#im just tired and i don't have any money

[nabsthevulture]

quick someone give me 2k no time for questions

#ugh #i have like at least 1k of parts and work we have to do to the van #like parts for the passenger sliding door #just getting it cleaned is going to be like $500 i bet #unless i pay the neighbors kid to do it like he offered #maybe i'll ask him what he would charge me #sigh #then theres other little things that all add up #im just tired and i don't have any money #im going to be selling more of my personal collection here soon #and then hopefully i can just get my ass up and dump buckets #but its wet and im depressed and in pain and i still feel nausea constantly #i have some basic maintenance stuff i have to do as well #and then if i replace the filter with an actual quality filter itll be like 75 dollars #but that one i can clean repeatedly #instead of dumping 20 bucks on a cheaper filter every three months #i can buy the k&n filter and just clean it every 3 months instead #yeah you gotta buy the oil spray but thats not expensive and it lasts quite a while #so we'll see how i feel tomorrow #i have to go to AS to clean my wheells #and then i have to call the stupid ass insurance people and demand an update #i only work 2 or 3 days a week but i never feel like i have enough time for anything #dl

[von-karmas-a-bitch]

pov you're franziska and you're 11 years old and you just started your first period and papa has NOT been helpful but your brother has conducted extensive research and is handling it surprisingly well

#i am never gonna finish this so have the wip lmao #do you have any idea how difficult it is for me a furry. to draw not only a human but a human with kinda yaoi proportions #by tracing him over eminem's lanky ass. of all people #im honestly amazed it didn't turn out a lot worse #i spent way longer on this than i thought i would #i didn't think it would even result in something i was comfortable posting lmao but here we are #also i thought abt looking up what people use in germany and/or finding the german packaging of products we have in the uk too #but with the god-awful-to-nonexist transparent png's online shops be uploading for their websites i can only assume are ran by boomers #i was like yknow what im just gonna use what im familiar with and consider high end and/or bougie #i would not be caught dead using nurofen and neither would most people i know on account of generic stuff is cheaper + works the same #but i imagine they must make their money somehow. probably from people who are well off enough to not really think abt that stuff #and being the perfectionists they are the von karma household are not gonna use the german equivalent of tesco's own version of anything #so. we've got what in my heavy period having opinion are The Only Acceptable Pads #then we've got expensive ice cream with a european-sounding name bc of course #then we've got the chocolate 11yo me was always craving but could rarely have bc ny dad was a cheapskate so. i assume it's expensive #the nurofen of course #and. i don't know much abt what paracetamol brands are considered bougie and was already soso tired #so i just. grabbed one that wasn't a generic tesco version and went with it #i was also gonna put a hot water bottle in a cute fluffy case but i forgor so just pretend it's there #fanart #shitpost #miles edgeworth #sibling brainrot #my art #my shitposts #im..... not putting this in the aa tag #not bc im embarrassed abt the art itself but bc im afraid that if the cis men catch a glimpse of it they'll clown on me and call me gross #bc cis men do not know how to be normal about periods #it's a fact of life grow up this isn't cursed it is incredibly wholesome and sweet to imagine miles reading several wikipedia articles #in order to better understand and assist his little sister through her first period. it's cute it's not gross fuck you

[izzy-b-hands]

today should be a t break day

bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts

but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain

so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either

#text post #no idea where the fuck this came from and it kept me up until fucking four in the fucking morning #but only NEARLY crying my body/brain still won't let me FULLY cry #and i did email my prior doc with a 'can i ask u just abt this one current symptom and if it is abt what i think & ill send u 20 bucks even' #she said no to the twenty bucks but said yeah it does sound like my ptsd has been triggered by multiple things over the last year #and the not being able to cry is a part of it. my body's trying to protect me from feeling anything abt it and breaking down #and part of that means not letting the tears fall so there's no physical acknowledgement of any feelings #which is what i was thinking was going on but it's nice to confirm it with someone who knows their shit #doesn't fix it but at least i know. #the thing is that the triggers are like. good? bc im in a healthier safer environment now with ppl that don't do what my mum & fam do to me #but it means my brain is learning just how much of a lot of it Wasn't Normal and was actually Pretty Harmful and that's. #i want my brain to just accept and get over that already tbh. okay so that's the case it doesn't change anything???? #why are we still thinking abt it and having feelings over it at this point bc that feels like a waste of time #there are no apologies I'll get for things that happened from when i was younger and there's no closure it just Is What It Is #I'm tired of even wanting to cry over it when I'd rather be throwing myself into making money & being productive art-wise #it manages to interrupt so many fucking facets of my life like #whatever. anyway considering a music au new draft where ed and izzy meet seth. and immediately offer to kill him for Pickles aksnsjfnfgj

[enviousinfluences]

Lately, I feel disappointed by how things have turned out often. It's beginning to wear me out. It's making me struggle to care about things and generally filled with apathy. I really feel like everything is a struggle uphill for me and I consider myself a motivated and tenacious person but I have to admit I'm really tired and I feel depressed.

#idk maybe I just need to talk about it #Christmas was a mess this year #I didn't get a tree like I've been dreaming of doing for years #I am struggling furnishing my apartment because money #I couldn't afford gifts for anyone #visiting home has been dissapointment on dissapointment #everyone has moved on with their lives #I caught a bad sickness which kept me in bed so I couldn't even enjoy doing the few things I do #I'm struggling to find fulfillment or talent in my art #just everything I make lately feels not very good #I don't have any outlets #not sure why I can't improve #im tired of feeling sorry for myself #but like this is rough

[spaghett-onaplate]

not gonna lie man it is not all good in the neighbourhood rn

#i was getting homesick when i was on holiday but now that im home its just so. ugh. #The Darkness Creeps Forth Once More #the food is shit im annoyed at my family im annoyed at myself the house is always messy #i dont get anything done i just rot in bed forever and ever #except now at least i have work #which is either a good or bad thing #good for money and getting out of the house but kind of. ugh. #im sleeping too much but im always so tired all the food tastes the same and makes me feel nauseous #the cats don't have any food and it's stressing me out and it's like i don't recognise them anymore #after being away for less than a week ?? but still #my sense of time is so skewed im fucked in the head i just want to go to school again #my dysphoria is so bad and my dad is so fucking unsupportive but cant admit it #hrrrrrrvhvhbdj its fine it will be okay I Will Persevere #at least im seeing my friends tomorrow :( #i just want my depression to fuck off #for one goddamn minute

[camptw1nk]

many thoughts rushin thru my brain

#i am. im having uni thoughts #specifically drop out of uni thoughts #and i have these thoughts every year its true but usually at the end of the semester not the start #i am just. burned out from study i think #i have been in school of some form every semester since i was 5 years old that is Twenty Years of non stop schooling #and i am Tired #like i wanna drop out and work full time im enjoying my job a lot #but my doctor and gym membership are both thru school and so theyre free and so. if i stop. i have to start paying #which is doable if i work full time probably i just. its a lot and its a big deal #ive contacted the student advisors for an appointment and ill talk to my dad since hes the one that funded my studies #i wish i could just like. do One Class and not have it connected to a degree u know #enough to be enrolled and do some work but not so overwhelming #bc my current degree is one that i dont think can be done part time #so idk #its too late to withdraw and get my money back that deadline passed last week #its just very. im overwhelmed and i can not do 9h of uni on a Wednesday right after 3 days in a row of working #i could do another work day no problem but uni is a struggle bc it takes so much mental work #i don't know gang idk what imma do i will wait and see what the academic advisors say #in the mean time i have elected not to go to any of my wednesday classes i dont have the energy #i might go to my cinema studies class this afternoon i enjoy movie watching

[cyndakiller]

.

#Will I ever stop feeling so miserable and alone and worthless and a weight for my parents and for those who dare love me? #please stop loving me im just a nobody on earth trying to survive and failing miserably #i won't ever feel happiness or the gentle touch of someone who i deeply love because of the situations i put myself in #im fucking sick of living in a society where EVERY FUCKING THINK needs money and im so fucking tired of not having any #im so fucking tired and sick of living with my comservative evangelical parents as well #they don't give me support they only make me not kill myself or starve myself to death #im so fucking tired of living rn #im turning 29 this week and what have i accomplished? nothing. i have no place to call home and i have nowhere else to go #the ones who love me are far away or i pushed them out becoming unreachable #i just wanted to lay in bed inside the embrace of a loved one but i have nothing. #i know i will survive and this moment will pass but it fucking hurts while its happening #and im fucking tired of having to be 'strong' all the time #so answering some of yalls questions: no. im not even close to fine.

[almostastranger]

honestly don't know if I even want to mail this bag I'm making for my mom to her because I am so sick and tired of putting in so much extra effort and time and money into people who just can't give the same back.

#it isnt just about my mom either #i dont know how to talk to my partner or if this is going to last #because i am so tired of doing everything in this relationship and even asking for something for xmas is like. too much i guess #knowing they have way more money than me and dont even want to get me something i asked for 30$ while i have no savings and got them #something they begged for for 60$ ... its not about the money either tho like. we dont go on dates we dont have dedicated time #cause they refuse to do anything i want to do because i dont want to just sit at home and play videogames #not to mention i work 40+ hrs a week and still have to do all the chores even though theyre right there #i do all the cooking all the grocery shopping since they wont leave the house #i take care of all yhe animals while they sleep. literally #but how can i say anything. cause any time i say anything they just get upset and start crying and it never changes #same with their job they dont get paid on time and don't do anything but cry and doesn't listen when I say to stop working for their parent #cause they dont like any other job out there and doesnt want to even draw and just giving excuses all the time about literally everything #what do i say im so tired at this point i dont even know how to vring it up

[rotturn]

every day on this trip is worse

#i can not stand my sister at all i truly can't #she's been yelling and arguing for 10 minutes because she has her hair straightner but mum doesnt have a plug converter #and she keeps yelling ab how her fringe is fucked when it looks literally the same as it has this entire trip #and is yelling ab how its mums fault as if she couldn't have bought this shit herself before we left #i am just. so over this #any fun that would come from being on an international trip is immediately taken away by my mum and sister constantly getting angry #and either yelling or getting passive aggressive and making me feel horrible its just so tiring #bc i feel like such a fucking asshole for not enjoying an international trip that i will never get the opportunity for again #like this cost so much money and it feels awful to say i dont want it or that its not fun or whatever #but i am constantly dissociating and trying not to cry and ive had meltdowns and panic attacks almost every day but im not allowed to show #them bc my sister tells me to calm down and not be so dramatic and everything is a sensory nightmare #and i have a very specific diet at home and its not available outside of nz and there arent really any worthy substitutes and even if there #are i wont know bc i dont speak the languages so im just living on shitty little protien drinks and hot chocolate which makes me feel worse #and on top of it all im sick and i havent had any chance to rest bc my sister wont stop ab going places and doing thingd #and gets pissy if i dont want to #and its just so fucking difficult i knew that being stuck w them for 2 months would suck but its been 1 week and i cant do this anymore #i have no other option but i seriously don't know what to do i don't know how to handle this im at my limit #travelling is stressful and anxiety inducing and its hard enough doing it once on my own #let alone every 2 or 3 days w family that rushes and runs late and has 10000 bags that never fucking fit on the trains #and its always me left standing in the aisle blocking peoples path with nowhere to go bc my sisters giant suitcase wont fit anywhere #i hate this so much and its making me hate all the cities and countries we go to bc i dont get to experience the places i only get #to experience fucking breakdowns and im constantly drinking water bc im constantly dehydrated from either crying or panicked breathing #its a mess and i hate it and i want to go home I haven't felt comfortable or safe since i left home and i wont feel either until i go back #but that isnt until the last couple days of january so i just have to keep dealing with things getting worse by the day #negative cw #rant cw #ask to tag cw

[imeminemp3]

i have. to go shopping

#im hungy but if i don't want to #but fr i have to get cat food tmr so i won't be going to the supermarket also #and i reaallly shouldn't waste more money on ubereats #well i wanted to walk cause i cba driving but walking is just too much for me rn bc ocd stuff #soooo #idk i had a really tiring day yesterday and I've just been chilling all day but i walked up to the record store before #so that's alr one outing #idk man idk #ill see if i can order any decent groceries maybe #cause that's a bit better atleast #diary

[exerlin]

my life would be so much better with a 2nd non-bathroom room and a bunny rabbit

#bnuny thoughts #i think im getting burnt out on splatoon and it's making me sad #idk what else to do i wish i could pursue my hobbies but without space or meds i can't muster the strength i need #also i tried looking for a job today and wow. you even need a food certification to be paid minimum wage?? #i just can't deal with this shit at all still #job hunting irl doesnt work and neither does online #too many barriers to entry for the simplest of things #i don't understand how anyone functions under these conditions #im not good enough at anything to be paid for it i guess #this system thinks i should die i guess #food is taking up all my extra money nowadays #and im still running out of food stamps #im eating 2 cups of ramen a day ($3 each) because i keep gagging on the $1 maruchan cups of ramen #i ordered a copious amount of noodles on amazon hoping to keep my food costs strictly on my EBT this month #trying to go out by myself as little as possible so that I can afford to be able to *insert literally anything that isn't play video games* #im so so deeply tired of video games i wish i could experience the wonders of life and reality but that costs money each time #video games cost money 1 time and can be played over and over again #sometimes they dont even cost money #but a drink that isn't prepackaged costs at least $5 #and food is even more than that #and no loitering because everything is actually private property #and also i feel extremely uncomfortable in public places like parks because strangers have always been hostile to me (in georgia) #and i have not had any experiences that conflict with that trend as i avoid public spaces (which is easy because you have to seek them out) #i want to be in one but i won't feel comfortable because i will feel like i don't belong #also i wouldnt know what to do #and anything like “daydreaming” or “relaxing” would probably result in my dazed ass accidentally staring at someone for too long #i just don't know how to deal with such an intense fear #at least not by myself

[luvsavos]

life kicks me in the ribs yet again: more than likely i won't be able to get all the money i need in time for the alatreon model, so. got excited for nothing :)

#mar.txt #vent? i guess? #again:girlhelp: #i need $120.25 still and of course i didnt get a job in time because why would things go my way and even if i do a bunch around the house #the money is due the day before my dad gets paid so that won't work #im panicking sort of to the point of being kind of nauseous from it haha #turning to art comms from my friends out of desperation but i don't think i'll get enough to cover the last bit of cost #not to mention the issue of my phone absolutely fucking sucks ass so i can't do digital art until i get a new one so any comms i DO have/get #will have to wait until i get a new phone for me to finish them and i know that's kind of A Problem which is why i'm only asking close #friends who i know won't be bothered by the idea of paying upfront then having to wait a little while for the finished product #though at least i can get the paper basic sketch done，since i draw the basic thing on paper then do more detail and whatnot digitally #idk if any of my moots wouldn't be bothered by that. i can promise i will get the full things done once i get a new phone. i'm just really #fucking desperate rn lmao god i fucking hate everything #i need to just. stop letting myself feel the emotion of excitement over Anything in the future. because when i do it always，ALWAYS goes #wrong. youd think id learn by now but no apparently im just too fucking stupid to #anyways. ill draw humanoids and i can try my absolute damndest at mh monsters even though i kind of struggle with anything but malzeno #practice makes perfect right? hahahahahaaa. fuck me. #not to be concerning on main but if this were me a few years ago i think at this point i'd be genuinely considering offing myself because i #am SO fucking tired of literally everything possible going wrong and even the things that are SUPPOSED to bring me some comfort or happiness #among the ocean of everything else ALSO going wrong #obviously the more money that could be tossed my way the better but hell i'll even do just paper sketch comms for a lower price i am #genuinely desperate because i really REALLY just want this ONE fucking thing to go right for me. god. just One thing. #alternatively if anyone wants to just. Give Me money. idk id feel bad about getting money without giving something in return but if anyone #WANTS to do that theyre free to as well. idk just dm me for my paypal if that or a shitty probably time-delayed comm sounds like smthn youd #be interested in??? even tho who am i kidding lmfao nobody will，that would be too good and i'm obviously just not fucking allowed to have #good things huh #ugh. sorry for the vent post Again. i swear we'll return to the usually scheduled funnyman stuff and ocposting. eventually. :/

[combeauferre]

so fucking tired of Always being the person who has no money

#put spending money aside for my holiday and tried So Hard to be good about spending this month #don't think i actually spent any money on anything i didnt need except for like two frappes after long days at work #paid less rent than i was supposed to and still ended up with having literally £6 to last me a week #and still being around people who want to go out and do shit #and not being able to pay for it and also not rly being able to say no #and just #im tired of being this person ive been this person my whole fucking life and i just want to Not be this person any more #incoherent rambling #ignore me

[thatskindasapphic]

Trying to build savings in this economy is fucking impossible. Like if its not groceries its rent or car payments or school or phone bills or vet appointments or the dentist or medication etc etc so my savings acct takes forever to make any progress. And then because all of my income is going to yk. Life. If I actually want anything non-essential like clothes, a video game, a book, a cool piece of art, etc I have to dip into my savings for it and it makes me feel guilty so I don't ever indulge. And like at this point what am I even saving for? The average cost of a house in my country is like what. $700,000 or more? I'm never going to have a job with an income that would qualify me for a mortage like that. So whats the point of saving anyways?? Ok I'm sorry for being pessimistic its ok everything will be fine. Rant over

#h talks #like I have insurance but does the insurance cover 100% of costs? fuck no #I have two senior dogs with health issues so like all of my money goes to them #and its just so tiring cause I can't really work any more? I'm already burnt out and in debilitating pain as it is #I have my one job and then respite work but its not like the respite is super consistent? #and its just like ok realistically I might never have a partner so I won't have anyone to split the cost of a house with like other ppl do #Just. UGHHHH #I need to get my eyeglass prescription updated but I just know its going to be so fucking expensive so I've been holding off on it #and the only reason I have any savings to begin with is because I was working all through high school . I got a head start #and like if its bad for me how bad is it for everyone else who isn't as privileged yk? #if any of you tell me to invest I'll attack you. no fucking way am I touching the stock market #I have to take a look into gov subsidy and see if I qualify #like I live at home and still have all these expenses. plus the living here is its own expense on my health #I have friends who live at home who don't have pay rent or groceries or anything AND they have good parents. god I wish that were me #OK RANT OVER IM DONE BEING VULNERABLE

[ha--eul]

.

#what am i even fucking doing man #just trying to scrape by everyday with no goal just oh this is only until x but there is no fucking x #im trying to at least deal with the depression of it all but i dont have any money left i dont have any support all i have is an indefinite #wait until something anything lets up and idk what to even do anymore #i feel so fucking shit all the time... nothing i do helps it just seems to make it all worse #i cant even kms cos i love my bf and my friends too much... #and i don't want to be that to my niece and nephew.... just some 'auntie' they dont remember who offed 'herself' cos shit got hard #im gonna have to ask for money again but idk who to even ask i hate it i feel like everyon resents me for it already but what else can i do #the bank is just gonna keep charging me if i dont #i cant believe i even feel this way but i wish i could just get bad enough to stay in hospital or psych ward..im just so tired of trying to #manage all this shit #anyway guess ill get high what else is there

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

so hi everyone, my name is suco, mexican nb teacher dude poor fuck you know just a guy 🖖🏽🙂 uh idk why I feel like so fucking awkward as if i hadnt done this before. but ummm i really don't wanna ask but i got to i just am not getting out solo or receiving any help really, i got a shitty weekend i had to disconnect and uh im. not getting into it but i got stuck with some really huge bills and umm they're not even mine but yes cause family and i guess common interests in not dying from unemployment and uh systemic bullshit and then i have had minor bullshit happen to me too like just as a cherry on top so uh just too much it became too much like just bullshit after bullshit but it's just money man fuck so i am begging like im. at ends wit here and im. tired all the damn time

i am left to pay around 1100 dlls to like be even with tomorrow jk like the 4th of may so any, like i mean truly, any aid is appreciated really and reblogs to as ever help a whole lot tysm for any help you can give fr 🙏🏽😊🔫

the p*ypal. link 🫶🏽💕

0/1100

#el suco #d #thanks and sorry