out by accident when i cropped the pictures and was too lazy to retake pics etc #please pretend like you see my name signed next to her hair x)

[silver-wields-a-pen]

Still no writing, and I put the editing on hold because pain is a thing that dominates my life 😭

So instead I decided to decorate my new dining table! It came unvarnished and had the perfect surface for drawing on, so that's what I did!

It gets better, I promise 🤣

I had an idea for a flower lion with the leaves as its mane. And yeah, I was slightly concerned I was about to fuck up my table with bad art but I really wanted to do this. It won't be just me drawing on the table, my nieces and nephews will too. I thought it'd be a fun family bonding thing for us to do and a nice family memento, plus their moms never let them draw on anything at their houses and I'm the "cool aunt" 🤣

Anyway, I gessoed the area I was gonna paint and redid the sketch. Already looks better, right?

Yup, he's pink. Yup, that's my concept design on the seat to the left. I really struggled with getting the shade of pink I wanted. I never mixed paint colours before to get a custom colour, so this was a learning experience.

Yeah, his mane is big. I tried shading the bridge of his nose lighter, but this is also something I never did before. I never really painted much and my teachers only cared about the students who were already good at art and didn't need help, so this is me learning as a go. And I'm still scared at this point I fucked up the table 🤣

This actually took me like a week to do in total, so it was a slow process of painting bits at a time, stopping to see if I liked it, trying to fix any mistakes I made and then taking another break to rest.

Oh look, he changed colour!

The lighting isn't great, but I mixed another two shades of pink, including one metallic and went over him. Don't worry, imma fix the scruffy parts, but this is a big improvement already 😁

Okay, he's a little scruffy still, but that's on purpose. He has a fluffy texture that's hard to see because of the lighting, but it looks better in person. I decided not to fuss further with the colour and blending because I knew I'd fuck up. I saw a good stopping point so I took it. The inner layer of leaves came together quick although I was worrying how I'd do the veins in them. No matter what I do with leaves they always look terrible the second I add the details.

Getting close to finished now. This was the end of last week. I went with a succulent type leaf and left off fine details. He's kinda cartoony looking so I think it works.

Adding shading and outlines in places just to tidy it up, but this is pretty much done. Pics are kinda bad, but whenever I look at it I'm happy with how cute it is, so I'm happy with the end result.

Got a tiny bit heavy handed with the sealant but this is all done! That's not coming off the table without some effort. I love the shading on his eyes and face, and I think it's a nice contrast to how simple the mane is. He looks like a happy lion and I'm happy with it ❤️

#artblr #artblr community #noob artist #art #Don't be @ing me pointing out my mistakes because idgaf kthnxbyeee

[baked-hylian]

Tagged by @hirazuki -- thanks buddy!

1.Three ships?

Two off the bat are Wangxian from MDZS and Hualian from TGCF, the third would be Zelink from the LoZ franchise.

2. First ever ship?  

Zelink was baby Carl's first ship

3. Last song?

In the Backroom by Syudou I will die on the hill that it's the best song used for the endings in the csm anime

4. Last movie?

Sonic the Hedgehog on Netflix, I really am not up to date on movies much anymore

5. Currently reading?

Well I literally just finished the second book in the Burning Kingdoms series, The Oleander Sword, by Tasha Suri. Now I'm currently on re:Zero volume 20.

6. Currently watching?

I've been rewatching Naruto. So much Naruto. Way too much Naruto tbh in less than six months I've plowed through the first part and most of shippuden (on episode 367 meow.) Although it helps that I'm skipping episodes that only contain filler content.

Started the new Trigun reboot and I really enjoy the use of CGI in it so far, tbh it's way better than I had anticipated and arguably, I think it looks better than the current Berserk reboot. However the pacing in the new Trigun feels, a little whack at times.

I'm also slowing watching The Untamed, as I can't get enough of Wei Ying and the actor playing him does such a wonderful job (same with Lan Zhan's actor)

7. Currently consuming?

Water

8. Currently craving?

The motivation to repot my one plant that is in desperate need of being removed from the terra cotta one I got it in before it dries out entirely because I can't be bothered to ever to remember to water it regularly.

____________________________________________________

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Rules: answer the questions and tag fifteen mutuals.

1. Are you named after anyone?

A soap opera character, Days of Our Lives iirc

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last night because I was laughing so hard at my cat being stupid about something (this is a regular occurrence with her)

3. Do you have kids?

I mean, if you count the kind that walk on all fours and bark or meow at you? Then two.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I've never used sarcasm once in my life, ever.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their body language and how they carry themselves

6. What’s your eye colour?

Atm, a like blue-y green-y grey-y mess, with a hint of orange. Usually just depends on the lighting but I've never had a consistent results

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Horror movies

8. Any special talents?

Stupid luck. I don't win contests, or prizes, but I have the best luck when it comes to procrastinating something and still getting it done with the results I needed just in the nick of time. Getting my driver's license is a good example as it was only a week out from expiring after my booked drive test. Which I booked during covid, and when everyone was struggling to get booked within a reasonable amount of time, but I managed to luck out with the one time slot left available in my city.

9. Where were you born?

Canada

10. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, annoying my cat

11. Have you any pets?

We established earlier that these are my children, one cat and one dog

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I used to be pretty good at volleyball, but I was short and could barely spike the ball past the net, so I didn't make the team after the first year.

13. How tall are you?

About 5'4''

14. Favourite subject in school?

Writer's craft. It was the creative writing course offered at my school, but I mainly liked it because I had spare before it so I would always go home and get stoned before coming back to write lol

15. Dream job?

Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be an author. It's something I still kinda struggle with due to something stupid that was said to me when I was 12, but I'm overcoming that.

I tag whomstever wants to do this! Because I don't have enough mutuals for it

#No but seriously my luck is stupid #and seems to only apply to adult related things #and nothing fun #I just wanna win a cool prize at a crane game or something #not always get my government shit in order without getting penalized over being late

[mandoposting]

1, 9, 25 for art asks?

1. Compare your first and last pieces from this year! Where do you think you improved?

Oh wow. Yeah, definitely got more confident in my style and pushed myself to finish more pieces. So many of my previous works just sit unfinished, but I finished SO Many this year I honestly struggle to believe it sometimes. Also became more confident in my ability to draw from memory! Wolffe was drawn 100% from memory, whereas the Mandos were all referenced in some way. And while my recall isn't great, I'm happy with where it is.

9. Explain the process behind one of your pieces, if you remember!

Putting this under a cut because it ended up getting quite long :')

Whoof, OK. Let's give this a shot! So this piece is one that isn't perfect by any means, but definitely had the most planning put into it!

I knew exactly how I wanted it to look, but I knew it would be trickey to execute because of how tied to background elements it is, which I struggle to integrate with the main characters a lot. So I thumbnailed several variations on the pose and placement and ended up combining the results of two into the final piece.

Obviously these look like uhhh shit, but I just wanted to rough out the basic elements.

Then I gathered some references of the Havoc Marauder's interior and this Black Series set of props!

Then I basically traced over the traditional sketch, adjusting any wonky anatomy that I saw and tried to make it as readable as possible while maintaining a kinda sketchy look that I like.

Then I generally like to have a looser approach to how I drew backgrounds so I basically freehanded the rest without line art, just kinda blocking in color and refining them until they look right. With this one however I did end up going over the panels with lines because of how geometric they are. I remember constantly checking references to make sure I was getting all the buttons, all the little details, all the right shapes. What was also fun to experiment with was how to make the buttons glow! I ended up going with an airbrush layer of colours with an Add (Glow) layer on top that I slightly motion blurred. I really like how it came out!

I then colored in The Fellas. What's quite fun about Bad Batch armor is that it has a bit more texture to it than reg armor, so I gave the armor its own noise layer to emphasise that, as well as just generally scuffing it up.

After that it was pretty much just messing around with blending layers and such to get the nice darks and glow effects in the ship. I did play around with giving each character their own glowing rim, but it ended up being more distracting than anything, so I just outlined the lineart in white where the highlights should be.

And that's it! I hope that was interesting.

25. Did you have any art goals coming into the year? How far did you achieve them?

I did indeed have art goals this year! As with most years, my goal is to complete more pieces. Lineart, color, shading backgrounds, the whole lot. And this year it the first year I've really done it! Which I'm super happy about. Another goal was to do more non-fandom art, but between university work and the stuff I made for here, I didn't really have time! While I am happy with the pieces I made for university, I wish I had done more non-fandom art outside of it. But doing fandom art makes me happy, so I'm still glad I did it! Balancing I guess.

Thanks so much for the ask!

End of Year Artist Asks

#this was so fun! thank you sm #really happy with what i did this year even if it isnt all perfect #asks #ask games

[mint-yooxgi]

Hello!

Do you have any tips for coming up with endings to your stories? It's just that to me you are one of the legends of the yandere genre bc you never really take it super far (and like people can write what they write but I prefer your stuff) and you still keep it fresh and thrilling. You're also one of the writers on tumblr I've been reading stuff from for the longest. I always struggle to come up with endings (probably pretty common) but yours always seem to be good.

From what I can tell (and correct me if I'm wrong) you tend to end your darker stories after a thrill. Almost like there is little-to-no falling action because the story ends right after the point of the reveal to the mc that whatever guy the fic is about is a yandere, which to me is always the climax that the story is building toward. And that works for the genre bc we as readers like that we remain in that state of being caught and kinda in limbo in a way. Most mainstream storylines would have the mc get out of that mess bu the end, but here we want something a little different haha 😅

So do you agree that that's generally your thought process? Or do you have something else that you have in mind with your endings? Or anything to add?

Thank you and have a nice day! 💖

Hi! OMG, first of all I just want to say thank you so much for this message, it's really sweet and literally puts a smile on my face every time I read it! I'm so happy to hear you enjoy my stories and how I write yandere, thank you for your continued support!

Endings to stories can for sure be a tricky part of the writing process, and for me usually I'll have at least a vague idea of how I want a story to end before I even start writing it (other times the ending ends up changing after I've started, though). I tend to always have the big reveal at the end though, so you'd be right about that. I find stories to be more entertaining that way, personally, depending on how I've written the yandere.

Honestly, I don't personally think the end reveal is always the climax itself, but you could definitely say that! Most of the time though, I like to think of the endings as a result or consequences of the climax of the character's actions. For example, in You're Next, I would consider the climax to be when the OC comes home to discover her boyfriend has been brutally murdered. The subsequent falling action would then be the OC getting kidnapped by Jongin and his final actions as a result of that climax. Same with in Gilded Gold, to me the climax (no pun intended here) is the smut scene, and then the subsequent falling action is the aftermath of Jaehyun thinking everything is going perfect until it all falls apart. That's my main thought process when I'm coming up with endings most of the time, having it all seem okay only for the rose coloured glasses to be harshly ripped off to the reality of the situation. To me, not only is that entertaining, but also emphasizes just how far the yandere character will go in order to ensure they have their love at the end of all things.

I also will admit I enjoy leaving more of an open ending free for interpretation for the reader. That way they can imagine what happens next. This is also a big reason why I won't write part twos to my stories. Not only do I feel as if there's nothing more for me to add, but it takes that autonomy away from whatever ending the reader has thought of happens after the actual end of the story.

Does that make sense? I hope so!

Anyways, thank you so much for this ask, and if you have anymore questions or anything of the sort, feel free to send them in! ❤️

#ask #my writing

[doof-doofblog]

"I'm Not Going Anywhere!"

Tuesday 7th April 2020

Good Evening folks! How has your Tuesday been? Today i'm really happy to bring some new spoilers which have been released over the last 24 hours! Looks like there's some juicy stuff coming up in the next few episodes! I have many to talk to you about so i'm going to get right stuck in. The first spoiler is that Tiffany is going to be dropping a huge bombshell on Keegan! New pictures reveal that Keegan will have a run-in with the police (again) and will find himself getting arrested. This happens after both Tiffany and Keegan attend a party hosted by Vinny, after learning that Chantelle is going to be helping them with a pay day loan. They go out to celebrate their good news, only when the evening turns sour and a brick is thrown at a police car, Keegan is unjustly in trouble with the police! Tiffany is inconsolable and rushes to Jack for help, after being interviewed Keegan is released under investigation and it's then that Tiffany drops the bombshell on him! What could it be? My guess is ... she's pregnant! What do you guys think will be Tiffany's news for Keegan? Can things get better for the young couple?

The next big spoiler I'm looking forward to sharing with you is Leo's Mum, Michaela comes back to the square, looking for Whitney! Whitney has only just been released from prison as she's out on bail for the murder of Leo. Has Michaela heard about her son's death? Is she back to get revenge on Whitney? From what pictures reveal, both ladies try to have a civil conversation, but it all goes down hill once Michaela shows her true colours and blames Whitney for what's happened. Both Gray and Chantelle try to console Whitney and take her to the Vic, only for Michaela to return and begins to cause a scene. Once Whitney is home she confides in Sonia about her fears about going to prison. What's going to happen next for Whitney? Will she ever be able to move on from this? Please let me know what your thoughts and opinions on this story-line are, i'd love to hear what you think! 

The last little bit of news I'll be sharing with you is that young Tommy Moon is going to confide in Kush in the next few episodes. Fans will know that Jessie Wallace was suspended from the soap for a few months, which in result saw her character, Kat, quickly having to dash away from Walford to help a friend in need. It is yet unknown who Kat has gone to help, rumours circulating, it could be Stacey. But in her absence, poor Kush has been left to hold the fort and look after not only her young sons but also Jean and Mo. Jean happily reveals to Kush that she is no longer wearing her wig as her hair is growing back, however he'll seem to notice a change in young Tommy's behaviour. Later on the young boy will tell Kush that he hates going to school and asks him to keep a secret. What could the secret be? Could he potentially be being bullied? Whatever the situation may be, lets hope that Kush will be able to help the poor lad through!

I hope you've enjoyed these spoilers, I'm looking forward to finding out what the outcome of all these story-lines are going to be! Now, lets focus on tonight, I think it started off a bit slow tonight but it soon got pretty good! So, I think my theory about Dotty playing off both Bobby and Peter is going to be the way she's going to make Ian squirm and eventually tell the truth. It's clear now that she's not interested in having the Arches, she want justice for Dennis I guess? And maybe she does believe that Sharon deserves to hear the truth. It's been made aware now that Bobby has a crush on Dotty, unbeknown to the poor lad that everyone knows, obviously, Ian's worst nightmare! Dotty is literally going to make Ian sweat isn't she? Eventually he's not going to be able to cope and he will crack and finally admit the truth, I can see it happening! I do want to say though, I'm enjoying the friendship that's building between Dotty and Vinny, I never thought these two characters would be brought together, but I like they way they have both confided in each other recently, i'm looking forward to seeing more of their friendship! What do you guys think is going to happen? Is Dotty going to use the Beale brothers to get to Ian? Let me know what your thoughts are about this story-line, I'd love to hear your thoughts!  

How sweet are Karen and Billy, please???!!! I really do love these two together, I know it's quite an odd pairing, but they fit so well together I think. Do you guys feel for Mitch? Because in all honesty, I don't. I don't really want him and Karen to be together, they're relationship is good as it is, why change things? I'm sure Karen loves Mitch in the sense that he's the father of her children, but I'm sure that's the extent it goes for her ... Random thought actually ... who is Bernie's father?! Does she and Keanu share the same father or is her father someone completely different? Have I missed something or did EastEnders never really explain that one? Someone please remind me! ... Anyways, I still don't think Karen will leave with the baby, there is definitely going to be something that stops her from leaving.

Ha! Who else loves the banter between Shirley and Tina? They are such great characters aren't they? They bring a sense of light humour and comedy to the soap, which is completely what we need right now! I was kinda expecting Shirley to go mad after hearing the news about them selling the Vic, but it was just so nice and humbling to see them both support Mick and Linda in their decision. They understand it's to help Linda, and as Shirley said, "This place is just bricks and mortar. It's family that matters!" ... I don't think I could love her character any more!! But that also leaves the question ... where are Shirley and Tina going to live if Mick and Linda get a place of their own? Will Shirley and Tina possibly flat-share or something? Either way, I'm looking forward to seeing what's in store for Carter's once they've moved out the Vic! 

The one moment that really got to me tonight and really touched me, was Phil finding out about Ben's hearing. I found it sad that when Ben went round to see him, and Phil was kinda testing to him to see if he could hear, it got to me ... when Phil went into the kitchen and talking about making him a cup of tea and having "Two spoons of arsenic" ... It just touched me! The realisation that Ben couldn't hear a word he was saying ... I can't really describe how it made me feel and how perfect I felt that scene was. I just felt it was so cleverly done, the script writers and both Max Bowden and Steve McFadden playing the iconic Father and Son duo, it's just perfect writing and acting! Even that last scene when Ben came back and he was clearly struggling on being able to hear what his Dad was saying, Phil knew just exactly what he needed to do. He touched him reassuringly on the arm, wrote down those few words that Ben just longs to hear from his Father .. "I am proud of you!" ... Did you see the look in Ben's face after he read those words, even though he couldn't hear his Dad say those words, it was just what he needed to know! ... And that hug!! That was an aching hug for both father and son, I hope to god the operation that Ben has will improve his hearing ... or could it potentially make it worse? Either way, it's going to be a long road for Ben, Phil, Callum and everyone involved. Ben's hearing loss story-line has been one of my favourites so far this year ... I think the script writers have dealt with the issue perfectly and it's been acted out phenomenally by the amazing Max Bowden, but also by other actors involved in this story-line ... Tony Clay, Steve McFadden, Jamie Borthwick ... they've all been fantastic, I'm hoping things can only get better for Ben, even though there may be a long road ahead before his hearing gets better.  

What storylines are looking forward to seeing progressing within the next few weeks? If you have any thoughts or theories or opinions you'd like to share then feel free to share your comments with me, i'd love to hear from you! Thank you again for reading! I know it's going to be another long week until we have another episode, but keep yourself safe and we will get through this together! Thanks guys! xXx

#eastenders #spoilers #benmitchell #philmitchell #shirleycarter #dottycotton #ianbeale #karentaylor

[musashi]

I follow Game Grumps but not super closely (I dont watch their streams), and I was wondering what you meant by reading about what Arins doing? I thought he was doing okay and happy, but I also haven't followed them super closely so I'm probably super out of the loop

i’ve just kinda been a fan since the beginning (like, jon era beginning, i started watching gg in HIGH SCHOOL and im fuckin 23 now) and i kinda used to stan arin and suzy both. i felt a lot of protection over arin because i noticed members of the community villainized him a lot, and they didn’t seem to really have much to go on other than like... he’s an angry dude who’s internet famous. when people would talk abt him they’d always say they didn’t like him because of ‘vibes’ and when him and jon stopped working together a LOT of people sided with jon because jon was the more Sympathetic One(tm) in the breakup which just made me stan arin harder because i’ve been a victim of ‘the angry one is always the wicked one’ my whole life.

(i know jon is a fucking white nationalist and all those people were wrong on principle, and my dislike of arin going forward does not imply i agree w/ them. fuck jon. fuck jon forever, the only good nazi is a dead one.)

and i still believe he was a good person back then, but he’s just really fallen, and now when i find myself reading those same sentiments about him i rly don’t resonate much anymore w/ the fiery child who would defend everything he did.

the most notable incident people call out is the fact that a fan once quoted the ‘goddamnit ross’ meme at arin (i think at a con?) and arin went off on them for it and basically said it was an in-joke and that he hated how popular it had gotten in the fandom because it was something ross’s friends did in good fun and it had gotten out of hand, completely ignoring the fact that arin once MADE AND SOLD MERCH with the phrase on it. the fan then donated money during a livestream with an apology message attached and arin CALLED OUT THE FAN ON THE LIVESTREAM. for apologizing. arin referred to them as ‘some rando on the internet’ completely disrespecting them even though they were. a fucking fan of his.

that was the first thing that kinda coloured my vision but the closer i look the more i realize he’s just... so mean? i liked game grumps because it was this show i could put on and i felt like i was chilling with them and playing games and talking about life and stuff. but now you can’t podcast with game grumps, because arin and danny don’t really talk, arin just screams at whatever’s on the screen with basically no interludes away from that. when danny expresses joy at anything arin doesn’t agree with, arin utterly steamrolls danny as if he isn’t ALLOWED to like things. danny more than once has tried to go into one of the stories he tells, the ones that were the reason i fell for him in the first place, and arin will interrupt him with some seriously juvenile lowest common denominator south park humour.

and the whole... not actually being good at games thing has just gotten so frustrating. there was a time where i liked it, because it was fun to watch arin rage and come up with creative ways of expressing that rage (battle kid. think battle kid.) but nowadays if he can’t play a game he always leans on the side of ‘this is bad.’ he skips tutorials and then denounces games entirely and disrespects the shit out of them, it’s always the game’s fault and never his. i’d watched every single zelda playthrough they’d ever done and i knew once i saw skyward sword come out that i just couldn’t anymore. that’s my favourite zelda game, and i knew arin would just bitch about every single second of it, and apparently he did. he did and whenever danny tried to lighten the mood, he apparently just. talked over him and basically said fuck you.

and i guess hearing arin was no longer straightedge just kinda like, really made me wake up and realize he’s not the same person he was. i remember he used to say he didn’t drink because hearing the way people described it, he thought he’d be an alcoholic if he ever tried. and i think he was right. he got piss ass drunk on an undertale live stream recently, enough so that danny had to just short of beg the dude to drive him home. and that’s his JOB. grumps is his JOB, and he just gets drunk now and sucks at games.

beyond that idk he sounds terrible at managing a business... multiple people who have worked with him have said shit just really sucks... he seems to be struggling for money as he’s selling a bunch of shit (he just recently sold a bunch of RWBY action figures monty fucking oum gave him, which if you know that name you know why that’s fucked up) and poorly managing events (the most recent being a garage sale they didn’t cap properly resulting in hundreds of fans out in the burning LA summer getting completely fucked over, iirc without water or anything) and i’m just. fed up. this isn’t even half of what i’ve read about & noticed. there’s a lot of stupid shit on rantgrumps but like...... i’ve checked a lot of this stuff with my own ass eyes and i’m just so disappointed and sad.

#wank / #i guess #Anonymous #wendy answers

[thewhimsicalfairy]

DAY 0 - a chronological documentation of this non-relationship

right from the start, i told myself, i told everyone who would listen/knew that i was just not gonna take this too seriously...

as with all online dates, they have a tendency to drop off or i have a tendency to lose interest very quickly but somehow you stuck around, yet i still refused to entertain the idea that there might be something...

2 May: we connected on CMB, you were very open about your history which i listened with an open mind and appreciated you for being open and honest about it...

we traded numbers since the chat was closing and then continued chatting from there...

22 May: met up ftf for the first time at Oasia Hotel's Marmalade Pantry, someone was in grey tee (knitted i believe) and camou pants haha the convo flowed and all but still it was just like any other first dates i've been on, always keeping my expectations in check... you surprised me with sandwich choices though, promising to bring me a jar of the infamous peanut butter from Amsterdam (from your upcoming work trip) and proceeding to hand me a box of 2 nicely wrapped sandwiches, one creamy and one non-creamy version, both with the crusts off. it showed me you were meticulous and caring...just noting your good qualities... before we parted ways you asked if we could be in touch...i said sure being the cool girl that i am...

1 June: we continued texting non-stop, rapid-fire style, playing 20 questions...asking all the right and wrong questions...we’d already escalated to sexting by then...and then you left for Amsterdam. truth be told i had this crazy urge to run to your office area to bid you farewell prior to you leaving for your trip...like give you a hug or something...but i reined in that crazy bitch. we continued texting all the way till you boarded your plane and then you asked me to send you my picture. i've received such crazy requests before and i was kinda wary but i took some anyhow (ok more like a lot) and then proceeded to ponder whether to send or not for the next 50min or so...as well as ask the Internet gods 'what does it mean when he asks for a photo' (to varying degrees of responses) you even noticed my absence when i was busy taking photos but i sent 1 in the end after i confirmed that u were not gonna be doing anything funny to it (not sure if i’m supposed to be flattered if anyone wanks off to my photo but anyway)

and then you sent me yours just like that (and it is still my favourite photo of you to date haha)...and promised to text the moment you land and all...you were very responsible with your words then...

1-7 June: you were in Amsterdam for work but it was as if i was just right beside you on this same trip cos the texting never let up despite the time difference. you would send me pictures of everything that you were doing, eating, ootds, everything and there was no stopping the conversations... and still you reeled me in...

13 June: we met up for a 2nd time, this time at Pagi Sore (100am) and depsite constant texting, it felt a little awks nonetheless to be meeting ftf after so long so everyone was still kinda on our best behaviour haha (but i'm always well behaved) and you presented me with the gifts you got for me at Amsterdam (the peanut butter as promised) and fancy chocolates that you picked up at the airport. confirmed mentally that gift giving was defo one of your top love language. and still you reeled me in...

and we texted some more, non-stop, impromptu lunches in between and i'd happily skip out of office just to hang out ditching the girls (resulting in the girls just saying how about i let them know when i would be next joining them for lunch =x)

20 June: dinner and drinks at Westin's Cook & Brew...this was kinda like the night you will provide a tell-all on your past relationships - and tell you did (a terribly colourful dating history if i may add) and the night went on... we continued on with more drinks at the outdoor bar area...normally it would've been a good idea but that night it was terribly windy and i was kinda chilly despite the alcohol warming me up so i was glad to have my jacket with me (the same one i wore to our first date you noted). and then it started to rain and we had to move back indoors but we didn't attempt to leave even though i was already feeling buzzed... not before long the bar had to close so i had to down my wine in a quick shot and we left...and took a roundabout walk to around the area on a bench and talked some more we both agreed the night would have carried on if not for the fact that tomorrow was still a working day... the question of what we were looking for came up (i asked this question first) and you said you were just looking around... we got home on separate taxis and i made a mental note of your response and that you hadn't made a move on me yet so i was relatively clear on where i stood on this (meh's advice, especially after watching 'He's Just Not That Into You') - you were basically not interested hah so i managed my expectations and thought well a least it has been interesting...when we got home...you did text to say you did notice my choice of outfit (my all time favourite slip dress really)...pity you didn’t manage to take a good look at the cowl back...

29 June: you finally asked me out on a weekend...actually i did casually mention to you that my mom was wondering why this guy i was seeing never asks me out on weekends...and if he’s got a family and all that’s why weekends are off-limits...(a mother’s intuition can be so spot-on but clearly it’s way more complicated than that...anyhow...) and i was ecstatic to say the least even if it was a date that was made that same day...tbh i was inclined to decline cos i don’t really do impromptu dates in general...(like please respect a girl’s time even if i don’t actually have solid plans...vegging at home and netflixing is kinda like a plan ok...)but i okayed it and just had to check what was the general plan cos a girl’s gotta dress for it you know...you brought me to the Ford Musuem having known that i am a sucker for museums covering the history of the war...even though you actually only went recently but you still accompanied me through it...it was also then you realised that i don’t carry my IC with me cos entry was free for SGreans...truth be told i have been to the Ford Musuem...but that was a few years back and i didn’t quite mind rehashing the place again (FOC why not right) they might have updated the exhibits and the experience would have been different with you...and rightly so cos there was so many times when you had your back towards me i wanted to give you a back hug...that you liked receiving them came up several times while we texting...but i never acted on it haha cos i didn’t want to seem i was throwing myself at you...a girl’s gotta to keep her pride in check you know...

after Ford you drove us to Punggol area just to show me the nice relaxing eating space...but we didn’t actually have dinner there lol...we moved on to Punggol Settlement to dine at White Restaurant...the only place you will eat bee hoon cos that placed is famous for it and with good reason cos the food is genuinely good...we had quite the spread, other than the bee hoon we had prawn paste chicken and sambal kang kong :))) happy camper that night cos i appreciate a good meal...i paid for dinner since you were so sweet to drive us around that was least i could do...back in the car you asked if i needed to head home...but i was up for anything...so you suggested a drive and asked if i had been to Jewel since it opened and i hadn’t so we ended up there...

and we continued texting...

1 July: we met for lunch at the Nasi Lemak place opposite Realty Centre (which has since died) and post-lunch i was saying how i was concerned that my hair would smell and all (cos indoor seating with the food cooking inside doesn't make for a great combination) and you reached out and smelt my hair...that was the single most intimate move that i'd ever received and then before we parted you pulled me into a hug and i just went for it... like i didn't do the a-hug or half hug kind of bullshit but a full on body to body contact hug...and it felt nice...i think my mind kinda stopped processing whilst we were hugging but yeah i really really liked the smell of your cologne since then another fact: i was so turned on from that hug my panties were basically soaked; i had to wear my dress the wrong way round so that it wouldn't look like i stained myself... you had that kind of an effect on me...and i think my walls came tumbling down...

4 July: dinner at a Suntec's Unagi place (your choice since we didn't want to deal with the queue at Man Man) and apparently you took off early that night to pick up your car... someone wanted to drive us to some place nice after... i saw that there was 1-for-1 happy hour on the highball and you okayed it even though you were driving

you drove us Marina Barrage and there you said that you liked me and wrapped me in your arms when you said it and i was in a complete daze i mean i was aware that there was something brewing but i wasn't sure of the signs and i've been very wary about 自作多情 so i just maintained whatever it was we had and then this confession...you said i clearly liked you otherwise i wouldn't be hanging out with you which was true and then you asked what was it that i liked about you as you wrapped me in your arms again and i was genuinely at a loss for words...i've received confessions before but never one where it was clearly mutual and in such an intimate setting...the wordsmith basically decided to quit on me and i struggled to find the right words i settled for ‘you make me feel safe’ and that was the absolute truth...i never doubted your intentions before as you were always so honest and forthcoming with the situation back at home and even when you said you couldn’t make this official not until your divorce is finalised in Dec...when in reality not many people around you know about us i accepted it...i trusted you completely... and you took your hand in mine and it was the interlocking kind...and my heart felt all kinds of things it has never felt before... another fact: again super turned on by the hug we shared, panties were soaking wet again but thank god for panty liners otherwise it'll be a different walk of shame for me... i really liked it when you placed your hand on my bum (it felt good somehow), and i definitely felt a boner somewhere...

5 July: dinner and movie (...) i was kinda sad when the night ended, i didn't want it to end cos i always enjoyed our time together, there wasn't enough time anyhow and i gave you a peck on the cheek cos that was all i could muster at that point before we parted...

(...to be continued...)

basically once the touch barrier was broken, i wanted to touch you so badly all the time. literally ALL.THE.TIME. even if it was just stolen moments at Donki i gave you backhugs and random kisses and hand holding...i couldn't get enough... i confirmed one of my top love languages was touch and i wanted to communicate that thoroughly...you meant that much to me...

x x x

and as much as you are wont to admit it, i was defo a rebound, all the signs pointed to it and and it still tears me up inside i basically became collateral damage as you tried to seek solace from the pain... the Heartbreak Spotify Playlist is definitely not helping my case but it’s like beating a dead horse right...you just keep going at it until you’re numb i suppose...but i had no idea how i could relate so much to these songs till now it’s pretty crazy...some favourite tracks that can set me off right now are: Camila Cabelo’s Consequences X Ambassadors’ Unsteady Birdy’s Skinny Love

#post break up #heartache #행복한 시간