#i'm attracted to girls. i myself..am a girl. but? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drawbauchery · 6 months

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the asks better be careful or they just might genderbend the girls.

now there's an idea

#sinnaminteru #asks #i'm JUST saying #tumblr is obsessed with girls #you can go to any art blog at all and find so many drawings of girls. go to those #i'm attracted to girls. i myself..am a girl. but?#i don't know why people are here if they only want girls??#when they see i'm constantly drawing boys???#acting like the boys are only temporary until i get to the REAL content????#ah no #no i'm here to write my Yaoi MLM Men Boys thanks

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lucyvaleheart · 2 months

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#supposed to log good things #most of day was negative feelings and sadness #then. i remember feeling good #and then. tthe good went away #rreplaxed with the usual self doubt and loathing #the feelings of undesirability #the wish that i was. attractive in any way to anyone close to me that anyone wanted to. touch me #that i wasn't horrifically gross and disgusting #do the people who hold me do it out of pity? am i really so awful #pictures get a lot of praise #sometimes #less so lately #maybe the novelty of my personality has worn off #maybe seeing how broken i am #such a shambling wailing mess of a girl #....has made people realize how ugly i am #i don't know. its hard to care most nights #I'm supposed to feel better in the mornings #i don't usually #I used to #now i just feel..... dead inside #like a walking corpse #some part of me wants to make that reality #sigh.#anyway.#im sorry you had to read this whoever you are that's made it this far #it's a cry for help but my discord status says don't message me so it's. probably not gonna get much lol #.....i guess uh. if you've read this far and do want to say something you can take this tag in particular as a one time pass to do so #....i make no guarentees I'll respond but i will guarentee that i won't kill myself. at least not tonight or even any time this week

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wis-art · 1 year

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I started dating my bf before we both really realized we are trans and are now both transitioning to the gender we feel good in.

#i think he complicates it all sooooooo much #when it comes to a clean label of myself #because i think i would call myself a lesbian nowadays #but he's just so goddamned pretty #I'm not attracted to him like i am to a girl #hes just so handsome and he is so happy #it is so hard to put into words how hard wired the fact he's a guy and that he even used to not be is to me #i think im a lesbian with a boyfriend #but my boyfriend is awesome and i told him that i might be a lesbian actually and he just told me that its okay everyone can have exception #aughahhagh

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dogfags · 5 days

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my life would be immeasurably easier if I was the femme theyfab I tried so hard to be in college but at least now that I'm a man I can be with my gay bf. so there are some upsides

#barks #not even bothering with the fantasy that i could have been a cis woman bc i dont think i ever felt like a girl enough to be that #idk what to do with femininity #all my attempts at it have failed horribly #even trying to be a feminine man just feels awkward and inauthentic to me #unfortunately i love fashion and hair #so i have to find a happy medium for my own presentation and then live vicariously through others #i hate that i feel no love within myself #for my gender that is #i can only find the bright sides of transitioning in being loved by my bf and other external validations #but maybe i can learn to love my transness if i am loved hard enough by someone else #idk :(#it is unquestionable that my bf sees me as a man and loves me and is attracted to me #i mean he expresses it constantly #i am just very dysphoric #I'm rambling now

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godsperfectprincess · 17 days

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i had to record myself conducting an interview recently for a homework assignment and i'm listening back to it and like. why is my voice kinda sexy

#ash rambles #learning all sorts of things about myself lately. such as 'i am really attractive actually'#i'm sure it's less so when i'm not masking but still. damn girl...

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imminent-danger-came · 1 year

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Not cis, not trans, but a secret third thing

#(demigirl)#(cisn't)#gender is weird #does anyone feel me on this #imp tag #Like yeah I'm a girl #I'm not a 'woman' or a 'lady' though #However I am female #I am very much a girly #However I also really like the terms 'Sir' and 'Mr.' and calling myself a man in a gender neutral way (like I am a man of my word)#(Or I am a man of many ways) stuff like that #If you were to say something like 'king shit' about me I'd prefer king over queen I think #But I'm not he/him at all #And I love being femme but butch is super attractive to me #Seriously whenever I'm out with like my mom or something and we're referred to as 'ladies' I die a little #I don't know why #However if you were to call me like 'Lady Imp' I'd be down #Or 'Lord Imp'#Gender parkour but I only move on half the ring

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lee-vi6 · 2 months

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#another random thing #this happened a couple days ago now but it keeps popping up in my mind #i was hanging with friends and we were talking about if being left handed makes you left footed #i was like “ohh i don't actually know if i'm left footed just because im left handed hmm”#and then this one girl who i am friends with but not close tells me to stand up and face away from her #im obviously very apprehensive as to what she's about to do #the second i turn my back on her she shoves me #not hard at all #just enough to jolt me forward unexpectedly #and my right foot comes forward first to steady myself instead of my left one sooo she says i'm right footed #and then i obviously sit down like nothing happened #BUT #the question is...why was i like??? turned on?????#i'm not attracted to her physically at all so its not even about her but just what happened to me if that makes sense #do i just enjoy getting manhandled and pushed around that much??? that i dont care which gender does it??#goddamn #i cant even put into words how it makes me feel when i remember it and its a bit embarrassing to admit #im just getting such butterflies in my stomach (and pussy)

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seagullcharmer · 5 months

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i knew it was a good thing to use a selfie where my face is half covered. y'all could never handle the full might of my beauty

#libra.txt #this is a joke btw #it's just bc i take really terrible selfies and also am trying to pretend not to show too much of myself on tumblr. lol. lmao #but also. yeah i'm just really attractive ✌️😌#in like. generic 'quirky' white girl kind of way

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girlscience · 7 months

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i hate that my brain is like this. i hate that it does this to me. i see so many people for whom their sexuality is a source of pride and community and finding their sexuality opens a whole new world to them and they become open and confident people who are more themselves than ever before. and that's amazing! i am so happy for those people!! but it has never been that for me and i despise myself for that.

#i want so badly to say 'I AM [insert sexuality here]' 'IM OUT AND IM PROUD!'#i want to find local community and go to the gay bars #and meet people and make friends and kiss girls and all these things i see online or in fanfic #(listen i have been reading a huge amount of griddlehark and there is a lot of modern aus that i desperately desire)#but my brain thinks i am lying about all of it and whenever i say no i'm not lying it sets about convincing me i am #i think about women and it instantly goes okay but men though. what if you thought about them instead #and then it's all i can think of even though i don't want to #i think about dating a woman and it says actually. think about dating a man #i say i don't want men and it says that's rude and mean and you never know what could happen #and you don't believe there is some magical difference between men and women they are all just people so you are a hypocrite #if you leave men out and honestly you don't find men repulsive and there have been men you thought were attractive even if you can't figure #out of it was attractive like sex or attractive like marble statues #and you say you like body hair on women but it weirds you out on men but it's the exact same thing so you have to like it on both #and you read so much mlm fic and so little wlw so you think men are hot cause you've thought some of the mlm stuff was hot #so obviously you want to have sex with men #even if all the men who have actually hit on you irl made you uncomfortable #you didn't actually stop it from happening and honestly you really wanted it to happen and you just wanted them to force it on you #cause you are a evil gross freak who fetishizes #nevermind. this is spiraling.#and is just turning into a way for me to hurt myself more with this

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gender-euphowrya · 1 year

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i know our fatphobic cultures have deepfried and glassblown people's brains but it always boggles my mind when a fat person is fatphobic ??? what are you doing

#i mean like #your overweight aunt telling her daughter who's slimmer than her to lose weight #fat middle-aged women in the street making a face at a young fat girl in a crop top #people saying stuff like ''she could look so much better if...'' while being fatter than the person they're talking about #couples of equivalent sizes turning each other's weight into a punchline #like. this isn't something that makes my life any harder so as annoying as it is i don't feel the need to address it #but nobody in my family seems to get that I Do Not Care what weight i am #i've put on weight over the last year or so and when i say it's not an issue to me #my mom & grandma just act like... it should be ??? like i should be feeling awful and beating myself up over it ????#shouldn't you be GLAD that i'm not ? that i'm not stuffing myself with celery and then puking it up ?#that i'm feeling comfortable ? that i'm not depressed over it ? that i think i look just fine ??#meanwhile mom's way heavier than me and used to be even more before she had An Entire Surgery to lose weight #i mean. both my parents were fat. it's genetics. i'm never gonna be stick thin. i do not care ???#i'm gonna look like harvey guillen jack black matt berry y'know ?? all men people find attractive ?? what's there to worry about #AND EVEN THEN. even if we lived in a nightmare world where people had shit taste and found them ugly #still wouldn't make it a problem ? idgaf what people think of my appearance ?? i'm vibing

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chaotic-history · 10 months

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i am. thinking about the barbie movie

#am gonna regret writing this later but. being trans is a special breed of feeling like you have to prove your masculinity #and it's extra fucked up cause whenever you feel like that you immediately feel like shit afterwards cause you know the other side and you #grew up knowing you were queer and now you feel like you're being antithetical to what the queer community is all about and the progress it #has made. like obviously [insert any number of things lol] does not make someone any less of a man. you know that and you know that you'd #never judge anyone else by that standard but at the same time clearly you still fucking believe in it since you judge yourself by it and #what if you're just judging other people unconsciously #and this ties back in to the movie cause the end w ken also rebrought up the question of 'do i actually want a romantic relationship or do #just feel like i *should* have one' and i'm kind of leaning towards the second option. bc it feels Good but in like.. i don't even know how #to describe it. like it's what i should be doing but not because *i* actually want to personally?#and i know that whatever kind/amount of attraction i have is bi but whenever i imagine the kind of relationship that would feel most 'right #(in that weird way) it's always w a girl. which is literally fucking just the beginning of these tags restated. bc that feels like the thin #i 'should' be doing as a guy (lmfaooo mistyped that as gay 💀) n i think the 'this feels right' is literally just gender euphoria which #again is fucking stupid as a shit bc obviously liking girls is not more masculine than liking guys and ofc i don't actually believe that #but then clearly i fucking DO because why the hell else would i feel that way for myself #anyway gonna go play in traffic 🙃 dear god please hit me with a bus. thanks

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has-brain-rot · 1 year

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(vent) I went to the pharmacy 'cause I need to get an appointment made for some medical stuff and also get a refill on my T (the app is shit and keeps breaking so I keep ordering and it doesn't go through AND I can't change the branch I go to) ANDealrngkalkerg

LITERALLY I'm crossing the street, and it's cold here so I'm wearing a passed down big ol working snow jacket with a mask (I effectively look like a red blob with legs and a head). AND THIS GUY, He rolls down his window and starts trying to talk to me.

I do not know this man. I literally am just walking back home. His car is stopped for the lights and he's yelling at me so I'll speak to him.

alrkgmlaekrmg I feel very violent right now like why. there is no need. I ignored him and the light went green but fuckin hell why.

I'm also at the transition point where I thought I passed and do (as a young teen, but hey passing is passing) but apparently not to old creepy men when they see me in my dad's old winter jacket and a mask <- they make me want to commit unspeakable acts of violence. I won't cuz I'm a pacifist but-)

#personal #rot rambles #vent #I GUESS it's better than the old guy on the bus that harrassed me for an hour straight and kept asking me which part of town I lived #and wouldn't leave me alone when I told him I'm busy. he asked me where I went to school and which building and times and #all sorts of details and when he FINALLY got off he decided to sit right beside me and tell me he'll see me real soon before leaving #Even if I don't pass as a cis guy I'm not like. I do not make an attractive girl. I'm pretty sure #I am filled with so much rage now that I'm back in my room but the guy yelling out the window triggered me and I nearly had a ptsd attack #anyways if anyone does bother to read this and you wanna vent about how shitty men can be feel free to comment or send asks about it #I got anonymous on and my asks are always open <- please I've only gotten 1 or 2 asks before. I will welcome you and not judge #oh hey! this is where rot learns that it can blog on its blog! How weird is that? <- me barely stopping myself from doing this 24/7 #men (derogatory and insultingly)#(even though I'm man-aligned gender wise myself)#(more like a vague blob but who cares at this point)

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silasbug · 1 year

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fondly thinking about my best friend.

no idea how she's managed to stick it out with me this far but i'm amazed that after over 6 years she still has enough patience to tolerate me.

when i don't feel like i'm good enough, she reminds me of who i am. when i make mistakes, she doesn't treat me any different. when i'm highly dysphoric, she just /gets/ it and shows me unrelenting support and encouragement. she's my #1 hypeman, and i am hers.

there isn't another person in the world that's been able to make me feel even.. remotely okay in my own skin, about how i look and how a body feels (i would also say about who i am, but i'd be lying).

i realize that i've always had a bit of body dysmorphia and generally don't enjoy looking at my own face because it's.. very uncanny to me. i don't have a proper sense of style. but she always just?? has something nice to say and she does it so genuinely that you can actually believe that she means what she says. because she's the same.

i'll go out looking like a 12 year old boy and she's just. fucking. there for it. she'll cheer for it. do it with me. and then we'll walk around the block looking like two lil' dudebros together because we own the same clothes. and fucking hell.

this girl is too good to me. i absolutely don't deserve her.

sometimes it's hard to believe that someone like her exists.

and that i get to be witness to it.

there's caveats, of course. we talk so rarely (we go weeks without), the interests we share are few and far between and there's.. so many things i could never tell her because i will never get over that fear of losing her.

there is no right moment and there isn't a time and those are things i neither need nor want her to know, because it would change the way she sees me.

and i guess that seems callous and detached and dishonest.

but we are there when it matters. i am there when she needs me and i will always pick up her pieces.

i want her to have a good thing. she sees me as a good thing.

so i'll let her have me this way.

#the one person i've not yet managed to hurt and i don't think i ever fucking will #i'd throw myself off a damn cliff first #this girl just saw me one day when i showed up to school. decided i /seemed/ too cool for school and adopted me over the summer.#like what. how. i am THE lamest guy™ AND SHE somehow STILL thinks i'm cool what a nerd UGH #it's just sad that we're at the point where we have little to tell each other because our lives are so different & we live far apart #at least we can take naps with each other and just chill out when we meet. we can just.. be in the moment together and enjoy it.#and that is still. everything.#also like. i generally don't take selfies but i did a few days ago because i thought i looked kinda cool and i told her about it and #she really wanted to see & she is the only person i'd ever send selfies to and she just...#'bug those last three could work as a hot fuckboy tinder profile' LOL bless her that's the funniest shit i've ever heard #IDK IT'S that thing where you love and care so much for someone that they become infiniely more attractive than they are at first glance?#but she's the only person that i'd ever actually be able to believe. because she is so fucking genuine.#i'll also never get over the fact that she is the smartest and most studious person i know but listens to the most anti social german rap #like LMAO okay girl! you go! i hate it but i love you #it's just a funny contrast that she listens to the filthiest shit imaginable hahaha #personal

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maddy-ferguson · 1 year

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i spent 365 out of the last 523 days thinking about a guy i liked when i was 12 because he was the last tether i had to hetero/bisexuality