#idk i was just working on pure lesbian instinct!!

[wembleysfraggle]

I'm fucking crazy, but I was watching Disney's hunchback of notre dame with my partner and I mentioned that it'd be cool if Phoebus was a lady knight so 0_0 I couldn't rest till I sketched these out!

Super messy but, Hunchback If Everything Was the Same Except Phoebus Is A Woman!

#art tag #fanart #the hunchback of notre dame #disney hunchback of notre dame #phoebus #esmeralda #wlw #yuri #happy femslash february everyone 🫶🥺 #im gonna draw other wlw couples ofc but what a funny thing to start with 😂😂 #idk i was just working on pure lesbian instinct!! #cause lady knights are HOT and so is esmeralda #so this is like TEN TIMES BETTER 😤😤/j #it IS a masterpiece but everything can be improved with yuri lol #also dont come for me about women wouldnt be knights or something cause idk #this is for fun and for me and for GAYS

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

how do I come out as transmasc without anyone questioning if I'm still aroace/lesbian?

can gay girls have crushes on femme/androgynous presenting transmasc genderfluids? how are romantic attractions different from platonic/aesthetic?

sry im just confused about stuff 😅 life's chaotic

Sadly, having your identity questioned is part and parcel of being queer in a world like this, but you can try to educate people.

Try finding articles explaining transmasculinity and lesbianism—here’s one I could find! https://radiantbutch.medium.com/non-binary-lesbians-have-always-existed-7db6b9e7e646 - and send them to people you want to come out to. Cite examples from history, people like Leslie Feinberg, to prove transmasc lesbians exist.

And if that doesn’t work, you just gotta learn to not give a shit. It’s hard, and bigoted comments can sting like salt in a wound but remember those people are dumbasses and there’s a whole history of people like you.

Presentation is irrelevant—it’s gender that matters.

The thing is, some transmascs include themselves in lesbian attraction, some don’t. I’m transmasc, I consider myself a dude and I’m not included in lesbian attraction. There are some transmascs who feel included in lesbian attraction. It’s different depending on the transmasc.

Aesthetic attraction is based purely on looks/appearance. If you see someone and think they’re pretty/handsome/attractive, that’s aesthetic attraction.

Platonic attraction, is, well, platonic. It’s not romantic, it’s wanting to be someone’s friend, or loving someone in a platonic way (or just platonic attraction, not everyone feels love)

Romantic is, well, romantic. Sorry I can’t explain this very well afsfafs, the difference between romantic and platonic has always been instinctive and inexplainable for me. I’d say, like. 

Does thinking of calling this person your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner make you happy? Does thinking of saying “I love you” to them feel different than saying it to others you know? Do your feelings towards them feel *different* to your feelings towards your friends

For me romantic attraction is different because it’s like...different? Idk 😭 It makes me feel very very happy in a different way than friends make me feel happy, like cartwheel for joy say hi to the trees and sky kind of happy, the thought of being my crush’s boyfriend makes me happy, stuff like that. Not to sound like an allo but i Just Know

I tried to find articles but it’s all a bunch of amatonormative bullshit rip

Anyways, I hope I could help you out! Followers, if you can explain the difference between romantic and platonic attraction as well feel free too afsfafs

#ask #anon #helping out a questioning person

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

A Thousand Beach Boys Songs

PART TWENTY-EIGHT OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: drinking, drugs (just marijuana), smoking, anxiety about future, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 6.8K (idk this just happened)

Summary: Jess and Ella visit California.

The sun was high and bright in the Philadelphia sky, beating down on the concrete of the city, when Ella finally awoke at half past nine to the sound of a siren outside. Early August had brought a heat wave to the East coast, and the hot air always rose to the top floor of Truncheon. They were sleeping only under a thin blanket, and Ella had found she had thrown it off herself at some point in the night. Or perhaps Jess had. He was a light sleeper, often had bad dreams, tossing and turning. But his side of the bed was empty, with a sticky note left on the pillow in his place. She furrowed her brows; it was Saturday, the beginning of her last two weeks before classes and office hours started, and she didn’t know of him having any plans. Stifling a yawn, she picked up the note and squinted at it in the harsh sunlight streaming through the window.

Morning Daria,

Went to get coffee. Be back soon. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

-James Dean

In spite of the roll of her eyes, Ella snickered before rising out of bed. She pulled a mauve cotton dress over her head, tying her hair into a low bun. Padding on bare feet into the living room, she smiled as she noticed Chris was up, pouring himself some cereal at the tiled island. Matthew had stayed over at some woman’s house, though he wouldn’t tell them her name. Ella went to the corner of the living room and put a Joni Mitchell record on. Then, she hopped on a stool across from Chris.

“Where’s your boy toy?” Chris asked through a mouthful of cereal, his hair sticking up in all directions.

She snorted a laugh. “Getting coffee. He left me a note.”

“Adorable,” he deadpanned.

“Mm. Sickening, isn’t he?” Ella asked, mocking fondly.

Chris nodded, then tilted his head over in the direction of the record player. “Really? Joni Mitchell?”

“She’s a genius. Choose your next words carefully,” she warned.

“Isn’t she just a little...too sweet?” he asked.

Ella scoffed. “No one who likes disco as much as you do should be allowed to criticize a Renaissance woman like Joni Mitchell.”

“Disco is the best,” Chris said casually. “And Joni Mitchell is the worst.”

“Ugh, I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that,” Ella groaned, rolling her eyes dramatically. “I had this girlfriend last year who hated Joni Mitchell. It was, like, half the reason we broke up.”

Chris’s eyebrows shot up in an expression of surprise as a smile broke out on his face. “Girlfriend?”

She nodded. “You’re looking at your resident bisexual.”

“Yes! You’ve got to come to Pride with us in September! Jess and Matthew came last year, and they’re great, but, they’re also both so very straight,” he said, laughing slightly.

Biting the inside of her cheek, Ella allowed her own grin to appear. She’d never been to a pride parade before, though she had always wanted to. Eventually, Lane, Zach, and Bryan had figured out she was dating a woman for a couple months during her third year of college. And they’d taken it surprisingly well. Lane wasn’t completely sold on the idea, but Ella wasn’t shocked, given the strict Christian Kim upbringing. They didn’t kick her out, didn’t speak to her hatefully, only shrugged (with a few lingering, confused looks from Lane) and went about their day. And so they had been added to the list of four people in the whole world who knew about her sexuality, though she’d never actually told them her label. Jess was the only one who knew the details of who she was.

But Philly was different, she had to remind herself. Chris was openly gay, held hands with his boyfriend in public, even kissed him occasionally. There were some looks, but no remarks. No one made jokes at their expense. It was refreshing and liberating and, at times, almost made her feel like crying. And though she was dating a man, she was still just as bisexual. There was a part of her Stars Hollow would simply never have been able to swallow. Especially since Jess had been her boyfriend for so long, she knew some people in town wouldn’t have even believed it. They would have told her it was a phase, it would pass, or she would eventually be a lesbian. The only people in town she thought might be able to understand were Miss Patty or Lorelai, though she had never gotten the courage to tell them.

“Yeah, I’d love that,” she replied, trying to ignore the sting in her eyes. She blinked back the wetness, tucking her hair behind her ears.

Over the speakers, Joni Mitchell crooned a long, lilting high note, making Ella giggle as Chris uttered a grunt of dissatisfaction.

“She really broke you two up?” Chris asked, beginning to sip the sweetened, sugary milk from his bowl.

Ella shrugged. “Partially. Her name was Angie and she was this badass singer. But we just didn’t click. Music tastes were only a small part of the equation. She was a little too jealous and I was a little too hung up.”

“Hung up?”

“On Jess,” she said shortly, thinking back to the last morning she’d spent in Angie’s apartment. When Angie had accused Ella of having lingering eyes for the men at her concert the night before. And Ella hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the way Jess had never cared she liked both men and women. Had never bought into the stereotype of bisexual promiscuity.

Putting his bowl in the sink, Chris shot her a smirk. “And he’s the sickening one?”

“Whatever,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But, hey, not like Jess has great taste, either. He loves Hemingway and hates poetry.”

“I know,” Chris said, commiseratory, as he leaned against the counter back across from her. “When he bad mouths Tennyson? It’s the closest I’ve ever felt to homicidal.”

“I don’t know. Tennyson’s nothing compared to Byron,” Ella argued, shrugging slightly.

Chris gasped. “Not you too! And here I thought we were beginning a beautiful friendship!”

Just then, Jess returned with a bag of coffee in one hand and his keys in the other. He always locked the door out of instinct, even when someone else was home. It was a habit Ella had noticed, but didn’t know the origin of.

“Your girlfriend’s a traitor,” Chris said, feigning shock.

“Old news.” Jess went behind Chris to the coffee machine, his eyes tired without a dose of caffeine. Though he was nowhere near Gilmore level, Ella had noticed how dependent on coffee he had become since his teenage years.

Chris shot Ella a final, joking glare, which she returned, before retreating back into his and Matthew’s room to get dressed.

When the coffee was started, Jess put some tea on for her without having to ask. “I can’t believe you’re awake. Thought you’d still be out when I got back.”

“Not everyone likes to get up at sunrise, jackass,” she retorted with a smile.

“I’m not judging you, Morticia. I know how the sunlight drains your vitality,” he said, smirking.

“My God, you’re still so hilarious.”

“It’s been said.”

As Jess finished what he was doing, he walked toward her, elbows on the counter. He leaned over and pressed a long, sweet kiss to her lips.

“Hi,” he said softly.

“Hey,” she replied, a dreamy, sleepy glaze in her hazel eyes.

Waiting for the coffee and tea to brew, he took one of her hands in his own across the island. For a moment, they were both seventeen and holding hands as she took her break at the diner. Luke often chided Jess for getting distracted by her while he was supposed to be working, their fingers tangled together over the counter while they had murmured conversations, customers around them long forgotten.

“Thanks for the note, by the way,” she said. “Very 2003 of you.”

“Well, I didn’t wanna wake you up and I figured you might miss me too much if I didn’t leave one,” Jess said, shrugging.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Mariano,” she teased, rolling her eyes at his smug expression.

“I would never,” he replied. Then, she saw his face grow more earnest. “So, I got a call from Jimmy while I was out.”

“Really?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

He nodded. “Yeah, I started talking with him again about six months ago. Not like we’re close or anything. But he called to tell me he was marrying his girlfriend, and then he started checking in every month or so.”

“And you’re okay with that?” she asked. Images of a crestfallen Jess, shivering in the backseat of his car, flashed in her mind.

Again, he shrugged. “He apologized for kicking me out. Which is more than my mom ever did. I mean...he’s still a deadbeat. I’m not ever gonna call him ‘daddy.’ But he lives in Venice.”

“Yeah. And?” she asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

“And he said we could come visit any time we want. You’ve still got two weeks before you go back to school, we just finished this month’s Zine yesterday, and Chris and Matthew can manage without me for a few days. What do you think?” he asked, a familiar hesitation lacing his voice.

She took a moment to consider it, her eyes calculating. The look on her face almost made Jess want to smirk out of pure nostalgia; he could practically see the gears turning in her head. “California?”

“Yes. The subject of a thousand Beach Boys songs.”

“Thought you said I’d hate it there?”

“Well, when we get there you can decide for yourself.”

She snickered half-heartedly. “But does he mean you can visit? Or we can visit? I mean...I don’t want to go if he doesn’t expect me.”

“He knows about you. And I can guarantee his wife will like you a hell of a lot more than she likes me.” Averting his gaze sheepishly, Jess ran a thumb over the back of her hand.

Again, she took a long pause before she spoke, tugging at her earring with a free hand. “Well, we obviously can’t afford to fly. And your car is out. So, we’d take my station wagon?”

“My car is not that bad,” Jess scoffed. “It’s driven me across the country a couple times.”

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,” she said, “that car is death on wheels. When would we leave?”

“I don’t know. After breakfast,” he suggested, nonchalant.

A surprised, breathy chuckle escaped her lips.

Smirking small and hopefully, Jess continued. “We’d be there by Tuesday. There’s bound to be a few cheap motels we can stop at on the way.”

No matter how well Ella knew Jess, there would always be a part of him capable of catching her completely off guard. The part of him which was wild and impulsive, while she often trapped herself in monotony. But, as she searched her mind for reasons not to go, she came up empty. Once she started school, there wouldn’t be any time. And though she was still feeling a little overwhelmed, away from Stars Hollow for the first time ever, she grasped on to the jewel of excitement shining within her. She had never really been anywhere. And it was finally time to go somewhere. She smiled widely.

“Okay, Mariano,” she said. “I’ll finally get to see what Joni Mitchell’s been singing about.”

.   .   .

The sky was a pale gray, blurred with a drizzly morning rain. By afternoon, they would be on the West Coast, after having driven for two days. Their backs were slightly sore from the lumpy motel mattresses and their stomachs uneasy from greasy diner food along the way. But Ella smiled softly as they sat in sleepy silence, a Led Zeppelin CD Lane had given her before she left playing on the station wagon’s speakers. Her fingers tapped silently on the steering wheel with the beat, the cracked pavement highway before them free of almost all cars. Only about six more hours to go. She didn’t know what to expect, and the nerves were brewing within her. Jess had told her some about his father and his family, but not enough to make her calm down. Enough to make her calm down probably didn’t exist.

She let her thoughts wander, the anxiety in the back of her mind quieted momentarily. The fingers of her right hand were laced with Jess’s, her free left hand steering.

“Y’know, I can see why you and Matthew are friends,” she thought aloud, breaking the comfortable silence.

“How do you mean?”

Ella shrugged slightly. “I don’t know. You’re both into Bukowski and obscure quotes on t-shirts. You’re both shy. Though Matthew doesn’t have the whole broody writer thing going on like you.”

“I’m not shy,” Jess said defensively, brows furrowed.

She scoffed, tossing a doubtful glance his way. “Of course you are, Jess. You’re blushing right now.”

Sighing in frustration, Jess waved a dismissive hand. He could feel the heat of his face increasing. “That’s because you’re you. Not just anybody can make me blush.”

“Well, you also barely talk to anyone else besides me,” she continued.

“Maybe there’s just no one else worth talking to.” A crease of annoyance formed between his brows, almost a pouty look on his face.

“Whatever, tough guy.”

Jess breathed out through his nose, unable to get the flush to leave his face.

“Hey, being shy is not a bad thing, Mariano,” she said emphatically. “It’s just the way you are. It’s cute.”

Jess ran a hand over his mouth. “I am not cute.”

“Sure you aren’t,” she replied, her voice a sigh as she feigned innocence.

“At least I’m not a Stevie Nicks groupie,” he said dejectedly.

Ella only laughed again as they made their way West.

.   .   .

As soon as they reached the shore, Ella took Jess’s hand and squeezed tightly. He smirked over at her, squinting in the harsh August sunshine. The sky was free from all clouds, deep blue against the lighter shade of the water. People dotted the sand, but they had a pretty substantial amount of space as they laid out their towels and Ella dropped her purse down. Saltwater stung her nose, and she shaded her eyes with the flat of her hand as she looked around. It was low tide, and she could see fishing poles stuck in the sand far  away in both directions, until the figures shrunk down to the size of ants and disappeared behind the horizon. Before she could succumb to her nerves, she stripped her flowy black dress off, left in nothing but the dark green bikini she’d bought for a trip to the lake with Lane a summer earlier. Raking her hands through her hair, wild in the sea wind, she wished she had paints with her. She’d brought her sketchbook and her charcoals of course, but an easel and a set of oils would be just too much to lug around. And, too expensive.

Jess could see how anxious she was, as she tugged absently at her earlobe. Standing across from her in only his black swim trunks, he took her hand again. “Hey, earth to Eleanor. You wanna go in?”

Biting the inside of her cheek, Ella shot him an indecisive look. “Or I could sit here and draw. Or we could read. Or do literally anything else but get swallowed up by the Pacific.”

He scoffed. “So dramatic. I’ll be right there. It’s low tide. C’mon. World bites you, you bite back.”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t think you’re interpreting that phrase correctly.”

“And I don’t think you’re as good at stalling as you think you are,” he shot back smugly, smirking. “C’mon.”

Though she let him lead her to the water, she still muttered begrudging hesitations. Her skin was crawling with anticipation, not only because she was about to feel the ocean for the first time in so long. They had yet to arrive at Jess’s father’s place. Both he and his wife were at work, his step-daughter at school. It made more sense for them to visit the beach first, then be at the house by dinner time. It wasn’t as though she was worried about them not liking her, or about being intimidated by them. The feeling was hard to pinpoint. Maybe it was because she was stepping into a part of Jess’s world she had never bore witness to. Almost the way it felt to go visit him in New York as a teenager. Then, however, there hadn’t been two days of driving to precede it, allowing time for her to stress.

The water was cool as they walked in, making goosebumps rise on her freckled skin. Small shards of shells crunched beneath their feet uncomfortably until they were in up to their knees. She could feel the current against her legs. Waves crashed into whitish foam and bubbles around them, spraying droplets of water on their faces. Her hand tightened on Jess’s the further out they walked. Soon, they were up to their waists in water, the ocean crashing. Jess could see the fear shining in Ella’s hazel eyes as the tide beat against them, though the waves were nowhere near jarring or difficult to stand through.

“Hey, Daria,” he said, disentangling their fingers and bringing a secure arm around her waist instead. “Relax. Once we get out past where the waves are crashing, it’ll be easy.”

“Remind me again why I agreed to this?”

She scanned the water ahead of them frantically, the point past which the waves were only forming and not crashing looking both near and impossibly far. Her muscles were rigid and she squeezed her eyes shut as they turned their backs against a particularly strong wave. Water rushed over her, wetting the ends of her hair. Jess’s solid form felt almost like a life raft as they turned again and finally made it to the calmer part of the water.

“Because this is an exercise in adventure and spontaneity,” Jess answered finally, voice raised slightly over the noise as he repeated the words she’d spoken in the car yesterday verbatim. If they were going to California, it would be a crime to waste the chance to swim in the Pacific, she’d said. Above them, seagulls squawked in the cloudless sky.

Ella had to admit, as scary as it was, dipping into the water felt an utterly refreshing break from the summer heat. Still, her hands shook with anxiety. “I’m plenty fucking adventurous.”

He chuckled. “And now this can be a reason why.”

She rolled her eyes, then glanced back to the shore, where their small pile of towels and other belongings looked small and insignificant. Sighing through her nose, she faced Jess again. “Doesn’t it seem like we’re really far out?”

“We’re not,” he said, shaking his head and gesturing to the other swimmers much closer to the flat horizon than they were. “It’s low tide, so it just seems far away, okay? Don’t worry.”

She raised a doubtful eyebrow.

They waded in the pristine blue water, deep enough for Ella to be unable to touch the seafloor. Jess could still stand if he tried, but it was a stretch. Instead, they floated over the constant waves, mounds of water which carried them up and deposited them back down over and over. At a particularly high peak, Ella, acting on instinct, wrapped her arms around Jess’s shoulders and hugged him tightly.

A grin formed on his face as his arms wound around her, his heart practically jelly in his chest. He could count on one hand the amount of times Ella had allowed him to see her so vulnerable. It made him feel wanted, needed, in a way so foreign to him he had to bite his bottom lip to keep an astonished laugh from escaping him. When they were down near the bottom again, he ran a comforting hand up and down over her back, under the water.

“Relax,” he repeated, more softly this time, close to her ear. “I’m right here.”

Sighing heavily, Ella nodded. “Okay. Okay. I’m relaxing.”

“I can see that.”

A petulant scowl crossed her face, but she released him from her strong grip. Their hands were still linked, but she began to gain her own bearings as the waves continued, slow and steady. Eventually, she was brave enough to submerge herself in the water, wetting her flushed face and frizzy hair. Jess’s own locks fell over his forehead boyishly, dripping on his cheeks. Ella smirked as she pushed it back and away from his face.

“Look at you,” Jess said proudly as she finally let go of his hands, gliding over a wave on her own. “You’re halfway to Blue Crush.”

She snorted a laugh at his odd reference. “I was actually thinking more like Splash. Always choose the mermaid over the surfer.”

“My mistake,” he said lightly. “Does that make me Tom Hanks?”

“In theory, but, in practice, you’re always James Dean.”

.   .   .

Beachy decorations adorned nearly every inch of the walls in Jimmy’s house. The kitschiness charmed Ella immediately, as did Jimmy’s wife, Sasha. She had bleached blonde hair, cropped close to the head, and deep blue eyes radiating generosity. Upon arriving, she gave Ella a big hug, enveloping her in the scent of cinnamon. And Ella had to keep from raising her eyebrows in surprise when she saw Jimmy. He looked almost exactly like Jess, though the hair and the eyes were lighter, and he was slightly taller. It made far more sense to her why Jess looked nearly nothing like his mother. Lastly, Ella came to meet Lily when Jess opened the living room cupboard to reveal her sitting with her knees to her chest, reading. Ella could tell by the way no one else batted an eye that the habit of cabinet reading was not a one-time thing. The girl, around twelve, short and bespectacled with straight, mousy brown hair, reminded Ella almost of Rory. Though Lily radiated a peculiarity which Rory never had. It was welcome. Ella appreciated Lily’s confidence in her odd behavior, much the way she encouraged April’s long, winded rants about science or math. Weird girls were everywhere, just as Ella thought they should be.

Heated and tired, Ella and Jess sat on one side of the ramshackle dining table, hands clasped underneath the surface, as they watched Sasha clear the dinner plates away and go to get the ice cream for dessert. Both Jess and Ella offered to do the dishes themselves, but Sasha would hear none of it. Instead, they sat with the other two of the house’s residents, in near-silence. The air was suddenly tense, Jimmy and Jess sharing a few charged looks between them. Without Sasha’s hospitable aura, there was nothing to keep them from facing each other for real. It was the first time they’d seen each other since Jess had been kicked out, and in-person was always so different from the phone.

“Lil, did you finish that science poster you had due tomorrow?” Jimmy asked, Sasha having gotten up from the table at the tail end of a conversation about Lily’s interests in school.

Her nose was already buried back in her thick fantasy novel. She had picked it up from the ground next to her as soon as her mother left the room. Nodding, she gave a small grunt of confirmation, but didn’t look up.

Jess’s grip tightened slightly on Ella’s hand, and she could see his shoulders grow taut. He held onto her just as she had him as they drifted along the waves earlier in the day.

Clearing her throat, Ella ran her free hand through her hair and put on the most convincing smile she could muster. “So, Jess told me you’ve got a pretty cool record collection?”

Jimmy nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been working on it for about twenty years.”

“Cool. I only have a couple dozen, but one day maybe I’ll have a whole shelf,” she said, grasping at straws to keep the conversation going.

Jess said nothing; small talk had never been his forté. Especially with the man who had come into his life again eighteen years after abandoning him. But he was trying his best to keep his bitterness at bay, just as he had when he had lived there before.

Chuckling under his breath, Jimmy leaned back in his chair. “That’s a nice thought, but it’ll cost a fortune if any of those records are worth a damn.”

“Yeah. Hopefully someday I’ll get there.”

“You sound just like me at your age. But I ended up with two hundred records and eighteen cents in my bank account. Math was never one of my strengths,” he replied, taking a sip of the white wine from the glass in front of him.

Jess scoffed. “Eleanor has a college degree and no kids to flake on. I think she’ll be just fine.”

Narrowing his eyes just a touch at his son, Jimmy maintained an air of easy-going composure. He had his shirt untucked and one leg crossed over the other lazily. Though she tried to stop it, the word ‘slacker’ definitely came to Ella’s mind when she saw him, partially due to Jess’s influence, she knew.

“And what about you? How’s Truncheon?” Jimmy asked.

Jess shrugged.

“The Zine for this month should be coming out tomorrow. It looks great. There’s a lot of abstract stuff,” Ella chimed in, lamely, when she saw Jess wasn’t going to respond further.

“Here’s hoping it’ll stay afloat,” Jimmy said.

There was nothing malicious about his tone, nothing manipulative. She could see almost nothing of her own father in him. But Jimmy was a different breed of faulty fatherhood. No hope. Very little encouragement. Sasha took the reins with most of the dinner conversation. And Jimmy mostly added stories of his days spent homeless or in crappy housing out in Hollywood when he’d been scheming to become a musician. He spoke about the pointlessness of his dream. Of dreams in general. Ella thought his life seemed perfectly fine, even if managing some stand on the boardwalk wasn’t what he’d envisioned. But he was almost making himself more washed-up. And he saw Jess the way everyone in Stars Hollow had. In fact, he seemed to see Jess as himself. Maybe Jess being successful in his dreams was what drove the stand-offishness. Even with the compulsory invitation to visit and the monthly phone calls. Given the interactions she had witnessed, Ella wouldn’t have been surprised if it had been Sasha who forced Jimmy to play parent to his son after so long.

“Here’s hoping,” Jess echoed, voice flat and face expressionless.

Mercifully, Sasha then twirled back into the room with bowls of vanilla ice cream and questions for Ella about grad school. Jess retreated back into brooding silence while Ella rubbed circles on the back of his hand with her thumb.

.   .   .

Taking a sharp intake of breath, Jess jerked awake. The air mattress on which they slept shifted and squeaked at his sudden movement. Ella, who Jess’s arm had been draped over, was jostled as well. He sighed quietly, reminding himself of where he was. Waiting a moment to change position, Jess thought Ella was still asleep. But, after a few more seconds, she stirred and her hazel eyes opened a crack. The open window in the spare room let in warm nighttime air, and the hum of cicadas was the only other sound in the house besides their breathing.

“Go back to sleep,” Jess whispered hastily.

Instead, she lifted her head to look at him. His eyes shone in the moonlight and she could feel his slightly winded breathing. Sympathy washing over her face, she sat up despite his murmured protests. She ran a hand through his disheveled hair affectionately, then moved the back of her hand to his cheek. His face was reddish even in the low glow of the room, and his skin was warm.

“You got a little sunburnt,” she said quietly, her voice groggy. Her touch was soft and gentle.

The small gesture of concern was enough to make Jess have to avert his gaze. His chest was tight with panic from a dream he didn’t even remember, and he didn’t trust his voice enough to speak again. Swallowing thickly, he stared out the window at the stars peeking through the wispy clouds, pale against the dark sky.

Breathing a long breath through her nose and clearing her throat, she began stroking his hair again. “Did you have one of those dreams?”

He only nodded. While Ella slept heavily, could fall asleep anywhere, Jess almost never made it through a night without waking up at least once. Sometimes for no reason at all, but many times due to nightmares. Often he dreamed in hazy flashes which jolted him back to consciousness with feelings of dread and anxiety. As a teen, the only solution had been blasting loud music to get to sleep, a remedy he still wasn’t sure the cause of. With Ella at his side, though, he needed his headphones less and less. Not every time, but sometimes, she would wake up upon feeling his movements. Would stay up talking until he was finally lulled back to at least a doze. He would never wake her if she didn’t on her own, and always told her not to worry, to get back to bed, but she never did. Not until he did too.

And it wasn’t as though she was surprised, or not used to it. The first time she’d found him breathless in the middle of the night, eyes embarrassed and full of fear, had been in high school. Only around the second or third time he’d slept over with her. The rest of the night was spent playing cards and discussing books. His cheeks had burned with shame the entire time, despite her constant reassurance. She didn’t mind at all. She still didn’t.

Ella followed his eyes out the window, where there was a view of the beach. The moon reflected against the water, and the shore was empty. “Hey. You wanna go for a walk?”

He furrowed his brows in silent questioning.

“There’s no one out there. And out there we won’t have the Children of the Corn staring at us,” she said, gesturing to the strange artwork hanging on the wall above the desk. There were four drawings, each of a Victorian child with large, gaping eyes and a lifeless face.

Jess snickered half-heartedly, considering it for a moment. Then, he nodded again. Ella let a small smile across her face, standing up and throwing her simple black dress on again, with the flannel Jess had been wearing earlier over it. Though he felt shaky, Jess rose and tugged on his jeans and a t-shirt. Barefoot on the creaky wood floor, Ella took Jess’s hand and led him outside. He flinched away from the many dogs sleeping in the front yard. She pulled him through the garden and past the front gate quickly.

The walk down to the sand was short and silent. Most of the time, after a nightmare, Jess didn’t want to talk. Ella hardly knew what he dreamed about. Instead, she would talk to him about her day, tell stories, list her favorite things, until his heart calmed and his eyes began to get heavy again. But, as they walked down to the beach, they both just took a moment to breathe in the surroundings. The houses painted ostentatious colors and the cheesy stands on the boardwalk. Palm trees rustled in the nighttime breeze, stronger as they got close to the ocean. Soon, the soft, cold sand was beneath their feet. Wordlessly, Jess took a seat on the beach a few feet up from the waves. Ella plopped down next to him, criss-cross applesauce with her hands resting behind her for support. She closed her eyes and listened to the ocean. The whoosh of the water and the air. The smell of the sea and the slight chill of the wind. She didn’t love going in, but she certainly could understand the Pacific’s unique beauty.

Taking in a deep breath, Jess stared down at his legs and tried to fight off the mixture of emotions churning in his stomach. He still felt ashamed every time he woke Ella up, though it was always accidental. And he couldn’t shake the sick uneasiness coursing through him. Whatever the dream had been, he was glad he couldn’t remember any specifics.

“You okay?” she asked, opening her eyes again and facing him. Her long hair fell over her shoulder, unkempt.

Looking out at the ocean, Jess smirked sharply. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Okay,” she replied, nodding in understanding.

The tenderness in her voice struck him, but he swallowed down the feeling. Another long silence passed between them, comfortable, before a thought occurred to Jess. His smirk was more genuine when he turned to her and undid the button on one of the breast pockets of the flannel she had thrown on. She tilted her head to him in askance, but her eyes lit up with realization as he pulled a small plastic bag and a lighter from the pocket. The shirt was baggy on her frame, and she hadn’t felt the weight of them with Jess in the forefront of her mind.

“Where did that come from?” she asked, chuckling through her words.

Jess shrugged, the lighter in one hand as he opened the bag, which held a small stash of marijuana and a pack of rolling papers. “I forgot this here when I went back to New York. And either I’m great at stashing things or daddy dearest is clueless, because it was still in the closet where I left it. I found it earlier when you were in the shower.”

Her eyebrows shot up, impressed. “It’s probably a little of both.”

“True,” he said, rolling a joint with deft fingers. “I’m the son of Liz Danes. And no one can hide drugs like that woman.”

Biting at her cheek, Ella took a long look at him. His profile was clear in the moonlight, strong and handsome. Stubble shadowed his cheeks and his hair, messy from sleep, fell into his eyes. There were moments, few and far between, when Jess let the pieces of his childhood slip out. Since meeting him, Ella had slowly begun to put the puzzle together. He almost never told her an outright story, or made a big deal of things which he should have. The drinking, the drugs, the boyfriends, the violence, the instability, financial and otherwise. His past wasn’t who he was, but it, in a way, made things click for her. Everyone had a story. Jess didn’t often share his, but it still affected him every day. Less and less now that he had a life of his own, but, on the rarest of occasions, Ella could see ghosts of the scared, lonely boy Jess had once been. A boy whose only defense had been sarcasm and only escape had been books. Her heart twisted in her chest as she watched him, but she said nothing. She only ran a hand up and down his back, and placed a kiss on his shoulder as he worked. He smiled a tiny smile, keeping his eyes on his hands.

Soon, he had lit the joint and passed it to her. The tip glowed orange in the moonlight as she inhaled deeply, the familiar smell filling up her chest. She exhaled the smoke in a long stream, handing it back to hin. Neither she nor Jess were big on pot, not even in high school. The last time she’d smoked pot was the first time Lane had. Hep Alien’s guitarist, Gil, owned a sandwich shop, and one of the shop guys grew pot in his basement. His stuff was pretty good, though Lane had gotten incredibly paranoid and sworn it off for good after the first few hits.

“So, was California Jess a stoner, surfer type?” Ella asked, words snaking out from between her lips in clouds of smoke. Her mind was already beginning to buzz and smudge around the edges. A warm, pleasant tingling enveloped her legs.

Jess chuckled. “No. He was a leather-clad loser who didn’t graduate high school and owned nothing but a duffel bag full of books.”

Her expression fell, growing somber. “You weren’t a loser, Jess. You’re not a loser.”

Scoffing, he passed the joint to her again. “Right...I just…”

Pausing, he sighed and rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. Ella could see him struggling for his words, in a mood she couldn’t quite decipher. Part of it was the high, but part of it was something else completely.

“Even Luke kicked me out. And you were going to college. I didn’t want to...I couldn’t stick around and keep you from anything,” he explained, head growing light with the influence of the drugs. “My mom didn’t want me, my uncle didn’t want me. No one wanted me there.”

Ella furrowed her brows and shook her head sadly, handing the joint his way again. “I wanted you.”

Breathing out shakily, he felt the joint begin to burn his fingers and stubbed it out against the cool sand. He drew his knees up to his chest and rested his elbows on them, hands clasped in front of him. Hiding his face with a bowed head, Jess tried to fight the tears which formed in his eyes. Coming back had brought memories he didn’t remember forgetting. Long nights filled with regret, unhappy days dealing with customers at the bookstore, uncomfortable family dinners where he could never really find his place despite how hard Sasha tried. The feeling of not belonging was so similar to the one he’d had in Stars Hollow. But, in Stars Hollow, New York was just a bus ride away, and Ella was just a walk down the road. Isolation took on a new meaning during his six months in California.

Ella was surprised to hear him sniffle and see his form begin to tremble. She whispered his name, but got no response. After a moment of hesitation, she brought her arm around him, her head next his own as it rested on his shoulder. Shivering with his small sobs, Jess looked up again and let silent tears fall down his cheeks, though his skin flamed with shame.

“And imagine my surprise when I got here and my dad was just as big a loser as me,” he said, breathing short, frustrated breaths. “But, he managed to get a new family anyway.”

Sighing heavily, Ella pressed another kiss to his shoulder. “Jess, you’re not like him-”

“Oh, I’m not?” he asked doubtfully.

“Absolutely not,” she said, a new firmness to her tone. “You wrote a book. You own a business. You were employee of the month at Walmart!”

He shook his head.

“No, Mariano, I’m serious,” Ella continued, insistent. “You think Jimmy would ever be able to get employee of the month anywhere? Just because you didn’t love school doesn’t mean you’re not a hard worker. Jess, you’re the most passionate person I know.”

“Very funny, Stevens.”

“Believe me or not, it’s true. It’s just a fact. Your dad is a fucking idiot. But you’re not him. You are intense and shy and funny and kind and so fucking smart, alright? You’re only 21 and you’ve already done more than he ever has. And I know it fucking sucks that he didn’t grow up in time for you, but that wasn’t because of you. In spite of all that, you still manage to be you,” she said, her voice soft but ardent. The words spilled out of her mouth in a fervent rush, her mind loose and clear and high. “He really fucking missed out. Because he doesn’t know you.”

Jess could feel her voice rumble in her chest against his arm as she leaned on him, holding him. And he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He didn’t know what to say. The emotions bubbling up from beneath the surface muted his words. He stared out at the waves again, and a reluctant smirk formed on his face after a moment, though his cheeks were still damp.

“Haven’t heard you go all motivational speaker in a while,” he said, voice watery but smug.

She let giggle escape her lips and straightened up slightly. Wiping away his tears with her thumb and kissing the top of his hair, she drew his head to her shoulder. “Yeah, well, desperate times.”

“Thank you, Eleanor,” he murmured, noticing how the sky had begun to lighten to a soft bluish gray.

“Don’t mention it,” she replied.

And they sat on the sand, sheltered in their embrace against the wind, into the early hours of the morning as the sun rose over the ocean.

#jess mariano #jess #mariano #jess mariano fanfiction #jess mariano au #jess mariano imagine #jess mariano imagines #gilmore girls #gilmore #gilmore girls fanfiction #gilmore girls au #gilmore girls imagines #gilmore girls imagine #jess mariano x oc #jess mariano x original character #original character stories #original character fanfiction #fanfiction

[polaroidcowboy]

Not the type of thing I usually post and I won't be saying anything else on the matter (for now at least)

I've been asked to weigh in on this Ray allegation matter, as both an victim of sexual assault, and an earper.

TW

First off I'm going to say that I haven't actually seen the allegations. I only know about via other posts and tweets I've seen regarding it, as well as Kats comment section on her insta, and now Rays statement.

I am in no way saying that the accuser(s) are wrong or right. Obviously I have no way of knowing what happened but I just want to say, if these accusations are true; then thank you. Thank you so much for speaking up and being brave enough to say something. It takes so much courage to do so.

If they aren't then, as a victim of sexual abuse myself, I'm disappointed, because it can be damaging, not only to the person accused, but to anyone who might have been or may be assaulted by the person in the future.

----------------------------------------------------------

I'm gonna tell yall some things about my assault and the aftermath.

When I came out as a lesbian back in highschool it didn't go down so well. A very religious school full of very religious people plus me, a newly out gay, wasn't a good combination.

One boy (my assaulter) trapped me in the disabled toilets during one of our afternoon periods and told me that he'd "fuck me straight". He then proceeded to rape me.

It took me a couple of months to tell anyone. When I did, I was called a liar. More specifically "a lying f*g".

There is already the issue of he said/she said in situations like this, but what had happened was that there had been two girls (his exes) that cried wolf.

Over that school year both girls had been with him, but both relationships had been ended by him. They decided to try and ruin him so they teamed up and both made rape allegations against him. These were found to be false. (There was evidence and detailed confessions from both girls regarding the falsehood of their original statements).

But now, a couple of months after my assault, everyone immediately assumed that I was lying about it too. I wasn't. I still, 5 years later, have so many issues because of it. But no one believed me. It was he said/she said and because those girls before me lied, no one would listen to what I was saying. Not teachers, not peers, not police.

He's walking around years later, free as a bird.

All because someone cried wolf.

----------------------------------------------------------

My first instinct with these allegations towards Ray is to believe them, as it is in any situation like this. But I've also been a part of this fandom since 2017. As Earpers we often pride ourselves on being one of the best fandoms out there, but there's been plenty of toxic shit here too. I've seen how people have hated/ treated the man, purely because he's with Kat. I really don't want this to turn out to be someone who's trying to start shit just to start shit.

I can't say I like Ray. I'm not really familiar with his work or his personal life outside of Kat's posts etc. But if he makes Kat happy, then who the hell am I to say anything about their relationship. If these allegations were made purely as an attempt to, idk, break them up or make him seem like a bad person?

Please for the love of god, think of how it might affect an actual victim if something really does happen.

#wynonna earp #earpers #kat barrell #ray galletti

[thefoodwiththedood]

Kuso, Oni, and Juvrohk

Reblog and Tag with your ocs’ Names

EYYY NICE!!! I’m gonna put these under the cut cuz WOW it’s gonna get long :D

Full Name: Kuso N’vos

Gender and Sexuality: Female; Lesbian

Pronouns: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species: Devaronian

Birthplace and Birthdate: Assarda, 20 BBY

Guilty Pleasures: LoFi Hip-Hop, anime movies, her surprisingly well-curated library of her favorite fanfics, etc.

Phobias: water, the ocean, etc.

What They Would Be Famous For: Her fics on Ao3 get a lot of hits, I guess.

What They Would Get Arrested For: Defecting from the Devaronian army, and maybe pirating music from time to time.

OC You Ship Them With: She for sure has a secret crush on Hes, but as far as actual relationships? Who knows.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Besides Imperials? Idk

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Raunchy slash fiction

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Slow-burn fics

Talents and/or Powers: She’s a talented sniper and strategist, but besides combat, she really does have a talent for writing—one she keeps mostly hidden, granted, but a talent nonetheless.

Why Someone Might Love Them: I think her design came out neat, and moreover the idea of her just seems fun! Learning a highly-trained soldier has a secret love for sappy fan works is just,,,very sweet and very pure, I think.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She is a member of the Devaronian Army, after all, so I guess if you have a vendetta against them (say, after the Montellian Serat massacre), I could see disliking her.

How They Change: She learns to take more pride in herself, and to trust her instincts more than the words of others/the status quo. Through fiction, she gains the courage to change her reality, and as time goes on her works grow more profound and more relevant to life.

Why You Love Them: I honestly didn’t have much in mind for a personality when I drew her, but now that I’ve written all this out I’m kinda in love with her? Like,,,wow, what a sweety.

Full Name: Luhton’iko’vidtekt (core name: Onikov)

Gender and Sexuality: Male; Bisexual

Pronouns: He/Him or occasionally They/Them

Ethnicity/Species: Devaronian/Chiss Hybrid

Birthplace and Birthdate: The Unknown Regions (near Csilla), 19 BBY

Guilty Pleasures: Dying his hair fun colors, weird foreign candies, taking selfies, etc.

Phobias: He’s totally fearless (jk, he’s scared of learning where he comes from, at least on the Chiss side)

What They Would Be Famous For: Being one of the galaxy’s most daring, spectacular, and prolific daredevil—or so he claims.

What They Would Get Arrested For: destruction of property, illegal swoop racing (both betting on them and participating in them), theft of three TIE fighters on two different occasions, etc.

OC You Ship Them With: No one currently, but ey, who knows what might happen with that.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Probably Vonnie, she doesn’t have someone like Malak to deal with the crazier members of her squadron, so she has to deal with all Oni’s craziness herself.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Crazy action movies (Mission Impossible is a favorite of his)

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Romances shoe-horned into the plot for no reason

Talents and/or Powers: Besides being an excellent pilot and driver, he’s one of those people who’s just kind of indestructible. Like, he’s crashed more ships than he’s landed, he’s hit his head more times than is probably healthy, but somehow, he’s walked away from it all without so much as a scratch. You might say he has a death wish, but really, many question if it’s even possible to kill him.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He’s batshit crazy, but I think he’s batshit crazy in a fun way!

Why Someone Might Hate Them: I’m not too well-versed in how the Chiss work as a species, so I could see hating him if I somehow butchered them—let me know if I did, by the way!

How They Change: He kinda learns over time to take life slower, and really enjoy the fact that, on Devaron, he has a home and a family. That’s something he’d never really had before, and it takes him a while to get used to it, but he’s super happy when he does.

Why You Love Them: He’s cool lookin’, idk

Full Name: Juvrohk Dhandte

Gender and Sexuality: Male; Pansexual

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: Devaronian

Birthplace and Birthdate: Tikaroo, 22 BBY

Guilty Pleasures: singing, playing piano, playing D&D, all his unorthodox fetishes, etc.

Phobias: claustrophobia

What They Would Be Famous For: Leading the Tikaroo miners’ revolt of 4 BBY, completing the 10-Pound Bantha Biscuit challenge at the Tikaroo biscuit baron, moonliting as a smooth jazz singer, etc.

What They Would Get Arrested For: high treason, tax evasion, theft, destruction of Imperial property, inciting rebellion, etc.

OC You Ship Them With: Hes (they were fuckbuddies for a long time, but they kinda quit that when Hes had Kasson)

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Besides the Empire, definitely Hes—at least for a split second, when she realized it was him who got her pregnant.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Disney musicals

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: When the princess falls in love the instant they meet the movie’s prince (he wasn’t a big fan of Frozen)

Talents and/or Powers: He’s an excellent hand-to-hand fighter, a demolitions expert, a confident leader and diplomat, and even a great singer/musician.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Sure, he’s a big tough guy, but he’s a real sweetie at heart, y’know? He just wants to sing his little heart out, but nooo, he’s gotta fight in a revolution.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: He did kinda give up all responsibility of raising Kasson to Hes, which might be weird to some people, but they both agreed it was for the best.

How They Change: During the war, Juvrohk learns to take pride in who he is and what he’s talented at, and to love himself for who he is. He learns not to judge his worth on how helpful or useful he is to others, which I’d like to elaborate on later as I develop him further.

Why You Love Them:He spawned from the sheer need to design Kasson’s biological father, but he spiraled into one of my favorite Angel designs, and honestly? That’s super fun.

[w1tchy13itch-blog]

idk your scholars but 30 through 40 for them (all of them if you have more than one) thank you!

Hoo baby baby I have five little squirts and I am ALIIIIIVE because I love this specific selection of questions!!

I’m on mobile so there isn’t any formatting or gifs this time, but I will edit it on my PC later what it isn’t dead XD.

For the sake of brevity I’m only gonna include a scholar if the question applies to them well.

✨✨✨✨✨

30. Is your scholar self-conscious about anything? If so, what is that thing?

❤️ Lillie: YES. Lillie always feels like she is annoying people. Because she is so hyper and talkative she gets told to shut up or to slow down a lot, usually in polite ways, but as a consequence of her lower self esteem it takes the wind out of her sails pretty fast.

❤️ Darcy: He feels like he is expected to be a clone of his sister and has a huge inferiority complex. It doesn’t help that he’s also trans which means being compared to his sister not only strips him of individuality, but also triggers dysphoria.

❤️ Abby: She’s self conscious about what the media says about her. When in public she clings to her security guard and wears identity concealing clothes like how Michael Jackson used to put paper bags on his kids heads to hide them from the media.

31. Does your scholar get along with their parents or guardians?

❤️ Lillie: Heck yes. Her parents helped her get out on puberty blockers at 10 and managed to assist her in changing her legal name and gender by 16 even though her grandparents disapproved.

❤️ Vivi&Darcy: Yes. They have three parents, two mothers and a father, in a polygamous relationship. This made it easier to raise twins for the parents and so there was less drama during their formative years.

❤️ Flora:Of all my scholars, Flora has the best parental relationship. Her biological mother and her stepmother both are open minded. They made sure Flora was humble and aware of her privileges and also the power she has to help others.

When Flora messes up or makes a mistake, they don’t berate her endlessly but they sit her down and get her to reflect on what she’s done and how to avoid it again later.

❤️ Abby: She was taken by CPS from her birth parents at age 8 so that goes without saying how she gets along with THOSE parents. Her adoptive parents took her in because when they went to the adoption centre in search of a baby they fell in love with 12 year old her instead.

They are constantly doing what they can to help her heal from her trauma, and have studied up about her culture to make sure she never loses touch with it despite now living in a whole new world. They are very proud of her artistic achievements and are the first ones to buy her albums.

32. What is their sexuality?

❤️ Lillie: straight asexual

❤️ Vivian: bisexual polyamorous

❤️ Darcy: bisexual

❤️ Flora: lesbian

❤️ Abigail: lesbian

33. What is their gender?

❤️ Lillie: transgender female

❤️ Vivi: cis female

❤️ Darcy: transgender male

❤️ Flora&Abby: cis females

34. What is their favorite part about their crush’s body?

❤️ Lillie: She loves his (Tadashi’s) nose and lips. If/when they get together, Lillie will trace them with her fingertips and kiss them gently.

❤️ Vivi: she loves Claire’s hair and Alistair’s chest.

❤️ Darcy: Axel has a lot of tattoos and you bet Darcy can’t get them out of his mind.

❤️ Flora loves Abigail’s tummy and boobs. Abigail loves flora’s hands.

35. What is their favorite part about their crush’s personality?

❤️ Lillie: She loves how serious Tadashi is taken. She strives to someday be acknowledged like he is. His work ethic and cunningness makes her feel inspired.

❤️ Vivian: she is purely smitten with Alistair based on his charm. He’s a warm and inviting person. She likes Claire’s dedication to her department and silent disposition.

❤️ Darcy: he’s a sucker for the cocky flirty type. Axel is basically equal halves of both of those.

❤️ Flora loves Abigail’s artistic expression and her deep soul. Abigail loves Floras confidence and motherly instincts.

36. Is your scholar selfish at all?

❤️ Vivian is very full of herself but doesn’t let that get in the way of helping others. She’s just a little narcissistic.

❤️ Darcy is definitely a little selfish, but most of it comes from an inferiority complex he developed over his sister.

❤️ Abigail is selfish for trust/trauma reasons. She’s a little too dependent on Flora at times.

37. Does your scholar have any silly secrets?

❤️ Darcy’s giant mega crush on Axel is his silly secret.

❤️ Flora’s favourite music is rap/hip hop, and she can sing/rap really well but doesn’t cos it looks weird for a skinny white chick to break out into 2Pac all of a sudden.

❤️ Abigail thinks Shrek is the best kids movie ever, knows the whole movie by script and owns the soundtrack.

38. Does your scholar have any big secrets?

Only one scholar has a big, deep secret, and ironically it’s the happiest scholar I have;

When Flora was 14 and overseas with her parents, she had a one night stand for the hell of it with a boy, and later in another country found out she was pregnant. She was so afraid to tell her parents that by the time they found out, she was showing, and was not willing to abort it because of how long she’d had it inside her. She gave birth to a son who is now being raised as her brother by her mothers who were very shocked but also willing to help her through it.

39. What is their favourite article of clothing?

❤️ Lillie: Shirts, preferably cute femme ones, but with a goth color scheme.

❤️ Vivian: Sundresses

❤️ Darcy: oversized jackets

❤️ Flora: button up shirts

❤️ Abigail: shoes and accessories.

40. What is their least favourite article of clothing?

❤️ Lillie: school uniform

❤️ Vivian: sneakers and gym socks

❤️ Darcy: anything feminine

❤️ Flora: sweatpants

❤️ Abigail: anything leather (sweaty!!!!!)

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I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT I WARNED YOU

And THANKS FOR THE ASK AAAHHH!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#se scholar #sweet elite #sweet elite oc

[axel-mania]

‪Diary, journal, Carnegie and O’Connor. ‬

thank you for asking! i hope these are good answers lol 

diary: how many pieces have you written that are just for you or will never see the light of day?

its hard to put an exact number on this. maybe 5 or 6? i have several aleister black/velveteen dream fics that ill probably never publish, because i no longer feel good writing about them. one of them is a novel where i went in deep creating a magic system around aleisters gimmick, but i recently learned one big aspect of it has negative real life usage, so thats a no-go.

then theres a couple half-finished things id have to look for.. one of them i remember is a prompt fill about becky lynch and la luchadora from back in 2016, lol. maybe i should excavate that, if i can figure out a good person to have behind the mask.

journal: do you ever write just so you can enjoy something to read?

with fic, not really, honestly. i dont enjoy reading my own writing usually, i just end up seeing mistakes and getting frustrated. but on the other hand, when i write poetry its pretty much only for that reason-- so i can capture a feeling im having and relive it again every time i read the poem about it.

carnegie: what authors and/or books/stories have inspired you to write or influenced your work?

some fic authors: scioscribe, tristesses, buckleupbaby, lamentomori, imadeamistake, roachpatrol, moonsault, sapphoisburning, etc. all make/made me want to write more. i love yall so much

some stories: if were talking early fandoms that got me writing when i was a preteen, uh.. well, warrior cats, yugioh, and harry potter, lol. now of days, the revolutionary girl utena anime, the handmaiden, jennifers body, random alfred hitchcock stuff i see on tv, horror short stories... also, the mother (earthbound) series and 17776 are both inspiring to me. im very basic and have a bad memory rip

wrestling-wise: the atmosphere of old nxt, fcw, and the roh from when i was a kid evoke a lot from me. bayley and sasha, oh man. the sheer scale of the golden lovers story makes me want to see things that deep for women, which, luckily isnt too far off given the incredible character work of the wrestlers at world wonder ring stadom, who have given me so many ideas despite me only watching for a short time.

o’connor: what tropes/genres do you dislike writing?

i dont like writing pure fluff or porn, because i struggle to make anything without a plot. i also dont enjoy doing anything out of kayfabe or too detached from canon, whether that means an au that radically changes the characters or a fic that is in the same universe but barely impacted by canon storylines.

then on a slighter more negative note-- anything ao3 requires a warning for. men having sex, and het unless the pairing is really really good, because im a lesbian who just isnt up for that. i generally dont like infidelity, and im wary of big power imbalances. obviously anything reactionary like g!p im going to avoid. and tbh, i instinctively avoid writing too much that is only about white people, fandom is so painfully centered around that.

on a lighter note, not super into coffeeshop aus idk lol. or first-person, or epistolary fic, or historical fiction set in aristocratic europe.

[isaacathom]

alternatively koshi is a hufflepuff alongside Rien, which probably bothers her for quite a while. not being with rien specifically, though she’s not a huge fan. but being a hufflepuff. it doesn’t make sense!! why isn’t she a gryffindor? or a slytherin, as her classmates shyly suggest. shyly, because with the bad reputation of the house preceding it, koshi takes great offence to the suggestion of being a slytherin.

also when i said mudblood, i meant muggle born. i forgot what the fuck shit was called. so rien and saval are supposedly both muggleborn. rien is actually ‘just’ a half blood, though this isn’t known until someone points out an uncanny resemblance to some wizard guy somewhere. maybe even at some event, idk for shit.

yengchu and koshi definitely play quidditch. yengchu becomes captain of the gryffindor team in her later years. koshi is one of the most ruthless players for the hufflepuff team and at least one of its victories throughout her time on the team can be directly attributed to her not being afraid to get down and dirty. whether they ever win the quidditch cup off of that is.. unclear (ill be real, i did research, and Man hufflepuff never even got the final once in those 8 years? jesus). she’d give it a solid go, though.

i dont know if saval or rien would want in. tamjol DEFINITELY doesnt. he doesn’t want in at all. he supports his friends though! sitting in the wrong bleacher with bright scarfs yelling and cheering. lovely boy. assuming they arent playing, rien is doing the same. saval would be a lot more subtle about it but she is at Every Single game without fail.

uhhhhhh what else.... hmmmmmmm. i dont know enough about shit to say anything else, i dont think. if amali is a hufflepuff, dalen is.... probably a slytherin, actually. or a gryffindor. tamjol’s father, aka Dick Assholeson, is definitely a person who exists in the broader world. probably as just like.... a huge asshole. huge pure blood asshole. definitely a slytherin. whether all his kids w/ his first wife as also slytherins is unclear, but its probably the case. most of them are ok, tho. tamjol is definitely known to be a half blood but his father keeps it EXTREMELY secret as to the fact he’s remotely connected to the family. So when people see Tamjol present with the whole Shonyul family on 1 3/4, for starters Hintero isn’t even there, its Elion and like. a butler or smth. And when someone asks hey, who’s the kid, Elion says it’s the kids of a ‘friend of hers’ who wasn’t able to come himself. Tamjol shrugs and gets on the train. He doesn’t sit with the Shonyul’s after they get on, anyway. being a ravenclaw is not the worst house he couldve gotten into given his family situation, but it’s not slytherin, so it’s a bit :| I don’t think Elion was a slytherin, though as a pureblood she may well have been.

rien’s dad is... around? not sure what he’s doing. he’s probably not a teacher or a quidditch star, though. he’s prooobably a slytherin, given his being a noble in CSFY, but he could be a ravenclaw, idk for shit. ill shade slytherin for him. clearly not a, uh, blood purist, considering who the kids mum is. he probably has other kids in later year levels at hogwarts, though, who are probably pure blooded? statistically, right. either slyths or ravenclaws. they dont share thaaaatt much of a resemblance to rien initially, but there is a lil something uncanny. like sometimes you’ll catch them in the same bleachers for a quidditch match and they’ll turn to react to something you haven’t seen and you’ll get a look at their faces all at once and go Wow.... Rien sure does look like they fit. This isn’t the case for Tamjol since he takes after his dad (who was probably a half blood or muggleborn)

actually Elion and Brasteon were probably in the same house, which would therefore not be slytherin. so we’ll chuck em both in ravenclaw.

and actually now i think about it.... larusion wouldn’t be a pureblood. not just because we got Too Fucking Many of these bastards, but because their grandmother (Lani Koshidan) was, in CSFY, a regular person given a title. ergo, she was probably a muggleborn. So when lani’s daughter marries Dravulean, their child is not a pureblood. They are still heavily associated with that pureblood heritage though.

uhh yengchu is probably a half giant? purely because i cant think/find a half- creature which fits the csfy elves properly. its either half giant or part veela. veela would be funny for the fact that yengchu is a lesbian and her charms work on everyone except the people she would actually want to do out with. for comedy alone, we’ll say she’s part veela.

as far as ‘counterpart to possession’ goes, im not honestly sure how to handle the fact that Koshi sort of has that lurking around. my gut instinct is that she’s a werewolf, and that this is something acquired during her time at hogwarts rather than while she was young (ala lupin). that would almost certainly get her expelled though, like just flat out given the boot. plus like, How would that even happen? what was happening in there. was this at school? if it was at hogwarts itself, then she has a chance of being allowed to stay as a sort of... repayment for allowing it to happen to her by failing to keep her safe from it. which is pretty much the only way she’d be let back in. but then you gotta ask how the fuck an asshole werewolf managed to get onto school grounds during the full moon and how koshi ended up getting infected as a result. and also only koshi. like. What happened there. what the fuck. wh. unless there’s been a chain of werewolf infection going along, like someone got bit outside of school year and then at the start of the new year, full moon, goes nuts, Koshi is taking a quick walk to clear her head because she’s a feisty mother fucker, and bam. victim number 3. id baaaasically buy that. the other kids getting fucking expelled but due to Koshi being a sympathetic victim, she’s allowed to stay. right? none of her friends are animagi tho, so she’s sort of fresh out on that front. not unless tamjol decided to do so for his own reasons, to soooort of parallel to the ghost thing? im not against the idea i just dont know why he’d do it. like that’s not really his thing. his thing is divination and stuff. nothing to really do with transfig.

it really is the best parallel though, since it doesnt basically the exact same thing her pact does, just with more physical changing and less clarity. plus god can you fucking imagine if a student gets infected with lycanthropy AT school? fuck. that shit’d be wild. theres no way they’d get away with that. theres no way that noone else finds out that Koshi is a werewolf. like, yea, teachers WOULD be the first people to respond to hearing absolutely fucking bloodcurdling screams from a courtyard, but the idea that absolutely no other student would end up seeing anything? that no other Smart Kid will notice that they brought silver to the sick room? that noone has seen the attacker and that coincidentally one of their classmates isn’t around? that none of that classmates friends were aware at all about it? fuuuck no. someone knows. someone will spill the beans. itd only be able to stay quiet for so long. someone will find out about it. if they dont, rumours will still spread. Koshi’s a werewolf, fuckers would jeer.

theres no way. its too big a thing in universe that i dont really think it works. cause if she’s bitten outside of school then there’s reaaaalllly not a way for her to get back in, i dont think. like i dont think they’d want her back at school. and while in csfy koshi did drop out of school, this isnt... really the same thing at alllllll? so idk. having her be an animagus was almost fit, but not really? its rough. something definitely happens during her later years, though.

who else... Teyavion! yeaaa she exists. slytherin for her, pureblooded as fuck my dudes. if any slytherin was associated with death eaters, itd be Teyavion. defo not a quiddith player. her unnamed (?) boyfriend is likely also a slytherin. anyone else? PAIYATL! MY MAN! he’s a teacher. probably not DADA, but he’s somewhere. he is definitely teaching at school. he wouldve been a gryffindor. Payima, his eldest, is... a ravenclaw, i think! and then idk about the other two... possibly gryffindors? yea. ooh, ooh, larnani! uh....... hmmmm. gryffindor, probably! :D

so uhh tl;dr Rien is a half-blood Hufflepuff who thinks they’re a muggleborn, Tamjol is a half-blood Ravenclaw whose ‘father’ is likely a prominent magical figure of Some kind (auror, maybe?), Yengchu is a part-Veela Gryffindor who is the captain of the Quidditch team later in school (probs chaser?), Koshi is a half-blood Hufflepuff, possible werewolf, and likely beater in the hufflepuff quiddith team, and Saval is a muggleborn Slytherin. Amali is a Hufflepuff and Dalen is a Slytherin (of unknown blood status, amali possibly being pure or at least of a well respected half house), Larusion is a half blood Ravenclaw with their dad being like, a minister or Something. probably not the minister, but he’s up there. he is definitely involved.

#story blogging #harry potter stuff #this is a mess dont worry about it #like half this post is me rambling about whether koshi should be a werewolf or not lmao and i still dont know! #its a very god fit for what happened to her in csfy (with some uh Key differences) but itd basically end her schooling you feel me #i know that they got nicer to werewolves after the wizarding war but hhh youve got a student with a history of being aggressive #who now transforms into a wolf on the full moon. part of you is just :| at the idea of having her on school grounds #youd basically have to find a young animagus who is her friend and we're fresh out. not that she doesnt have friends its just #none of them are animagus. yet? h tamjol might be at some point idk yall