#im literally so obsessed with this photo ahhh

[diordeer]

౨ৎ FALSE GOD

“we might just get away with it, the altar is my hips, even if it's a false god. we'd still worship this love” - taylor swift (smau)

contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader, where they both play in the false god music video

description: kind of obsessed with the band ‘sorry’ rn which is crazy bc its totally not my kind of music

requested by: anon!

Liked by gracieabrams, blakelively and others

taylorswift dont miss false god, coming out tonight 12AM EST

View all comments.

user1 I already love it… the colour scheme!!

user2 ok but WHO is in it because i know for a fact that isn’t taylor swifts hair

blakelively cant wait!! 🩷

user3 WE’D STILL WORSHIP THIS LOVEE

user4 i dont think i will be able to handle this

user5 whooos hands are thessee 👀

↳ user6 ikrr 🤭

gracieabrams ahhh this is so excitinggg!!

user7 i can already feel the vision

comments:

user1 CHARLIE AND YN CHARLIE AND YN CHARLIE AND YN

↳ user2 THEY ARE SO PERFECT

user3 taylor NEVER misses!

user4 this is changing lives

↳ user2 not only is it changing lives, its bringing people back from the dead!!

user5 the SECOND i saw charlie i dropped to my KNEES

↳ user4 on my knees for Charlie AND yn, literally a sexuality nightmare

↳ user5 SERIOUSLY

user6 how do i make this mv my personality

↳ user7 my exact thoughts

user8 yn looks GORGEOUS in this literally ethereal

↳ user7 she makes me wonder things about myself i never thought i would

user9 worshipping this mv

Liked by taylorswift, iamcharliebushnell and others

yn.ln go watch false god… RN!

tagged iamcharliebushnell, taylorswift

View all comments.

user1 if u havent already rewatched it atleast thirteen times what are you doing with ur life

↳ yn.ln i vouch to this

user2 taylor is so cute!

user3 u were MAJESTIC in this

iamcharliebushnell had so much fun with uu

↳ yn.ln ur the besssttt!!! Cant wait to see u again soon!!!

user5 charlie and yn have such good on screen chemistry i actually cant get over it

↳ user3 BEGGING they r like that irl together

↳ user5 IMAGINE IF THEY WERE DATING

dior.n.goodjohn i feel like there should be context to the last pic

↳ yn.ln it was a live reaction of me finding out i had to make out with charlie 🤢🤢

↳ iamcharliebushnell oh because it was SOO horrible?

↳ user4 WHAT DO U MEAN CHARLIE

↳ yn.ln WOW WOW WOW NOT NECESSARY

↳ user6 i see a little smile in that photo 🤨

↳ user7 u cant say theres nothing going on between them

Liked by yn.ln, dior.n.goodjohn and others

iamcharliebushnell had the best time working on this music video with everyone!!

tagged yn.ln, taylorswift

View all comments.

user1 him in the last photo… LAWD HAVE MERCCYYY

↳ user5 OMG IKRRR

↳ yn.ln its so the shirt

↳ user1 u agree then? 🤨🤨

↳ iamcharliebushnell guess i should wear it more then

walker.scobell you were great!

↳ iamcharliebushnell this seems very passive aggressive

user2 can we talk ab the outfits in this tho?! Like so so gorgeous

↳ user7 PREACH! THE DRESSES?! THE SHIRTS?!

user3 working with “everyone”… we all know hes talking about working with yn

↳ yn.ln im just so amazing and loveable🤷‍♀️

user4 tell me theres nothing going on between them… I DARE

dior.n.goodjohn i cant believe YOU get to be in a taylor swift music video

↳ iamcharliebushnell i cant tell if this is a compliment or not

↳ yn.ln just take it as a compliment babe, dont question it 🥰

↳ user6 BABE?!

taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r @highfidelities

#charlie bushnell x reader #luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #smau #social media au #aesthetic #charlie bushnell #in the know #x reader #false god #taylor swift

[kindestofkings]

photographer era [2]

my lovelies this is a long one so get yourself a cuppa and hopefully enjoy!

inhalerdublin

liked by hshq and others

inhalerdublin A huge honour to be bringing our show to @officialslanecastle this summer to support the one and only @harrystyles. We should definitely shower for this one X

See you there.

view all 1,598 comments

inhalerfan1 man this is so cool

yourusername WOOO ill get the boas !! @joshjenkinson_ @bobbyskeetz @elijahhewson @ryanmcmahon_15

bobbyskeetz oh lets maybe not do that

yourusername damn my small indie band aren't that small anymore

inhalerfan2 such a mood lol

yourusername posted on their story:

elijahhewson posted on their story:

yourusername posted on their story:

yourusername

liked by evehewson and others

yourusername these lads are about to SLAY Slane castle !!

📸 are all me baby ;))

inhalerfan1 AHH they were so so great

inhalerfan2 oh come on look at that first pic of eli, if thats not love I dont know what is !

inhalerfan3 they are making it hard to not ship em inhalerfan4 that your honour is two oblivious people IN LOVE (liked by bobbyskeetz)

inhalerdublin

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

inhalerdublin We’ll never be able to fully recover from the experience of playing Slane Castle yesterday. Thank you to @harrystyles for having us open for him in such a legendary place. And to every one of you who sang our songs back to us.

See you in November Ireland x

📸 @lewevans and @yourusername

view all 2,032 comments

lewevans some gig!

thescriptofficial Scenes !!!!

inhaler2 inhalerry photo when? (30 likes )

inhaler1 @username you take the best pics of them please please go on tour with them!!

(liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_)

inhaler2 will ONE of you close the deal , for the sake of your fans !! joshjenkinson_ @elijahhewson for the fans.... inhalerfan3 so unserious you forget they just played SLANE

harrystyles, anthonypham and lloydddddddddddddddd followed you!

yourusername

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername photos of THE harry styles that I took... me cause I met harry styles over the weekend

view all 1,000 comments

ryanmcmahon_15 your supposed to be our photographer

bobbyskeetz welcome home cheater

elijahhewson is one lead singer not enough for you ??

yourusername ..... yourusername you start dancing like that THEN we'll talk elijahhewson 💔💔

lloyddddddddddddddddd coming for my job but the pics are so good ill let it slide

yourusername yeah im obsessed with you and your employer please hire me <33 yourusername i can boot scoot like a pro (liked by harrystyles and hshq)

elijahhewson

liked by yourusername and others

elijahhewson was a good weekend I'd say

yourusername wow yes well done that caption reaffirmed how cool you are !!

yourusername YOU JUST PLAYED SLANE YOU CAN BE HYPED evehewson such a loser

joshjenkinson_ did you do it for the fans ??

ryanmcmahon_15 👀👀 bobbyskeetz 👀👀 yourusername he did it for the fans FINALLY

inhalerfanupdates

inhalerfanupdates photos of eli and @ yourusername have been leaked over the last few days .... are we still saying they're just friends?

view all 50 comments

inhaler1 if I didnt think they were in love before I sure do now

inhaler2 literal evidence of my parents in love <33 inhalerfan3 for real I feel so passionately about these strangers

yourusername

liked by evehewson and others

yourusername slow down more like .. go down/ soft sound/ midnight/ car lights ....

my idiot (lovable) friends are now my employers cause im joining them on tour in europe ahhh, a professional photographer some may say

bobbyskeetz war is fucking over we got ya

ryanmcmahon_15 about time!! gonna be lethal

lewevans ohh yeah cannot wait to see you in action!

(liked by elijahhewson,bobbyskeetz, ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_)

yourusername too kind <33

yourusername posted on their story:

liked by elijahhewson

trumanblack just followed you!

authors note: ahhh part 2 which will probs flop, shes a long one! hope y'all enjoyed, please please enlighten me on your thoughts <33

#inhaler band #elijah hewson imagine #inhaler dublin #elijah hewson fanfic #elijah hewson x reader #elijah hewson #fake instagram #fake insta post

[diorsluv]

casual , part 9

“ i have anger issues ”

series m. list previous chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by jackhughes, edwards.73, and 154,238 others

yourusername hughes-a-palooza ⁉️

tagged: lhughes_06, jackhughes, _quinnhughes

view all comments

username58 WE NEED WEEKLY HUGHES A PALOOZA POSTS

→ yourusername idk about weekly bae..

→ username47 at least monthly please 😭😭 yourusername

colecaufield quinn?!?!?!

→ _quinnhughes oh god

→ yourusername LMFAOOO

→ trevorzegras more blackmail 😈

_quinnhughes mom didn’t let you and luke sit together on planes for a reason

→ yourusername i accidentally spill coffee on him once and then all of a sudden i’m banned from sitting next to him 😔

→ lhughes_06 it was not an accident.

→ yourusername YES IT WAS??

→ jackhughes rosie i watched you PICK THE CUP UP and pour it on his lap

→ yourusername I LIE ABOUT A TON OF SHIT BUT I NEVER DID THAT????

→ _quinnhughes wtf no she just separated you because you were annoying as hell

→ lhughes_06 oh

→ yourusername erm…

username32 STOP the toy story costumes are too adorable

username77 BABY QUINN

username91 omg i need to see all the baby photo albums right now

adamfantilli so when were you gonna tell me you’ve been cosplaying since you were 3

→ yourusername it’s called dressing up for halloween 😐😐

→ adamfantilli which is technically cosplaying

→ luca.fantilli bro why are you so obsessed with cosplaying

→ rutgermcgroarty do you have something you wanna tell us adam???

→ adamfantilli 🤐

→ g.brindley4 is that why i found a red and white wig in your closet the other day??

→ yourusername MY HERO COSPLAY?? 😭

→ markestapa todoroki cosplay is insane

vivianliu ADORABLE ADORABLEEE

→ yourusername 🫶

edwards.73 the costumes r cute

→ yourusername you seem super thrilled!!!!

→ edwards.73 cuz they’re cute but you’re cuter

→ yourusername oh 😨

→ markestapa this is quite public if i do say so myself

→ lhughes_06 🤢🤢

→ mackie.samo i actually threw up reading this

→ edwards.73 mackie you’re quite literally sick right now

username85 i want my kids to be like this

username13 jim n ellen got us with the good pics ‼️

_alexturcotte did you and jack always match costumes??

→ yourusername our mom switched it every year but jack was the best costume twin 😔😔

→ _quinnhughes okay our lorax and onceler costume was good though

→ yourusername …….no!

→ colecaufield who was the lorax???

→ yourusername take a wild guess 😑

→ _quinnhughes you lost rock paper scissors fair and square yourusername

username68 BABY HUGHES PICS ALERT 🚨🚨🚨

dylanduke25 i like how you and quinn NEVER have pics together

→ yourusername i have yet to find a picture of only us in an old photo

username49 WOODY AND JESSIE AHHH

rutgermcgroarty when will you post the pics of us 😔

→ yourusername rut sweetie they’re my BROTHERS i have to post them occasionally

→ yourusername and also i just posted us???

→ rutgermcgroarty you have an entire album of us.

→ yourusername i have one for vivi too and i barely post me and her 😰😰

→ rutgermcgroarty SIX. HUNDRED. PHOTOS.

→ mackie.samo 600????

→ rutgermcgroarty 694 to be exact 😒

→ markestapa SO BASICALLY 700?!?!?!?!

→ colecaufield what happened to the other boyfriend

→ dylanduke25 yk rosie if i didn’t know who your not-boyfriend is, i would think it was rut

→ rutgermcgroarty ..duker that’s not a good thing

→ dylanduke25 i know

username62 i will be dressing my children up in toy story costumes thank you.

markestapa i’ve never heard him scream in agony so loudly before

→ yourusername wait what??? what happened to him

→ markestapa you and your little “best friend”

→ yourusername WE’RE JUST BEST FRIENDS THO

→ rutgermcgroarty yeah that’s all there is

yourusername

liked by _alexturcotte, luca.fantilli, and 97,255 others

yourusername went on a cooking rampage tn 🫢

view all comments

edwards.73 that food looks pretty good im not gonna lie

→ yourusername yeah this random guy made it for me

→ edwards.73 random???

→ yourusername mhm it was so weird.. he had the key to my apartment and everything

→ edwards.73 man i think that’s pretty unsafe rosie

→ yourusername it’s okay tho i thought he was cute so i let him stay ☺️

→ edwards.73 oh 😳

luca.fantilli LET HER COOK 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

→ yourusername aaaaaand you’re blocked

→ markestapa LET HER COOK 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

→ rutgermcgroarty LET HER COOK 😝😝😝😝😝😝

→ dylanduke25 LET HER COOK 😈😈😈😈😈😈

→ mackie.samo LET HER COOK 😼😼😼😼😼😼

→ yourusername you’re all HORRIBLE

→ luca.fantilli 😘

→ markestapa 😘😘

→ rutgermcgroarty 😘😘😘

→ dylanduke25 😘😘😘😘

→ mackie.samo 😘😘😘😘😘

trevorzegras goddamn big back lemme have some

→ yourusername ⁉️⁉️⁉️

→ jackhughes u just got clipped bro

→ _quinnhughes 📸

username75 is that… HIM??

username90 bae stop actin like you don’t know we know it’s ethan

username23 AWW cooking date so cute

_alexturcotte oh are those brownies for me 😁

→ yourusername you n trev r always trying to steal my food bro 😒😒

→ _alexturcotte what can i say ur a good cook

→ yourusername U CALLED MY PASTA SHIT

username6 stop the plating is so gourmet

colecaufield you and luke’s gf are like the same person

→ yourusername LUKE??? GF???? WHENNNNN?????? lhughes_06

→ lhughes_06 thanks a lot cole

→ yourusername EXPLAIN

→ jackhughes you know her veeeeeery well

→ yourusername VIVIAN?!?!?!

→ vivianliu oh god no 😭😭

username44 cole’s stirring up the family drama

username19 damnn those cookies r looking good girl

→ yourusername i tried to perfect my recipe 😈

rutgermcgroarty name drop the guy rn

→ yourusername dude ur acting like ur the one in the pics 🙄🙄

→ rutgermcgroarty who said i wasnt

→ yourusername i did.

→ lhughes_06 is this supposed to be a tactic to confuse everyone

→ rutgermcgroarty we’ll never know 🤫

mackie.samo when was the last time you willingly ate pizza

→ yourusername tonight 😐

→ mackie.samo because he made you do it……… right??

→ yourusername NO he just wanted to do it so i did

adamfantilli wtf rosie i just looked at the boys gc and hes literally obsessed with you

→ yourusername um 😃

→ adamfantilli NOT LIKE THAT

→ adamfantilli but he’s just being a big pussy rn

→ yourusername that’s what they’re all saying 🙄🙄

→ edwards.73 DUDE you gotta stop leaking the gc convos

→ luca.fantilli fr it’s unacceptable

→ yourusername stfu luca u sent me screenshots like two days ago

→ rutgermcgroarty TRAITOR luca.fantilli

→ yourusername and u just gave me ur phone to scroll through rutgermcgroarty

→ mackie.samo as the spokesperson i’d like to say we’re kicking u all out

→ adamfantilli NO PLEASE

→ rutgermcgroarty WE’LL DO ANYTHING

→ luca.fantilli WAIT PLEASE FORGIVE US

_quinnhughes so as your older brother it’s my job to steal your food

→ yourusername 🫤

→ _quinnhughes and we’re playing the wings tomorrow so i will be stopping by and stealing half the stuff in your fridge

→ yourusername thanks for the warning asshole

→ _quinnhughes any time u little shit

→ jackhughes hey that was my nickname for her 😞

→ lhughes_06 i thought i was the little shit????

→ vivianliu how did you guys manage to go from posting each other to arguing over who was the little shit 😭😭

username7 forearms 😵‍💫😵‍💫

liked by yourusername

username30 get urself a man who will have cooking dates with u 🙌

lhughes_06 u make enough food to feed the entire family

→ yourusername mom taught me well 🤗

→ lhughes_06 but u literally never fed me when we lived together??

→ yourusername yes. i. did.

→ jackhughes lukey says u “NEVERRRR” fed him

→ yourusername HOW DO U THINK HE GOT SO FUCKING TALL

→ _quinnhughes mom and dads genes

→ yourusername bc i’ve been feeding him HALF of my food every time he walked into the damn room

→ yourusername SINCE WE WERE 14

→ jackhughes ur not wrong

→ yourusername no shit

username13 girlll im tryna cook like u

username9 cutiessss 💕

username27 babe ima need u to hard launch alreadyyy

vivianliu rosie.

→ yourusername vivi.

→ vivianliu i know you cook and bake when you’re stressed or anxious

→ yourusername whatttt no

→ vivianliu is it about him 🤨

→ yourusername no!

→ vivianliu mmmmmkay

notes ) she’s a bit of a short one BUT HERES TO THE STARS’ SATURDAY NIGHT WIN AND THE WIN FROM TN ‼️ the stress was fucking insane and my heart was BEATING but we did it 🙏 a celebratory chapter if you will

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

#ethan edwards #ethan edwards fic #ethan edwards fanfic #ethan edwards x y/n #ethan edwards x reader #quinn hughes #jack hughes #trevor zegras #cole caufield #alex turcotte #luke hughes #mark estapa #dylan duke #mackie samoskevich #adam fantilli #luca fantilli #rutger mcgroarty

[kim-woonhak]

• - hmm let's see :D ~

xiaojun vs jeno

nct vs p1harmony

beatbox vs doom du doom

glitch mode vs venom

aHHH all the hard hitters straight out of the gate

xiaojun vs jeno adskdflsjdfjjjj okay this is purely based on my jeno brainrot for the past couple weeks even when i saw xiaojun's Praew magazine photos a few days ago jeno immediately just got my attention again lmao he's been soooo busy recently (running around my head LOL) ever since i saw him again at kcon LA and then smtown seoul + tokyo into promoting villain with key and then the dream concert footage these past two days and now he's on his way to ny fucking fashion week i've just been continuously devastated by him.... there is nobody else i can afford to think about right now </3

nct vs p1harmony omfg NOOOO MY PIWON BABIES :((( i was literally just rewatching a lot of their tiktoks a few hours ago i love them so much :((((((( but also sdjfaisefsfjjj after kcon i realized i just... love being an nctzen LMAO even if this is one of the most unhinged fanbases ive ever seen :') part of the reason why im not on the bird app lmao but yeah i love the neos and i love my nct hoe anthems and microwave noise music and endless amount of content and drama and they've even got me obsessed w fucking lime green... 🤢💚🌱

beatbox vs doom du doom THIS IS MY RHYTHM (DOOM DOOM) THIS IS MY SONG!!! omg i was looking back at my top songs of first half of 2022 gifset and realized none of them r group title tracks and i swear i thought beatbox would be the first one to finally break that trend (they'll probably still make my list for second half of 2022) bUT WHEN I HEARD DOOM DU DOOM I WAS INSTANTLY OBSESSSEDDD like everything from intak's opening adlibs that i have memorized to jongseob's rap part to the chorus choreo which is so cool it's one of my all time fave choreos of this year and the fact that each chorus has a different choreo because there's also soul's dance break version and the final chorus version and i love the styling in the music video especially what they were wearing in the boxing ring w the black white n neon lime fave fave FAVE also the giANT FLAGS were so pretty and i love that intak got to wave one on stage during their promotions it made the ending pose look so cool ugh yeah i literally have listened to this song every day since it came out... okay but also beatbox iS SUCH A GREAT SONG also obsessed w the colorful styling and the boom chicka boom chicka chicka boom boom choreo part w the hands and knees to shoulder isolations is so satisfying and also jaemin's solo footwork part and i think mark just really shines in that song it's so hip hop groovy and catchy it was stuck in my head for months i swearrrrr

glitch mode vs venom HUHHHHHHHH okay so i feel like i was slightly disappointed in the chorus build up for both songs, but venom definitely has a better one tho the second chorus is just soooo much better to me than the first one with the dramatic slowdown during changbin's part into the gradual speed up thru lix/hyunjin/hans raps w the iconic skz sirens going off in the background into geomijul drop to the point where i wish there was a way that the first geomijul chorus drop couldve been just as good which is so nitpicky but the track video was so good and i love the choreo for it when i saw it on tour <3 but anyways glitch mode is a hard one to beat hehe i love the very nct intro w the robot voices and the styling for the music video and the glitching choreo is so fun and also jeno (the fan chant is so cute with the echoed "nightmare" and "ok" haha) n mark's rap parts (lol i will never forget that light speed is "299792 [km] per second" now !!) and yeah i have the chorus memorized now just as a product of listening to it too often i think at this point i'm just personally very attached to this song after seeing it performed live twice too <3

> make me choose <

#ask game #anon #shdfisSFHHJHEJJHHHH ive just been in full nctzen mode recently i cant i cant i CANT #ALSO GLITCH MODE ERA WAS PINK JENO ERA LIKE THATS AN AUTO WIN FOR GLITCH MODE :')))))) #okay but DOOM DU DOOM >>>>>>>>> #anyways sorry these r just horrid run on sentences

[furbygone]

Behold. A baby.

#furby #furblr #im literally so obsessed with this photo ahhh #i did a little photoshoot w my furb bc i took it out on the town w my friends! :) #it was scary but people were only nice to me! #many people asked its name :)

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Eccentricity [Chapter 5: I’ve Lived The Life And Paid For Every Crime]

Series Summary: Joe Mazzello is a nice guy with a weird family. A VERY weird family. They have a secret, and you have a choice to make. Potentially a better love story than Twilight.

Chapter Title Is A Lyric From: Some Kind Of Disaster by All Time Low.

Chapter Warnings: Language, references to drugs and violence.

Other Chapters (And All My Writing) Available: HERE

Tagging: @queen-turtle-boiii​​​​ @bramblesforbreakfast​​​​​ @writerxinthedark​ @maggieroseevans​​​​​ @culturefiendtrashqueen​​​​​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​​​​​ @escabell​​​​​ @im-an-adult-ish​​​​​ @someforeigntragedy​​​​​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​​​​​​​​​ @deacyblues​​​​​ ​ @tensecondvacation​​​​​​ @brianssixpence​​​​​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @some-major-ishues​ @haileymorelikestupid​ @loveandbeloved29​

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! 💜

Easy Questions, Evasive Answers

“So it was nothing,” Archer said, glancing up from where he was tinkering around beneath the hood of my 1999 Honda Accord, checking hoses and belts and dipsticks. “This is pathetic, by the way. That you can’t change your own windshield wiper fluid. Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow.”

“I never had my own car in Phoenix!” I objected around a mouthful of a Starbucks pumpkin muffin, my first of the season. And that was true: Renee and I couldn’t afford one. “I didn’t have to learn about car things!”

“No, it’s great, I love it, I have a customer for life.”

“It was totally nothing,” I told him. Meaning the photograph in the newspaper article from 1979. Meaning my paranoia surrounding beautiful, brooding, certifiably lethal Benjamin Lee.

Not Lee, I reminded myself. Benjamin August Hardy, born November 3rd 1893.

“Was it really?” Archer asked, skeptical.

“Uhhh, you were the one who was making fun of me for thinking he might be a time traveler. Or a bigfoot.” Or a vampire.

“Yeah, okay, true...” He let the hood of the Honda fall shut with a bang, then wiped the muddy streaks of motor oil from his hands with a stained rag. “But you were freaked out. Like super freaked out.”

“I was, yeah. But it wasn’t him in the photo. I took another look, there were freckles and, uh, like, uh, some other things that didn’t match up.”

“Huh.” Archer watched me with an expression I couldn’t read. “I didn’t notice that.”

“Ben laughed about it. Probably thinks I’m an idiot. A stalker and an idiot.”

Archer smirked slyly. “He must not have held it against you too much. I’ve never seen that guy laugh in my life.”

I took a moody bite of my muffin, rolled my eyes, feigned shallow schoolgirl angst. “Trust me, he’s not my biggest fan.”

“Ohhhh, and this bothers you?” Archer sauntered over and stole a crumbling hunk out of the pumpkin muffin. “Does someone have a little crush on the gorgeous, grouchiest Lee?”

“Definitely not.” I sipped my chai latte, contemplative, debating telling him more.

“Uh oh. There’s something else, I can see it. Spill the tea, you walking college-chick-who’s-obsessed-with-fall stereotype.”

“I’m so excited! I’m going to get to see changing leaves this year!” Cacti are majestic, ancient, intrepid, and they remind me of home; but they never change. They’re like desert earth that way, like the ocean. Like vampires, actually.

“We’ll have to do all the Instagram-worthy stuff. Pumpkin patches. Hay mazes. Apple picking...you can even bring that Ben guy if you want to. If he promises not to murder me with his mysterious time-travelling demon powers.”

Oh, kid, you have no idea. “So...I am kind of into a Lee guy. But it’s not Ben.”

Archer gasped, inhaled pumpkin muffin morsels, bent over as he hacked them out of his lungs. “Who?!” he rasped, scandalized, and then coughed again.

I couldn’t help but smile as his name spilled out: “Joe.”

“Which one is that? The Middle Eastern Men’s Vogue model one?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “No, not Rami. He has a girlfriend, by the way.” And has for the past half a century.

Archer wiggled his eyebrows. “Just because there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.”

“Oh my god, please never say that phrase again.”

“Joe is the...” He closed his eyes as he drummed his fingers against the metal workbench, trying to remember.

“The Italian one,” I finished for him.

“Ahhh. The annoying one.”

“He is not annoying! Why do people keep saying he’s annoying?! He’s hilarious, and sweet, and lowkey wicked smart, and, and, and...”

Archer whistled, grinning, his dark eyes sparkling. “Damn, girl. You do like him. You really like him.”

I sighed in defeat. “Okay. I really, really like him.”

“Like him as in would swipe right on Tinder, or like him as in you want to get married and honeymoon in Hawaii and have twelve pasty, angular babies?”

“Oh wow.” And for the first time, I was confronted with the singular enigma that was a future with Joe. Vampires had relationships with other vampires, obviously, even marriages; but that didn’t mean the same rules applied to humans. Did he like me? Could he like me? What would that even look like? How would it end? And it would have to end, of course, eventually. Unless somehow I stopped aging too. “More than just a right swipe. We’ll see about the twelve kids.”

“Just make sure he wraps it before he taps it. I’m too young to be an uncle.”

“Stop,” I pleaded, gulping down my latte, averting my gaze across Archer’s small garage filled with customers’ vehicles, pretending not to be intrigued and yearning and petrified. I couldn’t imagine hooking up with someone as faultless and—presumably—experienced as Joe and being anything but a disappointment. I’ve never hooked up with anyone. At all. Ever.

“What?” he asked, concerned, thieving another piece of my pumpkin muffin. Powdered sugar dusted his fingers like the snow I’ve only seen two or three times in my life.

“Nothing. I just really wish you went to Calawah too.”

“And give up all this easy money from clueless suburbs people like you?” Archer beamed, wily and proud and affectionate. “Not a fucking chance.”

No More Sad Spaghetti

Joe gawked in horror, chomping noisily on his Big League Chew bubblegum, as I unwrapped the peanut butter sandwich I’d packed for lunch. It was mostly cloudy in the early September sky overhead, but he was still wearing sunglasses. He had traded in his ubiquitous U Chicago apparel for a Cubs t-shirt. Squirrels scurried through the bigleaf maple trees that dotted the campus, snatching up acorns with tiny clawed paws, wriggling whiskered noses in our direction.

“What’s your problem?” I asked, taking a bite. “It’s not sad spaghetti.”

He blew a small pink bubble, then popped it with his teeth. “Yeah, but it’s...like...mangled.”

“It got trapped between my textbooks!” I protested. Admittedly, the accordion-shaped peanut butter sandwich—my vegetarian alternative to fishstick Thursday—kind of sucked.

“You can’t eat that. Oh my god. It’s making me so sad. Give it to the squirrels.” Joe pulled out his iPhone. “What’s your preferred pizza topping?”

“I can’t tell you,” I replied, tossing my sandwich towards the nearest tree. A hoard of squirrels immediately descended upon it and proceeded to battle for dominance, emitting shrill, peanut-butter-crazed shrieks.

His brow furrowed. “Why can’t you tell me?”

“Because you might not like me anymore.”

“Why would I not like you because of pizza...?” And then he knew. “Oh no, oh god, please don’t say pineapple.”

“I’m a pineapple pizza person.”

“Baby Swan,” Joe said, deadly serious, pressing his palms together. “That is straight up sacrilegious. You can’t put tropical fruit on a pizza. You realize I’m Italian, like an actual Italian. I’m so Italian I’ve killed other Italians for being the wrong kind of Italian. That’s how Italian I am.”

“I feel like maybe I shouldn’t socialize with literal mobsters. It’s unsavory.”

“Settle down, I’m ordering the half-pineapple pizza, you freaking barbarian.”

I watched Joe as he tapped his thumbs against the screen, humming to himself, amused, perpetually buoyant. And I couldn’t picture him as a monster, as a killer: pulling triggers, slitting throats, digging blades into soft vulnerable love handles, feeling for the mortal puncture of a lung or kidney. I asked him, my voice quiet, hesitant, almost lost in the autumn wind: “Did you actually hurt people?”

“Nah. I didn’t have the stomach for it, even back then. I was on the deal-making side of things. The business side. I was a people person, a smooth talker, astronomically charming.”

I smiled, mischievous. “That’s difficult to imagine.”

“Okay, so no cheesy breadsticks for you.”

“I’m sorry, mob guy. Please order the breadsticks. You’re so charming I can’t stand it. My jeans are unzipping all by themselves.”

He raised an eyebrow and grinned. “So you’ll sacrifice your dignity for breadsticks. Good to know.” He finished typing and laid his iPhone on the grass. “Alright, next question.”

“Does your hair grow?” Joe’s hair—I couldn’t help but notice—seemed longer than it was the day I met him a week and a half ago, disorderly and auburn-tinted, ruffling in the breeze.

“It does, yeah. Hair and nails still grow. So you have to shave, but you can’t get razor burn. And any nicks close right up.”

“Very cool. How often do you need to eat? You know...actually eat.”

“It varies, but generally twice a week.”

“And what kind of animal has the tastiest blood? Besides...well...” I gestured towards myself. “The upright two-legged kind with opposable thumbs and a partiality for pineapple pizza.”

He blew another bubble, then leaned in towards me. And I realized, for the first time, that he had his own inherent, exclusive, totally Bath-And-Body-Works-worthy scent as well; Dr. Gwilym Lee was sandalwood and campfires and log cabins, Mercy was roses and vanilla...and Joe was pine trees, peppermint, cold night air, like all of that eternally youthful magic of Christmas Eve sieved into a bottle. I popped the sheer pink bubble with the cap of my blue pen. Joe asked: “Do humans like chocolate or vanilla ice cream? Coffee or tea? Baseball or something hella lame?”

“Depends on the human.”

“Exactly. Same deal for vampires. I prefer bears, especially grizzlies. Lucy and Mercy like deer, elk, moose, animals like that. Ones with hooves. Weirdly, Rami’s favorite is crocodile, I think because it was the first thing he ever tried in Egypt. He doesn’t get it very often, but has been known to buy them on the black market on occasion. Scarlett likes mountain lions. Also domestic cats, but you didn’t hear that from me. Gwil is a wolf guy, but he won’t kill the endangered kinds. Such a gentleman.”

“How about Ben?”

“Ben’s still coming around to the whole eating animals thing. I don’t think he has a favorite yet.”

Joe isn’t a killer, and he never was; I could believe that. But Ben... “Why is he so different than the rest of you?”

“That’s...kind of a long story,” Joe replied carefully.

“It wouldn’t be such a long story if people stopped talking about how it’s a long story and actually told it to me.”

He flashed a grin, revealing white canine teeth filed into points; they were subtle, yes, but they were there. Fangs. I envisioned pressing a fingerprint against them and feeling the flesh split in two, the blood dripping down onto his tongue like Washington rain. And unlike Joe’s skin, mine wouldn’t knit back together on its own. “But then I wouldn’t have the pleasure of tormenting you with the prospect of incredibly juicy yet confidential information!”

I rolled my eyes, sipped my can of Diet Coke, returned my attention to our lunch plans. “So garlic doesn’t repel you. That part of the lore is completely made up.”

“Yup. Thank god. Eternal life would be worthless without pizza.”

“Can you do drugs? Get drunk?”

“We can’t overdose, but we can get the effects of anything we consume. It’s not a good habit to get into though. If you’re nodding on heroin for like four days at a time, it’s pretty easy for some other vampire to find and murder you.”

“So a vampire can be killed by another vampire.”

“Absolutely. Next question.”

I consulted my mental list. “Do you sleep?”

“Yeah. Well, kind of. We nap for a few hours a day.”

“What happens if you don’t?”

“We get bitchy. Really bitchy. We essentially turn into Ben.”

I laughed, chewing absentmindedly on the end of my pen. “So that’s his problem. He hasn’t napped in a century. Now it all makes sense.”

“Something like that,” Joe said. “You gonna come over tonight?”

“I don’t know. I’m supposed to present The Walruses And Me tomorrow and I still haven’t started the book.”

“What do you know, I can tell you all about The Walruses And Me!”

“Seriously? You’ve read it?”

“No, but I can enthusiastically narrate the Wikipedia article to you while you pet Mercy’s alpacas.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea.”

“Terrible for your grade in Marine Mammals. Good for your development as an interesting and happy human.”

“Nice try, but I’m already both of those things.”

Joe reached out suddenly, jarringly, and ran the back of his hand across my cheek. My favorite Lee, I thought, thoroughly transfixed but trying to hide it. Oh no. “Interesting, definitely. But I have this gnawing, distressing suspicion that you’re still working on the happy part.”

“I miss the desert,” I confessed. That wasn’t quite all of the problem, but it was accurate: I missed the heat, the sun, the parched prehistoric air I had always called home. Although I was beginning to find reasons to like Forks, Charlie and Archer and the promise of a Pacific Northwestern autumn; and then one big reason in particular. A very old, pale, chatty, Italian reason.

“A bit of a quandary for a future marine biologist,” he replied gently, perhaps apprehensively.

“I always figured I’d live somewhere like San Diego or Los Angeles or Galveston. Someplace on the ocean, but also sunny and hot and with palm trees. The best of both worlds. But you couldn’t go there with me, could you?”

Oh no.

Oh NO.

Oh fuck, this is definitely a crushing-on-Lee-boys zone.

Joe stared at me through his sunglasses, chomping on his Big League Chew, the corners of his mouth turned up and etching lines like parentheses into his face, pleased and nodding slowly and triumphant somehow. Then he struck out his hand again, this time with his pinky raised like a flagpole. “No more pathetic depressing lunches.”

“You got it. No more sad spaghetti. No more sad peanut butter sandwiches. You have my solemn, human vow.”

He smiled as his pinky entwined with mine. “No more sad anything.”

“So this vampire thing sounds like a pretty sweet gig. No dying, no consequences for a hellacious diet or wild condomless orgies, literal superpowers, perfect hair...why doesn’t everyone get to live that way?”

He shrugged; and there was an unfamiliar, meditative tension in his face. Almost sorrow. “It’s not all pizza and orgies and heroin. We have weaknesses too.”

“Like what?”

“Hey, look!” Joe piped cheerfully, twisting around towards the parking lot. “I think our GrubHub guy is here.”

Bad Blood

I was definitely regretting that fourth slice of pineapple pizza as I waddled into Chemistry, navigating sluggishly around the hulking frat boys and giggling sorority girls and mousy bookish types who lugged around colossal backpacks that were always threatening to knock an unsuspecting passerby off their feet at each unthinking turn. But while I was arriving in the classroom—physically, anyway; emotionally I was standing in an empty field somewhere screaming I cannot be falling in love with a hundred-year-old mobster vampire!! into the void—Ben was a countercurrent darting through the crowds and towards the hallway door.

“Where are you rushing off to, old guy?” I asked him. “Bingo? To renew your AARP membership? To walk vigorously around the inside of a mall?”

Ben responded in that deep, low, humorless voice. “They’re doing some kind of blood typing experiment today. I probably shouldn’t be around for that.”

“Oh.” I glanced over at Professor Belvin, who was indeed hunched over the table at the front of the classroom and laying out rows of Q-tips and rectangular paper cards and alcohol swabs and bottles of clear liquid, whistling what sounded like Time Of The Season.

Ben sighed irritably, rubbing his crinkled forehead. “I already used up all my absences. I’m gonna have to make up a compelling last-minute tragedy. Tell Professor Belvin my grandma died or something.”

“I mean, technically, she did at some point.”

“Ugh,” Ben replied, not consoled at all.

“Wait, I got this.”

I gripped my belly, sank into the nearest chair, and groaned dramatically. It really didn’t require all that much acting. Ben watched with huge green eyes, confounded.

“Miss Swan!” Professor Belvin cried, rushing over. He was wearing khaki pants, a white shirt, and suspenders and a matching bowtie patterned with bubbling multicolored test tubes. Belvin had been Charlie’s classmate from kindergarten through high school, and still palled around with him over Bud Lights and low-quality nachos on bowling league nights. Bowling was, evidently, the sport of choice for middle-aged Forks dads. Also for Welsh vampire pseudo-dads born in the 1400s.

I whimpered in reply.

“Are you alright, Miss Swan?” Professor Belvin asked worriedly. A few students had begun to congregate around the scene. I felt a pang of genuine nausea as perspiration beaded at my temples. You better appreciate this, Mr. Hardy.

“I’m okay,” I said, in my most pained and martyrish voice. “I don’t want to miss...today’s lesson...it looks so fascinating...but I didn’t wash my kale thoroughly last night and then I had a salad for dinner and now I might have food poisoning.”

“You poor thing!” Belvin exclaimed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about class. You can just answer some textbook questions or something, no problem. Please go get checked out to make sure you’re alright.”

“Could someone...maybe...help me get to the campus clinic...?” My eyes listed towards Ben. “Maybe...my lab partner?”

“That’s a good idea.” Professor Belvin turned to Ben. “Mr. Lee, would you be willing to escort Miss Swan to the clinic? You can do an alternative assignment as well. If you don’t mind missing the blood typing lab.”

“I’d be delighted to help,” Ben responded, still puzzled. I offered him my hand, and Ben took it, grimacing as he led me out into the hallway. As soon as we were alone, he dropped my hand and opened up several feet of space between us.

“Thanks so much, Miss Swan, you are a lifesaver,” I said, imitating his morose, rumbling British accent. “Oh, you’re very welcome, Ben. You can repay me in basic courteous conversation and Starbucks gift cards and by maybe not killing me.”

“So you’re totally fine?” Ben asked flatly.                

“Of course. Nobody with taste eats raw kale.”

Frowning, frustrated, he started puffing on his vape pen. “You need to stop doing nice things for me. It’s extremely disorienting.”

“This may be difficult for you to come to terms with, but you, Ben Hardy, are worth being the recipient of nice things.”                          

“No, you still don’t get it,” he snapped, grabbing my wrist, spinning me around to face him in the empty hallway. “That’s all I’ve ever done. Kill people like you.”

The Fire

“Who is the cutest little alpaca I’ve ever seen?!” I cooed in a squeaky falsetto, scratching her wooly brown chin. “Who’s going to come home and live with me and Charlie forever?!”

“That’s illegal, ma’am.” Joe was watching me, arms crossed over his Chicago Cubs t-shirt, smiling wistfully.

“It is not!”

“It actually is,” Rami added. He was lying on the grass and gazing up into the roiling, grey, late-afternoon clouds with his fingers laced behind his black hair. None of the Lees were wearing sunglasses now. “A house has to be zoned as farmland to have alpacas, which ours is. Yours, tragically, is not.”

“What are you, a lawyer?” I shot back.

Rami grinned. “I was once. And I will be again, in approximately...let me count...five years.”

“That’s what you want to do with your boundless time and energy? Be a corporate shill?”

Joe cackled. “He tried that already. It lasted about five minutes.”

“Manhattan in the 1980s,” Rami reminisced dreamily. “Hundred-hour workweeks. Cocaine everywhere. What a time to be alive. And I hardly ever left the office, so the sunlight thing wasn’t a problem.”

“Okay, so you’re not in it for the Maseratis or the drugs...”

“I’m going to be an immigration attorney,” Rami told me. “Help refugees apply for asylum to come to the United States. Arabic-speaking refugees, in particular.”

“Wow. I stand corrected. That’s wonderful, Rami. I now feel like a total tool for only aspiring to save sea turtles.” But it made sense, of course. What would any good person spend eternity doing? Making the world just a tiny bit better. I glanced at Joe, teasing him. “And you just study how to get rich, huh?”

“I’m a venture capitalist,” he said brightly. “I invest in small businesses, counsel them, encourage them, connect them with other people in the industry, help them grow. And I don’t need the money, so I take a practically microscopic equity stake. I’m basically a professional charitable donor.”

“And you get to put all of those charming mob-guy skills to use.”

Joe winked. “Exactly.”

“Doesn’t it get old?” I asked both of them. “Being college students?”

Rami shrugged. “No really. The world changes, schools of thought evolve, our own interests fluctuate. Every few decades we circle back and go for another round, fresh degrees, maybe new professions entirely. You learn something new every time.”  

“And I’ve been waiting for all my old professors to die so I could go back to U Chicago for fifty years!” Joe shouted. “I’m fucking pumped!”

“But...don’t you already know everything...?”

Joe chuckled. “We’re vampires, Baby Swan, we’re not prodigies. We’re sharper than the average person, sure. But it still takes effort to learn. And we all have things we suck at.”

“Like not being obnoxious,” Rami said, nodding to Joe.

“Like not minding our own fucking business,” Joe hurled back.

“I cannot control the fact that I’m a literal mind reader—”

“You boys behave yourselves,” Mercy called in her relaxed, drawling Southern accent, swinging a basket of carrots and zucchinis and cabbages that she’d dug out of her garden, wearing a long flowing yellow dress and her hair tied up in a scarf. She plodded over in her bare feet, handed me a few carrots, then pointed to the chocolate-colored alpaca I was petting. “That lady there is Athens. And the black and white one by Joe is Augusta. Then there’s Norcross, and Alpharetta, and Savannah...and that real chubby grey one heading into the barn is Marietta.”

“I adore them,” I replied, beaming. Mercy had sheep and pigs and a couple of cows too, all ambling contently around the emerald green field as the first threads of fiery, rust-hued sunset were lighting up the horizon.

“We used to have ducks, too,” Mercy mused. “But they disappeared recently...”

Rami passed Joe a knowing smirk. Joe mouthed back menacingly: Do not.

“Hey mom,” Rami piped.

Joe jabbed an index finger at him. “No, don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare—”

“Joe ate the ducks.”

“You bitch!” Joe cried.

“Oh, Joseph,” Mercy sighed mournfully, lifting a brush out of her basket and dragging it down Athens’ fuzzy back.

“I’m sorry! It was one time! I was weak!”

“I’m not angry, sweetheart,” Mercy said. “I’m just disappointed.”

“Mom, that’s worse!”

Rami climbed to his feet and swatted grass and leaves off his cardigan sweater. “Alright folks. My work here is done. Peace out.”

“Oh no, you don’t get to do a hit and run like that, hey, Rami, hey, hey, come back here!”

Joe trotted after him, shouting a litany of insults, as Rami laughed hysterically and careened into the house. Lucy and Gwil were in the kitchen baking chocolate chip cookies; Scarlett was in the garage changing the brakes on Ben’s Vantage; Ben was noticeably absent from the Lee household and presumably out hunting. It was remarkably easy to picture his fingers closing around bloodied flesh, a wolf’s or a bear’s or an elk’s, lowering his fangs to a pulsing jugular.

“So you’re really into this whole farming thing,” I said to Mercy, looking out over the field rimmed by towering western hemlock trees. I didn’t know exactly how many acres of land the Lees owned, but it was a lot. Mercy adopted rescue animals, donated vegetables from the garden to local food pantries, and occasionally rented out the barn as a wedding venue.

“I’ve always loved it. I had a farm, you know. Before I met Gwil.”

Before she died.

“I didn’t know that,” I murmured, wanting to learn more, afraid to ask, never meaning to pry or offend. “I remember you mentioned the Civil War, and a barn...being...well...being trapped in it. When it burned down.”

Mercy nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, that’s the polite version of the story, isn’t it?” She set down her basket in the tall grass, tugged distractedly at a dark strand of hair that had escaped her scarf, stared glassily out into the sunset muted with cloud cover as Athens moseyed away. “Do you want to know what happened? I’ll tell you if you do. But I don’t want to upset you, dear.”

My voice was barely a whisper. “I’d like to know.”

“We had a little farm out in the middle of nowhere,” Mercy explained. “My husband Arthur and I.”

And it felt so outlandish to hear her say those words. Husband. She had a husband before Gwil. She had a whole life before this one.

“He had a bullet in one leg and a limp from a hunting accident when he was a boy, so he was never called up to enlist. It was a rich man’s war, but it was the poor men they sent to die in it. That’s how it always goes, I expect. And how it always will. We had two daughters, twelve and fifteen. I won’t tell you their names. Don’t take that personally, dear. I haven’t spoken their names in a hundred and fifty years.”

She turned her murky eyes—like homemade bread crust or coffee or the wood walls of a log cabin—to me.

“When the Union Army came through, they were beasts. Men like that...men who have been killing and looting and burning their way across hundreds of miles...all they want to do is get blood on their hands. That’s all they remember how to do. So that’s exactly what they did. They slaughtered our cattle for meat. They burned the house down. And then they took me and my girls, and they...they...well, you know what they did. What men do when they’re monsters. And when Arthur tried to stop them, they shot him in the chest and spit mouthfuls of chewing tobacco on him as he bled out in the dirt. Called him a coward and a deserter. Told him everything they were planning to do to me and my girls. And when they were done doing all of those things, they locked the three of us in the barn and set it ablaze. I was the only one still alive when Gwilym got there. And believe me, I didn’t want to be.”

“I’m so sorry,” I breathed, my throat burning for Mercy, for her family, for this divinely kind and benign and tender woman.

She patted my cheek fondly. “It’s alright, sweetheart. It’s not your fault. I got a second chance. Gwilym gave me a second chance. That’s what he does, you know. He finds broken people, fixes them, loves them fiercely. He gave me forever. Two more daughters. And three sons.”

Three sons, I thought. Rami and Joe and Ben. She counted Ben.

“Does someone have to be dying?” I asked her softly. “You know. To become like you.”

“No, honey. That’s just how Gwil does things.”

“But...why? What’s the possible downside? Why not change anyone who wants it?” Why not change someone like me?

And Mercy peered over at me, contemplative, curious, like tiptoeing gingerly over rotted floorboards, like weaving through a minefield. Like she was trying to figure out what I’d already been told.

“Hey Baby Swan,” Joe said, startling me. I whirled to see him waiting with a patient smile and his hands buried in his pockets. “Come on. I want to show you something.”

He led me upstairs to Gwil’s 1960s-style office, where Dr. Lee had cleaned and stitched the tiny gash in my forehead after my misadventure with Ben in the woods outside Calawah University, where the wall above the sturdy oak desk was adorned with a massive painting filled with gorgeous, unfamiliar, inhuman faces. Joe took a deep breath, and then he began.

“This,” he announced, introducing the painting, “is the vampire version of the mob. They can trace their existence back to before the Roman Empire. They find people who they think have potential, have talents. They turn them. And then they offer them a hundred-year contract. You sign it, or they murder you. When your term is up, you get to decide whether to renew or leave. But almost no one ever leaves. After a century of taking orders and guarding and killing, what else do you know how to do?” He pointed to the terrifying woman with long white hair and red eyes. “That’s Liesl. She’s literally Satan, only blonder. The chick with the tattoos is Akari. She can meet a human and tell what powers they’ll have once they’re changed. Very useful, obviously. The dude who looks like Idris Elba is Cato, and he’s actually an okay guy, he’s the one currently assigned to keep tabs on Gwil’s coven...”

I soaked the names in like rain into dark, lush Washington earth as Joe relayed them to me, strange and beautiful names: Aruna, Phelan, Morana, Adair, Zora, Araminta, Honora, Victorien, Rigel, Sahel.

“Who’s that?” I asked, gesturing to the young man standing at the center of the painting, the one with black hair and eyes so light and luminous a brown they were almost gold and a sinister, unmistakable magnetism.

“Very good question,” Joe complimented. “That’s their Al Capone. That’s Larkin.”

“And what’s his vampire superpower?” He has to have one. I know he does.

“How do I even put that into words? It’s more than charisma. It’s slightly less than mind reading. He can see through people, what they want most, what they fear. And he can make them do things.”

I gazed into those omniscient glowing eyes, feeling myself getting caught there, feeling some primal dread swelling in the capillary beds of my heart and lungs and bone marrow. “Joe, I’m thoroughly enjoying this captivating backstory, really, but...why are you telling me all of this now?”

“Because you asked why Ben is so different than the rest of us. This is why.” Joe waved broadly at the painting, at the closest thing his world had to a mafia, to unrepentant killers, to actual demons. “This is where he came from.”

[purplesurveys]

1024

What would you say is your favorite food? Sushi. < Ahhh, this is a good one. My favorite is down to a tie: it’s either chicken curry or burgers.

What color eyes does the person you like / love have? Are they pretty? Dark brown. I’m not too sure what the second question is referring to but yeah, she and her eyes are both pretty.

What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Hi-5, omg. That show was my life in preschool and I always watched the 12 NN replay as soon as I got back home from school, back when I was still on a half-day sched. I was so hooked I remember having legit tantrums before starting Grade 1 because grade school meant full days in school and thus having to miss out on the show entirely.

Do you like Mexican food or any other foreign foods? For sure. All my favorites are Asian (Indian, Japanese, Indonesian, Chinese, etc.) but I also enjoy Italian, Mexican, Greek etc cuisines. I generally haven’t tried African cuisines but I really, really want to.

What color is the keyboard you are currently using? The keys are black with white lettering.

Do you own any of those ‘chunky’ and cute rings? Nope, not my style.

What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I saw my dad cooking up something deep-fried; it was like his own version of katsu or something, or maybe it’s fish fillet? I’m not too sure what it is yet but I’m excited and will probably eat lots of it as I skipped all my meals and have only been running on coffee and vape all day - not good.

Do you own an iPod or MP3 player? If so, when did you get it? Technically I still do. Haven’t used it since high school. I got it when I was 10 back in ‘08; I was envious of the kids in school who had iPods, so I asked my dad to buy me one even though I wasn’t super into music at the time. Not the best kid in the world.

When was the last time someone took your picture? Last Saturday when my package came. Apparently online deliveries now require your photo to be taken upon receiving your package and I think it’s for the seller to keep track of their transactions. I’m not a big fan of the new procedure, but it’s whatevs.

Would you rather write a report or type it on a computer? Type. 

What color was the last jacket or hoodie you wore? Gray.

Do you receive more compliments or insults on a daily basis? Neither, really. I haven’t been talking to people a lot; and when I do it’s for work, where I receive neither compliments nor insults.

Who is the lead actress / actor from your absolute favorite movie? Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney, or Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

Can you recite the alphabet backward? [continued from last night] Slowly, but I’m sure I can finish it.

Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? We don’t do hotdogs with chili here. I generally don’t see chili much where I live and I wouldn’t call it a common dish.

Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? At first I thought it was, but I’m slowly realizing that it isn’t.

What would you say is your favorite cereal, if you even like it? Cookie Crisp is the only one I like. I don’t have cereal often.

When was the last time you went on vacation? Where was it? It was a quick weekend getaway to Tagaytay and then Cavite, if it counts.

How many states have you been to in your lifetime? Zero.

Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Yep, especially with Andi and Angela.

Have you ever been an outcast at your school or anywhere else? I was definitely one in early grade school, and again in Grade 6 when both my closest friends migrated in a span of six months, and I spent nearly all my lunch periods alone. Looking back on it, I’m really glad I powered through and made it here because I truly wasn’t happy at the time.

Do you own any dresses? If so, what colors are they? I have lots of sundresses and little black dresses because I was into those for a very long time at one point. Some of them are black, obviously, but I also have dresses in blue, maroon, and olive.

Would you say you drink more pop / soda than you should? I never drink soda as I’ve always felt like I spend more time complaining about how drinking it feels like burning my tongue and throat than actually enjoying it.

Would you rather have orange juice or milk with your breakfast? Water.

How many different colors has your bedroom been painted? Just one. The walls have been white ever since we moved here 12 years ago.

Do you cuss? If so, do you ever cuss in front of your parents? I’ll slip in front of them sometimes but I never get in trouble for it anymore.

Would you ever tell your mom about the things you’ve done sexually? Our humor together can be raunchy sometimes but I don’t think I’d ever do this. I dunno if she wants to hear I’ve had sex with a girl either.

Is there anyone out there who can make you cry very easily? Yes.

What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? *In the last week, hearing about the typhoon’s effects in other cities didn’t feel good. This entire country is literally only getting by with donations from the private sector because the government isn’t doing shit for cities and families who got severely affected by the typhoon; it’s almost depressing to hear and read about.

Have you ever been in a car wreck? I’ve been in minor car accidents but it would be too much to call any of them car wrecks. They had all just been tiny bumps or thuds.

Do you have your ears pierced? If not, what do you have pierced? Yes, my mom had my earlobes pierced when I was an infant. I don’t plan on getting any more new ones as I’m not really into piercings.

Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Nope.

What is your biggest pet peeve? When people reach out first via text/IM then even if I get back to them in 5–10 seconds, it takes them a long time to get back to me. It’s especially annoying if they classify it as urgent, I drop everything to reply quickly, then they end up disappearing. Like why?

Do a lot of people understand you completely? Who does exactly? No, I like keeping a wall up. 

Would you say you’re really good at cooking and baking things? Haha no. But it’s something I want to be skilled in, definitely. I’d love to be able to make the food I usually just thirst over on the internet. I’m taking baby steps, like figuring out how to make certain sandwiches, but I have a long way to go before I can consider myself any good.

How is the weather outside right this second? It’s been a little cloudy this morning but it might start to get fair seeing how I’m beginning to see the sky turn blue. I’m just hoping there won’t be too much sun, period.

Do you have a lot of trees around your house? What about buildings? No buildings as I live in a gated village. We have a number of trees around, but I wouldn’t call it ‘a lot.’

Would you say either one of your parents are 'pack-rats?’ No. I have that title, and I believe I inherited it from my great-grandmother who was a bit of a pack rat herself, as I’ve been told.

Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? Kinda. I don’t associate with one of my uncles because he has a terrible drinking issue that he never got to permanently fix. Whenever I see him at family gatherings he just smells like stale gin or whatever it is he drinks, and it just ruins the essence of family reunions for me. As recent as Christmas Day last year he drove drunk and crashed into a car with an entire family, but as always his ass got lucky because 1) no one in the family got hurt, and 2) said family let go of the lawsuit they were planning to file against him.

Have you ever seen That 70’s Show? Do you watch it regularly? I tried watching the first episode but genuinely could not find it entertaining for the life of me. Sorry, Mila :(

If you could choose, what decade would you rather live in? I never really think about revisiting decades - they’re already behind, so what’s the point? As bad as the 2020s have been looking, I’m okay with staying here.

How often would you say you get sick? Once a year at most.

Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? I used to wish they would die, but I don’t feel that way anymore.

Has anyone ever called you a socio-path before? I don’t think so.

When was the last time you watched a movie in theaters? December.

Have you ever moved to a completely different state before? We’ve moved to different regions before.

Do you mind it when surveys ask you really personal questions? No. Isn’t that part of the point of surveys?

When was the last time you told someone you love them? Thursday or Friday I think, when Andi said it to me first and I said it back. I wasn’t having a good day and they were just looking out.

Which one would you like more: kiss on cheek / kiss on neck? Depends on my mood. Right now a kiss on the cheek sounds nice.

Does it bother you when people steal your stuff on MySpace? This never happened to me because I had Myspace for such a short time and I never caught it at its peak. Also, how do people steal your stuff over there? That’s pretty intriguing lmao

Do you have freckles? Do you like / dislike them? I don’t have any.

Who would you say is the best actor / or actress in your opinion? My biased ass would rally for Kate Winslet all the way, but some other great ones for me are Toni Collette, Emma Stone, Jodie Foster, and Natalie Portman.

How many times have you been drunk in your life? Many.

What would you do if the last person you kissed said they hated you? Be confused and ask them to give me a few concrete reasons. I don’t think too highly of myself, but I know I’ve never done anything to make me deserving of hate, especially with regard to us.

Do you ever think you might be pregnant? No, it has never been a worry of mine.

When was the last time you acted really immature? The weekend.

Do you enjoy watching comedies or horror movies more? Horror. I never watch comedies and the only subtype of it that I watch is romcom.

As a child, did you ever have an imaginary friend? Yeah but it lasted all of five minutes until I got bored with the concept.

Does anyone call you baby? Who would that be? No.

Can you rely on one or more people to take up for you? I have no idea what take up means. If this also means ‘stand up for me,’ then yeah I can.

#survey #surveys

[harmoniouspixels]

Baines MMBC Episode 6 Replies

Episode 7′s will be a little later!

com-pool-sory?

I can’t believe I missed a golden opportunity for this kind of witty episode title @cafesimming replied to your photoset “Veronica: Hey Miranda, I got the results back and they say you’re the...”

veronica already just sounds SO done with this bullshit

Two of her contestants are dead and her moderator was killed by a homicidal robot. Not how she was planning for this to go down @blurrypxls replied to your photo “Regina: –and that’s why I can’t party in Ibiza anymore. Thanks for...”

Ooooo shit

Regina’s just calling them like she sees ‘em sevenleafsimblr replied to your photoset “Justice: [panting] Beth: [cheering] Regina: Listen, you just can’t...”

HOLY SHIT

Regina has such a beef with Justice fsr? I pan over and then *BAM* it’s a fight cafesimming replied to your photoset “Monokuma: Is everyone here? Looks like it. Your numbers are dwindling,...”

im gonna fite monokuma tbh???

If you do take precautions to not end up like Kat West

cafesimming replied to your photoset  “Regina: Hey, what the f*** is that bullshit? One of us straight up...”

i cannot believe he wpuld disresoect my daughter in this way

He’s an asshole

cafesimming replied to your photoset

mood

Me since it’s finals time sevenleafsimblr replied to your photo “Mollie: I can’t wait to kick your ass in this challenge, Red. Tsuneo:...”

i will swim over when you’re holding your breath, literally kick your ass, and make you lose the challenge

Intense battle strategy, Mollie @borderlinedub replied to your photo “Mollie: I can’t wait to kick your ass in this challenge, Red. Tsuneo:...”

Mollie you're. kind of obsessed with Tsuneo's ass? I know you're pansexual homoromantic according to my records but do try and stay on task

She’s having some fun while doing it @plumboblures replied to your photo “Monokuma: Regina is our winner! Our next match up is Mollie and...”

yESSSSS IT'S HAPPENING

This was my mood while writing this scene tbh borderlinedub replied to your photo “Regina: [heavy sigh] I wonder if you can still tan in this season....”

Regina: the knife on my stomach shows where I keep my fucks

Honestly this is a mood

@futurecarrie replied to your photo

go son! *waves supporting flag*

futurecarrie replied to your photoset “Scaetius: [loud gasp] Elliott: Ha! My lungs of steel have paid off....”

YAS SON!

I don’t have anything witty to say. Just appreciating this outpour of support cafesimming replied to your photo “Miranda: Looks like it’s our turn. Justice: About time! Maybe the pool...”

t doesnt really work like that, hon

They’re clinging to some hope that it does futurecarrie replied to your photoset “Monokuma: I know I’ve said this a lot today, but get to the challenge...”

Go son part two! And don't question Monokuma *shakes head* best not to

If you do, you get the spears sevenleafsimblr replied to your photo “Regina: This is why you don’t mess with an island girl! Regina will...”

you were doing so okay, tsuneo

He did his best

sevenleafsimblr replied to your photoset

congratulations on the celebrityhood

Why was this of all things not affected by hiding headline effects? @ Staff fix this @melien replied to your photo “Veronica: Congrats on the victory, Marnie! I see you were going for...”

Marnie is on fire go girl

🔥 🔥 🔥 sevenleafsimblr replied to your photo “Veronica: Congrats on making it so far into the challenge, Regina!...”

dirt eaters shall reign supreme

It’s full of nutrients I’ve heard melien replied to your photo “Veronica: Congrats on making it so far into the challenge, Regina!...”

I love how she gives everyone nicknames

It’s great tbh cafesimming replied to your photo “I’m sorry, I’ll have to pass.” “Well that’s alright. There’s a bunch...”

your sound effects never fail to confuse and intrigue

Thank you! I got this one from https://thatdavidhopkins.com/that-blog/2009/07/22/the-sound-of-one-knife-stabbing this time around melien replied to your photo “I’m sorry, I’ll have to pass.” “Well that’s alright. There’s a bunch...”

They only wanted to make some tea :(

I know :(

sevenleafsimblr replied to your post “Baines MMBC Episode 6 End Notes”

GOD VIDEOS JACK UP THE SCORE SO MUCH i always did a regular interaction behind the scenes and reset the score back to what that interaction gave after doing the video

Ahhh okay! That makes sense now. But yeah, wtf w/ the videos

#toxoplasmajuice #cafesimming #blurrypxls #melien #borderlinedub #futurecarrie #baines mmbc #baines mmbc episode 6: compulsory challenge #replies #text

[diordeer]

౨ৎ SOMEONE LIKE YOU

“i've been searchin' a long time for someone exactly like you, i’ve been travelin' all around the world waitin' for you to come through” - van morrison (smau)

contains: charlie bushnell x fem!reader, where they play in a movie adaptation of ‘better than the movies’ also pls ignore how i spelt ‘preparation’ wrong

description: i cant lie, before i saw this request i hadnt read the book but my friend had and she loved it so i was like ok lets impulse buy it… let me tell u i finished it so quick im OBSESSED

requested by: @taysbeauty

Liked by iamcharliebushnell, momonatamada and others

yn.ln in the winter in the icy outdoor pool when u jumped in first i went in too!!

tagged iamcharliebushnell

user1 THE DREAM CASTING OMG

user2 “I WANTED WES” 😖😖😖

↳ user3 she gets it

user4 only one more week until this god sent movie comes out 🫡

↳ user5 i think it should be a law to watch every romcom mentioned before watching this in the cinema

↳ yn.ln how can i make this an actual law

iamcharliebushnell im with u even if it makes me blue 🥶🥶

user7 we all know the soundtrack for this movie is gonna HIT

↳ user8 imagine if taylor swift released new years day (taylors version) for it!

↳ user9 i honestly doubt it but i WISH

momonatamada ahhh i cant wait!!

user6 me patiently waiting for the scene when wes reads over livs shoulder ☺️

↳ user11 the tension 😫

user10 i will now never watch a romcom if it doesnt have charlie and yn as the love interests

yn.ln just posted on their story

Seen by dior.n.goodjohn, sabrinacarpenter and others

Liked by yn.ln, walker.scobell and others

iamcharliebushnell how you swoon me like no other!

tagged yn.ln

View all comments.

user1 can we talk ab how charlie probs took that photo of yn 🩷

user2 IS THAT MR FITZ PERVERT

↳ yn.ln no its michael

user3 them captioning their posts with lyrics from liz and wes’ playlist is KILLING ME

user4 guys i just saw the film wtf it was everything i imagined and MORE

↳ user5 any scene with yn and charlie made me physically kick my legs and giggle in the cinema

yn.ln ooomg do iiii 🤭🤭

↳ iamcharliebushnell i wouldnt say swoon

↳ yn.ln yet u did 🤨

user6 can we talk about their on AND off chemistry pls

↳ user7 THEY ARE LITERALLY IRL WES AND LIZ

dior.n.goodjohn charlie in a romcom?!

↳ iamcharliebushnell u got something against that? 😧🤨

↳ dior.n.goodjohn never!!

user8 dream man playing a dream man

walker.scobell finally he plays a good guy 🙄

↳ iamcharliebushnell i betrayed everyone ONE TIME, get over it

user9 the way better than the movies has almost every trope in the books is insane

Liked by iamcharliebushnell, kiernanshipka and others

yn.ln hold on to the memories, they will hold onto you!!!!!!

tagged iamcharliebushnell

View all comments.

iamcharliebushnell did u actually just mug me off in the first pic while u look gorgeous in the last one?! absolute bias

↳ yn.ln u look great wdym 😃 plus! i think i got a pretty good photo of u in my last post

↳ iamcharliebushnell mhmm

user1 casually flicking past may jailer?!

↳ yn.ln im posing so cool in the photo, the second charlie took the photo i SCRAMBLED to the till to buy it

↳ iamcharliebushnell can confirm!!

user2 omg their latest interview together i cant 😣🩷

↳ user3 the way charlie looks at yn!!!!!!!

↳ user5 the things i would do for a relationship like theirs

↳ user4 lets be real if anyone played a relationship like liz and wes’ in a movie… you would 100% fall in love

↳ user6 guys they havent even said anything about being together!! and even if they are let them be

↳ user5 OH MY GOD its not that big of a deal get over it user6

kiernanshipka just saw the film, you were incredible!!

↳ yn.ln OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU

taglist: @lostinhisworld @lizziesfirstwife @auttumnsayshi @silkenthusiasts @taygrls @kidkrowk @kanojous @niktwazny303 @m00ng4z3r @highfidelities

#charlie bushnell x reader #luke castellan x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #smau #social media au #aesthetic #charlie bushnell #in the know #x reader #better than the movies #wes bennett

[kawaiiphancake]

~taggy thing yay~

I was tagged by the lovely @latte-howell tysm beannn 💕💕 Rules: always post the rules, do all 11 questions by the tagger, write 11 of your own questions, and tag 11 people to answer said questions!
 1. Do you play any video games? I'm not a huge gamer, i watch youtubers play games instead hah, but my favourite game is Undertale. I found out about it from dnp, but it's just got such good details, plot lines and characters ahhh!! i love playing the different routes and exploring the world. toby fox is a genius :)) 2. Have you ever met anyone relatively famous or well known? The most famous person i have ever met is Martyn, also known as phil's brother, and he was super lovely!! i love his accent oml. i mean, i didn't expect to see him so i got jumpscared and was super awkward but our photo together with my friend @smol-anime-phan133 is something I'll treasure forever, even if i look like a potato haha. 3. What is your favorite thing about Summer? Not the beaches, tanning or holidays, my favourite thing about Summer is, along with it, comes a huge break from school yaaaay!!!! 4. What is your aesthetic? Fairy lights will always be my weakness. drape them along a wall or in a wedding tent and i will s c r e a m 5. Favourite Song right now? AhhHHh this is always changing ?? one song i'll always adore is forest by twenty one pilots, but the one im really loving right now is drown by Tyler Joseph, especially the edited version that has rain in the background it's v calming for me. it's not my favourite song ever, but it is my recommendation rn :)) 6. Favourite Dan and Phil video? Man, these questions are getting harder and harder !! umm... im gonna list a couple bc i cannot choose. for Dan's videos ive always loved his "psycho thoughts" for some reason and all the reasons why Dan's a fail, they're just so relatable hah. as well as all the internet support groups...and the fetus videos like Pom bear massacre and AmazingDan... AHH SO MANY !! For phil, idk why but I've always laughed at "LOST AT THE MALL ;-;" and any other story time or casual video he's done, like when he took quizzes about himself and explained how his plants have all died. idk why that one was so funny, actually. he literally just makes me smile at anything, that little bean why ??? as for both of them, all the ditl's, baking videos, dan vs phil's or Tumblr tags and pinofs are the best, just to name a few bc seriously i love them all so much. the more i think about this the more i add so im just goNNA STOP SORRY 7. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Go back to sleep and procrastinate moving at all haha 8. Do you enjoy coffee or tea? I'm a tea kinda gal. give me green tea, iced tea, raspberry tea or peppermint, literally any tea i will savour it like my life depends on it, and im not even British lol !! 9. Favourite flower? Hmmm i don't really have a single favourite as it depends on the mood / occasion to which i'd pick. a simple flower i like are daisies, a fancy flower i like are carnations and roses whilst cherry blossoms are pretty good for overall aestheticness. 10. What is something that always makes you smile? Apart from dnp, watching twenty one pilots interviews / crack vids always make me laugh, i love tyler and josh so much and honestly they make me so happy, no matter what. especially Taco Bell saga, that's an instant mood booster. so thanks to them hah (also reading this back i realised most people would say something cheesy like my family / significant other / friends make me smile, but literally tøp was the first thing i thought of im sorry y'all make me smile too, tøp just is an escape from reality, y'know?) 11. What is the last thing you spent money on? I went to an arcade type thing and spent money on playing games and messing around in the PhotoBooth ahah. i mean, it wasn't a lot but it was something :)) Well there you go, there's my messy and indecisive answers for ya! My questions are: 1. Do you talk to yourself? 2. Favourite dog breed? 3. Recent YouTuber obsession? 4. Waffles, pancakes or bagels? 5. Favourite current fashion trend? 6. If you were a YouTuber (or are one!) what style vids would you (or do you) make? 7. What time did you wake up this morning? 8. Describe someone in your life that's important to you. 9. Thoughts on feminism ?? 10. Are you an introvert, extrovert or ambivert? 11. If you could meet 10 celebrities/idols in your lifetime, who would they be and why? Lastly, I tag: @philipandviolets @opinionated-internet @tru-oddball @starrystrangeplanet @poppyseedphan @this-is-not-a-forever-home @huphilpuffs @pepperminthowell @heck-yeah-fandoms @fandom-expert @phantastically-over-life (don't feel obliged to) and anyone else who wants to do it, it's fun :))

#tags yay