#i'm so sorry about the harassment you've received anon

[lasnevadaslaborunion]

Sorry for the little rant but vegetta is still going on abt how the “English community” was too sensitive for being upset. Like idk man i wish he would listen to why the mod was taken out. The sentiment I’ve seen thrown around is that “the mods always been there and no one’s complained” or “no one was offended by those types of jokes before!”

Like yea. That’s what happens when cultures clash. And obviously racism shouldn’t be normal anywhere but in the gaming space it IS. And while the English community isn’t perfect the sheer amount of apologies we have from ccs is an indicator that even past racism isn’t tolerated. A few indigenous English fans actually got in contact with the mod’s creator and that’s what prompted him to make a statement, but those same fans were harassed and told to shut up bc “you’re racist for thinking something’s racist”. I got qrt’d with a sh video bc I dared to be uncomfortable. Most of the shitty stuff is on twt as to be expected but it still hurts. It’s so rare that people, white peoples especially, listen. I’m so happy the mod creator listened. I’m so sad some ccs aren’t.

Is Vegetta STILL going on about this? Hoooooly moly, the mod was removed, it's not coming back, and even the creator had the humility to recognize the problems and change them. There is nothing left to argue for and he clearly doesn't understand what people are actually arguing about

#i'm so sorry about the harassment you've received anon #the quacktwt discord was literally talking earlier about how vile the fanbases of the white spanish creators can be #so many of them have this weird superiority complex about never getting involved in drama or ''offended by little things'' #even though they are just as capable of being racist and cruel and bigoted as the english community is #like even quackity and his fans were targeted back when karmaland 5 was starting #and now the same group that called quackity slurs for being a latam are defending his mistake here and pretending to care for his image #hm... i wonder what changed. wow. what a mystery. /s #anyway i don't want to derail what you've said because. yeah. it's frustrating #popular white man whines for three days straight about how the young'uns are too whiny now. more at 6 o'clock. tale as old as time #discourse #tw racism #tw harassment #qsmp critical #<- guess that's my catch-all tag now #asks

[sasori-anon]

A much needed Post

Good evening everyone, I hope you're all having a good day.💜

Yes, I probably tagged you in this, dear stranger. Before you click off, I ask you to give me 5 minutes of your time. Just 5, then you can go about your day. But I would appreciate it, if you listened to what I have to say, because it means a lot to me and many...many others.

I'm posting today, because this topic has been on my heart lately and I wanted to share my thoughts with you. I'm sure you've already guessed that this is about the whole Kisame-anon chaos.

Before we begin, I want to get this out of the way: This post is coming from a genuine and loving place. My goal is not to point fingers, nor placing blame or justify anyone's actions, including my own. This post is about me, trying to understand the entire situation and providing my sentiments to it.

Act I: Why do I not just shut up?

Why do I get involved you might ask? It's not so much that I want to get involved. It's more that any anon who begins their journey here, gets inevitably sucked into it. We are faced with angry posts, confusing explanations and forced to choose who to believe and support. If you don't, you walk on eggshells filled with guilt and if you do, you're being blocked by the entire half of the disagreeing party.

This is not what I signed up for.

I come on to Tumblr to Roleplay and have fun. I've been having a splendid time here. You guys are making me so happy as of late, allowing me to play freely and giving me a space for all my creative ideas. And I want to continue doing so.

I want to be able to chat up anyone, without fearing that someone else will jump at my throat for it. That includes Kisame, Hidan, Orochimaru and many more of you wonderdul RPers.

Recently I have noticed that I've been blocked by several people and I can guess, what the reason is. And it saddens me because...I like you guys. We were talking and sharing fun experiences, only for me to discover that I am suddenly cut off from it. For no other reason than that I interact with a person they have a quarrel with. And that is just...not the solution. So what is the solution?

Act II: The Anon War in a nutshell

Now, from my understanding, there is a big rift between two groups.

1) Those who have received digital harassment in form of hate/rape/death threats (and believe Kisame-anon to be the culprit)

and

2) Those who defend Kisame against those claims, or, like me, don't just blindly hop onto a hate train they saw on the internet

Again, my goal with this post is not to be the divine judge over who is in the right here. It is, objectively, pretty much impossible from an outsider's standpoint. And additionally, I don't think either of you is necessarily to blame for your individual reactions.

I absolutely feel for you guys, Hidan-anon and your friends. I, too, would be seething if someone I love was harrassed in the way Hidan (and co) has been. I do not know the extent of the harrassment. But I believe you when you say, that you've suffered. And I am very sorry you have been through that.

I also feel for Hidans friends, who, (bless their hearts) really are trying to protect them from further harm. An absolutely understandable sentiment.

I do however, also really feel for Kisame, who, (bear with me here) is probably being framed. They have been faced with a lot of backlash from party 1, have tried to defend themselves to no avail, up to the point of having to retreat. And all that...for what?

Act III: The Point I'm trying to make

Do none of you realise, that you're being pinned against each other?

There is a person (or perhaps several) that has harrassed Hidan-anon with very vile threats and they are getting away with it. There is someone out there, that is having the time of their life, watching you scratch each others eyes out, causing pain and suffering for everyone involved, while they sit back and watch the show.

Kisame-anon has not sent you these messages. They have proof of it. Wether you believe them or not, is up to you, but...

Do you really want to keep hurling hate at a person, that is just as much a victim as you are? A person who, themselves, is a victim of sexual abuse and would never even think of the idea of sending someone rape threats?

Would you not rather work together to bring that (pardon my french) asshat to justice, that is playing sick games with the both of you?

And mind you, it's not just Kisame you're isolating. You're isolating their friends, who are doing the same as you: Protecting those they care about.

You're isolating kind strangers like me, who just want to roleplay without the drama, by blocking them by mere association.

And you're isolating oblivious newcomers, who might have the misfortune of stumbling over the "wrong" blog at the wrong time.

This is not okay guys.

And coercing others into doing the same (blocking by association) is further doing damage, because many people just want to stay away from the drama and thus do as you say without much thought. The whole thing is harmful in itself, but it's worse, because you're doing it to the wrong person.

Kisame has evidence that they're innocent. Kisame also has a quite solid theory who it is. Do you not want to at least have a look at it?

If you truly care about the safety and wellbeing of your friends, I strongly suggest you do. Because the actual predator is still out there.

I am glad that Hidan went to the police. I hope that they find who is behind all of this and that they get taken care of for good. Because like things stand now, you're about to drag an innocent person to the guillotine and letting the true perpetrator go. And you're dividing an entire RP fandom, that used to be a safe space.

I don't want this to happen.

Act IV: So...what now?

I want this post to be a wake up call. A wake up call for all those who are as confused, as I was and unsure what to do; but also, especially, to Hidan-anon and friends. Please, let us put down arms and find a solution.

I care about you. And I care about Kisame. And I love this little RP space we built and the friends I made here. I want us to stand together, acknowledge each other's suffering and grow as people. Let us talk things out.

I want this post to be a safe place for exchange. Feel free to add your thoughts and sentiments in the comments. Everything is welcome, as long as it is respectful and communicated calmly. I am more than happy to provide you with a neutral ground to talk things out. My DMs and Asks are always open for anyone who needs an ear or a shoulder.

We, as Naruto fans, more than anyone else, should know that hate creates nothing but more hate. So let us lead with compassion and patience. And listen to each other. Thank you for your attention.

#naruto rp #mod speaks

[our-transfeminine-experience]

Hey I'm not transfem but I just want to say: THANK YOU SO MUCH for disavowing the TMA/TME binary. As a nonbinary person, it really hurts to have an AGAB-based term be considered an important part of my identity and how I experience transphobia. Even worse, it lumps me in with my cisgender oppressors. Unfortunately I've been a bit harassed by other people for speaking out about that, so it feels really good to see someone standing up for people like me :) I hope you're having a good day!

hi! i'm so glad to have received this ask. i hate the binary of TMA/TME so much because nobody is exempt from any form of oppression, that's literally not how oppression works. also, i'm intersex and find that binary to be exclusive of my community and not made with a lot of intersex people in mind.

i'm sorry you've been harassed for speaking out about this. nobody deserves mistreatment for speaking up when their experience is minimized and defined in a way that isn't accurate.

i hope you have a good day too, anon <3

#our transfeminine experience #not transfem #transphobia #intersexism

[olderthannetfic]

Something I find really grating is people who self-identify as fandom olds who think it's gross of these damn kids these days to like and admit to liking interaction with their fanwork. "Back in my day I read fic in a .txt file with no ability to comment at all and we all liked it that way!" Okay but my mom wrote Star Trek zine fic and people would respond and pass on comments to the zine distributors about things that other fans wrote, drew, etc. It wasn't a moment of great shame where they awkwardly admitted yeah, they are guilty of the uncool sin of liking a thing someone else created. It was a "I love this and I want you to know I love it!" that was not done with a disclaimer going "not that I need human interaction, I'm a super cool lone wolf who needs no one!" and was received happily by fandom creators, who did not then cringe and go, "I'm sorry I like feedback, that's super gross of me, I know I should be against social interaction like the cool kids". Before fan zines, people were still writing fan letters to creators of things they liked. Before I knew what fanfic was, I still doodled fan comics when I was eight and liked it when my friends read it and said they liked it. Before fan letters, people still had fans of their work. Shakespeare spoke with fans. It's not a new, rare, sick thing to enjoy creating something and enjoy people commenting on what you've made.

"You're trying to turn fanfic into social media!!!1!" is always the strawman this gets met with, but... no. Before social media was a concept, before the oldest fandom old's grandpa was born, people were still sharing things with others and enjoying getting a response. People have not, traditionally, created in the hopes of never having to put up with something as awful as someone saying "I loved this!" about their creation. Either my entire Art of World Civilization class last semester was wrong or in fact humans have traditionally been totally fine with people reacting to what they create and in fact sharing things with the intent no one speak to you about it is a very foreign, unusual thing, not a new-fangled trend of the icky teens. Creating things for the joy of it and not hiding it away lest someone make a comment was the way things were done for thousands of years. That's how folk art works.

Maybe some people really long for the days of downloading things as a .txt file and not seeing hits, kudos or (worst of all) comments. But the idea that liking comments or liking replying to comments means you're part of the problem in fandom baffles me. Why would I dislike it when someone says, "I really like this line!" and why would not replying be better? I get it, I'm Gen Z, I'm a special snowflake, I'm desperate for attention, etc., but so are most generations before mine. Art galleries in pre-Revolutionary Paris didn't exist because of us darn kids and our need for validation. They existed because liking feedback is pretty natural. And not wanting to see feedback is natural, too - that's why I know so many adults who have never shared anything they've written - but it's not the only "correct" opinion out there.

It's weird that in an era of death threats, rape threats, suicide bait, racism, Islamophobia, antisemitism, transphobia and queerphobia in fandom all being discussed, instead of going, "Harassment is bad" a good chunk of people went, "Interaction is bad and liking it is bad, too."

Fandom as a solitary endeavor doesn't make sense to me. When did we go from "fans interacting is fine" to "oh gross, fucking kids and their attempts to turn AO3 into social media"?

I see people like the anon who proposed the "win" solution of not even being able to leave kudos on a work on AO3, shutting down all features that might risk a word being spoken to another person, and I just don't get it. I don't get why that would be a good thing. I get that if you speak to others you risk a negative interaction, so some people don't want to do it. Wanting existing spaces to rip out any and all features in place that allow communication, I don't get. I genuinely do not see what is wrong about interacting with someone about something you wrote, or about something someone else wrote.

It's honestly kind of depressing to me to imagine not being able to gush and write a super long comment to an author about how much I like their work. I love picking out individual lines I loved and pieces of prose that painted a picture for me. I enjoy quoting bits and explaining how that worked even better for me on a reread than it did the first time now that it's in full context. I like telling authors how a scene made me bite my lip because I was worried and tense because I was so invested in their writing. And no author, not one, has ever turned to me and gone, "Ugh, you Gen Z and your comments! Whatever happened to the good old days?"

I see the "don't speak, want to be spoken to or respond" attitude on DW and on tumblr from people who self-identify as fandom olds and I'm sorry to get all Gen Z psychoanalytical on you, but all I think to myself when I read that is, "Who hurt you?", because that's the only reason I can imagine someone viewing people interacting with others as bad. It reads as a trauma thing.

--

Really? That's a "fandom Old" thing now? I thought most people were still hung up on how community was so much better on LJ or whatever.

[stackslip]

anyhow anon (i mean the first one, the vice video one, though for all i know i've been getting the same anon talking to me about this subject in the past weeks/months and if so good lord please just dm i cannot do anon messages i barely receive them half the time) sorry if my tone is so mean tonight, i've had a bad day and also i'm genuinely tired of a lot of these arguments bc as you've said yourself they're sourced from soundbites on twitter and don't actually want to delve deep into the subject bar a couple of videos and bad studies, often from the University of Jesus Christ Our Lord TM, and it's getting tiring. i am not doing all of this in the name of jacking off in peace, i *want* sexual violence rates to be greatly reduced and i *want* survivors of csa to be helped. it's part of why i'm so angry about this! for years i've seen friends and loved ones actively retraumatized by people for not being Good Victims, and i have never seen this attitude ever actually do anything for survivors--sometimes it would flat out make it worse, people harassing current victims of csa who would be writing dark stuff on their blog to process *ongoing abuse* and patting themselves on the back bc they chased them off the website and thus saved the children from the real problem--bad fanfiction. it is at most useless, at worst actively fucking harmful to survivors of sexual violence.

#rape tw #csa tw #eli talks

[tizzyizzy]

Hey, some people in the fandom seem to be struggling with this, so I made a quick quiz for review.

You're in a fandom. There is a subset of this fandom who enjoy a particular character, interpretation, or ship that you disagree with/dislike. Members of this group begin sharing their experiences of being harassed for the character/interpretation/ship they enjoy. How do you respond?

A. Claim that you've never seen incidents of harassment, so they must be lying about it. Perhaps they're sending the mean anons to themselves?

B. Say that everyone gets sent harassment on the internet, so they shouldn't be so sensitive. Victim blame by suggesting they deserve it for not blocking and turning off anonymous messages.

C. Say that these messages containing wishes for the receivers' death and speculation about their masturbatory habits are actually just civil disagreement and criticism, and criticism isn't harassment.

D. Lament that by compiling these incidents, they are making them your problem and implying that you should be taking some kind of action about it, but you've never sent harassment. Say publicly that you don't care if someone sends abusive anonymous messages to this group, but it is kind of annoying that when they are sent harassment that gives them excuses to whine about being harassed.

E. None of the above

Picked your answer?

Okay! The correct answer is: E. None of the above

But maybe you're wondering how you should respond? Here's an example:

"It looks like Group is being harassed just because they enjoy character/interpretation/ship. I may disagree with Group, but I'm sorry that is happening to them, and I don't condone harassment of any kind."

Hope this helped!

(Turning off the sarcasm, this is seriously a skill that will serve you well. Sometimes, members of a group you dislike or disagree with will be victimized in some way. Even if you dislike members of that group, that doesn't mean dismissing or downplaying abuse against them is okay. Making it clear you're against harassment helps create an environment that's safer for everyone.)

#izzy hands #ofmd #our flag means death #izzy critical #izzy hands critical

[starry-eyed-fag]

Sorry fellow petekey shipper here but I am curious about how anti petekey shipping is rooted in ableism and transphobia? (Obviously you don't need to answer if you don't want to but I am curious, I'm also not super involved in the fandom so that might be why)

I've received two asks about this same thing with very similar wording so I'll just answer this one, hope other anon isn't too offended lol. I've spoken a bit about this before, but I'm too lazy to go find the post, and I have free time. The transphobic and ableist roots of the vocal group of anti-Petekeys that exist (and other anti-RPF people that go to a very far extreme in general) are very different so I'll address both of those separately.

(Also there will be very brief mentions of SA in my answer, addressing a common anti-RPF argument.) (Also also I'm not a Petekey shipper to clarify but I do welcome them on my blog.) (Also also also there is a TLDR at the end but please don't raise your pitchforks until you've read the whole post.) (Also also also also it's okay if you disagree with me, we can still be friends as long as you're civil.)

I also want to provide a disclaimer: it is okay to dislike any ship (or even RPF in general) for any reason. I'm not trying to claim that it's inherently transphobic and/or ableist to dislike or be personally uncomfortable with RPF. The problem comes in when people use their personal dislike of RPF and extend that to harassing RPF readers and writers (who I will henceforth call RPF enjoyers so I don't have to write that out) and trying to demonize us.

Part One: The Ableism

Many people who hate RPF to the extent that they shame RPF enjoyers do so because of ableism. In the process, they demonize us neurodivergent folk, whether we are RPF enjoyers or not. Often they will say "please just be normal about [person]" or "you're so obsessed and parasocial" when someone's just writing fic or making jokes about the ship being real.

Parasocial relationships, while real, are often used as leverage to further ostracize and discriminate against neurodivergent people, especially autistic people like myself. In RPF discourse, often visibly autistic people are accused of "breaking [person]'s boundaries" or, in some cases, even having our hyperfixations or special interests be compared to literal sexual assault.

As an actual survivor of SA, comparing a neurodivergent person's mostly harmless interests to SA is not only extremely disrespectful but also ableist. Often it is more visibly autistic or higher support needs autistic people that get this argument used against us, but any autistic or neurodivergent person can be targeted.

All of this is very weird and suspicious. Often, more moderate Petekey antis will say things like "you can ship Petekey, just be normal about it". This basically translates to "you can ship Petekey as long as you're a neurotypical". And this proves that a lot of what people are calling "just respect people's boundaries!!!!" is just ableism covered up with therapy speak and progressive language.

Part Two: The Transphobia

There is a lot to get into with the transphobia of the FOB fandom, and if I were to talk about this fandom's transphobia and all of my thoughts on it we would be here for several hours and a few hundred thousand words, but I do want to state a few facts to get us on the same page.

Trans people are targeted, harassed, and called out in this fandom far more often than cis people are.

Trans people in general society are often viewed as predators simply for existing, and when this intersects with a mental disorder or neurodivergence, we are even more likely to be ostracized or called out for things that really aren't that big a deal.

Our sexualities are seen as inherently predatory, no matter whether we're straight, gay, bi, or any other thing. In the eyes of society, there is no "good" sexuality that you can be when you are trans in the same way that you can be straight when you are cis.

When we are called out or targeted, we face the consequences of that worse than cis people do.

Many of these forms of discrimination are passive and not done on purpose, but good intentions aren't enough. Harm is still done to trans people while cis people look the other way.

So, how does all of this tie into Petekey?

WELL

Have you ever been on the Petekey side of Tumblr? Of course you have, you're a Petekey shipper. You may not have counted how many trans people you saw there, but you definitely noticed us. We were there. While we are about 1% of the general population, I would estimate that we are about 50%-70% of Petekey (and general bandom RPF) Tumblr.

All of this being said, the counter argument from the antis would be "we're not doing this because you're trans, it's because you're shitty and do [x thing they claim RPF is]". Unfortunately for them, this is no excuse to use transphobic stereotypes in order to "call us out" for the horrible crime of... writing fiction. And isn't it suspicious how these people very rarely come after m/f ships (exclusing x reader, because that's attacked a lot)?

HMMMMMMMMM

Trans people expressing our sexualities through this community, this ship, this form of media, are demonized and called predators. We are compared to people who commit SA, and legitimate abusers, for writing fiction. We are harassed and called out for being RPF enjoyers far more than cis people are.

Addressing the Bad Ones

Before an angry anon comes into my inbox talking about this, yes, I am aware that some Petekey shippers are racist, and I don't support that at all. Racists aren't welcome on my blog. Because I am white, I don't really have much to say about the vocal minority of Petekey shippers who are racist, but I do think that they are a problem and that it's important for the Petekey community to fight racism alongside the rest of the FOB fandom.

For those unaware, it has been brought to many in this fandom's attention that it is racist to reduce every FOB song written by a black man, Pete Wentz, to be about one white man, Mikey Way. This is indeed very racist. I don't know what the consensus among black fans is about how far you have to go about overanalyzing FOB songs in that perspective before it becomes racist, but I have never once seen a black fan, even one that doesn't personally like RPF, claim that it's racist to ship Petekey at all.

This vocal minority of racists is absolutely no excuse to harass anyone, especially those belonging to other minority groups that already have hate and harassment targeted at them for the most minor fuck-ups. Your (justified) anger with a few racists isn't an excuse to be ableist and transphobic because transphobia and ableism, even towards bad people, harms all trans and ND/disabled people who aren't racist.

I also want to state again that if this is your reason for disliking or being uncomfortable with Petekey in general, that is entirely valid! It's your job to curate your own online experiences and I have no interest in policing what you do with your own blog. Please just don't harass enjoyers of RPF or use transphobic and ableist language or stereotypes in your discourse.

This goes both ways. Even if you are an RPF enjoyer you should familiarize yourself with all types of bigotry to avoid accidentally repeating it, and if you do fuck up, own up to it, apologize, and don't do it again.

Conclusion/TLDR

Dislike of or personal discomfort with RPF is totally fine and normal, and so is thinking that RPF is bad, as long as you recognize that the negative aspects of RPF are a symptom, not the main problem here. The main problem is the commodification of human beings under capitalism.

However, RPF has been very important to queer and trans culture, especially bandom RPF in the 2000s. There is a vocal group of people who believe that writing RPF is literally the same as SA or that it is justified to harass RPF enjoyers. Neither of those beliefs are okay and they are rooted in ableism and transphobia for reasons I stated above.

Some Petekey shippers are racist, and unironically claiming that every FOB song is about Mikey is racist because you are reducing a black man to his feelings for a white person. This is still no excuse to go after the non-racist Petekey shippers.

I don't think that everyone who hates RPF to that extreme is trying to be ableist or transphobic, but the more you look at it, the more it becomes increasingly clear where their rhetoric comes from. This is still where they are getting their rhetoric from. They've likely internalized a lot of radfem and/or TEHM talking points as well, which is what I've seen for a lot of these types of people.

Also, mutuals: none of this is directed at you! If you were that anti-RPF to the point I would consider you transphobic or ableist, I wouldn have probably blocked you by now.

Also also, if I got something wrong, especially about the racism, feel free to correct me! I'm always open to good faith disagreement.

Also also also, I'm going to reblog this on my discourse sideblog because this post is more on the discoursey side.

#ask and ye shall receive #petekey #rpf discourse #shipping discourse #long post #discourse #shipcourse

[destinyc1020]

Honestly for me, sadly, it's the fandoms that have ruined other actors for me. Orrr more specifically, an actor (TC I'm sorry!). I was on twitter once a while back and pointed out the hypocrisy that his fans had when they needlessly dragged Tom in an extremely catty way that also made fun of his dyslexia. Two of those stans took issue with me pointing out this problem and continued to harass me, making new accounts to impersonate other people and to talk to me again. It was so disturbing, and these people were incredibly obsessed with TC to the point where it was just worrisome. I seriously concerned that they would try to hack into my account because of how harshly they spammed me with threats. It was just a big bummer of an experience because it was legitimate harassment (I reported it and at least two of their spare accounts were suspended, at least), but it put a huge, huge dampener on any kind of interest I had in seeing his projects or supporting his work.

And having kind of surveyed the twitter situation from afar for the past few years, I think the majority of the utterly rude hate for Tom does come from a bigger percentage of Tim's fans. With Tom, the toxic ones to Tim on twitter I can count on with one hand. But with Tim, the amount of his fans who truly detest Tom on an unreasonable level are really up there and it seems normalized among a pretty good amount of them (strictly speaking this is on twitter, I think the situation on tumblr is much different thankfully!). And the sad thing is that if I didn't have that experience with the harassment, I wouldn't have any strong feelings about TC one way or another, maybe I would have even come to like him. Now I can't look at him without thinking about the online harassment I received that honestly messed with my mental health for a bit. Stans that behave really inappropriately like that NEED to realize that even though they want to 'defend' their fave, what they are actually doing in some cases is turning others OFF to their work! Thankfully I have not been bothered since their accounts were suspended, and I certainly spend MUCH more time on tumblr than twitter these days which is so much more positive for my headspace, but I really urge fans of all actors to BE KIND most of all.

Thank you for the space to rant Destiny, and for your blog! It really shifted my fandom experience to find this corner of the internet, things are so much more balanced and reasonable on tumblr compared to twitter, it feels very healthy and fun to follow things here. I think the word count on tumblr makes a big difference, here it's more about deep thoughts than just quick one liners!

Wowww..... 🤯

First of all Anon, can I just say??? I am SO sorry to read what you went through with re: to Timmy's fans. I'll just say right from the outset that online bullying and threats are NEVER okay. 😤

Idk why some fandoms feel like they have to be so unhinged like this. 🥴 If it's getting to the point where you feel the need to have to bully someone or make threats towards them online, then hun....you need to either STOP stanning whoever you're stanning, or take some LOOONG breaks away from social media, because I promise you, it is NEVER that deep. 🤨

I don't even think Timmy (or any of these actors for that matter) would feel happy that some of their fans are attacking people like that online on their behalf. 😔

Thank you for sharing your story Anon... I am SO glad that you're now doing so much better now that you've left Twitter and stay mostly on Tumblr now. 🥰

In regards to your feelings about Timmy....I'll say that you're definitely not alone. I know some other fellow fans of Tom have felt completely turned OFF from Timmy simply (and largely in part) due to his FANDOM. I know not all Timmy fans are like this (of course not), but based on what I've been hearing from others, it seems that for some reason, there's a large segment of his fandom who IS like this towards Tom or Tom fans. 😔 Honestly? I think a lot of it goes back to the fact that they both auditioned for Spiderman. Maybe some of Timmy's fans feel threatened by the fact that Tom got the role over Timmy?? Idk.... 🤷🏾‍♀️

Against my BETTER judgement, I took a little gander at Twitter sometime after Ep 8 aired, and I just did a search on Tom's name in tweets, and BOY was THAT a mistake.... 😒🙄🤦🏾‍♀️ I totally understand what fans mean by Tom gets way more hate on Twitter than most actors in his age range. I even did a search on Timmy's name just for comparison.

Granted, I don't think Timmy is in the same fame/popularity bracket as Tom, but it was just interesting to see the stark contrast. While most tweets were about sightings, thirst tweets, pics, fan encounters, filming news, upcoming projects, and other random postings for Timmy, with Tom ,it seemed like a lot of the tweets were jokes/memes at his expense, film bros hating on him, random jokes regarding Tom and Zendaya, and just overall IMMATURITY honestly.🙄

It was very heartbreaking to see. 😭

I think the hate on Tom is actually very multi-faceted, and that's what makes it somewhat unique. I mean, ALL actors/celebrities get hate at some point or another...that's just an unfortunate part of the business. 🥴😔 But I think with Tom, the hate on him comes from SO many different angles, and I think that's why fans seem to feel it more.

There's the hate coming from:

Twitter Film Bros

People who hate on Tom simply because of jealousy and the fact that he's so popular and successful

Tomdaya Antis who don't like Tom and Zendaya together

Zendaya Stans who DON'T like Z with Tom

People in the GP who just don't like him for whatever reason 🙄

Spider-Man fans who ONLY like Tobey

Spider-Man fans who ONLY like Andrew

Spider-Man fans who ONLY like Tobey OR Andrew

Timmy Chalamet Stans who hate on Tom with a vengeance for some reason 🙄

Members of the gp who think he's too "ugly", "too short", too "WHATEVER....

People who just don't like Marvel films PERIOD lol

Immature fans/meme-generators who just use Tom's name for likes and clicks in order to be "funny" or go "viral" on Twitter 🙄

Have I missed anyone?? 😅🤣

Anyway.... I think THIS is why the hate is so prevelant...It seems to be coming from ALL angles, and I honestly don't know if any other actor (in our generation at least) has ever had to deal with this level of hate before....at least, not on a social media level. 😔 I'm pretty sure this is probably one reason why he got rid of social media.

So yea, it's very sad.... 😭 Why do you think I stay away from Twitter MOST of the time?? It's because, it's VERY negative, and I don't need that energy disturbing my spirit and positive vibes. 😌

I know I sound like a broken record, but I still urge fans to PLEASE stop going on Twitter..... Ignore that nonsense. People are immature on that app, and they run jokes into the GROUND.

We can't control what people say or do unfortunately, but if you DO see something that seems to really just cross the line on that app, definitely report it!

Anyway, sorry for this long dissertation Anon...If you made it this far, I hope you are now in a better place. 🥰

The last thing I will say is, please don't allow immature Timmy fans/or other fandoms to ruin you of enjoying an actor's work. You have to separate the actor from his fans. It might even be a good idea to just watch the work and ignore the fandom(s). 🤷🏾‍♀️

#sorry for the loooong dissertation #I just felt like some things needed to be said #twitter

[girlyholic]

Hi!! I love your blog! I really appreciate what you and girly-kei-tips do and I love going to you guys' blogs from time to time to see any new info or tidbits. I'm sorry about the harassment you've been receiving just for educating people. I don't know if this is too personal a question but what exactly attracted you to girly kei and how did you find out about the fashion in the first place?

Glad you like the blog, Anon! I hope to keep it going for a while. ♡

As for how I found out about Girly...

When I was younger, I was very in love with Lolita fashion, which sent me down the rabbit hole of everything associated with that. However, I never ended up getting into it, as I found it to be a little too intricate and detailed (not to mention expensive) for what I ultimately wanted to wear day-to-day.

Then when I hit middle school, I started seeing this thing called Larme Kei popping up, and thought it was very cute! I especially liked Liz Lisa during this time (and hey, I still do!). However this period was also my "extreme casual" phase where I wore nothing but oversized anime T-shirts, so I never made any effort to actually wear the style. That came much later!

But what drew me to it was that it had the frilly vibe that I liked about Lolita fashion, except it was way more casual! And this was even more true of how Girly looked in the past as well. I get nostalgic for old early 2010s releases because I'm always like "omg I remember when I wanted to wear that".

Overall, I am glad to have found it! It's been in my life for a long time and it's nice that it's still around.

#asks #tempted to tag this as “mod lore” LOL

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

seeking advice and support

what should i do if my support system is suddenly crumbling and I have no one to turn to? i have bpd and cptsd among other things and lately there's been a bunch of shit happening in my friend group that tore the group in half. another friend and I were complaining about feeling isolated and ignored in the group, especially around one person, and we waned to leave, but the toxic isolating person wouldn't let us without spreading lies that we were threatening her.

eventually the situation started to cool down so I sent a message to a neutral friend just stating what I felt as I hadn't actually expressed what I wanted or how I felt, I had just stuck by my other friend's side as they were being harassed. i explained that I didn't want to stop hanging out with everyone, just the toxic person, and that I didn't want to talk with the toxic person unless she apologized for the harm she caused and started to make a genuine change.

that neutral friend passed along that message to the toxic person and I received a very long, very nasty text essentially stating that she wasn't sorry and calling me things like a pick-me, manipulative, attention-seeking, etc., mostly for. mundane things such as... crying a few times at lunch and asking my friend group for a bit of support while going through rough patches.

i immediately shared the message with my best friend who got pissed at the toxic person but then this morning sent a copy-pasted text to the 4 of us most involved in it telling us he wasn't taking sides, that everyone's messages were reasonable, and that everyone needs to stop talking about it because it was making it worse.

he told me several times earlier that I'm not a bad person and she was lying, and he said this morning that the message wasn't meant to be an attack, but I still feel a bit hurt and betrayed. i didn't actually do anything; I hate drama and never fought or tried to escalate things. i was done with the situation and just wanted to tell the neutral friend what I felt and that I wanted to maintain a friendship with them.

i just don't know what to do. i went from having a loving, secure friend group of like 7 to now maybe 2 friends. one of them being the one I was defending - who I love to death but isn't great at support - and my best friend who sent that message this morning. i feel like I can't show my emotions or ask if he believes that I'm manipulative because what if that's being manipulative? but I can't hide my emotions because not only is that. incredibly unhealthy but that also might be manipulative. I've been spiraling as a result of what that toxic person said as being abusive and as horrid as my abusers is one of my biggest fears and something I regularly panic about (ableism towards bpd from people doesn't help at all). i don't know how to reach out or if I even can, and I can't just make new friends as I find that extremely difficult and it also takes months or even years for me to be able to trust and open up to someone and get past "polite acquaintance conversation" mode.

please tag as "vulture anon"

Hi vulture,

I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. Especially when you have BPD or CPTSD, needing to cut ties with toxic friends can be especially challenging. It may help to remember that you deserve to have friends that respect and support you, and it's better to have no friends than toxic ones that enable or defend each other for things they're being rightfully called out for. It sounds like the things you communicated were reasonable, and the friend you thought you could confide in was merely an informant to the toxic friend, who responded very poorly.

Honestly this is not a situation you deserve to be in. Not only being around the toxic friend, but the friends who defend them. Your toxic friend can say it wasn't meant as an attack, but if they genuinely meant no harm then they would've understood that their intent doesn't change the impact, and they would've taken accountability for how it affected you anyways. Instead, by saying it wasn't meant as an attack, what they mean is they don't feel like you have the right to be hurt, but you do. Personally, if a friend passed along our conversation to a toxic friend, not caring about how I would be retaliated against, I would cut off both friends, as hard as that is when you struggle with a fear of abandonment. But it's important not to let your fear of abandonment be taken advantage of.

It doesn't sound like you're in the wrong whatsoever here. If you chose to cut off these friends they make you feel like you're making the wrong choice, but at the end of the day, you don't deserve to be around people who mistreat, guilt, and manipulate you.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #vulture anon #tw abuse #tw emotional abuse

[sometransgal]

Just saw your body image problems post, and I wasn't sure if i could say anything that'd help, but i still want to say something cause i know you dont deserve to feel like that.

I dont really... find things in general attractive? But theres so many people on here who think you look amazing! I've seen asks you've received and comments on your selfies, and I am 100% sure they were all genuine. You're really cool, and if someone has told you you're ugly or gross, they're not just an ass they also have bad taste.

Sorry i know im probably not someone who can help but i hadnt seen any responses yet and really wanted you to at least get something asap

You were one of the first ones according to my notes so you succeeded in delivering asap. So thank you for that. The effort you put in means just as much as any compliments you could've given about my attractiveness.

Also I do want to say it's not that anyone has harassed me or anything like that... I needed to get a picture done for an ID and I've never seen a more hideous picture of myself... I look like a 60 year old who's melting... it's not my best... and it caused me a great deal of distress... and then the rest of my day went tits up which is why I'm here answering asks the next day.

Anyway thank you again anon for the kindness.

[petitesmafia]

hey i just wanted to say i'm really sorry people are being so ridiculous and trying to involve you in their drama. i've followed you on twitter for a long time and when i started a witchblr on tumblr and made a fandom/aesthetic sideblog too i followed you, and you've always seemed so chill and nice and you stay in your lane.

you really don't deserve such wild accusations and hatred directed your way. these people aren't asking for justice, they're just straight up harrassing you.

the hypocrisy is comical.

staying off anon because if people come my way, let em. i'm not afraid of people who clearly don't get enough fresh air and sunlight. i'm an ignore, block and move on kind of girl. why fuel the fire?

anyway. you're entirely valid, ena. you're sweet and you're the best and biggest chuuya supporter out there. wishing you a wonderful new year's and i hope you have a great year ahead! ily 💜

hihi! ahhh thank you for your sweet message 🥹💓💓

the hypocrisy is comical for sure bc at this point I think they're trying to use the drama to harass me, because if it was really just about "stopping harassment", they would've respectfully left me alone when I politely (and privately) asked not to be involved. instead their drama campaign has morphed to include me bc "ena's always defending that person" with absolutely nothing to show for it, because I haven't and they know that. (funnily enough, I received anon messages around a year ago about this as well, with them attacking me for following that person when I didn’t— so it just seems like they’re jumping at any chance to “cancel” me and this is the only “problematic” thing they can reach for. which, hilariously, isn’t even true).

anyways, thank you so much again for taking time out of your day to send me this kind message! It really means a lot to me and I really really really appreciate it, more than I can put into words. To be completely candid, being in this fandom has been fucking awful this past year ahaha the amount of harassment I’ve received for breathing is astonishing butttt messages like this make up for it 🥹🫶 apologies for the late reply but I hope you had an amazing new year’s and wishing you the best in 2023! sending you lots of good vibes (and expect more Chuuya this year!! hehe) 💓💓💓

#ena replies

[dear-indies]

not sure about anyone else, but I did ask you to tag stuff nicely a few weeks back and explained that I really appreciated what you were doing as someone with family stuck there, but that I used tumblr to destress and you immediately tagged the few posts I assumed you had forgotten to tag on accident. people should remember there are humans behind this blog and accidents happen. tumblr also eats asks on the regular. I know I've asked for fc help and it's been eaten because you've answered other asks I've sent mainly telling you to hydrate or weird quirky anons so I know I'm not blocked. if people are blocked it's for good reason and they should stop trying to harass you both. thank you for being you

i'm so sorry for forgetting to tag posts i'll 100% be more mindful about doing so (especially when posting things because i think that's where i've been forgetting 😭) but thank you so much for being understanding and sending me hydrate asks because i... need to do that right now but PLEASE resend any fc help asks I haven't replied to within a week or feel free to ask if i've received them in another ask!! would it be helpful if i made a google document or something of asks i've received and am working on? idk but if people want that but i can do it!

[bougiebutchbitch]

Hey I saw your post about anon haters and I agree. I've had some awful comments lately on one of my alternate blogs for a relatively small unknown fandom. Do you have any tips on dealing with this sort of thing?

Oh gosh nonnie - first off I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that. I say this to everyone who gets anon hate, but just... please know that they're useless pathetic cowards lmao.

By dint of being Loud And AnnoyingTM, I collect some anon hate from pretty much every fandom I’m in. It's easy to start wondering if the problem is you, until you realise you're literally just yelling happily about what you love on your blog.

If people don't like it, all they have to do is block and blacklist you and move on. There is never any excuse for harrassment.

Thankfully, as a result, I've developed a pretty solid way of handling anon hate!

Disclaimer: it goes without saying that there is no 'wrong' or 'right' way to deal with anon hate. It's horrible, and the victim is never at fault. The below is just some observations from having been on the internet and fielding this stuff since I was eleven (so, over a decade).

My heart goes out to you, and to everyone who's receiving anon hate. You deserve better.

First up, there are several different sorts of anon hate. Here are some of the common ones:

1. Basic trolling. Nasty messages that are just looking for engagement.

Solution: Just block it. Don't feed them. Laugh about it in your groupchat. Mock them mercilessly to your friends, but give them no public exposure.

2. Attempts to trigger. These are the cruellest: when people send you deliberately triggering content.

Solution: Blocking often doesn't work. A lot of these cunts use VPNs, because their sole purpose in life is to harass others, and they've figured out how to do it. Ignoring them doesn't work. They will just keep coming to your inbox and filling it with incredibly triggering stuff, because again, this is where they get off. Some of this stuff is very hard to even share and mock with your friends, because it's SO graphic and disgusting. If you're being targeted by a wanker like this, it's honestly best to turn off anon for at least a month.

I've tried to wait them out before while leaving anon on - for literally a year in one particularly pernicious case - and I got gross graphic triggering content in my inbox every fortnight or so despite me NEVER interacting or engaging.

So, just turn anon off. It's not worth it.

If they start making fake blogs to send you hate, report and block. If it gets too bad, turn off asks altogether. Again, it’s just not worth it.

3. People who are polite, but want you to change how you run your blog for literally no good reason except 'I am uncomfortable when you do not conform to my preferences'.

Solution: These are the most benign, but also the most annoying, lmao. I usually answer the first message I receive from people like this, mostly to mock them, because like... who does this rather than just unfollowing???? But if they keep trying to make it an argument when they're the ones coming into my online space and trying to make me change, rather than just... taking the very easy available measures to avoid me, I block 'em without warning or remorse.

Bye bitch.

I will say that one fun thing to do with this sort of person is to get one of your mates to send in another anon PRAISING you for EXACTLY what the anon is mad about lmaoooooooo

It makes them SO MAD, it's hilarious. I've farmed these idiots before and watched them have fucking breakdowns in my inbox from doing this skldflfsdjg. It's very satisfying, especially when you've got a whole groupchat laughing at them with you. But obviously, be aware that you're making them angry on purpose, and they might retaliate.

4. Bait. People who send you leading or misleading questions, in an attempt to get you to say something problematic, which will then encourage more hate.

Solution: You're under no obligation to answer. You don’t need to prove a nything to anyone.

Even if you answer perfectly, a lot of these weirdos will try to twist your words in any way they can, deliberately misquote or misinterpret what you’re saying. Just block 'em. It's not worth your energy to try and figure out their 'gotcha!’ games.

#

I hope that at least helps you feel a little less alone, nonnie. Please never be afraid to block people and turn off anon, if it's all getting too much. It doesn't make you weak; it doesn't mean they've won. It means you're taking important measures to set boundaries and show them that this sort of behaviour is unacceptable!

I'm wishing you all the best. It must be especially tough in a small fandom, where you feel like you know everyone. I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with this. x

#anon hate

[maslows-pyramid-scheme]

black-pill lesbians: *organize months-long harassment campaigns to flood the inboxes of bisexuals and taunt them about their rape and calling them vile names*

piqued-curiosity: we need to have compassion for these women, I will always empathize with them no matter what they say, you have to understand they're angry about bisexual homophobia. and it doesn't matter what lesbians say to bihets anyway actually you're the bigot here for making such a big deal out of this.

lesbian: im so lonely because bisexuals are self-victimizers that don't understand their stupid rape and abuse aren't real oppression its so homophobic how they think they're real people

piqued: well you have to understand lesbians are really lonely so of course we're moved to just ignore rape apologia, I don't understand why you're demonizing me for no reason

lesbian: bi women are identical to TIMs, they're no more similar to us than het men, they're nothing but dick worshipers, their supposed abuse is just a ploy to weaponize against lesbians

piqued: well maybe I would have used different language, but ugh stop getting hung up on her calling you dick worshipers and belittling your rape and abuse and comparing you to het men. She's NOT a misogynist she's very insightful and you male worshipers need to listen to her.

bisexual: bisexuals shouldn't feel ashamed about having OSA, it's just a natural part of bisexuality.

piqued: what homophobic bullshit is this this makes me so angry this shows you people don't have any real issues

and this woman is supposedly the gold standard? soooo kind just because she pays lip service to the idea that most obviously crass behavior against bisexuals is bad (but then she says ok maybe its bad but it doesn't affect anything so who cares)? she's had excuses for them at every turn, but the most inoffensive words of bisexual positivity is proof bisexuals aren't really oppressed?

sorry this is so petty and random but no one takes anything against bisexuals seriously its all so clearly a game to them where they have to come out looking good but also put bisexuals in their place.

I think it's unfair to lesbians to take the actions of the and attribute them to the majority; lesbians and bisexual women (and gay and bisexual men) are the only people who will ever understand what it's like to have a 'different' sexuality in our heterosexist society.* I personally believe that this similarity far outweighs any of our real or perceived differences.

But I know the soul-crushing, hateful behaviour you're talking about. I've seen how 'black-pilled' lesbians treat bisexual activists on here - how they mock and harass bisexual rape victims, how they speak about us using degrading, sexualised, or biphobic language, how they belittle our experiences with discrimination ('it's just homophobia and misogyny' - that's from Piqued, if I'm not mistaken), how they shamelessly reframe bisexual mistreatment to attack gendies/misogynists/men ('Amber Heard is a victim of misdirected lesbophobia'), how they involve themselves in our business while simultaneously complaining about bisexuals involving themselves in lesbian affairs. I've also seen how their followers and the followers of their followers just... look the other way.

But it doesn't matter, does it? To black-pilled lesbians, an imperfect lesbian is only ever a well-meaning victim, and an imperfect bisexual is only ever a bad faith abuser/oppressor/handmaiden/what-have-you.

Anon, I'm so sorry if you've been on the receiving end of the black-pilled bullshit (and it's defo not petty and random - there's so goddamn much of it!). You're absolutely right - and feel free to reach out and vent anonymously/in my dms/to me on discord whenever you want.

#i honestly think we're targeted in ways that heterosexual men and women aren't (e.g. unicorn hunters appeasing boyfriends) #idm name dropping people - play stupid games win stupid prizes and all that (and am happy to provide other names) #i try to have a lot of empathy but there are limits to what we should accept #we need to stand up for ourselves more - to talk about our experiences and build a community #i hope i'm interpreting you correctly idk if subsequent 'lesbian' is a follow-on from 'black-pilled lesbian' or the followers of follwers #(the people who follow them for other content and don't seem to have a problem with the biphobic hate for whatever reason) #but please do feel free to message me whenever/however #anon

[jangyeevns]

sorry if this is old new also u don’t have to post this but one of my first discord rp experiences was w zelda & fleur and they literally made me feel like a villain for a whole month bc of their lack of communication + blocking me but then fleur unblocked me and kept joining my rps (to snoop and vaguely try to plot and act like nothing ever happened) so i’m glad u and others have been saying stuff cuz these people seriously made me feel like a menace to the rpc 💀

i'm definitely gonna answer because when don't i have something to say? LMAO

i can't speak to the zelda claims that have circulated since i've never interacted with them myself, so this is strictly an issue with fleur for me. i wasn't villainized until i got in the way of one of her potential endgames for her muse, in fact we were friends beforehand, but i look back on what we would talk about and can only feel pure disgust because i was a villain then, at least in my mind.

what was said at that time will never see the light of day because i ( and the other mun she befriended in our three way dm ) deeply regret fuelling her spite, jealousy and manipulative bullshit and don't care to have her use any receipts i have to suit her narrative or harass these muns even further, and i hate having the knowledge that i allowed her any influence over my judgment of others, over a lot of things actually. it’s not something i have to disclose necessarily as most would hate to put themselves in a negative light, but it’s to show not only accountability for what i myself participated in ( it was giving mean girls 2 vibes . calling it the og would inflate someone’s ego i’m sure ), but also that i have been on more than one side of fleur's fury and don't care to have others deal with it, end of.

... except not, because this is gonna be a whole rant FJSKGKDK

you are most definitely NOT a villain if fleur of all people claimed that you were back then, when she was in a position of authority and has famously used being an admin to her abusive advantage. i'm so sorry you've been on the receiving end of her god awful behaviour, but you're in pretty great company if i do say so myself 💅🏻 i can imagine it's difficult for anyone with that kind of history with another mun to have them in their own groups time and time again, especially when her behaviour has never strayed from the basic m.o. she's outed herself for ( by being a pathological liar in Everyone's dms ), but i hope this allows people to take a step back and consider the possible façade those like fleur will don to gain the attention and approval they so desperately crave.

at this point, receipts aren't necessary for me to believe someone, because i know what i've been through and my truth, as well as the experiences of a handful of other muns that correlate to everything that's been discussed this week – most of it we discussed months ago, so it tells you how easily you can find people in the community who've had a fucking bizarre encounter with her and how insane it is that it took this long to bring it into a more public space. you are valid, your stance is more than justified and if you get rude ass anons for deciding to call her ass out? don't mind her sheep ( and fleur disguising herself as one ), they don't know any better even at their big ages.

the gaslighting and harassment are out there now, and while i'm sure she'll still creep up with her new discord and attempt to do as she always does, i would assume other muns will be more vigilant moving forward and that's what matters most to me in all of this; sure, i'm being petty as fuck when she's brought up or when she invades my boundaries that me blocking her should've made VERY obvious, but my concern lies with the other muns she could manipulate, terrorize and use to her heart's content. they don't deserve to deal with that shit nor should we pipe down just because it bothers others, 2023 is the year of accountability and people can either join the movement or fuck right off 🤷🏻‍♀️

#.. okay i went Off #and for what? idk but i said what i said anyways gkdkf #glad you felt like you could come forward like this though !! we need more people to speak up in these situations #answered.