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#i’m not in either of these fandoms so i’m probably about to get crucified twice over
starbuck · 2 years
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You know, the turn away from “chubbie men hav cute sqwuishy tummies uwu!!!!” and towards “fat, hairy men are hot, actually” has done WONDERS for both my gender dysphoria and just generally how I feel about my body.
The former reeked of infantilization and fetishization and made me feel gross whereas the latter makes me feel good and like I have agency in way I present and how that’s perceived. And it definitely makes a difference that I’ve primarily seen the latter sentiment coming from queer men - it feels more like us saying “this is how I look (or want to look in the future) and it looks good!”, which is not what the former ever felt like to me.
#does this make sense??#and like. no offense to anyone to whom the first sentiment was validating/helpful but this is just how I felt#i’m not in either of these fandoms so i’m probably about to get crucified twice over#(this is just based on what’s ended up on my dash over the years so FAIR WARNING)#but it’s essentially like the way I’ve seen Az*raphale treated by the g**d om*ns fandom#(who like. isn’t even fat btw… it’s been too long since i’ve read the book to recall if it’s in the text anywhere there but as far as the#show goes - it feels to me like the fandom just decided he was chubby/fat 100% in order to fetishize him under the guise of fat positivity)#vs. what I’ve seen of the ww.dit.s fandom’s treatment of Guill.ermo#which is VERY LIKELY biased since I’ve not seen the show and i’m not in the fandom so i’m sure plenty of gross fetishy stuff gets said/made#about him#but as far as I’ve seen people are just like ‘he’s hot’ in a totally normal non-gross way#and that all the other Large Hairy Men in the show are hot also#bc see that’s what it is#I see the former thing and it feels fetishy and i’m like ‘that’s gross’ but then in turn it makes me feel gross about myself#I don’t wanna think of myself as having ‘chubbie tummie uwu uwu uwu!!!!!’ - I just wanna Exist ya know?#and feel good about my existence#and seeing other queer + trans men talking about their own experiences in a really affirming way has been SUPER helpful to me#and okay one more thing - REALLY swinging a bat at a hornet’s nest now but being weird/fetishistic about fat/chubby men is a BIG problem in#the t*rror fandom#some of the shit I’ve seen about Cr*zier is just… bleghhhhhhhh#again i’m sorry if this stuff is the peak of validation to some people and i’m stomping all over it#but it just makes ME PERSONALLY uncomfortable and that’s all i’m saying#oh also this is okay to rb btw!!#if anybody wants to
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arsenicpanda · 3 years
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Sorry but those concerns aren’t equal. And while I appreciate you acknowledging my points it came off as dismissive. Can you imagine being a young black girl and watching riverdale and having a crush on Jughead/Cole and see someone that looks like you be set aside for the pretty blonde lead. Twice! Shipping doesn’t exist in a vacuum. There is something uneasy about how the same fans who ranted about Betty always playing second fiddle to Veronica and how she deserves better than that are now perfectly okay with Tabitha filling that role. It’s also disturbing because you’re still a Bughead fan as are many Jabitha shippers. It’s like you don’t take her seriously as a threat and that’s nagl. As is the image of Jughead’s Asian ex, black love interest and blonde ex sitting together when it’s pretty obvious who is going to end up with him in the end and who the audience is suppose to root for.
I am so, so sorry if I came off as dismissive; I certainly didn’t mean to.  If I did, it’s just from being tired in general in my regular life and having made your arguments myself; I don’t want to talk about the my life part because it’s very personal, obviously, but I assure you that I’m having a rough time.  Also, this is going to be disjointed because I’m tired, but I do want to answer you before I go to bed.
I will say, in my sole defense, I certainly never complained about Betty being second fiddle to Veronica and like, anyone who did is ridiculous because if anything Veronica was sidelined for Betty.  Or, wait, are you talking about the BAV triangle?  I mean, yeah, in both cases, they deserve to have someone love them, and I would like Tabitha to have an endgame ship.  I’d say Reggie is the only one who makes sense currently, as the only other single series regular, and I’ll be disappointed should they give her anything less than a series regular.
Also, ok, this is going to get me absolutely crucified, but if Riverdale decided to go against all expectations and say jabitha endgame?  With Tabitha screen time and characterization and the whole shebang?  All the things she deserves and almost certainly won’t get--regardless of whether she’s kissed Jughead or not--because of Riverdale’s racist tendencies?  I’d be down for it.  It’s an easy sell.
And yeah, I can’t imagine how awful the scenario you present is, that’s true, and I know that it would be better for it not to happen.  The fact that the hope is presented and being snatched away is shitty, absolutely.
And yeah, the pattern with Jughead’s exes is very problematic!  And the image you’ve presented is, yeah, not great.  Again, I’ve definitely said this before, although probably in conversations elsewhere with friends, but I always knew this was a problem with the ship, yeah.  B/A had the same problem, so I know it when I see it.  The only saving grace for bughead is that they also gave Jughead the white blonde one-night stand, although she was just a one-night stand.  Riverdale in general has a problem of having its supporting characters largely been POC and/or LGBTQ, while 3/4 of its mains are white and all of them are played as straight and the supporting characters are rarely given focus.  It makes for a bad look.
Also, I...what does viewing another ship as a “threat” have to do with things?  I’m a multishipper with Riverdale, I can ship multiple things at once with threats never entering into it.  I will say, I don’t view jabitha as a “threat” to bughead, but that’s because of the four seasons of bughead that came before this and the heavily telegraphed bughead endgame.  I know what’s coming, as do we all.  But that doesn’t mean Tabitha and Jughead aren’t cute.  And if I prefer bughead, well, that’s because it came first.  You flip this situation, have jabitha come in in season 1 and bughead in season 5, with the same baggage of 4x17-4x18 and all the B/A stuff (which would be T/A stuff in that universe), I’d be in the same situation saying “jabitha endgame, but bughead rights, and yes, I know that there is a Problematic aspect to this, but also they’re cute”.  Which fandom is getting the lion’s share of the fan content doesn’t hurt either.
Look, is it best if Jughead and Tabitha are just friends, only friends, always friends, never given a romantic subplot on the show?  Yes.  And my desire for one kiss, in that light, was always overly selfish, so I apologize for that.  But we are already at a place where Jughead and Tabitha clearly are having a romantic subplot; nothing I do or do not ship in my small corner of the internet will change that because the episodes are already almost all written and many are also filmed.  There’s no point in not enjoying the content I’m getting except self-flagellation.  All I can do is hope it’s handled well.  Which, ok, yeah, almost certainly isn’t going to happen, but hope is all we have.
Look, in general, what I--and other jabitha shippers--want out of the ship and what Riverdale is likely to give us are different things.  And, considering the reaction we get from one side or another, there’s really no reason for us to discuss it in public.
I do hope I have answered your questions, anon, to your satisfaction, but also I am tired, like physically and emotionally tired, and I’m getting a lot of anons from bughead shippers in the “HOW DARE YOU EVEN SHIP THIS, TRAITOR” vein, and I do not have the emotional stamina to deal with this because of mom stuff, so I’m gonna have to turn anon off.
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darkshadowbeauty · 7 years
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Calling Miles Out
OK I’ve seen a lot of posts about Tristan that have been negative. And the whole biphobic comments BS. It’s time to nip that in the bud because I am so tired of seeing it and Miles not being called out for his issues either.
OK so let us begin. People say that Tristan is biphobic and he has made by phobic comments. All right so I’m like this he’s not biphobic(because seriously if you was why would he dates a minus bisexual?) and yes I do believe that he made some shady comments. But what I don’t understand is is why isn’t Miles getting any acknowledgment here?
I mean the guy called Tristan desperate and pathetic not once but twice. He made him feel completely insecure within their entire relationship in season 14. And then when he tries to make it up to him by getting him and Zoe tickets to see a concert? That’s beyond stupid. And he never said if he still feelings from Maya when Tristan asked. But let’s go little bit further back.
I don’t believe that Miles was using Tristan in the beginning. I do believe that he had genuine feelings for him but I don’t think that they were really really sincere. Like in the beginning of season 14 he made the mistake of talking to the reporters. Which made their relationship public. Note Miles was the one that didn’t want to relationship to be public yet and he in turn made it public without Tristan’s knowledge. So that’s one of the reasons why Tristan kind of shied away from him after the news got out. Because people were assuming that Miles was using him.
Then skip ahead a little bit. Miles is skipping school and almost cost Tristan his grade. Humiliating him in front of the class by not showing up but instead sitting at home and getting high. Not giving a care in the world. And then when Frankie and Hunter confront him he pretty much brushes it off like “Tristan cares about me and we can just push this behind us”. He tries to make up with him which was sweet but not very very sincere.
Now we get to the part where he was using Tristan, he was using him has an escape from his home life. And when Tristan started to see that, at least that’s what Miles thought, he cracked. So he said that Tristan was desperate. And also saying that he treats him like crap and he kept coming back. That in my opinion was enough to get Tristan to walk away. Because no one needs to be disrespected like that at all. Tristan was under the impression that Miles was having a weed problem and wanted to help. You see if Miles had actually told Tristan what was going on with his father instead of shutting down then maybe Tristan could’ve helped him. But instead he insulted him and walked away. Which caused Tristan to dump his ass.
Onto season 14 B. We see Miles come up to Tristan and Zoe and he asked if they wanted to go to a concert. Tristan is still pissed off with Miles and he brushes him off. To which Miles huffs and puffs and walks away. Completely not acknowledging the fact that just was still mad at him. He tends to like to not pay any attention to other people’s feelings. Tristan namely. Now what I don’t understand is is if he knew Tristan was still trying to get over him why would he go after his friend? Why would he m hook up with Zoe during the summer and bring her to his house knowing that Tristan was there? To me it was to flaunt his relationship. And that wasn’t right.
So we move onto next class. Here we are with Miles once again not taking into consideration of the things that he has done in the past ato Tristan. And thinking that Tristan has probably forgotten all about it. And tries to be nice. You see Miles doesn’t really take into consideration other peoples feelings. He thinks that with enough time people just forget. And that’s quite stupid of him.
So he openly flirts with him and kisses him making Tristan think that he wants him again. Now it’s kind of unclear to us whether or not he still wanted him. Miles may have said that he did but when does Miles have a really no what wants? When it came to the debate which I think a lot of people thought that Tristan was being biphobic I have to say he wasn’t. He was calling Miles out his indecisiveness.
Because it seems to Tristan that there’s a pattern between him and Miles. And he was getting tired of it. Yeah maybe he could’ve said it differently but he still needed to call Miles out. And I think that he finally grew a backbone and stood up to Miles. I don’t see what the big deal is about that. But you know how it is when you favorite Miles more than Tristan and think that Tristan is the absolute worst? Yeah because a lot of people do.
So this is where he calls Tristan pathetic yet again and said he’s going to destroy him. Which he didn’t really do. But he did insult him in the classroom by telling him that he sucks. To which Tristan promptly shut his ass down because Tristan has sass like that. But he also kind of flaunted his relationship with Esme in front of Tristan too. And then he openly mocked him because he was dating somebody new. How the hell is that fair or him not being a bully? He taunted Tristan. Which made Tristan in turn let Vijay go because he thought that he was going to use him he didn’t want that because he knew exactly what it felt like to be used. Tristan was very mature at that very moment.
Now onto the end of the season. Miles gave Tristan a very half assed apology, nobody can deny that. It didn’t sound sincere at all he never apologize for all the crap that he put him through he pretty much just said it because he felt that he wanted to or some crap like that. He didn’t say with actual meaning. I will admit at the very end he did do some good by letting Tristan know about Hunter. So I can let him somewhat slide for that.
Now season two. So everything tends to be going OK between the two until the whole baby episode. Now Tristan managed to try to not make Miles feel pressured with the project( see he’s a good boyfriend). So he took almost all the responsibility. Which wasn’t right because they have to share responsibility. So once again Miles kind of used Tristan and brushes off his feelings. And once again Tristan called him out on it. And it’s like Miles could’ve just helped take care of the project baby. Like how hard was it? Why make Tristan do all the work? It’s stupid.
Now we move onto the epic episode about sex. Now Tristan was very mature on handling how he found out about Zoe and Miles. Like you would think that he would have an issue with his best friend sleeping with his then ex-boyfriend. You’d think he’d be insecure about that. But he wasn’t. He even told Miles in the in the episode that he didn’t have a problem with the fact that he slept with the girls. It was the fact that he wasn’t committed to him when he did it.
But back to the episode. Zoe runs her mouth and exposes that Tristan was a virgin to Winston who in turn exposes it to Miles. And Miles being reckless and spontaneous as usual decided to think that forcing sex on Tristan would make him feel better? No I’m not saying forcing as in rape or anything but kind of wanting to get out of the way? And he also thought that it would take less than 20 minutes? Yet Tristan calling him a man whore was the highlight of the episode? Miles doesn’t get any comments on the fact that he tried to pressure Tristan into sex? *cough* Favoritism *cough* *cough*
And don’t even me started on the fact that his little sister was wiser than him and telling him that him dumping Tristan because he didn’t want to have sex with was a stupid idea. Really Miles we’re going to dump Tristan because he wouldn’t have sex with you? How stupid.
Now I can’t get too much into season three because we don’t know what’s going to happen. There’s speculation and possibilities. But what I can say is is that after saying all of this right here people need to realize that Miles isn’t innocent. He was manipulative, he was indecisive, and he was a bully to Tristan about their relationship. And I don’t get why people don’t see that. People focus more on the stupid things that Tristan said then focusing on what Miles has done and said. This fandom shows too much favoritism towards Miles. Oh Miles can get away with anything but when Tristan does something he’s immediately crucified. That’s not fair.
And if Tristan is supposedly biphobic don’t you think someone had to of made him that way? I mean you just don’t grow up biphobic. Someone has to plant the seeds of doubt into your mind. Which is exactly what Miles did. Tristan felt as if he was being used or was experiment. Because Miles tend to bounce around from him to a girl to him to a girl. Don’t make anybody who is already satisfied with their sexuality and somewhat insecure feel negatively about bisexual people. Miles planted the seeds. And when you put the seeds of doubt into someone’s mind they start to question it. They start to wonder if everyone is the same.
Because how many times have we heard when a woman gets cheating on she says all men are the same? Or when a woman cheats on the man he claims that all women are the same or can’t be trusted or something like that? That right there has to be because they have experienced it in a negative way. That’s exactly what Tristan got with Miles. He experienced his first bisexual boy and it wasn’t a good experience so it made him say a lot of things that he probably shouldn’t. Plus we all know that Tristan is completely blunt and has no brain to mouth filter. He’ll say exactly what’s on his mind without thinking it through.
So I just want to say that it’s not right that people constantly try to tear Tristan down but don’t acknowledge the fact that Miles wasn’t a saint either. Tristan said a few things but Miles said and did worse. Now I love both of my boys dearly and I want the best for them. But if you’re going to call one out at least manage to call the other one out too. Fair is fair.
And if you’re going to be negative or favorite Miles more then do not reply to my post. I don’t want any negativity on it. Because as I said before I support both boys and I love them both. But I’m calling Miles out on the fact that he’s done some pretty shady crap to Tristan too. So if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t respond to this post. 👍
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To JKR/Dumbledore/Weasley Haters
I was writing my profile on Fanfiction.Net, and was talking about my favorite thing, about how much I hate Dumbledore bashing. But there’s one thing I hate even more than that, JKR bashing. Why?! I figured this would be a great PSA, and would probably cover all my ranting for the month, so I took my bio from there and decided to paste it:
What’s up guys, it’s Bunny as I’m known on here. I am a Harry Potter fan to the max and so most of the stories I write will be Harry Potter centric, although there will be crossovers, other fandoms and pieces of original fic here as well (on my FF page). My favorite characters have to be in order:
Harry
Dumbledore
Hermione
Ron
All the Weasleys (even Percy)
Aberforth
McGonagall
I’m a 20 (soon to be 21) year old Black woman living in Nevada, I’m in college and am majoring in graphic design. I’m single and childless, and as such that gives me plenty of free time when school is out of the way. I love Harry Potter, if I haven’t said that already but I have a HUGE love/hate relationship with my fandom. I don’t even enjoy fanfic the way I used to (but I love writing it) because of:
1: the attacks against JKR. If you hate JKR, WHY in the world are you in her fandom!? Dumbledore and Weasley haters are especially prone to this, especially older haters. Most Dumbledore haters I’ve seen, the worst ones who think he’s the evilest thing are in their forties and fifties and I don’t get that. You’re a little too old to be attacking a fictional character so viciously don’t you think? And they normally hate Jo too, because she loves Dumbledore and says she’s a “shitty writer” because she didn’t torture him or make Harry hate him. This is why I am scared shitless of most older “fans” (although I know one, she’s awesome and I’m Tumblr friends with her). I put fans in quotes because if you hate the books and especially the CREATOR of said books so passionately, then you no longer have the right to call yourself a fan in my book. You can’t be a fan of something you clearly hate.
2: Dumbledore bashing. GAWD, Dumbledore bashing! GRRRRR. Explanation/rant as to why I hate this shit is written below. I cannot get away from it, especially since people have never heard of tagging their shit.
3. Weasley bashing. Why? WHYYYYYYY?! HOW can ANYBODY hate the Weasleys?! I never got the hatred toward them AT ALL, and especially poor Ron, Ginny and Molly! They get attacked by so many “fans”, especially the ones that claim to love Harry and Hermione, and don’t get me STARTED on Harmonians. Not people who ship Harry and Hermione cuz it’s a cool pairing, but Harmonians. There’s a HUGE difference between Harmony shippers and Harmonians. They love Harry, probably more than anyone in the whole series besides his parents and Sirius. Look, Harry would fight all of you if he could hear you talk that way about his SURROGATE FAMILY AND BEST FRIEND. Hermione would kick your ass too. I can’t read Harmony fics because all the bashing of the Weasleys and Dumbledore has ruined it for me
4. Character bashing of any kind, especially bashing of the good guys.
5. Fix-fics, nothing is broken people.
6. Dark Harry
7. Lord Potter-Black. FUCK, Lord Potter-Black! Super Harry who’s heir to everything and has twenty septillion trillion Galleons (that Dumbledore and Ron are totes stealing), is allied with the Goblins and can PWN with his super special awesomeness. AKA, Stu-Harry
Why I Hate Dumbledore Bashing With The Force Of A Thousand Suns and Why It Needs To Die A Fiery Death (and my stance on it)
There will be no Dumbledore bashing or Manipulative!Dumbledore on this page because I utterly despise it and wish that it would just jump into a pit of lava already. I acknowledge that Dumbledore is manipulative in canon and get why people don’t like him, but most manipulative Dumbledore stories have him either over the top manipulative or just stupid and incompetent so that Harry could defeat him easier. He’s also not a cackling evil villain who’s stealing Harry’s money, he’s a man with a very hard job who’s done horrible things but is trying to make them right in my opinion. And way too many people enjoy seeing the man crucified in my opinion, as well as the poor Weasleys who I don’t know why they get so much hate from everybody.
Also, I HATE so called Harry Potter “fans” that hate JKR. And they’re bitching about how she “ruined” everything by “making a mess” of the last books. And it’s mostly because he forgave Dumbledore, don’t insult the creator of the series that you claim to love in the first place just because Harry didn’t become a bitter ass and carry hatred for the rest of his life. The hatred of Dumbledore on this site disturbs the fuck out of me, and it’s so hard to find stories that don’t bash him. He gets the hammer way too hard with these people, like “he shoud’ve fixed the wizarding world!” or one of my personal favorites, we’re Islamic extremists because we agree with Dumbledore. I totally agree with him, this one guy says that anybody who thinks that sacrificing people for the Greater Good is Hitler. I’d do it, if that makes me Hitler than so be it. Dumbledore is NOT a Dark Lord, and where do all these “he sacrificed countless lives!” come from?! Where are these “countless innocent lives that he so ruthlessly sacrificed” in canon?! If you’re talking about the ORDER, a group that were willing to fight to save their world, like any other patriot or soldier would do, please reword your phrasing. I don’t see any of these “millions sacrificed for Dumbledore’s evil plans”, they exaggerate the Death Toll way too much. And y'all are assuming that the man could just make every problem go away, the biggest complaint I get is, “DUMBLEDORE IS A MONSTER FOR NOT USING HIS POWER AND INFLUENCE TO FIX THE WIZARDING WORLD AND STOP VOLDEMORT, HE’S A DARK LORD!” Did y'all not read the books?! He tried, but one man can only do so much! He clearly ain’t have that much power, considering Fudge was able to strip his titles and kick him out TWICE, or are y'all forgetting this? I can’t, Dumbledore isn’t evil. Like why do people think this?! He did it for the good of the world! And one infamous person who compared Dumbledore to an Islamic terrorist talking about “what of the greater good of those innocent lives he sacrificed?!” Well let me tell you something buddy, those “innocent lives” would be DEAD ANYWAY if Dumbledore hadn’t done what he did. Without Dumbledore’s machinations, Voldemort would still be running around and ten times more people would be dead compared to the relative few in the books, is that really better?! It’s not, and yes, in extreme cases sometimes sacrifices have to be made and people don’t get this. Dumbledore did the right thing, instead of calling him the Dark Lord, focus on the REAL Dark Lord and leave him alone.
Harry HAD to die, and there was no “magical other way of making the Horcrux disappear”, Hermione says in the last books that the vessel must be destroyed beyond magical repair. Harry WAS that vessel, and how do you destroy a human body beyond magical repair?! Oh yeah, it’s DEATH. Now I’m not gonna deny that Dumbledore fucked Harry over, but not nearly as much as Voldemort did. If it weren’t for Voldemort, Dumbledore wouldn’t have had to do what he did. And for all the people who says it’s bad that he sacrificed Harry and all of these mystery people that somehow died, that “it’s terrorism to sacrifice some for the many.” No it’s not, it’s utilitarianism. It’s simple military strategy, it’s ensured the survival of many an empire. If we have a population of people and a third of them had a highly contagious, incurable plague like terminal disease, you freakin’ quarantine or get them away from everybody else so that the entire population doesn’t get decimated. I’d rather save the most lives possible, I’d rather save SOME lives rather than have EVERYONE be dead because I didn’t wanna be the next “Dark Lord.”
But he sacrificed Harry for the…Harry is PART of the wizarding world! If Dumbledore hadn’t “set him up”, Harry still would’ve died. STILL, and he wouldn’t have been able to come back either! Not only does Harry die, so does everyone else! Which is what would happen if Harry walked away or “destroyed” Dumbledore or Dumbledore is either killed or ruined like in these so called stories. So congratulations “fix it” authors, you’ve doomed the planet. I hope you’re happy with yourselves. In most of these bash fics, Harry is NO BETTER than Dumbledore. Except he’s ruthlessly killing people off, like the Weasleys or the DEs or anybody else the author doesn’t like to “fix” the wizard world. Sound familiar? Instead of writing a “better than Dumbledore” Harry, you wrote teenage Voldemort. Congrats.
“But WHY DIDN’T DUMBLEDORE STOP THE DARK LORD SOONER?!” Good question, because the series is called Harry Potter. If you want Dumbledore to do it, write the Albus Dumbledore series. Simple as that, and a lot of people going “OH HARRY’S A CHILD!” don’t take genre into consideration. And you need to. Now, am I saying that Dumbledore is perfect and without flaws? No, I’m not saying that. But he’s not Satan either, and people need to see that.
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