#it wasnt tehre

[lycaeons]

MOREEEEE DASHFORD!! (the ones w dash having glasses are form a role swap au a mutual on twt made ^_^)

#dashford #fordfire #ford phillips #dash gunfire #the case of the gilded lily #the case of the greater gatsby #shipwrecked comedy #lycas works #guys if you’ve seen this b4 and tehres a missing drawing now #it’s because i WASNT meant to post that one yet but i forgor

[iheartliquor]

#HEAVEN OUTPATIENT STORE #IS THE NAME OF THE ALIEXPRESS STORE THAT SELLS THIS PINK AUX #isnt that a pretty and funny name for a auto excessory sdtore!!! #cute #anyways not buying it cause ill just buy one at a gas station #but was trying to get another one of those radio ones cause i thot there wasnt a aux #but tehre is so god bless #anyways #heaven #pink

[moomoorare]

Kinda funny that the flowerpot au are generally really calm and happy and meanwhile the piratecove au lifestyle is so messy lmao rip to puffychu

#like theyre all close age too so its soo much lmao #gonna implement some help from other people tho because really tahts a lot. #eret and beeduo i feel like take care of michelle a fair lot buts hes also the oldest so #my mind immediately blank when i try to think of something ad if i dont knwo eveyone in the smp and wasnt here for two years helpp #okay um #mind is blankkkk #I'll come up with something bc itd also make sense #i feel like tehre should be a school ground or something for the kids #maybe run by sam nook since hes really good with kids and teens #hed keeo his cool with like 20 kids surelyyyy

[meatsound]

i also lovingly pat every bull pine i saw along the trail and im so glad they were tehre because i had to cling to a couple for dear life

#they were pitch pines <3 #tehre were a lot of them too #normally in a pine forest there are mostly scrub pines bc theyre all competing for resources #but there wasnt enough to cause that so they could grow big and strong

[mothpile]

sometimes people will touch my old art and ill first of all feel anger of “odnt touch that its so old!!!!! why wouldyou do that!!!!!” but its actually okay usuaulyl.

#guys isnt it crazyhow t.ma ended after season 4? wow #guysisnt it so cool how t.m.a was jsut about cool scary shit ? wasnt that awesome? #and tehre was no season 5?

[skenpiel]

-_- that ballet wasnt even good

#not gonna summarize cause i cant be bothered but it was like a ~modern~ take on cinderella except it wasnt really #it was like. shes an immigrant whos lost her parents she lives at an orphanage and tehres no stepmom its just the woman in charge or w/e #and the stepsisters were just two twins who were mean. it didnt make a lot of sense and it was bad at explaining the story #and the costuming was super weird. they had some of the prettiest costumes ive seen but then cinderella and the princes clothes were so #completely utterly boring. like just a regular plain dress and the prince had a glittery coat and that was it. it was lame #the choreography was nice and so was the light thingies and the orchestra was great of course #but the show itself wasnt very good. next up i think were gonna watch don quijote! thats probably like next year though

[that-jack-kline-bestie]

whatever show ive been watching has been really necessary bc all the other things are like house and hannibal and so so much codependency and unhealthy relationships that im all gone so the one ive been watching has been good it kinda cleansed me of that my mind is righting itself but i cant reslly remember what the show is

#idk if thhis #akes sense im kind of high and issociated and my arms are growing longer away from me #lol #not in the weed way i did that and it made me go so bad im srtlll recovering oh no great theres the headache #yeag xanax is cool cuz i cant get too much of it at a time bc i take it from my moms prescription which i know is bad and wrong but she suc #s okay #and it makes mu feeijngs come back a bit and i lose the self cpntrol which is very good bc thats what kepes the emotions at bay #but unlesss im around my mom #cuz if im sad i hav tpo be very careful if shes nice mom or mean mom today #last time i was sad and i started crying and i couldnt stop she got so so mad called me manipulative #the time before that (but that time i wasnt high) i also cried and she just hugged me and cuddled #so i trusted her a little bit after that i thought maybe we could work on our relationship betetr #but it turns out mean mom is still tehre #shes so mean #im not making sense anymore #i just want nice mom back from wehnni wasa kid #shes srill there but it s so sad bc she ususalyly isnt #mean mom was even there when i was a kid but she wasnt mean mom then she was just stressed mom #but now idk if itll be mean mom or nice mom #stressed mom was still mama #but shes not anymore it feeels like #ventm

[grimmshood]

i cant listen to red moon anymore bc i just get flashbacks to the dbd kard collab...

#they all look so fucking BORED its so sad #txt #and jseph wasnt even TEHRE

[wigglepiggle]

grr I want to eat another lemon but I think that would kill my throat

#also tehres no lemons in the house #and its almost 2 am #i chewed one earlier it was from fair lemonade so it was squeezed already there wasnt much to eat so i just chewed it #i love lemons ive never had a whole fresh one though i want to peel one like an orange and eat it #perry parle

[thisgodwontforgiveyou]

i guess the solution to guys like lili and asuka and bryan just stomping over everyone is the way theyre expanding and improving both power crushes and rage arts so its much riskier to try to get a quick counterhit off on someone being hyper aggressive

#which has questionable implications for characters who already struggle with mobility AND counterhit damage like #what the fuck are they gonna do with bears given theyre the one character which literally cant move out of the way of taking chip damage #like tehres no way in hell chip damage wasnt specifically influenced by rangchu's victory over qudans the INSTANT they #announced that i was like oh they hate his ass

[hellfire--hearts]

i hate this place I hate this place I hate this place I hate this place I hate this place

#IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO GET THIS HOT THIS EARLY #i literally cannot exist in the house during the day outside of the bedroom i am too fucking paranoid and #vinces parents are just. so fucking eager to bully us :) #literally every time i go out tehre they have smth negative yo say #but now its almodt 80 degrees in the bedroom and i want to die #it wasnt supposed to be this fucking early and when i grt back on my prozac my heat toleranxe will #get even worse ;;;;; i already feel like im fucking dying whats next huh whats next whats fucking next #i hate the heat i hate it i hage it i hate it even 74 inside is far too hot and i might as well kill myself when it gets to 80 otside #eccept now its 90 ourside ans 80 inside and i want to die i want to fucking die i can barely breathe #and theres no realif geres no fucjing relief and i wanna be in Illinois already please god ;;;;;;; #i hate it here i hate it here i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it

[hella1975]

there is not a SINGLE REACTION when andrew. ANDREW LITERALLY IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE !!!!! THEYRE RIGHT THERE I REREAD AND I REREAD IT TO CHECK HE WASNT JUST WAITING FOR PEOPLE TO BE GONE !!!!! THEYRE RIGHT FUCKING TEHRE !!!! when andrew targets neil like he hit the shit out of him with a racquet he pinned him in an elevator. NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING !!!!!!! ANYTHING !!!!!!!

tearing into furniture trying to stop myself from explaining andrew to you so just know there IS an explanation for why no one steps up to him and nicky's gonna show you pretty soon when he starts flirting. el oh el

#you'll figure it out as you go like andrew is actually incredibly compelling but i also cant talk about him without you reading more #so im just gonna sit here vibrating on the spot. picture me reading over your shoulder rn #ask #aftg

[lasttree-garsennon]

okay so like

first tehre was a lot of confusion abt which subjects we had

then somehow out of three two subjects students already got fixed and locked

so when the third subject teacher asked who wanted to do this one day before the festive vacation i raised my hand

and she picked everyone except for me and one other girl

she picked the girl sitting DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME and not me

nd im very good at SST btw i love social science and i get good grades in that out of 20 i got 19.5 last time so im validated too

and

i was like what no i am gonna do this

so i approached her and said "hi helo i wanna do this" and shes like "we have like 7 ppl already..." but i insisted so shes like "okay ill keep you as an extra" and drew a line under my name and put my name along with the other girl whom she had not picked lets call her s

so

then

she forgot (??) to put me in the gc in which they were discussing it

but she put s

lmao

and it was the vacaction and i dont have my own phone nor the teachers contact info

so i just. didnt know till after the holidays upon which i appraoched her and asked why i wasnt there and shes like oH oOPs or whatever and tells me i can help out if they need anything

so i went there but the kids just basically made me gvethem my statinary and then treated it like trash

and then disrespected me (whole diff incident) upon which i got mad and called a kid who had been dismissing me very much a problem and then i felt bad cuz i usually dont do shit like that like i just

dont say mean stuff back

but i did

anyway so

none of the kids, all of whom were in my class, reminded her i was supposed to be there too

idk if they forgot or what but s was literally next to me she knew she approached the teacher at the same time as me

so like. wow. after all my effort, after almost dying with the sleep deprivation and work load im just. forgettable. lmao

Do no harm but take no shit it's good you said some mean stuff to them and your teachers an idiot

Also you're not forgettable not to me

[thebestestdancers]

man. it is alwasy sad when you see some situstion wehre obviously a person is being groomed btu they cant realize it themselves yet because they arent in thw mental space to do so yet. like that was me for a lonf time andit is so much harder than it soudns to finally scrape togehter the like... even just an identity of your own lonf enough to say 'this wasnt right' let alone remove yoruself from the situation. i think a lto of people who dont know/havent experienced grooming kid of think (or pehraps not directly think but have these beliefs inthe back of their heads that) youcan just stop thinking the way yiu do about your situation at any time. and i get it taht does make it easier in some way to then ignroe the situation because tehre literally isnt anything you can do about it unelss youre a very trusted friend of the victim and even thwn they have to be the one to take those leaps sometimes. esp if itsbeen going on since thehy were young like gd damn so much of my identity was cauhgt up in my groomers that thwre were times inmy life wehre anything and everything i ddi was dictated by if i thoguht tehyd approve of it or not regardless of if theywere even there and living like that makesyou forget how to live any other way. idk. this isnt prompted by ahything i just got high and bummed out cuz another popular content crwator was reveaeld to be a groomer (surprise) but man.

#esp wehn this kind of thing comes out and the victim feels obligsted to say it didnt happen liek that or its actually okay becayse xyz #like yeah. taht is because of grooming too. grooming tellsyou everythinf your abuser ever does is something you should be thankful for > #< anf anything less than that youdeserve to die if you ever tihnk they do anything wrong. and that fucks wiht your head so badly #grooming #abuse #<- sorry. tags for blacklisting

[imjustcoping]

21/10/22

i get the feeling my best friend doesn't believe in non binary.  A while ago she said that she didn't believe it was a a thing.  she literally called it a phase because she didn't know any adult that were non binary who used they/them in their pronouns.  Which i find silly because she is a pansexual girl who should understand the stigma that gay people faced and still face.  After years of being told that being gay isn't real and that its just a phase and she says that.  and she doesn't really view trans people as people- she says its because her dad is a doctor and he finds it really difficult to diagnose trans patients when he doenst know what they are.  Its so fucking stupid he could legit just ask if they were afab or amab but it should already be in their medical history.  i fucking hate it.  I also sent before and after picture of me wearing a binder and i was so happy.  In the GC T congratulated me and gave me a shit ton of affirmations and it made me feel so genuinely good.  but S just ignored it.  I know we are drifting apart and i know its my fault because this always happens.  after 5 years they go, they just disappear into the mist, a new school, new friends, or im too much

And last night i was doing an assignment on 2 separate books.  Aftter i finished the first one i went on tiktok and of course a bunch of relatable autism stuff starts coming up and a vid about the raads-r test comes up.  so i do teh test and  get high scores and i do a bunch more of those tests and keep getting high scores in them.. In my 3am haze i sent the quiz to my family gc because im almost positive that my dad has autism.  But he had a partially open discussion about it with me the next morning, to  be continued for when i wasnt late for school.  when i finally gathered up the courage to tell my bsf from before that day that i scored high in these autism tests and i was kind of excited to maybe understand why im like this, because ive been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.  ad autism can often be misdiagnosed for those two mental illnesses if you have been kind of traumatized as an autistic person. She told me that it probably isnt it.  She old me that sh doesn't trust those autism tests and that i shouldnt just self diagnose and that the depression and anxiety is whats making me think that.  It felt liek shit.  becsue tehre is a lot of evidence towards me being autistic, alongside the teste there s also a bunch of symptoms and there is a link between autism and asexuality(im asexual) where in a population of people there is about 1% asexuals but in the autistic populations they were far more likely to be asexual or feel disgusted toward sexual penetration.  

I know that i cant just self diagnose but im trying to figure out whats wrong with me and its not like im about to go around telling everyone im autistic becasue ive self diagnosed my depression and anxiety for years and have only told like three people, and even now that ive been diagnosed i haven't told anyone else.  Im not doing this because its trendy, the trend has just made me aware of how many autistic traits i carry around with me.  i was just finally happy that maybe im getting somewhere with figuring out my mental health.

I think im gonna tell my other friend from that group chat.  she is so supportive and has suspicions that she is autisic too. So im going to send her a message, with a forewarning.  I just want to talk to someone who is actually going to listen about what i have to say before throwing her opinion in.  And the pure confusion i have relation to my inability to express and know what emotions im feeling, she knows i have trouble with expressing my emotions and talking about how i feel but she doesnt seem to realise the impact on me

The dumb part about my friend telling me not to self diagnose is that she has been telling EVERYONE that she has ADHD for 2 years, she even told us in a group convo when she was accusing someone else of being a pick me for pretending to have adhd, someone pointed oout to my frined that she kind of mentioned having adhd a lot aswell and my friend tells everyone that her therapist diagnosed her.  she lied to us and Up until now she didnt say she didnt have adhd until shes trying to prove me wrong.  She basically said that she cant say she has adhd just because she gets easily distracted.  

I had fully supported her, when she claimed she had adhd, i believed her and did my won research, sending her videos which are supposed to help learning in a nuerotypical classroom easier.  and all she does is tell me that those tests arent reliable.  AT LEAST I ACTUALLY TOOK SOME TESTS INSTEAD OF PROPERLY SELF DIAGNOSING FOR YEARS AND BRAGGING ABOUT ADHD AND USING IT AS AN EXCUSE TO INTERRUPT AND IGNORE PEOPLE.AND T

#am i autistic? #self diagnosed autism #non binary

[barneysbigstompers]

then the spoons and knives started crying

buzz was there shit was wild bro you gave speeches

ME.. I WASNT EVEN IN TEHRE