#it literally went down exactly like this

[sovonight]

why is so much of sewing just tracing and cutting and tracing again q_q i see why people get projectors and use adobe illustrator now

#drawing up a design that i can easily pattern from my sloper: 😊 #actually having to make the pattern by tracing and cutting ad infinitum: 😰 #piecing together printer paper to get a big enough sheet of paper and doing this ten million times: 🥲😭 #not to mention the IRONING.... prewashing the fabric and having to iron 8 yards of fabric???? excuse me???? #and then distorting it as i iron bc it has a slight stretch and i got so tired i stopped being careful 2 yards in #and the way that you're supposed to press every seam... excuse me... am i just supposed to have my iron heated and on standby at all times #AND THE STEAM??? i just got stay tape the other day and thought it'd be a neat alternative to stay stitching #BUT IT NEEDS STEAM TO ACTIVATE (which okay makes sense) BUT long story short i'm too afraid to use the steam function #on my iron because none of us are sure if water should go back into a tank that's been in disuse for 30+ years #so instead i get this water spray pen and delicately spray down the length of each piece of stay tape #before i cover it with a piece of gauze and iron it. and then i have to iron it extra so all the water actually evaporates #oh and the spray pen holds as much water as half a pen so i have to walk to the kitchen every 10 sprays to refill it #and i have to do this for every curved edge on my pattern pieces #i mean the alternative is just stay stitching but then i would have to calibrate my settings for a single layer of fabric instead of double #which means i have to switch my needle out more and i'm still new enough that sometimes i install a needles wrong despite going through #all the same exact motions that i usually would. i'm LITERALLY suffering out here. anyway can't wait to sew or whatever #oh and did i mention i went to a sewing meetup recently? yeah... #everyone there bought like $30-$100/yard fabric and i was there awkwardly knowing i only buy like $12/yard fabric #honestly though i have the opposite problem people usually joke about. i find it So hard to find fabric i actually like #it needs to be the right fiber + right color + right pattern/texture + right weight + i have to know exactly what i'm going to make with it

[hussyknee]

TW: 200th rant about the stupid "HP fans are all complicit in antisemitism and transphobia" discourse, brought to you by my OCD-induced suicidality.

I've by now become so wary of trans people and enbies on social media, especially Jewish ones. I'm like "this person is GOING to be on their Harry Potter bullshit and trigger the hell out of my OCD" and my hackles go up automatically. Then my OCD goes "haha you hate them because they're Jewish and/or trans, you're an antisemitic transphobe so they're clearly right about people who defend HP! SUFFER bitch!" Cue hell loop until my brain is flayed over anything nobody actually even said or did.

I don't even LIKE HP that much anymore, why is wanting to stop having PTSD episodes about stupid shit the thing that also dropkicks me down seven circles of hell??? It's made all the so-called "leftist" enclaves of the internet a minefield. Why are people with OCD everyone's favourite collateral when it comes to stuff shitty rich assholes do? Is it so fucking hard to stop making up thought crimes to attack people over??

It's an extra layer of horrible when the same people have no problems applying "no ethical consumption under capitalism" to stuff like Coca Cola and Nestlé products. Y'all can't possibly live without child slavery chocolate or making brown people drink Nestlé's toxic filth or anything that's subjecting Indigenous communities and people in entire Global South continents to long, lingering, horrible deaths, but this one franchise whose author royalties are funding the UK transphobic lobby is the one line that matters. Fuck all the trans people in those places I guess. Every single Global North consumer moral policing is western leftists's dehumanization of our people writ large. Fuck all of you.

#yeah i know i keep bringing this up. that's the nature of OCD #and the sheer prevalence of this rhetoric and the lack of opposition to it #sometimes it's like Im the only one speaking out #and it's because my fight and flight response is set to fight and I can't disengage #not because Im brave or something #in order to avenge the UK's trans genocide it's people like me all over the world #who can't even afford books and games #that need to be killed off first #when you're triggered into suicidality over and over because of your love for a book #that helped your child mind escape while cowering from the adults in your life #even without having paid money for anything HP related in years #how exactly are you supposed to rise above that #i've systematically lost my entire friend group to this clown circus this year #because apparently ''this thing you're doing is ableist and also making me suicidal'' is just me being lost in the fandom sauce #and not caring enough about real issues #it's no use singling out the western left anymore bc USAmerican internet hegemony means even my people take their political cues frm them #''you're being influenced by western imperialism'' went down about as well #as did ''if my wellbeing is not enough for you I literally know trans HP fans wth OCD who are suffering even worse than me'' #harry potter #knee of huss #scrupulousity #pure ocd #actually ocd #western leftists #white queers

[yuridovewing]

this isnt a jab at op of the last post ftr its more of a sentiment i keep seeing, and its not a huge deal, but im confused as to why we’re comparing squirrelflight and leafpool’s trauma at all and trying to downplay the other’s? ive seen some people literally claim that you can hardly complain about squilf’s treatment cause she’s leader now “and leafpool NEVER got anything like that” and im just. what do yall get out of this exactly?

#like i dont think its bad but why are people duking it out over who has it worse and like. what does this benefit exactly? #yes i do believe that leafpool went through worse narratively but squilf is constantly the victim of abuse apologia #and her supposed ‘’win’’ in the latest book is literally being treated as a bad thing bc oughh shes STUPID #oughhh she doesnt know her territory cause shes a stupid female arent you sooooo sad bramble is stepping down??? uwu??? #like. both of them are treated like shit? i think we can have that conversation without downplaying what the other goes through #im saying this about both sides i must emphasize. squilfs abuse doesnt make leaf’s better by comparison

[28dayslater]

Was stuck in the site managers' office for like 20 fucking minutes this afternoon bc none of them can ever stop waffling, told one I went cinema on Monday he asked who I went with I said oh I usually just go on my own and he went "on your own?! Fucks sake girl take [boytoy] with you" one of the others said "yeah you could take his virginity" third one comes in halfway through and goes "who are you talking about, [insulting nickname about his sexual ability that I can't post without full naming]?", this guy catches pelters left and fucking right

#one of them literally RANG me like alex can you come downstairs its important. #it was someone elses fuckup it took exactly one minute to sort and i couldve done it from the comfort of my office chair #the MD came in looking for someone and went “alex you’re not down here flirting are you?” i was like GASP how dare you i would NEVER!! #(i might but on this occasion wasn’t)

[starlooove]

I think the funniest thing is like the og argument matters less to me than the fact that white people immediately jumped to racism. Like if you had shut up and rolled your eyes at the addition it wouldn’t have been nearly as ironic as going ‘you blacks are so dramatic don’t you know I reblog about how black squares aren’t enough and am aware that white people marched in 2020!’ Or ‘if I called you a nigger you’d get mad huh?’ literally proved the point. AND THEN acting all nonchalant about it literally proves the committing to the bit racism post that y’all didn’t even see because that one was too black for y’all

#like Im not surprised this is exactly what happens when you tell white ppl that their racist grandparents might’ve passed racism down #and that knowing it’s bad to have a confederate flag isn’t enough and microagressions are real #actually that’s too specific a comparison #this is just what happens when you tell white people things they find fun are indicative of different societal environments #like those tags were so chill too #literally the nicest way to put it and they got pisseeed #white ppl calling black ppl sensitive after ‘i dislike the implications of this poll’ made them go ‘fuck you I hate you I’m not racist’ #oh and this isn’t me saying the og didn’t matter to me #Im just saying I’m like #well not surprised #im surprised y’all don’t see it actually #like Im surprised you thought that out responded and went haha this will prove I don’t care 😏 #this will prove em wrong!

[grgie]

theres an office runner job role going that looks perfect and now im stressing myself out trying to write a perfect cover letter 🫠

#helena talks to the void #like it is literally what i want to do at the level i am at #its embarrassing that my heartrate is up just from writing the cover letter #also im updating my cv for the first time in like a year and i hate it #im essentially completely redoing it #i also have no idea what exactly i should put down for my current job considering ive not added it before #and i never got a full job spec when i went full time #at least the deadline is this weekend so i can get it done and just suffer for the rest od this week

[weenhands]

im so upset i think im literally shutting down

#im just so overwhelmed all of a sudden because of this fucking course #i cant just relearn everything (i have the time and ability to do so) but it #just isnt fuckiny right and to get a min 50 on the exam #for a course thats known for a severe fail rate #im just. idk i feel frozen and bad and shitty idk how 2 study for this i cant just half ass understand everytbing #even if thatd EXACTLY what i did for my other exam??? #bc i Did remember some stuff #idk i think im overreacting i need to calm down #bc i am literally spacing out and i need to go home i dont wanna be near anyone im gonna buy some #food so i actually fucking eat and go home and like probably try to gather myself together #i think i just suddenly went down a bad mentsl path and dhdhhxhdhxkchdodruwiyfieud now im fucking stressed the hell out #i need to calm but iNeed to fucking study this goddamn exam is on mondsy u fucking idiot ans u didnt do #good on ur other exams because youre such a stupid failure jesus christ its stats you absolute fucking dumbass #god im incapable of ANYTBING i shouldve killed myself in december literally such a waste !!!!!

[theghostofashton]

.

#pls feel free to disregard this is gonna get sappy for just a sec #i've just been thinking about december 31st last year #went to visit some family i hadn't seen in a long time and i had been actively applying for jobs for like six months #i was miserable everything about it was miserable #and these relatives in particular have always been so supportive of my dreams like. pursuing an english degree #working in publishing working with books #and i remember one of them saying how it had been six months and it may be time to look into something else just to get something #keep trying for publishing but also you need a job so maybe take something you don't want in the meantime #and how deep that cut being from someone who had so strongly supported me for years like #maybe i just needed to pack it up and give in and do something i didn't want because i needed the money #at that moment i was interviewing for my current job and working on an edit test #and a couple weeks later i got an offer #and it has been a year of ups and downs but i love my work literally so much #i have the kindest boss and work with a wonderful team of women and it's just. it's everything i could have ever asked for #even when it's stressful and difficult #and idk that feels significant to me #right as i was about to give up i got exactly what i wanted and so much more #2023 was a lot in so many ways but i will always be so grateful for this year and everything it's given/taught me

[thegeekyartist]

Got some minor attitude from a fellow teacher this morning.

#her class ends at 1 mine STARTS at 1 #there's literally no break in between #students were leaving at like 12:55 so i went in to put my stuff down #IMMEDIATELY #'Brooke we still have five minutes I don't want this to be a thing where every week people show up earlier and earlier' #'because WE need this time' #like #it's week TWO! Last week it was pouring down rain and we all waited outside until exactly 1 pm #the kids weren't even there yet AND all of her students were already packed up and leaving like??? #at least give me a chance to be rude and unaccommodating before you treat me like I was #personal #/rant

[hoshiyoshis]

rhythm hive update ive waited hours for you. i swear to god if you arent good im gonna be so fucking sad.

#daisy.txt #LITERALLY i logged int o play and ten minutes later it went down for maintenance #im being subjected to SUPER so im not exactly happy /j #(i liked the loading music from rhythm hive. listening to the same piece of super is Not fun im sorry) #(itd be fine if it was idk. more of the song. but its ONE section over and over and over and im like i dont even like this song to begin w)

[dirt-str1der]

Wrt the previous post i still get so mad about how stupid some people are about that like okay thank you for letting me know you failed basic reading comprehension

#Listen to my problems #yeah sorry this post is going to be about the incest horror game again #like yes of course the game will attract incest loving audiences this is not the games fault. its extremely well written imo #like yeah the game has the incest ending. you mean the ending where external forces literally discourage you from making it happen ? #‘are you sure this is the route you want to go down?’ like you have to purposefully choose to make it happen for it to happen #thats not the story the game is trying to push you towards thats the ending you get because you went out of your way to get it #‘ashley thinks its funny that they had sex in a prophetic dream’ do her previous actions mean nothing to you ? like did you forget that #ashley literally says things that she knows will make her brother really upset specifically because she wants to see him upset #the incest ending is what you get when you let ashley win and she is like ... not exactly the hero #she doesnt even want to sleep with him like she is not even attracted to him. this isnt a ‘my sibling is hot and i want them’ thing. this is #a ‘im terrified of my brother leaving me and i will do anything to make him stay’ thing. its not a happily ever after it was a last resort #im going to look real stupid if the dev turns out to be pro incest

[kuroosdarling]

pretty sure i walked past my soulmate today

#i’m so mad at myself LMFAO #story time :/ #so i wanted starbies for lunch bc i was craving a cake pop #and when i was walkin out and sippin on my lil iced coffee that’s when it went down #i looked up and this gorgeous woman was walking in and she looked at me n smiled and said hi #and i was like 😵‍💫 and just smiled at her bc i was like idk her ?? #but also WAH I FELT A CONNECTION #but like my dumbass kept walking #and i’ve been thinking about it all day ;( #SOBS !!!! #she was so cute y’all :/ #literally exactly my type #and was nice #and i’m a DUMBASS !!!!! #that is all #⁺. ʚ aims lore ɞ ⋆˙

[roaringroa]

to the beautiful girl dressed as juliet from the halloween party two days ago: i am still thinking about you

#she was crazy beautiful and we danced for so long #she was a friend’s friend so at one point we went to sit together with everyone else and there weren’t enough chairs #so she pulled me onto her lap and when i told her to be careful cause i’m heavy #she said not to worry cause she works out so she can handle hot women????!!!! whjsgjajakshs #should have kissed her then and there but we literally had just sat down in the middle of all of our friends so i thought later #and at one point i think before that she kighted me with a water bottle?? i can’t remember why but i kneeled in front of her #so she knighted me and then gave me a kiss on the forehead and then one on each cheek #should have kissed her then too but i think we did the knight thing as a demonstration to ppl so again all of our friends were paying atten #anyway after both the lap the knighting and dancing very closely for a while i took her somewhere else #like outside so i could find an excuse to kiss her #but there were other couples there and everyone was asked to get back inside #so we did and then we sat down somewhere #we were chatting and then she said something about the guy who was flirting with her and how she wasn’t sure she should kiss him #because (here i don’t remember exactly) something about her ex boyfriend and how that guy wasn’t sober #so after that i was like wait am i sober enough so i realized i was a little too drunk and didn't try anything again #anyway we continued to dance and flirt but nothing more #and then she left and all i could think of please can i see you again #cause i would really like to kiss you and now i'm still thinking about her #but i don’t use insta and even if i did i prob wouldn’t flirt with her via insta cause i'm too chicken #but if i don’t use insta how can i see her again since i don't see our mutual friend that frequently #ou mutual friend is my high school friend and her middle school friend #my high school friend group is planning to get together in like a month and a half ( we have to plan in advance lol) #so i might ask about her then 💀💀💀 #might be a little pathetic to ask about someone you met once after 1 month and a half but honestly i really did like her a lot #and i AM a little pathetic so… #also just to be clear this is not the girl i kissed in the sonic costume lol i was dressed as wednesday addams and didn’t kiss her :( #also no hate to the girl i kissed in the sonic costume she was cute but juliette girl was so... asdjlkfsçad #my post

[raiiny-bay]

woke up with monster Kel's entire origin story playing in my head like a movie

#i am about to fuck this man's whole life up #up until now i'd been having such bad writer's block for the monster boys #like i just couldn't figure out what exactly went down in order for kel to turn himself into a monster #like i had a vague idea but i couldn't think of any specifics #& when i woke up this morning it was literally like having a vision #sooooo i will be writing today #& maybe installing fo4 in hopes of figuring out how to rip assets from the game to use in blender #:-) #rainyrambles

[mallowaj]

yall ever watch a movie from the 80s / 90s with the most in your face queercoding ever seen, load up its tumblr tag hoping to see some gay person saying the exact same thing, but theres NOTHING?!! like, was it just me??? who read into this???? its so baffling everytime man, because how on earth did NO ONE think the same thing and go on tumblr to talk about it. I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#phil speaks #i watched the shawshank redemption yesterday and. man. #i dont think redd or andy were necessarily in a romantic relationship or nything like that #BUT #the relationship they did have felt deeply queer with the whole becoming “institutionalized” thing and whatnot #and im not saying that to overlook the corruption of modern prisons / police in general #(i mean that LITERALLY goes hand in hand with the queer experience as well lolz so its fitting) #but i think that that same institutionalization can be applied to the queer experience #my favorite example is when redd is finally honest with the board and tells them exactly how he feels about himself / his time at shawshank #it felt a LOT like coming out especially with how his life goes after doing so #like yr telling me this guy had to change who he was after doing something that broke a societal norm then adhered to that norm + / #expectations of others for so long that he lost himself and only found himself again when a man who went against the norm to be himself / #entered his life? and then befriended him and learned to be unapologetically himself which ultimately lead him to an even more difficult / #path of self-acceptance but once he did accept himself and broke free from expectation he went to live the rest of life out with the SAME / #man who sent him down that path!??!?!??! #THAT FUCKING QUEER. #QUEER AS HELL EVEN. #idk i was vry invested in this movie for no particular reason an i was flabbergasted that no one else read into it like that #so sorry for the rant but i HAD to talk abt it bro #ive been thinking abt it nonstop #anyways #andy felt very aro to me especially with the whole “that doesn't make you a murderer. a bad husband? maybe.” thing that went down #the way his character expresses love is very platonic even with his wife #also. with andy being aro. i dont think its much of a stretch to think redd and him are a qpr #like youre really gonna send this guy to go dig up a letter asking him to come live with you in mexico that is buried under the same spot / #where you and your wife “made love” and you make sure to note that he cant know whats inside of that letter until he essentially comes out #making sure that theres a committment??? #LIKE DAMN #if that isnt a proposal of some sort idk what is #this has been phils queer reading of the shawshank redemption

[hua-fei-hua]

pre-pandemic i had a playlist for when i was studying chemistry, but at some point during lockdown i got rid of it bc i never used it anymore bc online classes bounce off smooth rubber brain; however, i wish i still had it bc at this rate the romcom hijinks playlist i spent days slaving over (bc i have like fucking Three unambiguously non-angsty songs in my mp3 files by default) to cue the brain into reading mode will be rendered moot bc of all the executively dysfunctioning tumblr scrolling i've been doing to it instead

#(whilst avoiding working on this week's lab report) #(it's due tmrw n i'll probably get most of it done at work tmrw afternoon but i wanna get a Chunk done now so i can work on fic tmrw) #o chem really has just siphoning away my fic writing time LOL #it feels like every time i sit down to type some stuff up or write or smth a classmate pings/dms me abt it ;w; #lab went on for ages today bc for some reason our product didn't dissolve too well so when we first crystallized it #it had these giant globules of impure product amidst the crystals that just never dissolved #so we had to pick those out w/tweezers; dissolve them; ice bath them for 15 min; n then vacuum filter them #before combining it w/the prev crude product crystals to recrystallize them as a whole n so by the time #THAT got put into ice bath the ice had all fucking melted n we couldn't get more bc the master bucket had melted away #my lab partner is also a massive perfectionist who needs everything to be Perfectly Exact(tm) #n then also get teacher approval if something looks even Slightly off #i'm sure to her i look careless n uninterested but like man i've already failed so much shit before i'm Not that worried #she gets impatient n stressed easily too n i'm sure i don't help w/that ahaha. but also holy shit if it being exactly 5mL mattered #we'd use fucking pipettes not the graduated cylinders it's literally just solvent; i promise you it won't fucking matter #花話