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floofiestboy · 1 month

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Official DC App’s Voiced Stories: Amuro Tooru

The official Detective Conan app offers a number of voiced stories - short conversations between characters - to its premium subscribers. I translated all thirteen stories that include Rei. (Three of these are in the Akai post.)

Other characters that appear in these stories are Conan (10), Akai (3), Heiji (2), Kazami (1), Ran (1), and Vermouth (1).

Table of Contents

Voiced Stories: Akai Shuuichi

Voiced Stories: Amuro Tooru

How Old Are You, Amuro-san? (安室さん何歳？)

Heiji: "But I gotta say, I ain't been back here at Poirot since the case..."

Heiji: "Yer deductions sure were somethin' back then! You sure ya ain't sharper than old man Kogoro?"

Amuro: "Certainly not... I still have a long way to go."

Heiji: "Speakin' of which, how old are ya?"

Amuro: "I'm at least a zodiac cycle older than you, I'd say."

Heiji: "What'd ya say?! Yer that much older than us?"

Amuro: "Us? Conan-kun is an elementary schooler, no?"

Conan: "T-That's right! I'm an elementary schooler! Heiji-niichan, what are you saying? Hahaha..."

Heiji: "Right, yeah yeah! Sorry, my bad! It's just, when I'm with this kid, I can't stop feelin' like Kudo's right by my side! Hahaha!

Amuro: "Is that so? Hahaha."

Conan: (exhales) "That could've been bad. Geez..."

Amuro's Cooking Class (安室料理教室)

Amuro: "Yes, now all you need to do is cut it in half..."

Heiji: "Boo-yah, we got it done! Man, I'm beat..."

Conan: "Thank you, Amuro-san!"

Amuro: "It was nothing. I'd be happy to help you with something like this whenever you'd like."

Heiji: "Nah, was a huge help! Ya saved us! It ain't like we woulda managed crap with just me and 'im."

Conan: "Man, I couldn't believe it when I saw your cucumber wasn't even cut all the way through..."

Heiji: "Hey! Says the guy who couldn't even shred the cabbage! Ya cut it inta squares!"

Amuro: "Now, now, calm down. But what made you want to make sandwiches all of a sudden?"

Heiji: "Ah, that's, well... it ain't real important..."

Amuro: "What is it?"

Heiji: "Mm, ah, it's just... Kazuha and them, they said they wanted ta eat yer sandwiches... so I wanted ta make it myself, y'see? Ta see what the hype's 'bout..."

Amuro: "Oh? So that's why you cooked for your girlfriend and her friends?"

Heiji: "Ah, nah nah nah, we ain't like that! It's just, um... she was just super naggy 'bout it, yeah?"

Amuro: "It's nothing to be embarrassed of. I think it's quite lovely! To cook for your girlfriend, even though you're bad at it!"

Heiji: "Nah nah nah, I-I'm tellin' ya, we ain't like that! Geez..."

Conan: "...Ha ha."

Kazami's Observant Eye (風見の観察眼)

Kazami: "...That concludes my report. Shall we bring him in?"

Furuya: "No, we'll let him swim a little longer. At this rate, they'll cut him off and escape scotfree."

Kazami: "Understood. In addition, erm. That is..."

Furuya: "What is it? How many times have I told you to report any news straight away? Particularly bad news."

Kazami: "Y-Yes, sir! But ah, this isn't a report, per se... I'm aware this is quite impertinent of me, but Furuya-san... would you consider taking a short nap after this? You've, ah, looked quite wan these past few days."

Furuya: "Ha, I've still got a long way to go if I have you worrying about me. I won't deny we have a modest amount of time until our next meeting. The weather is quite nice today. Shall we rest in a nearby park?"

Furuya: "Kazami. You're coming too!"

Kazami: "Furuya-san, I will accompany you!"

[...]

Furuya: "It's been quite a while since I've relaxed outside like this. You ought to r- oh, hm."

Kazami: "What is the mat- gargh!"

Furuya: "Hey, you guys... you need to look around you before you play catch! It can be really dangerous if you hit someone by accident! Like it was just now."

Kazami: "The ball is here."

Kazami: (sniffs) "Please be more careful next time."

Furuya: "You ought to be more aware of your surroundings as well. What happened to your observant eye that caught my poor physical condition?"

Kazami: "I can say nothing in my defense."

Furuya: "Well, I suppose it's fine. It makes me more excited to whip you into shape."

Kazami: "P-Please be gentle with me."

Mediating a Fight (喧嘩の仲裁)

Conan: "Ouch, I guess I've got a cut inside my mouth too..."

Amuro: "Hey there, Conan-kun. Oh? Why are you injured?"

Conan: "Amuro-san! Are you out shopping for Poirot?"

Amuro: "Yes, that's right. And as for you, what case did you poke your nose into this time?"

Conan: "I didn't really poke my nose into it... I more got dragged into it. Some of my classmates started arguing about cleaning duty, and it devolved into a physical fight."

Amuro: "I see. So your injuries are marks of valour from your role in mediating their fight."

Conan: "Eheheh. I'm sure you would've been smarter about stopping them."

Amuro: "Mm, I wonder about that. I'd say I'd be the one fighting and needing to be stopped."

Amuro: "If my opponent's taunting me into a fight, then I'd have to take them up on it- and I'd end up in a fist fight. Right?"

Conan: "Huh?"

Amuro: "Just kidding! More importantly, show me your injuries. Let's treat them."

What's on the Menu? (メニューは？)

Conan: "Huh? Amuro-san?"

Amuro: "Hey there, Conan-kun. Are you shopping as well?"

Conan: "Yeah, Ran-neechan asked me to. Does 'as well' mean that you're shopping too?"

Amuro: "Yes, we're running low on ingredients at Poirot. I'll be using these ingredients to-"

Conan: "Ah, wait! Lemme guess what you're gonna make! ...um, you've got carrots and celery....?"

Amuro: "Then you've got thirty seconds on the dot, with no hints! Now then, let's see how you do."

Conan: "Huh? Um... carrots and celery, carrots and celery... mm... a stew?"

Amuro: "Incorrect. Ten seconds left..."

Conan: "Urgh, just wait... you're stocking up, so you're not only using these ingredients..."

Amuro: "Sadly, you've run out of time."

Conan: "Whaaat?!"

Amuro: "The correct answer is curry! Was it too difficult for Sherlock Holmes, who only ever eats meals made for him by Mrs. Hudson?"

Conan: "Celery in curry? I can't believe you'd do that..."

Amuro: "Hahaha, it's not a rare recipe. You ought to look it up. And besides..."

Conan: "And besides?"

Amuro: "I'd like our customers to enjoy eating it. It's my favourite food, after all!"

The Trick to Making Ham Sandwiches (ハムサンド作りのコツ)

Conan: "Is it really okay for me to be in the kitchen?"

Amuro: "Certainly! I'd welcome you anytime! But did you like my ham sandwiches that much?"

Conan: "Yeah! Ran-neechan tried to make them the other day, but they ended up a little different from yours..."

Amuro: "Oh, Ran-san did?"

Conan: "I think she made them just like you taught me before, but..."

Amuro: "I see... she did apply olive oil to the ham?"

Conan: "Yeah! She said she did!"

Amuro: "And... when mixing the miso with the mayonnaise, did she keep it to just a dash?"

Conan: "Yeah! I think that was fine too!"

Amuro: "The only thing left is... did she heat the lettuce in lukewarm water?"

Conan: "Ah... I don't know. I guess I'll double-check with her!"

Amuro: "That sounds good! By heating it a little, it retains its crispiness for a while even after putting it in the sandwich."

Conan: "Right! Thank you, Amuro-san!"

Amuro: "I'd love to try some as well once she succeeds!"

A Perfectionist? (完璧主義者？)

Conan: "I'm home! Ran-neechan, what's for dinner toni- huh, Amuro-san?"

Amuro: "Welcome home, Conan-kun. Ran-san is at the supermarket. She said she ran out of the beef she needed for the gratin she was making tonight. I volunteered to look after the place while she was gone... I'm sure she'll be back soon."

Conan: "I-Is that so? Why are you at the detective agency, Amuro-san? Kogoro-no-ojisan has something to do tonight- he isn't here."

Amuro: "I'm here for you today, not Mouri-san. Did you forget this book at Poirot?"

Conan: "Ah, I forgot to put it back in my bag when I left! Thanks, Amuro-san! You're a big help!"

Amuro: "You're most welcome. It's important to you, yes? You need to be careful not to lose it."

Conan: "Yeah! You don't seem like the type to lose things, huh. It's like, you never show any weakness... have you ever made a mistake?"

Amuro: "I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist or anything, you know. Let me think... nothing in particular comes to mind. Though I certainly made plenty of mistakes as a child."

Amuro: "Well, now then, I still have work to do. So I'll be leaving now."

Conan: "Okay! See you at Poirot!"

Karaoke Contest (カラオケコンテスト)

Amuro: "Welcome, Conan-kun."

Conan: "Hi, Amuro-san. Huh? What's that poster?"

Amuro: "Ah, it's a poster for our shopping district's New Year's event."

Conan: "An event? What kind?"

Amuro: "It's a karaoke contest. There are some luxurious prizes prepared, so the owner and Azusa-san are both pumped about going for the win."

Amuro: "Oh, right. This is a good opportunity- why don't you enter as well, Conan-kun?"

Conan: "Huh? Ah, I-I'd rather not."

Amuro: "I do think you have a good sense of rhythm. Look, the prize for the elementary school division is an imitation Holmes set!"

Conan: "W-Wow... ah, are you not going to participate, Amuro-san?"

Amuro: "Oh, I'll be working at Poirot. I do plan to close a little early to cheer on the owner and Azusa-san though."

Conan: "I see. I think I might go cheer them on too, then."

Amuro: "Oh, please do."

Advice About Part-Timing (バイトの相談)

Ran: "Excuse me, Amuro-san... could I get your advice on something?"

Amuro: "Certainly, as there's no other customers right now. Is something the matter?"

Ran: "I'm actually thinking of starting a part-time job... Amuro-san, what do you think of your job?"

Amuro: "My job? It's quite fun! But why?"

Ran: "I wanted to go out with Sonoko somewhere..."

Amuro: "I see... well, I feel as though you could excel in any part-time job, Ran-san!"

Ran: "I-Is that so?"

Amuro: "You're cute, and smart as well, no? You're Mouri-sensei's daughter, after all!"

Ran: "I wouldn't go that far..."

Amuro: "And you can do karate too! You may just be stronger than me!"

Ran: "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!"

Amuro: "Ahahahaha! It's a joke! I apologize, I pushed too far..."

Ran: "Geez! Be serious here!"

Have a Walking Stick Ready Before You Fall (転ばぬ先の杖)

Amuro: "Geez... no matter how much news is aired about cyber-terrorism, people won't stop using simple passwords... I'm appalled at how little they care for security despite being a government research institute..."

Amuro: "Though well, someone like me shouldn't be saying this."

Amuro: "Now then, I suppose it's about time for me to head b- who's there?!"

Vermouth: "Good work, Bourbon... my, you're more laid back that I thought."

Amuro: "Vermouth? Our meeting isn't for an hour yet, no?"

Vermouth: "I can't say I mind meeting at a hotel restaurant, but I felt I'd appreciate a drive in your passenger seat from time to time..."

Amuro: "You disguised as a research assistant for that reason alone?"

Vermouth: "Ha... better safe than sorry." [said in English]

Amuro: "I see, you mean 'have a walking stick ready before you fall'... I'd like to tell that to the supervisors of this research institute's system."

T/N: 'Have a walking stick ready before you fall' is a Japanese idiom equivalent to 'Better safe than sorry.'

How to Make Ham Sandwiches (ハムサンドの作り方)

Who’s the Culprit? (犯人は？)

Let’s Go to the Scene! (現場へ行ってみよう！)

(Refer to Voiced Stories: Akai Shuuichi)

#detective conan #amuro tooru #kazami yuuya #my translations #furuya rei #edogawa conan #I might do more in the future if people want I guess but akam is what I cared about the most 🚶‍♂️#c: six going on sixteen #c: if only I could forget you...

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hareofhrair · 1 year

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Art from the most recent ask in its own post. Shafan has a run in with a clown.

story under the cut

HH: =oh i've had run ins with m=ore'n a few cl=owns, n=one of em pleasant.

HH: best =one was a sweep =or s=o back. i was cruisin this lil shindig a friend =of a friend was thr=owin

HH: m=ost everyb=ody there was a rusty, but tha thing ab=out thr=owin a g=o=od party is

HH: cl=owns will just sh=ow up

HH: they just manifest there =or s=omethin s=o=on as things really kick off

HH: like the way bleatbeasts just show up at metal c=oncerts

HH: anyway everyb=ody kn=ows y=ou thr=ow a big en=ough party yer runnin tha risk a cl=owns deciding ta crash it

HH: but generally speakin cl=owns aint subtle and when they sh=ow up ya kn=ow what's happenin

HH: s=o i'm at this party and havin a real g=o=od time

HH: maybe a lil drunker than I =ought ta be

HH: when i sp=ot this Big B=oy lurkin in a c=orner b=o=oth

HH: and yall kn=ow i like em big

HH: s=o i slide in and intr=oduce myself

HH: i feel it's imp=ortant ta menti=on here that the lightin in this place was n=ot s=o g=o=od

HH: and als=o my eyesight leaves a lil s=omethin ta be desired

HH: by which i mean im blind as tha pr=overbial flyin squeakbeast

HH: s=o between that and bein pretty sl=oshed i d=ont n=otice anythin suspici=ous ab=out this gentleman

HH: i start talkin ta tha fella, and he's a bit quiet, aint sayin much

HH: but that's fine i can run my m=outh en=ough fer tha b=oth a us, and i d=o

HH: lil while later, i get ta askin him if he w=ouldn't like ta walk me h=ome, if ya gather my meanin

HH: he says that s=ounds like fun, and we slip =out tha back a tha j=oint

HH: i'm hangin =off his arm, havin tr=ouble walkin straight, when I l=o=ok up an get my first g=o=od gander at tha guy under a streetlight

HH: and i see greasepaint, and a big =ole grin

HH: that'll s=ober a fella up p=owerful fast let me tell ya

HH: n=ow i mighta just g=one al=ong with tha guy and b=olted at tha first good excuse

HH: but apparently i was t=o=o drunk ta manage my facial expressi=ons, cus he sees h=ow i'm l=o=okin at him and his smile if anythin just gets wider.

HH: finally n=oticed, did ya? he says. that mean i cain't walk ya h=ome n=o m=ore? =oh well, tha =other way w=oulda been m=ore fun, but we can still have a g=o=od time.

HH: and he drags me =off int=o an alley and pulls o=ut a club, ready ta splatter me acr=oss tha pavement like a p=opped water bal=o=on

HH: but i tend ta babble when i'm scared, and all =of a sudden i say

HH: hell nah, y'all can't kill me like this, it ain't even funny!

HH: where's tha w=ordplay? tha creativity?

HH: yer just g=onna smash me with a club in an alleyway?

HH: where's tha fuckin craftsmanship? where's tha art?

HH: and that actually makes him st=op fer a minute

HH: and he just l=o=oks at me fer a bit, an then he says

HH: kn=ow what, yer right. Culls =ought ta be gl=ori=ous in tha sight a tha messiahs =or s=ome shit

HH: and i say hey ya kn=ow what w=ould be funny

HH: im a real fast runner, faster than hell

HH: and there's a train what comes thr=ough here right at sunrise

HH: let's say y=ou challenge me t=o a race with tha train

HH: and if I beat it, y=ou let me g=o

HH: he starts sayin nah i aint just lettin y=ou run =off i aint that dumb

HH: and i say =of c=ourse, that's the funniest part

HH: bef=ore the train c=omes, ya tie my feet t=o tha tracks!

HH: he says h=ot damn yer right that is fuckin funny

HH: gets right giggly imaginin me tryin ta run and gettin flattened like an old penny

HH: so we head =on =over t=o tha train tracks

HH: and i say wait h=old =on, we need s=ome supplies first

HH: supplies, he says?

HH: i say yeah well, we need r=ope =obvi=ously, and an umbrella

HH: he says, an umbrella?

HH: i say =o c=ourse an umbrella, i t=old ya tha train c=omes right at sunrise. ya d=ont want ta be standin there burnin in tha sun iffin tha train is late, d=o ya?

HH: and he says yer right yer right i d=ont care fer sunburns

HH: s=o he gets s=ome r=ope and a big black umbrella and we get =on tha tracks and he start's tyin my feet t=o tha tracks, but he's kinda strugglin because he's h=oldin tha umbrella at tha same time

HH: and i say hang o=n, ya can't tie it like that, it's g=onna slip right o=ff. here, let me sh=ow ya, i learned s=ome sailin kn=ots fr=om a c=obalt that never c=ome l=o=ose

HH: So i start sh=owin him h=ow ta d=o it, but he ain't gettin it, s=o i say here, i'll tie my =own feet, and y=ou watch and practice =on your =own feet.

HH: s=o he starts tyin his =own feet ta tha tracks, but he's still fumblin =on acc=ount =of h=oldin tha umbrella, s=o i say, ya need b=oth hands, here let me h=old that f=or ya

HH: and he says thanks and hands me the umbrella and g=oes back ta tyin his feet ta tha tracks.

HH: n=ow =of c=ourse ab=out that time tha sun starts ta c=ome up, and right =on time the train whistle s=ounds in tha distance

HH: and tha cl=own l=o=oks up

HH: by which p=oint i'm already ab=out half a bl=ock away, runnin like hell itself is =on my heels

HH: but i was still cl=ose en=ough ta hear that m=otherfucker laughin, laughin like ta bust a gut, right up till tha n=oise a tha train dr=owned him =out

#mun's art #shafan nishal #fantroll art #homestuck

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obsidiancreates · 11 months

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Icewild (Part 2)

(There should be a Read More link but if it doesn't show up tell me because that's been happening lately and I don't know why.)

The arrival of the newcomers is... interruptive, but not halting. There's still the matters of making sure the ogres don't turn on the humans, of tending to wounds, of having a new day.

Of breakfast.

Barnabos keeps Kremy in the corner of his vision as he works on the monkey bread. The lizardfolk clearly knows his way around a kitchen as he pulls a chef's hat out of a bag of holding, and then a little pencil which he uses to add curls to the ends of his mustache. Then he pulls out a strange belt of some kind, fastening it around his waist.

"Alright Gid. Just light me a little fire here and then hang around in case I need ya."

"Sure thing man." Gideon lights the little fire below the pot and then steps back, crossing his arms and keeping his own eye on Barnabos.

"Not the trusting sort there, Mr. LeCroux?" Barnabos asks. "No need for a bodyguard, as long as ye don't strike first."

"Who said anythin' about a bodyguard? I just like havin' Gid around."

Barnabos sees Gideon puff up a little at that with a smug yet proud smile. Ahhh, well, that makes sense. Always better to have one's lover looking out for them, even when it might not be needed.

"I'll be servin' up a feast myself this morning," Barnabos says, tossing some pork into a pan and deeply inhaling the scent as it sizzles and pops. "All sorts o' fine foods, sweet an' savory alike."

"I'll be cookin' up some Agwe classics myself." Kremy pulls a small bag of flour from his belt, as well as a small glass jar of oil. He measures both out carefully and mixes them together in the pot. "Sausage and chicken gumbo, and maybe a tarte. We'll see, I dunno if I wanna risk a beezleberry infestation here."

"... Did you hit your head when you landed here, lad? I don' understand half the words yer saying."

"Oh. Right, well, a beezleberry is some kinda... horrible Feywild monstrosity. Tastes real fuckin' good! But kind of otherwise really horrible in every other way."

"I thin' I speak for everyone when I say you'd best leave that out."

"Yeah, probably."

"Is Agwe a Feywild city as well?"

"What? No, it's a fuckin' normal city."

"No need to get up in arms, Mr. LeCroux! Was just askin', I don't recognize the name is all."

"I guess it is pretty inland for someone like yourself to visit."

"It's where you wanna go if you're lookin' for a good time," Gideon says, pulling out a cigar and lighting it with his magic. "Gamblin', sleepin' around, scammin'-"

"Sounds like you should tell Mr. Stabbaskotch about it!" Barnabos declares with a grin. "He's the scammin' and gambling sort!"

"Not surprised." Kremy just keeps stirring his flour and oil mixture. "I could taste fiendish magic all around that little fella. Hope he got himself a good deal out of it."

"We may never know." Barnabos pops the bread into the oven. "He's got some sort o' beastie after 'im, but if you ask me he just needs to face it."

Gideon takes a drag from his cigar. "Sounds like he got a shitty fuckin' deal. Hey, how big is this fuckin' breakfast gonna be?"

"I'll be makin' a feast for the whole camp! It'll be plenty to fill up on, don't you worry."

"I'm making enough gumbo for seconds too, Gid." Kremy gestures back at Gideon. "His stomach's made of fire and stuff, he needs extra."

"Well I'm also keepin' up some fuckin' gains." Gideon flexes and grins.

"I'm not so scrawny myself, lads, I know what I'm doin'. ... Speakin' of, Mr. LeCroux, are you ever going to add any food to that there slurry?"

"The rue's barely there! It's only a light caramel, I'm looking for milk chocolate."

"Yer burnin' it on purpose?"

"Cookin' it. Keep your hands away though, this stuff is fuckin' Agwe Napalm."

"... And that's a common dish there? Something that they call napalm?"

"Can find it all over, none's as good as mine though."

"... Maybe don't tell Mr. Stabbaskotch where to find your city, on second thought."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The breakfast is a hit.

Kremy made enough gumbo just for his own family and their "hosts", so to speak, while Barnabos fed the rest of the entire camp. Not a single crumb or droplet was left behind of either of their meals, the gumbo being a highlight.

"Holy shit!" Skrimm literally bounces in his set a bit. "How have I never had that before?!"

Jornir places his bowl away. "It was... very good." He nods at Kremy.

"I'll admit, I 'ad my doubts watchin' the process, but it was well worth it." Barnabos sops up the last dregs of it with some bread. "I'll be tryin' to make my own take on it soon enough."

"Lookin' forward to tryin' it." Kremy leans over to Gideon and, less subtly than he thinks it is, whispers, "I saw him fuckin' drown everythin' in that Ancient Estuary shit Duncan had, I'm not fuckin' eatin' that so I'll just give it to you."

Gideon tries to laugh in quiet gleeful agreement. It's also louder than intended. Everyone graciously ignores this little conversation, for the sake of the ogres and their new holiday. Otherwise Barnabos and Skrimm might be rolling for initiative over the slight against Ancient Estuary.

"Oh! By the way, not to uhhhh impose," Gricko says, making a strange hand gesture, "But um, the big fella, there."

"I am called Jornir."

"Jor-nir-aye."

"... N-no."

"Anyway! Um, I noticed you've got a little funny shedding going on," Gricko says, lowering his voice and running his words together at the tail end of his sentence as he tilts his head. "And if I'm not mistaken, my friend Kremy here should have some nice bananyas leftover because he never used them in his pie, and I think it would make a nice, salve." he folds his hands and gives Jornir a funny little smile.

"Oh, yeah, I think you're right." Kremy reaches into his bag and pulls out Bananas.

Daisy gives Kremy and Gricko a look of perplexion and judgement so strong that it's a wonder they don't take psychic damage.

"They're fuckin' magic healin' bananas, alright?" Kremy tosses one at Jornir.

Jornir catches it, and examines it. "This is... infused with magic." He looks at Gricko. "I did not believe you when you said you were a druid."

"Oh, that's fair, I'm not the usual kind." Gricko pats Hootsie on the head as she, with an intelligence more humanoid than animal, pulls a plate of muffins closer and begins eating, picking out any chunks of fruit she finds like a picky child.

"Well... thank you. I will go use this." Jornir stands and leaves the table, and just as pointed out there's a fine dusting of fur on the seat as he leaves.

When he returns, there's sure to be... more visible damage.

But in the meantime, things settle a bit.

"Well," Taishen sighs, "Before all of this happened I'd told Myelin I'd check on an issue with the plumbing system, so I'll be going now. They gave me a wonderful outfit to do it in, too!" He holds up a pair of blue overalls and a fetching red cap.

"Oh, you guys got plumbin?!" Gideon leans in. "Why didn't anyone say so, we're fuckin' filthy!"

"Well, it's not working right now-"

"Oh, I'll get that workin'." Gideon stands up. His chains fall to the floor with a heavy clang! "Just fuckin' watch. Take me to the ogre sewers, dragon guy."

"Oh, company! Excellent news!"

"Go get 'em Gid." Kremy calls after them.

"Jackasses," Skrimm snorts.

Queenie glares. "They're fixin' your water, Skrimm."

"They're also working when they could be relaxing."

"But a hard day's work can be rewarding!" Twig bounces in her seat and holds up a hand. "You get to have things working right, you get to feel all nice after you get cleaned up, you get to lick frogs you find whole cleaning out the cupboards-"

"Lick frogs?" Skrimm's face scrunches.

"Didn't you try snake poison with the ghosts, Mr. Stabbaskotch?"

"Totally different."

"Yeah, snake poison tastes bad." Twig shrugs. "Anyway, I think it's gonna be better once they get the water running."

"Yes, I... am in desperate need of a bath. I'm still... messy, from Julia and Bobby's... acts."

Torbek makes a low sound of both disgust and intrigue. Frost wrinkles his nose and shakes his head.

"Well, I'm sure they'll be returning with good news for us," Barnabos says, leaning back in his chair and puffing on his pipe. "Oh, Mr. Jornir! Lookin' much better. What do you think about all this, sending the fire lads to fix the plumbing."

"I think that it will not work," Jornir says, sliding back into his chair and smelling of smushed bananyas. "And that we will need to have everyone move before we go to take the Armament from the Princess. ... And after the blood sacrifice."

All mouths at the table fall open.

"... Talk about a mood killer," Gricko mumbles.

There's a long silence.

And then Daisy raises her hand and signs, "I nominate Bacon for the sacrifice."

#legends of avantris #once upon a witchlight #icebound #my attempts at fanfic #fanfic

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thewertsearch · 1 year

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FCA: i got a problem FCA: wwith Feferi FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin CCG: OK, WELL CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU. [...] CCG: BUT SERIOUSLY JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IN PRIVATE ABOUT IT, OK MAN?

Karkat’s such a bro - but Eridan is a mess that I’m not sure he’ll be able to fix.

I mean, what relationship advice could he give, here? Eridan would probably only date a highblood. Vriska is ghosting him, Feferi cut him loose, Equius already has a moirail (and his other paired quadrants are in flux), which leaves... Gamzee.

Hope you like Faygo, Eridan!

Good enough!

CCG: BEAR DOWN EVERYBODY, THIS IS FUCKING IMPORTANT, THERE IS A QUEEN ON THE LOOSE AND WE'VE GOT TO SHOW A BITCH THE DOOR.

Hussie’s recap makes it sound like Queens are meant to stay on their planets - we’ve never seen one off-world. Snowman, however, is apparently ‘on the loose’.

That frog might have had some unintended consequences. She was willing to give up the Ring, and maybe that made her more willing to bend some other rules.

FAG: 8ut do you have any idea how funny this thing is? I mean this whole thing???????? I can't stop laughing! CCG: HEY CAN FUTURE YOU MIND-PREVENT ME FROM HITTING THE BAN BUTTON?

I fucking hope not! That’d turn her into a one-woman Exile station!

FAG: We didn't really need you to pretend to 8e a little angry general to get any of this done. FAG: We kicked the queen out of there no sweat! It was easy. In fact, I did most of the work myself, right 8efore I found all the treasure and scaled all the rungs.

He told you to do that, though. You can quibble over whether you ‘needed’ him, but you wouldn’t have done it without him!

#2547 #homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5 #s45 #yes i'm starting to stan karkat a little

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thefluxqueen · 1 year

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HIIII :) here to ask about the abyss tell me about it please please please love this sort of thing :3

HAIIII welcome :) to preface this im normal i swear. anyway The Abyss is what i like ta call my Horrible Horrible Maze, i made it w/ the goal of making the worst possible experience in minecraft to torment my friends ^_^

I enjoy putting people in situations and studying them :D

On that note! everyone who runs the abyss (24 people at current count) I time and write a couple notes on them! the abyss is honestly half maze half personality test LMAO. at current moment the quickest time goes to @ghostpajamas with a baffling 03:24 (wild that he got out so quick, i win tho cause i haunt his dreams), and longest goes to the beloved @rendogdomesticated with 1:35:54 <3 special shout out ta my dearest @theoctagon tho wolff ur insane i love u. guy goes inta the abyss for fun and has like 10 pages and counting of insane person phsyical notes tryna map it out (hes reported that hes gone through the first one 60 times and the 2nd one 5 jesus chriiiistttt). the abyss is fond of Pilot :) also if wolff is the favourite than @potionofinstantdamage is the Least favourite, rude ass set the place on fire when he got stuck in there :( oof ouchie

Highlights from my notes include @quack-city running backwards and upon me asking Why, simply replied “what if there’s slenderman :(‘ ... cant argue w/ that! he also hadda stop mid run so we decided its funnier if he’s just stuck in there forever. @newtbeetle was in there for like an hour and would NOT shut up about Paul Dano the whole time which was a time (love u beebs. ur isnane). my two test runners are @kishdoodles and @officialgleamstar and they had about the same time but like Opposite reactions it was very funny, kish treated it like they were a streamer n kept a like constant chatter, and travvy was like DEAD silent the whole time n Intensely focused akjewkjr tbh outta all 24 runners trav’s been prob the most like, methotical bout it? LIKE I SAID personality test. i Love studying people.

In regards to its origins I came up w/ the idea back in like feb/march ish of this year and from start to finish it took me like 2 weeks ish i was on the Grind. u dont understnad how much black concrete this thing took. hell on earth,,, darkwoods has an economy/shopping district and i bought out like All the sand/gravel available akjwekjr the rest i hadda gather myself n God gravel sucks. also ive killed So Many Squids. the 2nd abyss was much easier ta gather supplies for cause i could ask for help w/ supplies n i kept the first one a Complete secret minus my test runners (i hadda bitch at SOMEONE while makin it or i wouldve died i think. speakin of the first abyss has a death count of 13 and the 2nd one has like, 5 or somefin? rlly shouldve writen that down akjwerjk those are Entirely me dying in the process of buildin them btw. its not a true Spain Build unless its mildly dangerous <3) The 2nd one also made me learn redstone, notably i specifically studied Tango’s decked out process vids from s7, tho i really only stole like two aspects of it n i couldnt even get one ta work properly LMAO

The second abyss took me like, wayy longer ta make, bout two months ish (i finished it like mid july). not necessarily in actual like, time spent building but cause in the process of makin it i had Two month long events i was in (Voiceteam in may and Art fight in july) so that distracted me a bit wkwnekeneie Im a bit more secretive bout the second abyss in general since not That many people have actually ran it compared ta the first n theres actually like, Things that can be spoiled in there <3 i like seein peep’s initial reactions its much more satisfying.

This didnt happen w/ everyone but i think a like, Core part of running the abyss is getting emotionally attached ta weird things. i wouldve said just torches until a few days ago when Tac (onea the rat server mods) ran it and claimed the stack of pumpkin pies i gave her as family. But Prior Ta That several people have had very intense emotions bout the redstone torches, whether love or hate or both, key example ft dog:

Also not everyone ive mentioned on this post is in darkwoods! ive got a server i world editted the abyss inta so non-server members can run it for fun and profit (more data for me) :) on that note ive been slowly infecting the rat gang server cause my friend’s in there alot n another friend of mine’s a mod so peeps in there’ve been runnin it lately :) shout out ta TalonMC for lettin me subject him ta the Horrors literally our first conversation, onea my more fun first impressions i’d say

In regards to lore the abyss is a parasitic entity that infects anyone who gets stuck in there n slowly compells them ta go build their own lmao. note that ive only called the second abyss the Second one and not Abyss 2, because its technically just The Abyss as well cause theres many of them i just made it second wowjdkenejd (a real example of this is Wolff gettin obsessed w/ the abyss n then goin n buildin his own build called the Tower :) very excited bout that) The Abyss has a weird like fucked up warlock bond w/ my goddess oc The Overseer :D Her design’s vaugely based off my irl friend @hotcollectionoftubs cause her creation The Hole on a creative world her n some other friends of mine are on was onea the main insperations for certain aspects of the abyss’ lore :D mainly the teal in the colour palette and the whole ‘the [hole/abyss] provides’ thing.

(my reference images for her and 3rd pic's art i commissioned from the Lovely @opuntie):

my darkwoods chara, Snake, is a whole nother bag entirely (basic gist is they’re a dimension traveler not by choice and darkwoods is the 3rd world theyve been in, their deal’s worth a whole post of its own lmao) i built the first abyss entirely unrelated ta my chara just as like, fun weird build ta torment my friends w/o yaknow? but then as i was buildin the 2nd one i was like hmmmmmm. alotta things could make sense if i made this one built by Snake. so their retirement arc on darkwoods turned inta even MORE trauma! wahoo! poor guy deserves a break,,, (he will not be getting one).

(pre abyss + post abyss. i gotta properly draw pre-darkwoods Snake at some point but this dudes changed Alot ill say that lmao. both crops from bigger pieces on my art blog @fluxydrawings)

Anyway thats basically it! ive got more details and things locked in my brain ill probably remember in like 2 days after postin this so theres a chance ill reblog this w/ extra shit later lmao, sides that tho the abyss is my babygirl n thank yall for showin interest ^_^

Memes n shit to end us off:

#Inbox #darkwoods smp #the abyss #t3rm1nus #anonymous #not puttin this under a read more. look upon my creation boy.#ive been writing this post for like. 2 days kjawekjrkwekj its like 1.1k words or some shit #i have So many thoughts bout the abyss at all times #also too lazy ta add ta the post more but im workin on a Secret Third Thing called The Coil that isnt an abyss but it IS the like. spiritua #l successor #the goddess of the coil is the Overseer's ex wife <3 for fun <3 #i should rlly like. add up the average time for the abyss cause theres a Lotta variety #shout outs ta my bestie Kelly for gettin the 2nd quickest time and fellow darkwoods member Fuzzy for gettin the 2nd longest time akjwekjrkj #spain speaks

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wally-friggin-franks · 5 months

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hey. hey pint.

feck i forgot what i was gonne say.

uh. ye got any funny stories from t'e studio ye wanna share i guess? -🪚

pff hi shawn

uhhh i gotta think but im sure theres a few. uhhhhmmm. hm.

i mean one time i guess i was just biting mean ppl. yk as i do. jack waltzes up ta me, right, n they says, they says ta me- "hey, chomper." and thats like the highest honor ive ever recieved. idk. thats not the story i wanna tell but its somethin. its important to me. they are warm and soft like mashed potatoes

,,actually lemme try n tell multiple short ones. not including the smelly peopel/silly

one time i was like really friggin sleep deprived, right. like went a full week without sleepin. me n grant bump into eachother n it goes "first time, kid?" and i responded with some sort of unholy abomination of slurred together jumbled sounds. he goes "oh. yeah def. your first time. you get used to it. here." he gives me a SPARE FULL CUP OF COFFEE. WHERE DID IT GET THAT. anyways i chugged it like it was my life support n' i was fine for a few more days until norman caught me and dragged me, by my ear, the whole way home. basically threw me towards me couch. i think i said somethin' like "im FINE" and then immediately passed out for 2 days straight

speakin' of norman- shawn, d'ya remember that prank we pulled on it and henry that one time, where we tried SO HARD to set up little mistletoe around the studio in places we thought theyd be together. but freakign. CONNOR WHEATLEY KEPT TAKING THEM DOWN WITH THE DUMB REASON "ITS NOT EVEN HALLOWEEN" OKAY SO WHAT WE R ON A MISSION. FRICK YOU WHEATLEY FROMTHE WRITING DEPARTMENT.

um. anyways. we just ended up tripping norman into henry and they just hugged but thats a win in my book.

lets see. allison invited me over once to bake, right? so i says to her, hey, im not that good at this, i still don't trust myself around the can opener. she goes "nonesense!" .....anyways that ended with a few injuries and the most mediocre peanut brittle youve ever seen. dont ask me. we gave some to susie and she FOUGHT to give me a thumbs up bless her heart. altho i did have to empty the trash can full of the discarded stuff which like so valid. it sucked so bad im sorry miss susie cksbjf

OH MY GOD OKAY so at some point i was tired of just. throwing away my empty cleaner bottles. so i cleaned some out and started usin em as like. drink bottles. right? although i had to stop when people saw me chug them and thought i was making unwise decisions. so that only lasted a week. i think i scarred a few people for life. but the lemonade i put in em was bomb ok its not my fault

if ya want more, i can prob'ly think of more. i should. prob'ly go to bed for now, though

#《janitor's jumbles》#《remember that time?》#this was so fun ta write #batdr da #batdr irl #batim da #batim irl #batdr kin #batim kin #looking for sourcemates #wally franks irl #wally franks kin #wally franks da

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tokumei-s · 8 months

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hi there! welcome to my blog ^_^

i’m seven! i’m an inkling, a minor, nonbinary and use they/she/he prns.

i came to splatsville and started participating in battles pretty recently, but i got very into them as soon as i started! i’m still kind of a novice though, and i don’t have much knowledge about strategy or whatever ^^|| i like to think im a jack-of-all-trades with weapons, just a master of none. i enjoy rollers, dualies, sloshers, shooters, brushes, blasters, and wipers!

if you have any jobs you need help with, feel free to ask me! i’m happy to do tasks for other people especially if they’re illegal :D as for other stuff, i LOOOVE wet floor, yoko & the gold bazookas, and all the idols!! at the moment i’m trying out the big swig and some blasters! locker customization is my passion, and yes 7 is my favorite number

you can also call me agent seven. If you know, you know. anyways some tags i use!

#seven speakin - what it sounds like!

#reblobb - my reblogs!

oh, and as of the moment i'm in inkopolis [read: playing splatoon 2], so i'm not really keeping up with whatever's going on in splatsville! sorry everyone!

last updated 9/17/2022 lol

[blog creator here! I’ll probably use this account mainly to interact with @/that-marie. I’m also a minor, use whatever pronouns are fitting for the bit with me, and in OOC I’ll also be using brackets. I’m still not giving my real identity away, though! Also yeah, Agent 5’s blog gave me the idea to do this and make it easier on myself lol.]

#seven speakin

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michael-michael-michael · 1 year

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this ain’t somethin i don’t usually talk about but,

jokes. the good god jokes. where do i start.. aight, the joke scale;

1-9

One is just fine-! A good joke nonetheless, nobody hurt.

Two is alright! Funny, full of laughs. A good time-!

Three! It’s alright if I say so myself, it’s great n’ all.

Four, it’s fine as it is. a kinda good laugh, somewhat funny.

Five, it’s- alright. i guess? im not really sure if you’re jokin’ or not, not that bad.

six, a bit risky.. could’ve harmed a little bit. dunno.

seven, yikes my guy.. you uh, y’said that n’ all.. isn’t that too off the edge here? y’need to think about what ya said, jeez..

eight. dude, why? that’s too far, rock bottom even. i cannot comprehend those words that came outta yer mouth.

nine. my guy. WHY?!??? WHY AND HOW IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU DO THAT?? YOU HURT SOMEONES FEELINGS. SOMETHIN WRONG PAL?? YOU AINT SPEAKIN’ AGAIN..

and that, i.. kinda went off there. what i was sayin’ was: and that was the joke scale, from fine, to THATS WWWAAAYYY TOO FAR MAN!!

-mic

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ask-mafioso-bendy · 1 year

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"Speakin' of Henry, is yer Henry around with your gang? If so, what does he do and how is he??"

-Fem!Bendy

ough . . . Po- I mean . . . Henry is a tough subject fer me. He’s been dead n’ gone fer a long time.

‘Course I miss him lots . . . though it’s been a while since I visited his makeshift grave here in the town- Lucky bastard spent his final years back home with Ma, so he had that goin’ fer him. Old age did him in, but I hear he went peacefully. That’s all I can wish fer ‘im. I wish I’d gotten the chance ta say goodbye . . . but I was buildin’ my way up from the ground after Joey tossed the whole studio aside fer the garbage heaps. Boris n’ Alice were the last ones ta see him before he . . . well . . . We miss him every day . . . I guess I buried myself in my work so much I nearly forgot his anniversary is comin’ up-

#bendjamin answers #bendjamin drew art #Bendjamin drew #Mafia bendy au #bendy au #batim bendy #toon bendy #bendy the dancing devil #bendy #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #story and lore

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ronniebabbles · 2 years

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all about me!

hiii! i thought a good first step here would be to introduce myself, so come along and get to know me!

basic info!

🍰im ronnie (she/it)! im 18 y/o (~4 when regressed), and ive been regressing for over 5 years now! <3 i have adhd, and agere used to be one of my hyperfixations when i first started regressing. sometimes i hyperfocus on agere stuff (*insert me making this blog😅*), but my little space never left me! it's grown and changed as ive grown up, and i still love my little self so so much♡

🌸tiny me loves pink, dinosaurs, stuffies, warm blankets, coloring/drawing, and her comfort characters! she's big on fashion dolls and calico critters, and has tons of toys and gear (it loves to collect when hyperfixated) that i've gathered over the years! im currently starting to have an interest in onesies and smol-friendly clothing, which is fun, as i love fashion outside of my regression as well😊

dni/boundaries

💫i love making new friends, especially fellow regressors! with that said, please be 16+ and sfw (no n$fw, k!nk, dd!g, etc) when interacting with me. this is a regressor you're speakin' to here! respect and kindness is what i'm all about. if you are bigoted in any way (sexist, racist, ableist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.), you are not welcome here.

💖if you follow these guidelines, i'm so happy to have you here!! in dms, tone tags would be appreciated, but aren't necessary😊 please, ask b4 using pet names, but baby talk is alright! im always excited to make a new friend, so shoot me a message!

closing message~

alright, i think that's all i have for now! if you wanna get to know me more or just have a chat, feel free to send me a follow or a dm! im so excited to interact with the agere community after so many years of regressing myself😊 have a sweet day!!

#agere #age regressor #age regression #sfw agere #sfw age regression #sfw blog

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kogglyuffs · 2 years

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warning: mucho texto

yknow i couldve just waited till i hit the 1000 followers but damn, i dont wanna wait to show how grateful i am for the support yall gave me throught the past.. what? 3 years?

hold on.... 3 years???? it all felt like it was around one or one and half?? geez im growing old ;;;

i honestly cant really find the appropiate words to tell yall without sounding so corny but ngl im lowkey emotional seeing all these people liking my works, even if i barely show any living signals around here (im trying but i forget haah 😭😭).... i still cant believe i got to meet great artists and people around, and admire their art and more.. it has been quite a very nice trip to me, yall really helped me try the confidence of calling myself an artist, and for speakin with nice people around many communities, it has been fun, actually, very fun!

sure things have changed for many, including me, fellow friends, followers.. we all get our ups and downs eventually, yet here we are.... idk, here we are?? seen people havin different project nowadays is like... the proud parent instincts are quicking ow

ok i rlly have nothing else to add, scuse my mucho texto.. my nostalgia slipped... but im very grateful, thankful?? idk, but im actually really happy to see people liking my art, and i really like sharing my art around here.. thank you a lot for these 3 years, mostly, thank you :0)💖💖

(reused rookie doodle i did bc wynaut)

im pr much aware these kind of posts arent common and dont get that much attention, but i atill would like to let yall know that i appreciate yall :0)

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hareofhrair · 1 year

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In that one ask about getting into trouble u mentioned shafan kinda steering clear from purple bloods. Have they ever had an encounter or experience with one? How did it go?

HH: =oh i've had run ins with m=ore'n a few cl=owns, n=one of em pleasant.

HH: best =one was a sweep =or s=o back. i was cruisin this lil shindig a friend =of a friend was thr=owin

HH: m=ost everyb=ody there was a rusty, but tha thing ab=out thr=owin a g=o=od party is

HH: cl=owns will just sh=ow up

HH: they just manifest there =or s=omethin s=o=on as things really kick off

HH: like the way bleatbeasts just show up at metal c=oncerts

HH: anyway everyb=ody kn=ows y=ou thr=ow a big en=ough party yer runnin tha risk a cl=owns deciding ta crash it

HH: but generally speakin cl=owns aint subtle and when they sh=ow up ya kn=ow what's happenin

HH: s=o i'm at this party and havin a real g=o=od time

HH: maybe a lil drunker than I =ought ta be

HH: when i sp=ot this Big B=oy lurkin in a c=orner b=o=oth

HH: and yall kn=ow i like em big

HH: s=o i slide in and intr=oduce myself