#im havin a breakdown

[nohasslecastle]

As much as I love spreading the "Sister Beatrice top agenda", I do not think Beatrice would behave anywhere near confident on her first time with Ava.

First of all, it's my headcanon that before Beatrice became a nun she didn't actually get to live or experience a lot, so everything she could have learned in her teenage years, she actually didn't, because her parents were too strict, and she was just too afraid to stand up against them.

Her parents sent her to that boarding school probably because at some point she admitted she had romantic feelings for one of her friends, but that was it, Beatrice is oblivious to love, and relationships, and, of course, to sex.

Add that to the fact that Beatrice is a perfectionist, with a great fear of failure, a control freak that gets overwhelmed when she feels she can't handle the results of any given situation she's involved with... Beatrice doesn't quite know how she should behave around Ava, and the not knowing... that terrifies her.

It's not that she's worried Ava would make fun of her, of course, she would never. But there's just something inherently annoying about not being able to BE good at something, specially when the only way to learn 'that something' is... actually doing it. But, will she be able to be good enough for her? Will she be able to be what she thinks Ava deserves?

When Ava comes back, Beatrice doesn't immediately kiss her, she doesn't jump into a relationship with Ava and certainly she doesn't jump straight to bed with her, simply because she has absolutely no idea how to do it without making it weird. So, of course, their comeback kiss is started by Ava, their "what are we?" conversation is started by Ava, and their first time... guess what? Also started by Ava.

I picture this: after the re-encounter they didn't have much time to talk about what had happened between them, they were once again in survival mode and it's only one day after a big fight that they finally and unintentionally find themselves alone. Everything that happened is weightening on Beatrice and she's pretty much gay panicking every time Ava gets too close to her.

It's not that she doesn't want her, on the contrary she wants her so much she's overwhelmed by a feeling she had never felt before, or at least, not in a very long time and certainly not with enough maturity to understand it. When they last kissed it was a life or death situation, now they are just staring into each other's eyes, something clearly in the air, but everytime she tries to say anything, something holds her back.

Ava tries to give her space. Ava is everything that Beatrice is not. She's reckless, and a risk taker, and if she fails so what? she tries again. However, Ava is aware she closed a line last time... not only on Beatrice's vows but on a restriction she had put on herself. Ava is trying to make things right and Beatrice knows it but at the same time she's begging, begging, Ava to push her, because that's how they work right?

At some point the silence becomes too unbearable and Beatrice is frustrated. She hates that she can't be as resolved as she is in most of her activities and Ava is... kind of having fun at it, looking at the perfect sister Beatrice losing her shit it's fun, it's so unlike her it's amusing.

Ava is laughing and that only makes Beatrice's frustration grow. At some point Beatrice apologizes to Ava "I'm sorry, I really don't know what I'm doing and I hate it" and that's Ava's cue to do what she always does... push her a bit, give her courage. Ava walks slowy towards her "I don't need you to be an expert at this, Bea" she takes Beatrice's hands into hers "remember what I told you before I left? You don't need to be so perfect all the time." She lifts her hand to Bea's cheek and Bea gulps. She watches Bea lean into her touch, close her eyes, she brings her other hand to her chest and she can feel how fast her heart is beating "I only need you to be yourself." She says. And Bea opens her eyes and looks at her.

Ava leans close to her, slowly, giving her time to adjust to the intrusion and when she's a breath from her lips she whispers "can I kiss you again?", looking at her eyes again waiting for an answer. Beatrice would simply nod because, let's be honest, that woman is incapable to form a simple thought when Ava is *that* close to her.

And when they kiss... it's shy, and it's tame, and honestly, Beatrice doesn't know what to do with her hands. Ava would guide them, maybe to her hips "you can touch me" she would state. Ava would open her mouth, begging for *more*, she would let Bea's hair down, touch her shoulders, then her chest, she would find that first button and unpop it. Bea would startle at that, only for a moment, only because she isn't used to it, but looking at Ava, with her lips swollen, panting, big eyes... she would push that thought aside. She would kiss her again and this time she would allow herself to touch Ava, gently, but more determined.

Ava would start walking backwards, as if saying "take me to bed" and Bea would walk slowly before her, with her eyes closed, trying to focus only on Ava's lips because maybe that way she would be able to shut up all the insecurities. They would stumble on their way to the bed and Bea would try to say "I'm sorry" while Ava would put a finger on her lips and just laugh, and say a terrible pun to her. Being there Bea would doubt until she doesn't anymore, until she stops thinking and Ava becomes the only thing she's worried at.

#beatrice's top energy will be released but we need to get to that first #working through all those years of repression is not easy #my take on avatrice first time #bea would be shy as fuck #ava would be her normal self #again something im between a mini fic a character analysis and me havin a breakdown #warrior nun #warrior nun analysis #sister beatrice #ava silva #avatrice #save warrior nun #ava and beatrice #ficlet

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

pov: your mental breakdown is giving your boyfriend a mental breakdown

#the cryptid speaks #lucky jumbo <3 #no one is havin a good time let me tell u :') #also that's not how this scene is going to go but can u imagine if they did have to call (at least) a third hermit #grian or joe or xisuma or someone tryin to enjoy a nice morning jus to get a message from luke like #'the panic attack im Not Having gave mumbo a panic attack :( pls help' like when do u breakdown and invite a new hermit (therapist)

[crow-wings16]

Currently rewatching Tfp,

AND DAMN

I forgot just how sexy Breakdown is-

Like-

"AHHHHHHHHH"

The first appearance/battle?!?!

HOOK. LINE. SINKER. He's so sexy, like everything about him- no wonder K.O. is his partner 😏

Just him casually putting his titties back together-

And then there is

I love him so much <3

100%

#HOT DAYUM #im havin heart palpitations over here #big boi is killing me #but in a good way #tfp #Breakdown #Transformers #transformers prime

[txmxkis]

headache from holding in tears

#nothin like havin a sudden realization about your place or lack thereof in your family to make christmas a downer #like while i was with them. it was mostly pleasant #but then i left and realized how much of a face i have to put on around my parents especially #and how much i really do not feel like i can be myself . at all #hurts bro. really really hurts #now im sitting here alone in my room debating the pros and cons of having a breakdown so. fantastic #sorry im oversharing again i had to get it off my chest #im gonna go try and. Not Do This #i hope all of u had nice days today!!! love u #and im giving u a hug. if u want. if christmas is hard for u #[☂] — bunny babbles

[stagnot]

he shouldn't have lived. he really shouldn't 'ave. what was it that awaits him anyway on the other side ? king's landing's no home, and the north ... the north s'kind to him so far, aye. gave him a job; somethin' to do before the final hour came. and it was where arya lived, but his blood is all southerners. could he really be at home here ? could he really find a place t' stay when he can barely found the girl he's lost in the woman who'd returned ? ( and it's his fault, innit ? 'course it is. why wouldn't it be ? stupid, stupid bull. always goin' at it head-long unthinking, and now s' all broken. )

he should be takin' deep breaths. deep breaths. this is no different than the times he's had the shaking when he'd return t' king's landing, so scared he was to be found; so weighed down he'd been by the faults he can never undo. bloody useless these shakings were, but if gendry don't have it under control, he'll lose his breath. and he'd rather die by a wright sooner than dying 'cause he forgot how t' damn breathe. fuck— his eyes catch on a shadow, and gendry holds over a gasp, leans his forehead 'gainst the wall t' count the way his chest rises, before he could manage a voice.

❛ — sorry, mate. m'pissin'. give me a mo'. ❜

@womanlives / smol sc

#womanlives #womanlives: meera. #IM SO HYPE OVER THEM U HAVE NO IDEA #also yes this is after they survived the war #and yes hes havin a lowkey breakdown :// #INTERACTIONS. #ptsd tw //

[crymeariveronceagain]

#kotlc #kotlc bronte #councilor bronte #kotlc exile #kotlc memes #im required by law to steal his kneecaps #kneecap theft #kneecap #kneecaps #kotlc sophie #sophie foster #havin a breakdown about this atm #river re-reads kotlc

[arrogantmrcnry]

experiencing pure unfiltered rage @ having to write and explain sterilization/disinfection/piercing processes im gonna gnaw my fucking fingers off

#ive been woprking on this for WEEKS i hate writing i hate it i hate it i hate it hatred malice violnce on u @ the APP #i might b havin a lil bit of a breakdown frfr rn gamers my brain is a prison and im so angry for no reason at god let me die #every little thing is setting me off rn idk how to function!!!

[jiggolo]

hi amber SO glad we agree on this. funniset shit ever

#IT GOES FROM #i dont care about you gyus! to #IM HAVIN A BREAKDOWN OVER YOUGUYS IMGONNA KMS AND ITS UR FAULT #to LOL why dont you just talk it out with us? #to NEVER EVEN THINK OF ME AGAIN IF I SEE YOU IN PASSING I WILL KILL YOU #to radio silence #to IM GOING TO GET YOU. IM KILLING YOU. IM BEATING YOU TO DEATH WIHT A ROLLERSKATE. I AM PUSHING YOU OFF A CLIFF #and then back around to i dont evne care #rinse recycle repeat

[girlsjustwannagettheirblogback]

#its me #im the whumpee #s talks #s is havin a mild breakdown let it pass

[certifiedrabbit]

realizing that, "I only focus well when I listen to music/podcasts that my brain wants to listen to at that very moment" sounds completely ridiculous to normal people.

like. they hear these words, and it's processed in their mind as, 'I should be allowed to wear earbuds because I want to'

#havin a cheeky mental breakdown today cause im overwhelmed overstimulated and upset abt how broken i am

[saintslaughter]

i am so full of bad emotions rn lmao

#mun;; #tbd;; #for an hour and a half i had just chest pain but now im havin a little bit of a tough time breathing so im mad #its probably just a panic attack but i am NOT havin it #im gonna have a breakdown im so upset

[strawbearykahlua]

girls goin thru it, tag urself

#im the first annie #when ur havin a breakdown and all of a sudden ur brain goes 'thats not really a big deal' #lmao #tag yourself #or whatever

[dopaminegyro]

i cant find my nail clippers and i somehow managed to break only the underneath layer of my fingernail and im bleeding now bc i tried to get it out and it stabbed me and i cant bite jt off bc i painted that specific nail today so itll be a pain in the ass to get the nail polish back off so basically i have to sleep with 1 skeleton glove on bc its my only non fingerless glove thag isnt literally a mitten. i broke the nail by searching for my second breakfast food pattern sock for like 10 miniyes then giving up and putting on plain socks that i found while searching for the other sock but i accidentally put on the plain sock with a hole in it so i then had to find the other plain sock without a hole in it i saw earlier then when i couldnt find it in the clean laundry hamper i was looking in esrlier and successfully gaslit myself into thinking it wasnt there and resigned myself to wearing the striped knee high socks i found in the hamper i found the other plain sock on the floor under whete the hamper was before. ive been trying to go to bed for 45 minutes now

#mind you this is also directly after a really bad mental breakdown that lasted half an hour. so #im havin a real good nighr so far #dpg txt

[serendipitous-mage]

HOW WE FEELIN BOUT THAT BTB S2 POST CREDIT SCENE LADS

(if it wasnt obvious, spoilers below the cut)

imagine giving (who you assume is) a homeless person (spitting out rocks, dressed like a clown and in full makeup) a few bucks to get a bite to eat-

[events happen]

this guy now owns a food truck (and you work at it)

theres some friendly workplace rivalry with another food truck (they shoot a canon at you, but its fine, theyre just Really Into It, its their brand, yknow how it is)

PSYCH its not friendly--mans just got Absolutely Curbstomped into the Ground in front of your eyes and the rival food truck owner just straight up disappears down after him

think poor tim is gona be havin a bit of a breakdown on his worldview lmfaooo (all of them, probably)

im posting this and then rewatching all of it for the 7 thousandth time with the knowledge of TIM

also this?????

DO THEY GO LOOKING FOR STEVE THAT SEEMS LIKE THE MUNKUSTRAP ALEX HIRSCH CLOWN DO THEY SHOW UP AFTER HE GETS SQUASHED HELLO HI IM NORMAL ABOUT ALL OF THIS????

EDIT: did tim help steve get a food truck? did he have input on the slogan hot tires hot burgers?? this is also forcing me to put into perspective that like, tim has been, astronomically normal about all the absolute batshit things happening, just saying 'weird vibes haha yea' and going on with it at worst or *annoyed with this bullshit* at best (vice versa?)

#im losing my gd mind lmaooooo #ian is so damn funny #nobody stop him #bigtop burger #btb #just me

[mooodyblue]

I dont normally send ask, and you can totally ignore this!

I've had such a bad day and I was wondering if you could write something where Elvis's little has had a really bad day and is just super overwhelmed. I feel like elvis would be so sweet and comforting

im sorry you had a bad day!!! i hope this cheers you up a little <3 he would absolutely be sweet and comforting !

wc: 734

first it was spilling coffee on the new rug, vernon coming over to pester you about elvis and his recent spendings, then being nearly mobbed by a group of people at the grocery store and trying to not have a breakdown on the ride home. all you needed was bread! it wasn't until you saw elvis’s car in the driveway as you pulled in, knowing he’d be angry about you leaving by yourself.

you stepped into the house with the bag in your hand, tear stained cheeks as elvis stood there, glaring at you. you sighed, “elvis–”

“thought i said to not leave unless you got someone with you.” he strictly stated, crossing his arms.

“i just needed–”

“and i don't wanna hear it, don't be goin’ out unless you let me know. somethin’ coulda happened to ya!” his voice raised slightly.

you didn't say a word, only looking up at him as you began to cry. elvis’s facial expression softened. “oh, honey…” he sighed and pulled you close, tossing the bag of bread aside, and wrapping his arms around you. “what happened? talk to me.”

you sobbed into his shoulder, “t-they were chasin me, daddy.” he pulled away at the sudden name, more concerned. “a-and i spilled m’ drink all over the rug you bought and then-”

“woah, woah–okay. deep breaths, c'mon.” elvis took your hands, taking a deep breath. you copied him and exhaled, repeating this until your sobs slowed down. “that's right, honey. there you go.” he rubbed your shoulders reassuringly. “none of that matters, it's alright. you’re here now, you're safe.

“‘m sorry, really.” you sniffled. “didn’ mean to make daddy mad o-or be lil’.”

he gasped, “baby–no. don’t go apologizin’ now.”

“am i in trouble?...”

“no, honey. you ain’t in trouble for havin’ a bad day.” he sighed and looked around the house, thinking of a way to cheer you up. then a grin appeared on his face. “how ‘bout this, you go outside for about….oh…i don't know–five minutes? go walk around the garden for a bit. i’ll have somethin’ for ya shortly.”

elvis was good at a lot of things, obviously. he took pride in his singing and way of performing, however, he took more pride in making you happy. when you were little, you had things that made you happy. whether it'd be plushies, snacks or your favorite toys; they'd always bring you the comfort you needed. but on days like today, he knew you needed more than to just be lazing on the couch with a plushie.

he hurriedly went up to his bedroom, tearing all the sheets from his bed and dragging them down to the den. couches were moved around, he laid out sheets as high and far out as he could, creating the perfect fort. he filled the inside with another sheet and various pillows, wanting to create a cozy environment as relaxing as possible. he took one more trip upstairs to grab your plushies, a few coloring books and toys to fill your fort with. snacks too, along with a filled sippy cup. elvis had to take a step back to view his creation, incredibly proud of making your dream fort in a short amount of time.

“daddy?”

“in here!” he yelled back, smiling as you walked in. “well?”

you gasped, looking at the beautifully made fort in front of you. elvis got it perfect, he even brought your favorite plushie to join you! you didn't know if you wanted to cry, scream or jump into elvis’s arms but god, you were so happy. instead, you ran up to him and hugged him tightly. “oh daddy, i love it!”

he let out a sigh of relief, “thank god.” he laughed. “you've got snacks ‘n toys all down in there. but don’t go eatin’ 'em all at once. you know what happens when you eat too many snacks, right baby?”

“they make my tummy hurt.” you said, proudly.

“that's right.” he kissed the top of your head. “now go play.”

you giggled with excitement as you crawled in, hugging one of your plushies tightly before looking up at elvis with sad eyes.

“what did i forget?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“a-are you not gonna join?” you pouted.

he felt his heart melt, not being able to say no to that look on your face. “y’know what, yittle. i think i will.”

#elvis x reader

[lucys-pastry-shoppe]

its very late i should be sleepy but no im curled up crying and shaking havin a mental breakdown because ash and eiji

#banana fish #ash lynx #eiji okumura #.txt #mine #sad bf hours #i cryin so hard