#i think i'd truly be happy

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

#SVSSS #Shen yuan #shang qinghua #cumplane #Normally I don't tag with ship names but this one is a special case. #Confession time: When I first had SVSSS described to me I 100% thought the main pairing was between these two. #The dynamic is impeccable! Even if its 'just a fan ship' I stand by it. #Sorry to the people who like to think of them as handsome pretty boys. I don't. #These guys sit in their rooms and use the computer for 90% of waking hours. They are not looking after themselves well enough for good skin #They can be cute in their own way. People with acne and missed shaving spots deserve to have their romances too. #And sloppy hate makeouts <3 #Hi Sol! I truly did whoop and holler when drawing your name for the raffle! #You've been so kind and generous towards me and I'd happy to finally have the opportunity to give back some of that joy! #Thank you so much for all your support and the incredible fanart <3 You've made my day so many times! #I hope this silly mini comic is to your liking! #Playing around with colours for this one was a blast!

[jayswing101]

The doctrine of discovery is one of the core concepts used to justify colonialism, especially of the settler variety. This is what the Canadian Museum of Human Rights says about it:

The Doctrine of Discovery is a legal and religious concept that has been used for centuries to justify Christian colonial conquest. It advanced the idea that European peoples, culture and religion were superior to all others.

The doctrine of discovery comes from a series of declarations from the pope in the 1400s that suggested christianity and christian cultures were superior to all other religions and cultures, and basically said that christian europeans had the right to invade and claim land and resources from non-christian people, and also had the right to subjugate and convert those populations. It's literally at the very core of colonial history and the myth of white supremacy and christian supremacy.

When the pope was visiting Indigenous communities in canada last summer, more than an apology for the catholic church's role in residential schools, what people were asking for was the overturning of the doctrine of discovery. An apology is meaningless as long as that doctrine stands.

Today, the vatican formally rejected the doctrine of discovery. It's a symbolic gesture, sure. But it's still a sign that things are changing. Space was held for Indigenous voices, and the vatican of all places listened to them.

Obviously, there's still work to be done, and colonization didn't just suddenly end because of this announcement, but this is still huge news, and it feels like we're a tiny step closer to Land Back.

#even 5 years ago i dont think this would've been possible you know #so even tho it is largely symbolic it's a move in the right direction and something worth celebrating #also the fact the catholic church listened to the demands of Indigenous people and responded to them so quickly?? #yo @ canadian gov y'all are worse than the catholic church 🤡 🤡 how does that feel??? #y'all gonna speed up progress on those calls to action or ??? #no but honestly this is the kind of history i am happy to witness you know? #i truly never thought I'd see the day when the vatican said #'no actually we don't support this. the doctrine of discovery is wrong and we will not uphold it any longer' #doctrine of discovery #chritianity #history #indigenous #canada #links in the comments for reference #also just bc the doctrine was rejected doesn't mean reconciliation is done #the rcmp is currently actively invading Wet'suwet'en again to try and force through cgl's v illegal pipeline #this is a moment to celebrate yes #but it's not the end of the fight yet right #indigenous sovereignty is still being violated #land theft is still happening #and this doesn't mean that suddenly all of that is behind us

[sideblogformentalhealtshit]

Am I the only one who despises "pervasive drive for autonomy" as an alternative to "pathological demand avoidance"?

PDA takes away so much of my ability to decide for myself what to do; it robs me of my autonomy. I struggle with doing things I enjoy because I make them into demands in my head, I can't watch weekly-airing shows because I tell myself that I have to, that I love this show, that I need to watch the next episode, and then no longer being able to. Because my brain has decided that it just Must go into fight or flight because... I am trying to decide what to do.

It just feels... gross, I guess, to dress it up as "i just have a strong sense of autonomy, i just don't like being told what to do ^_^" when it is genuinely disabling to me, not just in when other people try to influence me, but also when I want to do something and PDA prevents me.

#personal #pda #pathological demand avoidance #pervasive drive for autonomy #u are free to disagree!! in fact if u do i'd be happy to hear ur perspective (as long as u remain civil pls) #autism #autism pda #actually autistic #idk if i rly got my point across #it being that PDA actively robs me of my ability to truly decide what to do. it actively takes away my autonomy. #for me seeing 'pervasive drive for autonomy' immediately turns my mood sour. i don't think i'll ever like the term #like. pda IS what restricts my autonomy and freedom to choose what i will do. why are we dressing it up as a reasonable thing to experience #i am willing to acknowledge i might be wrong but i think my feelings on this are very reasonable

[frecklystars]

sorry for the long ass post but this has always my favorite scene in the entire film - for obvious reasons - and im so glad greta talked about it and the way she worded it made me laugh so hard i had tears in my eyes. haha... god. my boyfriend sobbing his eyes out over the metaphorical crusts on his patriarchy sandwich......

#i dont think ill ever love anybody quite the same way that i love Ken #because he came into my life during a time when i was like. dying. not in a haha millennial way. i was genuinely fucking dying. #he is so. special. to me. he is so... everything to me and i truly mean it every time that i say it #i miss and love him so deeply so WHOLEHEARTEDLY *EVERY* single day #and i didn't used to be able to do that anymore! but he!! HE made me feel SAFE again and thats INSANE #because i was SO UNSAFE for SO goddamn long! and the feeling of safety is STILL unfamiliar to me and foreign and horrifying #but he's constantly such a Safe character. Barbie too even moreso. and it's so refreshing after feeling Unsafe for so. long. #i spent over a year feeling like my whole world had ended and i was destined to die but then he! shows up! in my life! #and no other character was able to spark life back into my heart the way he did #AND I HAD *TRIED* I had tried so hard to get into old special interests and find new ones but NOTHING worked #i was just an empty husk. just a shell of a person having flashbacks *constantly* #feeling unsafe *constantly* suffering *constantly* every single second i was awake i was in so much pain #and then every time i'd sleep i'd have the goriest nightmares about all the abuse i was put through and all the F/Os i'd lost #but then Ken Carson plucked a star out of the sky and said 'hey sweet girl you don't know me but i miss you and love you' #'and barbie is here and im here and allan is here and everyone loves you already. we're so happy to meet you' #'and everything is gonna be okay because we've got you! we came for you! and we will fight for you!!' #and then hearing greta comment abt this scene made me laugh so hard and then it hits me. i laugh now. #i laugh so often because of This Dude. i didnt used to be able to laugh before but now i laugh like i used to #i used to say all the time about my past main F/O i had lost from abuse from an IRL person 'i will never love anyone more' #and true i will never love anyone more than i loved my starlight. but here is the thing #i will never love anyone the way i love Barbie. i will never love anyone the way i love Ken Carson #because it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel joy for so long and it was. THIS MOVIE that brought me back #when this movie is so full of the most specific triggers. colors. clothes. yet i push thru it every time #and its because these characters make me feel THAT safe!!!! like if i see a trigger i tell myself that's BARBIE'S Thing. and Barbie is safe #ive never ever once had a flashback during the barbie movie NOT even once even tho logically i Should. but i dont. #because these F/Os are like!!! sweet girl!!! we've got you!!! and i'm like yeah you sure do now don't ever let me go #god i cry my eyes out every single time i think about this i need to sleep LMFAO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT #love notes #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-

[love-at-first-bite]

Laios wouldn't judge me or make me feel bad for being excited about things I enjoy.

#victor beeps #sometimes i feel guilty for being happy #i hate feeling like too much all the time #i always feel too weird for my best friend. i could tell i was annoying her tonight but switching topics so much #and when i got in i was infodumpping to my mom about resident evil and she just waved me off #we were watching that ''welcome to raccoon city'' movie and it made very grumpy #NOT the topic for today but i do NOT like that movie #just. i wouldn't get rid of my autism for anything it's a part of me and makes me *Me* #but it is still a disability and makes a lot of things hard for me and makes me feel Not So Great sometimes #i love my best friend and gc friends so much but i still feel like i can't be 100% myself around them #but laios would finally be that person! #he'd *get* me. we'd just get each other so well #he wouldn't get annoyed when i spoke really fast and bounced around on topics #he wouldn't wave me off or just want me to shut up #i think i'd finally feel truly loved and accepted and wanted #i didn't expect laios to remind me so much of myself! #to everyone else he's weird and off-putting and annoying #and i am too #but to each other we're so wonderful and perfect #we could be in love with each other in peace without ever worrying that we're too much for the other

[gideonisms]

I read a lot of smut for someone who hates interacting with people face to face, having physical contact, following complicated or obscure rules, performing socially expected romantic gestures, and is constantly distracted by the logistics or practical annoyances of a situation

#i write a lot of romance for someone who hates nearly everything it involves #i'm like. so here's a list of things that i would dislike. that's hot #always midway between fight or flight empathy cringe and oh hot! #depending on the time of month how much i've eaten how behind i am on school work whether it's hot out- #sometimes as much as i'd like to be in love again i truly think i'll live a happy life with a cat and various friends forever #but my blorbos will fuck #and well sometimes. it is morbid curiosity about what other people find sexy

[todayisafridaynight]

What kinds of prescient stuff/callbacks to later-established lore do you think they'd put in K3? Like how they had Majima making cryptic comments in K1 that were clearly about Saejima, or how they put Yuki and Makoto in K2.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm i dunno :)

#snap chats #genuinely though. i have no idea LMAO #cant even begin to think of anything. i have clams for brains tho #also i wanna take my dog for a walk before i have to drive back to fuckass school #but anyway yeah i truly dont know. my problem is that im always content with things until a new idea is brought to me #then ill chew on that and THEN start thinking so with y3 its like .. im p happy with you ... i dont think anything else could be done .. #i wanna play y3 now ... ill prob do that when i get home or somethin #im ending this here now i answered this seven tags ago. i dont know so if they do put anything like that i'd be astounded to see it

[craycraybluejay]

If I wanted to, I could, and worse, you would let me

#and my delusions and aches need healing #and i need you #to love me enough for me not to want to force my love on you #and my rational mind wherever it is knows you do it knows it does #it knows #but. the irrational mind wants some kind of Proof #it wants to force to feed to get inside and look around #nothings ever enough for me i want inside #soft and warm like the womb #you know it #the sick me wants you to somehow prove everything ever #proof of love. proof that im not the only monster. proof of protection of care of empathy of trust of acceptance #its never enough but to be fair you and i both know who made me this way #of course there were many but there are catalysts and then there are nothing-people #prove it to me #i look at you and i feel like youre slipping away someone else has their guts on you someone else has convinced you they are worth your tim #but theyre pathetic and not poetic about it. weak and spineless. they USE YOU to make themselves look strong they USE YOU to talk shit at t #they are useless so they use you like me. and i know i cannot rush it cannot learn your lessons for you #i can't convince you of whats dangrous or cruel until you live it until it breaks your golden heart #but i wish i could protect you from all that somehow #and too i wish a million years would pass and you were as dark as me and as kind as you #its selfish but i hate to see you truly hurt i hate it. it makes me so violently angry. my brain turns off i cant help it #you hurt so Easy you're so very soft but every tiny cruelty that hurts you i want to completely erase off this earth #i dont care if its alive if its helpless if it doesnt know better i dont care if it didnt mean to all i want to do is prove to you show you #keep you safe and cared for #its irrational. i'd put away honour and hurt someone weaker than me if it made you happy if it made you feel safe #i wish i could eliminate the real threat but i cant im trying #you make me crazy and you make me feel normal and simple and human. i know everything about you-- i want to know more #my irrational brain doesn't even register accepted right and wrong only what it considers significant and important. my rational brain read #it like a million page rulebook. be normal be good don't hurt anyone don't get dead don't act before you think

[bucketofchum]

Im still a big romantic but definitely less romantic than I used to be

#LMAO the chatting today got me thinking about crazy ass shit i did #so full disclosure #i had no romantic attraction to these girls #but like #I'd just rizz em up so fucking good #because it made me happy to make them happy #and it just made me feel good to make them feel good #I'd write like #actual letters #like imagine receiving an actual physical letter from some random boy online who has been nothing but respectful to you #i had no interest in like ulterior motives sexy shit - i just wanted to make them happy lmao #i was truly a chaotic romantic force in the world #someone lock up this tiny romantic boy for sweet talking internet girls 5-10 years older

[andthebeanstalk]

It helps me to think about caring for myself like I think about caring for a child.

Like, 'yes, I know you feel fine, but I think you've watched enough scary things before bed. Let's watch something nice now, okay?'

#original #it also helps because i am a queer autistic person with adhd who was raised catholic and #i was taught that the only way to be a truly good person was to sacrifice myself for others at all costs #and therefore seeking my own happiness was a sin. denial's the game. the more the holier. #I often think about how lent was all about honoring Jesus's sacrifice for us. but none of the things we ever gave up ever helped anyone #jesus was like hey it is a sin to allow people to go hungry and we were like 'give up pizza for a month got it' #🙄🙄🙄 #I went to Catholic school and we would brag to each other about what we gave up #i think Lent is about as holy as weight loss #only holy in the eyes of a god who doesn't love me #so I don't care much for that one anymore. #anyway what I meant to say was one of the things that helps me break out of this mindset that was ingrained in me at a young age #is when I start sacrificing myself instinctively to please people I ask if I would allow this level of pain to happen to a child #if that doesn't work I ask if I would allow it to happen to a dog. #and the answer is almost always absolutely not. i would protect that animal. #and my next thought is don't I deserve to be treated at least as well as a dog?? #i think yes. #i think i ought to be treated at least as well as I'd treat everyone else actually. and i am kind to others. #so why would i be my one exception? #these tags were brought to you by: i am setting boundaries with my family #bc i realized if they had treated my dog like this I'd have disowned them and not have felt guilty for it #i would also protect a child at all costs just to be clear #that is never in question it is just a matter of side stepping my trauma's excuses since it may go like #'oh you don't deserve as much as other people' but it is LESS likely to be able to convince me I should have less rights than a literal dog

[cassiopeialake]

falling back into ag obsession...help...

#josefina montoya save me. save me josefina montoya #also claudie. not over claudie. #i know ag is kind of a gateway drug to doll collecting but i truly think i'd be happy with just those 2 #ok wait also maryellen's sledding outfit #and thats IT

[ofallthingsnasty]

Doflamingo isn't going to wrap it up. You think he's going to sacrifice even the tiniest bit of feeling for a little pleb like you? Pffft, don't be ridiculous. You're getting a first class bisalp whether you want it or not.

#doffy and forced sterilization/abortion chrm chrm #i swear he is the ONLY character i can think of who'd truly do this. anything for the king... #tbh i'd be happy. do you know how expensive bisalps are??? #/doflamingo

[leprosycock]

i'm a massive fan of how whenever they stream together you'll see a bunch of people bemoan how little they like each other and how they're like a longtime divorced couple and how none of it is positive and it's clear that they don't want to be around each other. but whenever j so much as mentions lud on stream you can literally hear him smiling just upon mentioning his name and he always giggles like a fucking schoolgirl. believe me i love hate and resentment as much as the next guy but this just .. isn't it. i can completely understand why people were so crazy about them back in the day even if i wasn't, but now it's like........ man what's left.

#i really think st3r is like.. disappointed in j. just for the direction of his life and his inability to grow up #st3r is married and (relatively) happy and he's a fully-formed man and j just like. Isn't. he doesn't have a family #he doesn't have a partner he trusts or truly loves #his favorite person in the world is a diva streamer ten years his junior #like i'd be sick of his shit too. and i am just as a fan. can't imagine how st3r feels #bunnyaskz

[ssaalexblake]

It is, objectively, super funny that the Trek fandom in general is sitting around hoping that STP ignores their faves and doesn’t try and involve them. I mean, it’s many other things as well, but it’s funny that I keep being recommended random posts of random people crossing their fingers hoping that their blorbos will be ignored, never be seen on screen, and therefore saved from anything from bad characterisation to death via stupid contrived avoidable circumstance. 

#that picard one #i feel like this could be some kind of bottom line on fan reactions tbh #we don't WANT our faves back #is... one hell of a indictment really #meanwhile the posts that truly baffle me are the shippers between the titular character and his ex cmo being Happy #if this were one of my big ships #(i casually enjoy it in tng) #i'd be Fuming!!!! #she's treating him like a doormat #they literally haven't had Any positive interaction?? (i've not seen this week's ep tho) #i... have not seen any content here that makes it seem like the Show ships it tbh #and if i trusted the writers i'd think that's bc they're not trying to push the ship #but i don't trust them. i've watched this season. l o l. #like honestly the downgrade in respect JL would be getting here if they decided to dear john laris for this ship is #astounding #(my main theory is they're gonna have Her ditch him so he doesn't look bad. if the stoy doesn't fit just bullshit it #is the method of this season so i don't feel bad for assuming this of them #if i'm wrong good. but i doubt it)

[heimonas]

me every time I think of erasmus and how I'd give so much to go back because it was one of the happiest periods of my life and the only time I've felt truly alive as a 20 something yo and I miss the people and I miss the city so much and I'm grieving that time so much the emotion is so unbearable because I'll never get to be in the same city with all of them again I will probably never see most of them again in my life but I loved them I loved them so much and I know not all of them feel the same but I have such a big love for humanity and nostalgia is tearing me apart

#and every time I drink I think I'd give so much to go back to partying with them in that city I was truly free and my life will never be #like that again #every happy moment feels like there are people missing from it I'm scared I will always feel like that not being able to escape the past #and I wish we talked more I wish they texted more but I don't do it either and everyone is drowning in their own life #but I just want someone to reach out to say I feel the same I feel the same pain as you #it all also meant something for me I get it #angelic.txt #I'm having a normal one as you can see #delete later

[unmotivatedartistry]

same anon as earlier

It’s always a treat seeing you post new drawings even if you’re tired of them :D I’ll brag to anybody that’ll listen that I’m moots with a talented artist like you

I?! OH MY GOD?! literally so happy what the hell you're so nice. who are you I need to thank you pls. You're too nice to me. I. HELP IM SO HONORED THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY BRAGS ABOUT BEING MOOTS WITH ME?! OH MY GOD THIS IS LIEK HGBHDHF

#you dont understand I've always dreamed of people liking my art and bragging about being friends with me and looking forward to my art #genuinely im like. i. am so happy. shaking rn #agh i hope you can understand how truly happy i am to hear this and how excited I am to have someone think of me like this!! #gonna make me change my url to motivatedartistry haha #i love you sm anon whoever u r. i dont knwo how to thank you #(i can make art for u. is that. a good thank you. for literally feeding one of my biggest dreams? literally) #(i never thought i'd ever hear someone talk about me like this) #simon answers #yeah im goin with that