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scarlettrayzor · 2 days ago
I aspire to the level of pettiness that bilbo baggins reaches with his notes on the gifts left to his relatives
Some highlights:
- "For ADELARD TOOK, for his VERY OWN,from Bilbo; on an umbrella. Adelard had carried off many unlabeled ones."
- "For MILO BURROWS, hoping it will be useful, from B.B.; on a gold pen and ink bottle. Milo never answered letters."
- "For the collection of HUGO BRACEGIRDLE, from a contributor; on an (empty) bookcase. Hugo was a great borrower of books, and worse than usual at returning them."
And last but certainly not least:
"For LOBELIA SACKVILLE-BAGGINS, as a PRESENT; on a case of silver spoons. Bilbo believed that she had acquired a good many of his spoons, while he was away on his former journey. Lobelia knew that quite well. When she arrived later in the day, she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons."
This man came for blood and he got it.
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npdbubblygum · 2 days ago
Zodiac signs as song quotes that are NPD moods
Yes, you read it right, with my poor understanding of zodiac stereotypes I will tell you what narcissistic personality disorder mood you are through song quotes. I got the idea from when people excuse their PD traits by saying they’re a Leo or smthn
• Aries
“I feel numb, I’ve been burning with haste, and I’m realizing now it’s a terrible waste”
- Baby hotline by Jack Stauber
• Taurus
“I’m sick and tired of false devotion, devote yourself to moving on, or suck it up and let it go, but you’re always out to get me”
- The irony of choking on a lifesaver by All Time Low
• Gemini
“I was the best at being second place, now I’m just a runner up, the second one you think of everyday before you go back to one”
- The graduates by Speedy Ortiz
• Cancer
“I see you staring in your mirror, what will it take for you to see? Your pretty smile is a monster and your beauty is empty”
- Beauty is empty by Mars Argo
• Leo
“I’m a force to be sure and I won’t be ignored, rather be dead than boring and I won’t say sorry, so hate me that just means I’m getting to you if I can’t have love them attention will do”
- Look at me by PhemieC/Hannah M
• Virgo
“Trying hard not to look like I’m trying that hard, failing miserably at everything including that”
- Two good things by Modern Baseball
• Libra
“Can you heal me? Have I gained too much? When you become untouchable you’re unable to touch. Is there a real me? Pop the champagne! It hurts me just to think and I don’t do pain”
- My ordinary life by the Living Tombstone
• Scorpio
“I’m gonna win, I’m gonna try, I’ll never lose, I’ll never die. You’ve seen me before, you’ll see me again, I’ll never give up, I’ll never give in.”
- I’m gonna win by Rob Cantor
• Sagittarius
“Yeah I snuck out your bed, so what? I’m a cold hearted kid, no love. I’ll take you home but I won’t take your calls. And I’m not sorry at all, I’m not sorry at all.”
- So what by K. Flay
• Capricorn
“Don’t cheat me. Don’t you cheat me. Don’t you think you can fucking lie to me. Cause I won’t fall and kiss your feet.”
- Philosopher my arse by Marina
• Aquarius
“I’m like the cold dead winter finally looking for the spring, and you’re the nice warm sun you give birth to everything”
- Today is not real by the Front Bottoms
• Pisces
“How to feel when you orchestrate a big deal, something of an ordeal, but you just don’t have it in you”
- Slip away by Mother Mother
If you feel the urge to explain how badly I’m misunderstanding the nature of a Sagittarius please know it’s wasted effort you will be happier if you scroll or block
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headspace-hotel · 6 months ago
The four seasons: hot girl summer, scary woman winter, weird lady spring and goth bitch autumn
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missmamibee · 7 months ago
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I got curious and made this. Which do you see when you read? 
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olsenkelly · 9 months ago
good morning to people who are touch-starved, people who desperately need to get railed, everyone who is not making a new year’s resolution, people who don’t go to bed until after 12, all the bitches not getting kissed at midnight next week, people who cannot swim, and as always, bad bitches who wear glasses
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actualbird · 5 months ago
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hey i made this fanfic writer meme. drop in my ask which one u think i am!!!!
(okay to rb!)
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Ah yes, the 5 love languages:
touch starved
my parents never told me they are proud of me
i love Stuff
im so fucken tired please god just let me rest for 5 minutes
hey pay attention to me
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someone on ko-fi requested cute but strange animals, take these
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Introducing: the Quoll, Patagonia Hare, Jabiru Stork, King Vulture, Kinkajou, Sunda Colugo, Irrawaddy Dolphin, Dugong (so fun to say. du-GONG. this is a pokemon), and Bilby (2 pics bc I like them so much. Bilbies)
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lucymontero · 4 months ago
Zebulon, scan those people for flaws.
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Cowardly. Weaker than a small bird. Long creepy finger-like toes. Hasn't read a book in thirteen years. Doesn't floss daily. Kicked out of an Olive Garden for stashing breadsticks in purse. Self-deprecating to mask insecurity. Has a freakish sweat disorder. Unresolved emotions. Showers with shocking rarity. Nose picker. Can't accept that his daughter is her own unique person and not simply a reflection of himself. Smells like garbage. Walks to kitchen and forgets why. Once brought up his favorite rib joint during a eulogy. Secret rage issues. Trips over own legs. Neurotic. Says 'Marry-O' instead of 'Mario'. Mouth-breather. More interested in quail migration than his children's interior lives. Looks at ex-boyfriend Carlo Meloni D.D.S. on facebook more than is comfortable. Doctor-diagnosed chocoholic. Doesn't listen. Compares self to curated moms on social media. Eats own weight in cheese puffs each month. Makes goofy videos because she's afraid if she really tried hard to make something good, she'll fail. Showers only occasionally. Only pretends to like Fellini. Freaks out talking to girls. Sweaty. Is obsessed with quail. Incapable of change. Will never get better. No matter what. They're horrible.
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coldishcase · 2 months ago
Tag yourself: Which Loki Variant Are You?
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TVA Approved Loki™️
nothing goes your way
a mean, closeted gay
a Hot Mess™️
dead inside
family is.... complicated.
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Make Asgard Great Again
gets by on sheer charisma alone, like seriously, you maxed out charisma and dumped wisdom.
good at making friends fast
bad at keeping them
you make a lot of promises you can't keep
you look great tho, and that's what matters
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The Superior Loki, Obviously
It's a bit early for a midlife crisis but here you are
steals food from besties
Bi as fuck
would use a profile picture that looks like the blue lives matter flag but when you look closer it says "sike! ACAB" just to troll people
100% ride or die for that one friend
generally confused but doing your Best
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Lo.Ki. Hammer
tells banger stories
literally no one can tell if they're true or if you're making shit up
Really likes Arts & Crafts
tries to be everyone's friend and usually just ends up in the middle of drama
somehow pulls off thrift store chic
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Senior Discount Loki
somehow both stylish and lacking a single ounce of fashion sense
Mom Friend
the only one in the friend group who has their shit together (finally)
knows all the life hacks, like therapy
still depressed
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Lil' Loki
builds awesome pillow forts
"I killed thor" wow buddy that sounds like a lot to unpack, wanna talk about that???
no, you will not be talking about it.
likes weird pets
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literally just a gator in cosplay
Are you a loki? Nobody knows. I couldn't even find a decent gif of this funky lil guy, bless his scaly little heart.
Speaks primarily in grunts and growls
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The Actually Superior One
somehow cute and scary at the same time
pretty much always the smartest person in the room at any given time
better than everyone and knows it
fueled by rage and spite
you decided what you were gonna do when you were 8 and stuck to it
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Not A Loki
you aren't a Loki Variant, but you know everything about them
good listener
The Dad Friend
probably writes fanfiction
just wants the simple pleasures in life, like a jet ski.
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moreauz · 15 days ago
my former gifted kid playlist directory
autumn. frosted breaths, hot drinks, tweed blazers and knitted sweaters. coloured candles and stacks of classics in dimly lit rooms. library dates and early morning coffee runs. witches, pumpkins, brown jackets. the air is heavy but the coffee is warm. the leaves are falling and its time to fully embrace the dark academia aesthetic and go feral, as we do.
yearning. an almost constant state of being at this point. poetry, calloused fingers, white flowing shirts, candlelight, long eyelashes, twisting your ring on your finger, words dying in your throat every time you look at them, patterns traced on skin, a brush of fingers, fading memories, car conversations, sly nicknames, stolen kisses, broken promises.
introspection. coffee shops, foggy mornings, rainy evenings, city lights, flannel shirts, silver rings, dark colours, elliot smith, true crime podcasts, eye contact across a dim cafe, secondhand smoke, secondhand shirt, ink stains, faded jeans, chilly nights, messy notes, great music taste, probably gatekeeps, optimistic nihilist, feeling stuck, feeling like you’re meant for more than this.
feeling the big sad again. not really sure what brought it on, listening to sad songs to cope, rewatching comfort movies, nostalgia, self doubt, tracing a path on a map with your finger, leather watches, closed curtains, cancelled calls, staggered breaths, gasps for air, drying tears, midnight ice cream, watching the sunset, sighs of relief, hopeful smiles, things will get better.
overstimulated. too loud, too quiet, too many people, not enough. long walks,  art galleries and bookstores. tangled earphones and painted totebags. need to collect your thoughts, need an iced coffee. skipping every song because you can’t find the right one, your head's a mess but your outfit is great today.
love. slow songs, dancing in the kitchen, fingers intertwined, cheap wine, good company, philosophical talks on the roof, knowing looks and wry grins, laughing together while making breakfast, oversized sweaters and cold hands, flowing dresses and loosened ties, candles and annotated paperbacks, dirty jokes and warm hugs, home.
sunlight. rays streaming through the windows, it’s saturday and you can sleep in, warm sheets, freshly brewed coffee, a cat jumping onto the counter top, syrup and pancakes, plants on the windowsill, arms around your waist in the kitchen, the radio is playing, soft tunes cutting through the morning, you’re awake and ready to face the day.
moonlight. hot chocolate, fairy lights, thinking aloud, cozy socks, the feel of cotton and the smell of rain, making playlists and rereading childhood classics, cough percy jackson cough, indie folk music, the colour dark green, making tea, listening to traffic, worn-in sweatshirts and vines on the wall, lamps, late night snacks, doing your best.
iridescence. the feeling you get leaving a movie theatre. neon lights, midnight strolls, bus rides home, vivid pink clouds, blueberry slushies, shitty alcohol, leather jackets, the colour purple, a24 films, eyes closed against a car window, bubble gum, sarcasm, graffiti, disassociating at frat parties, retro diners at 2am, a secret romantic, tired, can’t wait to see the world.
arson. fiery eyes and deep purple eyeliner, kind of want to be left alone, kind of want to rule the world, smashing plates in abandoned houses, smudged mascara, 4am mcdonalds, stop signs, screaming lyrics from a rooftop, combat boots, chipped black nail polish, head banging and big smiles, conspiratorial winks and high fives, optimism and anarchy.
let’s get high. self explanatory.
dude that little kid is hardcore goth. soundtrack from when we were 14. sorry.
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shazos · 3 months ago
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Different types of villains be like:
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